* Here's an update for you all! *

"Noah, sweetie, you have to eat your breakfast." The little boy laughed at his mother, flinging his spoon around instead of using it to eat his oatmeal.

"Play, mama." Noah struggled against his high chair.

Olivia let out a deep breath, trying to not let her temper get the best of her; she knew he was only being a normal two year old, but she just needed a little cooperation this morning. "You can play later buddy. Right now it's time for breakfast. See Rae is eating her food."

"Rae eat!" The big brother watched his little sister drink her meal in Olivia's arms, before he took his spoon and ate a large spoonful of his oatmeal. "Noah eat, too!"

"Good boy. Keep eating and then you can play with Lucy while mama goes to work."

Work, however, wasn't exactly where Olivia was headed. She would end up there eventually, but her first priority was returning to the hospital and hope that she would be allowed to see her boyfriend. She was trying not to get her hopes up because she had done that once and they had been crushed, but she couldn't stop herself from grasping at the thought of being able to see Rafael alive and well.

Noah stopped shoveling his food in his mouth. "Mama play too?"

"Yeah; but you and mama will play tonight." Liv placed Raegan's empty bottle on the table and put the baby over her shoulder, patting her back gently.

"Mama and Rafi will play."

The mom sighed, looking into her sons big hopeful brown eyes. That had become the norm for her son, mama got home and Rafael was usually with her or already there. And that had been good for both of them. A schedule, some normality, it was something that during his first few months of life hadn't been there and sometimes with Olivia as commanding officer, his own mother hadn't been able to give him. Rafael had helped make constancy in their lives; they all needed that back.

"Mama is going to play. I don't think Rafi will be back yet buddy." Olivia hated to break the news to her son. "But maybe we can go see Rafi tomorrow."

That morning's conversation with Noah replayed and replayed in her head as she drove to the hospital and as she walked the halls of the third floor, making her way to a nurse's station.

"Ma'am what can I do for you?" A nurse in purple scrubs stared up at the sergeant.

"Can you tell me if Rafael Barba is here?"

"I certainly can." The woman gave her a cheerful smile, like she was more than happy to answer the question. "It looks like he's in room 322. If you head straight through those double doors and take the first right, the room will be a little ways down the hall."

On her way to the doors that lead to where she would find Rafael, Olivia was stopped by the doctor she had seen the night before.

"I see you're back this morning." The doctor commented. "I don't think I caught your name last night."

"It's Olivia."

The doctor nodded as he took in the information. "Well I'm glad to see you again. I'm sure that Rafael will be thrilled to see someone."

"Is he doing alright?" Liv asked.

With a motion of his hand, the doctor moved Liv past the doors, so that their conversation could be a little more private. "He's doing quite well. All of the tests we ran last night come back clear. He does have a small concussion, but it's not much to worry about and it doesn't seem to be bothering him. He's sore from the surgery, but he's not in too much pain. From the looks of it, I would say that he'll be going home in the next couple of days."

She took her time walking to Rafael's room after her conversation with the doctor. Olivia wanted nothing more than to see him and she was happy to hear he was doing so well, but she also wasn't quite ready to admit that she made a mistake in blaming Rafael for not telling her about the trial. She overreacted; she shouldn't have done what she did, and now she had to face the consequences. All she could hope was that Rafael wouldn't hold a grudge.

The handle of the door felt cold in her hand as she turned it. She pushed the door open slowly, not sure exactly what would be waiting on the other side for her. However, she was greeted by a rather regular hospital room in which Barba laid in the bed in the center. There were a few monitors near the bed and the IV in Rafael's hand was attached to a bag that sat next to the bed.

His head and been turned away from the door, towards the window in the room, but as soon as he heard the door open he turned his head to see who was coming in. He had expected his doctor or another nurse, but he was much happier to see Olivia watching him from the doorway.

"Liv." Rafael's voice was quiet, but in the silence of the hospital room, Olivia could hear him loud and clear.

"How are you feeling?" Liv walked up closer to the bed, holding back slightly as to not overstep.

A small smile came across his face. "Better now that you're here."

The answer was like a wave of relief crashing over her. "I'm so sorry for what happened. I'm so sorry, Rafael."

"Olivia Benson, what are you apologizing for?" Rafael's questioned baffled the sergeant.

"I was… I was rude and inconsiderate and I overreacted. I should never have treated you that way that night. You didn't deserve it. I was upset and the thought of another trial where I'm considered the victim terrifies me. But none of that is your fault. I know that you had the best intentions; I should have trusted that you didn't do anything to purposefully upset me. You mean more to me than some trial ever will and I was stupid to put our relationship in jeopardy over it."

Rafael allowed Liv's words to settle for a moment. He had never been mad at her; he understood her feelings. All he had wished was that she would share them with him, that she would feel comfortable enough to let him help her through a difficult time. And in that moment, Rafael knew how much courage it was taking Olivia to share her apologies and open up to him. It meant more to him than she would probably ever realize.

"You do realize that you could have just told me how you felt, right? I was never mad at you. I was upset that instead of letting me help, you just shut me out. I thought we had gotten passed that point; I thought that you felt comfortable enough to let me do that." Rafael reached his hand out; Olivia understood his cue and put her own hand onto his. "You don't have to be the strongest person in the room all the time. Sometimes you have to give yourself a break. And I know that maybe you don't always feel like you can do that with the team, it's understandable, but I want to be the person you feel like you can relax around, that you feel like you can finally open up to."

Olivia stared in disbelief at the man lying before her. "Has anybody ever told you that you're too great for your own good?"

"No they haven't but I think I kind of like it." The infamous Barba smirk covered his face.

The couple didn't get to spend enough time together before Olivia received a call from Nick telling her that they had caught a case and she needed to meet them at the crime scene. Although their time was cut short, both of them were just happy to be back on the same page. Their relationship was important to them, neither wanted to be without it.

"Mama look Rae." Noah giggled at his little sister.

Olivia's day had been long and stressful after she left the hospital; she found her son's happiness to be the perfect relief. "What is it Noah?"

However, the spit up that was covering the baby girl's onsie and causing her to wail was not what the mom had expected. It made the decision for it to be bath time rather easy. Noah took his time splashing around in the bath tub, playing with the bubbles and all of the toys he insisted come into the tub with him. Raegan had been an easy clean as usual and had fallen asleep almost before Liv could finish dressing her in her pajamas.

"Mama, Nemo." Noah snuggled up to his mom with his stuffed turtle held close.

As a special treat for her son, and a little bit for herself too, Liv had decided that after bath time, she would let Noah lie in her bed and watch a movie until he fell asleep. He had chosen his favorite, so the two were watching Finding Nemo while Raegan slept in her bassinet at the end of the bed.

Just as Olivia was thinking that Noah had finally fallen asleep, his small voice peaked through the silence. "Watch Nemo with Rafi, mama."

"I think it's a little late for Rafi to come watch, baby."

"Morrow?" Liv smiled at her son and his struggle to say all of the words he wanted.

"You know what buddy? Maybe not tomorrow, but very soon Rafi will be here and you can watch all the movies you want together."

This time, though, the mom was happy to tell her son that Rafael would be with them soon because she knew that it was true. There was a lot of comfort in it for herself and for her son.

* Yay for Barson! Review and let me know what you think. Also, I was thinking that I might end this story and write a sequel to it. I have some ideas for a continuation . Would anyone be interested/like to read a sequel? *