The Light In Your Eyes

by Maddylovesyou

A light that is so precious. A light that brings hope and can change any situation from dire to okay. A light that one would kill for. Killua would certainly kill for him.

17. Chapter 17

"Still no purulent drainage, that's a good sign. It's just red..." Leorio mumbles to himself as he looks over Gon's wrist with calculating eyes. Right now Gon is currently sitting on his bed with Kurapika next to him, watching the doctor work. Leorio is sitting on his right side, examining the wound after he had taken the old bandages off. The raven haired male glances down at his wrist in mild interest. I'm just glad it's stopped burning and itching.

Gon didn't know how much he could take. After having that fight with Killua, he couldn't get the other Killua out of his head. The taunting, the ringing, the itching...it was driving him insane. But he had to keep moving. He couldn't stop. He had to fight the fox stealer. He had to break the curse. He had to keep moving...But as he was walking down that cave with Kurapika, he soon got lost in his mind. He couldn't tell if he was walking anymore. His body felt numb. All he was aware of was the other Killua's words and the itching of his wrist.

He wanted to rip his skin off. He wanted it to go away. Yet at the same time...he felt as if he would deserve the pain.

Gon is so grateful Kurapika stepped in and got him out of his nightmare. After talking with the blonde he realized how stupid he was. He was losing to the curse. It's using Killua against him. Kurapika just had to remind him of how Killua loves him. And then it all fell into place. Killua was just jealous, that's why he was saying those hurtful things...

He was able to grab a hold of himself. Once the traps started going off, Gon was in his element. There was no ringing or the other Killua. Just this sense of excitement and danger. Gon loved every moment of it. When he had fell in that hole with the spikes, his stomach had twisted in the most horrible and delightful way. It's hard to explain. He was scared and hyped up at the same time. Gon has always been like that when it comes to times of great danger, when he's almost lost his life. It gives him this feeling that he can't compare to anything else.

Maybe danger is to him like chocolate is to Killua or alcohol to Leorio. A good fight, a good thrill...it can be addicting.

But something about when he had almost died back in that cave was different. In most cases, Gon is both scared and excited, he accepts that he could die but he certainly doesn't plan on it. Back in that cave...Gon didn't know if he was going to make it out alive. Not at all. This wasn't an enemy to fight. This was a surprise, an unexpected turn of events. Gon had never experienced such a high. His brain was fuzzy and his muscles felt lax, as if he was jumping into a nice cozy bed to sleep in, not a bunch of deadly spikes. It was surreal. Gon never closed his eyes. Even as the spikes got dangerously close to his face, everything was warm, the fear only making him feel amazing. He couldn't move his body. Even if he wanted to.

It was as if he had wanted to die.

When Kurapika saved him, Gon's heart slowed down and that fuzzy feeling went away. The whole experience didn't scare him though. It was fun. That was fun, almost dying. The high and the feelings were too amazing. Gon was pumped after that. It's not as if he wanted to die in that hole but the idea that he could of...made adrenaline pump through his veins. He was so ready to find the fox stealer and show him what he could do. He couldn't wait. Not at all. Gon was full of energy...

"Now read the order back to me." Gon turns his attention away from his wrist, he was distantly watching as Leorio washed his wound and put some cream on it. Killua is standing off near the corner of the room, his cell phone to his ear. He's been on the phone for some time now, ordering them all food. They didn't feel like going out to eat and thought it would be best to just have some food bought to them. Gon doesn't mind. To be honest he still doesn't really feel hungry.

Killua taps his fingers on the wall in a way that Gon knows he's feeling impatient. The way he shifts every once in awhile and- oh, his mouth just twitched. He didn't like something the other person on the phone said. "Uh no? Did you not hear me? I told you I want pickles on the cheeseburger, I want all large fries, the sub is a large and I want cheese on it, and you can not forget the bacon on the sub. He would throw a fit." Killua's eyebrow twitches slightly. "No I do not want to hear your deals-wait hold on. What was that? You say something about a deal on your desserts?" Killua's whole demeanor changes.

Gon can't help to giggle watching his friend. The ex-assassin must hear him because he looks over at Gon giving him a glare. Killua has been on the phone with this guy for at least 30 minutes now. Gon has been watching the whole thing, watching as Killua's patience slowly wears down. Gon has been able to keep himself from smiling at his friend's predicament but when he saw how Killua's whole face lit up at the mention of a deal on desserts, Gon couldn't help but laugh.

That's so Killua.

"Whatever Gon. I deserve something sweet after dealing with this horrible service. And yes, i'm talking about you!" Killua started by waving Gon off only for his lips to twitch when the person said something.

"Easy now Killua we haven't gotten our food yet." Leorio glances over at the younger male before he turns his attention back to wrapping up Gon's wrist. "They might do something to it if you piss them off."

"After all this and they do something to my food I will personally pay them a visit and discuss with them how very displeased I am." Killua's voice gets slow and calm. Eerier. Gon can practically see the other person on the phone gulping. Killua can be scary when he wants to be. Gon's never been effected by it though. "Oh? You got it now? You better. And everything I ordered, I better get. And yes I want the chocolate cake. How long will it be?" There's a pause. "45 minutes? Are you serious? We're hungry now." Gon catches Killua glancing over at him. That last part seemed to be directed towards him.

He's really not hungry though.

"It's okay Killua." Gon reassures.

"Yeah, I'm starving too but I don't want them rushing on the food."

"Ugh fine. That time is fine. How much will all this be?" Killua taps his fingers against the counter again. "70,000J? You got to be kidding me-Yes I'm aware of how much food I've ordered! I had to repeat it like five times!"

"Ask to talk to his manager!"Leorio offers. "Maybe we'll get a discount on the food."

"Leorio." Kurapika scolds at his lover. "We can pay for the food. We don't have to cause him anymore trouble-"

"You know what? I want to speak to your manager about all this. You've been rude and you've wasted 30 minutes of my life trying to talk to you-You are the manager? Seriously?..." There's a pause. "Well fuck me." Gon shivers at Killua's word choice as he watches his best friend still talking on the phone after all this time. He's been arguing most of it. "fine. Okay yes, we'll pay it. Just hurry up." Killua hangs up before letting out a long sigh. He rubs his temples, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath through his nose. "Well, that was unexpected. The retard on the phone was actually the manager."

"Why was he working the phones?" Leorio shakes his head as gets up from his seat next to Gon to get on his knees in front of Kurapika. "Business must be bad if he's working the front."

"Killua why didn't you just call another food place?" Gon tilts his head. He's been wondering this for awhile now. It seemed like it was a lot of trouble.

"Because." Killua rubs at the back of his head. "He was annoying but I had already started on putting in my order. And I wanted to try their cheeseburgers after Kurapika told us about how it's the best sandwich place around here. Also you seemed excited when Kurapika mentioned their bacon..." Killua says the last part under his breath. He huffs, looking annoyed. "Anyway, it's done. I survived it. I just hope they really come in 45 minutes or they will be getting a visit from a not too happy Zoldyck."

"Ohh I bet they'll come alright with you pretty much threatening them on the phone." Leorio is chuckling. Kurapika doesn't seem too happy with this but he doesn't say anything. Gon has noticed Kurapika has been sort of quiet since they've gotten back from the dungeon. He told them about their food options and everything and he's talked with Leorio but he seems a little...off? Maybe that's not the right word. Gon can't really say anything though. He's also been feeling off after what went down in the dungeon too.

A lot of confusing things happen in those caves. His extra high he got from facing death, Killua's behavior, and then that man who called himself a demon...You see, after Kurapika had gotten Gon's head back in the game he decided he was going to apologize to Killua for being mean. What Gon wasn't expecting was Killua to approach him first. The raven haired male was so relieved when Killua apologize to him. It was added proof that Killua didn't mean what he said and that he still loves him. After that, Gon was happy. His mind was clear. Gon and Killua went back to playing around with each other, and smiling and having fun...

But something was different about Killua. Gon couldn't put his finger on it. When he had last saw Killua he was looking down, his eyes duller. When he saw Killua after the cave, he came out with this light in his eyes. A knowledge or some sort of emotion that wasn't there before. It looked like Killua was calculating Gon too as he talked, as if searching for something. He must have found it because Gon once again saw his eyes light up.

Gon won't question it. He's just glad Killua took everything back. It made him feel really good, better than Kurapika telling him he didn't mean it. Everything has gone back to normal. They're holding hands and smiling at each other and laughing. It's back like it should be. Killua doesn't hate him for touching himself. Killua isn't mad anymore, he must have gotten over it.

Killua aside,Gon thinks he knows why Kurapika is off. It's because of the man who called himself a demon. Gon is feeling off because of that too. Kurapika wants to hurt that man to get information but...Gon saw it in that man's eyes. They shouldn't hurt him. He doesn't want to hurt them either. He looked like someone who needs help.

That's why when this man changed his appearance and started to charge towards them that Gon couldn't move. There was something so sad about it...an urge inside of him to help. But at the same time this was happening, his mind went fuzzy. Everything became distorted. He felt tired and weak. It was like his body just shut down on him. It came to a point where the man had turned into nothing more than a black blob coming towards him. It was so surreal. Yet in the back of Gon's mind he could still hear his inner voice. He's okay, he needs help, something is wrong...then the voice warped into a sweeter, more sinister one. We can help. We can help by letting him attack. Let him kill.

That's when he heard Killua call his name. It broke through the voices and the darkness and fuzziness. Gon was able to see and hear everything again normally, right when the monster was right on him. Thank goodness for his fast reflexes. That could have been bad. Probably. Yet when he realized that he could have died, he got this good feeling again. A small high.

Gon wasn't lying to Killua when he spaced out. He really did. Just extremely.

"What are you thinking about?" Gon blinks when Killua flops down next to him, breaking his thoughts. He looks over to see Killua studying him lazily. Gon knows better. Killua is analyzing him right now. Looking for anything wrong or something he should be aware of.

"Nothing really. Just about the fight with that guy." Gon is honest. He doesn't like lying to Killua. He can't wait till when he can come completely clean. Gon yawns, laying his head on Killua's shoulder.

"I figured as much." Killua grunts but Gon felt how he tensed. He relaxed soon after though. Killua plays with his pants for a moment before a hand, unsure, finds it's way around Gon's waist. "Don't keep thinking about it now. We'll deal with it when it happens. You'll get yourself all worked up over it."

He means the idea of torturing that guy for information. Yes, thinking about it will get him worked up. Gon is pretty sure he's going to talk everyone out of doing that. He just has to convince Kurapika that he'll be okay if it takes a little longer.

Gon nods, silently agreeing as he sighs in contentment, enjoying Killua's warmth, his hair against his cheek and his arm around his waist. This feels nice. Just being in Killua's embrace. He wants to touch him more too. He wants to hold him. Gon reflects Killua's actions and puts his arm around Killua's waist, pulling him closer.

"So what do you guys want to do while we wait to eat?" Leorio breaks between the tense atmosphere between the two young boys. It wasn't a bad tenseness like he felt when they were having a fight. No...this tenseness is exciting.

"Perhaps we should leave them alone?" Kurapika looks down at Leorio who is wrapping up his ankle.

"Nah they'll be alone all of tomorrow." Leorio waves him off. "Lets play a drinking game! I've learned a couple from the rare parties I got to go to in college when I would finish all my shit." Leorio smiles to himself thinking about it. "I think we could all use a drink huh?"

"I'm down for drinking."

"I suppose."

"..." Gon is the only one who doesn't seem convinced. It may be because his stomach feels strange. But it's probably because he remembers how some of the liquor smells on Leorio's breath. He also knows that drinking can be bad for your health and it makes you do weird things if you drink too much. But a game does sound like fun... "Hmm what kind of game?" Gon tilts his head.

"There's a couple we could play! Ohh lets see..." Leorio finishes up Kurapika's ankle. He stops thinking to look up at the blonde in concern. "does that feel okay?"

"It's fine Leorio...thank you." Kurapika smiles gently. Gon notices this look in both the male's eyes. An affection there. He can't help to smile with them. Someday I'll have that with Killua...some day soon.

"My pleasure." Leorio kisses Kurapika's bare foot, getting Killua's face to scrunch up.

"Okay if we drink, you better not be getting freaky with your boyfriend alright? This is our room and I rather not have it defiled by you guys having sex in it." Killua's hand is rubbing circles into Gon's back. The raven haired male can't help to wonder if Killua knows he's doing it. But It feels good. He likes the touch.

"I have self control! Even when I drink i'll know not to." Leorio grumbles, glaring at Killua.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Kurapika's face gets red when he looks over at Gon. "We have already traumatized you enough..." He mumbles.

"Alright so...I'm going to go get us some drinks. Any suggestions? I'm getting beer, and some captain Morgan." Leorio's face gets red but it soon goes away as he talks about drinking selections this sly smile twitching his lips. He always gets like this when he's going to get something to drink.

"Surprise us." Killua grunts. His hand is still rubbing on Gon's lower back. The raven haired male can't help to be highly aware of it. It's as if his senses have been spiked. It feels good. His body is getting warm. Being in Killua's embrace, smelling his scent, hearing his voice, Gon can feel the vibrations on his chin whenever Killua talks, It resonates and rumbles deep. He loves it all.

"How about some wine? White wine?" Kurapika requests. Gon smiles to himself. Kurapika feels more relaxed now that he's shared that moment with Leorio. In the back of Gon's mind he's hoping Kurapika and Leorio will kiss in front of them again. He wants to learn, take notes...he wants to take Killua's breath away when he kisses him for the first time.

"Got it." Leorio winks at Kurapika. "You all think of some drinking games we can play. Start brainstorming while I'm getting the stuff." Leorio leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. Gon is now stuck between Kurapika and Killua. The ex-assassin's hand is still touching his back, barely. Gon wants to touch Killua too. After getting distracted with the fox stealer and the curse he hasn't been able to focus on getting Killua to confess.

Kurapika wants him to end this quickly. So that means...Gon has to push up his game. Starting now.

"I don't really know any drinking games." Kurapika starts, glancing down at his bandaged ankle before looking at Gon.

"I know a couple. Maybe we could play-" Killua had started off with that blank voice of his only to tense, his voice going up at the end when Gon sticks his hand under Killua's shirt, being able to touch his bare back. He feels so warm and nice under his hand. Gon loves how he can make Killua flustered, just from touching him.

"Hm?" Kurapika glances over at Killua confused.

Gon can't stop his playful smile. "Play what?" Gon rubs Killua's lower back, barely touching him, like feathery kisses. Gon takes in with pride the goosebumps that have shown up on Killua's muscular arms.

"...We have a couple of choices. We don't have some of the board games but I've heard of beer pong. That seems like an easy thing we could...fester up." Killua keeps his voice neutral and steady. If Gon couldn't feel how warm Killua's body is he wouldn't think Gon's touch is affecting him.

"What's beer pong?" Gon can't help to ask. "I don't know any drinking games..." Gon pouts. Once again. Killua knows more about something than him. This irritates him and he finds his hand roaming upward, taking Killua's shirt with him, exposing the pale skin of his back. He's still barely touching Killua, feather like touches. He glances up at Killua to see his expression. The ex-assassin isn't looking at him but Gon can see the blush forming on his face. When Killua feels him staring, he looks down at him.

Gon's' stomach twist, his heart doing a strange beat. Killua's eyes are different. Gon has touched Killua before and he would get flustered but this look... It's a knowing look and with that knowledge is a want. Gon can see Killua wants something. More? He wants to be touched more? Killua licks his lips before he answers Gon's question on drinking games though both of the boys don't care about games right in this moment.

"Beer pong is when you have cups filled with alcohol and you take a ping pong ball. If you can throw it in the cup, the other team has to drink it." Killua thinks. "Well we have two teams for it but we'll need to get a table and cups and ping pong balls. I'm sure we can't do that one, now that I think about it."

"Aw that sounded like fun." Gon frowns. He liked the idea of having teams and fighting each other. It sounded like something he would enjoy.

"I'm sure Leorio has a couple of thoughts in mind." Kurapika glances over at the two before looking away. "I'm going to...go to the bathroom." Kurapika gets up and walks into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Now it's just Gon and Killua. That tension is back and stronger than ever.

"Do you like me touching your back Killua?" Gon decides to ask as he rubs his hand up and down Killua's back slowly.

"...Yeah." Killua says, his voice lower.

"I like touching you...Killua." Gon finds it hard to stop himself from expressing his feelings. Killua shivers under his fingers and his eyes light up, Gon caught it, before he hid it away with his bangs. Gon didn't like that. He wants to see his face. "Killua I don't like when you hide your face." Gon decides to dig his nails into Killua's back and rake down. Not to hurt him but to try to get him to show his face.

Gon was not expecting Killua to arch into his touch, a strange sound leaving his lips. Gon's heart is in his throat. That sound had sent his heat straight down to his lower regions.

Killua's face gets redder after he realizes what he just did. He gets up quickly off the bed and away from Gon's hands only for the raven haired male to grab his wrist.

"Did I hurt you?" Gon can't help to ask. That was a surprising reaction. He's not sure what to make of it.

"N-No...I..." Killua pauses before he sits back down next to Gon. He grabs a pillow and puts it on his lap, pressing his elbows into it. "Of course that didn't hurt me. I've had my back pretty much ripped off in a whipping before. That was nothing." Killua huffs to himself, glancing away but he can't make Gon's eyes. He can't hold eye contact.

"Hey Killua..." Gon grabs the other male's chin, directing his head so he's looking at him. His cheeks are such a cute color of pink. Gon can't help to smile, his heart beating slowly in his chest. Killua is so amazing. Everything about him is...wow. He looks so sexy and cute at the same time. The way those eyes slant and shine, how flushed he looks...And Killua is his.

"Stop looking at me like that idiot." Killua grunts trying to get away, his face getting redder.

"I can't help it. I'm just so happy you're not mad at me anymore." Gon closes his eyes in his smile and chuckles. "I was worried about that for a minute there. I like that I can sit here with you again and touch you."

"You're never afraid about speaking your mind are you?" Gon's heart skips a beat when Killua's hand snakes under his shirt. It's not like Killua hasn't touched his back before but something feels different about this. Maybe it's because Killua is going under his shirt? It's hard to explain but Gon likes it. "hey Gon, tell me about this person you like." Killua's voice is like honey right next to his ear.

Gon blinks. "You want to know?" Gon frowns. "I don't want to make you angry-"

"I won't get angry." Killu'as lips turn in a smile. It's small and nice but Gon doesn't understand it. "I promise."

Gon's eyebrows furrow. Why does Killua want to hear about the 'guy' I like? Every time I've mention him before he gets upset...Killua was mean to me today because he was jealous of this 'guy'. Killua's whole aura has changed. What happened to that jealous spark Gon would feel? "Didn't you say not to mention him anymore?"

"I did...but I realized I was being stupid. Really stupid." Killua rolls his eyes, this look of disappointment on his face before he smiles at the other male. "...You were there for me when I talked about the girl I like. So I should be there for you when you talk about the guy you like." Killua's eyes flash with something that could be guilt but it's gone too soon to tell. "...I was a real ass to you Gon. Over nothing. I'm your best friend...you shouldn't have to be limited in anything when talking to me." Killua gives him this smile that gets Gon's heart to flutter. It's so sincere and those eyes of his have gotten softer. If anyone else was looking at the ex-assassin they wouldn't have noticed it. Gon can see the slightest shifts in his best friend.

Something has changed in the ex-assassin. His aura is comfortable and bright and it feels different than before. His smile is inviting, almost eager. Gon can feel himself melt in Killua's hold and those beautiful blue eyes. He finds himself smiling and it's teasing.

"I told you that you were a butt." Gon giggles when Killua blinks. He rolls his eyes, his lips turning in a smirk.

"Hey i'm giving you an opportunity to talk about this guy. If you don't want it then-"

"No. I'll tell you about him Killua. I'm happy you're letting me open up about him. It means a lot." Gon smiles. I know how much you hate it. Killua must really feel bad about going off on me earlier.

Killua's eyes widen slightly and he glances away. He mumbles something under his breath that Gon can't understand. Then he speaks. "Whatever...so tell me about him."

"What do you want to know?" Gon goes back to rubbing Killua's back, his index finger tracing down the bumps of Killua's spine.

"...How long did you know that you loved this guy?" Killua's voice is quiet. He leans into Gon's touch but he won't make eye contact with him.

"Hmm...that's a good question." Gon thinks for a moment. "I didn't find out about me being in love with him in till recently. I guess I just wasn't really thinking about my feelings for him. Some times I wonder when I first started loving him."

"I wonder the same thing too some times...about the girl I mean." Killua turns his head as he grabs at Gon's back, messaging it. His eyes had this look to them only for those blue orbs to shift away after he mentioned the girl. "...Why don't you confess to him Gon?...are you afraid?"

Gon opens his mouth only for his breath to catch when an image of the other Killua's glare flashes through his mind. His stomach turns and he feels ill. He closes his eyes, willing the room to stop spinning. He opens his mouth and he's shocked to hear what comes out. "Do you think of me as a brother Killua?"

Silence.

"...No. I don't think about you as a brother." Killua answers, his hand that had frozen has gone back to rubbing circles into his back. "Don't get me wrong, we're close but I never really thought of you as a brother. All my brothers are ass holes. I would never associate them with you. You've always been my best friend..." Killua flushes at the end.

Gon finds himself relaxing once again in Killua's hold. If Killua doesn't think of him as a brother it's okay. But Gon already knew that. He knows Killua likes- loves him so why is he doubting it?

"Where did that question come from?"

" I don't know." Gon nuzzles his head against Killua's cheek. Loving his scent and his warmth. "I'm not really scared to confess to him. I just..." I want you to confess to me.

"You just what?" Killua presses, leaning closer.

"Okayy, I got the drinks and I got us some games!" Leorio suddenly busts into the room. Killua growls from being interrupted while Gon sighs in relief. This time he's happy about Leorio getting in the way. Gon is tired of lying to Killua. Leorio is carrying a couple of bags. He stops when he takes in Gon and Killua on the bed. He grins. "Ohh look at you two. You look awfully comfortable over there."

"Fuck off." Killua flushes. Gon once again shivering from him saying that word. There's something about the way that Killua says it, it makes Gon feel so...

"Where's Kurapika?" Leorio's grin falls when he looks around, not seeing the blonde.

"Here I am." Kurapika comes out of the bathroom.

"You were in there a long time." Gon can't help to point out. He had forgotten Kurapika was in there with them.

"When you got to go you got to go." Kurapika smiles nervously before he looks at Leorio. "What games did you get?"

"We couldn't really think of anything."Killua's hand has settled on Gon's waist. Not that the raven haired male minds.

"I had a couple of ideas in mind but I borrowed this from a couple down stairs." Leorio smirks as he puts down the bags and takes out a pack of cards from one of them.

" 'never have I ever?'" Kurapika and Killua read the words on the pack of cards at the same time.

"Yup have you guys heard of it before?"

"I think I have but I've never played it." Killua shrugs his shoulders.

Kurapika and Gon look at each other before shaking their heads.

"That's alright. The game is simple. I'll explain it once we get everything prepared." Leorio rubs his hands together as he takes out the bottles from the bags, examining the liquor with this excited look in his eyes.

"The old man is enjoying this too much." Killua grunts.

"I think he wants us all to have fun together and to relax." Gon smiles to himself, watching Leorio as he pours four large classes of Captain Morgan. Leorio has been worrying over Gon's wrist and Kurapika's wounds. He was worrying over the fight Gon and Killua had today. Leorio is a kind and caring man. After everything that's happen today, Gon is sure he just wants them to have fun together.

"I think so too." Kurapika smiles as well, agreeing with Gon.

"I still think he just wants to get shit faced." Killua grunts but Gon knows he doesn't completely mean that.

"Alright everyone get on the floor. Kurapika do you need help-"

"I'm fine." Kurapika huffs slightly as he stands up and walks over on the floor before sitting down. Gon and Killua glance at each other before letting go. Gon can't help to feel cold and disappointed with the lack of Killua's warmth and his touch as they walk over to Kurapika and sit next to him. Gon sits between Kurapika and Killua once again.

"Okay so the rules of the game are simple." Leorio starts to explain as he places a glass in front of everyone before taking his seat next to Kurapika and Killua. The four friends have formed a small circle. Leorio takes out the pack of Cards before shuffling them. He places them face down in the middle. "Each of these cards will have an action on them. It will say, 'never have I ever something.' You have to read the card out loud and if you have done the action you will have to take a drink. The first one drunk, loses. Sound easy enough?"

"That's not really fair to you guys. I'm going to win this with my alcohol tolerance." Killua smirks looking confident.

"I'll have you know I've build up my tolerance over the years as well." Leorio puffs out his chest.

"That's not something to brag about." Kurapika sighs, shaking his head.

"Hmm...I think I get the game." Gon looks down at the large glass of brown liquor. He can smell it from here. It's strong. I don't want to lose...I'll have to hold my nose when I drink it maybe.

"yeah it''ll be fun." Leorio grins at Gon. "I'll go first to show you how it's done." Gon's eyes light up. He always feels better when he can watch something first. He learns that way. Leorio picks up a card. His lips twitch. "Never have I ever had sex." Leorio raises a hand, looking over at Kurapika who raises his, his cheeks flushed. Gon raises his hand and everyone looks at him in shock.

"Gon' you've had sex?!" Killua's eyes widen.

"Huh? No! It said never have I ever had sex and I haven't!"

"No, no you raise your hand if you have had sex. You have to admit to It and take a drink if you've done what the card is saying." Leorio explains, sighing in relief, along with Killua at Gon's explanation.

"Oh so because you and Kurapika have had sex you guys have to take a drink!" Gon's eyes light up and he grins over at the two older males that look like their faces have turn into tomatoes.

"yes, yes." Leorio chuckles when he gets a look from Kurapika.

"Of all the games..." Kurapika mumbles before he grabs his drink and takes a chug of it. Leorio doing the same. Gon notices Leorio drank more than Kurapika.

"Okay now I think I got it." Gon smiles, having more fun with this now that he understands it. He smiles over at Killua when he feels someone staring at him. Killua has a strange look on his face, those eyes deep before he blinks. He smirks.

"You're going to be the first one to lose Gon~" Killua teases.

"No i'm not." Gon pouts.

"Yes you are, I bet this first drink is going to get you drunk. You've never been drunk before."

"So?" Gon huffs, his eyebrows furrowing in determination. Now he's pumped. Killua is looking down at him like a kid. So what if he hasn't gotten drunk before? Gon will show him. He won't be the first to lose. Gon was feeling very tired today but now he's wide awake. His body once again on high alert.

"I suppose I'll go next." Kurapika's voice gets Gon to focus over at his blonde friend. Kurapika picks up a card, his eyebrow raising. "Never have I ever fantasized about someone in this room..." Kurapika sighs, raising his hand again, his cheeks tinting. Leorio also raises his hand. There's this tension in the air. Gon feels it as Leorio and Kurapika look over at the younger males.

"What does fantasize mean?" Gon asks. Killua looks red beside him.

"you think about having sex with them." Leorio answers, trying to pull a serious expression.

"Oh!" Gon doesn't think much about it and he puts his hand in the air. I've thought about having sex with Killua and he's in the room!

The ex-assassin hesitates before he puts his hand in the air as well. The tension increases. "Oh Killua who have you thought about in this room?" Gon questions, his eyes lighting up when Killua sputters. He looks so red. It's so cute. Gon's heart is beating so fast...he's thought about having sex with me?

"...uh..."Killua covers his eyes with his bangs for a moment before glancing over at Gon. Those slanted eyes are watching him, analyzing him but shying away from him at the same time. "Who have you thought about in this room Gon?"

"Oh well that's..." Gon's cheeks turn pink. Killua's eyes flash and he grips the ends of his shorts. He glances away from Gon quickly, his bangs covering his face once again. The tension has grown.

"Okay well we all drink since we've all done it." Leorio chuckles awkwardly before he takes a chug of his drink. Kurapika does the same, his cheeks pink. Gon turns his attention on his large drink before he picks it up. His nose wrinkles up from the smell. Come on. Gon closes his eyes and takes a large drink. The liquid burns down his throat and makes his chest feel warm. His face feels a little hot as he puts the drink down. He glances over at Killua just in time to see him put down his drink. He drank almost half of it in one gulp. He doesn't look warm or affected at all.

"Okay my turn." Killua picks up a card. Killua blinks. "Never have I ever shaved my balls?" He glances up. Everyone looks at each other. Gon tilts his head. Are you suppose to shave those?

Leorio slowly raises his hand, everyone looking over at him with wide eyes. Killua's nose wrinkles. "ew?"

"Why did you shave those Leorio? Are you suppose to?"

"Well...you know I met a lot of women in college and some of them liked a well shaved man if you know what I mean." Leorio coughs when Kurapika glares at him. "Okay so I drink." Leorio drinks quickly, trying to get away from Kurapika's pointed stare.

"I did not need to know that." Killua shakes his head. "I have a feeling by the end of this I'll want to blow my brains out."

"My turn!" Gon beams when he realizes that. He grabs a card. "Never have I ever done something I regretted." Gon thinks about this. Has he done something he's regretted? He's made a lot of mistakes in the past but he doesn't' think he regrets them. His choices have made him who he is today. Gon looks up and can see that everyone is looking down, thinking about this.

Kurapika raises his hand. Leorio raises his hand. Killua raises his hand. Seeing that everyone is raising their hands ,and now looking at him, Gon thinks about it more. Is there something I regret? I don't like how I'm lying to Leorio and Killua now...so is that regretting it? Gon decides not the raise his hand.

"I don't think I regret anything." Gon says honestly looking at everyone. "Everything I've done has made me who I am. They may not have been the smartest choices but...I think regretting something that's already done would just be a waste of time." Gon smiles.

"Somehow I figured you weren't going to raise your hand." Killua sounds annoyed but his lips have turned up into a small smile. "that's so like you."

"Looks like the rest of us have to drink then." Leorio glances at Kurapika who's gray eyes have gotten out of focus. When Kurapika looks over at him, Leorio smiles gently. Kurapika returns it before they both drink. Killua drinks and finishes his glass.

"Hey old man I need more."

"You got it." Leorio grabs the bottle he placed next to him and pours Killua some more. He fills his glass and then fills his own that was about to run out. Kurapika's cheeks look flushed. Only a little bit. "My turn again." Leorio picks up the card. He frowns. "Never have I ever peed my pants in public..." Everyone looks at Leorio. "Damn it." He grumbles, his face getting red as he raises his hand. "Okay, okay find I did. Can you blame me?! A little slipped out when I saw the Kraken and...any grown man would!" Leorio defends, his face getting redder and his eyebrow twitching.

"Did you see any of us pissing ourselves when we saw the Kraken?" Killua smirks.

"Does it count if you do it in town?" Gon asks. Everyone looks over at him. Leorio nods. Gon raises his hand, smiling sheepishly.

"You've peed your pants?" Killua blinks.

"Yeah one time when I was five years old I got lost in the woods and I ended up getting chased by a couple of angry birds because I accidentally got into their nest...They kept chasing me and I didn't have time to pee so when I finally ran out of the woods and into town, the birds stopped chasing me but I couldn't hold it anymore and I peed myself."

"What the heck?" Killua chuckles. "At least you peed yourself when you were five and not when you're like 30."

"I'm 21!" Leorio's eye twitches. "i'm not that old- and shut it! I swear to you normal people would have pissed themselves seeing that!" Leorio grumbles before he takes a chug of his drink. Gon takes a deep breath before he takes a chug of his. It burns his throat and his face feels warm. This drink isn't so bad, he's starting to get use to the burning and the smell. He still doesn't like it too much.

"it's okay dear. We'll get you diapers." Kurapika puts a hand on Leorio's shoulder, the older male's face is flushed as he glares at Kurapika. The blonde chuckles before he picks up a card. His expression changes. "Never have I ever felt like killing someone." There's silence between them as that sets in. Kurapika takes a deep breath before he raises his hand. Killua raises his hand, his face blank.

Gon thinks about it. Has he felt like killing someone before? He's been in a lot of fights and he's seen a lot of people who've done bad things. He wants to stop them and hurt them but kill them?...Gon and Leorio don't raise their hands. They don't ask Killua and Kurapika about it either as the two of them take a chug of their drink. Leorio fills up Kurapika's cup and Gon's as Killua draws the next card. Killua's face scrunches up. "Never have I ever been in love with a family member."

Everyone looks at each other. A minute goes by and no one raises their hands. Gon loves Mito but he's not in love with her.

"Thank God." Killua mumbles when no one raises their hands. "That would have been weird."

"Really, really weird." Kurapika smiles slightly, those gray eyes seem a little out of focused.

"My turn." Gon picks up a card. "Never have I ever eaten alligator meat." Gon's eyes brighten. "I haven't' but that sounds like something good to try!"

"Who the hell would eat a-" Leorio starts only for Killua to raise his hand. " Of course."

"You've eaten an alligator before Killua?! Was it good?" Gon smiles at his friend who grins over at him.

"Yup it was pretty good. It taste like chicken. The cooks back at my old home would make it every once in awhile. It was one of my dad's favorite dishes." Killua's eyes shift down to his drink before he takes a chug of it. Not all of Killua's memories from that place were bad. Gon can't help to watch his friend and think...does Killua miss his family? Gon's never really taken the time and even really thought about that. They haven't been at his home since Gon came to get him after the hunter exam. The only time he would call his brother was if he wanted something like when they were trying to get greed island.

Killua doesn't talk much about his family or his past either. Sometimes, when they would stay up late at night, Killua would talk a little bit about it. Gon remembers him telling him about how when ever he would go out to work he would see kids playing and he'd want so badly to join them...He went silent after that. Gon thought he went to sleep but maybe not. Maybe he didn't want to talk about it. Killua has always been guarding when it comes to what happen in his past.

Gon once again can't help wondering how life was like for Killua in that too large of a mansion. He likes to sometimes picture a young Killua, learning how to skateboard but he knows his life wasn't like that. Gon knows they did horrible things to Killua. He knows that much. Even though Gon knows Killua went though pain in his childhood he still can't help to wonder if he misses his home.

Gon wants to ask but Leorio is already drawing his card, and Killua's eyes have gone back to normal. He looks like he's having fun. Gon will ask him later.

"Never have I ever broken a bone." Leorio reads before looking up. Gon immediately raises his hand. Killua raises his hand and Kurapika. Leorio raises his hand.

"What have you broken?" Kurapika leans over and grabs Leorio's hand, rubbing it.

"I broke my finger when I was a younger-"

"Ohhh. Did Leorio break his little finger?"

"Shut up Killua! That just shows I'm a good fighter since I haven't gotten any of my bones broken so ha!"

"No that just shows you haven't been in enough fights to get your bones broken."

"that's okay Leorio. Broken bones aren't fun." Kurapika takes his chug of his drink before putting a finger against Leorio's lips when he looked like he was about to go off on Killua. "Shhh."

"I think someone is feeling it." Leorio chuckles at the blonde before taking his chug. His face isn't as red as the blonde's.

"I'm not feeling it at all." Kurapika's eyebrows furrow stubbornly.

Gon takes another drink of his. It burns his throat a little more this time and his head feels kind of fuzzy. It's not bad. He feels warm and his face hot. How much has he drank? Leorio is filling up his cup now, this is his third class. Gon looks over at Killua. The boy isn't even flushed. He looks like he hasn't had anything to drink at all. This makes Gon's chest get hot. He needs to hold off better! So far it looks like Kurapika is losing but he has to be careful or he could be the fist one to lose just as Killua said.

"My turn to draw the card." Kurapika chuckles as he takes one of the cards. "Never have I ever cross- dressed." Kurapika sighs, raising his hand. "I've done it a couple of times...for missions of course..."

"What's cross dress?" Gon looks at everyone when he sees Kurapika is the only one raising his hand.

"It's when a man dresses like a female or a female dresses like a man." Leorio explains.

"oh." Gon looks down thinking for a moment. "I don't think I have."

"So it looks like I'm the only one." Kurapika takes a chug of his drink, those gray eyes dance a bit. "You know it's not so bad? Gon you should try it." Kurapika licks his lips. "I think would look good in a big puffy green dress. " Kurapika looks over at Killua who has his mouth slightly open. "Don't you think so Killua?"

"W-What? No- I mean it would look- uh..." Killua flushes.

"Really? You think I would look good in a dress?' Gon looks down at himself, trying to picture it. Every time he thinks of it, he can't help to smile. I'd probably look silly with my boyish hair. Maybe if I wore a wig..? Gon pictures himself with long black curly hair and the dress and nods. "I think I might look good In a green dress too!"

"What?" Killua looks over at him.

"You should let me...dress you up." Kurapika smiles, putting his hands together.

"Okay!" Gon smiles.

"Uh no?" Killua grabs Gon's hand, getting the raven haired male to look over at him. Killua's face is really red but there's this look in his eyes. His aura isn't as relaxed. "that's just weird. Anyway he doesn't know what he's talking about. He's drunk."

"So you don't think I'd look good in a dress?" Gon pouts. Killua sputters.

"It's n-not that you wouldn't look good! I mean...damn it" Killua stutters when Gon's eyes get brighter and he leans forward.

"Kurapika I want you to dress me up!"

"Yay!" Kurapika cheers, his smile is lopsided.

"He's not going to want to when he's sober." Killua mumbles, still looking flustered.

"I don't know." Leorio chuckles when Killua gives him a look. "I've never seen Kurapika drunk before. It's funny."

"I'm not drunk." Kurapika glares over at Leorio.

"mmhmm okay."

"Let's see here." Killua grabs a card. "Never have I ever puked on an amusement ride." As soon as he finishes reading this he smirks at Leorio.

"Hey I didn't puke on the amusement ride, I puked after thank you very much." Leorio grumbles. "So it doesn't count."

"ohhh yes it does. Chug it down." Killua points at Leorio's drink that's half way empty. How many classes has Leorio had? Gon has to think for a minute...four? Maybe five? How many has he had? Leorio keeps filling up the glasses every time they get low. Gon hasn't really bed paying attention.

"Ugh alright. So what? I'm the only one who's puked from an amusement park ride?" Leorio looks around. When no one raises their hand he grumbles and chugs the rest of his drink down. His cheeks have a noticeable flush to them now.

"My turn again." Gon smiles as he picks up a card. I'm doing good! I didn't have to drink last time so if this keeps up I might be able to out last Leorio! Gon frowns when he gets his card. "...Never have I ever cried myself to sleep." Everyone gets quiet again. As soon as Gon read the card he couldn't help to think of that night a long time ago. Alone in the forest, his face bruised and his body useless. He was barely able to crawl into a tree for shelter, his pants wet from him peeing himself because he couldn't control it. He had to lay there in his urine, with his face stinging and bruised and all he could think about was Hisoka's smirk and the number 44 that was 'given' to him. Gon had never felt so defeated, so weak.

He cried that night. He cried himself right to sleep. He hated it so much.

Gon raises his hand and sees if anyone else is. Kurapika, Leorio, and Killua are raising their hands. Gon can't help to feel relieved. Everyone has done it before. Everyone has had that moment. Gon can see Killua looking at him with a questioning look. That's right...I've never told him about what happen in those woods during the hunter exam. Even now Gon's a little ashamed to admit it. But he payed his dues. He punched Hisoka in the face and gave his number back.

Gon returns the questioning look. When has Killua cried himself to sleep and why? Was it back at his home? Was it before I knew him? Or after?

"I uh...after my friend died a long time ago, the third night was really hard. I couldn't deny it anymore. It finally hit that he was gone and I cried all night. I was young and I begged, and begged for it not to be true. I don't know who I was begging to. After all those tears I woke up feeling drained and my friend still wasn't there." Leorio speaks quietly before he takes a long drink. He almost drinks all of it in the glass. Those brown eyes getting glossy.

Kurapika stares down in his glass, being silent before he takes a chug. He leans over and wraps his arms around Leorio. Whispering something in his ear. Leorio closes his eyes and leans his head on Kurapika, as if he's his crutch. His support in this time.

Killua is still looking over at him. It's not like Killua will think any less of him after all these years right? I mean he knows that Hisoka gave me the badge...but he doesn't know how I reacted to it or the fact I was paralyzed and I cried and I peed myself...

Gon decides to take a chug of his drink. He feels so warm. His face is what's really warm. His brain feels fuzzy. It's not a bad feeling. It's kind of nice. He still wishes the alcohol wasn't so harsh on his nose though.

Gon doesn't ask Killua about what he cried about and Killua doesn't ask him. The raven haired male has a feeling that Killua wouldn't tell him if he asked and he doesn't want to bring up painful memories. If Killua wanted to tell him, he would have told him. That's how Gon sees it. He'll have to quell his curiosity and concern.

Gon finds himself leaning over and wrapping his arms around Killua, hugging him close. He doesn't like knowing Killua has cried himself to sleep. It's a horrible feeling. Killua tenses only to melt into his hold, wrapping his arms around him.

"It will be okay Killua." Gon finds himself mumbling. His speech is slurred and his brain his buzzing but he pays no mind to it. "You'll stay with me and I'll make you happy. I just want Killua to be happy." Gon sighs, melting into his friend's embrace.

"...I am happy." Killua whispers in Gon's ear, his breath tickling his sensitive flesh. Gon's heart skips a beat, and he gasps. He spark of emotions he just felt...like Killua just shocked him. But it was good, it was grand. Killua said it so shyly and quietly like he didn't want anyone to hear. "I'm always happy...when I'm with you." This is said even quieter.

"that's great!" Gon squeals in delight, his chest tightening and burning, and Killua's warm body feels so good against his. He pulls away to give Killua a huge smile, knowing all these feelings are showing in his amber eyes but he can't contain it. "that makes me so happy Killua, you don't even know! That's all I want is for you to be happy and you say you're happy with me. I'm my happiest with you too Killua! I could live without clothes, money and fishing. But I couldn't live without Killua!" Gon grabs Killua's hands. The ex-assassin is staring at him with wide eyes, his cheeks pink, those blue eyes of his glisten, so bright like the sky. "As long as I have Killua, then I don't need anything else!"

"That's just the alcohol talking. Do you really think you could live a life without any clothes or money? Or doing something you love like fishing?" Killua glances away only for Gon to grab his face, making sure he's looking at him.

"I could always hunt to get food and clothes aren't that important. I'd be sad if I couldn't fish but I could live my life without doing it. I don't think I could live a life without Killua." Gon smiles at Killua, it's lopsided but he can't help it. The way Killua looks right now, with his eyes glistening, his face lighting up...it's perfect. Killua's eyes look a bit watery before he covers his face with his bangs. He can't hide the smile on his face though. His breathing is a bit jagged as he takes Gon's arms from off of him.

"You are...something else." Killua wipes at his face. "being drunk makes you even more blunt if that's even possible!" Killua chuckles and it's so light. "But you have it all wrong Gon, as you always do." Killua chugs down the rest of his drink. There's a tinge of pink on his cheeks. "It's me who couldn't..." Killua swallows, he grips at his shorts.

"It's obvious that Kurapika is drunk and so is Gon." Leorio speaks up when Kurapika lets go of Leorio to grab a card and make it wave around him. Gon has to admit that Kurapika is acting strange but Gon is perfectly fine!

"I'm not drunk!" Gon glares at Leorio. "I'm fine!"

"Dude you're drunk." Killua shakes his head, showing his face, a smirk on his lips.

"Noooo." Gon puts his hands on his hips and gets in Killua's face. "You're just trying to win Killua!"

"I've already won." Killua chuckles when Gon's face scrunches up.

"nuh huh."

"yeah huh."

"I'm not even bad!" Gon whines, laying down on the floor on his stomach. "Kurapika's drunk but not me!"

"I object!" Kurapika points his finger in the air, glaring at Gon before his lips turn in a lopsided smile and he chuckles to himself.

"Oh yeah? Then stand up Gon." Leorio crosses his arms. "We aren't going to let you drink too much. This is your first time getting drunk and we don't want to go over board."

"For once I agree with the old man." Killua gives Gon a look.

"stand up?" Gon gets up off the floor and stands up. He blinks when the floor starts to move. He stumbles around for a bit, his eyebrows furrowed. What's wrong with me? He feels nice and his brain feels fuzzy. He takes a step forward, only to stumble to the side.

"You're fucked up." Killua chuckles at Gon as he tries to walk.

"What's wrong with the floor! Guys, the floor is moving!" Gon shouts in amazement. Killua is cracking up over on the side as Gon stumbles and falls on his butt with an 'oof'

"Okay yeah you two are out. It's just you and me Killua." Leorio smirks over at the ex-assassin who still isn't looking affected. Leorio's eye twitches. "How the hell are you still okay?"

"I told you. It doesn't effect me. I've been trained to have a high tolerance for it." Killua smirks. "you won't win."

"Aww but I wanted to keep playing." Gon whines. He blinks when Kurapika wraps his arms around him, nuzzling his head.

"It's okay. You're still a winner in my book." Kurapika runs his hands through Gon's hair. The touch isn't uncomfortable but Gon's not use to Kurapika being so touchy feely.

"Yeah but I wanted to beat Killua." Gon pouts, letting the other male hug him.

"You can't always win Gon." Kurapika pats him on the head. "you got to lose some times and by losing you win! You got to lose to Killua, Gon. You should tell him..." Kurapika smiles strangely before moving in to whisper in his ear. "How much you love him." Kurapika giggles when Gon's face gets red.

"Hey! Control your boyfriend." Killua growls when he looks over and sees Kurapika all over Gon. Those blue eyes of his narrow, that jealous spark making Gon's stomach twist in excitement. The way those eyes look and that tone...it gets Gon hot in another way. "Gon get over here."

"Ne..." Gon wiggles out of Kurapika's hold and crawls over to Killua. He smiles happily when Killua puts an arm around his waist and pulls him close.

"You're going to stay right here and watch me beat this guy." Killua smiles smugly over at Leorio who is glaring.

"I'm not going to be out drank by a kid." Leorio grunts as he pulls out a card.

"Go Killua!" Gon starts to cheer for his friend. He didn't hear the question but Killua had to drink. Killua is amazing, he's drank so much but he still seems to be fine. "I'm going to..." Gon hiccups. "...build up my tolerance too! So I can be a match for Killua!-"

"Don't be like me. There's nothing good about my high tolerance. I bet you my liver is shot. So don't try to be like me. Besides I like seeing you this way. It's cute." Killua started off scolding him only for his expression to change into a playful one at the end. Gon flushes, his lips turning in a smile as he leans in and kisses Killua's check. He had just wanted to. So he did it. Everything is so fuzzy. He doesn't feel any pain from his wrist, there's no ringing in his ears. It's just amazing.

"Um Gon?" Killua bites his lip as Gon keeps kissing his face, moving closer to get on his lap. "...You're uh, getting a little close there-"

"Damn it...I lost. I know I did." Leorio mumbles throwing the card down. "You're a fiend. An alcoholic fiend!"

"yay go Gon!" Kurapika suddenly starts to clap getting everyone to glance at him. Gon stops his kissing to give Killua a lopsided smile.

"I really like being in your lap. It's comfortable. This is my seat." Gon turns around and sits in Killua's lap like a chair. He wiggles around, grinning over at Leorio. "Mine. My seat."

"no one wants that seat anyway." Leorio grunts, his cheeks flushed. "My seat is over there." He points over at Kurapika who is crawling on the floor, wiggling around like a worm.

"I am not a chair." Kurapika looks over at Leorio, offended.

"G-Gon don't wiggle." Killua's voice sounds strained. He's gripping into the carpet. Gon looks back at Killua. His blush has reached his ears, those blue eyes getting half lidded. Gon's heart beats slowly in his chest. He wants to see Killua's face get even redder...

"You just want to fuck me don't you?" A voice breaks though Gon's fuzzy brain, causing him to tense.

No...no I want to make love to Killua. I want to make him feel good because...I love making him happy...

Gon frowns...his stomach twisting. Just when Gon feels like he's going to start crying or puking there's a knock at their hotel door.

"that's probably the food." Killua sighs in relief as he gently gets Gon off of him. The other male letting him do that. Gon sits on the floor and watches Killua walk away like a puppy who just got abandoned off at some street. He feels all cold now. He wants Killua to be back next to him. He wants to sit on him again.

"I'm leaving you."

Gon shakes his head, a sharp pain causing him to cringe. The floor is starting to move more and he feels disoriented with just sitting here. Gon can only watch as Killua walks away from him, as if in slow motion. All he can see is Killua's back...

Then there's nothing but darkness and Killua walking away. Killua is leaving him.

"I don't want you."

"That's not true." Gon mumbles to himself, shaking his head. Killua likes me...he does...It's just the curse. Don't let it win...

"Finally you guys got here. It's been like an hour." Killua opens the door, glaring at the man who is holding a bag of food. "You said it would take 45 minutes." Killua's voice gets low. The man tenses, shifting from foot to foot.

"Well you know...there was traffic and things happen."

"The food better not be cold." Killua snatches the bag. He feels the food before he narrows his eyes at the guy. "Okay, the food is warm. But i'm still not happy about the time or the service. I think I should get some of these for free."

"Killuwwa." Gon gets up and stumbles after the other male, feeling lost without him by his side. It's only been a couple of minutes but to Gon's fuzzy and disoriented mind it feels like hours. Gon falls to his knees, crawling the rest of the way to his friend before hugging him on his waist.

"Wa! Gon!" Killua tenses from Gon's interaction with him, his dark expression leaving him and his face flushing. "What are you doing idiot? I'm trying to pay for our food!"

"You were gone for so long!" Gon hugs him tighter. "Don't leave."

"What? I'm not leaving i'm just-" Killua looks down at the other male only to stop when he sees the tears at the corner of his eyes. His whole expression falls. "shit. Uh okay. It's okay. I'm not leaving. I'm just getting the food alright?" Killua's voice gets more gentle and soothing. Gon nods slowly, taking in his words.

The delivery guy looks at Gon with his eyebrow raised. Killua growls at him, getting the man to look away quickly.

"I'll just pay the fucking bill to get you out of my face. And don't you look at him like that."

"Hey man I'm cool with whatever you're doing I'm just trying to get my money." The man stops talking when he sees something behind him. He looks away quickly. "...I don't get paid enough for this job."

Killua sets down the bag on the floor, Gon not letting go of his waist so it's hard to bend. "here." He pulls out some money from his pocket and hands it to this man. He doesn't count It. He just leaves.

"Worse place ever." Killua grunts before he turns his attention back on the male who is hanging on him. Gon smiles up at him, feeling happier that he is holding his best friend in his arms. He cant' get away from him like this. Killua reaches down and wipes away the little wetness to his eyes. "you're just feeling confused from the alcohol. You don't have to worry. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm a lair."

Gon ignores the voice in his head and nods. Smiling up at the other male. It doesn't matter what he's saying anyway. All Gon can process is that he's holding Killua. He's not leaving.

"You're going to have to let go of me now so I can get the food ready okay?" Killua gently pries Gon off of him. The raven haired male lets him, flopping down on his butt. He watches Killua move away from him before getting the bag of food. Killua glances up only for his face to get pale and to scrunch up.

"What the hell?! I told you not to do this!"

Gon looks over only to see Kurapika on top of Leorio, the two adults kissing deeply, Silvia spilling down Kurapika's chin. The brunette is pinned down beneath the Kurta and their kissing is intense. Gon finds himself moving closer to watch. This is how I want to kiss with Killua...I want this...I want to make Killua feel good...

"Alright i'm not going to have you guys doing this in our room." Killua gets in front of Gon, successfully cutting him off and getting the two males attention. "Leave." Killua points to the front door. "Take your food and get out."

"We're older than you! You can't tell us what to do!" Leorio slurs.

"No...no we should go Leorio." Kurapika kisses the older male's cheek which seems to calm him down. Leorio stands up and he's pretty steady. Kurapika needs his support. Gon watches with a blank face as Killua helps them grab their food and helps them out the door.

"They were this close to going at it." Killua shakes his head in disgust as he shuts the door and locks it.

"That kiss looked really good." Gon thinks to himself as Killua puts their foods on plates before sitting down in front of him, placing the plates on the floor. "mmm Killua..." Gon finds himself staring at those lips of his best friend. His body has been feeling hot for some time now. "Can I try it with you Killua?"

"W-What?" Killua flushes, dropping the sub that he was about to take a bite out of. Those blue eyes shift away from him and he swallows dryly. "You don't know what you're saying Gon."

"yes I do. I want to make Killua all red and kiss him like that..."Gon's brain is so fuzzy. All he can concentrate on right now is Killua in front of him.

"G-Gon..." Killua's eyes get half lidded before his eyes light in realization. He bites his lip hard and looks way. "You're drunk Gon. I can't...not when you're drunk...that would be..." Killua trails off. His face is pretty red though. "Eat your food. You haven't eaten anything. I think that's also why the alcohol messed you up so bad. You don't' have anything in your system. This greasy food will mellow you out."

"I'm not hungry." Gon pouts, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Don't give me that. You have to be. Here." Killua grabs the sub with bacon and pushes it towards Gon's mouth. He turns his head away from it. He's really not hungry. He just wants to kiss Killua...just like that.

"You couldn't satisfy me."

Gon's eyes brows furrow. "That sounds like a challenge."

"What?" Killua raises his eyebrow only for his eyes to widen when Gon grabs his arm and pulls him closer.

"Can I Killua? Can I please?" Gon loosens his grip when he thinks he might have hurt Killua. His heart is beating so fast.

"No, Gon we can't!" Killua won't look at Gon, he's biting his lip so hard.

"Why not?...Do you not like me?" Gon's eyes get watery, his wrist feels like it's on fire and he can hear a distant laughing.

"N-No! That's not it! I like you Gon! I..." Killua looks over at him with wide eyes only for him to look down, a soft blush on his cheeks. "I want to kiss you too. More than anything right now. It's hard for me...to hold myself back. But I don't want our first kiss to be something you won't remember when you wake up in the morning!" Killua picks at his shorts. "So I promise...tomorrow we'll kiss okay? I just...I don't want you to forget and I don't trust myself right now. If I were to kiss you..." He trails off, swallowing hard.

"You promise we'll kiss? Wait so you do want to kiss me? Killua likes me!" Gon cheers, his emotions lighting up. The laughter and pain fades away.

"...Yeah. Like I said you won't remember this so...I'll have to confess properly. Just calm down for right now okay? Eat your sandwich." Killua pushes the plate over towards him before taking a bite out of his cheeseburger.

"I can't! Killua you want to kiss me...I can't wait! I can't wait!"

"...me either." Killua takes a large bite out of his sandwich, closing his eyes tightly.

Gon watches him eat for a moment, his eyes shining. He reaches over to touch Killua only for the ex-assassin to flinch away.

"Not now..." He breathes heavily. "If you don't eat your sub...I won't kiss you tomorrow." Killua says this with a deep blush but his expression is firm.

Gon frowns deeply. He glares slightly at the sub before picking it up and starting to eat it. It goes down rough. His stomach rumbles as he eats the sub. His mind is so fuzzy and all his thoughts are jumbled. All he can think of is kissing Killua and tomorrow and...

Ugh I feel kind of sick...Gon eats about a quarter of the sub before placing it down, his stomach growling at him in anger.

"You don't like it?" Killua has already eaten most of his cheeseburger. He frowns when he sees the amount that Gon has ate.

"No...it's good. It taste good."It took a little while for him to form the words to say that. Gon's not sure he likes this anymore. Gon looks away from the sub, hoping it would calm his stomach. The sub really does taste good but it's just not agreeing with his stomach right now. He wasn't hungry to start with...

"You were all excited about this bacon and now you're barely touching it." Killua grunts but there's a hint of concern in those blue eyes. "Here try mine." Killua pushes the cheeseburger close to his face.

Gon shakes his head, which causes everything to go spinning and that sharp pain to come back. "Ah." Gon puts a hand over his mouth right when he starts to gag.

"Shit I knew it." Killua gets up quickly and grabs Gon's arm to help him up. Killua leads him over to the bathroom, Gon stumbling next to him. He wants to say he can walk himself but he knows if he speaks he'll puke everywhere. As soon as they get to the toilet, Gon falls to his knees and pukes into it.

Gon has never puked so much. He puked at the ice cream shop and the restaurant and now here. Gon has found that he hates it. He hates how it burns the back of his throat and it gets in his nose and it smells awful. Gon shakily grips the toilet when he feels Killua's eyes on him. A part of him sinks. He doesn't like Killua having to watch this. It must gross him out and he was just in the middle of eating.

"you make me sick."

"There...let it all out. This happened to me my first time too." Killua's voice is soothing as he rubs Gon's shoulders. The raven haired who had tears welling up in his eyes blinks them away when he hears Killua's real voice and feels his caring touch. Killua puked when he first drank too? That makes Gon feel better. The ex-assassin stays with him till he finishes throwing up the sub he just ate, rubbing his back and saying soothing things. Gon can't understand most of them. "There. Now come on lets wash your mouth out." Killua helps Gon get up and walks him over to the sink.

Gon gratefully rinses his mouth out, his hands shaking as he brings the water up to his face with his hands and sucks it up. He swishes it around before spitting it out. He also grabs some toilet paper and blows his nose. His throat still feels burnt and scratchy.

"The next time we drink your limit is going to be 2 full glasses. You were buzzed then and since it was your first time going beyond that was a mistake."

Gon nods. Killua said something about 2 and buzzed. Gon walks over and grabs Killua's hand. He smiles at him. "Ne Killua is the best." He slurs. "the best, best best..." Gon starts to swing his hand around, giggling.

"Do you think you can eat anymore Gon?" Killua flushes but he lets Gon play with his hands.

His stomach does a jerk. Gon shakes his head quickly, feeling dizzy. He leans into Killua's chest, the other male wrapping his arms around him. He leads him out of the bathroom and places him on the bed.

"Alright. Your stomach is probably really upset from not eating anything today and then drinking so much. You'll be okay in the morning." Killua reassures as Gon keeps a hold of his hands, squeezing them and smiling up at his friend. The ex-assassin has a strange look on his face before he leans closer. "You haven't been keeping anything from me have you? About your health?"

Gon's smile is wiped off his face. His stomach twists and he feels too hot.

"Liar. You're a liar."

"Killua you think I'm a liar." Gon whimpers, letting go of Killua's hands. The ex-assassin quickly grabs his hands again, interlacing their fingers. Killua sits next to Gon, giving him a serious look.

"Gon I don't think you're a liar. You're the most honest person I know...and if you're keeping something from me I know you have your reasons. Just know that you don't have to be mister tough all the time okay?...I know you won't remember this when you wake up...but if you're feeling sick, or weak don't be afraid to tell me. Sure I might tease you but I don't mean it. You always want to keep going when you should be staying down. You've always been like that. I just don't want to see you running yourself into the ground when all you need to do is admit to not feeling well and getting treatment."

Killua rubs soothing circles into Gon's hands. The raven haired male didn't get much out of that. Gon heard that Killua doesn't think he's a liar and that he worries about him and then he got distracted by his blue eyes and the feeling of his hands in his.

"Do you understand Gon?"

He nods slowly ,his heart lifting back up. He smiles as he leans in and hugs Killua tightly. He kisses his cheek and then his nose. Killua flushes and pushes him away, holding him back an arms length. Gon giggles, not offend. Killua looks so cute red. "Killua did I ever tell you how you remind me of a cat?"

"Huh?" Killua looks back at Gon with his eyebrow raised. Gon grins and it's lopsided.

"When you sleep you curl up into a ball and you like to be scratched behind your ears. You can turn your hand into claws and some times when you smile when you do something bad or funny it reminds me of that movie 'Alice in wonderland' and that cat. I think that if you were a real cat you would be the cutest one ever." Gon throws his hands in the air to prove his point.

Killua stares at him with wide eyes before he starts to chuckle, shaking his head. "Alright how about we get you to bed?" Killua stops...that smile that looks like a cat coming to his lips. "But you know Gon..I haven't told anyone this before but..." He looks around before leaning in. "I am a cat."

"Whattttt?" Gon looks at him with wide eyes, his mouth opening. Killua's lips wobble before they steady. "No way! You're lying."

"But I'm not. I was a cat turned into a human. It's been so hard." Killua sighs.

"Do you miss being a cat?" Gon frowns. Killua peeks over at him before busting out laughing. "I don't think being a cat-human is a laughing matter Killua." This only gets him to laugh more.

"Being drunk makes you even more gullible. I'll have to remember to keep a close watch on you." Killua's laughing stops when he thinks about something. He frowns, a scowl on his face. "Yeah someone would definably try to take advantage of you..." He grips his fists.

"I don't' know what's going on anymore." Gon sighs, laying down in bed. He grabs his black locks. "Everything is fuzzy and I feel warm..."

"Yeah it's time to go to bed." Killua seems to snap out of his thoughts. He picks up the food they left on the floor and he wraps it up and sticks it in the small fridge. Gon watches from the bed as Killua takes off his shirt, exposing his pale flesh and those muscles..Gon's stomach jerks and his heart picks up speed. Killua glances over at him, those blue eyes innocent as he starts to work with taking his jeans off, leaving him in nothing but his boxers.

Gon is sure Killua is trying to out sexy him. He won't have that. Gon tries to take off his shirt but he can't even sit up now. He feels tired and wore out. The day finally catching up to him and crippling him. He can only lay there as Killua gets everything ready for bed. He even helps him out of his shirt and pants. Killua is so kind. He's always helping him when he can't do something by himself.

"You'd be nothing without me."

Gon takes a sharp intake of breath and closes his eyes tightly. It hurts. He's starting to feel panicked. Something is crushing on his chest. He can hear the other Killua's laughter, his taunts. You can't do anything. You're nothing. I pity you.

He can't breathe. It feels like he can't breathe. Panic, panic. Then darkness.

"Killua!" Gon calls out in alarm when every thing goes dark.

"I'm right here I just turned off the light." Gon can see Killua gliding over towards him before getting into bed next to him.

Gon needs to do something. Anything. He feels dread and he feels restless but he's too weak to move. He wants to do something without Killua so he can show him he doesn't depend on him entirely. Why should I wait for Killua to make the first move? Something has got to give. He just can't control his emotions right now.

"Killua..." Gon breathes out slowly. His stomach clenching up. "I love you."

Silence. Deep silence. Gon lays there, that panicked feeling crushing his heart. He just said those words out loud. He just admitted to them...he lost...he lost the game.

Killua takes a sharp breath before he holds it. The other boy has curled up into himself, hiding his face with his hands. After a moment he speaks. "G-Gon..." Killua's voice is shaky. Gon wishes he could open his eyes but he's too tired to. "Say that too me...when you're sober tomorrow." Killua wraps his arms around Gon, pushing him into his chest, hugging him so tightly Gon thinks he might just snap. "Hurry up and go to sleep idiot. We're going to have so much fun tomorrow. And then we can do this properly. I don't want to do anything I will regret with you right now. You're drunk...when we kiss...when you confess...I want you to remember it."

Killua starts to run his fingers through Gon's hair luring him to sleep. He wraps his arms around Killua and yawns, the panic going away now that Killua is hugging him. He closes his eyes and smiles in Killua's chest. "mm...Killua is so warm...and muscular...it feels nice."

"Go to sleep." Killua says soothingly but his voice is shaky. His body feels so warm. He almost feels hot. "The sooner you go to sleep the sooner tomorrow will come. I have a lot planned for you Gon."

Gon just nods, Killua's voice and his hands luring him away. The ringing, the fuzziness, everything fades away, leaving him with nothing put darkness and the feeling of Killua's hands as they move through his locks.

---

Breathe in, breathe out. Slow. Steady. Don't tense up. Don't let anything show. Killua has to drill this into his head as he holds Gon in his arms, the other male's breathing has gone steady and his aura has calmed in a way that Killua knows he's asleep. Killua's heart is beating so fast and his palms are sweaty. There's this feeling building in his stomach that spreads to his spine and throughout his body. A jittery feeling. An excitement.

Once Killua knows Gon's asleep and won't wake up, he slowly lets go of Gon. He moves the other male so he's laying on his stomach with his head turned to the side just in case he throws up in his sleep. Killua wiggles his way out of bed, making no sound as he does so. Killua walks over to the window, staring out towards the beach and the moon that's in the night sky. The ex-assassin can feel his lips wobbling into a smile, the jittery feeling spreading and he just can't stop. He can't hide this. He can't act calm. All the training in the world couldn't have prepared him for this.

Even though he was drunk...Gon told him he loves him. He said it with his own lips and Killua heard it with his own ears. Gon wanted to kiss him and the way he was looking at him when he was getting undress...and he said he loves him. He said it. Killua heard it.

Killua covers his mouth to stop himself from screaming out in his joy. This feeling is something he could never explain with words. No amount of chocolate in the world could give him this sensation. Killua could have all the money in the world and it would never compare to this feeling, this emotion. Killua has died and gone to heaven with just those drunken words of love.

Instead of screaming, Killua jumps up and down, punching his fist in the air. Yesyesyesyesyes! It's true! This is proof! Gon really...he really loves...Killua laughs out loud only to cover his mouth quickly, glancing back at Gon. The other male hasn't moved. He's really out. Killua's smile is sweet as he takes in his sleeping friend. The blanket is only covering his waist and below, the tan flesh of his back exposed. His muscles shift every once in a while. Gon's face is so peaceful, such a soft expression on his face that makes Killua's heart beat faster in his chest. Gon is beautiful. He's gorgeous. Even when he's sleeping there's this light around him that is brighter than the sun. He's like a God.

And Gon loves him. Gon wants him. Gon is all his. Killua will never let him go.

Killua takes deep breathes to stop himself from just hopping into bed with Gon and squeezing him to death. He's never felt so happy. Focus. Focus...This is good, this is amazing but I have a lot to do...

Killua's smile falters, his breath hitching and his stomach twisting. The date. It's tomorrow. Tomorrow i'm taking Gon out on the date. Date-as in what couples do-My first date-I'm taking Gon-

Killua's palms get sweaty. You would think that the information that Gon loves him and wants him would make him feel better about the date but if anything it adds more strain on Killua. He wants this date to be good. He wants to let Gon know he loves him too. Killua isn't sure if he'll be able to voice it so this date has to do it for him...and then he can only hope that Gon kisses him first. He wanted to today but he was drunk. I told him I would kiss him...Killua swallows dryly.

Don't get him wrong, Killua is brimming with confidence with knowing his feelings are returned but he's still scared shitless of being honest with Gon. He's been hiding his love for so long...Killua's worried he's not going to express it right or he'll express it too much or he'll scare him away or he'll do something to overbearing or say something that sounds creepy or-

Killua takes a deep breath before he starts having a panic attack. He can do this. He's a Zoldyck. He's an ex-assassin. Gon will love everything that they do tomorrow. It will be a great first date. Gon won't know what hit him. He's going to be amazed and proud at his skills. He'll show Gon how deep his love is.

He will finally be honest with Gon.

Killua makes a confident pose, putting his hands on his hips...he still feels nervous as shit but he'll put on a face. Killua will give it his all tomorrow...He'll show Gon how much he loves him. He will. He'll kiss him. He'll finally do what he's been wanting to do since they were 14. Killua won't let Gon slip through his fingers. He'll let him know that he wants no one but Gon.

"Mm Killua...?" The ex-assassin tenses, he looks over to see Gon's body shifting. Gon pats the side next to him, feeling around. Gon's lips turn in a frown before he opens up his eyes. They're out of focus as they search lazily for Killua only to fall on the ex-assassin. "Come back..." Gon reaches out towards him.

"I'm coming." Killua steadies his shaking hands as he gets into bed with Gon. The other boy wraps his arms around him and tightens his grip. Their chests are pressed together and Gon's forehead is against his own. Killua swallows as he feels Gon's breath on his lips, he can smell the alcohol, Gon's amber eyes are deep and glossy. Killua's sure he's not fully awake right now.

"Don't go anywhere...you stay here." Gon yawns, closing his eyes and nuzzling his head against Killua's. "Rub my head?"

"Aren't you demanding?" Killua can't help to chuckle lightly, his heart doing a joyful skip in his chest as he almost immediately starts to rub Gon's head, enjoying the feeling of Gon's hair and how he sighs in his face.

"Mm cuddle with me." Gon mumbles, Killua's other hand wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. Following his command.

"Yes my prince." Killua teases, nuzzling his forehead against Gon's. His lips turn into another smile. Way too big. Way too sappy. Killua doesn't know why he decided to call him 'my prince' but it made him laugh. It's too fitting. Killua, despite complaining about doing things for Gon, enjoys doing them. Killua wants to spoil Gon rotten. He wants to give him everything that he can. It's not like Killua is being bossed around by Gon, no. Killua has always had a choice and his choice has been to follow Gon and pretty much do everything to help Gon reach his goals.

Nothing has Changed.

Gon was saying he wants to make Killua happy...which made him want to laugh. Because all Killua wants is to make Gon happy. Killua is already beyond happy. He wants to show Gon that he's a partner that can give him all he needs

Killua will show all that Gon has taught him throughout the years. Kindness, and affection. He will make Gon his tomorrow...

The ex-assassin kisses Gon's forehead when the other male has fallen asleep completely once again. I've always been your partner. I've always been by your side but...now my greatest dream is coming true. It's really happening. You're going to be mine...

Tomorrow, I'll show you how much you mean to me. I'll show you...that it has always and will always be you that I want. No one else.

It's always been Gon.

---

"This is amazing." Gon smiles as he stares up at the night sky, the stars twinkle against the blackness, looking like someone threw up a bunch of diamonds and they got stuck up there. A gentle breeze caresses his cheek, the dirt feels cold on his bare feet. "It feels so good to be back here again with you Killua." Gon looks over to see Killua sitting by his side, staring up at the night sky like him. His purple eyes have a shine to them that Gon can't help to think is more beautiful than the stars in the sky.

"Yeah." Killua grins over at him, the wind ruffling his hair. "You should have called Mito and told her we were coming. She threw a fit."

"I wanted to surprise her." Gon sticks out his tongue before he looks back at the sky. "...It's been so long since we've sat here." Gon smiles thinking about the last time they sat on this hill together. "I've missed it."

"I've missed it too." Killua sounds like he's smiling. "It's too bad...that I'll never see it again."

"What are you talking about? Of course you'll see it again! We can always come back here to see it! You're going to be with me forever right-" Gon turns to look over at Killua only for his stomach to jerk. The ex-assassin is no longer by his side. The space by him is empty. "Killua?" Gon stands up, looking towards the forest, looking around for Killua. A panic starts to build up in his chest when he doesn't see his friend anywhere. But he was just here! He was just-

Gon spots the back of Killua retreat into the forest. Gon doesn't' think twice. He runs after Killua. "Wait Killua! Where are you going? I thought we were going to stay the night out here!" Gon frowns as he runs after Killua, the ex-assassin keeps walking, just barely out of reach.

Killua keeps getting farther and farther away. "Killua why are you walking away from me?" Gon calls out as the forest starts to change. The trees sink into the ground in till there's nothing but darkness around them.

Killua stops walking. Gon stops right behind him, catching his breath. "Killua...what's wrong?" Gon reaches out to touch Killua. The ex-assassin turns around. Gon's stomach sinks and he can't help to flinch. Killua's eyes are a dull blue, no emotion, no life.

"You can run all you want but you'll never be able to catch up to me. You'll never be able to walk on my level." Killua takes a step forward. Gon doesn't back down, even though he can feel his heart sinking at the harsh words.

"I will. Just you see Killua. I'll catch up to you in every way. Then we can walk together." Gon gives his friend a determined look.

Killua laughs harshly. "Never. Never will you be on my level. Don't you get it? This whole time you've been nothing but a nuisance. Extra weight. If I so wish I could kill you right now. You're so weak. You're mind even has weakness." Killua starts to walk around him, those eyes narrowing like a predator circling its prey. "You want to know why you'll never be on my level Gon?"

"Killua doesn't think I'm a nuisance." Gon closes his eyes. There's a part of him screaming at him to get away from this Killua. This isn't the same friend that was sitting with him on the hill looking at the sky and yet... "I know I'm weak. That's why I keep training so I can get stronger. I've improved a lot but I know there's more learning that I need to do." Gon watches as Killua walks around him. He doesn't let any hurt show on his face, only his fire, his determination. "why do you think I can't be on your level...other Killua." Gon adds the last part with a grin. He wont' let him get the best of him. He can fight this curse.

"Other? There is no other Gon. There's only me." Killua chuckles darkly. "The answer is obvious. These hands." Killua holds out his hands, both of them turning into claws, a large deranged smile coming to his lips. "Are stained with blood. My body is covered in scars. My insides are damaged. I've been raised to be a monster. To achieve my level, you would have to experience what I have. And even then you probably wouldn't be at my level. You're so weak and frail. You couldn't survive the torture I have."

"Killua..." Gon frowns, his heart picking up speed, his blood getting hot when he thinks of Killua's family hurting him. Gon doesn't like the way Killua is talking or that smile on his face. "That's not why you're strong."

"Oh really? Then how have I gotten this strong? How have I become so efficient?" Killua smirks. "Are you afraid of pain? I can show you what it takes." Killua charges towards Gon. The raven haired male jumps out of the way since he's been watching this other Killua closely. As he's in the air he finds that he can't move anymore. He lands on jelly like legs and he falls on his face.

"What?" Gon tries to move but he can't. He grinds his teeth but no matter how hard he tries he can't move.

"Aw what's wrong? Paralyzed again? What are you going to do? Cry and pee your pants?" Killua laughs, walking over slowly, those blue eyes seem to glow in the night.

Gon swallows deeply, his stomach twisting, making him feel sick. Killua doesn't know about that part in the hunter exam...it's just the curse. I can beat this. Gon growls as he tries to move his body. He closes his eyes and wills for his body to move. He can't move an inch.

"You're a waste of a life." Killua coos as his hand turns into a claw. Before Gon can even say something back at this, Gon feels a deep pain in his back. Gon cries out in surprise, his blood spatting on the ground next to him as Killua slashes at his back a couple of times. "Hurts doesn't it?"

"You're not Killua!" Gon growls, his eyebrows furrowing in his rage as the pain burns his back and his blood leaks. He's pissed off that this curse is using Killua to cause damage to him. Killua would never do any of this! "You'll never be Killua! You're just in my head! You can hurt me all you want but you have no power."

"I have no power?' Killua hums as he stomps on Gon's hand, shattering the bone there. Gon bites his lip. He will not cry out anymore. It hurts but he won't give the curse any satisfaction.

"None! Killua cares a lot about me. I might not be on his level yet but I will be! I'm going to start by showing him that I'll be a good lover." Gon takes a deep breath. "Like I said, you're wasting your time. You can keep hurting me but it's not going to change my opinion on Killua. You're only causing me physical damage. You have no power."

"You? A good lover? Ha!" Killua crackles as he steps off of Gon's hand. He grabs Gon by the neck and lifts him up before he slams him down on his tore up back. The wind is knocked out of Gon, his mouth opening in his pain. "What can you offer me? You don't even know how to have sex. You barely know how to cook and you're a kid. How could you satisfy me?" Killua gets on top of Gon, sitting down on his stomach, his smile sinister. "Look at you. The love of your life is here and you greet me with a pained expression and just lay there like a log. Do you expect me to do all the work? Like I always do for everything? You tell me what you want and I do it. Do you think of me as your slave?"

"No! I don't think of Killua as my slave! I don't tell Killua what to do...and I just wanted him to confess to me. I could do it first! I don't need Killua to confess. I can do it! And I can cook pancakes and other things! I could learn how to cook and I can learn how to become a better lover. I'll learn as I go. I know how to give a Blow job and I've watched and read about kissing! And the only reason I look like this is because you just hurt me and I can't move! And you're not really Killua!" Gon doesn't take a breath, his eyebrows furrowing.

"It's these lips you want to kiss?" Killua puts a finger to his lips, his eyes becoming half lidded, a look Gon has never seen on Killua's face before, seductive. Gon swallows, his body feeling warm. He closes his eyes and looks away, a feeling of shame coming to him for his body reacting to the curse. This isn't Killua. Not at all. "What's wrong?" Killua grabs Gon's jaw painfully and yanks his head back. Gon's eyes open. He tries to close them but he can't. He's stuck. "Don't you want to kiss me?" Killua breathes in his face, his cheeks flushed and those eyes dark and hungry.

"N-No I don't." Gon takes a deep breath, willing his body not to react to this. Not Killua. Not Killua. "You're not the real Killua!"

"Are you going to make me do everything Gon? You're such a disappointment. You want me to do all the work. You're a piece of shit." Killua chuckles darkly as he grabs Gon's face, his nails digging into his flesh. Gon keeps his mouth closed when Killua leans closer. "Now, now. You're just making it even harder for me aren't you?" Killua grabs Gon's bottom lip and yanks. Without nen or any way to defend himself, Killua is able to rip open his mouth.

Gon's eyes widen when Killua leans in, shoving his tongue down his throat. His tongue feels like a snake's. Long. Gon tries to bite down on it or shove him off or anything! But he can't move. Gon feels guilt and a shame when his body gets warm. Why am I reacting? Stop this! Get him off!

"You'll never be able to do it." Killua grins as he pulls back only to bite Gon's lower lip. He bites hard, his teeth sinking into his flesh. Gon wants to cry out in pain but he doesn't. "You just shared your first kiss with a fake. How pathetic are you. I feel pretty real don't I?" Killua bites his lower lip again...

Then he yanks, ripping off Gon's lower lip, taking the flesh with him. Gon can't move as he chokes on his own blood, crying out in pain as he watches Killua...eat his lip. It's horrific.

Killua leans close, Gon's blood on his lips, those blue eyes dance madly.

"How was your first kiss Gon?"

---

Gon wakes up with a start, his hand automatically going to his lip, his mouth is open in a silent scream. His heart is beating so fast he can hear it in his ears, his breathing is rapid, in and out. He waits for the pain to hit and for him to feel his blood sliding down his throat but it never comes. Gon's heart rate slows down when he touches his bottom lip and still feels it on his face.

Gon looks around, his breathing becoming steady as he realizes where he is. He's laying in the hotel bed. That was just a dream. Gon looks down at his hand that should be broken but nothing is wrong with it. He moves it around and wiggles his fingers. None of that happened. IT was just a dream...all of it.

Gon sighs in relief. None of that happened. I didn't share my first kiss with a fake...it's okay. Gon frowns and his heart picks up speed again when he looks around the room and notices his friend isn't in it. Gon sits up in bed, his head feels a bit stuffy, and his muscles feel ripped as if he was just hit by a truck. Where is he?...Gon tries to recall last night and when he got into bed but he can't remember. All he remembers is playing that drinking game and then bits and pieces like him hanging on Killua and throwing up.

I got drunk and...did Killua get into bed with me? Gon is about to get up, starting to feel a little worried and disoriented with his lack of memory and the horrible dream he just had only for the hotel door to open.

Gon's whole body relaxes when he hears Killua humming. Even after that horrible dream and experiencing all that pain, it completely fades away in till he's focusing on the here and now. The real Killua is here humming. Killua never hums unless he's really happy...Gon can't help to smile when he sees Killua come around the corner.

Gon's eyes widen, his heart skipping a beat when he takes in his best friend. Killua looks...amazing. His friend has always been fashionable but what the ex-assassin is wearing now is...wow. Killua stands before him wearing tight black jeans that hug his waist in such a way it makes Gon swallow. His shirt is white with a blue sleeveless jacket over it. The blue goes with the color of his eyes right now and the shirt is tight and shows off his arm muscles. Killua's hair also looks different. His white locks are puffy and his hair looks thick. It frames his face and makes his eyes pop. Those blue eyes look more slanted and brighter, and there's a blue bracelet on his wrist. Gon can also tell Killua is wearing cologne. A small amount but just enough that Gon can smell it and feel attracted by it.

Killua looks...really handsome.

"Oh so you're awake." Killua, who had his eyes closed in his humming, Opens his eyes and regards Gon with a smirk. "I was about to wake you up so this is perfect timing. How you feeling? Head hurting you?" Killua walks over, Gon just now realizing he's carrying a tray of food.

"Not really, it just feels stuffy." Gon blinks owlishly, knowing he's staring at his best friend. He frowns. "What happened last night? I don't really remember much...what happen to Leorio and Kurapika?"

"Of course. I knew you would forget. You had a lot to drink." Killua has this knowing look as he sits down on the bed, placing the tray down. "I sent Kurapika and Leorio to their room. They were trying to get freaky." Killua gags.

"oh...I do remember throwing up." Gon frowns, his stomach rumbling from the smell of whatever Killua has brought. There's a cover over the food.

"Yeah you had too much. two classes is your limit for the next time you drink. Which shouldn't be for a while." Killua grabs a cloth that was on the tray before spreading It out on the blanket over Gon's lap. It's white. Gon blinks in confusion only for Killua to look at him with a grin on his lips. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah. I'm really hungry!" Gon smiles, feeling excited. This is the real Killua. This is who he loves. Nothing that other Killua says or does matters.

"Good then you're going to love this." Killua winks as he puts the tray on Gon's lap before taking off the cover. Gon's eyes widen when he sees the large display of food. Not just any food either. There's blueberry pancakes- his favorite kind of pancake, sausage, bacon, french toast, waffles, but what has really gotten Gon's mouth to water and his heart to skip a beat is the macaroon that's to the side. It's green with blue filling. Once he saw that macaroon he knew... "Killua...You made all of this?" Gon looks at his friend in amazement. That macaroon gave it away. When Gon and Killua were staying at his house, Mito taught them how to make these. Gon has always loved them even though he's not the biggest fan on sweets. He grew up on them. It was nice to actually make them and it was fun doing it with Killua, but honestly Gon's forgotten how to make them since then.

Killua remembered.

"Yup. All of it. They have a kitchen downstairs and I just went to town." Killua smiles, his fingers playing with his jeans. There's a soft blush on his face when Gon keeps staring at him with those wide amber eyes filled with admiration.

"you even remembered how to make macaroons! And this one looks really good!" Gon smiles brightly. "I didn't know you knew how to cook like this! You made me pancakes one time but...wow. Killua's amazing!"

"Eh. It was nothing." Killua shrugs his shoulders, trying to look indifferent but his lips are wobbling up in a smile. He glances away. "How could I forget the macaroons? Mito was on us the whole time making it but...it was fun making them with you."

"It was!" Gon smiles as he grabs his fork. "We should do it again sometime. And maybe you could reteach me." Gon sticks out his tongue when Killua looks over at him. "I forgot."

"I can't say much." Killua chuckles. "I had to look up some of the stuff." Killua takes a deep breath as he turns to face Gon, his legs Indian style on the bed as he grabs a fork of his own. "Let's eat this and then we can start our day. I have a lot of things planned."

"You do?" Gon blinks. When Killua gives him a look he tries to recall what today is. He feels like he should know. His eyes light up. "Oh! Today is when you're taking me out!" Gon smiles brightly, an excitement building in him. "I didn't forget about it. After last night it made my head a little foggy." And the dream.

"I figured as much." Killua starts to eat the french toast, but he's mainly watching Gon who is eating at a steady pace. He watches Gon's expressions and seems to be smiling to himself. "It's good?"

"Yeah! Really good!" Gon swallows down his pancakes. " what made you want to cook? You've never cooked breakfast like this before."

"Well you didn't really eat anything yesterday and I knew you would be hungry and you like this so I thought..." Killua flushes as Gon stares at him as he explains. He looks away and closes his eyes, shrugging his shoulders. "I thought why not? It's not a big deal."

"You did this for me?" Gon's heart flutters and he can't help to giggle at how red Killua is getting. That's so cute and sweet. As soon as he realizes this, Gon's smile falls slightly and his eyebrows furrow. Killua is doing things for me and he looks really good right now...He's really trying and i'm just sitting here in my dirty clothes. I need to look really good too. I need to put up my game. I need to do something sweet for Killua.

Gon can still hear the other Killua taunting him. I can't let Killua do all the work. Gon grips his fists, his eyes burning with determination. He'll show Killua and he'll show the curse too. He won't just lay there and let Killua kiss him. He'll show Killua how much he means to him. Gon will kiss Killua first.

Gon's stomach twist. He closes his eyes to keep himself from feeling ill when he remembers the other Killua ripping off his lip, the pain, the fear. Gon can't let it get to him. Killua would never bite off his lip. That's not how their first kiss is going to go.

Gon is going to hold Killua in his arms and kiss him deeply, just like in the movies, just like Leorio and Kurapika. That's going to be his first kiss. His first kiss will be beautiful, not horrific.

"Hey you alright? You got pale for a minute there." Gon opens his eyes to see Killua peering at him. His blush is gone. He reaches over and feels his forehead. "Hmm just checking. You don't have a fever."

"No i'm fine. I was just thinking." Gon smiles, his face brightening back up when he sees Killua's blue eyes that are full of care.

"Thinking about what?" Killua eats some more of the food as Gon starts to finish up everything. He really was hungry.

"How beautiful you look." Gon says slyly, glancing up at Killua just to see that cute blush spread over his face.

"You weren't really thinking that." Killua huffs, stuffing food in his mouth.

"You look really good today Killua." Gon licks his lips of syrup, his tongue wants something sweeter. Gon has been feeling warm ever since he's saw Killua. He just wants to be close to him, to touch him. Gon wants to start being more forward. It's time to end this game and for him to prove himself. "I really like your outfit and your eyes are popping out today and you're wearing cologne. It smells good."

"Thanks..." Killua's blush spreads but his eyes have lighten up. He can't hide that. Killua starts to fiddle with his jeans again. He seems kind of anxious.

"After I finish all this delicious food I'm going to take a shower and get ready. I can't wait to see what you have planned Killua. I bet it's all going to be fun!" Gon smiles. "It's been a little bit since it's just been me and you doing something. It'll be nice." Gon eats his half of the food, Killua has already finished his. Gon smiles as he looks at the macaroon.

"Yeah it's going to be cool." Killua says calmly but his eyes have lighten up in a way that Gon knows he's happy with what he said and he's excited. He still seems anxious though. He keeps grabbing at his pants and jacket.

"Let's share the macaroon." Gon grabs the small dessert and breaks it apart with his fingers. He lifts one half of it and holds it out towards Killua's mouth. "Say ahhh." Gon smiles at his friend and he can't help for his heart to once again flutter as Killua does just that. Gon is hyper aware of Killua's lips as they brush against his fingers as Killua eats the macaroon out of his hand.

"mmm I did a good job." Killua smirks, licking his lips. He grabs the other half of the macaroon and holds it out towards Gon, returning the gesture. "Say ahh." He teases. Gon gladly does so. Instead of just taking it cautiously like Killua did, Gon takes the macaroon with Killua's fingers into his mouth. He remembers the feelings he got from sucking on Killua's fingers and how it had made Killua react to him. Gon glances up at Killua as he takes the macaroon out of his hand with his tongue, sucking and licking his two fingers along the way.

Killua stares at him with wide eyes, those blue orbs turning in that emotion he's seen before. It's stronger now. Gon pulls away and savors the flavor that is this macaroon. "That was really good." Gon sighs happily, leaning back and rubbing his belly that feels like it could explode. From not eating anything yesterday to eating all of this has made his stomach feel smaller than it usually is.

"I'm glad you liked it." Killua takes the tray off of Gon's lap and takes the clothe off. He throws it on the tray before he leans over, getting close to Gon's face. Gon swallows, feeling both heat and anticipation as Killua's face gets closer to his. Killua is nothing like the man in his dream. His movements are sweet and cautious. Even now, Killua seems restless and nervous but there's this look in his eyes that Gon has caused from licking his fingers. "You got something right here..." Killua leans in and licks the corner of Gon's mouth.

Gon closes his eyes, holding himself back from hugging Killua and kissing him. Not now. Not when Gon is like this, smelly and not dressed up. He wants to be on Killua's level. He's going to look good too. He's going to do sweet things. And then, when the moment is right, Gon will kiss him.

When Killua starts to pull away, those eyes still dark from that emotion, Gon grabs a hold of him. He smiles. "You got something here." Gon rubs his thumb over Killua's lips. Gon can feel the ex-assassin's breath hitch when Gon moves closer to him. Those blue eyes are wide and eager, his blush reaching his ears. He grips the bed sheets as if bracing for someone to punch him.

Gon stops right before their lips touch. He smiles. "I got it off for you Killua." Gon says this as he wipes his thumb over his lips. He gets out of bed and starts to stretch, grinning to himself when he feels Killua slump on the bed. Gon will keep him on his toes today. If Gon can't win the game he's going to have fun losing it. Gon will show Killua. He will do everything he can today. He wants Killua to be his...

He wants to be able to kiss him and to hold him and to tell him he loves him. He wants to be able to do whatever he wants with Killua without worry. Gon wants to show his love. He wants Killua to know.

"I'm going to take a shower now!" Gon rushes over and grabs the outfit he had picked for his date with Killua but he thinks it's best for him to wear it now to compete with Killua. Gon flashes Killua a smile. The beautiful male who was staring at him with those blue eyes flushes and nods.

Gon can't hide how happy he is and it's making Killua both happy and fidgety. It's really cute. Gon just wants to squeeze him and kiss him and do other things. Gon pushes all his thoughts to the back of his mind as he rushes into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He wants to get ready as fast as he can so he can hurry up and enjoy this whole day with Killua.

The curse doesn't bother him. Even though that dream was horrible, the curse lost. Gon is still going to kiss Killua. If anything it strengthen his resolve to make the first move. It was that extra kick that told him this was something he should lose. He's going to kiss Killua senseless and take his breath away...then he'll see Gon is a good partner. That he can satisfy him.

Despite the dream, despite the curse, despite what happened yesterday in the dungeon...Gon feels as happy as he could be. All of that fades away and all he can think about is that Killua is waiting for him. Killua is taking him out. Killua made all the food for him. Killua loves him. Killua is all his.

Gon can't believe he's saying this but he can't wait to lose. He can't wait to lose to Killua and to kiss those lips.

Today, Gon will express his love. Today, Killua will be his.

Today, Gon will have his real first kiss.