Sonya: SHIT, WHERE'S THE DELETE BUTTON?

Greed: I DON'T KNOW!

Ace: *randomly sits up* HEY, LOOK, REVIEWS!

Kayla: Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhh! Hey, Ed, look, EternalHypernova says I need to rape you!

Ed: WHAT? *steals review* GAH! Uh... I don't really know what to say to the whole 'love' thing, especially with how she's turning the now-worked-upon chapter 12.

Ace: Yeah! Since no one helped me, I decided it was time for random stupidity!

Lela: And yes, we are all keeping secrets, but I think mine's probably the worst, which we get into right after chapter 12.

Greed: *pales upon reading review* Maybe I shouldn't have made the offer...

Sonya: Hey, looks like we scared Witty Tennis Girl off... Mission accomplished! *high-fives Greed and Envy*

Envy: Right, time to top that! Furorensu-Chan, I regret to inform you that I am not a woman or gay. I just like going into completely unnessicary planning and foreplay before I scar people for life. And I can totally say stuff like that because I am a jackass.

Ace: Ain't that the truth.

Greed: And maybe I should've gotten Mustang's approval before I made the offer... OH WELL, NOT LIKE I CARE!

Kayla: Hey, look, it's DarkVampirePrincess8! And she thinks its coolio how I can be a wolf!

Ed: Well, you do look pretty cute like that...

Envy: I DENY WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT WITH THE SWEETHEART CRAP! I WAS ONLY DOING IT FOR MY OWN BENEFIT!

Lela: Uh huh! My master beats me! He's not sweet (yet)!

Sonya: And sadly, as you can see, we could not find the delete button to delete all these reviews for Ace.

Kayla: HEY ED! SHE SAYS I CAN RAPE YOU TOO!

Ed: I DENY EVERYTHING! *runs away*

Kayla: Oh yeah, Sonya, about that delete button...

Sonya: Yeah? *angry eyes*

Kayla: I kinda ate it.

Sonya: WHAT THE-! COME HERE, YOU!

Kayla: *runs behind Ed* Don't let her hurt me!

Ace: SONYA, DISCLAIMER, NOW!

Sonya: Fine. Ace5980 does not own FullMetal Alchemist. Now, please enjoy this chapter whilst I murder my sister.

11: Running Away From Fate

Sonya normally did not think of herself as evil. She did not normally think being a chimera was a curse. Of course, all those restrictions flew right out the window when she saw the dried fake blood, Greed's blood, on her lips. "Lela was right all along," she murmured, her tongue sneaking out to clean herself off, "Project Avenging Angel was a failure after all."

Kayla panicked. She couldn't help it. Edward seeing her like that, when she was no more than an over-glorified, alchemized beast, was something she'd rather die than let happen. So she darted away before he could catch her, running away before he could even gather himself up enough to react.

She did, however, come back later, when he was asleep. Tail drooping, eyes averted in shame and sadness, she crept into his room and gently ran a paw over his face, pushing his golden hair back. Sorry Edward, she thought guiltily, but I can't let you be another casualty of Project Ark Angel. Gently, with all the care she could muster, she pulled the blanket up around his sleeping body with her teeth and gazed at him again for a long moment before she left once more, unwilling for Al to find out the truth about her as well.

For some reason, Lela was thinking more often about her various sins. Actually, she had only one word to sum up all of them, and that word was deceit. She wasn't a compulsive liar or anything, but she was guilty of a lot of lies to people who deserved the truth. Kayla. Sonya. Government officials. Homunculi. Homunculi disguised as government officials. All people she'd lied to. She'd even lied to her master, Envy, though not nearly as often as she could've or should've.

It all came down to Equivelent Exchange. Ha! Equivalence! The notion that any of the "trades" she'd made in her lifetime were made in equal exchange was enough to make her want to laugh. Now, did she believe you had to give something to get something? Yes, she did, but the return was always less than what she'd given and never necessarily what she'd wanted or made the original bargain for. The Law of Equivelent Exchange wasn't exactly a law in Lela's eyes, per se, but more of a healthy guideline to follow. After all, why else would she have knowingly completed Project Ark Angel and enabled Project Avenging Angel?

Kayla ran and ran and didn't stop running until she had reached her safe haven deep inside Central. She nosed open the large metal door to reveal a small room made mostly of metal. There was a large pillow dog-bed serving as the main effect other than two cruel dog bowls with some rusty old water and a moldy scrap of food them amid the liberal coating of dust and a thread-bare teddy bear missing an arm lying haphazardly on the floor as though it had fallen from where it had been set down years ago. In fact, that was the case; Kayla had not been here in four long years.

She padded over to the pillow, grabbing the bear gently between her teeth so as not to destroy it further as she went and not noticing when her tail brushed up against one of the bowls, revealing the thin beginnings of a Ka scratched onto the metal. She plopped down heavily on the pillow, evicting thousands of dust particles from their homes and into the air around her before she sneezed violently. Eyes watering slightly, she pressed her nose to the scrap of red fabric tied around her front right ankle and inhaled its comforting scent. Her eyes slid shut in slight contentment.

A metallic clamor, however, caused those yellow orbs to jolt open, and she growled low in her throat. Her paws shifted underneath her, readying her to pounce upon… two unfamiliar suits of armor, soul-bound, who were not Al. "Are you an Ark Angel?" the taller one asked, holding back the fatter one, who was screaming something about wanting to cut her up. She nodded though, keeping her eyes firmly on the cutting-up suit of armor. She had heard enough of the various other experiments that had been performed here that she had a healthy respect for what could end up being done to her by that suit of armor if she let her guard down too much. "I am Number 48, the Slicer, and this is Number 66, Barry the Chopper. We were assigned to guard this place after it was abandoned, but I don't think you're any threat to us." He paused for a moment, studying her. "You wouldn't happen to be Kayla Animalia, now would you?" he asked unexpectedly.

Lela had not brought her up to lie, even in wolf form. She nodded, gesturing towards the bowls with her muzzle. The armor didn't spare them a passing glance, instead approaching her. "Oh good. I was told that if the wolf girl, Kayla Animalia, ever returned to this place, I was to give her one final injection she missed." Her eyes widened, and she backed up slightly before he grabbed her tightly, holding her still. She yelped loudly as the needle punctured her skin, struggling as the plunger went flush with the syringe. As her limbs began moving more sluggishly, as if through water or syrup rather than air, she slumped to ground on the pillow, blacking out with her nose against the red fabric, inhaling its scent, the scent of Edward Elric.

"Come on, Lela. We're leaving."

She looked up at her master, her collar jangling. "Where are we going?" she asked quietly, getting up and brushing off her skort. The girl shrunk under his gaze, her tail and ears pressing close to her. "Unless, of course, it's something I don't need to know," she murmured submissively, lowering her eyes.

A pair of hands stroked her face, hair, ears, and neck, surprising her. Her head came up to see Envy's triumphant and ever-present smirk, shocking herself when a satisfied purr escaped her lips. A shudder coarsed through her fur, longing for his touch. Abruptly, he jerked on her collar, his way of telling her to hurry up so that they could leave, and obedient to the letter, she padded along behind him, green eyes watching him all the while.

Ace: No, Sonya, you may not attempt to murder Kayla ever again.

Sonya: What are you gonna do if I do try again?

Ace: I'll take Greed away.

Sonya: NOT MY BLOOD SOURCE! *hugs Greed*

Ace: Kayla, what are you doing now?

Kayla: Um, I kinda decided to jump ahead of your story and go rape Ed now.

Ace: Well, okay then!

Ed: What are you doing, Ace? *grabs paper, reads line, and spasms on floor*

Envy: Ooooh, what's got the pipsqueak all worked up? *grabs paper, reads handful of lines, and follows Ed's example on the floor*

Kayla: HEY, THAT LOOKS LIKE FUN! *simply follows thier example*

Lela: What's all that about?

Sonya: Oh, she's already planning a sequel.

Greed: WHA? ALREADY?

Sonya: Yep. It's chock full of stupidity. AND IT'S GONNA HAVE ROY MUSTANG!

Lela: *blink* Wasn't he the guy Envy's trying to scar for life?

Greed: Yeah.

Ace: Heeheeheeheeheeheehee, there's a meow in here!

Sonya: Ladies and gentlemen, Ace's brain has left the building.

Greed: Least she's working again.

Lela: Let's offer the same reward as last time, okay?

Greed: But we're out of whipped cream! All I gots is this thing of Cheez-whiz!

Sonya: MY CHEESE! *snatches can and sprays into mouth*

Greed: DON'T STEAL FROM GREED! *snatches can back*

Ace: Ooooooh, I wants Cheez-whiz too! *snatches can*

Lela: And so the battle of the Cheez-whiz can commenesed...

Later...

Sonya: ACE, YOU MORON, YOU GOOFED ON THIS THING!

Ace: I did?

Lela: *points out goof*

Kayla: Don't worry, we just fixed it for you!

Lela: We apologize to those of you who thought she updated, though we will admit she will update tomorrow and let you see what she's decided to do with herself after all that moaning.

Sonya: And once again, I will not be in the next chapter because of technical difficulties, so my next official appearance is in two chapters.

Kayla: Now, innocent citizens, you are welcome to get back to your lives!

Lela: Why not put up the new chapter now, Ace?

Ace: Because I haven't made the next one yet...

*group glare at Ace*

Ace: Fine. I'll go do it. *stomps off*