Disclaimer: Neither Kagumi nor Bridget own anything related to the Harry Potter series other than the stuff they've bought and the ideas they come up with. Original characters and most of the situations presented, however, they do own.

Author's Notes: Notes.

Chapter Nineteen: Normalcy is Overrated

"I am not strange; I am just not normal."

~Salvador Dali

They had settled into their new—temporary—roles as well as they probably ever would, even if everyone was still jumpy and uncomfortable. Bridget poked despondently at her eggs. She would never admit it to anyone, but she… she missed the boys; she hadn't been surrounded by this much estrogen since she'd attended her previous, all-girl high school, and it was just strange not having Sirius hit on her every few hours; instead, he seemed to be hitting on everyone else.

Then she became aware of the furious, muttering voices farther down the table. Bridget's head shot up and she snapped out of the tired daze she normally was in during the early hours. She followed Kagumi's gaze down to where James and Lily were arguing.

This was not going to end well.

"What are you talking about?" James hissed, voice finally raised enough for Bridget to hear the words, although it would still be difficult for the others in the Great Hall.

"You," Lily hissed back. "You and your stupid prejudices."

James sucked in a sharp breath and pushed himself back from the table, tripping over the still unfamiliar legs as he retreated out of the Great Hall. Gumi tugged at Bridget's sleeve, worried about James despite her best efforts.

"Jet," she whispered when the other girl didn't seem to notice, still staring at the door James had disappeared through. Bridget turned around and faced her; her brown eyes weren't focused on her, but inward, somewhere hidden in her complicated, somewhat frightening mind. "Jet, go."

"What?"

"James may be an idiot, but he's freaking out about something. You're the only one he'll talk to beside Sirius or Remus and, well," she glanced next to her where Remus was still curled up against her side and Sirius was flashing slow smiles at anyone who came near, "neither of them is in any shape for it."

Bridget frowned at Remus. "Right, what McGonagall said about that personality-augmenting side effect of the spell." Her concerned gaze turned to Kagumi. She'd already had to play mediator between her and others outside their group several times during the ordeal; thankfully, only one wrist had been broken, and it was clean enough that the nurse had been able to mend it in a second. "Don't send anyone to Pomfrey while I'm gone, okay?"

Kagumi sighed. "Fine. If they behave themselves."

"No. No ifs. Just don't do it." She didn't wait for a response. Instead, Bridget stood up, grabbed her backpack, and chased after James, ignoring the excited murmurings coming from the rest of the student body.

"James?" Bridget peered around the corner of the locker room, feeling awkward that she was even considering entering the boys' Quidditch locker room. "James, hon, are you okay?" There was no answer, but she was sure she'd seen him go in and, well, at this point, it wasn't like he had anything she didn't have herself. "I'm coming in!"

She took a deep, calming breath, and walked in the room with undue caution; it had been drilled into her subconscious that she should never go into a boy's bathroom alone with a boy. Of course, James wasn't physically a boy, but mentally nothing had changed. Bridget paused at the end of one of the rows and stopped.

James was sitting on the bench with his elbows on his knees, hands clasped so tightly that his knuckles were white, and his head was bent as he glared at the floor. It was a very masculine pose for someone who didn't look much like a man. "You shouldn't be in here," he said softly.

"Ah," Bridget ignored the rebuke, as weak as it was, and sat down next to him on the bench, "to be honest, neither should you."

He let his head drop in his hands, his shoulders dropping. After a moment's hesitation, she wrapped her arm around his shoulders; he was trembling. Bridget pulled his hands apart before he managed to bruise himself.

"I don't feel right," he muttered.

"Of course you don't. James, you're a girl. Hell, most girls don't feel right in their own bodies, I can't imagine how it'd be for someone who hasn't been told over and over how difficult it is to be female."

"No," he said. "I mean, yeah, that's weird, but I don't know how to… to act. I mean, that Slytherin was giving you problems and…" he trailed off helplessly.

"James," she said in a soft voice, trying not to laugh, "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, you know. Gumi and Lily as well."

"I know Gumi can, but…"

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "I need you to listen to me. I know you're being chivalrous and gentlemanly and what-not, but Lily and I are not helpless. She's held her own against you, hasn't she? And, well, I grew up with a bunch of boys. It was either I learn to handle things myself or I'd have to rely on my cousin to protect me. I preferred to handle things myself."

James gave her a skeptical look. After all, as far as he'd seen she did need their protection. She spent most of her time latched onto him or Sirius, depending on how she'd felt about Sirius that day, and she didn't seem nearly as experienced with… physically protecting herself as Kagumi was.

"Ah, disbelief." Bridget pulled her hands back from him, folding them in her lap as she shrank into a position that seemed to prove her vulnerability. She squared her shoulders. "Love, this needs to stay between us."

"What?"

"I'm… I'm going to tell you something that no one here knows, not even Gumi, and I don't want them to know about it."

James straightened up, frowning. She was being serious, a short-lived rarity from the girl, and… she was focused, which was just weird. It was really weird. He nodded

"All right, James, um, you see, I spend a lot of time outside, and I live near the beach so I used to spend evening sitting there, after everyone would leave for the day when it was nice and quiet and breezy. My family's loud; I liked being able to sit and think or read or whatever in peace.

"But, when Gumi first started coming to Hawaii-- we were young, third years, maybe-- she started taking walks and I'd tag along. She's like that when she thinks she can get away with it-- real quiet, reflecting. You know, when she feels like she doesn't have to protect someone."

She waited for him to roll his eyes or say something sarcastic about the other girl, but it never came, so she continued talking in a quiet voice.

"One day, when we were walking Kagumi got really tense, the kind that she gets when she thinks something's wrong, and she told me that someone was following us. At first, it seemed a little coincidental. I went to school with him for a couple years in elementary school and we'd talked at a party once. But... he seemed to think that there was some sort of... fated connection between us."

"Sounds like he needed a fated connection with someone's fist," James muttered darkly. "I volunteer."

"Thanks. No need. Anyways, he just... he showed up everywhere. I mean, our schools are pretty tight, and I do a lot of the events because I'm in student government, but it was just getting insanely coincidental. I... refused to tell anyone. He wasn't hurting me; he was just being... persistent, I thought." James winced at her choice of words; she usually defended him as "just persistent" too.

"But, my cousin Jack was on leave and he, well, he knows me well enough that he figured out that something was wrong. He and Wyatt—his friend from the Academy—got me to tell them what was wrong and…" She shook her head, smiling to herself. "They did something... not very nice to him."

"Jet, love, if you're trying to prove that you can take care of yourself, you're failing miserably."

Bridget raised an eyebrow at him, seemingly amused by his concerned anger. "Will you let me finish?" He stared back at her, still frowning, but she took that as acceptance. "Anyways, after that they'd go with me everywhere-- Jack or Wyatt whoever Jack could drum up, usually my other cousin Kawika-- and he didn't show up once, at least not that I could see. But, I was stubborn and I still would go on my own, usually when I didn't want to talk to anyone."

"Bridget," James started in a concerned voice. He raised his hands to his face, rubbing at his eyes. "Even I can tell this isn't going to end well."

"Just listen. I'm almost done. I was walking back after I'd been there for an hour or so, it was already dark and..." her voice caught uncomfortably in her throat, "he was standing there like he'd been waiting for me. He was pleading, full of sweet promises and rushed words and..."

"Lots of crazy?" James offered in a stiff voice.

"Yeah, that's one way to put it. It was creepy, so I just told him that... it was nice of him and I tried to walk away, but he didn't like that. He didn't take that well and he grabbed me by my arm," she rubbed at the middle of her forearm, wincing, "and pulled me against him. He was furious that I was refusing to see what was 'obvious' and 'right in front of me.' He was even more furious about Jack and Wyatt and how they would intercept him and I had no right to defy what was meant to be.

"He-- he was bigger than me and he'd caught me by surprise, it was such a change in personality." Her voice softened. "He threw me onto the sand and... and dropped on top of me, pulling up my shirt and--"

"I'm going to kill him," he said in a cold, level voice. "I don't care how much he got punished or if you think it was justice; I will destroy him."

Bridget stopped talking, regarding the boy with an almost detached expression. "Now you know what it's like, don't you?" she asked in a soft voice. "That need to kill, the drive to protect at any and all costs. Remember that when you talk to Gumi next; she only has the best of intentions."

"I—yes, I'll remember."

"It didn't get much farther. I kicked at him and something hit so he let go long enough for me to grab a handful of sand and throw it in his face. He choked on it and I was able to push him off, but he still tried to grab me. I kicked him in the face and when I got up, I kicked him in the stomach. I probably would've done it again, but... I couldn't let myself lose it; I would've killed him. Instead, I reported it. My dad's chief of police; you don't mess with the police chief's daughter and expect to get away with it. It's ridiculously stupid."

"Police chief?"

"Uh, your dad is Head Auror, right?" James nodded. "It's similar to that. He ran law enforcement in Hawaii, but he was a detective before that, like an Auror, and he was good." She hesitated. "Dad didn't know about the guy; I'm still surprised Jack didn't tell him."

James looked at her, hazel eyes hard in the dim light. "I want his name, Jet."

"He's dead," she said in an even voice. "It's just stupid to mess with the only girl in a huge, well-liked local family. He'd lost everything he had, so he killed himself. Jack and Wyatt… may have had something to do with it, but I really don't want to know."

"Good for them," James swore viciously. He took her hands in his, holding them tightly as though he needed to comfort her; she had a feeling that it helped him more than her, but that didn't mean she didn't appreciate it.

"He'd underestimated how utterly pissed I could get and what I was willing to do once he'd backed me into a corner, or threatened the people I care about. I'm worse than Kagumi when I'm that far gone." Her eyes were cold, but aware as she looked at James, and it was strangely comforting; to know that she could disconnect from the almost naïve happiness she was known for long enough to care for herself. "I can take care of myself, James."

"I believe you," he said softly.

He liked to know that he didn't have to watch out for her all the time (not that he'd really stop), but James was still relieved when she broke out in her familiar, bright smile. "Okay. Let's go apologize to Gumi."

Wait. What?

Kagumi watched, slightly in awe, as Bridget cheerfully dragged James in the room behind her. James was putting up quite the fight—dragging his feet and trying to walk in the opposite direction—but Bridget was having none of it. She promptly strode up and deposited James in front of the couch Kagumi, Remus, and Sirius were sitting on.

After a moment of astonished silence, Bridget frowned and poked at James's shoulder. "Go on."

"I don't want to," he pouted, refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

"Yes you do, silly," she replied easily, rolling her eyes. "You're just being stubborn and male. Right now you're a chick, so it's okay to be sensitive and the like, if that makes you feel any better. Come on, love."

James gave her a pleading look, but Bridget stared stoically back. Kagumi was finding this whole exchange terribly amusing. Eventually, James sighed and gave up. "Fine. I'm sorry, Pheonix."

Silence. Complete and utter silence. James didn't apologize to anyone. Ever. (Except for maybe the Marauders, but that was only done in private, so there was no proof.)

"What?" Gumi was dumbstruck, and she looked at the two boys nestled against her sides, who both shrugged simultaneously.

"I," James took a deep breath as if the words hurt him to say, "I apologize for what I said to you; you were only trying to help and you… may have had some good points."

"Yay!" Bridget briefly threw her arms around his neck. "I'm proud of you, Jamie. You're learning to be a real human being." She turned her level gaze to Kagumi. "Gumi?"

"What?"

"Now, what do you say?"

"Oh, um, you're forgiven?" She was having a hard time wrapping her mind around this shocking turn of events.

Bridget raised a single eyebrow. "And?"

Kagumi blinked back. "And what?"

"James doesn't hold all of the blame in this situation," she said flatly.

"I know," she said, rising off of the couch. Hands in pockets, she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry too, Potter. I was out of line, for saying what I did, even if I did mean every word. It wasn't my place to say, but I did and now we know where we stand," she finished, looking determinedly past him.

"That being said," James said uncertainly, "can we maybe go back to just James and Gumi?"

"What, you don't like being called Potter?" Gumi teased, rubbing her knuckles across his head.

"Not particularly; it usually means I'm in trouble," James said. He twisted away from the offending hand with a scowl.

"But, James," Sirius smirked, "you were."

Bridget sighed irritably, sitting on the floor outside of the bathrooms in a way that McGonagall would probably frown at. It would be much easier to do this if they wouldn't all wait until they really had to use the toilet. It took forever this way.

She tilted her head towards the door. Sirius had said something, but it sounded all garbled. "You what?" she shouted through the door.

"I," he raised his voice, "I think… I changed back."

Wait… his voice. But… "Sirius, you're in the girl's bathroom!"

"In a skirt, too," he shot back irritably. Jet's eyebrows shot up and she suppressed the reflexive snicker; she'd forgotten about that.

"Transfigure them into trousers, then," she replied, trying not to give into the need to laugh.

"Oh. Right." Even through the door, he sounded sheepish.

"Why did he changed back and we haven't?" Lily asked, desperation lacing her voice. James slung a casual arm around her, only to have it knocked off irritably. He shrugged, letting Lily pace. "What was he doing?"

"Lily, he was in a bathroom, what do you think his actions were?" Kagumi asked.

"Well, but…"

Her voice cut off, choking itself in her throat and they saw her clutch her stomach before there was a blinding flash of light. It took only a moment, but time seemed to slow down as they looked on. Lily got shorter as her hips widened and her already lean waist thinned even more, broad shoulders sloping into a slimmer, more petite version. Lily stood there, panting slightly, one hand clutching her shirt closer and the other holding up the now too-large pants.

"Oh, God, that feels weird!" she said loudly. "I'm back? Oh, I'm back!"

Bridget frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. "Well," she said. "That was rather strange. I have a feeling strange happens a lot around you folk."

"Normalcy is overrated," Sirius muttered through the door.

"So… is there an order to this?" Remus demanded. "I mean, what's going on? Who's going next?"

"Um, Rem, remember my theory of volume disparity?" Jet asked. He nodded. "Seems like I was right, so next should be --" Her statement was interrupted by another flash of light.

James let out a high-pitched yelp. In a split second, he grew about six inches (making his skirt go from beyond his knees to almost indecent) and his hair shortened back to the unmanageable length it was before the incident. He finally filled out his shirt properly, no longer looking like one of those girls who stole her boyfriend's shirts.

"That hurt," he muttered in the same, familiar low baritone they were used to.

"Ah, well," Bridget said, lips twitching up, "I imagine it's like a really fast growth spurt. You'll be fine. Although, I suspect you'd be better if you could put some pants on before someone takes out a camera."

"Oh." James glanced down at his legs. "Oh, right." He waved a hand absently, not even bothering to take out his wand, and the skirt lengthened and knit itself back together into trousers. He looked horrified for a moment and he pulled the waistband of his pants out so he could look down while everyone else watched, amused. "Oh, thank God."

Jet and Lily burst out laughing.

"They're back to normal," Griffins announced cheerfully, setting her books down at the table they were sitting at without waiting for an invitation to join them. Severus merely raised an eyebrow, but when he looked at Regulus, the other Slytherin had made space for the girl and was wearing a strangely fond smirk on his face; it was an expression he was all too familiar with.

"Oh, really?" he murmured. "By normal, I assume you mean that my brother no longer looks like my mother?"

"Yes," she replied cheerfully, either not noticing or not caring about the sarcasm. "It's very nice to have them all back as they should be."

"I suppose it would be," Regulus said in that same amused voice. Severus didn't know what was wrong with him, but he suspected it was very much like what Pheonix had done with him. "For you."

"Oh, admit it, Reg," Reg? "You know that having someone who looked exactly like your mother walking around campus has been hell on your nerves."

"I know no such thing."

"Hm… right. I'll let you think that." She straightened up suddenly. "Anyways, I am here for another purpose."

"Oh, is there something on your mind besides my brother's return to malehood?" Regulus drawled. "That is surprising."

"Yes, shut up. I'm not here to talk to you," she ignored the mock knife-in-the-heart gesture, "Severus and I have to discuss tutoring."

"I do not believe I gave you permission to call me by my given name."

Griffins seemed unaffected by his most potent glare, something Severus did not hold in high esteem. "That's too bad. I only really use surnames when I'm upset with someone. Would you like me to be upset with you?"

Her tone was sweet, as Severus was used to, but there was steel behind it that reminded him of Pheonix. "Use what you wish. It's of no consequence to me."

"Good." She beamed at him.

"You don't need tutoring," he finally said, looking back at his work. "Your Potions work is fine."

"Really?"

"Severus wouldn't say it if it wasn't true," Regulus added. Severus resisted the urge to glare at him. "You must be quite good."

"Great, but I'm afraid I still need to have at least one period, otherwise McGonagall will scold me."

Finally, Severus looked up, finding himself somewhat amused despite his best intentions; he wondered when his cold demeanor had stopped deflecting people away from him. "And you fear Professor McGonagall?"

"Oh, yes." Griffins nodded. "I fear her punishments down to my very bones. She's quite intimidating, don't you think?"

"Quite." Severus nodded. "Very well, then. Is Thursday after next suitable? After supper, perhaps?"

"Yes. It is. Thanks."

"Bridget?" a familiar voice called in an unusually soft voice. The girl's face lit up as Black emerged from the front, looking uncomfortable among all the books. He froze when he caught sight of Severus and Regulus, a flash of the familiar anger in his eyes before, bizarrely, he suppressed it. "Oh," he said in a careful, restrained voice. "Snape. Hello, Reg."

"Hello, Sirius."

Severus stopped glaring at Black long enough to give Regulus a slightly surprised look (although the Gryffindors wouldn't recognize it for what it was). They were talking now? Regulus shrugged in silent response.

"Sirius! I can carry my own books quite well, thank you," Griffins scolded as Black gathered her books up in one arm.

"You know very well that you cannot," Black replied shortly. He sounded more like a pureblood than he had in years. He made a shooing motion with his free hand. "Yesterday you nearly walked into a wall. Say good-bye to your little friends so we can leave."

This was… interesting. Black was doting on the Griffins girl; the Hogwarts rumor mill had him with Pheonix and Potter with Griffins. Severus, of course, being who he was, knew better. Her views on all of the Gryffindor boys had come up at least once in their tutoring sessions, of which didn't resemble tutoring so much as him finding something else to be amused with and the two of them continually avoiding the work. Truth told, he found that she was a relatively even match and they'd covered most of the basic syllabus he'd drawn up already. Nevertheless, this was still an unexpected twist of events.

"Don't be cruel," she admonished. Griffins sighed, but smiled at Regulus and Severus. "Good-bye."

"Good-bye, Bridget," Regulus replied, still looking terribly amused. Severus nodded.

Griffins stood and Black wrapped an arm around her waist as if it were natural, relaxing instantly. She smiled fondly up at him and Severus was sure, as they left, that he'd heard her say. "I've sort of missed your chivalrous idiocy, you know."

Gryffindors really are strange.

"Faster, Pheonix!" James yelled loudly, throwing a Quaffle right by her head. "Keep up with Black!"

"I'm trying, you damned dolt," she shouted right back, urging her broom faster. Finally she caught up with her partner, throwing him a dirty look before swinging her bat hard enough to knock the incoming Bludger away from the Seeker they were tailing.

The strain of playing (or in this case, practicing) school-quality Quidditch was a far cry from the easy-going pick-up games of summer. This time, people were really counting on her, scores mattered and the game didn't stop for an injury short of death-defying. Using Marauder code, she signaled a roundabout of the field to Sirius, who was next to her. Simultaneously, they peeled off in different directions before merging back into an Intersecting Descent to re-synchronize their movements.

The practice had been going well, even if the new Seeker was bit of a twit. In Bridget's humble opinion, the only reason she was on the team was because she'd played Muggle sports as a kid (she was obviously Muggleborn) and because she could fly well enough. In the brains department, she lacked enough to make planning strategies and plays obnoxiously difficult. It was too painful to watch.

To be honest, she wanted Regulus out there with her, since he was the only person outside of the Marauders' who'd been worth the time to talk to, but he was on an opposing team, and neither Kagumi, Sirius nor James had relented on his "spying." And they were probably right about it; he was a Slytherin after all. He wouldn't have been able to copy much of James's methods; Bridget had helped fine tune some of the plays, and most weren't even remotely possible without someone of his talent as a Chaser and Kagumi and Sirius working in tandem as Beaters.

So Bridget was stuck doing a History essay with no one to talk to aside from Remus (who was focused almost single-mindedly on the practice, and muttering amusing things underneath his breath) or Peter (who seemed hopelessly lost). She wondered if it would be too much effort to convince Lily to come with her for the next practice. Eventually, she sighed, closed her book, and turned to Peter.

Having finally caught up with his homework and mostly confident with his studies, he was now trying to understand the Quidditch plays and drills James had developed. Unfortunately, James and Sirius were rather genius and their sketches could be a bit… indecipherable to the uninitiated.

"I said a Double Twist Turn, Hamilton!" James bellowed above them, causing the Seeker to nearly fall off her broom; he looked very much the part of a wrathful, displeased god. "You pull another Swing Left Pull and I will replace you!"

Of course, perhaps that was for the best. The initiated were often shouted at.

They stared after the distraught girl.

"Well," Remus said, "that was interesting."

"I didn't do anything," Bridget continued in stunned disbelief. "Did I do something? I don't remember even talking to her before."

They continued staring after the short, bad tempered Seeker, who was throwing her gloves and uniform back into the locker, slamming it shut and storming out, still raving.

"She wasn't…" Peter trailed off uncertainly, "that upset."

Remus and Bridget, simultaneously, turned their incredulous looks at the blushing boy. He shrugged.

"She was swearing at me in Spanish," Bridget deadpanned. "Spanish swear words, I know. La chica estaba muy enojada. Muy enojada."

"Sí," Remus added, nodding.

"GRIFFINS!"

Bridget spun around in time for James to fall to his knees at her feet and wrap his arms tightly around her middle. She patted him awkwardly on his messy hair and sent inquiring looks at the exhausted Kagumi and Sirius. Kagumi shrugged, occupied with picking the twigs from her hair gained after a rather spectacular crash and chase for a Bludger who'd managed to find the only weak spot in the Anti-Escape Wards surrounding the Pitch, and Sirius was too busy falling asleep on his feet to notice; there was no help there.

"Um… hello, James. Is there a reason you're… clinging to me?" James looked soulfully into her eyes, using all of his (rather considerable) charm.

"Bridget Ashlyne, love of my life." She gave him a disbelieving look. This was getting interesting. "You are the fire under my cauldron, the ink to my quill, the wings on my snitch, the wax on my—"

"Don't finish that one," she interrupted, "not unless you want Sirius to kill you."

Sirius looked up at his name. "What?"

"James is propositioning me," Bridget said brightly. James's grip on her waist tightened, as if he was willing to use her as a human shield if Sirius showed signs of homicidal intent; the action only amused her more.

"Ah." He blinked tiredly, adjusting how he was leaning on Remus, who seemed uncomfortable when Kagumi joined the canine pile by leaning on his other side; Kagumi and Sirius eventually edged Remus out, leaving only the two semi-coherent Beaters supporting each other. "Okay. I'll hurt him later. After food." He yawned. "And sleep."

She sighed, rolling her eyes, and smirked down at James again. "What do you want, my little—what was it? Oh, right!— my little quill?"

"I need you to save my life."

"Right…" She arched an eyebrow. "Do you need an organ? Because I'm afraid I'm rather fond of my organs."

"No," James replied, hazel eyes wide and earnest like a small child asking for a biscuit. "It's more important than my health. I need you to replace Hamilton."

"What?"

Well, at least that explained the girl's sudden hatred of all things Griffins.

"I will love you forever," he said, sounding like he really meant it.

Sirius made a small growl of protest. "Prongs…"

"I will love you platonically forever," he corrected hastily. "I am unwaveringly and unfalteringly devoted to Evans. Lily, I mean. I really like Lily."

"Right."

"You mean you'll do it?" James asked, the joy and gratitude on his face dying when she shook her head.

"Well, no." She smiled apologetically. "I'm not insane enough to subject myself to your special form of torture." ("I promise to be nice.") "Also, schoolwork."

James looked like he was going to cry. There was something inherently wrong (and sadly familiar) about seeing an almost-grown man about to cry over a sport.

"But," she continued in a reluctant voice, "I suppose I'll be willing to step in if Hamilton is unable to play."

With a gleeful squeal he'd never admit to later, James got to his feet and, after giving her a quick hug, started skipping to the castle.

Yes, skipping. It was a sad, pathetic sight.

"You do realize," Remus said slowly after a minute, "that you didn't specify the terms in which Hamilton would leave."

Oh, crap. "James!" she shouted, shouldering her bag and jogging after him. "You are not allowed to hurt or bully her into quitting! James! James Nathaniel! Don't you dare ignore me!"

Kagumi sat in one of the squashy couches she was so fond of, an open Runes book in her lap and the beginning of a very nice essay on the multiple meanings of The Runes of the Kylver Stone. A half-awake Sirius was nestled against her side and she was idly petting his hair as she read over her homework. It was a scene that had become commonplace since the girls' arrival.

Travis Adams, a fellow seventh year who'd taken a special interest in the new students, sat on the other side of the Common Room. The boy had found their acceptance into the notoriously exclusive group beyond confusing and he just hadn't let up. He'd made her none too happy since her Sorting, not to mention how he'd continually managed to provoke Sirius and Remus's tempers with his obnoxiousness.

It was only her good reflexes that kept her from jumping as she felt Adams's hand reach downwards and flip the book out of her lap. She scowled as the inkwell narrowly missed her half-completed essay.

"You need something, Adams, or are you just being stupid again?" she asked in a bored voice. "If you mess up my essay I will hex you until there is nothing left except a pile of skin."

"I want to talk to you," the boy said, rather unwisely.

Since the gender-reversal debacle last week, he'd been eying the way Jet, Gumi and the Marauders interacted, and had even been taking notes before James noticed them and calmly burned the parchment to an impressive pile of ash. Gumi stared into his mud-brown eyes and felt the beginning descent of a cold anger settling low in her chest.

"So talk," she shifted and felt Sirius rumble in his throat; even half asleep, he recognized enough of her body language to feel her muscles tense dangerously.

"Not here," he said, glancing down at Sirius, who'd bared his teeth without opening his eyes. "Near the table by the portrait hole."

Kagumi gave him a look, but he merely stared back. Finally, she sighed and extracted herself from Sirius's grip (he seemed quite reluctant to let his pillow go). Once by the portrait hole, she crossed her arms and glared at the tall boy.

"Now what?" she snapped, having been lured from her comfortable position. "I have homework to finish and Remus is occupied with something in the Library, Jet is nowhere to be found and James is off plotting something with Peter. Now if you'll --"

"Are you and Black dating?" he asked bluntly. Kagumi blinked once; it was a test of willpower not to laugh in his face.

"Of course not. We're just good friends." Adams took the blush on her cheeks to mean something else, and nodded triumphantly. His expression was clearly disbelieving and Kagumi raised her head.

"Oy, Black!" Sirius raised a tousled head and looked tiredly over the back of the couch.

"What?" he said, grumpy about being woken up.

"Are we dating and you just forgot to inform me?"

Her expression told him to play along, but he was too tired for games tonight. The never-ending attempts to woo Bridget had left him feeling mentally exhausted and the usual twice a day, ridiculously tiring Quidditch practice from earlier had his body catching up quickly; he was sorely resentful that he hadn't tried the coffee Gumi had had the Kitchen Elves prepare.

"No. Who wants to know?"

Kagumi jerked her head back at Adams, and Sirius scoffed lightly. Show him, Sirius's hands suggested as he rolled over the back of the couch with an easy, practiced sort of grace.

How so? she asked back. Sirius shrugged.

"Name your proof, Adams, and leave me be before I decide to practice dueling with you instead of Snape."

"I'll make you a bet, Pheonix. You prove to my satisfaction that you and Black aren't dating, and I'll get off your back." Adams's face was leering at her. "On the condition that you let Black chose how you do it."

"Deal. Ten to one odds. I'll lay down ten Sickles right now, if you can guarantee that you've got the 100 available." His nod was jerky, but seemed true, and Kagumi beckoned Sirius over. Grumbling, he walked over to the gathering knot of students; situations like this with the Marauders involved had always, thus far, proved to be amusing at the very least, even if they could be slightly destructive. "Siri, love, how should I prove to this bloody idiot that we're not dating?"

"Well..." Sirius drawled, "you could always snog the next guy through the portrait hole..."

"Hm. Would that be to your satisfaction, Adams? If I snog the next available guy close to my age through that entrance?" Adams's eyes were wide, but he nodded. Businesslike, Kagumi clapped her hands together. "Settled." She took out a small bag and upended the ten silver coins on the table, before settling herself on the arm of the couch she and Sirius had been sharing.

Cordan slapped Raminus none too gently to wake him. "Ram, get up!"

"What do you want, you bloody basta --" Cor shoved the Mirror beneath his nose, and Ram's eyebrows flew upwards. "What the hell?"

"Your little plan paid off; Sirius and James have been continuing your less than noble work," Cordan said, eyes twinkling. "Sirius just contacted your current project and told him to get to the Common Room."

"What have I done?" Raminus asked, one hand settled over his mouth in amused horror.

"Created an amusing monstrosity known as matchmaking. Especially considering who is attempting the matchmaking."

"This…is going to be interesting."

"This project is always interesting. Do you think she'll hold to the bet?" Cordan asked; Raminus snorted.

"Of course she will. Kagumi always holds to her bets," Raminus said, digging in his pocket; Cordan already had notes on the table. "That girl's pride could power an entire city for a day if we could figure out how to convert it. Her dignity won't let her do anything else, even when she sees who walks through."

"Bet you five Galleons she won't," Cordan said, right as Raminus said, "Bet you five Galleons she'll do it." With one quick handshake, they settled in to watch the fiasco unfold.

Bridget wandered downstairs, muttering about the History book she'd managed to misplace sometime in the last hour, just in time to see Sirius digging in his bag for something. The sight, as a whole, was rather distracting (she found the sight of Sirius in tight trousers distracting at any rate), but she noticed that, oddly, he was pulling out something silver. Then she saw Kagumi perched on a couch arm near the portrait hole, looking unusually anxious and it became obvious that something was going on.

And that Ram and Cor were in on this; there were so many ways something could go wrong. More girls poured through the portrait hole and Kagumi never noticed Sirius speaking into a small, handheld mirror. Jet noticed, though. And just as she was about to call Sirius on whatever he was doing, the portrait swung open to reveal...

"Oh, bollocks," Gumi sighed. Now I know that somebody somewhere is involved in a matchmaking attempt, and I don't like one bit! Standing just inside the door, looking very confused at the onslaught of giggles his arrival had caused, was none other than Remus Lupin. All right, I might like it… a very tiny bit.

Resigning herself, Kagumi walked over and slid an arm around his waist. Jet's eyebrows shot up; this was unexpected, to say the least.

"Don't ask questions," she warned before slamming her lips into his.

Several hoots went up as Remus, now extremely, if pleasantly, confused, wrapped an arm around her waist and closed his eyes, not complaining at all when the tip of her tongue visibly traced his bottom lip. The two stood that way, giving and taking from each other, neither moving overly much, for a good solid minute. Sirius developed a contagious, if loud, case of the chuckles as Kagumi broke away.

Without a backwards glance, she tossed a wink at Adams, who was staring dumbfounded at the slightly-glaze-eyed Lupin, and swung herself onto the stairs to the girls' dormitories, completely ignoring Bridget's shocked, if amused look.

She warded the curtains to her bed before her friend could follow her up, and, clutching a pillow close to her still-fluttering heart, let herself give in to the unusually girlish giggles.

I just snogged Remus Lupin; I am Kagumi Pheonix and I just snogged Remus Lupin! She laughed as she imagined the conversations going on in the Common Room. They probably wouldn't be as much fun, since James had firmly been told to go to the Head Boy Dorms ("That's what they're there for, Potter, you can't just sleep in the other dorms for no reason," McGonagall had said, running short of patience.) and to take Lily with him. But the discussion would still have its merit of humor.

Remus watched Kagumi's hips sway as she went up the stairs and numbly made his way over to Sirius, who was still laughing; he seemed at a loss for words as he sat on the couch, one hand rubbing his bottom lip. It still tingled. "Padfoot..."

"Yes, Moony?"

"What the hell just happened?"

Ending Author's Notes: Okay guys, it's finally out. And in time (here's it's 3:17 am) for everyone to get the notice in their inboxes for the morning! We finally got a Remus/Kagumi kiss, a little more Ram and Cor, some Quidditch and best off, everyone is back to normal! Yay! Don't forget to review and show us your love or non-love.

Whew, that was exhausting to write. Having everyone be so…odd. OH. A tidbit you might need: McGonagall described the spell-gone-awry as not only affecting their genders and chromosomes, but also their hormones. So Sirius, who, before the girls dropped into his life, was somewhat of a playboy, revels in the new sexuality. James becomes more drawn, something he never shows and he hates having it shown against his will, Gumi is already violent and temperamental so that is amplified, and Remus, while being usually level-headed, is used to knowing what's going on; when he doesn't, it sort of freaks him out a bit. So the freak out is what is being amplified. Just to clarify.

Also, the Spanish, for those of you who might not know what's going on, says, essentially, "She is very angry. Very angry."

So…Anybody ready for the next chapter?

Next Time, in Distinctus Inter Nos:

"Cordan…" Raminus trailed off, looking intently at the other Mirror, the one that showed the world the girls had left. "You should see this, mate."

"No, really, she should not know what that is. It's… how does she know that?"

He stopped talking as he realized that Raminus wasn't paying attention to his rant, and followed his friend's gaze to the Mirror. A somber-looking young man had arrived at the Griffins' family home, clutching a blue and white cap. He knocked at the door and when Mrs. Griffins opened the door, the young man paused before saying something obviously upsetting; the woman sagged heavily on the doorframe before turning and, presumably, calling her husband to the door.

"What does that mean?" Cordan asked, his worries about Bridget and her secret knowledge of male activities disappearing in the light of this new going-ons.

"I think it could be problematic," Raminus answered somberly.