I really wanna apologize in advance - this chapter is total shit. I had to force it out because it contains a very important plot point, without which the story couldn't go on the way it should. So, please excuse how unimaginably awful it is, it'll get back to the good stuff next chapter (though two chapters from now, you'll probably be crying and hating on me for what happens)

Weeks passed, and I was reclaiming my trust in Neid. After the episode with the killing in the village and his positively monstrous drive, he seemed to calm down. Instead of eying me with some sort of twisted desire, his expressions were softer and friendlier. In fact, he was making me rise in rank in the 14th Infantry, and I was nearing the top. More opportunities and privileges were being given to me; new doors were being opened, and everything I put myself through began to appear a small price to pay.

Komisch, wie naiver in der Mitte des Erfolgs sein kann.

Around the time I found out, freedom was steadily reintroducing itself to me. More often than before, I was going out of the Sklavenheim and wandering aimlessly through the base. I still felt small underneath the stares of all the seasoned soldiers and their merit badges, but it didn't mean I couldn't walk past them. Actually, I hoped that I could do so with my head held high, but I wasn't quite at that stage yet.

I was near the officers' Rec Room (whose billiard tables and dartboards and dirty, lawless fun were strictly off-limits to those of us in the Sklavenheim) when I saw it. And through the hollering, the frenzied shouts of glee from inside, I was able to hear footsteps and his voice. Under normal circumstances, Neid didn't want us out of the Sklavenheim's general vicinity, or else he'd give us immediate punishment – dessen Formen unheimlich erfinderisch und furchterregend waren.

Luckily, months of being near him made his voice easily recognizable. Hurriedly, I ducked out of sight and into a small nook between the bend in the hall and the Rec Room door. Squatting there, I watched my commanding officer come into sight. What I witnessed caused my jaw to hit the floor and my brain to do backflips. Neid was walking down the hall, his arms wrapped around the waist of a tall woman in a revealing black dress. Her high-heeled boots clanked against the floor as she was led along by Neid.

What was going on…? What was he…? Why was he…? Who…? How…? A thousand questions ran through my head as I watched the two pull one another closer.

"Sie sind die nur ein für mich, Lust." That short thought said, he wrapped his arms around the woman's neck. He slowly pulled their heads together, and their lips locked in a passionate kiss.

And the amazing thing was that I felt jealous. So many emotions were swirling inside my head that I couldn't make sense of anything but jealousy. But what was I supposed to feel? Officer Neid was right there, kissing the most beautiful (at least, big-breasted) woman I'd ever seen.

As I turned and ran down the hall, away from the scene, I tried to sort out the pandemonium my mind was in. When I began, the first emotion I came across was anger. Was tat er mit ihr? Waren wir für ihn nicht gut genug? Did I not satisfy him enough, submissive as I was and always had been?

My anger soon gave way to confusion. Why was he doing this to us? Every single day, we poured ourselves out to him, and through our misery, we obeyed. We obeyed. And – was it only to spite us? – he went around with this grown woman, acting as if he knew nothing of the Sklavenheim.

Soon, my confusion melted into sadness. By the time I arrived back at the Sklavenheim's door my face was wet with tears. He betrayed us…after everything I'd done to win his favor, he'd betrayed me.

Bursting into our own, secluded, little world, I must've appeared quite a mess. But I figured everyone was used to me coming in in an emotional trainwreck. After all, Alphonse had started referring to me as the 'Heulsuse' as of late. Nina agreed that it was a quite fitting nickname for me.

Anyway, everyone turned to me as I entered. No one came running to my side to comfort me, though – not like I'd expected them to. Zorn stared at me from his bed before turning his head and falling against the rock-hard mattress.

Alphonse raised an eyebrow, or at least I think he did – it was nigh impossible to see through the bubble of tears smearing my eyes. "Geez, Heulsuse, lighten up." He smirked. "Wenn wir eine Überschwemmung brauchen, werden wir Ihnen erzählen."

"No!" I blubbered through my hoarse throat and choking teardrops. "It's about Neid!"

"That's weird," Nina mused in a blatantly sarcastic manner. "He usually doesn't fuck the same person two days in a row. What a mystery…" She let out a hollow laugh and propped her body up upon her shoulder, staring intently at me. "So…"

"Th-there's this woman…!" I must've sounded absolutely pathetic – that seemed to be happening more and more often, to my dismay. "A-and sh-she was kissing him and h-he was ki-kissing her, and h-he didn't even men-mention us, l-like we don't e-even exist…" Sometime soon after that, I think I broke into hysterics; truth be told, it's all very murky, and I really can't say either way what occurred next.

What I do remember is that later, I was lying on a cot with Alphonse rubbing my side. "You sure do put up a fight when you're up to it," he told me with a smirk.

I wanted to ask him what he meant, but I bit my lip to remain silent. In all honesty, I didn't want to talk anymore. At all. And what better place to start than the Sklavenheim? The place where the man who betrayed me would come…

"You were ranting on about Neid's fiancé when you stormed in here," Alphonse told me. My eyes flicked towards his, pleading for an explanation, but using no words to say so. Hopefully Al would get the message.

It appeared he did, because he elaborated. "That woman you saw is named Lust. She's engaged to Neid, and they're going to get married when the Fuhrer takes the world. And before you ask, no, not even she knows about the Sklavenheim."

And it was then that my voice went against my direct orders. "You mean…you knew about this…?" Nods. "The…whole time…?" More nods.

"And you didn't do anything about it…?"

When I said that, Alphonse's eyes grew sad. Or tired. Or both. But whatever he felt I never found out – he merely got up and strolled away, near the mysterious stain, and began to quietly hum. I recognized the song as 'Nearer My God to Thee'. My mother had always played it on the piano for me when I was a child…

"What could we do…?"

I was thrown out of my memories and back into the real world, into that cold bed, by Nina's voice. I couldn't see her at all, but could surmise how she felt by the sad, weary tone of her voice. "What could we possibly do? Our fate is in his hands. As much as I hate him, as much as I abhor the fact that he wants another woman over me…My hands are tied."

After that, the Sklavenheim fell silent.

Around an hour later, as I was beginning to drift off to sleep, Zorn suddenly appeared in my line of vision. His dark hair fell in front of his face, obscuring almost both of his eyes. The boy's mouth opened to speak, but he didn't say anything. Reaching a hand out towards me, he pulled back with an almost snapping force, and left me alone. Not too soon after, I entered the world of dreams, my one and only bliss.

Komisch, wie naiver in der Mitte des Erfolgs sein kann. - Funny how naïve one can be in the midst of success.

dessen Formen unheimlich erfinderisch und furchterregend waren. - the forms of which were uncannily inventive and frightening.

"Sie sind die nur ein für mich, Lust." - "You're the only one for me, Lust."

Was tat er mit ihr? Waren wir für ihn nicht gut genug? - What was he doing with her? Weren't we good enough for him?

Heulsuse - Crybaby

"Wenn wir eine Überschwemmung brauchen, werden wir Ihnen erzählen." - "When we need a flood, we'll tell you."