Ace: I HATE YOU, AWESOME PROCESSED CHEESE BY-PRODUCT INSIDE A CAN!

Greed: WHAT SHE SAID!

Sonya: DITTO!

Lela: What happened?

Ace: After you threatened me, the Cheez-Whiz went over the cliff there and was caught by a random guy screaming about how much he loved boobs!

Kayla: Will reviews make you feel better?

Ace: Yes.

Envy: Furorensu-Chan, I will say that I can totally scar Mustang for life far worse than you can, mainly because I've had centuries of practice, but still, he will be scarred! If not from me, it will be by Ed in the sequel.

Ed: SHUT UP, I STILL DON'T THINK SHE NEEDS ONE!

Envy: But Ed, you'd look so cute *bleeped out because of extreme spoilers*

Greed: AND YOU'RE KEEPING MUSTANG IN YOUR CLOSET! WITH CHEEZ-WHIZ!

Ace: IT'S NOT LIKE YOU GUYS TAKING UP SEMI-PERMANENT RESIDENCE IN MY ATTIC IS ANY BETTER, AND GIVE US CHEEZ-WHIZ! *starts foaming around mouth*

Envy: Dammit, Witty Tennis Girl is back!

Sonya: AND SHE HAS CHEEZ-WHIZ! GIVE US THE CHEEZ-WHIZ, WHOEVER YOU ARE! *also starts foaming at mouth*

Greed: CHEEZ-WHIZ, CHEEZ-WHIZ, CHEEZ-WHIZ! *more foam*

Lela: *sigh* Thanks for your compliment, it is much appriciated.

Kayla: YAY! IT'S MY BESTEST BUDDY, Bloody Bonez Alchemist XD! Hey, it was sad, but not worth screaming at her for! And, as you can see, we bullied her into updating for you! *sees Ace, Sonya, and Greed* HEY, I WANT TO GET RABIES TOO! *runs towards them*

Ed: *grabs by scruff of neck* No, you don't. Now do the disclaimer!

Kayla: Ace5980 does not own FullMetal Alchemist. Enjoy this chapter of awesomeness! *looks at Ed out of corner of eye and jumps on him, licking face*

12: Confrontations at Lab 5

Kayla awoke completely disoriented, blinking confusedly. What was she doing here in this place of nightmares and in her wolf form no less? Her head throbbed, and she whined pitifully. It felt as though someone had pushed her reset button, but she didn't know who. Perhaps the person whose scent clung to the red cloth tied to her ankle? She growled quietly, somehow knowing he wasn't responsible. Filing that conundrum away for later, she pushed herself to her paws and began scouting out the abandoned laboratory.

When she heard a loud crashing and banging coming from the old alchemy chamber, she ran there to see pure chaos before her.

Lela didn't know or care why they were at Lab 5. She just stuck close to her master, her tail and ears clinging to her body, and tried to push back the fear pulsing through her. It was illogical for her to be afraid of alchemists, not when she'd finished her dosage and Envy was a creature of alchemy, making it rather pointless to experiment on him. Still, she couldn't deny the stab of fear when she saw what they'd come here to see. Her eyes went impossibly wide, her claws slid out, and her entire body arched for flight. "Damn it, Envy," she moaned quietly, tail thrashing as she looked around desperately for an escape. He raised an eyebrow at her, merely confused by her behavior. "He's an alchemist."

Kayla only arrived to see the very end of the Slicer's fight with the intruder, a pretty blond boy, but she felt a strong urge to dash in and lick the boy's face and hands and pretty much whatever other parts of him she could reach. She shook her head, pawing at her muzzle in punishment. What was she thinking, licking a complete stranger? And yet, she couldn't deny his familiarity or the way her body was reacting to the mere sight of him. She wanted him, and she didn't know why because of that stupid migraine.

Curious, she crept closer as two figures emerged from the shadows, an androgynous boy, or she thought it was a boy anyway, and a woman with absolutely no modesty. She froze, eyes not seeing the sword the boy had put through the blood seals because she'd picked up a scent, a scent she knew and knew well. It was the scent of her master, the one that clung to the fabric on her wrist, and it belonged to the blond boy lying pathetically against the wall. How the crud did she know him?

Her mental hamster-wheeling came to a screeching half, however, when she saw the other boy advance towards her master. Kayla didn't think; she just acted. While her mind screamed at her to do something, her body acted, her leg muscles uncoiling to send her hurtling towards the threat. "Edward!"

"No!"

Lela hid in the shadows, too afraid to do any more than watch her master. He made short work of the guard, a pair of brothers soul-bound to a suit of armor, and began to advance on the alchemist. Suddenly, her attention focused on a pair of pale yellow lamp-like eyes glowing from the darkness across the room and splotches of silver fur reflecting what little light found its way down. A thrill spread through her body when she realized what she was looking at. A magnificent silver wolf. An Ark Angel subject who had benefited from Lela's own experimentation.

But it couldn't be Kayla. Of the two Animalia sisters who'd been part of Project Ark Angel, Lela was the only one to complete the project, making the cat girl the only one who was a true Ark Angel of the pair. Besides, Kayla knew better than to show ever a passing interest in an alchemist. Lela shook herself from her dilemma to once again dutifully watch the movements of her master, only to be once more distracted, this time by the flash of teeth. The wolf had sprung at her master, the cry of "Edward!" on its lips, a snarling visage on its face.

Lela didn't think, merely acted. Her body threw off the effects of the serum in her blood as she made a desperate leap. "No!"

The next thing Kayla knew, she was tumbling through the air and against the hard concrete floor. She recoiled quickly, on her feet in an impossibly swift movement for any save an Ark Angel, and locked eyes with her opponent, a growling specimen of black panther with bright green eyes and a black leather cat collar. She snarled in response, the need to protect this Edward overriding her survival and pacifist instincts, and launched herself at the cat.

Lela's claws lashed out as often as they could as she fought with the wolf, but she could not deny that the wolf possessed a far more dangerous killing instinct and found herself making her wounds more often using her slightly-clubbed tail rather than her razor-sharp claws. The wolf, however, seemed perfectly content to bite at its adversary with its teeth. It sank its fangs into Lela's side, causing her to let out a yelp and lash out with her claws at its face, which backhanded it into the wall beside the nearly-unconscious alchemist, who pet it soothingly. Then everything went wrong.

Kayla's entire head hurt from the blows she'd taken, even as her body ached from her close encounter with the solid wall. Slowly, ignoring the gentle pulling on her fur, she pushed herself unsteadily to her feet, only to stare into the soft liquid gold of the alchemist's eyes. For one long moment, she was transfixed by them, but then she heard the sounds of the building crumbling around her. Frightened, she pushed herself away and ran, the sound of her paws slapping against the floor being the only thing she focused her ears on and blatantly ignoring the anguish in the alchemist's voice as he called her name, the word echoing loudly and shamefully against the walls. "Kayla!"

"Kayla!" No, Lela thought desperately, That can't be Kayla. It couldn't be. That's impossible. But her heart knew there was truth lurking inside the alchemist's words. That had been Kayla. Lela had fought her own sister, dear sweet Kayla, simply to protect the person, the bastard, who had captured her from something he'd certainly deserved and most likely had earned. Unable to cope with the unexpected shock, her legs gave out underneath her, and she fainted, her mind swirling around the fact she'd found Kayla again only to turn her into a monster.

Ed: RAPE, RAPE!

Envy: Oh, get over it, you shrimp.

Ed: WHO YOU CALLING A- *cut off by Kayla nuzzling at neck*

Lela: Okay, I'm done here.

Envy: You're the only sane one, you know. Anything you leave us here to do can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Lela: Damn. Let's offer, um, I'm actually starting to run out of ideas now.

Envy: *whisper whisper*

Lela: Fine. Reviewers may insult a character of thier choice.

*Ace, Sonya, and Greed run by with a can of whipped cream and a new can of Cheez-Whiz, laughing crazily and leaving behind a burning store in thier wake*

Envy: Hey, that looks fun! I'm gonna go join the insane group! *runs off*

Lela: And why again do I put up with these lunatics?

Ace, Envy, Sonya, and Greed: *distant* CHEEZ-WHIZ!