"Please be careful," said Leliana, taking the Chantry robe away from Lance with as much care as she could manage. "I have to return these and I'd rather not explain to the Revered Mother how they got so dirty."
Lance grunted. He was leaned against the edge of the small bed. It was a tight fit, everyone in the one room. They'd had the money to get several, but were meeting to strategize.
"I take it you did not find her," said Velanna, sounding as though she wasn't too disappointed. She narrowed her eyes at Lance, her characteristic scowl. "Yet you did manage to get yourself captured."
He shrugged. "It was a hiccup."
"It was stupid. You cannot do this," she said. "You are not invincible. Next time take someone to watch after you."
"Perhaps you would prefer to go with him?" Saul asked, looking between her, Leliana, and Marjolaine. He could scarcely decide which he preferred. Velanna scowled at him, too.
"Shut up," she said. Thinking, she added, "Spy."
He held up his hands defensively, tried to look innocent.
"Hey, I'm agreeing with you," said Saul. "They know you're here. They probably have me marked down as a traitor, too. I think we had best be more careful about our next move."
Leliana nodded.
"The Wardens came just one day ahead of you," she said. "They alerted the Empress to your treason. They say that you have come to assassinate Morrigan, her adviser on mage affairs."
Lance cocked an eyebrow.
"'Adviser on mage affairs'?"
"It was created specifically for Morrigan," said Leliana with a shrug. "The Empress really likes her."
Lance snorted. What could Morrigan have ever said to the Empress to get into her good graces? As great a manipulator as Morrigan was, she lacked tact and had a habit of saying the worst possible thing at the worst possible time. Like Velanna.
He glanced over at her, found himself looking at her for a little longer than he had intended. She shared the look, her eyes filled with a little something else. Longing.
Leliana saw, and furrowed her brow. She knew that Lance was madly in love with Morrigan, or had been when they'd last seen each other. Perhaps her leaving him had indeed wounded him too deeply to be measured, and he had found someone more dependable. Was that so bad? She didn't know.
"How'd you know to rescue me?" asked Lance. Marjolaine grinned widely at Leliana. Leliana made a sour look and faced Lance, making a point not to glance at Marjolaine again.
"The Empress alerted us," said Leliana. Lance tilted his head, indicating for her to elaborate.
"It is all a part of the Game," said Marjolaine, leaning back in her chair and stretching like a cat. She made a noise of pleasure as she scanned the room's occupants, probably wondering whose bed she could trick her way into. "Captain Dirge has become something of a political inconvenience. He is fostering the belief among the nobility that the Empress is incapable of governing Orlais properly."
"Where does that get him?" asked Saul, who was rather over his head when it came to the muddled Orlesian politics.
"As a wealthy general if he supports the right coup," said Marjolaine. Lance tapped his foot noisily, quite a bit more eager to get back on the subject of Morrigan and how he could best rescue her.
"They let the Empress know that we're after Morrigan," he said. "That way when they kill her, it looks like we did."
"A little flashier than I'm used to," said Saul. "But why not?"
"Why does the Empress want me out and about?" asked Lance. "Even if she's butting heads with that asshole?"
Leliana smiled at that, her eyes taking that familiar glint she got when she was talking about wistful things. The sort of look she got when she teased Morrigan about Lance. The sort of look she got when she watched them kiss.
It made Lance's stomach turn.
"Morrigan talked about you," said Leliana. "In private."
Marjolaine nodded, smiling in her own way. "She did. The Empress thinks highly of you because of it. Dirge is going to try to find Morrigan first. Use her status as an apostate to get support against the Empress."
Lance looked away, towards his shoes. He didn't speak but they all knew what he was thinking about. And the set of his jaw left no ambiguity.
Velanna looked at him, squelching the words that she wanted to say to him, the warnings. She put a hand on his leg, just a friendly, comforting gesture to prying eyes.
Leliana stepped forward, clearing her throat to get Lance's attention. She held up a roll of parchment.
"This is a letter the Empress asked me to give you," she said. "It explains it all. Morrigan has disappeared."
Lilith perked up when she heard that, and she spoke with calculated calm, despite the excitement that raged in her gold eyes.
"Do you know what that means?" she asked. "The child."
Lance tensed, taking the letter from Leliana with greater force than he intended to. He clenched his jaw at that, an apology held back.
He looked at the letter, read it over.
Neria was making noise in the back of the room, tapping her staff on the ground to be given attention.
"What am I missing?" she asked. "There's something I'm missing."
Leliana nodded. "So am I. What child?"
She gave Lance an accusing look, one that softened when she thought she realized what was going on. And she smiled.
"You… you have a baby! You and Morrigan have a baby!"
Lance crunched the letter up in his hand. Lilith tried not to laugh out loud at Leliana's excitement. The poor girl looked around the room, tried to catch on, failed.
"What's going on?" she asked. "You have a child, don't you?"
Lance swallowed hard. He looked at the assembled group. They all stared up at him, expectantly, even Marjolaine. He supposed they deserved an explanation. If he was going to lead them where he was leading them, then they deserved that much.
He sighed, turned to face the wall.
"I…" he hesitated. Velanna, reached up, held his hand to comfort him. He closed his eyes, spoke to the wall. "I should be dead. I killed the Archdemon, so I should be dead."
There was a silence that spoke of the confusion, the wonder. They were all staring at him. Waiting.
And he figured it was now or never. If these people wanted to be Wardens then they deserved to know.
"An Archdemon cannot be slain without the Grey Warden that kills it dying. It's the only way."
There was a silent gasp. And Cauthrien spoke, voice shaking.
"You mean… you didn't kill it?"
"I did," he said. "I did. With Morrigan's help."
And Leliana stumbled backwards, reaching to cover her mouth, to stifle the gasp. She sat on the table, eyes filling with tears as she thought about the implications. As she realized what he was doing.
"She had a ritual," he said. "We had to conceive a child. And the soul of the Archdemon would enter that child."
He turned finally, opened his eyes to see the accusing glares, the looks of sheer horror. He held his arms wide, looked at Cauthrien, Saul, Neria. He breathed in what might have been a humorless laugh.
"I'm your hero," he said. "This is me."
Leliana's lips curled, became a mask of anger, accusation. She threw a light punch at him; hit his shoulder just hard enough for him to know what she thought of him.
"What did you do?" she demanded. "You… why…"
She fell to her knees, brought her hands up to cover her eyes. She was crying.
"How could you?"
He was sorry for shattering whatever idyllic vision of him she had. And he saw the horror on the faces of the others, the disappointment. All except Velanna. She looked serious, but she didn't blame him. She instead watched.
Lance grit his teeth, tried not to let any tears show. He was done with that. Crying wasn't him anymore. He didn't have time to. Cry later. Win now.
But he turned to the wall, cleared his throat to rid himself of the burning he felt there. His scar throbbed.
"Once upon a time," he said. And he reached down, took Velanna's hand again. He wanted to tell them everything, leave nothing in the air. This part… it was what they needed to know. He wasn't a hero, not by anyone's standards. But they needed to know why he wasn't, why he never could be.
"Once upon a time…" it hurt. His throat burned. He wanted to leave, to be anywhere else.
"Once upon a time there was a man."