The Light In Your Eyes

by Maddylovesyou

A light that is so precious. A light that brings hope and can change any situation from dire to okay. A light that one would kill for. Killua would certainly kill for him.

15. Chapter 15

Killua's eyes widen in surprise when he suddenly drops into the floor, being torn from Gon and his warmth. "Gon!" Killua shouts, the floor covering up above him as he falls onto something metal and slides down fast. Killua's eyes narrow as he holds his arms in front of his face, readying himself for anything. He knows this is just a haunted house so it's probably another scare tactic but Killua doesn't like that he's been separated from Gon. The ex-assassin was enjoying Gon's arm around his waist and the attention he was showing him.

Killua thought he fucked things up. He doesn't know what came over him. The whole day has been amazing, riding rides with Gon and seeing the other male smile so brightly at him. Killua was debating with himself, wanting to touch Gon and try to give him hints that he's interested in him as more than a friend. When he thought of it like that though, Killua got choked up. He got nervous about just holding Gon's hand. Even though Killua has decided to tell Gon of his feelings the idea of Gon knowing his feelings still terrifies him. Killua felt jealous when those girls where looking and giggling over Gon in the line when Gon was bouncing, being so cute. He doesn't like the attention that Gon brings. The fact that those girls noticed him, gets Killua to become defensive. They become a threat. They can see what Killua sees in Gon. Anyone would want him.

Even though he felt possessive after that incident he couldn't bring himself to touch Gon the way he wanted to. He needs to get use to it. He's taking Gon on a date in a couple of days for fuck's sake!...He's going to express his feelings to him in a couple of days. So as the day went on Killua tried to touch Gon more and hold his hand. It was easier to do when they were alone. He was worried also that if he started to touch Gon in front of Leorio and Kurapika that they would say something that would give him away completely or embarrass him.

Killua doesn't know what possessed him to do it. While they were all sitting down together, Leorio told him about girls checking him out. He just looked over to see what he was talking about. The girls were pretty but that just annoyed Killua. They might be checking him out but they could easily start checking Gon out as well. Killua isn't interested in anyone but Gon. Anyone else is a waste of time. Killua was just going to ignore them but Leorio kept pressing for him to pay attention to the girls. He was getting pissed off only to realize something. Leorio was giving him a message. When Killua looked over at Gon to see if it was true, he couldn't believe it. Gon was frowning. He was anxious...He looked...upset that those girls were checking him out.

Killua got too excited. His heart started to beat faster. He wanted to know for sure. He wanted to know if Gon was in fact Jealous. He wanted to see if Gon would pull him away from those girls like in those romantic comedies. So Killua engaged the girls. They hung on him and giggled, their high pitched voices getting on Killua's nerves but he bore with it. He smiled as sweetly as he could while he kept his eyes on Gon.

Killua's heart sunk when he saw Gon walk away. He felt worried that he went to far. He felt guilt. Killua pushed that girl off of him and ran after the other male as soon as he saw him leave. There's no point in being with those girls if Gon isn't watching. There's no point in being here if Gon isn't with him.

Killua's confidence once again got a boost when Gon told him he was jealous. Gon actually got jealous of the girls he was talking to. Gon didn't like it. Killua felt a connection with his best friend just then. His hope of Gon returning his feelings grew. Gon of course could have been jealous because he just left to go and talk to someone else or he was jealous because the girls were flirting with him. Gon may be seeing him in a different light. Killua can only hope. Killua was close to just telling him his feelings but after being interrupted by Leorio, the ex-assassin decided it's best for him to wait to do it at the date. Killua can't describe how happy he was when they went back to eat and Gon was practically clinging to him. He was getting closer to him when ever the girls would look at him. Killua's heart was beating so fast and he had to hide his goofy smile.

But of course Killua had to go and get jealous when Gon hugged Kurapika. He had to tell him that he should only be touchy feely with someone he likes romantically. This statement gave him away and Gon called him out on it. Killua isn't sure if Gon understands that Killua likes him more than a friend. He doesn't think so because Gon's expression didn't change. He was still treating him the same. Killua was just scared so he stopped touching Gon. He got too nervous. He felt ill.

Gon brought him back with his bright smile. He started to touch him and Killua felt at peace again. He didn't feel agitated or afraid. When Gon put his arm around him, it was a relief. Killua doesn't want to stop touching his best friend. He can't let his fear stop him from telling Gon how he feels. If he wants Gon all to himself...If he wants to have the opportunity to have Gon as his lover...he has to take risk. No matter what, Gon won't hate him. Gon won't leave him. He's not that kind of person. He cares about Killua.

The ex-assassin is broken from his thoughts as the metal side finally comes to an end. Killua is shot out of the shoot, he lands on his feet, as agile as a cat, his blue eyes narrowed. The ex-assassin glances around, seeing Kurapika to his right and when he looks to his left, Leorio falls out of the shoot, landing on his butt, groaning in pain. Killua frowns when he doesn't see Gon.

"Ow my ass!" Leorio whines, moving his legs around. "What the hell happened?!" Leorio gets up, glaring darkly at a man who is down here with them, wearing a yellow jacket like the guy at the beginning of the haunted house.

"This is the end of the haunted house. You can make your way out this way." The guy says, looking bored.

"Uh there's one of us missing." Killua's eyes narrow. "Where's Gon?"

"He was probably the chosen one. There's always one that we separate from the group. We don't choose who it is. It just depends on where you step when you enter the room up top. He's probably looking for you guys, worried. It's another scare tactic." The guy shrugs his shoulders. "Just go out this way. I'm sure your friend will come out soon looking for you."

"This haunted house was pretty shitty." Killua can't help to be rude to this man. He doesn't like how they separated Gon from him. "It's not scary at all and your tactics suck." Killua stuffs his hands in his pockets before he walks out of the door quickly.

"Whatever." the guy shrugs his shoulders. He looks like he could care less about anything in life. The ex-assassin doesn't wait on Kurapika and Leorio. They'll probably take forever because Killua can already hear Leorio whining about how his ass hurts. Killua jogs till he's back in front of the haunted house again. He's about to run back in to find his best friend only to stop when the doors open. Gon walks out of the haunted house. Killua's lips turn in a smile when he sees his best friend, his shoulders relaxing and his heart thudding affectionately in his chest. Gon is looking at his shoes, his amber eyes glossed over in thought. He must be worried about us. Killua opens his mouth to call Gon's name and see his eyes light back up when he sees he's alright only for his breath to catch in his throat.

Hisoka has just come out of the haunted house. He's following Gon, right behind him. Killua's smile instantly falls to a frown, his aura spiking protectively. "Gon!" Killua shouts, getting the raven haired male to look up. Killua jumps, landing behind Gon, blocking him from Hisoka. He gets in a stance, his blue eyes getting dull in threat. "What are you doing here?" Killua's voice is dark.

"Killua." Gon's eyes widen in surprise from Killua going on the defensive immediately. Those amber eyes light up at seeing the ex-assassin only for his smile to fall soon after. A conflicting look in those amber orbs that Killua doesn't notice. He's too busy glaring daggers at Hisoka.

"So mean. I'm just here to have fun like you." Hisoka smiles, those yellow eyes taking in Killua with amusement. "I was just around and I noticed Gon all alone~ He looked like he needed some company."

"He never needs your company Hisoka. We have no need for you right now so beat it. Stay away from Gon." Killua grips his fists in his pocket. He's always hated this guy. Even as a 12 year old he noticed the way Hisoka looked at Gon wasn't normal. He sensed the blood lust but there was something else there. This guy is a pedophile. He was looking at Gon's ass in greed island. He was also looking at his ass which freaked Killua out but he was looking at Gon more. Hisoka is a danger to Gon. He's just playing games, Killua never knows when he'll attack Gon for real. Killua wouldn't put it pass this guy to be a rapist either. He might try to lure Gon into bed with him by taking advantage of his innocence for all he knows! Killua puffs out his chest at the thought, blocking Hisoka's sight of Gon.

"Ohh the pain. You hurt me so." Hisoka puts a hand over his heart, his smile twisting his lips. Hisoka looks past Killua.. "But I'm not going to stay away from Gon. He's much too interesting. He's one of my favorite toys-"

"A toy?" Killua can't hide the anger in his voice. He takes a step forward, his eyes getting darker. He will fight Hisoka if he has to. He'll rip that stupid smirk right off his face. Who does he think he is? Calling Gon his toy. Toy. His. Gon is neither. Even though Killua hasn't let his blood lust leak out he knows Hisoka can sense it. The magician's smirk only grows. He looks excited. It pisses Killua off more. Killua starts to take his hands out of his pockets, ready to rip Hisoka's throat out only to be stopped by Gon.

The raven haired male grabs his arm to stop him only for his eyes to flash. He lets go of Killua, his arms hanging by his sides. "Killua it's okay. There's no point in fighting him now. Don't let him ruin our vacation. We still have a large amusement park to explore." Gon smiles.

Killua looks into those amber eyes and takes in Gon's smile. Killua finds himself relaxing. He sighs, straightening out, shaking his head. "You're right. He's a waste of time. Let's go join up with Kurapika and Leorio and get on some more rides." Killua and Gon start to walk away from the haunted house. Killua's eye twitches when Hisoka follows them. "Get lost-"

"It's okay Killua. I told him he could come with us." Gon smiles sheepishly when Killua looks at him like he's grown two heads.

"What?! Why would you tell him that!"

"Because I was lonely." Hisoka hums as he walks closer to the two teenagers, Killua pulling Gon so he's away from Hisoka. "is it so bad having me around Killua? I'm not going to do anything that will cause you any alarm." Hisoka's smile is sweet. It makes Killua sick.

"Yeah right." Killua scoffs before he leans over to whisper to Gon harshly. "Gon, this guy is no good. Why did you let him join us?" Killua's face falls when Gon's lips tug in a frown. He looks upset. He's biting his lip, a conflicted look in his eyes. Killua's eyes widen and he backs off, realizing something. Gon would never tell Hisoka he could join them. Hisoka must have done something while Killua was away. Threaten him? No...Gon would have fought him. Is Hisoka blackmailing him? Killua settles down even though his anger grows. He wants to ask what is going on but he might be hurting Gon. He doesn't know what the situation is now and it's making him nervous. All his senses are on high alert.

Killua doesn't like the look in Gon's eyes either. He seems out of it. Killua feels his heart sink when Gon frowns. When Gon is upset, Killua feels it too. The ex-assassin bites the inside of his cheek. He'll keep himself in check, in till he knows the situation.

"Whatever. Just don't' get in our way." Killua grunts as he sees Kurapika and Leorio walking towards them. Kurapika has his arm wrapped around Leorio, giving him support. Both of their eyes widen only to turn into glares.

"Hisoka!" Kurapika's eyes narrow.

"What are you doing here?" Leorio growls.

"Everyone here is just interested in my life aren't they?" Hisoka smirks as he takes in the other two males. "I'm just here to enjoy the ride. I thought we could all have fun together."

"You're joking right?" Leorio gives Hisoka a look. "Like we would believe that!-"
"Gon has already told him he can come with us." Killua butts in, glancing over at Gon to see him shift from foot to foot when their other friends give him that 'what the hell were you thinking?' look. "It's whatever." Killua shrugs, trying to give Kurapika a silent message, hoping the blonde can see that something is up. "I already told him to stay out of our way. He isn't going to ruin this for us."

"Why the hell would you tell him he could come with us Gon?" Leorio shouts. Killua feels like hitting him and telling him to shut up. Gon seems to sink more into himself. Killua is starting to feel protective again.

"I just...you know...because..." Gon fumbles over his words.

"Yes Gon why would you tell me I could come?" Hisoka smirks. Gon pulls at his shirt, a habit Killua has seen Gon do only when he's nervous or feeling bad. Something is wrong. He can sense it. His friend is different. The mood around him is different. His aura is different. Those eyes aren't as bright as they were when they came into the haunted house.

"I..." Gon looks really conflicted as he looks at everyone. Gon doesn't make eye contact with Killua though. Killua feels his blood boil.

"Gon asked Hisoka to come because he fucking felt like it." Killua can't stop himself from cursing. The ex-assassin doesn't know the full story but everyone questioning Gon is upsetting him. He's pissed about the whole thing. He wants to just attack Hisoka but he doesn't know if that would be putting Gon in danger. There is a reason Gon asked Hisoka to come...or more like it, there's a reason Gon would let Hisoka come. "Lets just stop asking about it and move on."

Leorio looks at Killua shocked only for Kurapika to grab his hand and start to pull him forward. He gives Leorio a look, the blonde sending a message to be quiet. "So where do you guys want to go?"

"I don't know. What about you Gon?" Killua looks over at his friend, frowning when he sees how Gon tenses. He seems more relaxed now that they're moving though and they've stopped asking about Hisoka.

"Hmm." Gon thinks for a moment, those amber eyes refocusing. He smiles over at Killua, those amber orbs seem to get brighter when he looks into Killua's purple ones. "I'm not sure..." Gon seems to lose his train of thought.

"We could check out the games." Killua offers. He's annoyed by the presence of Hisoka behind them but he pays him no attention.

"Yeah...that sounds good." Gon nods. Those amber eye shift away from him. Even though Gon seems better than he was he still looks really stiff. Killua reaches out to touch Gon's hand, wanting to offer him some comfort only for Gon to move his hand away from him quickly. Killua retracts his hand, feeling his heart sink at the rejection. Is it because Hisoka is here? He's never done that before...Gon seemed frantic to get away from him.

"We all love a good game." Hisoka moves so he's walking next to Gon's other side. Those yellow eyes are taking in Gon's expression with glee.

"If we keep going this way we'll hit a cluster of games." Kurapika says up ahead but Killua isn't paying attention to him.

Killua ignores the hurt from Gon rejecting his touch. He moves so he shoves himself between Gon and Hisoka, glaring at the older male.

"Oh i'm going to have a lot of fun." Hisoka groans, staring at the look Killua is giving him.

"Killua." Gon says his name, trying to get the ex-assassin to calm down. Killua's chest tightens when he feels Gon's hand grab his. Killua looks over at Gon with wide eyes. Gon flinches. Those amber eyes look down at his shoes guilty as if he's done something wrong by holding his hand. Killua frowns. He interlaces their fingers, rubbing Gon's hand with his thumb. Gon glances up at him only for his eyes to light up when he sees the small smile on Killua's face. Gon chuckles, his eyes getting back to that brightness. "Let's just enjoy the games!"

"Sounds good to me." Killua feels his mood get better when it looks like whatever was bothering Gon has left him. He's smiling at him and there's a bounce to his step again.

"That's so cute, you two hold hands." Hisoka says in a smooth voice. "Aren't you a bit old for that?" Hisoka's lips twist. "How childish."

Killua caught how Gon's shoulders tensed. It feels like Gon is going to pull away from him only for Killua to tighten his grip on his hand. "It's none of your business what we do." Killua is getting defensive again. He really wishes he could just make this ass hole get lost. Killua definably knows something is up with how Gon hasn't been saying anything to defend himself.

"Are you two a couple then?" Hisoka's thin eyebrow raises. Killua keeps his face blank. He won't allow his face to heat up right now. "From the lack of an answer I'm going to guest that you aren't." Hisoka smirks as he looks over at Gon. "I could be your man~"

Killua's face gets red from anger. He glares darkly at the other man. "Gon would never want to be with some old creep like you."

"Ouch." Hisoka sighs before he smirks.

"I would never be with you." Gon speaks up, Killua smirking at Hisoka when his eyebrows furrow. He's taking great satisfaction out of Gon saying that.

"Never say never Gon. You never know~" Hisoka winks. Killua is going to be sick.

"Creepy old pedophile." Killua mumbles as he speeds up, pulling Gon along with him. Hisoka won't let them get too far though. He's hanging around them, watching them with those yellow eyes of his.

"Oh wow look at all the games!" Gon's eyes brighten up in excitement when they take in all the different stands that have different games with different prizes. His eyes fall on a large stuffed Foxbear hanging up. Gon's eyes light in a way that Killua knows immediately that he really likes the stuffed animal. Gon pulls him along towards the game. "A stuffed foxbear. Its' so big." Gon smiles. "Not as big as a real one but still!"

"He's so cute. I can't stand it." Hisoka sighs blissfully, ruining Killua's good mood. He was thinking the same thing. Hisoka better back the hell off. Gon ignores Hisoka's comment, those amber eyes looking at the man who runs this game.

"If I win can I get that." Gon points up at the bear.

"To win that bear you'd have to play about five games and get a perfect score." The man points to three lines of blocks that are in the back.

"You just have to knock them down?" Killua asks, trying to keep himself from killing Hisoka. "Five games is a lot old man."

"That's a large bear, son." The man grunts.

"I'll play!" Gon cheers only to stop when he lifts his hand up. He winces, his arm going limply to his side. "Oh erm..." Gon's shoulders slump.

"Is something wrong Gon-" Killua starts to ask, his eyebrows furrowing in concern.

"I'll win the bear for you Gon." Hisoka suddenly takes a step forward. He cracks his shoulders, his large biceps flexing as he winks at the younger male. "I want you to have it~" Hisoka smirks at the man who is looking at him strangely. "I want to pay for five games-"

"You're not going to win the bear for him. I will. I was planning to anyway." Killua huffs, not going to let Hisoka do anything romantic to his best friend.

"No I insist that I do it." Hisoka leans close, whispering to Killua so Gon can't hear. "Gon's really grown don't you agree? I'm going to make him mine~"

Killua's eyes flash, he grinds his teeth as he pushes Hisoka away from him and looks at this man. Killua's heart is beating faster, his blood boiling. He wants to spill blood. "He'll never be yours. Gon said so himself." Killua growls, not able to help it. "I want to pay for five games." Killua takes out his money, Hisoka doing the same.

"I was going to..." Gon pouts as he watches the two males playing his game. He looks down at his arm, a frown turning his lips.

As soon as the guy hands Killua the balls to throw he's throwing them at the blocks, knocking them all down in a blink of an eye. Hisoka knocks down his own blocks. Killua growls, waiting for his man to put the blocks back up. He knocks them right back down when he gets the balls. He keeps doing this, staying focused on the game. When he knocks down his last set he hears Gon cheer.

"Wow Killua! You did that fast!" Gon smiles at his friend. Killua smiles back before he grins at the man. "I want that Foxbear."

"You got it kid." He hands it to Killua. The ex-assassin walks over to Gon and hands it over to him. Only then does Killua realize what he's just done. He just won a prize for Gon and is giving him it. It's a classic scene from any love story. Killua's cheeks tint.

"Here. You said you wanted this so..." Killua trails off.

"Thanks Killua!" Gon's eyes get so bright, Killua can feel the breath be taken out of him as Gon grabs the huge Foxbear and hugs it. Those eyes that were down are now as bright as the sun. Killua can't look away. He's trapped. His heart picking up speed. "Are you sure you want to give this to me?"

"I'm sure. I won it for you." Killua's cheeks heat up. He swallows. Is it hot out here or what? Gon's eyes get even brighter. Killua can't help to smile at his friend even though he feels embarrassed. He's happy that he can make Gon smile like that. He's happy he can brighten his friend back up.

"Looks like I lost." Hisoka hums, dropping the ball. He smirks when Killua gives him a dark look. In a blink of an eye he's next to Gon, grabbing his wrist. Gon's face scrunches up in pain.

"Get off of him." Killua's aura flares when he sees that look on Gon's face.

"I'm barely touching him. Gon, why don't me and you get on a ride together? Alone?" Hisoka gives Gon this look that makes the raven haired male frown.

"...Okay." Gon glares down at his shoes. He looks guilty and frustrated again.

"Uh no?" Killua glares at Hisoka as he grabs Gon's other hand and pulls him away. "Gon, you can't get on a ride with him alone. He'll try to rape you." Killua's eyes narrow at Hisoka. He knows the older male is trying to black mail Gon into being alone with him. Killua won't let it happen.

"I won't do anything that he won't like." Hisoka's says smoothly, getting Killua's blood to boil. "Gon don't you want to grow up?" Hisoka watches Gon's shoulders tense. Killua is getting more and more pissed off. " I can teach you things. I can make you into a man-"

Something snaps inside the ex-assassin. Maybe it's the way Hisoka is looking at Gon, or the words he's spoke, or maybe it's how Gon's eyes got duller when he asked him about growing up. He doesn't know, but he snaps. Killua's eyes get dark and dangerous, his hand turning into a claw, his blood lust leaking out. In a blink of an eye he's right on Hisoka, aiming for his heart. Hisoka side steps him but Killua is quicker, he's able to jump against the concrete and slash Hisoka's arm. It might not be his heart but Killua takes satisfaction out of seeing Hisoka's blood leak out. He's in full assassin mode. His eyes are trained on the target. His body moving efficiently to kill.

Hisoka does a graceful twirl away from Killua, he ignores the wound to his arm, his smile has grown. He gets his playing cards out, those yellow eyes gleaming. In the past Killua would have been concerned. He would have been worried if he could beat Hisoka. He would be thinking about running away. Once he ripped out that needle his brother implanted in him, he's had no trouble. He's learned what it means to be a hunter. All thanks to Gon. He gave him the strength to fight his brother. He gave him the strength and the power to realize that something was wrong with his head. He gave him hope that he could be better. Gon is his everything. Gon is his. Not this man's.

Killua has lost himself to his killer instincts. He's lost himself to his emotions. Killua lets out a battle cry, his eyes aimed on Hisoka's heart and throat. Hisoka gets in a stance, those eyes getting more and more bright with dark glee. Killua jumps towards Hisoka, his claw out and ready, his eyes getting darker. He wants to spill his blood. He wants to get rid of the threat-

"Killua! Stop!" Gon gets in the way, those amber orbs locking onto Killua's. And Just like that. Gon's voice, Gon's eyes, snap Killua out of his state. Killua gasps, landing on his feet, skidding to a stop right in front of Gon, his hand turning back to normal. Killua breathes heavily, his body tensed up. "It's okay Killua." Gon puts his hands on his shoulders, looking into his eyes. All Killua sees is Gon. The ex-assassin finds himself relaxing in Gon's touch and those eyes. Gon doesn't look angry with him. He just looks concerned. "He isn't worth it. And if you guys fight here innocent people could get hurt."

Killua's eyes widen. He had completely forgotten where they were. Killua looks around to see everyone has moved away from them, looking at him in horror. They mumble to themselves and some people are on the phone. They're probably calling the police. Everyone looks afraid of him now. Hisoka is standing off to the side, smiling to himself, his arm is dripping blood but he pays no mind to it.

"Yeah, you're right. He isn't worth it." Killua's bangs cover his eyes. "He was just saying those things to you and I..." Killua grips his fists. "I'm sorry. We're going to get kicked out of the amusement park because of me."

"I don't care about that. We can go to the amusement park again some other time." Gon smiles so nicely it gets Killua's heart to flutter. The feeling of shame disappears and he finds himself smiling back at him-

"My...such anger." Hisoka coos. Killua tries to ignore him. "I don't understand what's made you so angry Killua. I could satisfy all his needs-"

"You are a dangerous man. A creep. You'll never touch him. You'll never have him!" Killua finds his voice raising.

"Hisoka stop it." Gon snaps at Hisoka, turning so he's standing in front of Killua protectively. Those amber eyes are set on fire, that fight in them. Hisoka looks like he's having the time of his life. "If you're going to make Killua upset then I don't need this." Gon lifts up his arm. Killua finds his heart beating faster at how Gon is acting protective of him now.

"Hmm are you sure?" Hisoka shifts his hips, his smile crooked. "I wonder what Killua will think Gon? Of your little secret?" Hisoka puts his finger to his lip. Gon's expression falls. Something close to fear in those eyes.

"Your secret?" Killua looks at Gon but when Gon sinks more into himself, he shakes off his curiosity for the moment.

"You've gotten your entertainment." Gon growls as he sticks his hand into his pocket, wincing slightly.

"I suppose I have but after seeing that look in your eyes...I think I want some more fun." Hisoka takes a step forward. Killua gets in front of Gon. Kurapika and Leorio, who were playing games off by themselves, came over when they saw the commotion. They stand beside Killua, getting in a stance.

"We can't leave for a couple of seconds without something happening." Leorio grumbles before he glares darkly at Hisoka.

"Come on guys. Lets get out of here." Gon closes his eyes, gripping his other fist to his side as he starts to walk towards the exit. The three friends exchange a look before they start to follow Gon's lead, everyone glaring and keeping an eye on the magician.

"He's going to find out Gon." Hisoka coos behind them. Killua can see the tension in Gon's shoulders. "He's going to know~"

The four friends walk out of the amusement park, not saying a word to each other. There's a feeling in the air that makes everyone not want to say anything. Gon's eyes are glossed over and his shoulders slumped. Kurapika had picked up the fox bear stuffed animal for him and is carrying it. They all just walk to the car, and get in. Everyone sits still for a moment. Kurapika is the first to break the silence.

"What happened in the haunted house Gon?" Kurapika looks back at Gon from the front seat. Leorio and Killua look at the raven haired male as well.

"I don't really want to talk about it." Gon shakes his head, looking out of the window. Killua frowns at his friend's behavior.

"Okay." Kurapika doesn't push it. "Leorio drive us around for awhile to make sure Hisoka doesn't follow us back to the hotel."

"Got it." Leorio pulls out of the parking space and starts to drive off. Gon doesn't stay anything as he continues to stare out of the window, those eyes seem so far away. Killua finds himself moving closer to the other male. As time goes by, Killua can't stand the space between them. He places his hand on Gon's shoulder to comfort him or at least try to. Gon tenses from his touch before he glances over at Killua. He seems to relax when their eyes meet.

"Killua." He says his name breathless. It gets Killua's heart to flutter. His whole body seems to go slack when Killua touches him nicely. The ex-assassin starts to rub his arm, trying to destroy this weird feeling in the air. Gon seems worried. Killua wants to know what happened in the haunted house. He wants to know what secret Hisoka was talking about but he wants to comfort Gon more.

The raven haired male lets out a breath before he leans into Killua's touch. "Killua...can I hold your hand?" Gon looks into Killua's eyes, searching for something.

"Of course." Killua said that a bit fast but he was taken of guard by Gon asking and the look in his eyes. "You can hold it any time you want..." Killua glances away, his face getting pink.

Gon's face brightens back up and he grabs Killua's hand. The ex-assassin brings Gon's hand up to his lips and kisses it. He just feels like kissing Gon and holding him. He's feeling possessive still from the run in with Hisoka.

Gon smiles, those eyes brightening up. Gon is his. He'll protect him from people like Hisoka who just want sex from him. He'll show Gon he loves him. Killua and Gon stay in a comfortable silence as the ex-assassin continues to touch Gon, rubbing his arm in a soothing way. He curls up next to him, loving how he can touch Gon like this and how Gon seems to be smiling more again.

Killua will ask again about what happened in the haunted house. He will ask about what his secret is but for now...He's just enjoying the fact that Gon is away from Hisoka and that the raven haired male is melting from his touch.

And no one elses.

---

"You didn't get to eat your dessert." Gon says once they get into their hotel room. Killua blinks. Completely forgetting about that.

"Eh it's fine. I'll eat something sweet here later." Killua waves that off.

"Hisoka ruined our time at the amusement park." Gon rubs at his arm as he walks over to the bed and sits on it. His eyebrows are furrowed, a frown tugging at his lips.

"Like you said, we can go to the amusement park some other time." Killua offers, not liking his friend's frown. "...Can you tell me what happened Gon?...I know you wouldn't have offered for Hisoka to come with us."

"I just..." Gon hugs his knees to his chest, those amber eyes shifting away from Killua.

"...Is it because of your secret?" Killua can't help to ask. Gon's breath catches. He buries his head into his knees. Killua moves so he's sitting next to Gon, giving him a serious look. "You can tell me anything Gon. You don't have to be worried. If Hisoka is using this secret to blackmail you, it's dangerous." Killua tries to relax himself. When he mentions Hisoka he can feel his blood boil. He's the cause of all this.

"...I think i've done something bad." Gon mumbles, glancing up at Killua only to glance back down. Now is not the time to be thinking how cute Gon is. The way he said it was like a small child about to admit something to a parent.

"What do you mean?" Killua moves himself closer.

"I think i've done something that will make you mad at me. I'm not sure. I'm all confused now. I-I don't know much about being gay or when you're suppose to do stuff and if..." Gon starts to talk fast only to slow down. He hugs his knees closer. "I'm worried if I tell you, you'll get mad at me. I don't want you to hate me."

"Gon." Killua's voice is firm as he grabs Gon's chin, making the other male look at him. "I could never hate you. Are you serious? Gon, i've killed people. Yet you still became my friend. There is nothing that you could do that would make me hate you." Killua flushes when Gon's eyes get brighter. His chest is beating faster in his chest. "You can tell me anything Gon. I don't like seeing you down like this. It brings me down with you. Kurapika and Leorio are worried too." Killua takes a deep breath, licking his lips nervously, they tingle from him being so honest with Gon.

Gon looks down at his shoes, biting his lip. Those eyes seem to decide on something. Gon closes his eyes, bracing himself as he slowly pulls out his hand from his pocket. Killua watches him in confusion only for his eyes to widen in shock, his mouth opening in horror. His wrist is nothing but a mesh of flesh. The pink of his muscles can be seen and his bones. Killua's breathing comes out jagged as he sees the damage.

"Did he do this?" Killua's voice is low as he grabs Gon's forearm that isn't damaged, staring at the wound with his eyes getting darker.

"...No." Gon doesn't look at Killua, his lips in a frown. "This is why I let Hisoka come along...He used this power on me and it made my flesh look back to normal. I didn't want to show you-"

"Why not?! This needs to be taken care of! Leorio!" Killua roars, not caring how late it is or if he's waking up the neighbors. He made sure Leorio could hear him. "If Hisoka didn't do this then who? Who did this when I was away?" Killua locks eyes with Gon, all his focus on his best friend. His heart is beating slowly. He has to stop himself from shaking. Who ever hurt Gon will pay-

"...I don't know...I blacked out." Gon swallows. "Hisoka was there...He said I did it to myself."

"You did that to yourself? How do you know if Hisoka didn't do it to you if you blacked out?...Were you feeling sick Gon?" Killua feels angry. Angry at himself for not being there. And angry at Gon for keeping things from him. If he felt bad while at the amusement park he should have told him! " You don't pass out for no reason! Why didn't you tell me if you were feeling bad Gon?"

"I didn't really pass out I...I saw the other Killua. I saw the enemy. I thought he was you. He grabbed me and started to cut into my wrist but then he was gone. And it was just me sitting there." Gon's eyes get duller at mentioning the other Killua. "Hisoka said...it was just me the whole time."

"What's happening in here?!" Leorio comes busting into the room, holding his brief case, his brown orbs alert. Kurapika is right by his side. Both of their eyes widen when they take in the state of Gon's wrist. "What happened here? Gon your wrist!" Leorio rushes over to the younger male. He gets on his knees in front of him and grabs the arm to inspect the wound, his lips turning in a deep frown.

"Who did this?" Kurapika looks at Gon, those gray eyes studying his expression.

"Apparently this is why Gon had Hisoka around us. He was using Hisoka to hide this wound from us. Gon got the wound while he was alone in the haunted house..." Killua looks at his friend. "Do you want to tell them the story?" Killua wants to understand what happened. There's no way Gon could have done this to himself. Hisoka had to have done something. And this other Killua Gon is seeing...is he the one who stole Clover? Or is he just in Gon's head...an a hallucination as Leorio was saying.

"...When you guys disappeared I was worried. I didn't know where you guys went and then I saw Killua. I followed Killua upstairs and into this room. I really thought it was the real Killua. But then he grabbed me and dug his nails into my wrist." Gon watches as Leorio gets stuff out of his kit. He grinds his teeth when Leorio starts to clean his wound. Kurapika has a deep frown on his lips as he listens to the story. Killua has his eyebrows furrowed. Is this the person who stole the fox? or... "But when I opened my eyes again, Killua was gone, and it was only me. Hisoka was there. He said he watched the whole thing. He said I scratched up my own wrist." Gon keeps his head down as Leorio puts some antibacterial cream on his wound.

"This is really bad. You should go to a hospital. This wound is going to take awhile to heal." Leorio gives Gon a look, doctor mode on.

"Do you believe that you did this to yourself Gon?" Kurapika takes a step forward. Those gray eyes holding something that Killua doesn't understand.

"...I'm not sure." Gon looks up at Kurapika.

"What if Hisoka has something to do with this other Killua?" Leorio suddenly says, his eyes lighting in realization. "Remember? Before you saw the other Killua at the restaurant we were with Hisoka. You saw this other Killua again and then Hisoka showed up!" Leorio seems proud of himself for making the connection as he wraps up Gon's wound.

"That's a possibility." Kurapika says, those eyes getting glossed over.

"I just know Hisoka has something to do with it. I just can't believe you could cause all this damage to yourself." Killua watches Gon's face carefully. "There's no way. And then Hisoka 'helps you' right after."

"Maybe Hisoka is the other Killua? Maybe he's the one who stole the fox too!" Leorio's eyes widen.

"No. Hisoka can't change his appearance. I doubt he has anything to do with the other Killua but I can't help to be suspicious of the fact that he shows up around when the other Killua does." Kurapika thinks to himself. "Hisoka was talking about how he was on a job. Maybe he's working with the person who stole the fox?"

"What was the point in hurting you like this?" Killua mumbles, feeling that anger as Gon shifts, not looking comfortable with the conversation.

"Maybe Hisoka did it to have an excuse to be around us? Or maybe the person who stole the fox was mad when they realized Gon didn't have the book!" Leorio adds in.

"Something is definably fishy around here." Killua's eyes narrow. "I don't know if Hisoka has anything to do with Clover or this other Killua but I've noticed something. The other Killua only shows up when Gon is alone. We just got to make sure Gon is never alone." Killua looks around at everyone before he looks at Gon. "That way, even if the other Killua comes, we'll have more of a chance of stopping him." Killua grinds his teeth. He's pissed that who ever this is would make Gon see Killua hurting him. They're using his image to inflict pain on Gon.

"That sounds like a good idea." Kurapika nods, agreeing. "This has gotten serious. They have inflicted damage on Gon. And it seems to me they are trying to mess with his mental state."

"Yeah. Hisoka was just trying to throw you off Gon. There's no way you did this to yourself." Killua reassures when Gon glances over at him. His best friend has never inflicted any pain on himself and Gon has more mental strength than anyone Killua has ever seen. Gon has been through so much and he's still able to smile and look up about everything. The enemy is trying to break that about him.

"I don't know...Kurapika and Leorio think it could be in my head. The other Killua..." Gon looks up, Leorio tensing, Kurapika not saying anything. "Then I really did do this to myself-"

"We'll find out the truth by one of us staying with you at all times." Killua grabs Gon's shoulder. "We'll get to the bottom of this. I won't let that other Killua hurt you again." Killua finds himself saying, his purple eyes flaring. "Or Hisoka...So don't keep things like this from me Gon." Killua holds Gon's hand against his chest. "I don't like it. If you kept this from us you could have gotten an infection! You need to start being more honest and stop hiding things from me." Killua snaps, thinking about how bad this could have been. Gon could have gotten into a lot of trouble with letting Hisoka blackmail him over this and he could have gotten an infection from not letting it get treated! Why does Gon hide these things from him? Killua knows Gon doesn't want him to worry but that's his job. He worries over and protects Gon, he insists him in whatever that he does. Killua doesn't like when he tries to tackle something alone.

Gon winces at Killua's last comment. He frowns and looks at Kurapika. The blonde returns his gaze but his expression is blank.

"...I'm sorry Killua." Gon slumps, those amber orbs shifting away guilty. Killua feels his heart sink a little. Shit. He didn't mean to make him slump like that...He's just tired of Gon hiding things from him.

"I'm not mad at you." Killua remembers how Gon was worried that he would be angry or hate him because of this. Killua gives Gon a firm look when his best friend looks at him. "and I don't hate you because you didn't tell me. I just get worried about you. If someone attacks you I want to know. If you get hurt I want to know. We're a team aren't we?" Killua shifts when he asks the last question.

"Yeah! Of course we're a team!" Gon says quickly, those eyes brightening up again. "...I promise I'll tell you more from now on. I don't want you to get worried about me and..." Gon thinks for a moment.

"Did you really think you could hide this injury from us?" Leorio raises his eyebrow at the younger male.

"Well I was going to try." Gon's cheeks tint.

"Idiot." Killua shakes his head. "Don't try to hide anything alright?" Killua finds himself reaching out and rubbing Gon's back. The raven haired male relaxes to his touch and his eyes light up. He smiles to himself and he chuckles. Everyone looks at Gon, confused by his change of mood.

"I am an idiot. You're nothing like the other Killua." Gon wraps his arms around Killua, hugging him tightly. "You're nice and kind and amazing and you would never hurt me. You would never hate me. And if you would get angry with me Killua..." Gon tightens his grip on the other male, Killua's heart is beating slowly in his chest, a soft blush spreading across his cheeks. "I would forget all of it."

"Of course i'm not like that ass hole who hurt you. I don't really under stand what you were talking about at the end but...you're right when you say I would never hate you. You never have to worry about that." Killua's blush stays but he finds himself wrapping his arms around Gon, hugging him against his chest.

Kurapika and Leorio exchange a smile before they look back at the two young males. It's so painfully obvious. Their feelings are right there but Killua can't pick it out and Gon knows but he's stubborn. They're so close.

"Do you want me to be honest?" Gon says but he keeps hugging Killua. Not wanting to let the other male go. Not that Killua minds. He doesn't want to let go of Gon either. Even though he does feel embarrassed with Kurapika and Leorio watching them.

"Yes I do." Killua nods. Gon shifts in his arms for a moment.

"So you know how I said I wanted to go to the dungeon? Well I do want to fight someone but I left out a small detail." Gon bites his lip. "I may have gotten word that the fox stealer will be at the bottom of the dungeon..."

"What?!" Killua and Leorio shout at the same time.

"And you didn't tell us? Why?" Killua glares a little at Gon who buries his face into Killua's shoulder. "Who gave you this information?"

"The leader got in contact with me. He said that the fox stealer contacted him saying that he would be waiting at the bottom of the dungeon for him. The fox stealer is expecting the leader to show up but we're going to show up instead." Gon explains, not lifting his head from Killua's shoulder.

"Why would you keep that from us?" Killua raises his eyebrow before he glares at Gon. "You weren't planning on trying to fight him yourself were you?"

"No...I was going to tell you, I just kind of forgot about it." Gon mumbles.

"Forgot?" Killua's eyebrow twitches but he takes a deep breath. "...At least you're telling me this now." He doesn't want to get angry and then Gon will keep hiding stuff from him. He is a little irritated though. Why would Gon hide something like that? Does he want to save Clover by himself or something? And when did the leader of the circus contact Gon? He doesn't remember Gon getting any phone calls...does the leader even have his number? Killua thinks to himself. "Did you give the leader your phone number or something?"

"Yes he did." Kurapika speaks up when Gon doesn't answer. "He gave it to the leader so he could keep in contact with us to tell us any new information he found."

"Oh." That's right Kurapika was with Gon when he interacted with the leader. Killua feels a little put off by that. Kurapika has experienced something with Gon that he has not. He's more in the loop than Killua. The ex-assassin glances down at Gon who is nuzzling his head against his cheek. Killua feels his heart flutter at the cute gesture and he feels his irritation melt. "Okay. So is there anything else you've been keeping from us Gon?" really is there anything else you've been keeping from me?

Gon doesn't answer for a moment before he shakes his head.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay to fight in the dungeon tomorrow?" Leorio asks, eying Gon's wrist. "That's a pretty bad wound and it's on your dominate hand."

"I'll be okay to fight!" Gon says quickly, looking up from Killua's shoulder, those eyes bright with a fire. "I'm going to fight that guy and get him to tell me where Clover is!" Killua can't help to smile. That sounds just like Gon alright. Despite his wound he's determine to fight.

"Okay but for all we know Hisoka might be waiting down there for us." Leorio shivers.

"And if that's true then I'll fight him and get him to tell me where Clover is." Gon smiles over at Killua. "besides! I'll have Killua by my side. I can do anything!"

Killua finds his whole face lighting up. His heart races and his lips turn in that smile, it's a happy smile and it's embarrassing.

"Okay." Leorio smiles to himself. "And you have me and Kurapika here! So yeah! Even if it's Hisoka there or whoever we'll take care of him and make him pay for framing you!"

"Hopefully we'll put an end to this tomorrow." Kurapika adds, smiling at Gon but there's this look in his eyes Killua still doesn't understand. "Let's give them some time alone Leorio." Kurapika turns on his heel and starts to walk out of the room. "Try to go to bed early tonight."

"Alright." Leorio looks back over at Gon. "I'll change your dressing tomorrow morning. I'm pretty sure that is going to scar. It may close up because the wound is deep but the edges are semi close. Just keep an eye on it." Leorio gives Gon a serious look before he walks out of the room with Kurapika.

"I will. Good night Leorio, good night Kurapika!" Gon calls after them. Then the door shuts and it's just Gon and Killua alone. Gon is still hugging him, his arms wrapped around his back. Killua can feel Gon's breath on his neck. Killua isn't sure how long they stay like this. He just enjoys it. He enjoys the smell and the feel of his best friend. The ex-assassin finds himself running his fingers through Gon's hair absentmindedly, loving how Gon cuddles into him, and lets out a sigh of approval.

"Killua lets go to the beach and train tonight." Gon says, his lips brushing against Killua's neck.

"You shouldn't train with your arm like that. Besides, you don't want to be tired for tomorrow." Killua shakes his head, swallowing dryly. He feels warm. All irritation and worry from today is slowly melting away with Gon in his arms.

"I guess." Gon sighs but he doesn't let go of Killua. "Killua i'm going to get you a big present." Gon pulls away to smile brightly at Killua. "You got me the Foxbear stuffed animal I wanted. I want to get you something now."

"You don't have to Gon. You got me these earrings." Killua flips his hair, revealing the purple earrings for a moment. "Consider it pay back and I'm not done." Killua's cheeks flush. I'll never be done repaying you Gon.

"You're not done?" Gon tilts his head, those eyes shining with curiosity.

"...I have a surprise for you." Killua can't help himself, Gon's eyes are getting bright with excitement. "You'll have to wait till we go out in a couple of days to get it though."

"What?" Gon pouts. "Could you give me a hint?"

"Nope." Killua's smile is playful when Gon's pout grows.

"Killuwaaaa." Gon whines cutely, getting Killua to feel a bit warmer. "Please? Just one hint?"

"Hmm...let me think about it." Killua puts a hand on his chin, acting as if he's really thinking. Gon leans in closer, his eyes getting wider and brighter. "No." Killua chuckles when Gon reaches over and hits him with a pillow.

"You're mean." Gon huffs.

"Really? I'm mean?" Killua raises an eyebrow. "I got you something really awesome and you're calling me mean? Maybe I should just take it back-"

"No! Don't do that! I take it back." Gon hugs Killua, wrapping his arms around his neck. Killua's face gets a dark red when Gon sits on his lap, getting himself comfortable. "Killua is nice. I'm just excited about the surprise is all." Gon chuckles.

"Uh...Gon." Killua's heart races, his heat traveling too low for his liking at feeling Gon's ass pressed against his lower regions. "W-Why are you sitting on my lap?"

"Because it's comfortable." Gon beams only for something to flash through his eyes. "You don't' want me to?-"

"No. It's...it's fine." Killua glances away, his blush reaching his ears. Thank god he has long hair. Killua frowns slightly when he sees Gon's wrapped up wrist, his mind being distracted from the mental images Gon being on his lap is giving him. "Does it hurt?"

"...A little." Gon smiles, being truthful. "But it's okay. It's not that bad. I've been through worse."

"That you have." Killua shakes his head before he takes Gon's hand and brings it to his lips. He kisses the bandages, his face getting warm but he doesn't care. "...A kiss to make you feel better." Killua remembers Gon and how cute he was when he told him about how Mito-san use to kiss his wounds. Now Killua is doing it. Killua is taking care of Gon.

Gon's cheeks flush. It gets Killua's heart to race. Gon is too adorable. Killua's eyes get soft as he leans in and starts to kiss Gon's face. He kisses his cheek, forehead, eyes, and nose. He stops inches away from Gon's lips. Killua is feeling affectionate. After Hisoka saying all those things about getting in bed with Gon, Killua just wants to claim Gon to himself. He wants to kiss every part of him as a way of declaring that Gon is his. He wants to just kiss those lips, and bring Gon's body closer to him. He wants to come clean himself. He told Gon to stop hiding things but what is he doing right now? Killua is hiding.

Killua pulls away to look at Gon's expression. The other male's cheeks are pink, and his eyes are bright. He's smiling at Killua. The ex-assassin swallows. Does he like me kissing him? Is it okay...? Killua glances down at Gon's lips. The ex-assassin bits his own. He can feel himself get hard and soon Gon will be able to feel it too.

"I like it when you do that." Gon says bluntly. Killua's face gets redder as Gon starts to return the favor, kissing on his face. Killua is in heaven. Gon is sitting on his lap, his arms around him, his lips touching his face. Killua has to use all his will power to restrain himself. He wants to just slam Gon on the bed, and ravish him. He's too cute. He's too sexy. He's too pure. No one has kissed those lips. No one has been in his pants except for himself. Killua can't help to groan when an image pops into his mind.

Gon sitting on the bed, his pants pulled down, his face red and his breathing jagged as he strokes his own cock. Those eyes are so glossy, deep in his passion, moans leaving his lips.

"G-Gon I have to go to the bathroom." Killua takes a deep breath, his pants feeling tight. He lifts Gon off of him and sits him next to him. He can't take anymore. He pulls his shirt down to try to cover his problem as he stands up. Killua has to take care of this or he will attack Gon.

"Should I come with you?" Gon tilts his head. Killua sputters.

"W-Why would you come with me?" Killua flushes when he gets an image of Gon coming into the bathroom with him. 'I can help you Killua!'

No! stop it! Killua shakes his head, his pants are painfully tight now. He feels too hot.

"Well you said I shouldn't be alone."

"You'll be fine for a couple of minutes right?" Killua can't look at Gon right now.

"Yeah." Gon smiles. At least Killua can hear the smile in his voice. "Killua, I'm really happy to have a friend like you." Gon's voice stops Killua who was rushing over to the bathroom. "I don't know where I would be without you."

Killua's heart skips a beat. Too much is going on right now. He's so hot and turned on but Gon's words right now have made him feel so happy. He's frozen. His lips turning in a smile. "...You don't have to say things like that." Killua's stomach is full with pleasant butterflies. "You embarrass me."

"But it's true." Gon chuckles over on the bed.

"...you should get ready for bed. I'll join you when I'm done." Killua forces himself into the bathroom even though he wants more than anything to go over there and feel Gon's body against his own. He wants to speak his mind. He wants to tell Gon how he feels but every time he even thinks about it he gets choked up. Hopefully when they're in a romantic setting he'll be able to do it...he's going to have to. Killua can't go on like this. Not when he's filled with too much hope. If so he'll end up losing control one day. He could do something Gon doesn't want.
Killua won't let that happen.

The ex-assassin turns on the shower, taking off his clothes quickly. It's been awhile since I've done this...Killua shivers when he grabs his member. He sits down on the tub, his eyes closing. just real quick. He bites his other hand to stop himself from being too loud as he pleasures himself to Gon once again. He thinks of Gon's smile, his abs, the way he would look underneath him. He hears Gon's moans in his head as pictures himself thrusting into him. Killua bites his wrist hard when he thinks of Gon moaning his name, arching his back as Killua goes as deep as he can go, Gon's eyes opening, drool at the corner of his mouth.

"I love you Killua."

the ex-assassin finishes hard, his mouth opening in a silent scream as he catches his cum with his hand. Killua breathes heavily, enjoying the after glow. The ex-assassin lost it when Gon told him he loves him in his fantasy. That's what Killua wants more than anything. For Gon to love him. Killua isn't sure how their date is going to go or how Gon will react. Even if Gon doesn't love him...he hopes that one day Gon could return his feelings. If not, Killua will have to settle for this. He'll have to hide away from his best friend to satisfy his unpure urges. He'll just have to imagine Gon saying he loves him...

"I'm pathetic." Killua chuckles humorlessly as he stands up and walks over to the sink. He washes his hands before he looks at himself in the mirror. His cheeks are still flushed from his deed. He glares at himself. No matter what. He has to tell Gon. He has to tell him when they go out on the date. He can't bottle this up anymore. He'll go insane.

"There's a good chance..." Killua mumbles to himself, his purple eyes lighting up when he thinks about how Gon said he liked him kissing him and how he got in his lap. He thinks about how Gon got jealous. Killua's heart lifts. "I just can't mess this date up...and then...maybe...Gon will be..." Killua can't say it out loud. His lips tingle, and he feels emotional. Killua almost can't believe it. He's sure that he'll be turned down but the hope is pushing him on. Killua would have thought he died and gone to heaven if Gon was his. All his. Killua would never let him go. He'd give him everything...his body, his power, his heart. Gon already has all of him. If Gon were to tell him he wants to have sex...Killua would give him his body. Even if Gon didn't love him. Even if Gon only wanted to use him for sex. It's sad but Killua would let him.

He just wants to please Gon. He wants him all to himself. So if Gon really would give him a chance to be his boyfriend...to have him...

Killua can't even comprehend it. He feels faint. It's been hard just thinking about confessing his feelings to Gon. He hasn't had the time to comprehend what to do if Gon returns his feelings or if he doesn't. Killua takes a deep breath. One step at a time...first I have to actually confess to him...I can't get too excited. He might say no.

"He'll say no." That voice chuckles getting Killua to turn off the water. He pulls up his pants and turns off the shower. He walks out of the bathroom to find the lights have been turned off and Gon is laying in bed. Killua smiles to himself, forgetting about that voice when he sees Gon laying in the bed, being able to see him in the darkness. Gon's eyes open and he beams over at him.

"Come on Killua." Gon holds out his arms. Killua doesn't have to be asked twice. He gets into bed with Gon and puts himself into his arms. Killua sighs in contentment at feeling Gon's chest pressed against his own. He curls into Gon like a happy kitten. Killua's eves light up when he notices Gon put the foxbear next to him. So cute...

Gon kisses Killua's neck lightly. "Good night Killua. Get ready to fight! Tomorrow is going to be filled with action." Gon chuckles. " at least I hope so. I want to fight someone."

"Of course you do." Killua smiles to himself, his heart calming down. "I hope that guy really does show up. I want a piece of him." Killua cracks his knuckles, thinking of all the damage this guy has caused. He's sure this guy has something to do with the other Killua and Gon's wound. He framed him and has been putting added stress on Gon.

"You'll get a piece." Gon smiles as he nuzzles his head into Killua's chest. "But I get most of him." Gon grins.

"Like always." Killua shakes his head but he can't stop his smile.

"...I hope we can find Clover tomorrow." Gon mumbles, yawning when Killua starts to run his hand through his hair.

"If everything goes right, maybe we will." Killua rubs Gon's back. Feeling more touchy feely after just finishing. His muscles are all relaxed and any time Gon touches him it feels so good. Killua closes his eyes when Gon starts to scratch his scalp.

"I don't know what I'm more excited about. Fighting the guy who stole clover or your surprise." Gon beams, getting Killua's heart to skip a beat.

"You'll like it." Killua kisses the top of Gon's head.

"I know I will." Gon yawns again.

"Go to bed." Killua closes his eyes again, a smile on his lips.

"I will." Gon chuckles before he shifts, making himself more comfortable. "Good night Killua." Gon sighs in contentment as he nuzzles his head against Killua's cheek before his body relaxes. Just like that Gon is asleep. He snores lightly in Killua's arms.

The ex-assassin will always be amazed at how fast Gon can fall asleep. Killua smiles to himself as he nuzzles his head against Gon's. He won't be able to fall asleep for awhile but that's okay. He's more than content just to lay in bed with Gon in his arms.

I love you Gon...If only it was that simple. Then Killua could say those words and Gon would be his man.

Killua wants him so much it hurts.

---

"It's Friday, Friday, getting down on Friday. Everybody looking forward to the weekend, weekend~" Hisoka walks into the cabin, singing to himself, a cotton candy in his hand. "Partying, partying yeah! Partying partying yeah! Fun, fun, fun-"

"What are you doing?" Illumi turns his head away from the TV to look at the other male, his face blank. "Please stop whatever it is."

"Don't be a joy kill. I heard this song on the radio and I couldn't stop singing it." Hisoka chuckles.

"I take it you enjoyed yourself today?" Illumi notices the cotton candy in his hand before he looks at the TV.

"I had a blast." Hisoka licks his lips as he walks into the room.

"Your arm is wounded."

"Thanks to your little brother. He's grown so much." Hisoka sighs blissfully. When Illumi gives him a look, he chuckles. "I know. I know. Off limits."

"So you found Kil and his friends? You must have gotten close to them for Kil to attack you...did you get any useful information?"

"Did I!" Hisoka chuckles as he takes a seat next to Illumi. "The curse is progressing. I found Gon talking to himself while he was digging into his own wrist. He ended up digging to the bone. Apparently he thought it was Killua who was cutting his wrist but he was the only one there." Hisoka smiles thinking about it. "Killua is the tormentor and Gon's seeing things so bad he cut deeply into himself. I must say, the things he was saying were interesting too." Hisoka chuckles. It seems his little Gon has a crush.

"Killua is his tormentor? That's strange." Illumi's eyebrows furrow before he looks back at the TV. "But you said he cut into his own flesh...he hurt himself. Good. I'm sure that means wave two is about to hit."

"That wasn't the second wave?" Hisoka raises an eyebrow.

"No. That was just the tormentor messing with the host. The second wave of the curse will have him very emotional. He'll be weak and more prone to hurt himself. He'll be vulnerable, any little thing could set him off. It will be hard to control himself." Illumi hums as he keeps watching TV. "I still have to wait though. It won't be that bad. After the second wave the tormentor will bother him more often. The curse will start to break down his mental will." Illumi glances over at the Fox who is walking around in the cage. She whines, scratching at the bottom, trying to dig her way out. "Gon is nothing but a trapped animal at this point." Illumi looks forward. "Did you find out where they are staying? And do you know if Kil knows of the curse?"

"They don't know of the curse. If they did, Gon wouldn't have had a reason to hide his wrist from everyone." Hisoka hums. "I wasn't able to find out where they stay. I had to stay away from them to calm myself down. I really wanted to kill them. The look in their eyes..." Hisoka moans. He had so much fun. Killua really wanted to kill him. The ex-assassin is possessive, just like Hisoka is possessive. Killua looks like he has no intention of letting the enhancer from slipping through his fingers. It's amusing because it seems they don't know about each others feelings.

Hisoka smirks over at Illumi. He really wants to tell him. He wants to tell him why Killua attacked him. He wants to tell him his little brother is in love with another man. He wants to see Illumi go nuts.

"It doesn't matter. Tomorrow they will fight the demon in the dungeon. As the curse progresses they will know something is wrong. They will end up telling Kil of the curse. And when all seems lost...that's when big brother will come in. A savior." Illumi chuckles darkly. Hisoka doesn't get to hear him laugh much but this one sends an excited shiver down his spine. "Tomorrow I want you to stay around here. Don't bother them."

"Does that mean we can do something?" Hisoka wiggles his eyebrows, Illumi giving him a pointed look.

"If you mean by 'do something' watching TV then yes."

"Let's go out and have some drinks." Hisoka grins. "A toast. Your plan is going over smoothly. And I must say I'm enjoying the ride."

"I suppose we could do that." Illumi looks at the TV again. "I can't talk about it anymore. I'm getting too excited." Illumi's face is as blank as it always is.

Hisoka blinks when he looks at what Illumi is watching. "16 and pregnant?" He gives him a questioning look.

"It's funny." Illumi doesn't blink.

"You're pretty fucked up too aren't' you?" Hisoka shakes his head but that doesn't stop him from spending the remainder of the night sitting next to Illumi. The assassin watching TV while Hisoka builds a card tower. As they sit here, the curse is progressing. As they sit here, Illumi's plan is falling in place. It's almost going too perfectly.

I wonder what I could do to stir up some trouble? Hisoka's eyes roll back. He's really having too much fun with this.

---

"Man that's insane." Leorio speaks as they walk into their hotel room together. Kurapika is looking forward but he's not really seeing. His gray eyes glossed over. "His wrist...and all that happened when we were separated from him in that short period of time. I know I said that the other Killua might be an hallucination from him being sick but now...I don't know what to think. I find it hard to believe that Gon did that to himself. I really think Hisoka has something to do with the other Killua." Leorio's eyebrows furrow as he thinks to himself.

Kurapika walks over to the bed and sits down, his hair getting in his face, covering his eyes. His heart is still beating fast from seeing Gon's hurt wrist and hearing his story. If Kurapika didn't know what he knows, he would be like Leorio and Killua. He wouldn't- couldn't believe that Gon would do that to himself. He would think that the other Killua has to be the fox stealer or something involved. He might even think Hisoka was the cause...But Kurapika knows better. The other Killua has to be a part of the curse. Kurapika's not sure if the other Killua has the ability to hurt Gon, or if Gon did that to himself but all he knows is that the curse has gotten much, much stronger. Gon has been physically scarred by it.

It makes sense why Gon let Hisoka come with them. He wanted to hide the wound from Killua and Leorio, to hide the curse from them. What bothers Kurapika though is that Hisoka must know something is wrong with Gon if he witnessed it. He must know that he has a weakness right now. Which could be dangerous.

It seems to the Kurta that Hisoka is just playing games. He's not completely sure if Hisoka has anything to do with Clover or the other Killua but Kurapika feels like Hisoka is involved in some way. Hisoka helped Gon hide his wound just so he could get closer to them. All he did was cause trouble with Killua . Kurapika made Leorio drive them around for a long time but he didn't sense them being followed. Hisoka might not have followed them at all when they left the park.

Kurapika bites his lip. Gon must have been feeling guilty about keeping things from Killua. He showed him his wound and explained why he let Hisoka come with them. Gon told the true story, even saying that he might have done this to himself and called me and Leorio out on thinking it could be in his head. But he didn't tell them about the curse. Gon is still keeping that detail out. He must be feeling bad because he told Killua about the fox stealer in the dungeon. Kurapika can't help to feel though there's something that he doesn't know. A piece of information Gon might be holding from him. Kurapika believes that Gon told the truth but he feels like it wasn't the whole story.

Kurapika grips his fists. We should have never hid something like this from them. I told Gon I would wait a full week but it was hard to keep quiet after seeing Gon hurt like that and seeing the guilt in his eyes. I would take the blame. But Gon gave him this look. He was thinking about telling them but then he just didn't. Both Leorio and Killua will be angry. He can already see a fight coming on but he will stay quiet in till the week is up.

Tomorrow they'll fight the fox stealer. If all goes well maybe they can put an end to this once and for all. But for some reason...deep in the back of Kurapika's mind he has this fear, this deep dread. There's a piece missing, he knows there is. He just can't put it all together.

"...Why do you think he'd try to hide that from us?" Leorio has been talking this whole time but Kurapika hasn't been paying attention. The blonde looks over to see Leorio taking off his shirt, he's wearing pajama bottoms that he wasn't before. "I mean...if he thought the fox stealer attacked, why wouldn't he tell us and then we could have looked for him? And why would he believe anything that Hisoka says?" Leorio's eyebrows furrow.

"I don't know." Kurapika swallows. It's because I told him I thought the other Killua was in his head because of the curse. He believed Hisoka because he told him he saw everything. Gon was probably really confused and frighten.

"I'm worried about him. First his high fever and now this. Both were brought on by him seeing this other Killua." Leorio is working through it. Kurapika wonders if he'll find out that something is wrong. "When we find that fox guy tomorrow...I'm going to beat it out of him. He needs to stop messing with Gon." Leorio's nose flares.

Kurapika watches Leorio rant, this protective air to him. A fatherly air. Kurapika can't help to smile, even after how horrible he's been feeling. "I feel the same way Leorio." They both care and want to protect Gon. He's like their child. He's family. Gon is the one that brought them together.

Leorio glances over at Kurapika, only for his cheeks to tint. He grins. "Killua feels the same way too. Hell we might not be able to do anything. Killua's going to go crazy on him. I could see it in his eyes when he was hugging Gon. He's very protective of him. It's cute." Leorio smiles before the dog starts to bark in the bathroom. "That reminds me. He better be taking Gon on a date soon. I'm getting tired of looking after this dog."

"I know it's not going to be tomorrow. But probably soon." Kurapika smiles to himself. "He was trying today. He even won Gon a stuffed animal. Killua seems to be getting more and more confident." Kurapika frowns slightly when he thinks of Gon's expression when he had saw him after the haunted house. The way he was looking...there was something more than just guilt for hiding his wound. He had lost a bit of confidence. When ever he would touch Killua he looked worried. As if he wasn't sure if it was right. Killua touching him and being protective of him helped Gon to get back to normal. He seemed better in the room when Killua was hugging him.

"Yeah. Gon got jealous of those girls that were hanging on Killua." Leorio chuckles, smiling about it. The cheery air breaks between them soon though. "I'll have to pay close enough to his wound. I think Killua has a good point. If someone is with Gon all the time then we'll be able to stop the other Killua."

"Yeah. Killua won't let Gon out of his sight now." Kurapika nods, those gray eyes shifting away.

"I'm going to take the dog for a walk. Want to come with me?" Leorio smiles as he grabs the leash Killua bought.

"I could use a walk." Kurapika stands up. Those gray eyes take in Leorio's slight limp. "Are you sure you're okay? I could walk the dog by myself." Kurapika comes up behind Leorio and hugs him from behind. "I hurt you pretty bad last night." Kurapika kisses in between Leorio's shoulders, goosebumps can be seen on his shoulders.

"Yeah...You went all night." Leorio's face gets red as Kurapika rubs his lower stomach, his hand going in a circle.

"You just made me really happy." Kurapika kisses Leorio's shoulder. "I couldn't control myself."

"I know. You apologized for it a lot today." Leorio mumbles, leaning into Kurapika's touch. "I mean it hurt today but last night...it felt good."

"So you liked me on top?" Kurapika kisses the back of the older man's neck.

"Just a little bit." Leorio mumbles. "Let's walk the dog before you get me distracted."

"Okay." Kurapika pulls back, a soft smile on his lips as Leorio opens the bathroom door, the white German Shepherd comes running, her tongue hanging out. "I'm going to give you a treat later." Kurapika's eyes flash scarlet.

"Oh?" Leorio gives him a lust filled look before he sniffs the air. He looks into the bathroom. "She shit in the bathroom again!" Leorio groans.

"I'm not cleaning it." Kurapika chuckles when Leorio gives him a look. "I did it last time."

"This dog...ugh Killua better hurry the hell up! No dog! No! You don't go the bathroom in the bathroom...You're a dog so you go outside!" Leorio yells at the puppy who just tilts its head at him.

"She can't understand you Leorio." Kurapika can't help to be amused. The blonde takes the leash and puts it on the puppy's collar. The puppy wags her tail, prancing around excitedly.

Leorio groans but he gets to cleaning the bathroom. Kurapika picks up Sam who started to meow at his feet. He picks him up and nuzzles the kitten. The blonde still has that dread in the back of his mind but for right now, he'll enjoy this moment. Tomorrow he'll give all he can to save Gon and to find the missing piece.

He'll enjoy this moment when Leorio isn't angry at him. He will be soon though. Kurapika will take the fight in stride.

"Let's go." Leorio comes out of the bathroom. Kurapika smiles.

"Lets."

---

Gon wakes up with a start, his eyes snapping open. He calms down when he sees Killua's face right in front of his. Gon closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He doesn't remember his dream but he knows he hated it. He knows somewhere in the dream, he lost Killua. Gon tries to calm his racing heart as he becomes aware of Killua's arms around his waist.

It's okay. Killua is here. The dream was just a dream. Killua said he would never leave...Killua said he would never hate me. Gon opens his eyes to look at his friend's face. Killua looks so peaceful, his hair in his face, his tiny nose flaring. The raven haired male finds himself smiling, his body completely relaxing.

Gon was feeling horrible yesterday. He felt guilty for hiding his wound from everyone and from having Hisoka around. He felt afraid though when he saw Killua. He was more worried about Killua finding out about how Gon wants to make love to him than him finding out about his wound. The whole time he couldn't help to think of the other Killua's words and his expression. He couldn't help to be worried that maybe...the real Killua felt the same.

As the day went by though, Killua touched him and smiled at him. He was protective of him and he even got him a stuffed FoxBear! That's a romantic gesture...It's something Gon would do on a date. Killua ended up wanting to fight Hisoka because of his words towards him. Killua cares about him. Killua wouldn't hate him. Killua even said so when Gon asked about it later. The other Killua is nothing but a fake. What he said has no connection with how the real Killua feels.

Gon felt so bad for hiding things that he decided that he had to come clean about something. He couldn't tell Killua his secret. He couldn't admit to wanting to make love to him. He would lose the game and...to be honest, Gon got scared. He saw the Other Killua's glare and he felt sick. He decided that he'd rather Killua know about the wound than his feelings.

As Gon expected, Killua was mad he hid it from him. He scolded him and got angry but Killua didn't hate him. He was just worried about him. He cares about him. He looked at him with concern and he wanted to hurt whoever did this to him. Even when Gon admitted that it could have been him that did this to himself, Killua didn't look at him strangely. He didn't yell at him. Killua just wants Gon to be more honest with him. Gon couldn't tell him about the curse though. If he did, Killua wouldn't take him out in a couple of days. He would be focused on trying to find the fox and he'd be really worried. So Gon told him about how the fox stealer will be in the dungeon tomorrow and hoped that Killua wouldn't ask too many questions about how he knew that. Kurapika saved him by saying Gon did give the leader his phone number. Gon was drawn a blank. The only reason the leader could contact him was the curse...

Gon is glad that Killua and Leorio seemed confused about it. Leorio and Killua think his wound has something to do with Hisoka. Killua doesn't think I did this to myself...Gon looks down at his hand that's stinging slightly when he moves it. It's hard to believe myself. It felt so real. It was like Killua was really there...Gon shakes his head.

That Killua wasn't real. Don't let it get to you. It's the curse talking. Killua was kissing me last night. He was holding me in his arms...He loves me. He's mine. It's okay...

Gon was hoping that he would have forgotten about what happened last night or at least feel better about it but it's still lingering in the back of his mind. Gon doesn't feel completely rested either. It was like his nightmare drained the energy out of him.

Killua suddenly opens his eyes, those blue, slanted eyes boring into his own. Gon can't help to stare more. Killua is so beautiful. Those eyes sparkle like a diamond. There's this darkness about his blue eyes, but there's also this light too. The way they're slanted is so alluring. Gon's mind is erased of all his thoughts, his heart beating slowly in his chest.

"See something you like?" Killua's lips turn in a teasing smile after awhile, a mischievous look to those eyes.

"Yes." Gon says bluntly. He smiles when Killua's cheeks get pink. "I love your eyes Killua, they're so amazing!"

"You don't' have to say that." Killua flushes, glancing away. "Were you...watching me as I sleep?"

"Yeah." Gon answers honestly. "Is that bad?" Gon feels a little panicked when Killua's bangs cover his eyes. Is he angry? Does he not like it? Should I not?-

"...No." Killua mumbles. When Gon looks closer he can see there's a blush spreading to his neck. "It's not bad. It's just you being a weirdo." He doesn't say it meanly though. Gon beams.

"Yeah I guess." Gon chuckles. "I couldn't help it. You looked so peaceful."

"Don't talk about it." Killua gives him a look, maybe it was suppose to be a glare but it looks more like a pout. Gon smiles. This feels normal. Nothing has changed. Gon blinks when Killua leans in and gives him a kiss on the forehead. "Good morning Gon..." Killua pulls away before glancing at Gon's wrist. The raven haired male can feel his heart skipping in his chest. "How is your wrist feeling?"

"Oh it's okay." Gon moves his arm, but he can't hide his wince. Killua gives him a pointed look as he sits up in bed.

"You're in pain." Killua reaches over and grabs his phone. "I'm going to tell Leorio we're up so he can start changing your dressing." He texts something before he gives Gon a firm look. "Don't go too crazy today. You're at a disadvantage."

"I'll be fine Killua." Gon grins as he makes a fist with both of his hands, holding back his grimace when his wrist hurts. "I'm going to show him!"

Killua watches Gon's eyes light up with that fire. He smiles to himself, looking down at his phone. "Yeah." Killua grabs Gon's cheek and pulls, a grin on his lips. "Just watch it. The enemy will try to aim at it. I know you're itching to fight, hell I am too. Just watch your arm."

"I will." Gon smiles reassuringly, that fire not leaving him. He's determined to fight this fox stealer, get Clover and break the curse. He's hoping he can do it all today.

Their hotel door opens and Leorio comes in. He's still in his pajamas, not wearing a shirt. Kurapika isn't with him.

"Leorio." Gon waves, despite not getting a good nights sleep he's starting to feel better with waking up to Killua and seeing his other friend.

"Good morning you guys. How are you feeling Gon? Hows your arm?" Leorio sits down on the bed next to Gon, setting down his suit case.

"It's fine-" Killua gives him a look. Gon smiles sheepishly. "It hurts a little bit."

"I bet it does." Leorio shakes his head as he takes out scissors. He cuts the bandages on Gon's wrist, holding his arm steady. The bandages fall off, revealing Gon's wrist. The wound doesn't look like it's made any healing progress. It's still red and Gon can see his bone when he moves his wrist. He grimaces. He can see Killua staring at his wrist, a frown on his lips. "Hmm...It doesn't look like there's any purulent drainage. It's red and the edges aren't closing. I doubt they are going to close. You're going to have a big scar right here." Leorio points around it.

"You see, now that I have a better look at it, it looks like you got your skin peeled off." Leorio frowns as he washes it with a wet soapy rag, he pours water on it, catching the water with a towel so it doesn't get on the bed. He pats the wound dry. Gon keeps his face blank even though it hurts. He thought the wound would have started to scab. But it looks as fresh as it did yesterday.

"We'll keep the inside moist." Leorio puts a square thing on his wrist before he wraps his wrist up in a bandage once again. "I'll change it again once we get back from the dungeon."

"Thank you Leorio." Gon smiles at his older friend. His wrist still feels sore but he'll deal with it.

"No problem. Kurapika is taking a shower right now. He says we should head out as soon as we can. He seems ready to fight this guy." Leorio grins. "I think we all are." Leorio stands up from the bed. "So you two hurry up and get ready."

"Got it!" Gon jumps up from the bed, gripping his fists, his eyes bright. "I can't wait." Gon gets off the bed and rushes over to the dresser. Leorio watches Gon move before giving Killua a smile. He walks over and whispers something to Killua. Killua listens before he nods his head.

"Tomorrow." Killua says. Leorio nods before he leaves, his smile is from ear to ear.

"What about tomorrow?" Gon looks over at Killua as he takes off his shirt, his head getting stuck in the hole for a minute before he pulls it off of him.

"Nothing. Just that I'm taking you out tomorrow. I already told Leorio and Kurapika." Killua says causally as he walks over to his dresser and picks out his clothes.

"And they don't mind?" Gon smiles as he puts on a black shirt and green sweat pants. An outfit that will be easy to fight in.

"Nope. They're probably happy. They're that old couple that never slows down." Killua's nose wrinkles as he puts on his fighting outfit. Blue sweat pants and a white shirt. "They're so nasty."

"What's nasty about them?" Gon frowns, looking over at Killua. "You don't like them together?"

"It's not that I don't like them together. I could care less. But it's so obvious when they have sex it's just like...yuck." Killua makes a gagging noise. "I don't care what they do, I just don't want to know about it."

"I don't mind it unless I walk into it." Gon's cheeks tint, he shifts from foot to foot. "Do you not like sex Killua?" Gon finds his stomach twisting when an image of the other Killua's disgusted expression invades his mind. He looks at his hands. "Do you not like sex between men?"

"W-What?" Killua looks at Gon with wide eyes. When he notices how Gon is looking at the ground, shifting his foot. Killua straightens himself out. " It's not that I don't like sex between men. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just because...it's Kurapika and Leorio that it grosses me out. They're our friends and it's just, ew. But it's not that I don't like them together or that I don't like guys having sex." Killua's face is getting so red as he tries to explain himself.

"So you're not grossed out about guys having sex?" Gon glances up at Killua.

"No. That doesn't gross me out. Not at all." Killua flushes.

"...Does it gross you out that two friend are having sex?" Gon presses. He feels his stomach twist, worrying about what Killua will say.

"No it's just...well, think about how you felt when you saw them doing it. It wasn't pleasant was it?" Killua watches Gon's cheeks get red and he shakes his head. "See? It's like that for me. When they're obvious about when they have sex, I get mental images I don't want. It's just weird thinking about you know? Not because they're guys or that they're friends. I think it's perfectly find for guys who are friends to have sex-" Killua says the last part with the blush reaching his ears. He glances away. Killua pulls at his sweat pants. "I don't think anything is wrong with that..." Killua glances over at Gon from the corner of his eye. "Do you?"

"Yeah I think that's fine too." Gon feels his face heat up. He can't help to smile though, feeling better. Killua isn't grossed out about guys having sex or friends having sex. He thinks it's okay. "That makes sense. I guess I'm just slow to picking out when they have sex. I get so proud when I figure it out though." Gon chuckles.

"You're so weird." Killua shakes his head, chuckling as they make their way into the bathroom to brush their teeth.

"That reminds me. Leorio was saying because he was mad at Kurapika that he wasn't going to have sex with him. They say it's punishment a lot of couples use." Gon looks over at Killua to see him sputter.

"Why the hell would he say stuff like that in front of you? What are they? Creeps who like an audience?" Killua mumbles as he starts to brush his teeth.

"I don't know. I think Leorio wanted to embarrass Kurapika." Gon looks at his refection in the mirror. He brushes his teeth, staring at himself, thinking. "Hey Killua?"

"Yeah?" Killua spits into the sink, wiping his mouth.

"Is it okay to think about having sex with someone when you aren't with them?" Gon finds himself asking.

Killua freezes. He glances over at Gon, his expression blank but those eyes are studying him. "What do you mean?"

"Is it bad...to have thoughts about someone when you aren't dating them?" Gon can't look at Killua. He stares at himself, his heart beating faster in his chest. "...And touch yourself?"

Killua's expression falls to a scowl before he looks away from Gon. He's quiet for a moment, this tense air between them that is getting Gon nervous. "Are you saying this because you have thoughts about having sex with that man?" Killua's voice is low. His bangs are covering his eyes. "Do you touch yourself at the thought of...him?" His voice turns to a snarl when he says 'him'. Gon can tell Killua is angry right now but he's keeping himself calm and still.

Gon frowns. Is Killua angry because he doesn't think it's him? Because he's jealous? Or because i'm having thoughts about someone I'm not dating? Gon relaxes when he feels that jealous spark, that possessive flare from his best friend. Killua is trying to hide it from him though. Killua is jealous.

If I'm honest Killua will get madder because he thinks I'm having thoughts of another man. He wants me to be more honest with him though...

"Don't lie to me." Killua's voice is neutral but it set Gon's resolve.

"I've touched myself before...at the thought of him." Gon's eyes shift away, his heart beating quickly from admitting it. It feels wrong coming from his lips. Like he's confessed a sin. "Leorio told me I should to grow up and realize things and it has made me realize things but...I never thought if it was wrong or strange."

"Leorio told you to touch yourself? At the thought of this man?" Killua's voice is calm. Too clam. There's an eeriness to it.

"Eh?" Gon's eyes widen when he sees the deep scowl on Killua's face. "D-Don't get mad at Leorio Killua! I asked for the advice awhile ago." Gon's face gets red. He wasn't thinking when he was talking. He shouldn't have brought Leorio into this.

"I'm not mad at Leorio Gon." Killua suddenly smiles, his expression completely changing. "And to answer your question, I think it is wrong. Who knows what this guy has? You shouldn't be thinking about having sex with him if you're not even with him." Killua looks away from Gon, his smile hasn't left his lips though. "Touching yourself to someone you don't have is pretty pathetic."

Gon feels his heart shatter. The raven haired male nods his head, his shoulders slump. It's true. Killua would be angry if he knew he touched himself to thoughts of him. I've done something wrong...It's just I wanted to know what the sickness was and then...I did it because it felt good. Killua said it's pathetic...so he thinks I'm pathetic now.

"You don't deserve me." The other Killua's voice pops in his head. Gon feels his eyes get watery, his wrist throbs and it itches. He blinks his eyes back to normal, not wanting Killua to see him upset. He already thinks he's pathetic.

Killua doesn't say anything more as he walks pass him and out of the bathroom. Gon looks in the mirror to watch him go. For a moment Killua's face morphs, and he sees that glare of hate before Killua is gone. Gon is left staring at himself in the mirror. His heart beating painfully in his chest, sweat drips down his cheek. As he stares at himself in the mirror, he finds himself glaring. He's angry. Not at Killua. With himself. Gon grabs the sink tightly. Why do I have to be such a kid? Why couldn't I have known that thinking about having sex with Killua was wrong if I'm not with him? Why do I need help with everything? Why am I...

Pathetic. A kid. Island hic. Stupid.

Words are flooding his mind that make him glare darkly at the reflection in the mirror, a pain in his chest. His wrist is itching so badly.

"Gon hurry up. I thought you were in a rush to fight this guy." Killua calls out to him. Gon's glare falls slowly, his breathing becoming even. The fuzziness of his mind fades away and he remembers where he is and what he has to do. Gon can't change his facial expression though. He's angry and upset and he can't hide that.

"Right." Gon will direct this anger into his fight. He will end this curse and maybe then he'll feel better. Gon walks out of the bathroom, Killua is standing off to the side, his hands in his pockets, those blue eyes not looking at him. "Let's go." Gon doesn't look at Killua either as he walks towards the hotel door. He opens it and walks out, Killua following him silently. Why can't I calm down? I feel so angry...I want to hit something...I want to... Gon glances at his wrist, a frown tugging at his lips...hurt myself.

"You two ready?" Leorio comes out of his hotel room with Kurapika. The blonde's eyes immediately lock with Gon's. Kurapika frowns when he takes in the tension in the air. "Whoa!" Leorio chuckles. "You guys look pumped. Gon you look pissed off." Leorio grins at his friend. "I hear you. I'm pissed too. Let's show this guy huh?!" Leorio punches his hand in the air, completely unaware of the atmosphere.

Gon calms a little bit when he see Leorio's cheerful attitude. He also reminds him what his goal is. Fight the fox stealer and get Clover back. He can't let himself get lost in his emotions. He needs to stay focused.

Yet there's still this irritation in the back of his mind. It's like he can't calm down completely. Gon takes a deep breath before he's able to grin. "Yeah...We're going to find Clover." Gon's eyes light up, pushing back what happened between him and Killua. He's going to fight this guy. He's going to find Clover and he's going to break this curse.

Gon can feel Killua staring at him but he doesn't return his gaze. If Gon looks at Killua...he might get upset again or angry. So he ignores him.

"Hell yeah we are!" Leorio cheers.

"Please excuse him. He had an energy drink this morning." Kurapika sighs, shaking his head. "Let's get some breakfast before we head out. I did some research and it seems that the dungeon has 10 floors. The 10th floor is the bottom. It is said only a few people have been able to make it all the way to the bottom. So it will probably take some time. The dungeon isn't just filled with people to fight but riddles as well. It requires that you go in with at least one other person as your team mate. That won't be an issue because we're going in together." Kurapika starts to walk down the stairs. Leorio walks by his side, wrapping his arm around Kurapika and kissing his head. Gon feels a part of him sink. He longs to touch Killua like that. He wants to look over at Killua but he's worried about what he'll feel or see. Kurapika and Leorio look so happy...I want that.

"You're pathetic. You'll never have that. You're dirty." He can hear Killua's voice, taunting.

Gon grips his fists, his wrist burning. He wants to scratch it. He feels that anger again. He feels defensive but it's only because he feels...so disgusted with himself. Killua has been such a good friend to me and...what have I done? Killua means everything to me. I don't want to do anything that will make him angry...It just it felt so good and I wanted to think of Killua. He makes me feel amazing. Killua said he wouldn't hate me. Kurapika says he loves me...

"How can you know for sure?" Killua sneers in his mind. "I much prefer a girl with giant tits to you."

Gon closes his eyes, that flare of anger coming again but really he feels like just hiding somewhere. He's so confused and his head hurts. But the pain isn't enough. He wants to fight, he wants to bring pain to himself. He feels it. There's this ringing in his head that he just can't stop.

"-Gon? Are you alright?" Gon blinks and looks up. Kurapika is sitting by his side at the table. They're sitting at the cafe. When did we get here? Gon's eyebrows furrow as he looks around the table. Everyone is staring at him. Even Killua. Gon quickly looks away from the ex-assassin though and turns his attention back to Kurapika who is looking at him with concern.

"Yeah...I'm fine." Gon smiles sheepishly. He hopes it doesn't look strained. "I spaced out for a minute there I guess." He rubs the back of his head.

"Yeah you did. I've been trying to talk to you for awhile now."as Kurapika says this a lady comes and places a plate of pancakes in front of everyone. "I hope you don't mind I ordered you pancakes?"

"No this looks good." Gon smiles at the blonde. "what were you trying to say to me?"

"I was just asking about your wrist and if you're feeling okay. You looked kind of angry when I first saw you. And now you've spaced out." Kurapika puts a hand on his shoulder. Gon smiles at the comfort and the concern.

"I was just thinking." Gon shakes his head. He feels more comfortable talking to Kurapika right now. The blonde knows what's up with him. Gon has always felt like he could confide in the blonde. Just like he did during the hunter exam when he was upset when Hisoka beat him. It's not that Gon doesn't like telling Killua these things but he doesn't like Killua seeing him when he's weak. Especially back then. Killua was so strong. He didn't want to tell him how embarrassingly he failed.

"Thinking about kicking butt." Leorio says with his mouth full.

"Seriously Leorio, no more drinking energy drinks. Ever." Kurapika scolds the other male which gets Leorio to wave him off.

"Killua you haven't been saying much today." Kurapika looks pass Gon. The raven haired male doesn't look but his ears peak up wanting to hear what Killua says in response.

"Eh not much to say." Killua sounds disinterested. "We're going to the dungeon and we're going to beat this guy."

"...Gon you aren't eating." Kurapika turns his attention back on Gon. The raven haired male looks down at his pancakes that are soaked in syrup and butter.

"I'm not really hungry." Gon says honestly. His stomach recoils from the smell of the pancakes. The table gets quiet. Leorio stops eating, looking at Gon with wide eyes. Killua is looking at him. Gon can feel it but he won't return his gaze.

"Really? You're not hungry?" Kurapika frowns.

"Do you feel sick again?" Leorio asks, his eyebrows furrowing, doctor mode on.

"No. I just don't feel hungry right now." Gon smiles at his friends reassuringly. "Don't worry. I'll eat something later."

"I think you should eat something now for strength when we fight this guy." Leorio says.

"I got plenty of strength." Gon grins, flexing his muscles. "I'll eat later."

"Okay...then can I have your pancakes?" Leorio mumbles the question.

"Sure." Gon chuckles, pushing over his pancakes.

"Maybe we could celebrate after we take care of this guy. I say going out to eat and then drinking the night away!" Leorio cheers, eating Gon's pancakes.

"That sounds good." Gon smiles, closing his eyes. He's glad the ringing is gone for now.

"All you want to do is drink." Kurapika sighs but there's a smile on his face.

"I could go for a couple drinks." Killua grunts.

So could I...Gon waits till everyone is done eating and then they make their way to the car. It's so strange. Killua is walking next to him but it feels like he's not even there. Killua doesn't grab his hand. Killua doesn't touch him. Gon doesn't touch him either.

Everyone gets into the car. Gon shifting in his seat when Killua doesn't sit far away from him. He sits right next to him. Gon can feel Killua looking at him before he looks forward. Maybe I should try to make conversation.

Leorio turns on the radio. Gon settles for looking out of the window. He doesn't know what to say. Killua isn't talking to him either. So maybe he doesn't want to talk to him right now.

A song comes on the radio...One Gon hasn't heard before.

" Places, places get in your places. Put on your dress and put on your doll faces. Everyone thinks that we're perfect, please don't let them look through the curtains. Picture, picture smile for the picture..."

"That sounds creepy." Leorio turns off the radio.

Gon is left in silence. Kurapika and Leorio talking to themselves. Killua sits next to him. They don't speak and Gon tries not to think. He doesn't want to get angry or upset again. He has to stay focused.

He has a fox stealer to fight and a curse to break.

---

Doll house by Melanie Martinez

Friday by Rebecca black.