Thanks to noro for the review :)
Devil In Her Heart
A graveyard wouldn't be my usual choice of a drinking spot but I'd say that its currently fulfilling all my needs. Its dreary, oppressive, deserted and full of dead people, what more could a girl ask for. Actually if its not too much trouble, I want my life back. Is there a mutant out there who can turn back time, if so please point me in their direction.
I've well and truly hit rock bottom and I don't have the strength to pull myself up or dust myself off, I'm an absolute mess and I couldn't give a flying fuck. So what if I drink the occasional bottle because it prevents me from having an emotional, nervous breakdown. For a few drunken hours I'm able to block out the pain and the drugs, well its just a bit of fun, isn't it?
Its not like I'm harming anyone. I'm not about to pick my life apart and study each section with morbid curiosity until I find out where the blame lies, I think I'm beyond that now. As I sit here on the rickety bench overlooking the tired graves, its as if they're taunting me, calling me out on my naive belief that I could ever have a pleasant life.
I'm so close to shutting down emotionally and giving up completely, I don't want to have to fight my inner demons all alone but what choice do I have; I am alone.
Taking a rather repulsive gulp from the bottle of Vodka I'm clutching in my frigid fingers, I decide that with the alcohol now pounding through my veins it would be the ideal time to confront Wolverine. Struggling to stand in an upright position I cast one more forlorn look at my sombre surroundings. I can't seem to throw off the feeling that I too might be pushing up daisies in a matter of days.
Hell, at least I took the time to get to know the neighbours.
Walking with purpose, although with a slight stagger, wobble and trip every minute or so, I find myself in one piece beside the mansions garage. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to my favourite scrap of shrubbery, why I hear you cry. Well its simple really, this bush has a secret that only I'm aware of. This is where I hide all those perverse little items I own that I really don't want found or sniffed out.
This is where my almost empty bottle is going to live, alongside my extensive quantity of pot and rather pathetic collection of pills that are buried in a tin container.
You never know when you might need a slight pick me up and with that, its on with the show!
Now if I was a Wolverine where would I be? Yes, I'm sure you all have your own suggestions but my muddled brain is telling me to ask that new guy playing a game of pool alone in the Rec room.
Leaning on the door to stop my knees from buckling I struggle to remember his damn name, um...it begins me a 'G' I think or was that an 'R'?
I plaster a seductive smile on my lips and saunter over to him hips swinging, "Hey, you!" I holler waving a hand at him. "Have you seen Wolvie?"
The guy with no name tosses me a smirk and brushes his straggling hair out of his eyes.
"Y'started de party without me again, Chere?" He responds while his eyes drink in my body with astonishment and a hint of satisfaction.
"Oh, stop looking at me like that, Gambler." Yeah, that's his name, you see it was on the tip of my tongue. "Just tell me where he is!" I stamp my foot in anger showing him that I'm deadly serious. Nope, don't you dare mess with the Rogue today, you're likely to get your balls cut off and fed to you for brunch.
"Y'Wolvie be in de Danger room an' its Gambit. Though a pretty fille such as yourself can call me Remy." He answers seductively with a hungry smile and a bow.
I roll my eyes in utter boredom. Does this guy ever stop? He's been chasing everything in a skirt since his arrival. Remy has dated every female in the fucking mansion except me and Storm, even Jubilee went out with him.
"Yeah, yeah, Gambler, maybe later." I give him a flirtatious wink and a shake of my booty and leave him alone with his fucked up and purely misplaced erotic fantasies, that and his hand.
I'm slowly making my way to the lower levels, hugging the walls for support. I mean, come on, why the hell do I keep tripping over my own feet? Its either that or I'm falling over air.
Fucking hell I need more to drink, maybe then I'd remember how to walk. You know it does look easy but when it comes down to the actual moving my legs part, its harder then it looks. I'm starting to question the sanity of Victoria Beckham, how the fuck does she wear high heels every fucking day?
Thankfully I soon find myself outside the Danger Room door without being too battered and bruised. I spot the little red light letting me know that a class is in session. The new and improved Rogue doesn't conform to the rules and regulations any longer, so I'll just open the door and walk right in. Who gives a shit what I'm interrupting, I certainly don't.
Standing in the vast, open space, I'm faced with the younger members of the X-men team suited and booted for a training session no doubt. I suddenly giggle quietly to myself, struggling to gain my composure. Did I really look that ridiculous dressed in all the leather?
Jesus, it looks like I've stepped into a shitty porn flick as I catch sight of Bobby laying on top of Kitty. I wonder if Professor X had a secret fetish for leather?
I'm standing albeit slightly cocky a foot from the entrance daring anyone to make a comment as I receive a number of mixed glances ranging from shocked, admiring and repulsed.
"Roguey, you look stunning!" Jubilee screeches rushing over to me as she helpfully points out the ladder in my stockings and scolds me on my apparent clumsiness.
Completely ignoring her and let me tell you now, that is no light feat, I search the room for Logan but I see no sign of him, damn it. I fix my glare on Bobby instead. I know he's itching to lecture me, he's positively hopping from foot to foot in anticipation.
To my surprise though its not Bobby that has the gall to open his mouth, its Kitty fucking boyfriend stealing Pryde.
"Rogue, can't you see we're in the middle of a training session?" She grumbles taking a step towards me.
Taking a deep breath and vowing not to punch her lights out, I reply in the calmest manner I can muster, "I just need to see Logan, don't worry I'll be out your hair soon. So where the hell is he?"
Tossing a fleeting look at Bobby she takes her time answering "He popped out for a few minutes."
Fucking typical, when I want to actually find Logan he's nowhere to be seen and when I don't want him anywhere near me he's stuck to my fucking side.
"Fine, I'll just wait then, so how have you both been? Its been a while since our last little chat hasn't it?" I lay the sarcasm on so thick there, even I'm inwardly cringing at my total lack of tact.
"Last little chat?" Bobby repeats as miffed as hell. "You hit me!"
"I should have hit you harder and it wouldn't have happened if you'd kept your dick in your pants!" I shriek with pure venom, the drink cheering me on.
"Oh, please, can you blame me? You're a mess, Rogue, look at you. she's drunk again ,look at her, Kitty."
I'm going to rip his fucking head off and take a shit down his throat if he makes one more comment like that. I might be drunk, but I still have feelings.
"Keep talking, shit head..." I snarl taking two more menacing steps.
"Rogue, you need to leave or this is going to get out of hand again. You overstepped the mark last time." Kitty must have lost the last of her common sense while fucking my ex boyfriend senseless because she's trying to usher me out of the Danger Room, hand gestures and all. Personally I know what hand gesture I'd like to show her.
"Are you out of your ever loving mind! You slept with my boyfriend! I should have kicked your ass into next week. Now back the fuck off bitch, before I really lose it."
I can feel my body shaking with rage and the tramp smirks, she smirks at me and opens that trap of hers once again.
"Really, I'd like to see you try."
And that's all it takes. I snap with my animalistic side throwing itself to the forefront of my mind. Even after the cure I still have snippets of behaviour stored in my head and I'd say that I'm currently overcome with Wolverine's rage.
With an infuriated howl I launch myself at Kitty with the hopes of wiping that smirk off her smug face. To my surprise she doesn't phase and I'm able to grasp fistfuls of her hair while landing a few heavy blows to her head.
"Kitty, phase!" I hear Bobby instruct.
"No, I can take her..." Kitty hisses.
Oh, she thinks she can, does she? I don't need to be a mutant to win this fight. Her nails scratch at my face digging into flesh but I pay no mind, I'm fuelled by pure fury. We both fall to the ground and I seize my chance for vengeance. I wrap my hands around her throat and begin throttling the life out of her, keeping eye contact I see her eyes widen with fear but I still don't stop. Every emotion I've felt over the past four months I convert into my frenzied act of violence. Bobby screams for us to stop and charges over but someone reaches us before he has a chance.
I feel a strong set of arms wrap themselves around my middle and wretch me off my terrified victim and I kick and scream like a wild cat trying to escape. I watch as Bobby shuffles over to a heavily wheezing Kitty and I feel even more enraged as he hugs her in relief. I continue fighting my enforcer as they propel me towards the exit with a brutal shove and I catch sight of the thunderous look on Logan's face as he frog marches me to the door.
If I was sober and nowhere near as angry, I'd probably be quaking in my stilettos right now but this shit is pissing me off more so.
"What the hell did you think you were doin', were you tryin' to kill her!" Logan demands gruffly his face inches from mine and his body crowding my personal space.
"Me? She started it!" I bellow throwing my arms in the air and gesturing wildly.
"I don't give a shit who started it, I'm finishin' it. Now get the hell outta my sight!"
"No, you listen to me you asshole. Do you even care what happened to Doug? I told you to stay out of my life! You told me yourself that you weren't my father!" I clear my throat and break out my best Logan impression, "I'm not your father, I'm your friend." I mimic crudely. "So stop acting like it! It was none of your fucking business what the hell I was doing, so for the hundredth time keep your fucking nose out!"
Logan stands there for a full thirty seconds with his head down and my words practically ringing in his ears. I think I've shocked him into silence. I've never dared speak to him like that before, sure I've yelled but never blatantly cussed his ass. Well not to his face, hearing distance or even in the same building as him. You can never be too careful and freak accidents with claws can happen.
His head shoots up and he snarls looking every bit his name sake "Excuse me?"
I feel the last of my drunken courage disappear in a whiff of unadulterated horror. Holy shit, I'm going to die by clawing. The coroner's going to need eight separate bags for my remains and he's going to have to scoop me up.
"You ever speak to me like that again and you won't be sittin' down for a month of Sundays, got that?" I nod my head numbly not trusting myself to speak. "That piece of shit got what was comin' to him, his ass can rot in jail for all I care." Logan grunts never taking his piercing glare away from my eyes.
He roughly rubs his jaw with his hand and casts a dark look at my outfit. "You look like a fuckin' hooker." I don't dare tell him that was the look I was aiming for. "Jesus Christ, Marie, where's the rest of your damn clothes? Go change and while you're at it you can sleep off the booze. Come find me when you grow up and get a fuckin' clue!" Logan barks and stomps into the Danger Room leaving me alone in the corridor alone with a bitter aftertaste in my mouth.