Jane held her face hidden in Maura's hair as her lover guided her to their bedroom. It was all she could do to keep her tears hidden until they were in private, even now the last thing she wanted was her family to see her cry. It was bad enough that Maura had seen it. And Kate. She didn't want anyone else to know how weak she was becoming.

Once secluded in their room, Maura guided them to the bed and lied down with her. As Jane finally released her turmoil, Maura held her tightly. A few minutes later her tears subsided.

She sniffled hard, "I hate it when you see me cry."

Maura gently stroked her hands through her fiancé's mass of black, curly hair. "I know."

"I'm supposed to be the strong one, the one who keeps you safe. I'm the one supposed to be holding you when you cry." She said, her face still hidden.

"We hold each other when we need it, Jane." She whispered. "You are the strongest woman I know and we've been through hell. I would be more concerned if you didn't need this once in a while."

"I wanted to hit him, Maura." Jane cried. "I saw it all the way through, where and how to hit him to knock him out and it scared me because I wanted to do it. I thought he might harm you or our family."

"It's alright Jane. I heard some of what was said and I know that Lieutenant Cavanaugh went out to intervene."

Jane pulled back to stare into her fiancé's eyes, "He threatened Cavanaugh and I reacted. LT isn't my father, but I defended him as if he was, against my real dad."

Maura had no words of comfort as Jane lowered her face again, "My own dad. I took my old boss's side against my own Pop."

"Sean is important to your mother, Jane." She said as she started to roll the truth. "Your father hasn't been very good to you or your family over the last three years. Sean Cavanaugh has been here for you and your brothers and for your mother ever since Frank had walked out. That means something."

She stroked Jane's back through the dress, tracing Jane's skin where the racer back strap showed her shoulders.

"What does it mean, Maura?" Jane said as she eased up to look at her again.

Maura wiped a tear from Jane's cheek tenderly. "It means that Sean Cavanaugh is more family than you give him credit for. Look at what Ma has done these past two years. She took her agony and her pain and made something better out of it. She loves Kate and Jordan like they were her own. Two women who lost their mothers and Ma told me that she did it because they needed a mother to love them. She says that everyone needs family. I think it is also that she needed to feel like she was useful, that people could still love her. She made us into something that no one can take away from us."

Jane looked down, her sadness subsiding and replaced with an almost childlike curiosity. "What did she make us, Maura?"

Maura cupped that strong jaw with both hands, "She made us into a family; a family that I cannot wait to have the name of."

Jane leaned down and Kissed Maura gently, "How do you do that?"

Genuinely confused Maura looked up at her. "Do what?"

"How do you always know what to say to make me feel better?" She asked in awe. "It's like you're inside my head and you can see exactly what I need."

Maura pulled the straps over Jane's shoulder, "Because I love you. My heart tells me what you need and it can't lie either."

"That sounds so cheesy but I get it." Jane groaned as she fell to the mattress, "I knew this dinner was going to go bad."

"Badly," Maura corrected with a loving smile, "Because of Frank's opinion of us?"

"That was part of it." She said as she opened her arms and welcomed Maura into her embrace. "He thought that it was over back then. I just wish it hadn't happened the day I proposed to you."

Maura shifted slightly and traced her fingers around the side of the dress next to Jane's breasts. "It must have been awful if it caused you to hide from yourself." Jane winced slightly at the memory. "Would you like to tell me about it?"

Jane closed her eyes as she thought about how to explain her life. She didn't want to but after tonight she felt that her soon-to-be wife should know. She debated in her head so long that Maura thought she wouldn't answer. The doctor was about to let it go since it had to be traumatic and was surprised when Jane did start to speak.

"I hit puberty around 12 years old and I had my first period a few weeks later. Like any mother would, Ma had that riveting conversation with me about periods, boobs, sex, and hair between my legs." Jane rolled her eyes, "Naturally I was just thrilled to have that talk. I was always a rough and tumble tomboy and never wanted to be anything but one of the guys. While all my girlfriends started to wear dresses and make up and talk about which boys they liked at school, I was still out with the boys, riding bikes, playing sports and seriously rocking the whole 'one of us but different' thing. Even though I don't have much in the way of tits, I still had to change some things. I had to keep pads in my locker at school, wear bras and eventually I had to cave in and start shaving my legs."

Maura smiled, "It sounds like a typical Jane Rizzoli, tomboy story."

"It was for a while." She said, "I lost a lot of girls as my friends and it didn't matter because I was still one of the guys and I always had more fun with them anyway. You know that I was a chunky girl for a long time and being active is what helped me hold on as my metabolism changed too. One of my best friends growing up was Gina Grant."

Maura looked at her, "Is she related to Lieutenant Grant?"

Jane nodded, "His younger sister. She was the last friend I had that was a girl. But I'm not there yet so don't get ahead of me."

"I'm sorry, please continue." Maura apologized as she went back to running her fingers along Jane's hard abs.

Jane smiled at the touch, "So anyway, when Ma told me that I was going to have these thoughts about boys and sex and all that I tuned her out for the most part. I knew what she was trying to say and I was just going to handle it on my own like I had been since I turned nine."

"Were you attracted to boys?" Maura asked.

"No." Jane answered quietly, "I said that I was because I didn't want to be any different from my friends aside from being more interested in sports instead of makeup. I was starting to think there was something wrong with me since I didn't talk like all my girlfriends did. Anyway, there was a dance at school and Gina wanted me to come over and see her dress so I came over. I wanted to ask her about these things because she was like my best friend since the third grade. Anyway she showed me the dress and then she took off her clothes and put the dress on. We did these kinds of things all the time but this one time it was different. I was standing there as she pulled that dress over her head and I was staring at her body and I realized that my heart was pounding and I was having a hard time breathing."

Maura's hand stopped moving as she heard the emotion in Jane's voice.

"Gina was gorgeous and it was the very first time that I ever thought about sex, like desired to have sex. She posed in front of me in that tight blue dress and I remember my mouth watering. I'd never experienced that before and I got caught up in it. She caught me staring at her chest and smiled, she said 'I know, my boobs are getting so big and this dress makes them look so nice, right?'"

Maura sat up and leaned on her elbow so she could look down at Jane. "What did you say, my love?"

Jane looked at her and Maura watched her pulse dance beneath the scar on her neck. "I couldn't say anything. I just nodded at her. Next thing I know, Gina's got her dress pulled down and is showing them to me. She smiles and says, 'Don't worry Jane, your mom's got big boobs so you'll get some big ones too. My mom says boys like the big ones.' She was cupping them right in front of me and I lost it for a minute. I reached out to touch one and Gina let me. They were so much bigger than mine and the next thing I remember was Joey barging into Gina's room while I was trying to kiss her. He caught my lips on hers and he started wailing with laughter as he ran out of the room to tell their mom and his friends. 'Frog Face Rizzoli likes kissing girls.' That was what I heard all week in school. Gina almost died from the embarrassment of it and to make it worse, Joey told Father Rossi, our priest before Father Crowley, about how the Rizzoli girl was a homosexual.

"I managed to keep it out of our home until Sunday when Father Rossi told Pop about it. At thirteen years old I got my last spanking with his belt, called every dirty name in the book, and some more about Satan and hellfire and how if I don't change I was going to hell and how he wouldn't let his only daughter become a queer. He made me repent and recite the Hail Mary prayer in English, Latin, and Italian to the cross during mass every Sunday for a month starting from our arrival and ending when we left Mass.

"During that time I was also grounded to my room with nothing but the Bible and my homework. It was the only time I can ever remember my father being irrational growing up. Aside from that one time he had always been a good dad to me and if that wasn't traumatic enough, Gina never spoke to me again until graduation day, when she told me that she never told anyone about what happened and that it was all Joey. She said she tried to defend me to her parents saying that it wasn't what Joey thought it was and that she was sorry that she didn't stick up for me at Mass."

Maura kissed Jane gently, "What did you say to Gina?"

"I told her that I didn't care. That I made a mistake and repented for it and then I walked away." Jane sniffled slightly and wiped at an eye, "I never wanted to go through that again so I denied it and I pushed it down and kept it locked away. Even as an adult, I bought into it that I didn't want to shame my dad or my family. I kept my faith and my family and I became a cop and that was all I needed. I tried to be straight but it always made me feel broken. Every time I woke up with one of them I hated myself for letting them into my body. Eventually I just thought I was broken and forgot about Gina and all of it. It became so natural to assume that I was straight and just… broken.

Jane looked over to Maura and cupped the blonde's face gently. "And then I met you and you were being so nice to me while I was dressed up like a goddamn hooker. It was like the smallest chip in a windshield. I felt so pulled to you that when I went down to the morgue that first day in Homicide and I saw it was you, I couldn't help it, I asked you out to lunch on pure instinct. I was so drawn to you that it was scary. That tiny chip in the windshield became a tiny crack and as we got closer and Kate and Liv started to push me, that crack got bigger and bigger until it all broke loose and I couldn't hide it from you." She took Maura's hand with the engagement ring on it and kissed the knuckle right above the ruby, "And now I am at peace with myself for the first time since I was thirteen years old and I have you to thank for it."

Maura cupped the brunette's face ever so gently. "Where was Ma when all of this happened?"

"She was there offering me comfort and support, but she grew up old school Italian catholic so she saw it as a sin too. She was just a lot nicer about it than Pop was. She stuck me in all kinds of dresses and introduced me to her friends' sons and tried to get me on the right path. But even then she was ashamed because Ma's friend Carla Talucci was a gossip and the rumors were flying about me for a while. What I didn't know at the time was that Pop's treatment of me is what Ma rammed down his throat about drinking and he gave up bourbon for years, at least until the cancer. Now I think he sees history repeating itself and he's not handling it well."

Jane looked deep into Maura's eyes, "He was a good dad, Maur. He was but this one thing is the only really bad memory I have growing up. I remember all of the trips we took as a family and how he always supported me when I wanted to be a cop and how he was there when I needed my dad. Things sucked when business was bad but they were good when it was good."

Maura lied herself down along Jane's body. "I take it that this happened when your father's business wasn't doing well."

Jane turned away, "Yeah. It's not an excuse Maura; what he did to me was wrong but he always thought he was doing the right thing and I can't hate him for that." She sighed heavily, "Especially when I've killed people to do the right thing."

She felt a tight grip on her chin and her head was jerked to face Maura, "Listen to me Jane. You are an amazing, wonderful person. Your job is a hard one, particularly for women and I truly cannot fathom the strength of character that you possess to do it day in and day out, you and Kate both. Often your job is ugly and it makes you do ugly things but you stand for Justice above all else and that's one of the things about you that I admire so much. You are as dedicated to justice for the victims and the families, as I am to science and empirical evidence and that dedication is one of your most phenomenal qualities and I have no doubt that you have done the right thing, even when you've stepped over the line to do it."

Jane smiled, "You, future Dr. Rizzoli, are biased."

"I am, emotionally, but the science and the evidence are conclusive, Jane Rizzoli. You have been found guilty for the high crime of being a person of conscience and integrity. That is never something you should be ashamed of."

Despite the rawness of the evening, Jane laughed. She couldn't help it. Maura was the sweetest person she knew and she thanked God for bringing them together.

"If I've been found guilty then what is my sentence?"

Maura got that gleam in her eyes and her voice got authoritative, "You will continue to demonstrate your love to your family and the world in general and you will accept that you are, in turn, loved dearly. Sentence is to be carried out immediately by allowing your future wife to make passionate love to you."

Jane groaned mockingly; "Oh no, anything but that!"

Maura's smile lit the room, "Submit to me Jane Clementine Rizzoli. You have been sentenced." She took hold of Jane's dress and shimmied it up Jane's body, revealing the lace thong. Maura's eyes went from twinkling to burning in an instant as she hungrily licked her lips. "These stay on but the rest goes."

Jane sat up and grabbed the dress, yanked it over her head and tossed it to the floor. If a flimsy black thong made Maura look at her that way, she'd buy stock in Victoria's Secret just to get a discount. She'd need it as she would stuff her dresser full of the uncomfortable things.

New York City, Sunday

Kate plopped down in Jane's recliner and sighed heavily. She couldn't wait for her partner to get back and relieve her so she could go home and patch up with Rick. This morning had been hell as she had taken care of the worst hangover she had ever witnessed Liv to have. There was a very good reason that Jane was the only one who saw Liv in the morning at LETO. The others had washed their hands of it, each in turn having had their head bitten off by the grumpy Lieutenant.

As she sipped at Maura's herbal blend of coffee she sighed. She had been scrubbing the bathroom floor for almost an hour to get the alcohol soaked spew from the floor. It was so rancid that Kate was worried that the tile work would melt or the paint on the walls would start peeling. Maura might be the sweetest person she had ever met, but even the kind doctor had her limits.

She groaned as Liv staggered out into the kitchen. She hoped that Liv was feeling more like herself.

"Coffee is set up already," she said quietly. "Just push the flashing blue button."

Liv nodded and pushed the button. A few seconds later the coffee poured out of the machine and into the cup. She sighed heavily at the aroma.

Kate watched her friend carefully but just like in Springfield, Liv only came out as her usual self, although this version of Liv seemed to have the weight of the world on her shoulders. Olivia took the cup out of the machine and padded silently to the couch. She had to step around the massive turtle that sat near the end of the couch where Jane was known to sit.

Liv sat down and the huge reptile scooted away from her.

"You want to talk about it?" Kate asked.

"Not really." Liv replied. "But I should."

Kate nodded, "I'm here, babe."

Liv nodded back, "I know."

"Your stoli is in the fridge when you go home. I'd take it with me if I were you because Jane's just going to dump it down the drain."

Liv sighed, "I don't want to go home."

Something had happened to her and Alex, Kate would bet Yankee tickets on it. Even she was getting tired of how the ADA was treating her friend and Kate tended to stay out of her friends' relationships as a rule.

"I'm not going to drag it out of you Liv." She said.

Again the older brunet sighed. She set her coffee down and brushed her hair out of her face before closing her eyes. "Alex and I are finished."

"She'll be back."

Liv turned away, "It's done. I don't want to do it anymore."

Oh this is bad. This is really going to suck. "Okay. Well when you're ready, I'll be here for you and so will Jane and Maura."

"Jane and Maura." Liv snorted, "It's so easy for them isn't it?"

"How so?"

"They are so in love, the Doctor and the Detective. They don't fight, they don't argue, they never seem to have to work for it. It just comes naturally to them." Liv shook her head and looked at her friend. "We know what it's like though to have relationships that you have to work at. We know what it's like to go to bed angry, or to go to bed alone. To suffer and bleed to try to make it work."

Kate bristled at Liv's condescending tone. "You don't know them at all."

"Of course I do." She said. "I see them just like you do."

Kate sat her coffee down and glared, "Then you know everything they went through to get to where they are. Hell Liv, you were there for it the same as I was over the last year and a half. Remember how Jane wouldn't even get out of bed because she couldn't face that she was in love with someone who she thought didn't love her. You knew that I was there to hold Jane, night after night, when she and Maura split. You talk as if it has all been a bed of roses for them. Remember all those times one of us found Jane passed out in an ice cold shower? Remember all those times when we had to be there for her when she was in pain. How about the time when Maura was shot, remember that?! Jesus Christ, Liv, they've had it harder than any of us!"

"Maura gave up everything for Jane." She said quietly.

"And Alex has been a first rate ass to you." She barked. "Unlike Jane, Alex knew she was gay the whole of her life and she chose to stay in the closet. If her love for you wasn't strong enough to put her pretty little ass out on the line for you then I say fuck her. She's not worth it. Maura gave up her job for Jane, not her career. She's still a doctor and she's still an ME. She reinvented her job and became a teacher for Jane."

Kate stood up and sat next to her. "Alex is still a lawyer. She could go into a private practice or stay in the DA's office. But she chose a job over you, a job she hasn't even landed yet. Don't you get it Liv? I know you love her but damn it, you're a beautiful, successful woman who has more medals on her dress uniform than me and my partner combined. You've given her ten years of your life and it wasn't good enough so now she can do without the blessing of having you in her life. I, for one, love you dearly and will not make that mistake. Neither will Jane nor Maura. You are family and I know Alex is distinguished but family history, wealth, and political favor don't mean a fucking thing at home."

"It's her family that's the problem, at least that's what she said. She runs away from us because she doesn't want to shame her family."

"Ask Jane how being ashamed of being gay worked out for her. Oh wait, you know that story, too. We were there for that episode and many more just like it."

Liv frowned and looked at Kate, "Why are you comparing my relationship to Jane's?"

"You opened the door, babe." Kate said sharply. "You started the comparison; I'm just making sure you remember all of it correctly. You of all people know what Jane has gone through since the night we met her. You were there for it, the same as I was. Jane's had a fucked up life and the only thing that kept her from eating her own gun was her family, her friendship with Maura and over the last five years, you and me. So don't come over here jealous that they're working out and you didn't. Don't put that on them because they don't deserve it. After all the shit they went through, apart and together, they deserve to be happy."

Kate's words brought humiliation with every sentence and Liv was ashamed of herself. Kate was right and it was one of the things she respected about her friend, she called it as she saw it and she had just cried foul on her. Her tears started again and soon she cupped her face as Kate put an arm over her.

"I just wanted to love her and be with her." Liv cried out, "What is so wrong with me that I can't find it?"

Kate pulled the sobbing woman into her arms, "Not a damn thing Liv. You were never the problem in your relationship, she was. She was the one who couldn't butch up and take responsibility for being in love."

Olivia opened her mouth but Kate cut her off. "Yeah, yeah, I know you're Butch Benson. So what? She couldn't cowgirl up than that's her problem. Your problem is that now you got to dig out your big girl panties and keep going. I know it hurts, I know it sucks but the very fact that you're not tearing my ass up over what I've said means you know I'm right."

Liv looked up and sniffled, "Actually I'm still pretty drunk from last night. I'd hit you if I could figure out which of the two of you is the real Kate."

Kate laughed at her friend's humor; it was a good sign. "Just give it time and don't do anything stupid. Okay?"

Liv's phone rang then. The ringtone caught both of them off guard as Kate retrieved it from between the couch cushions.

"Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind."

Kate looked at the image on the touch screen and handed it to Liv, "Now that is an appropriate ringtone."

Alexandra Cabot was calling. Liv flicked it to voicemail and tossed the phone down on the table. "I need to get away for a week." She said, "Alex is going to DC for two weeks but she won't leave until Friday."

"We'll talk to Jane and Maura about you staying here for a few days while I fix my relationship with Castle. You're welcome to stay with us after that."

Liv nodded, "Even though I can't figure out if I want to punch left Kate or right Kate, you are still a good friend."

Kate's phone beeped and she pulled it out and looked at the text message.

She said yes! Home around seven.

"And now is your chance to be a good friend; they're coming home around seven." She looked at her friend, "Maura said yes."

A sad smile cracked along Liv's face. "Like there was a doubt about what she'd say."

Kate laughed, "Right."

Around seven o'clock, Jane and Maura came through the door with their hands splayed upon each other and their lips locked. The door shut and they almost fell to the floor in their haste to get their boots off.

Kate tapped at her laptop and calmly said, "You're not alone."

Jane looked up from unbuttoning her vest and froze at her partner's voice. "Try not to take this personally but, what the hell are you doing here?"

Kate shook her head as Maura straightened her shirt while standing up. "I tried to call you but I guess you've been…" she looked them up and down, "Occupied. Congratulations by the way."

Jane groaned as she refastened her riding vest. Maura kissed her, "Thank you Kate. Jane was amazingly romantic." She dragged a finger down Jane's jaw and her lover shivered.

"Okay, save it for those private calls and lunches." Jane said as she finished kicking off her boots. "So, you and Castle fighting again or something?"

"Oh we're fighting alright, "Kate muttered, "But we're fighting over me being here for Liv."

Jane and Maura both stared at her.

"Liv and Alex broke up and it looks like it's for real this time. I found Liv tanked on your couch and she doesn't want to go home."

A look from Maura and Jane nodded, "She can stay as long as she needs."

Maura agreed instantly, "Yes, we know how hard it can be."

Kate nodded, "Good. And on that note, I need to go home so I can try to calm down a certain writer."

"Where's Liv at?" Jane asked.

Kate grabbed her bag and laptop, "She's out cold in the guest room." She left without so much as a good bye and it told Jane how bad Liv's drinking had been.

After kissing Maura briefly, Jane went to check on Liv and found her resting quietly. Her ribs rose and fell with regularity and she stirred lightly as Jane placed a hand on the carotid artery on her neck. Her pulse was steady and even. She grimaced as she caught sight of the empty bottle of Liv's favorite vodka. She'd better warn Maura to stay out of here in the morning. Liv was always a beast to everyone but Jane when she was hung over and she didn't want her love to see that and resent the woman more.