Sorry that I haven't updated in a while!
Kon sighed; the day hadn't gone at all how he had planned. He had first tried to surprise the lovely Nee-san with a rose but was foiled by the simpleton thoughts of Ichigo. Since the Soul Reaper didn't have vases of flowers sitting around his house like a proper romantic (and since people would get most than freaked out if Kon tried to purchase some at the local grocery) he had to watch as his beautiful sweat heart traipsed out of the house, flowerless.
Though his rose attempt didn't work, Kon was not beaten. He then made up his mind to express his love of Rukia's astounding strength and sexiness through a wonderful poem. Surely after hearing his hearts longing, and seeing he was a man of many talents, she would instantly leave those fools Ichigo and Renji behind in the dust. This plan too he was sure would win her everlasting love except… Darn this degrading plush body! No opposable thumbs to grab a pen with.
Just when he believe that he was at the end of his rope, Orihime had come over, looking for Rukia. Kon had sadly told her that she was out at the store getting ingredients for dinner and she had smiled. At the time, the pompous side of him had figured it was because she had really come over to give herself to him but the rational side (a very small, very rarely seen thing) had told him that something was wrong.
"Why are you so sad?" She asked sitting down on the floor, her eyes seemed to hold a secret but at the time he was too caught up in his own sorrows to notice.
Kon hung his lion plush head pitifully, "I can't do anything for Nee-san. Everyday she gives me the pleasure of being able to see her and I can't even propose my love!"
At this point, Kon should have seen the hungry look in Orihime's eyes and started to back away slowly, maybe even call in backup but he was having his own delusion and didn't notice. "That's so sad!" Orihime burst out.
"It is?" Kon studied her face carefully (or rather what was below her face). "I mean, it is!" he let out a moan.
"I have a plan!" Orihime stood up, smacking one hand into the other forcefully.
"You do?"
She nodded, ideas clicking in her brain; working a new player into the game. "You'll get to be with Rukia and Ichigo will be mine!"
"What?" Kon sounded unsure.
"Trust me, it will all be fine."
The mod soul smiled pervertedly to himself, Nee-san would be all his. He would help Orihime, never mind the healers crazy look and weird motivation, and soon Rukia would be huggi- BAM! And that's when he blacked out.
As soon as Kon came to, from a very risqué dream about Nee-san that almost made his nose bleed for real (completely defying the whole 'plush toy' thing), he knew that some thing wasn't right. For one, Orihime was no where in sight and when he tried to yell for Ichigo he found that his mouth was duct taped shut. Going anywhere was also out of the question for he was tapped to something, moving wasn't possible. Suddenly, above him, he heard an unmistakable flush.
This chappie was more of a filler kind of thing and an explanation where Kon went amid all of Orihime's plans. It may not have been very productive but was fun to write :3