Sleepiness came, and sleepiness went. After leaving puddles on Zorn's sleeves, I was overcome with weariness, nervousness, and anxiety. 2nd in command of 14th Infantry…? In all honesty, it was quite a lot to swallow – perhaps too much to swallow. There was no doubt in my mind Neid's thinking had been rash and uncoordinated in his usual ecstasy after… My head shook from side to side. There was no way I was thinking about that this early in the morning…
Unfortunately, I had to have it float around my mind this early, because the 14th Infantry was heading out on a mission. Neid had said as much on his note to me, and though I should've been ready to expect anything, I couldn't consider so many possibilities. My head had been rattled by the execution of Nina and Alphonse, so much so that fear was seeping into me.
Why…? Why did anywhere I go have to end up reeking of the smell of death…?
"Es ist, was wir sind," Zorn replied when I posed the question to him. We didn't even look at each other as we talked – slipping out of our Sklavenheim clothing and into our military apparel required us looking and concentrating on our bodies. "Ed, as much as we aren't, we still are in this army. We're the harbingers of death, so it makes sense that wherever we go gets soaked in blood. As much as we hate it, I'm beginning to think we're alone in our loathing…" And my entire being was so thankful Lyra wasn't there to hear Zorn's mutinous comment – she'd been pulled out of the Sklavenheim earlier by Neid, most likely for one of his sick sessions.
"How can no one see what's being done?" I asked, a bit bewildered. "Has everyone gone insane, and we're the only sane ones left…?"
"Everybody's a bit insane," Zorn told me. "There was a time when I looked up to Neid; there was a time you thought being in this army was like being a liberator. We just pulled the shade up."
I had to concede that point to him. It felt like an eternity ago when I first enlisted, and back then, I thought I was going to be doing a service. Only I thought it was going to be a noble service.
I was still performing a service.
Ein Dienst des Todes.
The entirety of 14th Infantry was gathered there in one of the meeting halls, standing in perfect attention and watching on with eyes that bordered on indoctrinated at their commander, their emperor, their God – Neid didn't have to wear the sun God outfit in order to have all the soldiers become marionettes stringed to his lithe fingers. They would lay themselves in the line of fire for him without a second thought; if he pointed out to a target, they would shoot; if he told them to eat each other, then, by God, they would feast. It was as if Neid had truly brainwashed them, and Zorn and I had only recently awoke from the stupor it induced. Neid was dangerous; if there really was a Devil, he was the closest thing to it anyone would ever get to on Earth.
Und ich musste neben ihm stehen. I had to will my shoulders not to shake, or else they most certainly would. Saying I was uncomfortable would be an enormous understatement – I was scared out of my mind. At any moment, Neid could snap, and I would be closest to him, or, in other words, the person he'd take his wrath out upon. Also, a queasy feeling was running through me because of the soldiers I looked at. If they weren't so busy directing their attention at their leader, then I guaranteed they'd be glaring at me. After all, I'd stolen so many promotions, and cut off quite a few people in order to become 2nd in command. And it was a position I didn't even want.
Keeping my mind on holding my body back from shaking, I strained my ears to listen to what Neid was saying.
"The Fuhrer has given us a most important mission." His voice, though calm and collected, was booming. Its volume was enough to reverberate around the room and its assembly, bouncing back to me so that I had to hear it three, four times for each sentence. "But, my brave mates, it doesn't involve shooting."
The thought of not shooting caused immediate dissent to ripple through the crowd of trigger happy soldiers. I watched helplessly as arguments popped up from every which way, all of them about them wanting to kill "enemy Stücke". What was I looking at…? Were these people even human…? How could they be so incensed about not being able to kill?
Peering into the crowd, I saw someone who wasn't partaking in the loud hum of disappointment – Zorn. He was standing where he had been the whole time, in ready position, his eyes fixed upon the ground at Neid's feet. I couldn't place the emotion in those eyes. After a minute, I gave up; perhaps there wasn't any feeling in Zorn's eyes at all. Perhaps he was covering them up. Whatever it was, he was doing a good job of not getting on Neid's nerves.
Unfortunately, the other troops weren't being so careful. Neid growled, then barked. "Schweigen!" Immediately, everyone stopped talking and turned to him, standing at the ready. There wasn't a rustle in the crowd. Neid relaxed a bit; just a bit. "That's better." He shook his head and ran a few fingers through his hair underneath his officer's cap before continuing. "We're going on a rather routine mission to Freiburg. Our commands are simply – do a check of the place, and make sure it is loyal to the Fuhrer. When we're done, I'll report back in, and we'll take things from there."
By the look in his eyes, I was certain that there was something Neid wasn't letting on about. That gleam in his purple eyes said it all – he knew something we didn't, and he was relishing in the fact that he did. Withholding information from us probably made him feel even more like God.
"I want to see all of you outside and ready to go in half an hour," Neid commanded. "Until then, you're all dismissed." Even as he was saying this, he was jumping down from the platform he spoke on, striding into the crowd of people moving towards the doors. With a swipe of his talons, he grabbed Zorn by the forearm and drug him back over to where I was standing, not sure of whether I should've gone or not. Neid took Zorn over to the platform, pushed him up onto it, and hopped up himself. Bringing the two of us together, he whispered into our ears.
"Lyra's coming along with us," he said, making sure that we were both attentive. He didn't go on until both Zorn and I nodded. "On something that's going to be this long-term, I'm not going to leave her alone here. Too much trouble, too much risk."
I gave a silent gasp as Zorn talked back to Neid. "Yeah, and how are you going to convince her commander to let her go with you?"
Neid chuckled darkly in response. His arm jerked, and both Zorn's and my eyes floated down to his hand, which was resting upon his pistol. That sick feeling in my stomach arose once again as I stared at the gun. "Her commander was very…open to persuasion," Neid assured us. "Isn't it silly how quickly some people change their minds when staring down the barrel of their death…?" He laughed louder now. "Poor, poor Basque." His eyes held no remorse as he faked lamentation. "They can search for a hundred years, and they'll never find your body…"
My gut felt like exploding. Had…had Neid just killed an infantry commander in order to preserve the Sklavenheim…? Das war…das war absolut Nüsse. Forget Neid being a maniac; he was a psychopath, and I could barely believe that I was just inches from him. My heart was throwing itself against my chest, and I could clearly hear each and every frantic beat of it. I closed my eyes and wished that everything would just go away…
When I reopened my eyes, I saw a set of purple eyes staring back at me. Neid's face was mere centimeters from my own. My heart gave a yelp and came close to stopping. There was a malicious look in Neid, something I couldn't place; just because I couldn't figure it out, though, didn't mean I wasn't wholly frightened of it.
Neid leaned forward and chastely let his lips brush against my own. It was a movement that sent chills up my spine. Pulling back, my commanding officer said, "Everyone does include you and Zorn." He patted my back, a gesture that said get going. Zorn and I took the hint and sprinted away from Neid.
I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
We walked. We'd been walking for hours and miles, taking perhaps one short break along the way.
I had my Karabiner rifle in my left hand, and was walking in the fashion of everyone in the army. Of course, Neid paid no attention to rules; he merely strode along at a comfortable pace, hands behind his back, looking back every so often to make sure we weren't breaking the rules. Wie nett von ihm…
The sun was beating down upon us for the past few hours, making my sweat pores explode. My uniform, the twisting mixture of ebony and satin black sticking to me; the small threads that hung out of the swastika sewn into the left sleeve of my uniform tickled and poked at my skin in the most annoying way possible. However, I could do nothing about either of these things. Even though I was a second-in-command, to do anything while walking besides walking was a surefire way to be punished. And this wasn't anywhere near his peers – Neid would be rougher, eviler; he could take me into a woods and do unspeakable things, and let me scream as loud as I could.
A shudder ran through my body as these thoughts crossed my mind, but I did as much as I could to subdue it. I couldn't give any sign of fright to my sadistic commander, lest I speed up what was still (as far as I knew) a good week or so off. Quickly, I let my eyes wander around, to think of something, anything, to get my mind off of that subject.
What of the mission we were going on? As far as I knew (and that was what Neid had told me and the other soldiers) it was going to be a simple checkup run. Nothing out of the ordinary. This town was practically off the radar, so what use did it have to the Fuhrer? Either they were too afraid to stand up to the German government and its military, or they were the other end of the spectrum – sick with loyalty to the Fuhrer. Maybe he wanted to do a check and make sure none of that loyalty had dwindled…
Whatever the reason, we were going, and nothing could stop that. It was…part of the reason I was beginning to feel afraid.
It was like walking into a trap with no way out.
A few hours later, we arrived at Freiburg. As soon as I laid eyes on it, one thought popped into my head.
Bored.
Bored out of my mind. The village was so unrelentingly bleak that it seemed to bleed gray. There was a multitude of clouds in the sky, blocking out the sunlight that everyone had been so accustomed to on our trip. So a light darkness washed over everything as far as we could see.
Huts were here, and huts were there. Sometimes we'd see a small bit of actual architecture, some metalwork that popped out for a brief instant before melting into the blandness of Freiburg. Etwas anderes war Feld. The village appeared to be a gigantic field that was growing, instead of grass, small houses. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Cautiously, I stole a glance back at Zorn. I could see hair standing up on the back of his neck, the parts that were exposed because he was made to put his hair up. The look in his eyes said it all – he was absolutely revolted. And I couldn't blame him. Turning back, I wished I was anywhere else at the moment.
…Well, I would probably (definitely) take Freiburg over Neid's office or the Sklavenheim any day. But other than those two Godforsaken places, nowhere else could be as bad. To put things in a bit of perspective, I would prefer drowning over the pitiful village.
Neid took a few strides ahead, leaning his head upwards to the sky and taking in a deep breath of air. When he turned around, I could see that even he was faking his smile. "Look at this…!" he exclaimed through a sigh, his voice horribly fake. "Doesn't it make you want to…to…"
"Puke…?" I heard someone behind me whisper. Whoever he was talking to gave a short laugh before acting like nothing had happened.
"Well, this is where we were headed," Neid continued with a cough. He had dropped all his "enthusiasm," and was showing just how sour he felt. His eyes were half-closed and dull, and his lips were curled into a frown. "Our job is a relatively simple one – Einschätzung. We are going to evaluate this village – nowhere in that word do I see the words 'shoot' or 'murder'. Do I make myself clear?"
Once again, dissatisfied grumbles flowed through the crowd of soldiers. But as Neid held up a gloved hand, everyone shut their mouths. He stared at us for a minute, as though daring someone to speak up, before he went on. "So talk to people – get opinions, then report them to me. I – no, the Fuhrer – wants to know what these villagers think. It is very vital to what he has planned." What did the Fuhrer have planned…? I had no idea, but I had been right: Neid was hiding something. "If I don't get the truth, heads are going to roll." Once again, his eyes scanned us. "So get to work."
He disappeared to the right, behind a hut, as the soldiers milled around for a moment. Finally, we all began to move around. Zorn immediately caught up to me.
"What do we do?"
"Well, I…I guess we go talk to people." But this, by no means, was going to be easy. As Zorn and I went up to a hut, we saw people inside. A father, mother, and two little girls… A lump built up in my throat. It was like looking back into the past, to Abraham and Carmela. I froze right there, and when I batted an eye downwards, I saw that Zorn wasn't moving, either.
When the mother noticed us outside, she got up a bit abruptly. Moving over to the hut's one window that faced Zorn and I, she pulled a cloth over the opening. They were hidden from our view.
…No, this was not going to be easy at all…
"Es ist, was wir sind" - "It's what we are"
Ein Dienst des Todes - A service of death
Und ich musste neben ihm stehen - And I had to stand next to him
"Schweigen!" - "Silence!"
Das war…das war absolut Nüsse - This was…this was absolutely nuts
Wie nett von ihm… - How nice of him…
Etwas anderes war Feld - Everything else was field
Einschätzung - evaluation