Chapter Eighteen: What Could Have Happened

"In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain." --Pliny the Elder

Bridget had never laughed so hard in her life.

Ever.

After several more joyfully painful minutes, she regained control of her breathing enough to sit up and, wiping the tears out of her eyes, looked back up only to dissolve into tears of mirth once more. This time she doubled over, falling on her side with her arms wrapped around her cramping stomach.

"You can stop laughing now, you know," the mellifluous voice said, sounding feminine and sensual, though terribly annoyed.

A pair of long shapely legs swam through her watery field of vision, ending in small, delicate feet, one of which was tapping out an irritated staccato. Behind the legs, or rather, on top of them sat an attractive, freckled face, with sparkling hazel eyes framed by long black lashes, and a long tail of messy black hair. She was the type of girl who would be described as "cute."

"Bridget, I'm serious," she moaned. She sounded at her wits' end.

"Actually, you're James," the boy behind the "girl" said.

He had long red hair, blowing in the wind and showing golden highlights. A long, perfectly Roman nose accented his face, making him seem almost unapproachably handsome. Lean, but not scrawny, his build suggested either very good genetics or at least a few hours working out every week. But there was something strangely familiar about his eyes… his… emerald green eyes.

"At least you're," Bridget took a deep, steadying breath, trying to stifle the giggles, "you're hot." And she was lost to peals of enjoyment again.

"But, I'm still hotter," a higher-pitched, yet still recognizable voice added. "Of course." The girl who'd spoken was absolutely beautiful, the kind of beauty that had more than likely inspired duels to the death in old days. High boned cheeks, and clear grey eyes riding beneath artistically arched brows she blinked at the sudden attention. The girl who had been James Potter turned to glare at his— her—best friend.

"Well, I am," Sirius said defensively.

"Sirius, I do not know you." James turned back to Bridget, who was battling to take a deep breath, still laughing every time she looked at what had become of the group of Gryffindors. "You should not be this happy about our... our changes!"

"You just identified me by name, Prongs, so you can't claim that you don't know me," Sirius's voice was, sadly, painfully triumphant. There was a loud gasp from the ground, where Bridget was still sprawled.

"Oh, God, it hurts," she said between giggles. "Can't… breathe… too… funny!"

"Jetty, you need to breathe," James dropped to her knees, turning Bridget over onto her back. "Breathe, love, just breathe."

"Oh God, James, that's really not helping," she said, gripping the girl's hand. Abruptly, she sat up, wiping her eyes for the last time. "Hm… that's just weird. I can't go around calling you James anymore, not until we get this figured out, at any rate."

"So…what does that mean?" James asked suspiciously.

"Names," Jet said simply.

"You're going to give us names?" Lily asked, voice thick with undisguised horror.

"Of course. What if it takes a while to get you all right and proper?" She didn't seem to notice the surprised looks on their faces as she considered them. "Let's see... I believe I shall start with Sirius." She thought for a moment, lips pursed prettily, and Sirius barely had to time to wonder if it was wrong that she still wanted to kiss her when she clapped her hands excitedly, looking for all the world like a delighted child at Yule. "I've got it! Sirena! Oh, that's brilliant."

Lily choked, hiding a smile.

"Lily now…" Bridget got up, and walked a slow circle around the girl-turned-boy, scrutinizing him with a single-mindedness that made Sirius uncomfortably jealous. "Two syllables. L… L… L… Oh! Leo."

Lily sighed and Bridget frowned at him. "You don't like it? That's my grandfather's name."

"It's fi--"

"What about James?" Sirius asked. She wanted to see the smile Lily had taken away from Bridget's face again.

"Psht. That's an easy one." Bridget pinched James's cheek with undisguised glee. "Jamie."

The only two who hadn't spoken up, or indeed even moved much, were the ones standing in the shade, as far away from people as humanly possible without actually going vertical. The boy and girl were glued to each other in ways that bespoke of protection and claims. A golden haired, fair skinned girl was pressed tightly against a tanned, taller boy's chest. He wasn't muscular by any stretch of the imagination, but he certainly was fit, in a wiry sort of way; scrappy was the word that he brought to mind.

The boy radiated power and fury and when a group of goggling Hufflepuff boys passed by, staring at the girl so hard that one of them actually walked into the lake, the boy holding her growled menacingly. "Touch her, and I'll rip you to shreds," came a husky voice that was startlingly familiar.

"Didn't mean no harm, mate, but that's a right pretty friend you got there," the obvious leader, a boy they all recognized from class but didn't know by name, said, marching up to the Gryffindors.

"We'd rather like to get on a first name basis, if you know what I mean," one of the others said. He was either incredibly brave or stupid. Perhaps he was merely testosterone-driven. Bridget sighed; boys really were idiotic. This one seemed to have a death wish of some sort.

"No," the boy said shortly, wrapping his arms tighter around the girl, who squeaked and buried her face in his chest. "She's off-limits. Taken."

When the cradled girl looked up at Bridget, who was circling the two curiously, there was a jolt of recognition. She had the most captivating eyes, tinted an unusual golden color.

Bridget's eyebrows shot up. "Merlin, Remus, you're a gorgeous girl."

"I don't know how you handle this," the girl formerly known as Remus Lupin whispered with wide terrified eyes. Sadly, the horror only added to the damsel-in-distress appeal. "They never stop!"

"Shh," the black braided boy said, rubbing soothing circles across the girl's back; she buried her face against the boy's shoulder and continued to hide as best she could. "They'll have to go through me first, and you know that won't happen."

"Are you kidding me? You'd kill anyone who even tried to get near!" Sirius paused thoughtfully. "You almost did, actually."

"And that," Bridget said firmly, "is why you make friends with large, overprotective males, Rem which is precisely why your angry friend is so useful. It may cut down on opportunity, but it also serves as a very effective screening process."

"Hurt not lest ye be hurt," the last boy murmured, still sheltering Remus with his entire body. "Anyone who dares try will --" The entire group (aside from the still freaked-out Remus, who seemed to be listening to the reassuring voice with a desperation bordering on panic) tuned the boy out.

"Uh… right," Bridget muttered, raising an eyebrow at the display. She waved a dismissive hand. "Anyways… why don't we ignore the short-tempered crazy--"

"Is that why you're friends with us?" Jamie interrupted, frowning.

It took her a moment to figure out what he was talking about, but when she did, Bridget rolled her eyes. "Well, not right now. You're rather useless in this state, you know. With those legs, you'd hardly serve as a deterrent for anything." She sighed, eyeing the offending limbs sadly. "In fact, you need a longer skirt—you can use one of mine; it looks like they're about as long as mine and-- trust me on this-- you'll never get a proper, cerebral response from a male with those all," she gestured haphazardly, "all exposed."

"They are rather nice," Lily said, with a rueful smirk. Shocked, they all turned amused faces to him, James blushing slightly.

"Maybe you'll have better luck as a chick, Prongs!" Sirius said in an excited voice.

Bridget sighed. "Sirena, now is not the time to wonder if Jamie and Leo would make a cute couple."

Funnily enough, Sirius seemed to be taking this sudden transformation the best out of the group. Unfortunately—at least from her adventurous point of view—Bridget was a very conservative sort of girl, not at all likely to want to experiment. Kagumi, the boy sheltering Remus, almost smiled but quickly tamped down on the expression when Remus let out a soft whimper.

Lily glowered for several long moments. "Dammit, Black," he grumbled, crossing his arms—tightly fisted hands and all—across his chest.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"I'm no longer allowed to hit you."

"You can't?"

"Real men don't hit females, no matter how much she may deserve it. You're a she and I'm a he which means that this must be fixed. Now."

Bridget smiled brightly, being the only one in her proper form and, therefore, quite content. "Sounds good to me. Now we just must figure out precisely how…" She trailed off suggestively and they lapsed into a thoughtful silence.

"Gui, you haven't spoken up much back there!" Bridget called, looking back at the pair. "You know, aside from the normal death threats."

"Gui?" Kagumi asked caustically. "Gui?"

"Short for Guillerme and Spanish for William; I can't exactly call you Kagumi. After all, though you may look a tad feminine, you're most certainly male, with the shoulders and all." Without a word, Kagumi tucked Remus closer to his side and continued the glower he had mastered early on, seemingly ignoring the proceedings going on with the rest of the group. "Now, though, I believe it is time for us to thi—"

"Bridget!" a boy's voice called across the lawn, and the entire group turned to see a medium-height, slim Slytherin briskly striding towards Bridget with a book in his hand.

"Oh, boy," Bridget muttered, wide-eyed. Looking somewhat horrified, she put one hand on her reddening face. "What have I done to deserve this?"

"Oh, this is going to be hysterical," Lily said.

"Bridget, I was reading that chapter of the text we were talking about on the Quidditch Pitch, and I found something I thought I'd… show you…" Regulus Black trailed off, looking very intently at "Sirena."

"Who is that?" Regulus asked. Sirius turned and Regulus dropped the History text. The image would haunt him for the rest of his life, and he did the only thing that seemed sensible at the moment.

Regulus Black screamed like a girl.

"So, you've somehow managed to get yourselves into a gender reversal hex and you don't even know how?" Regulus threw back his head and laughed, until his 'sister' smacked him sharply on the head. The group was sitting, or rather, hiding, in an abandoned corridor and Regulus had invited himself along.

"Oi. This is not funny."

"Oh, I beg to differ, my dear brother – sister," Regulus said, not bothering to hide his amusement. "I find it rather hilarious." He crossed his arms, smirking. "You realize you look like Mum about twenty years ago, right?"

"I do not look like Mum, Regulus, so just... shut up," Sirius said, rather lamely. She appealed to Kagumi for help, with what could accurately be deemed puppy-dog eyes.

"I would shut up now, Reggie," Kagumi growled. He still had Remus cradled on his lap.

"Is that Pheonix? Oh Merlin, for such a pretty girl you make a weird looking guy," he laughed again until he caught Kagumi's scowl.

"If your mouth and voice functions do not cease within the next three second, you will find yourself engaged in a no holds barred brawl," Kagumi threatened, shifting Remus around so that the position was more comfortable.

"I would very much appreciate it if you lot would stop arguing," Bridget said. The amusement had worn thin with Regulus's constant goading, and, as much as she enjoyed his company when he wasn't near any of her fellow Gryffindors, he was acting like a jerk. "Do you guys have any idea at all what could have happened?"

"We still don't know what happened," Lily said, arms crossed and slouched against the wall in typical guy fashion.

The group, aside from Regulus, had stopped by the thankfully empty Common Room to grab better fitting clothes. James was now in a regulation-length skirt, courtesy of Bridget, but she had refused to give up her shirt for one of the more fitted blouses the girls normally wore. Sirius had embraced the look and was even pushing the rules (as usual) with the length of her skirt and the fit of her blouse-- Bridget suspected the former playboy was enjoying the new effect she had on boys. The speculation was leading to some interesting areas of thought, though, so she steered away from them; now was not the time to contemplate.

Much to his mortification, Lily had discovered that Sirius was roughly the same size and that his uniform was a ridiculously good fit; he was sure that he was never going to live this down. Kagumi had slipped into some of Remus's trousers but her shoulders were a better fit for Sirius's shirts, so she was mismatched. And Remus… well, Remus had had to fit into Kagumi's uniform, since that was the only one small enough to fit him.

"Oh, I can guess," James said, rather darkly. His mood had dropped rather fast when he'd realized that he might very well be stuck like this.

"Oh, what do you think?" Lily asked, trying keep from looking; after all, James Potter was something to look at, even when he was a girl. It vexed her that he'd wormed his way into her thoughts lately.

"I have this theory."

"What the hell did happen?" Cordan asked, looking at Raminus.

Raminus shrugged. "I dunno. I didn't even see the direction that the explosion came from."

Much to his friend's disamy, Cordan poked the instrument, then picked it up and started examining it in a rather haphazard way in his hands. "Can't we rewind this thing?"

"Well, we did before," Ram said. He snatched the Mirror back and waved his hand over it, which promptly began moving images backwards. Muttering irritably about silly Gryffindors who didn't know how to handle sensitive equipment, Ram peered intently into the Mirror, with Cordan's chin poking him sharply in the back as he craned over to look over Raminus's shoulder.

"There!" Cor said, pointing at the scene in the Library. "That boy! What is he doing?"

Ram sighed, panning the view to look at the contents of the fourth year's book. "He's being a boy, Cor."

Then the jet of light shot from the boy's wand and the shocked look on his face when he saw what the spell did, and to whom it affected, told them that whatever had happened, he didn't know what caused it. As Raminus zoomed in on the book, he sighed and showed Cordan.

"They're screwed."

"We are screwed," Kagumi said morosely, still holding tightly to Remus. "Completely, utterly, totally screwed."

"We're not screwed, Kagumi," James said defensively; they seemed to have arrived at a temporary, unspoken peace agreement until they were back in their own genders. "We have Remus's brilliance, my and Jet's plotting skill and Sirius's charm. There is absolutely nothing to worry about."

"I take it back," Kagumi said, nodding. "You're right, James. We're not screwed."

"See?" James said, stretching out her legs.

"We're doomed."

"Hey!"

The scuffle that would normally have taken place was interrupted as both parties went to attack each other and were reminded that they were rather different. With a flushed face, Kagumi sat with a huff and nestled Remus against his side again. "We've got to find a way to fix this."

"Yes," Remus moaned pitifully. "I can't survive this much longer."

"Where's the fourth member of the golden Gryffindors?" Regulus asked abruptly.

"Peter?" Jet asked. She thought about it, and realized that she hadn't seen him since she'd stormed off.

"He's…" James and Sirius shared a Look, and shook their heads. "He was in the library with us, I know that," Sirius said.

"Maybe he'd done a runner when he saw the, ah, new developments?" Jet asked, really confused now.

"No, the little tag-along --"

"There you are," a slightly squeaky voice came from behind them. The entire group, Regulus included, looked up at Peter Pettigrew silhouetted against the bright light of the lamp. "Been searching the Map all over for you guys."

"You mean you knew what'd happened?" James asked, perfectly groomed eyebrows wrinkling.

"Well, I can't tell you how I dodged it, because I don't really know," Peter's left middle finger waved in two full circles: a standard sign for tell you later what really happened. "But I did find someone who might be able to help," he finished brightly.

"Oh, Merlin, who --"

"What in the name of Merlin have you four gotten yourselves into this ti --" Minerva McGonagall stopped cold in the middle of the corridor, pure and utter shock explicit on her face. Had Jet spared a moment to think about it, she would have come to the conclusion that her professor's face was a picture perfect example of astonishment.

"Hi, Minnie," James said, giving a half-hearted wave. She winced when she caught sight of her newly-delicate hand, free of the hard-earned Quidditch calluses, and dropped it back on her lap morosely.

"Oh… my…" McGonagall said, clapping one hand to her mouth. She spun around tightly so her back was facing them, shoulders trembling silently until a soft sound escaped, quickly followed by several louder ones. She was doing something that the Marauders had been trying to get her to do for the last seven years: she was laughing so hard she was crying.

"Well," Sirius said gloomily, picking at some dust on her skirt, "at least we got her to laugh."

"Doesn't look like she'll be stopping anytime soon, either," Kagumi said, one hand propping his head up.

"So who won the bet, then?" James asked. "I mean, it's not really because of any of us, at least I don't think it so. We can't just take the gold."

"Maybe," Remus yawned, curled on Kagumi lap like a cat taking a nap, "whenever we find out who did this, we'll give them the gold."

There was a moment of profound silence, if one ignored the laughter in the background. "That's brilliant, Remus," Jet said brightly.

"All right," McGonagall said, completely composed once again. "What… happened?"

"So..." The entire group, minus Regulus, who'd been told sweetly, but firmly, by Bridget to find something else to do for the next day or so, sat in the Transfiguration office. Minerva McGonagall, Horace Slughorn and Albus Dumbledore stood after everyone had given their take on the story.

"It would seem that the, ahem, ruckus the six of you caused might have spooked someone who was trying to practice a spell," Slughorn said; he'd known the Marauders well throughout their schooling, and the two new girls (one of whom wasn't a girl anymore) were quickly achieving a level of brilliance that made his collector senses tingle, for lack of a better phrase.

"The six of us?" Lily asked, throwing a hand out. "I'm sorry, but I believe you're mistaken, Professor. It was those two," he pointed at Kagumi and James, who were determinedly not looking at each other, "who were causing the ruckus."

"We were not causing a ruckus, Professor," Kagumi said flatly. "James was in the way."

"So you broke my nose?" James asked, petite, freckled face darkening.

Kagumi shrugged unapologetically and turned to address Dumbledore, "We've not been on the best of terms, lately,"

The Headmaster himself chuckled, a familiar twinkle in his eye that did not bode well for any of the party's dignity. "I think that would be a mild way of putting it, my dear," he said, a smile surely hiding in the formidable amount of facial hair. "I have also heard that water is a bit wet."

The students gave into giggles, while Slughorn and McGonagall muttered to themselves and each other, looking occasionally at some charts and at the group of Gryffindors. Kagumi gently dislodged a sleepy Remus from his side, and jerked his head at Jet.

"Dude, I just can't get used to this," Gumi said lowly, rubbing the newly shorn hair; after a frustrating attempt at brushing the coarse hair, he had turned to Bridget, who'd wielded a basic Cutting Charm with a carefully straight face.

"What?"

"Remus!"

"What about him?" Jet asked. She paused mid-stretch and frowned to herself. "Er... her?"

"Rem's all… over me, at this point. It's unnerving. Two and a half months ago, he was convinced I wanted to murder him. Last week, we were screaming ourselves hoarse at one another. And now he's curled up on my lap like we've known each other forever!"

"Well," Jet said slowly, massaging a stiff shoulder "You're big and powerful. Few males in their right minds would bother picking a fight with you, especially considering your obvious... ire for those who take advantage of uncomfortable females. He's used to being able to take care of himself, or having James and Sirius back him up; Remus is completely out of his element here and he undoubtedly feels helpless; perhaps you represent protection to him."

"I do want to protect him," Gumi said with a dark look. "But surely Remus could protect…" He looked uncomfortable for a moment, and winced. "This is confusing. I don't know whether to call him a him or a her."

"Go for him. Much less confusing. Unless you're looking at him, at any rate." She shrugged. "I'm just using the other pronoun gender to be... difficult, like I usually am. It's less worrying than if I was acting as serious as everyone else."

Kagumi waved a hand. "Fine: he. But surely Remus can protect himself, right? He doesn't need me to do it for him."

"Gumi, have you looked at Remus lately?" Bridget pointed out. "He's tinier than you are, even in your usual... form, and ridiculously beautiful without the knowledge that someone who grows into it throughout puberty tends to gain. We've learned-- I've learned, as much as I can be an idiot about it-- how to deal with guys and their stupidity, good intentions or... um, not, but do you know what most males, even with the best of intentions, could do to someone that delicate?"

Kagumi's eyes caressed the sleeping Remus, and found the figure to be pleasing, as always, even as a female. "Yes, sadly."

"We both do, and so does he, but he's used to being on the other side. Remus-- and the other boys, for that matter-- are used to being the protectors, the knights in shining armor; they're not used to being the... targets. For him, it's obviously a thing of comfort. Your presence makes him feel safer and I think we should let it be." A short punch on the shoulder later and they had situated themselves to be near the desk where the three professors were talking in low voices.

"What are the charts for, Professor?" Bridget asked politely. The three shared a look before Dumbledore gave the slightest nod.

"These are magical charts that show what magic is active on a given person. We have six of them, one for each of the affected students," McGonagall said. "This here," she shuffled until one with quite a few lines, "is yours, Miss... Mr. Pheonix. This line here," she pointed to a jagged, thick line, "is the same on all of your charts, which is most likely the spell or other magic that switched your genders."

"What about the other lines?"

"We're not sure what they are, for now. You did say you come from a pureblooded stock, so perhaps your family has spells on you. Unless we have reason to believe that they're harming you, we see no reason to interfere."

"And this one?" Bridget asked, pointing to one with a dark, sharp grey line through it.

"Lupin's. Notice that he also has the same green line which we believe is the reversal spell."

"And have you reached a verdict of any sort? I mean, can we reverse the reversal?" Kagumi asked, fiddling with the uniform shirt in a most feminine way.

"At this moment, the spell is too unstable to attempt anything substantial enough to make a difference, so we must allow it to wear off, at least for the time being. It'll take at least two days of charting to see how the spell is reacting to the situation before we can take any sort of accurate measurement of the possible life of the spell."

Bridget's voice drifted over from behind the multiple charts she was examining. "So that would be a basic rate of decay equation to calculate the spell's half-life, although the variables, especially considering the rather... magically volatile environment of Hogwarts would make any sort of estimation... unsure, at best. You'd also have to figure out whether the life of the spell was determined by the mass of the subject's current form or the original form, which would undoubtedly affect the calculations, but one should be able to determine that from the rate of decay, now that I think about it."

There was a moment of astonished silence.

"I told you she was quite bright," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling. Slughorn looked calculating.

"Well, what are we going to do, Professor?" Kagumi asked, panic clearly readable on his face. "We can't go to the dorms, we can't go to class, and we don't even know how long this is going to take!"

"Calm yourself, Miss Pheonix. You can still go to class, and if anyone asks who you are, refer them to me. I assure you I am quite capable of handling the curiosity of students in a way that will not reveal who you are or what happened. And though we do not know how long it might take, it will eventually go away." There was a moment of silence where Dumbledore gave them a contemplating look. "Or we shall find a way. Fear not."

"What about the dorms, though? That's an issue all of itself," she persisted, arms crossed. That really hadn't been all too comforting.

"Now that shall, quite simply, be the easiest problem to deal with. I will allow you to temporarily stay in a wing of the guest suites," Dumbledore assured the students. "I'll set that up now, if you'll excuse me."

At McGonagall's behest, the Gryffindors relaxed in her office, lounging on the floor. As Kagumi got the rest of the group up to speed on what was going on, with the charts and what-not, Bridget found herself dragged off by Remus, who looked extremely embarrassed.

"Bridget, I have a problem," Remus said, twisting her delicate hands in on themselves so tightly that Bridget felt a keen sympathy for the fragile bones.

"All right, Rem, what's wrong?" A flush slowly crept up the girl's neck. "I mean, other than the obvious, of course."

"I…" Remus leaned close and whispered in her ear.

"Oh. That… could be a problem."

"Rem, you done yet?" Bridget knocked on the door of the girl's bathroom.

"Jet, I don't think I can do this!" Remus came through the doorway, face bright red. "I just… I can't."

"Rem, hon, you can't go this entire time without some basic needs."

"But… it's not my equipment, if you catch my drift," the girl said. She stamped a foot to emphasize her point. "I'm just not comfortable with it."

"None of you are comfortable with it, but you still have to do it. Look, all you have to do is get rid of your undergarments, sit, and do your business. Unlike with your former... possessions, you don't even have to look."

"I…" Remus faltered, brows furrowed as footsteps could be heard.

"Griffins," said a cold voice.

Bridget sighed, turning around to face the boy. She didn't want to deal with this right now. "Hullo, Snape."

"Where's Pheonix?" Severus Snape asked, eying the golden-haired beauty in Gryffindor robes. "She didn't show up for practice."

"I… really can't be sure where Gumi is, Snape." It wasn't entirely a lie. Bridget knew the approximate location of the guest suites they would be using but not exactly where Kagumi was at that precise moment. "We've had a bit of a shock."

"I am quite uninterested in your problems, Griffins, I merely wish to know where I might find my tutoring partner."

"Snape, you spend a lot of time around her, nearly as much as I do. So use your brains and find her for yourself," Remus snapped irritably; she'd seen the way Kagumi and Snape acted towards each other, and it... annoyed her, even now.

"And who are you?" Snape asked.

Oh, right. He was a she now. Bugger, that complicated the normal plan of action.

"I'm a… um, I'm…"

"Are you a transfer student as well?" Snape took a step towards the girl, who jumped and hid behind Bridget. "I'm sure I would remember such a pretty face."

"Apparently you wouldn't, Snape," Bridget said brightly. "You already know Remus. He's just had a bit of an accident." She held out her hand to the shaken Gryffindor, and led her down the hall towards their new temporary residence. "Bye, Severus!"

As they rounded the corner, Bridget began to giggle.

"Bodmin Moor," Remus said, rather dazed once they reached their new rooms.

"You lot let James pick the password again, didn't you?" Jet asked between giggles.

"Nope. Sirius and Kagumi thought of this one." Remus looked green, even in the muted lamplight. "Jet, I think I feel sick."

As the two entered through the portrait, Kagumi leapt up from the couch, rubbing hands over Remus's goosefleshed arms. "Rem, are you all right? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"No, he's bloody well not all right!" Lily said. She'd reached the end of her rope five minutes ago and this was the first chance she'd had to explode. "We've been turned into males, and the boys have been turned into girls! How is that even remotely close to all right?"

"Other than that," Kagumi dismissed.

"I…I think…"

"God, I can't breathe." Bridget fell on the couch, laying her feet on Sirius's lap. She regarded Gumi with all due seriousness. "Gui, our dear," she stopped speaking with a frown. "I never came up with a name for you. Remus... that's hard. Um... Remy. I guess. You're now French and apparently from Rheims, Rem; I got nothing better for you." She sighed and closed her eyes, lacing her fingers behind her head. "Anyways, Snape was hitting on her-- him, whatever."

"What?" Gumi repeated, shocked.

"Snape. Hit. On. Remy. Apparently, he took a liking to our smallest one." She frowned. "I don't suppose that makes him bi, does it?"

"Poor thing, he must be traumatized!" Lily and Kagumi both threw pillows at James, who'd spoken. "Ow… what happened to that gender rule?"

"Doesn't apply."

Bridget lay in her bed long after everyone left for their separate rooms, wondering how long it would take for her to fall asleep. There was a creak as her door opened, and she sat up, gripping her wand. Even though it was Hogwarts, and she had the oddest sensation that she'd know if someone was coming to attack her, she still didn't like being caught unawares. Her hangings twitched open to reveal--

"Sirius?" Jet sighed, and stowed her wand under her pillow again. "Why is it you don't know how to knock?"

"Hi, Jet," Sirius said, looking small and meek for the first time since Bridget had met him…er, her.

"Is something wrong, love?"

"This whole thing has me really freaked out," she said, fiddling awkwardly with the hem of her shirt. "I was just wondering if we could talk for a... is that my shirt?"

Bridget glanced down and back up, blushing. "Um, maybe." Sirius's grin slowly grew, meekness all but disappearing. "Oh, shut up; it's big and comfortable." When Sirius didn't say anything, she crossed her arms over her chest. "One of them is James's as well, you know."

"One of?" Sirius's voice was triumphant. "How many have you stolen?"

"Um... I dunno." She sighed and scooted over in the bed. "Oh, nevermind. Just get in here already."

Sirius hopped into the bed. "I knew you'd be begging me into your bed eventually."

Bridget sighed. "One more comment and I will literally kick you out. You're lucky I'm tolerant of your comments. Other girls would've kneed you in a very uncomfortable place for some of the liberties you've taken."

Sirius grinned. She thought it was adorable that Bridget-- who hadn't even grown up in the old-fashioned Pureblood world-- used out-of-date words like 'liberties.' She was right, of course, but most girls would've also given in after the first attempt at flirting. "See, ma cherie, you do love me!"

Yes, that was the problem, Jet sighed to herself as she watched Sirius make herself more comfortable on the large bed. That was indeed a big problem.

Kagumi jerked from a light doze, hand reaching automatically under the pillow for the wand stashed there. Still frozen in place, she listened carefully in the silent night. There it was again: a little tapping sound, like a kitten left outside in the rain pawing at the door. It was soft, uncertain and terrified. Kagumi sat up and padded silently to the door, opening it and blinking owlishly in the bright wandlight.

"Remus?"

"Hey, Gumi," Remus's voice was soft; Kagumi looked at the clock over his shoulder; it read midnight.

"Are you okay?"

Determinedly not looking at the near-naked body clad only in boxers, Remus stared up at the almost-familiar face. "I'm fine."

"Do you… need something? I mean, you don't go knocking on people's doors at midnight for nothing, right?" When Remus paused uncertainly, Kagumi frowned. "Or maybe you do. What can I say, I've seen--"

"No, um, can I come in?" Kagumi shrugged and stepped back, sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the girl-- the boy dressed in sweat pants and a large T-shirt. One of hers, actually. Trying to ignore the jolt of raw possessiveness that shot thorugh her at seeing Remus dressed in her clothes, Kagumi focused on the face; on the furrowed golden brows, and the thick lashes that framed those mesmerizing eyes, and the way the teeth were absently chewing at the bottom lip… Shaking herself mentally, Kagumi closed her eyes.

Remus's small voice brought her back to reality. "Um, I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"

"Okay, shoot."

"It's kind of a big one. Really big. And it'd be fine if you said no. I'd be fine. I mean, it's nothing huge to me. I just can't…" Kagumi gentled her touch against Remus's overly-sensitive lips, and tried not to read anything into the sudden spark in the golden eyes at the casual touch.

She lifted her finger. "Spit it out, Rem."

"Can I sleep with you?" Kagumi coughed, and Remus flushed. "I'm sorry, that came out wrong. I… nevermind, I'm sorry."

"Remus, wait." Remus stopped at the doorframe, one hand on the handle. "Why did you want to, er, sleep in here with me?"

"It doesn't mat--" he cut himself off with a shaky breath. "Because I have never felt this vulnerable in my entire life, and you... you seem like you want to protect me." The answer sounded simple enough, but the underlying message was incredibly complex. And it was truthful, the sort of truth that resounded long after the words had faded. Kagumi sighed, getting back into bed.

"Get over here then." The small, apologetic smile Remus gave her was enough to make it worthwhile and he crawled in, beneath the blankets but on top of the sheet. With a contented sigh, the petite form curled into the warmth of the larger and melted into sleep with Kagumi's arm around his waist.

Giving into temptation, Kagumi pressed a soft kiss against Remus's lips, which were parted slightly as he slept, and whispered, "Goodnight, Remus."

It had been three days, and a bowing House Elf had finally appeared in the guest suite commons with a note from Dumbledore that simply said to come to the Transfiguration office. Energetic and hopeful for the first time since the Library, the group jostled its way through the crowds of younger students.

"Who is he?" one fourth year girl asked a friend, pointing at the redheaded boy in the middle of the group.

"I have no idea, but I'd like to know," said the friend jovially.

Their behavior-- everyone else seemed to be following suit-- was discouraged by the glare the black-headed boy directed at the girls and the slightest glimpse of bared teeth at the general group, warning them to even dare to come closer. As if they were of one mind, they shrunk away from the Gryffindors' path and the girls quickly found themselves backed against the hall's wall as the males of their class attempted to get away from the collective group.

"I can't take much more of this," Remus whispered; he could feel the appreciative stares. The others-- even including Bridget and Peter-- nodded their agreement.

Since the first night, he'd taken to sleeping next to Kagumi and waking feeling calmer than he felt the rest time. Sirius had kept to Bridget's room quite often as well, while James had pouted miserably-- and loudly-- about being left alone in the commons until Lily had said that if they were both so very lonely they could sleep together and Bridget would sleep with her.

The contemplative pause that had followed was enough to cause Lily to huff in a very feminine way and stalk off, dragging a bewildered Bridget behind her. James and Sirius didn't know why she was so upset; they were the ones stuck with the rather... interesting images the words had conjured up.

Finally, they reached the first floor and headed straight for the unassuming door that led to McGonagall's tartan decorated office. Upon opening the door, the group was startled to find only Professor McGonagall and no trace of Dumbledore.

"Well, do come in," she said, a twitch of her lips betraying the smile that had been lurking about her features in class and at meals, but quickly she assumed the proper stoic face of a professor of her stature. "I'm pleased to inform you that the calculations are as complete as they will likely ever be. We might have an answer for you."

Author's Note: There it is, DIN fans. We're so very sorry it took so long to get to you. See, we're having a few problems. I (Kagumi) just moved, so I'm still getting settled. And Jet, in addition to having limited access time to DIN or a computer, has started the new semester of University! Let's all cheer her through good grades.

Also, I have noticed that the new story, Per Vultas Vas, isn't getting much reader-love. It is up now, guys, and we'd like to get a bit of feedback on it, since most of the PVV chapters are already written and we can have them out faster than the DIN chaps.

Let me tell you a secret. *beckons everyone closer* Reviews make writers work faster. So if you want us to write faster, you have to review!

Next time, on DIN:

"You what?!"

"I think…I changed back."

"Sirius, you're in the girl's bathroom!"

"In a skirt, too," he shot back irritably. Jet's eyebrows shot up; she'd forgotten about that part of it.

"Well, how come he's changed back and we haven't?" Lily asked, desperation lacing her voice. James slung a casual arm around her, only to have it knocked off irritably. He shrugged, letting Lily pace. "What was he doing?"

"Lily, he was in a bathroom, what do you think his actions were?" Kagumi asked.

"Well, but…" There was a flash of light, but no sound. They all watched as the long red hair Lily has refused to cut began to curl at the ends. The waist, which had been lean but tiny, began to gracefully curve again. And Lily gasped, hands holding tightly to the chest of her shirt, as presumably her bosom regrew.

"Oh, God, that feels weird!" she said loudly. In a girl's voice. "I'm back? Oh, I'm back!"

"So…is there an order to this?" Remus demanded. "I mean, what's going on? Who's going next?"

"Um, Rem, remember my theory of volume disparity?" Jet asked. He nodded. "Seems like it's following that, so next should be --" Her statement was interrupted by another flash of light.