Thank you everyone who reviewed - they were awesome! Now please, keep it up! :)
Before anyone says anything, I know Natalie has been having more interactions with Barsad with Bane, and there is a reason for that. Next chapter is going to be an exclusive Bane and Natalie chapter (maybe even have some Blake in it, too, I don't know yet), so yes, there is a method to my madness. And anyone whose read any of my other stories know that I am not lying when I say that. It might be a roundabout, convoluted method, but a method, nonetheless. I'm also sorry if I write him a little OOC, but thankfully, we have so few interactions with Barsad in the movie, that I feel like that gives me a little bit more wiggle-room to play around in.
CLTex: So excited your excited! All answers will be given in due time, so please, continue reading :)
UndeadMama: Your review was awesome! Just sayin'! And I know it looks like I might be having more of a love 'rectangle' going on with this chapter, but I promise that this is an exclusive BanexNataliexBlake fic. And if I'm being honest, I don't even know how this thing is gonna end, so . . . yeah, it's gonna be a surprise to all of us!
AuRevoirMonCauchemar: Thanks so much! And I'll try, I promise! :)
A Week Later . . .
"Here, read this one. Hope you like poetry."
Barsad's brows furrowed in slight interest as he took the book Natalie was holding out to him. They had been sitting on the couches in the living room that one sunny morning about a week after Bane walking in sporting that bullet wound, casually discussing their favorite works of literature over coffee and that morning's Price Is Right episode (which Barsad did not even bother to hide his dislike for and which Natalie confessed to in reply of having a guilty pleasure of. This confession surprisingly caused him to bite his tongue and bear it every episode afterwards), when he mentioned that he had nothing else new to read. That was when she rose to her feet and moved over to one of the bookcases across the room from them. Quickly finding what she wanted among the jam-packed shelves, she moved back over to him and held it out to him. He had taken it from her initially because he was curious what she had found, but as he gazed down at the cover, he found himself feeling a tad dubious.
"'The Universe and Her' by Christopher Poindexter," He gave a slow nod as he flipped it open to a random page and immediately read one of the poems out loud: "When you kiss me, lights go off on the edge of the world. When you kiss me, children rise from their beds and begin their day in perfect innocence. When you kiss me, the clouds shift and comfort the hurting and they never seem to hurt again. When you kiss me, all our heroes are summoned from the dead and come to live inside our chests. When you kiss me, I am as good as I will ever get, as pure as you will ever know me, as perfect as your eyes will allow me. So hear when I say, darling, when you kiss me, I become a better man'," He arched a brow and turned his eyes up to her. "Are you kidding me?"
Natalie gave him a small smile. Barsad was such an enigma to her and she found that she loved it. In fact, everyone who surrounded Bane – even the man himself – was an enigma. Bane's accent was in itself hard to place, but nothing like Barsad's. Where one day it would hold a distinctive Middle Eastern edge to it, the next it could be distinctly Eastern European (which it was a lot, she noticed) or even would hold a slight British tone to it like it did now. Many times, she contemplated asking him where he was from – what accent was truly his to claim - but always grew afraid and would back out at the last minute. She didn't know why, though. Whereas Bane could be irritable and snappish at the slightest provocation to kind and gentle the next minute, Barsad always made a point of being a little more level with her from day-to-day. It sounded so wrong, but the mysterious man was quickly turning out to be her pillar of stability in this otherwise hectic, stressful life she was forging for herself.
"Everybody needs love in their life Barsad. Even if it comes from words in a book." She told him and a look of surprise flickered across his face then as he looked up at her.
"Quite the philosophical words, pretty one." He spoke, and she gave a laugh as she returned to her seat on the couch. And then there was that nickname - 'pretty one'. Bane often called her 'little one' and she could easily understand why. Compared to him and his rather mountainous appearance, she was little. But Barsad . . . his nickname for her was as mysterious as his accent.
And those words rolling from his lips in any one of those three random accents of his, was rather charming, too, she had to admit.
She found herself wondering, for a split second, if he really thought her pretty, but cast the thought from her mind. She shouldn't think like that. She shouldn't think of Barsad as a friend – the man who had helped kidnap her and before that, invade her privacy by invading her home. She shouldn't be growing warmer to Bane, despite his irritations and his snaps – feeling safer in his presence now that she was learning how to navigate the rapids of his temper. She shouldn't rely on the both of them like she was. She shouldn't be doing a lot of things that regardless, she found herself doing. She wondered if it was Stockholm syndrome already starting to set in, and the thought frightened her. She didn't want to be known as a Pattie Hearst when all this was over and done with.
If it would eventually be done with, that is.
They sat there in silence for a moment, Barsad flipping through the book and occasionally stopping, where his eyes would quickly scan the poem on the page, while Natalie sat on her couch, slowly feeling herself slipping into memories of her and Blake. Them smiling and laughing and walking down the streets of Gotham holding hands while juggling bags of food or cones of ice cream during the summer or returning home from a date or an outing with friends. Movies that would play on their TV while they sat and lay there on the couch in each other's arms – the love they would make later that night under the covers of their bed, where they could selfishly afford to think that it was just the both of them left in the world who truly mattered. She missed those selfish little moments between them. She thought she missed them, more than she missed him.
"You're crying . . ."
Natalie jumped and her eyes grew wide as they flew onto Barsad's. He had been watching her over the opened book in his hands, brows furrowed slightly in an emotion she could not decipher, as she sat there thinking. She slowly shook her head.
"I . . . I was not . . ."
Barsad nodded. "Yes, you were. I saw a tear go down your cheek. What were you thinking of?"
Natalie sat there for a moment, debating on sharing such things with him, before heaving a breath. "I . . . I miss Blake."
"The man you were living with?" Natalie nodded.
"Yes. I miss him. I miss my grandmother, my brother . . . I miss my entire life."
Barsad nodded, slowly, almost in understanding. "Blake is searching for you, as I have no doubt he is. Your brother is fine and so is your grandmother."
He said such things with such finality, that Natalie couldn't help but turn an inquiring gaze onto him. Her eyebrows furrowed gently in interest. "How do you know that?" Barsad gave a nonchalant shrug.
"You think Bane took you without first learning everything about you? He knows your grandmother is in a nursing home outside the city, just like he knows your brother is an inmate in Blackgate. As such, he also keeps tabs on them. Both of them are doing just fine, you have my word."
"Your word?" Natalie breathed as she got to her feet. Eyes wide, she shook her head. "When were either of you going to tell me this? Was I just supposed to suffer in ignorance? Or were you waiting to tell me when you needed something from me and needed something to hold over my head in case I didn't do that something?" Barsad opened his mouth to speak but she closed her eyes and shook her head. "No, don't answer that. Enjoy the book, I need to be alone."
She left him then, and marched to the bedroom, where she closed the doors behind her. She didn't lock the doors, knowing that, unlike Bane, Barsad would respect her need for privacy. She sat down on the bed, her arms crossed in front of her chest, where she shook her head. How could she have been so blind? Of course she couldn't trust them and Barsad had just opened her eyes as to why. If they had been lying about knowing about whether everyone she ever loved in her live was safe, then what else were they lying about?
Something else suddenly occurred to her, and Natalie's eyes widened in shock and anger. Arms falling back to her sides, she jumped to her feet and marched to the double doors, where she threw them open. Barsad didn't jump, but did immediately turn his eyes up to hers from the still opened book in his hands. They were wide with surprise at this sudden outburst of her anger. For a moment, she felt her breath catch in her throat over how natural the scene before her, appeared. Barsad sitting relaxed on one of the couches, book open in his hands while she marched out of the bedroom in a huff . . . Hell, even the lighting was perfect! It all seemed like a scene taken directly out of a movie – out of the real, normal life of an ordinary couple.
She shook the thoughts from her head. No . . . no, she needed to get rid of those - what was wrong with her?
"Where's Kai?"
Barsad continued to sit there for a moment, an expression of confusion registering on his face. He shook his head. "I don't -"
Natalie silently apologized to her best friend in her mind for ever daring to forget about her after what she had allowed to happen. She then moved to stand behind the couch on his left, her arms moving to cross in front of her chest again. "You know damn good and well what I am talking about, so don't play dumb! Kai – the woman who came in with me! The one with brown hair, blue eyes, glasses – looks a little like Lizzy Caplan?"
Barsad shook his head in slight bewilderment. "I don't . . . I don't know who Lizzy Caplan is -"
"That's not the point!" Natalie screeched at him, interrupting him mid-sentence, and Barsad wisely stayed silent as she continued to rant: "The point is: she came in with me, I was forced to choose between her that Hell Bitch and when I did, you wrangled me off to the bedroom while her and Marcia were . . ." She trailed off and swallowed hard. "They were carried off to – I presume – be gang raped."
He nodded and after a moment, a look of dawning recognition appeared on his face. "Oh her!"
A look of disgust appeared on Natalie's face then. "Yes, her!"
Barsad gave a nonchalant shrug. "She's fine," An expressionless look appeared on his face then, although there was something that remained in his eyes that she couldn't rightly decipher. "Do you wish to see her?"
The question immediately took Natalie aback. She even recoiled slightly at the force of his words hitting her. She could see her? She didn't think she could – didn't think Bane would allow it after what had happened between them. She asked him if she really could - if that was possible - and he gave another shrug that was accompanied by a nod. "Well, of course you can. Your Bane's queen – she's your lady. You have every right in the world to see her. In fact, Bane confided to me that he was surprised you hadn't asked to see her sooner."
Natalie stood there in shock for a moment, registering what he was telling her, before giving a frantic nod. Immediately forgetting her anger or what she had been angry about, for that matter, she ran and after jumping over the back of the couch that separated them, moved quickly over to him. Landing on the open space beside him, she barely registered the look of amusement echoing in his eyes as she spoke, her voice frantic with excitement: "Yes, please! Go get her and bring her here right now, Barsad – I want to see her!" Laughing, he nodded and got to his feet, where he gave a deep, mock bow.
"Yes, of course, my queen! Right at once, my queen!" She knew he was teasing and she couldn't help but grin and laugh in response. It was the first laugh she had gave since coming here and shook her head as she continued to grin. She was finally going to see one friendly face since she arrived – a person that she loved and trusted! She never before remembered feeling this excited since her childhood's Christmas mornings!
"Oh, thank you! Oh, Barsad, I could kiss you right now!"
The words fell from her giddy lips before she could even register she had said them, let alone recall them back. She only realized she said something wrong when a stricken look appeared on his face. It was at that look that she realized she must have said something, and only adopted her horrified expression when she realized what she had said. Shaking her head, she sat up on her knees and held out a hand to him.
"Oh God – I didn't mean it, Barsad, I was just . . . I was just so excited, I didn't -"
"Something tells me Bane wouldn't exactly like to hear of us kissing, pretty one . . . regardless of who kissed who first."
His words, which interrupted her mid-sputtered sentence, were accompanied by an expressionless face. She knelt there in silence for a moment, not knowing what to say. His expression might have been blank, but his voice suggested at fleeting points that she barely caught, that he thought Bane could shove his dislike of them sharing a kiss, up where the sun didn't shine.
The thought confused her, frightened her and also . . . exhilarated her to a degree that made her experience all those emotions all over again. It was mainly fear, though, that kept her thoughts in check. He was right: Bane would not like the idea, even in jest. That was more than enough for her to willingly drop the thought.
A path of hot blush speared up her neck and bloomed across her cheeks, and she hurriedly averted her gaze away from him and onto the rugged floor underneath them. "I, uh . . . you should go get Kai now."
"Natalie . . .!"
It was the first time he spoke her name and it caused a shudder to fly up her spine, but she passed it by. "Go, Barsad."
He stayed there for a moment before pursing his lips and nodded. Turning, he moved to the door and she heard the key in the lock and turning, before it opened and he stepped out. Locking the door behind him, she imagined he was on the elevator as she slowly sank down onto her ass instead of remaining on her knees. She turned her attention onto the TV in front of her but it did shit in distracting her. That entire encounter between her and Barsad had managed to wheedle its way into her mind and refused to leave her alone. She didn't know what it meant – she didn't even realize why she had said what she said. She knew she liked Barsad – she considered him a friend – but that was only because he was the only one who treated her even remotely like a human being. Bane treated her like a queen – someone to be revered, someone to be . . . worshiped, almost. His men – the men she did see, that was – treated her somewhere along the same lines. Barsad . . . Barsad was the only one who sat down beside her in the morning and kept her company as she woke up and blinked the sleep from her eyes. He bit his tongue and sat through every Price is Right episode she subjected him to, even though he hated it. He talked to her like they were equals – like they were both humans having a casual conversation. All of it didn't mean anything, of course, she knew that. She was Bane's and the bull man reminded her of that fact every second of every day. And no matter how friendly her and Barsad were with each other, there was still a line of friendliness that not even Barsad dared to cross. That was the first time he had teased her and she had laughed, since she arrived there.
She was Bane's. Barsad knew it, his men knew it . . . even she knew it. She might not see him all that much, but she was still Bane's and there was nothing she could do about it.
Around ten minutes later, the elevator 'dinged' and she heard the key in the lock. Heart pounding in her chest, she jumped to her feet when the door opened. It closed, locked, and footsteps were heard coming into the apartment. She swallowed hard and the look of relief that speared through her heart when she saw Kai enter the living room with Barsad in tow, almost crippled her. Tears appeared in her eyes and they didn't abate, even when Kai turned her eyes onto her. A look of relief and shock appeared in the woman's eyes before filling with tears, as well.
"Nat?"
"Oh God – Kai!"
The two friends ran into each other's arms in a fierce, tight embrace. Natalie felt her friend shake in her arms and knew she was crying. Hell, she was on the verge of crying herself!
Her eyes locked with Barsad's and he gave her a small smile. "You want to be alone, pretty one?" He asked, and she returned his smile as they broke apart. Kai wiped at her tears as they took seats beside each other on the couch.
"But I'm not supposed to be alone, remember?" She asked, a slightly teasing tone to her voice, and Barsad chuckled as he glanced at the front door.
"If I'm standing at the front door, I doubt anyone will be able to get in. You'll be fine." He returned his eyes onto hers then, waiting for her answer, and after a moment, she nodded.
"Yes, please," He nodded and moved to go, but her calling his name caused him to stop and turn back around to face her. She opened her mouth to speak but then closed it. An apologetic look appeared on her face then. "I'm sorry, Barsad, I know you're not my maid, but can you please get us two cups of coffee before you go? Kai looks like she needs it and you . . ." She gave an uneasy laugh, almost as if she was afraid of saying what she was going to say next. "I like how you make your coffee."
A soft look flickered across his eyes before it was lost and it warmed her heart in an unexpected and nerve-wracking way. He nodded as a small smile appeared on his face. "Of course, Nat."
It had been the first time he used her nickname and the sound of it coming from him temporarily floored her. She was brought out of her thoughts by Kai's incredulous voice. "Did he just use your nickname?"
Natalie swallowed before giving a tight smile and a nod. "A-Apparently," She spoke before biting down on her lower lip and taking her friend's hands in hers. "How are you? I'm so sorry for not being able to get to you sooner, but Bane, he's -"
"Probably making your life hell, I know." Kai interrupted her, somewhat scornfully, and Natalie gave a jerky nod. It wasn't hell, per say . . . he didn't mistreat her or beat her or anything, but regardless, he still made it where she prayed for her old life back every single morning when she woke up and every single night when she went to bed.
"It's . . . been difficult. Bane, is difficult. But I've been learning how to navigate him and things are getting better." She told her, and Kai gave a tight smile.
"I can tell. Care to tell me why you're getting all chummy with his second?"
Natalie glanced at the kitchen, where the sounds of Barsad getting their coffee, could be heard. After a moment, she shook her head and rolled her eyes. "We're not . . . getting chummy, Kai."
Liar . . .
"Bane assigned him as my bodyguard when this . . . crazy woman found her way in here. Long story, I'll have to tell you later. He's . . ." She gave a shrug. "He's stoic and he's silent most of the time – keeps to himself and his thoughts, but . . ." She trailed off and thought for a moment before speaking. "But he's kind and he's gentle and he's stable from day to day, which is what I need. I don't have to worry about what Barsad – what mood – I'm going to get every day like I do with Bane. His stability is comforting."
Barsad had returned with their coffee by then and brought them to them. Natalie shot him a smile and a thank you while Kai did nothing of the sort. She simply took her coffee with a silent nod before taking a sip, cautious of its heat. "I'll be outside, pretty one. Call for me when she's ready to leave." Natalie smiled and nodded. He returned her smile before turning and moving towards the door. Kai waited until the door closed behind him before speaking.
"You certainly speak highly of the man who's only supposed to be your bodyguard, Nat. And 'pretty one'? What's with that nickname?" She asked with a raised brow and Natalie took a sip of her coffee before giving a shrug. Sweet but which still retained that strong coffee taste . . . it was how Barsad drank his and after making it for her one morning, she was hooked. Thanks to him, she was now an official coffee drinker.
"I don't know. I've been meaning to ask him, along with . . . other things, but . . ." She gave another shrug. "I don't know, I just haven't gotten around to it, I suppose."
Kai gave a slow nod. "Well, quite obviously, he thinks you're pretty if he's calling you that. That or he has one sick sense of humor."
"You think?" Natalie asked, eyebrows furrowing in interest, and Kai gave a slightly bitter laugh and a nod.
"Oh yeah. It's pretty obvious, actually," Natalie was going to ask her what she meant by that, when Kai changed the subject. "So . . . I don't imagine you've heard from Blake?" Natalie's face fell then as she was reminded of Blake, and a spear of hurt and love speared through her heart so strong that it churned her stomach and made her head spin.
"I haven't. Of course I haven't! I mean . . . Bane doesn't even let me watch the news unless he's with me, so I don't even know where the police are with the investigation."
"If it's still even going on." Kai muttered in another bitter tone, and Natalie shot her a reprimanding look.
"Of course it's still ongoing, Kai! Blake would never give up on finding me!" She told her, and Kai gave a shrug.
"Unless, of course, he has, then we're just fucked -"
"Kai!"
"What? It's true and you know it, Nat!" Kai shot back, her eyes flashing underneath the lenses of her glasses. "Blake could have given up on you – that is a possibility! And if he has, then you need to get used to it! You need to get used to the fact that this just might become your new life."
Natalie gave a slow shake of her head. "What happened to you, Kai?" She asked in damn near wonderment, and Kai gave a bark of laughter, almost as if Natalie was a fool for asking such a question.
"Oh well let's see: I was kidnapped, gang-raped, beaten, and then watched that woman we came in with, die by a gunshot to the head, because you picked me over her. Then I was thrown into this windowless jail cell where I've been languishing away until today, when you sent Mr. Tall, Dark and Brooding to fetch me and bring me up here. In other words: constant shit!" She sent her a look before shaking her head. "I don't expect you to understand. Unless Mr. Tall, Dark and Brooding raped you too after carrying you into that room, then I doubt you'll understand," She gave a laugh and shook her head. "Unless he didn't and the sex between you two came later, which would explain your chumminess with each other. In that case, I really -"
"Kai, stop it." Natalie interrupted her, her voice and eyes hard. The coffee was sitting forgotten in her hands and when Kai turned her eyes up onto hers, they immediately widened, almost as if she just realized what she said. She shook her head.
"Nat, I'm . . . I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things! It's just -"
"It's been hard. I know. It's been hard for me, too. And I won't pretend that I've suffered more than you have, because I haven't. That doesn't mean, though, that I don't want to go home. I do. I want more than anything to be back at home with Blake, but I'm not and I can't. I've been trying to make the most of my situation since arriving here, and . . ." She trailed off for a moment before speaking again. "Barsad did not rape me when he drug me into the bedroom. He didn't rape me, I didn't sleep with him - I'm not - sleeping with him, we just . . . we talked until they drug you two out of the room, and then he left. Nothing happened, Kai, and nothing is happening. I'm sorry, but it's the truth."
Kai nodded. "I know. I'm sorry, Nat, I couldn't . . . I was just so angry for a moment that I couldn't . . ." She trailed off and heaved a sigh. "I said those things out of anger, even though I knew them not to be true. Forgive me?" Natalie nodded.
"Always. I'll talk to Bane – try to get you a new room." Kai gave her a thankful look.
"Thanks, hun. It'd . . . It'd be appreciated." They shared a smile and finished their now quickly cooling coffee. When they were done and the empty cups were on the coffetable, they gave each other another hug.
"It was good to see you. To know that you're okay." Natalie spoke, and Kai nodded in agreement.
"I know. Promise you'll talk to him for me?" Natalie nodded as they broke apart.
"Of course; I'll do that tonight. You can count on me, sweetie." Kai continued to smile as Natalie called for Barsad. The door opened and he entered with another man in tow. "Kai's ready to leave." Barsad nodded.
"Abal will take her back. Don't worry – I've given him express orders to not touch you." He told her and she gave him a small smile of thanks as she got to her feet. Shooting Natalie a smile over her shoulder, the two friends said their goodbyes before she left. Barsad followed them and locked the door behind them before returning to the living room. He stood there, looking uncertain on whether or not he wanted to take Kai's place beside her on the couch. Now that Kai was gone, the awkwardness was back.
"Good reunion?" He asked, when the silence between them started to choke even him, and she nodded.
"Yes. She's changed, but . . . we both have," He nodded and they fell into silence for a moment before she broke it. "Look, Barsad, about earlier when I said I could kiss you -"
He shook his head, interrupting her. "Pretty one, don't. I understand."
"You do?" He nodded.
"Words spoken in the heat of the moment, are best cast aside." She gave him a thankful smile and he returned it before he finally moved to take a seat beside her. He picked up the remote and started channel surfing for something good. Natalie sat there awkwardly for a moment before moving back up to her knees. Leaning over, she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder before pressing an equally as gentle kiss to his cheek. Barsad froze and when she pulled away, she found he was in the process of pinning her with a wide-eyed look. She sent him a thankful smile.
"Thank you, Barsad. You didn't have to do any of what you did for me this morning, but you did anyway. So, again, thank you."
He slowly nodded and they fell silent. Natalie leaned back against the arm of the couch she had been reclining against moments ago as Barsad continued channel surfing. After a moment, he found something and after plopping the remote between them, leaned back against the couch, his head moving to prop itself on his hand. A moment longer, his voice broke through the silence.
"Words spoken in the heat of the moment, are best cast aside," He repeated, his voice firmer than it had been previously, and Natalie furrowed her brows in confusion and turned to gaze at him. He kept his eyes pinned to the screen in front of them and when he continued, his voice had quietened considerably. "No matter how much I wish them to be true."