Ace: Wah! I'm getting overwhelmed!

Envy: Hey look, a review from Furorensu-Chan! OH YEAH, WELL I-

Lela: Yes yes, you can both scar Mustang, let's just call it a day then.

Greed: Wow. Okay then...

Ed: WHO'RE YOU CALLING A SOMETHING SMALL ENOUGH TO BE CRUSHED UNDER THAT SKIRT-CHASER'S BOOTS AND SCRAPED OFF ON THE SIDEWALK?

Kayla: Yeah, I don't like Shou Tucker either, EternalHypernova. He gives me the creeps. And no, Ark Angels are explored far more throughly in the next three chapters, along with Project Avenging Angel.

Ace: NO WHIPPED CREAM FOR YOU! IT'S FOR FAKING RABIES ONLY! And, um, about the update, I was only fixing a goof I randomly noticed I'd made and, uh, *points finger at girls* BLAME THEM!

Envy: Um, DarkVampirePrincess8, OF COURSE I AM BIPOLAR! IT'S A REQUIREMENT FOR SOMEONE OF MY ABILITIES!

Lela: Don't worry, you were right when you called him a sweetheart.

Envy: QUIET YOU!

Kayla: And as for Lela and I not knowing each other, that was because I wasn't supposed to be able to change into a wolf yet, and I didn't know Lela could transform into a panther either, plus I always thought she had more dignity than to wear a cat collar around her neck with the words Envy's kitten written on it...

Sonya: You can have some of our Cheez-Whiz we stole from the store, but I wasn't in there because I never went to Lab Five, and I kinda had a continuation with the last scene I made, so... no mention there for me, sadly. But I'm in this chapter, so rejoice!

Kayla: I know. I hated getting beat up like that and not remembering a lot of crap and leaving Ed there to die. *sniffle*

Sonya: And we ALL bullied Ace into updating, not just her.

Lela: I mean seriously, where do they get all those ideas?

Ace: Ed, since you abused the caps lock the most today, you get to make the disclaimer.

Ed: But I only did it once! Envy did it three times!

Ace: You used more words, so do it before I punish you.

Greed: Ace5980 does not own FullMetal Alchemist. Enjoy!

Ed: Eheheheheheheh, I'm screwed now, aren't I?

Ace: Oh, most definitely.

13: The Unholiness of Sainthood

Edward wasn't out for long. He awoke angry, pissed as hell, covered in injuries and thus bandages, and in the hospital. Not even the joint efforts of Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Major Armstrong, Armstrong's sparkles, and the doctor could prevent him from trying to find Kayla, and it wasn't from lack of trying on their part. Ed was just far too determined to hunt down the wolf chimera girl for anyone to stop him, not when he knew she was here in Central. The last time he'd looked her in the eyes, he'd found fear, pain, confusion, and a deep sorrow. He simply had to find her, which was the reason why he was currently roaming the streets despite the fact he had broken automail, couldn't perform the slightest bit of alchemy, had abandoned his Military guards, and was basically a sitting duck for Scar. If he could find Kayla though, it would all be worth it.

"What's Project Avenging Angel?"

Sonya froze, surprised by the suddenness of the other voice. It wasn't because the voice was unfamiliar, it wasn't that in the slightest, but because she hadn't been expecting Greed to be there, in her private room. She sighed, beckoning him closer as she pulled her long, clean, chestnut hair over her shoulder. "Do you see that?" she asked calmly.

He nodded, reaching out a finger towards the back of her neck. "How could I not?" he whispered quietly, touching the very center of the tattoo, black, brown, and red, of a bow-like sword on the smooth, sensitive skin there.

"That's part of what the original alchemists did to me all those years ago."

He was mystified as to what she was hinting at. "What are you saying, Sonya?"

"I'm no more human than you are, Greed. When I was 'born', they said I would be both a valuable gift to humankind and a monster whose world was tainted red with blood." She swallowed hard, unsure whether she was choking back tears or bile now. "I sure as hell proved them wrong when I ran away with my sisters."

"I didn't know you had siblings."

"Technically, they're not really related to me anymore, not since I changed species. Not since I became alchemy's version of an avenging angel."

Lela had never regretted anything as much as she did creating Kayla five years ago. For her to see her childish younger sister's face twisted in hatred and anger, it made her feel brand new guilt to season the old in her wounds. She stirred, pushing herself off the bed underneath her and out of the arms that had tried to catch her. Her claws slid out of their sheaths, and she put them to her neck slowly and deliberately. "Lela," a familiar voice gasped, shocked, "What are you doing?"

Her green eyes focused on her master, sorrow brimming to the very edge of them. "I don't want this to go on anymore, Envy. I started this, so it's only fair for me to pay for my crimes."

"Lela, just because you're the eldest sister doesn't mean it's all your fault!"

"Yes it is!" she cried, her eyes boring into his. "It is all my fault!"

"Kitten-"

"Don't you see? I was the one who betrayed us to the alchemists! I was the one who created the formulas to turn my younger sisters and myself into the Military's weapons, their tamed monsters! I was the one who offered myself as the first test subject!" Her tears fell thick and fast, splattering all over her fur as she lowered her head. "I was the catalyst for Project Ark Angel and Project Avenging Angel."

Edward had been searching for hours, but he had yet to find hide or hair of Kayla. If he didn't find her soon, he'd be forced to abandon his search yet again and hope to find her when he looked again tomorrow. His metal hand fisted around a small scrap of dark blue fabric she'd given to him about a year ago, tied around a smooth riverstone she'd liked. It was basically her way of showing her affection towards him in a physical reminder, but Ed couldn't deny it brought him some slight measure of comfort to hold something she'd given to him as a gift. "Oh Kayla," he murmured quietly, "Please come back. I'm not afraid of you, I'm afraid for you."

On the roof, a pair of fierce yellow eyes widened in shock. She could not remember much after her older sister Lela had broken them all out of the Fifth Laboratory, three years ago, merely flashes of things and the boy's name, Edward. She knew he had seen her in both of her forms and knew she could look like, be, a wolf if she chose to, so why was he not afraid of her? He was an alchemist; not her creator, but an alchemist all the same. She was an Ark Angel, a monstrous creature of alchemy. Why did he want her back? Unconsciously, her body leaned towards him, longing for his touch.

Something must've giver her away because he looked up at her pleadingly. "Kayla," he whispered softly, "come back." Her ears twitched, and she took an uncertain step towards the edge of the roof in his direction. "Don't leave again, Kayla. Please. I never meant to hurt you in any way." She took another step closer, a low whine in the back of her throat. She closed her eyes for a long moment, fighting back against the urge to jump down and kiss him hard.

A pair of gentle hands, one warm flesh and the other cold steel, caressed her head, paying special attention to her ears in just the way she liked. Her eyes opened slowly to meet his, unable to find the resistance against the young alchemist any longer, not now when she had recalled some of the times they'd spent together. But she couldn't deny that she had to warn him of exactly what she was. "Edward, I can't let you stay in the dark any longer, not when I'm a part of Project Ark Angel. I was created to become a monster, so it's only right for me to warn you of what you're getting into."

"Sonya, angels aren't real."

"True angels aren't, but I'm not a true angel. I was not created by a god."

Greed sighed. "I'm not buying it, Sonya."

"Fine then. I guess I'll have to spill the beans to get you to see the truth."

"I don't understand, little kitten."

"Fine," Lela snarled, "I'll make you understand then."

Ace: *walks into room, dragging Envy by hair*

Ed: WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?

Ace: He's part of your punishment.

Ed: WHA- *is cut off as Ace shoves Envy on top of Ed, making sure they lip-lock* GROSS, GROSS, GROSS, GROSS, GROSS, I JUST KISSED A PALM TREE!

Envy: GROSS, GROSS, GROSS, GROSS, GROSS, I JUST KISSED THE PIPSQUEAK HUMAN ALCHEMIST! *runs away for therapy with Lela*

Lela: Envy, you do know that was punishment for antagonizing the reviewers.

Envy: Never. Again. *whimper*

Lela: Come here. *hugs Envy*

Ed: I WILL NEVER BE CLEAN, I WILL NEVER BE CLEAN!

Kayla: Since he isn't gonna be clean... *tackles Ed and begins kissing him*

Ace: HA HA, NOW I'M FREE TO CONTINUE MY CRIME SPREE! *runs off to go steal more things from grocery stores with Sonya, Greed, and her many rabid weasel minions*

Sonya: REVIEWERS GET RABID WEASEL MINIONS TOO!

Greed: I WANTS TO STEAL MORE STUFF!

Sonya: What kind of stuff?

Greed: I'M GREED! I WANT MONEY! I WANT SEX! I WANT LAND, FAME!

Ace: *face-palm*

Sonya: I'M IN!

Ace: Oh, and fair warning, I may have to start slowing down on the updates. I'm just simply having a hard time keeping up now! OKAY, GUYS, THIS TIME WE'RE HITTING WAL-MART!

*Note: Ace5980 does not own Wal-mart, Cheez-whiz, or any of the other crap she mentions in here other than Sonya, Kayla, and Lela. Now time for shameless advertising! If you like this story, please visit Ace's newest story, Winds of Change! It has Envy and Ed and Mustang and Lust and Gluttony and insanity in it! However, it does not have a meow.