The Light In Your Eyes

by Maddylovesyou

A light that is so precious. A light that brings hope and can change any situation from dire to okay. A light that one would kill for. Killua would certainly kill for him.

20. Chapter 20

Gon blinks as he takes in the tall trees around him that tower over and make him feel small. He feels like he was following someone but now he can't remember and there's no one here. The forest is eerily quiet, no sound of animals and no wind to ruffle the trees. Gon's eyebrows furrow. He feels like someone should be here.

Gon feels a presence behind him. He quickly turns only to be shoved, the raven haired boy falling with an 'oof' on his butt. "You always chase after me. Why? Just get use to looking at my back. I'll always leave you behind." Killua towers over him, a smirk on his lips. "I will leave you all alone."

"That's not true." Gon glares up at Killua, his eyebrows furrowing. "Killua isn't leaving me." Gon gets up from the ground, taking a deep breath. "He loves me...we're going to be together forever so don't even try 'other Killua'. You can come in my dreams all you want but you're not going to break me."

"Together forever? Are you serious? I'm a very fickle being. For the moment, your something fun to play with. A quick fuck." This man sneers, getting Gon to tense at the language. "But you're boring. You don't even know anything about sex. You were copying my movements last night-"

"Maybe I was copying them but Killua was feeling good. He made sounds and he did cum. He came in my face and I'm not just someone he wants to have sex with. Killua loves me. I can tell. I won't let you get to me with your lies. You're not Killua and you never will be." Gon grips his fists, closing his eyes tightly for a moment before opening them back up. "I will be a good lover for Killua. I'm learning-"

"A good lover? Really? Does a good lover keep things from their partner hm? Does a good lover lie to their partner?" Killua smirks when Gon's eyes flash with guilt.

"...I did it for the better good. I just...I didn't want-"

"When I find out that you lied to me and kept this from me I'm going to be angry. Not only that, but I'll see how I deserve better. I'm going to leave you. I don't want a lover I can't trust."

"But...But you can trust me...I just...I lied because I didn't want you to worry. I'll say I'm sorry-"

"I don't want to hear your sorrys" Killua backs away from Gon, the raven haired male's heart clenching up. "I'm leaving." Killua turns and starts to walk away. "You've been a waste of my time."

"D-Don't go..." Gon trembles, the trees becoming blurry. He takes a step forward before he finds his voice. "Don't leave!"

"Are you going to stop me?" Killua smirks. "You're a monster inside. I know. If I try to leave, you'll hurt me. You'll want to kill me won't you?"

"W-What? no I-"

Gon's eyes widen when another version of himself appears behind Killua. The other Gon's eyes are black, filled with nothing as he grabs Killua by the hair and throws him to the ground.

"You won't leave me Killua. You'll never leave me." the other Gon growls before he punches Killua in the face, blood and a couple of teeth flying.

Gon can't move. He's frozen in horror. He tries to scream, to shout, to do anything but he can't. "If I can't have you, no one can." The other Gon keeps punching and punching. Killua's blood is getting everywhere. Gon is crying now. He feels ill. He tries with all his might, finally getting out of whatever was holding him there. Gon runs to his other self and tackles him to the ground. They struggle with each other, Gon punching the other in the face, breaking his nose. His other half grabs his arm and bites hard.

Gon cries in pain before he punches his other self in the wind pipe, blocking off his air. Gon freezes. He wasn't planning on killing himself. He just got so angry with seeing him hurt Killua...Gon watches as he dies. He watches his own face turn blue as he scratches at his neck, fighting for air. Then he goes still, his head rolling to the side, those amber eyes dull and lifeless.

Gon slowly gets off himself, turning his head to look at Killua. Gon whimpers. Killua's face is nothing but a bloody mass. His brains are leaking out of his skull. Gon killed him. Gon killed Killua.

"Noooo!" Gon screams in agony as he runs over to Killua's mangled form and scoops up his body, holding him against his chest. He howls like an animal, holding his love against his chest. "H-How?! I didn't...Killua!"

"You'll lose it." Gon can hear Killua's voice in his head but his lips aren't moving. His lips aren't there anymore. "I'm going to find out about the curse and when I try to leave you, you'll lose it. You'll kill me. Your inner demon will come out."

Gon wails as he holds Killua's lifeless body against his chest, getting soaked in his blood. Tears stream down his face, and he feels such a deep, deep hate of himself. He wants to see his own face contort in pain. He wants to make himself die all over again.

Gon begs for Killua to come back, for this to be fake, and in the back of his mind he's screaming in anger and rage.

He wants to kill himself.

---

Gon wakes up with a start, it's so dark he can barely see but as he looks around he finds that he's sitting on a floor, cradling a pillow against his chest. His face feels wet as he looks down at the pillow that was Killua's mutilated body. He trembles, his mind trying to process what just happened. He's about to panic. He doesn't know where he is or where Killua is.

Just when the ringing in his head becomes unbearable he hears a whine to his right and something wet on his cheek. Gon blinks, glancing over at Hewie who is licking his cheek, those dark eyes staring at him. As soon as Gon sees the puppy, the ringing stops. His eyes are able to focus and he realizes that he's back in the hotel, just sitting on their floor.

It was all a dream.

Gon winces when he feels his arm throb. He glances down and his eyes widen. There's blood all over the pillow he's holding. Gon lets go of the pillow slowly and turns his arm to see where it's hurting. Gon's heart sinks. Where the other Gon had bit him in the dream is a bite mark. Gon's teeth sunk so deep that he hit bone. There's a couple bruises on his arms as well, which in the dream Gon would have gotten those from fighting with himself.

Gon knows he's hurt himself once again.

Where's Killua? That thought makes Gon forget about his wounds completely. He looks at Hewie who is still looking at him. If dogs could frown, Gon is sure she would be frowning. Those black eyes have concern for him.

Gon stands up quickly, his eyes searching Killua out. He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding when he sees Killua is still in bed. The ex-assassin is turned towards him, the blanket covering his waist exposing his chest and stomach. Killua's white locks are sprayed out against the pillow and out of his face. Killua looks like an angel. He's glowing. He looks so soft...Gon can't stop looking at Killua's face. It's not mashed in. Killua is breathing. His face is as beautiful as it was before he slept. There's nothing out of place. Gon didn't hurt him. Gon didn't kill him.

His body completely relaxes. For awhile he just stands there and watches Killua sleep, taking delight in his chest moving up and down. Killua looks so peaceful. Gon has never seen him sleep like this. His body looks so relaxed and there's a small smile on his lips. Gon starts to reach forward, wanting to touch Killua's soft cheek, wanting to touch him and hug him and keep him safe-

He stops when he sees the bite mark on his forearm, reminding him of what he's done, reminding him of the dream, reminding him of the horrible image of Killua...

When Gon glances back at Killua for comfort, he almost screams. Killua's face is smashed in, his blood splattered on the walls. Gon starts to hyperventilate, rubbing his eyes and looking again. He blinks. Killua is back to normal, that small smile on his lips. Gon feels the sweat roll down his face. He feels sick.

Gon makes his way quickly into the bathroom, not wanting Killua to wake up and see him like this. He can't know. Killua can't know about all this. He can't know about the dream. He can't know about the curse. He can't. He can't.

Hewie walks into the bathroom after him, her nails scraping against the bathroom tiles as Gon closes the door behind him and locks it. He takes deep breaths, his chest feels tight like someone is stepping on him. Stay calm. Gon walks over to the sink and turns on the water. He runs water over his bite mark, watching as his blood mixes with the water and goes down the sink. I'm going to have to hide this...but how? Gon thinks to himself as he takes soap and washes the wound. He knows he should get Leorio to look at it but there's no doubt in his mind that he'll know it's a human bite. Who else would have bit him? Then he'll know something is wrong and he'll tell Killua-

He. Cant. Know.

Gon's breathing does a frantic twist in his throat and once again he feels like he can barely breath. I won't tell anyone about it. I'll hide it. I can clean it myself...I just need to ask Leorio for the stuff. Gon wraps a rag over his bite wound, tying a knot to keep it there. Gon glances up at the mirror, his face falling at what he sees.

Gon's eyes are wide, his pupils dilated, his teeth grinding together. He looks pale and his hair is disregarded. There's sweat dripping down his bare chest and he just looks...terrified. No...the word he's looking for is-

"Unstable."

Gon flinches, gripping the sink. His lips go in a tight line and he starts to tremble. His heart is beating so fast in his chest. He can hear the other Killua laughing.

"You're going to lose it when he finds out. You're going to kill him."

"N-No i'm not." Gon shakes his head, biting his lip. "Killua won't know. He's not going to find out." Gon mumbles this to himself. "I won't...I won't do that...I wouldn't do that-"

"You're a monster inside."

Gon's reflexion starts to change into the other Gon, his eyes get so black and soulless, his face blank with no emotion. Gon's anger peaks at seeing his face. At seeing his own face. "I'm not you!" Gon shouts. Just when he's about to punch his other self, Hewie starts to bark at him.

Gon stops, his eyes widening. He's staring at his normal self again. Hewie is whining and barking at him. "Shh Hewie. It's okay. I'm okay." Gon gets down on his knees and holds out his arms. The puppy comes to him and licks his face as Gon hugs her close to his body. "It looks like I'm worrying you too. It'll be okay." Gon pets her behind the head, his heart calming down when he thinks of last night, how Killua had bought Hewie for him. "Killua won't know and I'll never hurt him like that." Gon nuzzles Hewie's head.

The puppy whines slightly at that but other than that she seems happy with the attention. Gon freezes when there's a knock at the bathroom door.

"Gon are you in there?" Killua's voice sounds groggy but still alert. "Hewie started barking and it woke me up. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah sorry she woke you. She just...got upset when I tried to give her a bath!" Gon comes up with that on the spot, smiling to himself. That was a good one. Gon frowns...maybe it's not such a good thing i'm getting better at lying..

"You're a bad partner."

"Why are you trying to give her a bath at like..." Killua pauses. "three in the morning?"

Gon flinches. That does seem weird when he thinks about it. Gon looks at Hewie and Hewie looks at him. They both stare at each other with their heads tilted before Gon gets an idea. "I woke up and I didn't want to go back to sleep." To tell some truth.

There's silence for a moment but Gon can tell Killua is still standing by the door way. "Well I'm up now so if you want I could help you give her a bath or we could take her for a walk or something."

Gon's eyes light up. Talking a walk with Killua and Hewie sounds good. Hewie's ears went down when Killua said bath but at the mention of a walk, her tail started to wag. She looks at Gon with those big black eyes. Gon smiles.

"A walk sounds good!" Gon stands up, all those horrible feelings completely fading away. He pushes it to the back of his mind and it's like it never happened.

"Okay. Let me just get dressed first." For some reason Gon can picture Killua blushing as he says this. Gon blinks when he realizes he's cold. He looks down and finds himself completely naked. Last night comes back, the sounds, the smells, the moans. Killua's flushed face and the sounds that came from his lips. The feeling of Killua's mouth around his dick...

Gon feels really hot now. He did all that with Killua last night. It was amazing. Gon's body is starting to react just by thinking about it. Killua was really good last night and Gon...Just kind of copied his movements. Gon wants to do better. He wants to be able to make him feel just as Killua made him feel last night.

Gon just wants to please Killua. He wants to protect him. He wants to always keep him by his side. Gon is about to walk out of the bathroom with Hewie when he catches a glimpse of the rag he tied around his bite wound. Gon's blood runs cold. He looks around for something that he can wear. With no other choice he starts to dig through the dirty hamper, looking for a long sleeve shirt. Gon stops when he finds one of Killua's shirts. It's a white long sleeve one. Gon sighs in relief. It's perfect. Gon pulls it out. He takes off his rag before he puts on the shirt. Gon feels calm once the bite is covered.

Killua's shirt fits pretty good on me. Gon smiles, looking down at the shirt before he sniffs the sleeve. His heart starts to beat faster. It still smells like Killua...Gon closes his eyes and he can see his lover naked as he was last night, those blue eyes glazed over in that hungry feeling, his lips swollen from abuse...

Gon is feeling too hot in this long sleeve shirt.

Hewie starts pawing at the bathroom door, feeling impatient. Gon looks over at his arm as if to make sure it's still covered before he opens the door and walks out. It's strange walking around naked. Wind hits places that it's never hit before.

Gon's eyes take in Killua as the other male is bent over with something. He's wearing pajama pants and his shirt is off. Gon swallows as his eyes wonder over Killua's pale skin before going lower. The pajama pants don't seem to fit him right. They're sagging down. Gon can see a little bit of his butt crack. Gon flushes, once again feeling warm.

"Here it is. The leash got under the bed." Killua sounds like he's grinning as he straightens himself out, holding the leash in his hand. He turns around to show Gon only for him to drop the leash. "W-What?!" Killua's eyes wonder over Gon's body, they look down before they shoot back up, his face so red. "Why are you wearing my shirt? With no pants?!" Killua points a shaky finger at Gon. His face is so red but those purple eyes are changing, that darker look coming to them.

"I don't know." Gon sniffs Killua's sleeve, the ex-assassin flushing. "It's comfortable." Gon smiles. "I didn't have pants in there. I thought I could just find some out here. I think your shirt fits me well." Gon does a little pose, giggling at himself. I probably should have put on pants but I wasn't thinking about it. My head is still fuzzy...

Killua is staring him over, those purple eyes gliding this way and that before he locks eyes with Gon. He swallows. "It does fit you well..." Killua's voice sounds low as he walks closer. He moves so smoothly and before Gon can move Killua is right in front of him. Gon's cheeks turn pink as Killua starts to rub his hands over his chest, Killua leans so his lips are near Gon's ear. "I like seeing my clothes on you..." Killua's voice is husky before he licks up the shell of his ear.

Gon closes his eyes, feeling his warmth spread at Killua being like this. When the ex-assassin pulls away his purple eyes are half lidded and dark with that emotion again. He looks so sexy. Gon smiles and leans in, kissing Killua on the forehead before moving to his cheeks and his nose and his eyes. "You're so beautiful Killua." Gon pulls back to cup Killua's face, the ex-assassin's eyes are bright now, a soft blush on his face. Gon rubs his thumb over Killua's cheek, touching the flesh that has been beaten and marred by his own hand.

Gon is just so happy that was a dream.

Killua's eyes shift away shyly. The once dominating aura quivering now from his touch and his words. Gon pulls Killua in for a hug, squeezing him tightly, taking in his scent and his beating heart. Killua melts into him, letting out a sigh of contentment. "I'm sorry I woke you up." Gon rubs Killua's back, forgetting he's not wearing pants and forgetting about the bite mark he's hiding. If just for this moment.

"It's not a big deal. Any little thing can wake me up anyway. I'm use to getting up in the middle of the night." Killua waves him off, nuzzling his head. "A walk sounds nice anyway..." Killua sounds flushed. "B-But you should put some pants on...before I lose it again..." Killua pulls away, his eyes glancing to the floor, a blush on his cheeks as he mumbles the last part.

"Okay." Gon smiles before he walks over to his dresser and pulls out some boxers. He puts them on and then a pair of his green shorts. "All good." Gon turns around to see Killua had been staring at him. The ex-assassin quickly looks away and shoves his hands into his pockets.

"You know if you still want to wear my shirt I could get you a clean one." Killua scratches his cheek.

"No this one is fine." Gon doesn't show the slight panic he felt. A clean one meant he'd need to change. He can't risk it yet. Gon sniffs the sleeve again. "it doesn't smell. I don't think it's that dirty. It smells good, just like you." Gon smiles, holding out the sleeve for Killua to smell.

"Weirdo." Killua mumbles moving the sleeve from his face but his cheeks are so red. "Who just says that?" Killua shakes his head but there's this smile forming on his lips. "But yeah, I guess it's fine to walk out in." Killua calls Hewie who happily responds, running towards him. He puts the green collar around her neck before attaching the leash. "Here you go." Killua hands him the end of the leash.

"Hehe Hewie is so happy." Gon giggles, watching as Hewie makes a couple excited circles as he walks with her to the door, walking out with her with Killua right behind them.

"Yeah I bet. Leorio was taking care of her for a couple of days and I doubt he walked her much." Killua grunts as he walks by Gon's side. Those purple eyes watch Gon, a small smile on his face. "I'm glad you like her."

"I love her. It's going to be really fun having her along with us. It's going to be like having another member of the family." Gon smiles as they walk down the stairs together. Killua grabs Gon's hand and interlaces their fingers. He doesn't look at him as he does so.

"Yeah but I'm expecting you to be taking care of her. So if she poops or anything in our home then you're the one cleaning it up."

"I'm fine with that. You don't have to worry about a thing. I'll take care of Hewie completely." Gon smiles.

A comfortable silence falls over them as they walk out of the hotel. It's still dark outside with that cool breeze. The only light they have are from the stars and the lamp post that are lit. Gon and Killua walk down the side walk, Hewie patting along in front of them, her tongue hanging out as she looks around, taking in the sights and smells of the new place she's in.

It's strange being out here so early. Gon thinks of all the people that are in bed right now, fast asleep, not even aware of anything around them. And then he thinks of the people that are like them, up at this hour and out. He wonders why they're up and what they're doing. If maybe they too had a horrible nightmare.

"So uh..." Killua clears his throat, getting Gon to blink out of his thoughts. He looks over at Killua who is blushing darkly, those purple orbs not looking at him. "...Last night..." He takes a deep breath, making his face blank before he looks at Gon. "...Was it okay?"

"Okay? It was amazing." Gon's eyes light up. "Killua is really good at giving a blow job, I thought I was going crazy for a minute there. I liked when you sucked on the head and your mouth felt really good and-"

"S-So you liked it." Killua licks his lips. The blush has reached his ears. " tThat's good...um...I'm not good at...controlling myself sometimes. I-I don't want to come off as a pervert or pushy. It's just...I..." Killua seems flustered. He's having trouble getting his words out.

"I don't think you're a pervert or pushy Killua. You don't have to control yourself. When ever you want to do something dirty just let me know. We can do it whenever you want." Gon leans in to kiss Killua on the top of his head. "As long as you don't mind me doing anything I want to you."

"A-Ah..." Killua closes his eyes, and swallows thickly. He trips over his feet before rebalancing himself. "I...I don't mind."

"Good!" Gon smiles, wrapping his arm around Killua's waist to get closer. Killua wraps his arm around his back and they walk like that. Killua feels so warm to the touch. Gon kisses Killua's ear that is exposed, nibbling at the shell. "Killua is really sexy and he turns me on a lot. So I want to do a lot of things to you."

"Gon if you say things like that...I won't be able to keep my hands off you." Killua swallows, he feels on fire.

"That's a good thing." Gon kisses the corner of Killua's mouth.

Killua grabs his chin rather roughly and crashes their lips together. Gon's eyes widen as Killua kisses him eagerly, his tongue being shoved into his mouth, tangling with his own. Gon keeps a firm grip on Hewie's leash, the puppy trying to push them forward but Gon is trapped with Killua's arm around his waist and his lips on his.

Gon's body starts to get really warm again. He feels too hot in this long sleeve shirt but he can't take it off. He has to leave it on. Gon holds onto Killua tightly as the Ex-assassin's hand moves up and down his back. When Gon opens his eyes, Killua is staring at him with half lidded purple orbs. He doesn't look away as he deepens the kiss, it's sloppy and wet and wonderful. This is another side of Killua that Gon is learning about. A side he hasn't been familiar with since they've been friends. He thought he knew everything about Killua. Now he wants to know more.

Gon's eyes widen slightly when Killua's hand goes lower, grabbing his butt. It feels strange. Different. Killua closes his eyes and moans when Gon bites his lower lip. The raven haired male has learned Killua likes to be bitten. Killua starts to squeeze his butt almost painfully, kneading and rubbing. Gon can feel something hard press against his stomach and he knows it's Killua.

"I only want you for sex. You're not even putting out. I'll grow bored with you at this rate."

Gon tenses at the voice, just as Killua pulls away from the kiss, his cheeks flushed and saliva connecting them for a moment before it snaps. He doesn't take his hands off of Gon's butt. "Is this okay?" Killua's voice is husky as he squeezes Gon's butt. Those purple orbs are dark with that emotion again. He looks so hungry. Gon's body is reacting to it, his pants feeling tighter and his senses being heighten. Gon nods dumbly, kind of mesmerized by Killua's purple orbs, that fire of passion in them and the new feeling of having his ass fondled with.

"Do you like this Gon? Do you like me touching your ass?" Gon shivers at Killua's low words as he leans in and licks up his neck. Gon's breathing becomes uneven. He wonders if this is a dream or something. Killua is acting more straightforward than he usually is. But that emotion in his eyes is greater. When Killua gets like this, Gon notices he's more talkative.

"Mmhm it feels different but I think I like it." Gon's cheeks turn pink when Killua spreads his cheeks and pushes them back together. It really is a different feeling. His heart is beating faster than it should be at the thought that they're outside right now. He knows no one will see him but just the thought that someone could makes him feel a bit hotter. It's the thrill of getting caught that he likes.

"Mm it's so soft." Killua sucks on Gon's neck making him moan, tilting his head over to the side.

"I only want you for sex." Gon's eyebrow twitches and his lips turn in a frown, not that Killua notices. He's still sucking on his neck and fondling him. Gon's eye shine with determination. The other Killua is wrong. And he's going to prove it. If Killua only wanted him for sex then after he gets it...he would just leave.

"Killua, lets have sex." Gon grabs Killua, staring into his eyes with that fire. Killua stares at him, completely taken off guard.
"Eh?! B-but !" Killua looks all flustered again, those purple eyes lighting up in both excitement and nervousness. "It's way to soon for that and I'm still working on getting use to all this and I don't want to just cum before I even-" Killua flushes more and he starts to get more panicked. "Also you look tired right now and-"

Gon watches the flustered Killua for a moment before he smiles. He shakes his head. "It's okay. We don't have to." Gon smile's even brighter. This proves the other Killua wrong. If Killua just wanted him for sex he would have taken his offer.

"Ah, it's not that I don't want to Gon, don't get the wrong Idea, I really want to!- but I-" Killua is so flushed he looks like he might pass out.

"I'm not getting the wrong Idea. You want to wait for the right moment don't you Killua? Sex is an important thing. We don't have to rush anything like you said." Gon kisses Killua, the ex-assassin melting into him.

Killua calms down. He smiles at Gon shyly before he blushes when he sees the large hickey he left on Gon's neck. He kisses it apologeticly before he takes his hands off of Gon's butt. Killua is all flustered again. Gon knows he's been losing control and Gon likes that. He wants Killua to lose control and do what he wants and feel really good.

Gon pulls Killua's hand to his face and kisses it before he interlaces their fingers and they start to walk together again. The cool air chills Gon and he's able to calm down himself. A comfortable silence once again falls over them. Gon ignores the throbbing of his arm from the bite. He ignores the other Killua's taunts. He ignores the ringing and just focuses on this moment when Killua is by his side, holding his hand.

It's going to be okay. Gon won't let the curse win. As long as Killua doesn't know-He can't know. He won't know- then he'll be okay. He won't lose it and hurt Killua. He just has to keep the curse from him in till he can fix it...then he can tell him. Then he can apologize. But he can't now. He can't. Killua can't know.

Those black eyes flash through his mind and his blood runs cold.

"You cold Gon?" Killua caught the shiver of his shoulders. Killua has always had an eye for detail.

"A little bit." Gon lies, glancing away from Killua. I keep lying to him. I'm really a lousy partner. Gon blinks when Killua wraps his arm around him and pulls him closely.

"Better?"

"Better." Gon smiles and Killua's eyes shift before he looks back and he smiles back at him. Killua is kind.

"He deserves better than you."

Gon hugs Killua tightly. Maybe it's true. Maybe Killua does deserve someone better but...Gon is selfish. He doesn't want to let Killua go. He wants to keep him to himself. He wants to keep those beautiful purple orbs on him.

That's why he has to keep the curse a secret. He has to hide away his bite mark. Gon can't tell Killua about the horrible dream he experienced. He has to keep it locked away so Killua won't hate him and leave him. He has to keep it locked away or Gon will lose it. If Gon loses it...he'll hurt Killua. Like in the dream...

Gon won't let himself hurt Killua. If Killua finds out...Gon will take care of it. He'll make sure he can't hurt Killua.

---

Killua splashes some water on his face, taking a deep breath. I really need to calm myself...Killua flushes thinking of his actions last night and in the middle of the night. He fondled Gon's ass. He left such a big hickey on him. Where has all his discipline gone? Now that Gon is his and they're together...it's hard for Killua to keep his hands off of him. Killua just gave him a blow job last night but he was still getting excited so quickly with being around Gon.

When Gon came out the bathroom in his shirt with no pants...Killua thought he was going to die. He liked it too much. The idea of Gon wearing his clothes, getting his scent all over him. Another way for Killua to claim Gon as his own. Killua got horny then and started kissing and feeling on Gon.

Then when they were walking Hewie, Killua got horny again! Gon can't even walk a dog with him without Killua jumping on him.

Killua takes a deep breath. After they got back from the walk with Hewie, Gon wanted to watch TV. He didn't want to go to sleep. Killua had to sit next to him and calm himself. Really, the ex-assassin is horrified with himself. He never had this much trouble before. Now just sitting next to Gon can get his mind going into a more dirtier area and he just starts lusting after him plainly.

It's not that Killua can't wait for Gon. Like he said they don't even need to have sex but it's the fact that Gon is so inviting of it. He wants it. He likes when Killua kisses him and touches him. He moans for him and eggs him on. Also Killua knows Gon loves him now. And Gon is his boyfriend. Everything that was holding him back before doesn't exist. Nothing is there to hold Killua back but himself.

Killua is so happy. The happiest he's ever been. He glares at himself in the mirror. So why is he so greedy? His feelings have grown if that's possible and become harder to control. They're stronger than they were. Killua wonders if he'll calm down after they have sex for the first time...maybe it's just the idea of being Gon's first that is driving him wild or maybe it's just because it's Gon and even after they have sex, Killua may still be a sex crazed fiend.

Killua swallows. He was able to control himself for the movie. Gon ended up falling asleep on his shoulder. It was so cute. Killua got to hold him in his arms for a couple of hours before Gon woke up again. They both decided to get up and get ready and meet Kurapika and Leorio over at their room to see what they want to do today.

Killua suggested that they bathe separately. Gon didn't seem too disappointed with that choice and agreed. Killua knows that if he took a shower with Gon...he would do perverted things to him again. Killua can't control himself anymore. He doesn't want to do this too fast. He already gave him a blow job- when ever he thinks about it he feels a little dizzy and warm- and Gon tried to give him one! It's just...things are going too quickly and Killua is worried that even though Gon says he's okay with it, what if he's just saying that? Gon doesn't' know much about sex and he might think he has to or something. Killua doesn't know. He's paranoid. He doesn't want to do anything Gon's not ready for...

Another part of him laughs. Are you serious? He's practicality begging for your dick. You see the lust in his eyes. He wants you.

Killua closes his eyes, feeling warm and angry at the same time. "Don't talk about him." Killua growls at his reflection. This part of him has always been there. Some times he sounds like his brother, other times, it sounds like himself.

His reflection just smirks back at him.

"Killua are you ready?" Gon calls for him. Killua moves away from the sink and walks out of the bathroom. His hair is still a little wet form his shower but it's fine. Killua threw on a tank top and some shorts today because all his nice clothes are dirty and need to be washed. Killua blinks when he takes in Gon. The other male is pouring dog food into Hewie's bowl but that's not what's gotten him to stop. Gon is wearing another one of Killua's shirts. Instead of taking a shower and changing into his own clothes, Gon seems to have dug through his dresser to find his black long sleeve shirt.

Killua flushes, his heart doing a flip in his chest. He feels both happy and warm at the same time. Keep it together. Gon is wearing those green shorts that are too short for him...And Killua has a hard time keeping his eyes off of those tan, smooth legs.

"You're wearing my shirt again?" Killua crosses his arms and raises his eyebrow, trying to seem sort of interested but not hot and bothered like he is.

"Hm? Oh yeah. I like them." Gon smiles sheepishly as he straightens himself out.

"You know I do have some short sleeve shirts if you want to wear one of them? It's kind of hot out." Killua turns on his heel and starts to walk towards his dresser. He likes Gon wearing his clothes but he doesn't' want him to get a heat stroke out there-

"It's fine. I want to wear this one." Gon says quickly grabbing a hold of his wrist, leading him towards the hotel door. "Let's go get Kurapika and Leorio! I wonder what they have in mind for today. We've already done a lot." Gon smiles.

Killua's eyebrows furrow. There's this look in Gon's eyes that made him feel suspicious. Of what he doesn't know. When Killua had started walking over to his dresser, Gon's eyes flashed. Maybe it was just in Killua's imagination. Though, It is kind of strange that Gon has taken an interest in wearing his clothes. Not that Killua minds but he'd rather Gon keep it in the bed room...it's harder to control himself during the day when he's wearing his clothes. Killua is still a little concerned with Gon wearing a long sleeve shirt. I suppose if he gets hot he can just take it off.

"Maybe we could go to the beach." Killua thinks about it and smiles. That would be fun-

"Yeah!-uh I mean, no." Gon cheers only for his face to scrunch up like he just took a bite out of a lemon.

"No?" Killua raises his eyebrow at his lover. Now that Killua isn't half asleep and horny he is more attuned on things. Gon is acting a little strange. He seems restless, more fidgety than normal. Gon is always restless and bouncy but today it seems to be more.

"We already went to the beach once before! So lets do something we haven't done." Gon smiles, seeming proud.

"Like what?" Killua tries to think of something they could do that they haven't done. They went to the beach, pool, chocolate factory (So amazing), dungeon, plenty of restaurants, movies, arcade, circus and a fishing contest...That's a lot of things that they've already done.

"Hmm...I don't know." Gon frowns for a moment before he brightens up. "Maybe Kurapika will know something! He has that book about things to do here."

"Yeah maybe." Killua studies Gon for a moment as they walk down the hall getting towards their friend's room. "Is something wrong Gon?"

"Why would anything be wrong?" Gon's eyebrows furrow and he looks at Killua strangely.

"I don't know. You just seem...restless or something." Killua looks forward but really he's keeping an eye on Gon. He has this feeling in the pit of his stomach...He's been having it for awhile. He doesn't know what it is. Intuition? Instinct? A hunch? Killua doesn't know. But it's been getting stronger. Killua bites his lip. He thinks...No, he knows Gon is hiding something from him. The run in with Hisoka proved it. Killua wants to ask what all that was about but he'll try to get Gon to come to him first.

"I guess I am kind of restless." Gon's amber eyes shift. Killua turns to give him his full attention. "I just want to find Clover. I hope she's okay. It's taking longer than I thought it would to find her."

"Yeah, that fox stealer pulled a fast one on us. But I'm sure he'll come back or we'll find him. It's hard to forget a face like that." Killua remembers those sunken cheeks and those lifeless green eyes. "When we run into him again...I promise he won't get away. We're going to get some answers." Killua's eyes get dark thinking about it. He will do what he must without hesitating. Gon says that man is a nice guy but that 'nice guy' has stolen Clover and blamed Gon. Even if he's only a tool...he was still used and involved with Gon getting framed.

Killua wont' forgive that. Something really bad could have happened to Gon. For some reason he feels that nasty feeling in his stomach again. Gon nods his head, his lips tugging in a frown. Killua doesn't say anything more. He knows how Gon hates it. The thought of torturing someone to get answers. But sometimes it has to be done. Gon can't have his way all the time and succeed. That's why Killua is here. To do what Gon can't do. To keep him pure. To help him in anyway he can.

Killua would literally do anything for Gon. He would never voice this. He would never let Gon know the power he has over him. Maybe it's his training that makes him unable to but Killua knows Gon is his weakness. In every shape and form. If Gon told him to kill, he would not hesitate. All his life Killua was told what to do, and who he needs to be by someone he grown to hate. He killed for someone he hated. He would surely kill for someone he loved. Killua is sure it wouldn't leave a bad taste in his mouth either as it did all those times ago. Killua's hands are already stained with blood, he would get them dirty again for Gon.

He'd do anything for him.

Maybe these feelings aren't healthy or normal. He's sure if he looked it up online the internet would probably tell him he's crazy. But he's not a normal kid. Not in the slightest. He's tried to be, and he's felt normal when he's with Gon but he knows better. There are things that can't change with him. Like the desire to kill every time he fights someone and the voices he hears in his mind. Killua is sure the internet would say he has some sort of mental illness. Maybe he does. Who knows? Not that he cares. He knows himself and can take care of himself just fine.

Killua has been taught all his life to down play emotions, to hide them, to keep them hidden. He was taught that feelings of love are for the weak. Love was for the weak. Not for an assassin. He was taught that signs of affection should be done behind closed doors. He was taught to have no feelings.

But he does have feelings. He does have weakness. He loves Gon. And he doesn't care how crazy, or possessive it is. He's in love with Gon and he doesn't want to keep it hidden. He wants to show Gon all these things he makes him feel. Killua's love is so deep...if Gon only knew...Gon could do anything. Anything at all and Killua wouldn't leave. Hell, he would yell and act like he would but...Killua wonders if he would ever have the will to go.

But the wonderful thing about this is that Killua knows Gon would never hurt him. Gon loves him and shows his love openly. Gon is the example of everything his brother told him not to be. And Gon is beautiful. Amazing. Everything that Killua ever wanted.

And yes, Killua is aware that he is sort of obsessed with Gon. He's been obsessed with him since they met in the hunter exam. Killua just wasn't aware of it in till he realized that all his thoughts had something to do with Gon and how he was always staring at him. Some might think he needs to get himself evaluated. But Killua says fuck them.

He already knows himself.

Killua blinks out of his thoughts when Gon knocks on the door. It opens soon after with Kurapika at the door. Killua's eyebrows raise when he takes in the blonde's dark bags under his eyes and his pale face. Kurapika smiles when he sees Gon, only to frown soon after.

"Kurapika are you feeling okay?" Gon tilts his head, seeming to notice these changes too.

"Ah yes. I'm feeling fine. I'm glad to see you Gon- and Killua." He seems...jittery. Like Gon but even more so.

"Is Leorio up?" Killua raises his eyebrow and peeks into the room. He sees the older male laying in bed, his mouth wide open as he snores.

"No." Kurapika glances back before sighing. "I'll wake him up." Kurapika's face goes back to being plain again. Whatever was bothering him seems to go away fro the moment. He's calm. Gon and Killua glance at each other before they walk into the room after Kurapika. The blonde shakes Leorio gently. "Wake up Leorio. It's ten in the morning."

"Ughh no it's not." Leorio waves Kurapika off and turns his back to him.

Kurapika's eye twitches slightly before he grabs Leorio's ear and pulls. The older male yelps, his eyes snapping open quickly this time. "H-Hey!-"

"Don't' 'hey' me. I've been trying to wake you up for awhile now. Gon and Killua are here, stop lazing around in bed." Kurapika puts his hands on his hips, those gray eyes narrowing.

"Well excuse me for enjoying my beauty sleep! What crawled up your ass and died-"

"Don't test me Leorio, I am not in the mood. Get up and get dressed."

"Ugh fine. You don't let me do anything." Leorio grumbles as he gets out of bed, he's in nothing but his boxers. He grabs some clothes before he stomps into the bathroom.

"We could have came later Kurapika, I'm sorry." Gon frowns deeply after watching the couple fight.

"No it's time for him to get up. I told him that hours ago." Kurapika looks stern. "We have a lot of things to do today and all he wants to do is to laz around." Kurapika fums.

"Don't worry about it. This will probably happen a lot. They'll fight like this and then go back to being all cuddly with each other. They have that love hate relationship." Killua whispers over at Gon when he seems to be getting worried about his friends.

"Oh." Gon nods before he blinks. "Wait, what are we doing today?"

"hm?" Kurapika is taken aback by the question. Those gray eyes shift for a moment. "Anything that you want Gon. I have a few choices picked out for you that I thought you'd like. I wanted to delicate this day to you Gon, and to make sure you're happy." Kurapika's eyes lock with Gon's. The raven haired male's eyes light up and he smiles, shaking his head.

"You don't have to do that Kurapika! We should make this day for everyone! Not just me. I'll be happy with just hanging out with everyone."

"Why make a day just for Gon anyway?" Killua doesn't mind the idea. It just bothers him the idea came from Kurapika.

Kurapika ignores his question as he walks over to the pamphlet and opens it up. Killua is about to repeat his question, this time with more irritation when the bathroom door opens.

"Geez can't even sleep in this place." Leorio mumbles as he walks out of the bathroom wearing a plain t shirt with jeans. His eye twitches only for him to stop when he sees Killua and Gon. As if he's seeing them for the first time. "When did you two get here?!"

"We're been here old man." Killua grunts.

"Hi Leorio!" Gon waves, those eyes getting bright. "Sorry for waking you. Don't be mad at Kurapika, we wanted to come over."

"No...No that's fine." Leorio flushes. "I forgot, Kurapika was saying something to me earlier in the morning but...I wasn't really paying attention. He did say something about going out today earlier"

"Yes I did." Kurapika huffs, burying his nose into the pamphlet. "You're a rock trying to get up. You went to bed at a decent time last night as well."

"Well I'm sorry I was all worn out from-" Leorio stops when he sees Gon looking at him in curiosity. "...Our activities the other day."

Kurapika flushes but he doesn't say anything back to that. He coughs in his hand when Killua's face scrunches up in disgust. "So anyway, like I said I have a couple of things in here that I highlighted that we could do today." Kurapika hands the pamphlet to Gon. "It's going to be a fun filled day and we're all going to get along." Kurapika gives Leorio a look. Leorio gives him a wink, getting Kurapika to flush again.

Killua leans over Gon's shoulder to look at what's highlighted in the pamphlet. Mountain climbing, zoo, secret garden, dance competition, art museum, mermaid simulator?, and coral reef restaurant.

"I know we probably won't be able to get to everything today. So I thought we could let Gon decide which one he wants to do first and we'll work from there. I was thinking that around 7 we could go out to eat at the coral restaurant." Kurapika's face doesn't change but there's a slight twitch of his lip. "So what do you want to go first Gon?"

"Why does he get to pick?" Leorio pouts.

"Hmm these all sound like fun." Gon's eyes are so bright as he takes in each of his options. He takes a deep breath before he grins. "I want to go mountain climbing!"

"That was the one I was hoping he wasn't going to pick." Leorio groans to himself.

"Stop being lazy." Kurapika scolds.

"Mountain climbing sounds like fun." Killua grins at Gon, both of the boys exchanging excited looks. Even though they are together...things haven't really changed. Gon Is still Gon and Killua is still Killua. They've only gotten closer.

"I'm not being lazy! I can just picture that this mountain is huge and we're going to have to struggle for our lives to just reach the top and then we're going to have to climb back down-"

"Aw. The old man is going to have a stroke-"

"Shut up Killua! I'm not old!"

"Leorio it's okay. We understand that you're getting older."

"Not you too Gon!"

Gon and Killua snicker together, getting Kurapika to smile and Leorio's face to get red.

"Hmpth. I'll show you brats. I'm going to climb and be the first one to reach the top. I'll show you how young and fit I am." Leorio smirks, crossing his arms across his chest.

"You, beat me and Gon to the top? Ha!" Killua throws his head back to laugh.

"You'll see. You'll all see!" Leorio narrows his eyes, pointing around the room. Gon giggles at his friends, those eyes brightening up so much. Kurapika seems to relax even more.

"We got him." Gon whispers to Killua. "Now he'll climb with us!"

"Yeah." Killua grins at his lover.

"Oh." Leorio stops his rant when his eyes fall on Gon. "Before we go I should clean your wound-"

"What wound?" Gon says quickly, those amber orbs flashing.

"The one on your wrist?" Leorio blinks when Gon looks confused for a moment before his eyes light in realization.

"Oh! That one! Yeah okay." Gon smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes as he rolls up his sleeve, exposing the bandage wrapped around his wrist.

"That one? Is there another one?" Leorio's eyebrows furrow when Gon tenses.

"No. Just this one." Gon walks up to Leorio. Kurapika and Killua are staring at him intently now. There was that look again in his eyes. "I just forgot about it. It hasn't been hurting or anything." Gon smiles, that look gone.

"Well that's a good sign." Leorio seems to relax at that explanation. "Here have a seat." Leorio moves Gon over to the bed and the other male sits down. Killua puts his hands in his pockets as he moves so he's sitting next to Gon. He watches the other male from the corner of his eye. Once again he seems fidgety. Could Gon have really forgotten about his wrist? no...He was talking about It yesterday. Unless the lack of sleep last night has made his head a little foggy...but something else seems amiss. Kurapika had gotten pale when Leorio questioned if there was another wound. But there's no way there's another wound. Killua would know about it. He saw him naked last night. The only wound he had was the one on his wrist...so why does he feel so uneasy?

"Let's see." Leorio takes off the bandage and gets to changing it. "It's a pale pink and it looks like it's starting to scab. There might be a scar but so far it looks like it's healing pretty well. Slowly but surely. I don't think we have to worry about infection." Leorio puts on a knew bandage. Gon pulls down the long sleeve shirt. "Isn't that Killua's shirt? And why are you wearing a long sleeve one? It's going to be hot and we're going to be up in the mountain."

"It is Killua's shirt!" Gon smiles brightly. "I like wearing Killua's clothes and Killua likes me wearing them too!"

Killua's face gets red when Leorio gives him a look. He scratches his cheek and huffs. Why does Gon have to be so honest and bunt about things?! "I told him that It was too hot for a long sleeve shirt but he insisted he wanted this one." Killua grunts, his face feeling hot.

"And it's black...are you sure you couldn't change into something cooler? I mean I don't want to be at the top at the mountain and see you having a heat stroke down there-"

"I'm not going to have a heat stroke! And it's me who's going to be looking down at you Leorio!" Gon's eyes shine with determination.

"You're not going to be able to talk him into changing. Once he sets his mind on something he won't change it." Killua shakes his head, getting rid of his blush. He smirks. Even though it is hot and Killua had the same concern as Leorio, Killua knows they have been in hotter weather than this. It should be fine. Gon is wearing short shorts and like he said, when Gon gets hot he'll take off the shirt.

Leorio looks between the two teenage boys for a moment before sighing. He stands up. " Let's get some breakfast or something. It's too early in the morning for this and I'll need my fuel to beat these two brats." Leorio's smirks over at Kurapika.

"That sounds good." Kurapika smiles over at Gon. Those gray eyes are distant. "We can stop on the way to get some pancakes."

"mm pancakes!" Gon grins. "That's twice in a row that I've had pancakes for breakfast! Killua cooked really good pancakes."

"Aw he made you breakfast?" Kurapika chuckles lightly when Killua's face gets red.

"Yeah yeah it's not a big deal." Killua mumbles, rubbing the back of his head.

"It's so a big deal! It was really sweet and there was so much food and he was all nervous and-"

"Let's go get those pancakes huh Gon?" Killua wraps his arm around Gon, putting him in a head lock, his eyes closed in his smile but he can't stop the twitching of his eyebrow, or the heating up of his face.

"Aww I didn't know Killua was so romantic." Leorio teases.

"Shut up." Killua growls, Gon struggles against him and wiggles out of his arm.

"Killua is so red!"

"This is your fault." Killua and Gon struggle with each other, they have their hands locked together and they push back and forth. They get in each others face, Killua glaring at him with his cheeks pink while Gon giggles.

"Get a room you two!" Leorio beams proudly at himself for finally being able to tease the two teenagers and not the other way around.

"Leorio I will fuck you up." Killua' eye twitches. He's too embarrassed right now and Gon's smile is too bright.

"Okay, okay. Leorio stop messing with the kids." Kurapika smiles teasingly when Killua gives him a pointed look. "We have a lot to do today so we should get started."

"Then I guess I'll call us a cab since the rent a car is ruin right?" Leorio glances over at the two teenagers, Killua's blush leaving him from the topic changing.

"Yup. That shit was totaled. Wasn't our fault." Killua adds when Gon starts to twiddle his thumbs in that guilty way of his. Gon looks over at him and smiles, nodding his head. Killua's lips turn upward as well. It's easy to smile when he's with Gon.

"It doesn't really matter who's fault it was if it's completely totaled. We'll have to stop by the car place so I can pay them for the rent a car." Leorio's eye twitches. "I'm glad you got that ass hole Killua." Leorio pulls out his phone and makes a call, ordering a cab to come and pick them up.

"I wanted to do more." Killua's eyes get darker when he thinks of that man who hit them last night. He wanted to kill him. He wanted to rip out his throat and watch his eyes get glossy. If not for Gon being there, he would have killed him. Killua is sure of it. He's no saint. He still has blood lust...He wonders if Gon could sense his urge to kill the man? If so, Gon didn't show it in his face.

"I know." Killua's eyes widen slightly when he hears his lover speak next to him. He slowly looks over at Gon to see the other male giving him a knowing look. There's nothing judgmental about it. Those amber eyes are as honest and pure as always, looking right into his soul. Gon doesn't look happy or upset. He just looks at him with this serious expression. An understanding look. Killua swallows, trapped in those amber eyes. The two teenagers stare at each other, Killua not sure what to say.

Sometimes Killua wants to tell Gon about his urges to kill. He's been afraid to, thinking that Gon would look at him differently or not want to be his friend anymore. He was always told to keep information to yourself. Don't share. Not if it makes you vulnerable. Now that Gon is his boyfriend, no. Since He's been with Gon for so long Killua knows that Gon wouldn't just leave him. Gon is understanding. He's not judgmental. Killua isn't expecting Gon to be like 'heck yeah you should kill someone' and he's not expecting him to be like 'you're a bad person.' either. Gon will say something very Gon like and surprise him. He always makes him see things differently.

Looking into those knowing eyes, Killua feels like he could open up more to Gon. The more he opens up, the more he's vulnerable, the more he's given to Gon. There's a voice in his head telling him to stop this. To pull away. To cut this tie because it's making him weak. No...That's not true...

Gon makes him strong.

"Killua?" Gon's hand waving in his face gets him to blink. The raven haired male looks confused.

"Hm?" Killua notices that Kurapika and Leorio are talking to each other, walking out of the room.

"Leorio got the cab. You okay? I've been trying to get your attention for a bit. You were staring at me with this deep look." Gon tilts his head, those amber eyes curious.

"It's nothing." Killua shrugs it off, his heart beating a little faster as he grabs Gon's hand and pulls it up to his lips, kissing the back of it. His cheeks flush but he doesn't take his eyes off those amber orbs that have lighten up. "Let's go eat us some pancakes." Killua smirks as they start walking out of the hotel room. "Mine are still going to be better though."

"I don't doubt that!" Gon beams, getting Killua to flush. His heart doing a flutter from Gon liking his cooking so much. Maybe I should do it again sometime...

"Heh those kids think they're cuter than us." Leorio grumbles, looking back at the two boys before he wraps his arm around Kurapika's waist, pulling the blonde close to his chest. "We'll show them we're the cuter couple."

"You seem to be in a competition with them today. First the rock climbing and now this." Kurapika chuckles lightly at his lover.

"Ohh they're going to feel my wrath Kurapika. I'll show them how young I am."

"Yes grandpa." Kurapika giggles when Leorio gives him this irritated look.

"You're just asking for it."

"You won't do anything Leorio."

"...Yeah I will." Leorio mumbles, a pout on his face.

Killua ignores the two males in front of him, his full attention on Gon and the story he's telling him. Gon is telling him about a dream he had mounting climbing and he knew Ging was at the top. Every time he had the dream he would wake up before he could make it to the top. Killua smiles to himself when Gon doesn't look deterred or upset. Those eyes only shine with a greater fire. Killua knows that like the mountain today, Gon is going to climb the mountain in his dream.

He's going to find Ging.

---

Killua's hand twitches in his pocket as he watches Gon and Kurapika talk ahead of him. Right now they're walking up the wooden ledge to get to the starting point for the rock climbing. The ride here and getting the pancakes was pretty uneventful. Gon was happy with the pancakes(Though he still said that Killua's was better which made the ex-assassin blush) and he was chatting away. That fidgety behavior from this morning gone. Killua couldn't help to notice that Kurapika was looking at Gon more than usual. Almost like he was watching him. He would smile every once in awhile before he would kiss on Leorio or cuddle up next to him and then he would go back to just staring at Gon.

Killua didn't show it or voice it but it kind of pissed him off. Something about the way Kurapika was looking at Gon...he didn't understand it. Why was he watching him so much? What was with those smiles?

The ride to this place was normal, Kurapika kept his attention on Leorio and the road and Gon laid on Killua's shoulder. Normal ride. But when they got here, Gon told him he wanted to ask Kurapika something and the two of them have been walking ahead of him ever since.

What's with all the secretly? What does Gon have to talk about with Kurapika that he couldn't talk with me? Killua feels that flare of jealousy but he doesn't let it show as he watches his two friends intently. Gon is asking a question now, he can tell by the way those amber orbs light in curiosity. Kurapika's eyes shift just a tiny bit before he answers. Killua doesn't know what, but he knows the kurta just lied to Gon. He's able to pick these things out. Just that slight shifting of the eye gave Kurapika away.

But of course Gon is trusting. He smiles and he says something else. Killua grinds his teeth, tearing his eyes away from the two to see Leorio walking by his side. He seems to be glancing up at Gon and Kurapika in curiosity before looking else where. Killua is sure Leorio sees something odd about this. It's like they're leaving them out on something. If it's something about Gon, Killua should know more than the kurta. So...why does he feel like he's being left out?

God, i'm so lame. Killua huffs at himself, keeping his expression neutral and indifferent when Gon looks back at him. Gon is with me, not Kurapika. Gon loves me...But I can't help it. Killua feels too much when it comes to Gon. He can't stop the turning of his stomach. Maybe it's from the jealousy or maybe it's something else, he doesn't know. He just doesn't like feeling like Kurapika and Gon are sharing something that Killua doesn't know about.

Gon and Kurapika are finally done talking. They separate from each other and Killua takes this chance to speed walk, marching up to get between the two. He grabs Gon's hand and interlaces their fingers, not looking at him. Gon is his.

Gon must not sense the atmosphere because he smiles so brightly over at Killua. "You excited for this Killua?"

Killua lazily looks over at Gon, keeping his indifferent expression but when he sees that smile on Gon's lips...Killua relaxes, his mask falling. He glances away, looking up at the large mountain that towers above them. He grins, forgetting about his jealousy and that feeling in his gut. He'll ask him about it later. "Yeah I am. I bet i'll beat you to the top!"

"No way Killua! I'll be the first one up!" Gon grins back.

"Hell no. You both got it wrong. It's going to be me!" Leorio smirks, wrapping his arm around Kurapika who smiles behind his hand.

"Get out of here with that." Killua waves Leorio off, smirking when his face gets red. Before Leorio can make a comment back they reach the small stand with a man standing inside. The middle aged man, muscular and well built, his skin a dark tan, looks up from the paper he was reading and grins when he sees the four.

"Here to try your luck with my mountain are you?" His light blue eyes get this excited gleam to them before he pulls out a paper. "First off, you'll need to sign this waver. We are not responsible for any injuries or deaths on your way up-"

"Hold up." Leorio's eyes widen. "have people died trying to climb this thing?"

"Well of course. Most the time it was because they wanted to climb when a storm was coming or they really weren't ready for it. You see, anyone can clear this mountain with enough will power. We give equipment for beginnings."

Leorio watches in disbelief as Gon and Killua sign the waver, even after hearing all that. Kurapika signs it and Leorio sighs in defeat. Everyone is looking at him. He grumbles as he walks over and signs the waver himself.

"You can do it. I see it in your eyes. You got heart." The man smiles at Leorio, getting the other male to rub the back of his head, a flattered smile finding itself on his lips. It also seems to calm him down. Kurapika grabs Leorio's hand and rubs the top of it to give him added encouragement. "Now lets talk about the price. Normally it would be 30,000j a person. But I like you guys." The man looks between the four. "It's been a while since I've seen such young people with such potential. I want to see you all make it to the top of my mountain. So if you all four make it, you don't have to pay me anything. If any one of you doesn't make it, you'll have to pay me the full 30,000j a person."

"Are you sure sir? If you make that deal you're not going to get paid anything." Gon says with that innocent face of his. Those amber eyes get bright with that fire and he smiles. "Because we're all going to make it up to the top. No doubt about it."

"Hahaha! Yes I'm sure my boy!" The man laughs heartily. "I like that fire! I like that confidence in your friends. Truth be told, you remind me of someone who came to climb my mountain years ago. He was confident just as you, if not a bit cocky. He climbed my mountain with ease, just as I know you will. When I think about it, he looked a lot alike you too. The same dark hair and eyes-"

"Ging!" Gon's eyes widen and he looks over at Killua. The ex-assassin nods, his expression serious. He waits to see Gon's reaction, and as he expected, Gon's lips turn up into a smile, those amber orbs shaking in excitement as he takes in the mountain before looking back at the man. "How long ago was that?"

"A long time boy. About...20 years ago."

"Oh." Gon's shoulders slump a little only to pick back up when he looks towards the mountain. "So Ging was here...it's just like my dream Killua. But this time, I'm going to climb it. Even though I know it's not going to bring me physically closer to Ging, I feel like if I can't climb this mountain, then...I won't ever find him."

Killua nods. Gon has always been like this. All or nothing. Like at the hunter exam when he was fighting Henzo. Gon kept fighting even when it was pointless, just because in his head he felt that if he lost, then he would never find Ging. His dream pushes him to his breaking point and Gon is so stubborn that once he gets an idea in his head it becomes reality.

So Gon has to climb this mountain.

"You're going to reach the top. Like you said..." Killua gives him a grin, reassurance in his eyes. "No doubt about it right?"

"Right!" Gon grips his fists, those eyes staring at them with that determined look before he smiles at Killua.

"I'm still going to beat you up to the top though." Killua grunts, smirking when Gon gives him a look.

"No way." Gon huffs.

"is anyone going to be using equipment?" The man cuts in looking at everyone.

"Ging didn't use the equipment did he?" Gon asks.

"Hm..." The man's eyes squint as he thinks. "No. He didn't."

"I thought so." Gon's eyes get brighter. "I'm not going to use it either."

"Hey now, this is dangerous!" Leorio points a finger at Gon. "People have died climbing this thing-"

"I won't be using the equipment either." Killua says blankly.

"Let's be reasonable you two-"

"I won't be using the equipment." Kurapika says.

"Well fuck me!" Leorio throws his arms in the air. "I guess we all want to die so I guess I don't want the equipment either!"

"Haha alright! That's what I'm talking about! Just be careful up there. It's rare but you might come across some animals-"

"What?!"

"Come on Leorio! If you stay back there you're going to lose!" Gon calls back to Leorio, running towards the start of the mountain with Killua by his side.

"Wait up!" Leorio growls and runs after them. "Don't you dare get a head start! That's cheating!"

Kurapika runs after Leorio, another chuckle leaving his lips, those gray eyes softening when he sees all his friends having fun.

"Wow look how big it is!" Gon's amber eyes shine as he looks up to the sky. Killua looks up with him as he cracks his fingers. Gon starts to stretch his legs and twist his body.

"Alright, I'm not going to die." Leorio takes a deep breath before he takes off his shirt and throws it to the side. "I'm going to be so far ahead of you two so I won't be able to watch after you-"

"Like we need you to watch us one, and two, you're not going to be ahead of us." Killua decides to take off his shirt as well, he can feel the sun beating on his back and he knows it's gong to get worse as they go up. Killua glances over at Gon but the other male doesn't make any move to take off his shirt. Is he really going to climb up with that long sleeve shirt? As if to answer his question, Gon walks up to the mountain and grabs his first hold.

"On the count of three guys! We'll all start climbing up." Gon smiles, that excited look not leaving him. Killua gets next to Gon, Leorio taking his other side while Kurapika gets next to Leorio. The blonde isn't taking his shirt off either. "If anyone needs help just yell and I'll come down to help you." Gon looks at Leorio.

"Why are you looking at me?!"

Killua snickers, making sure he has a good hold. Gon gives Leorio a sheepish smile. "Just if you need it."

"I won't need it." He huffs.

"Okay!" Gon cheers taking his eyes off Leorio to look back at the mountain. "On the count of three!. One. Two..." Killua's legs tense, Leorio's shoulder muscles flex. Kurapika just tightens his grip on the mountain. "Three!"

Killua uses his legs and nen to shoot up in the sky, grabbing a hold of the mountain, smirking to himself about his brilliant idea- His eyes widen when he feels something land next to him soon after. He glances over to see Gon grinning at him. "Wow Killua you had the same idea!"

Killua's surprise turns to a smirk. This is going to be fun.

"Hey that's cheating!" Leorio yells from down below. He's slowly climbing up to them with Kurapika. The blonde could have had a jump start too but Killua's sure he just wants to stay by Leorio.

"No it's not! It's not our fault that you can't use Hetsu!" Killua chuckles when Leorio curses up at them. He looks over at Gon only to see the other male isn't by his side anymore. Killua looks up, his eye twitching when he sees Gon has started to climb as he was teasing Leorio.

"Trying to pull a fast one are you?" Killua climbs up after him. Gon is moving pretty fast so he's not able to catch up to him right away.

"hehe i'm not going to lose to you Killua." Gon chuckles. Killua swears Gon is a monkey the way he's climbing up this mountain with ease. Though Killua has to admit that this mountain is pretty easy to climb, there's plenty of places to grab and hold on to.

Killua flushes when he looks up again only to get a good view of Gon's ass. He looks back at the mountain quickly. Thoughts of last night surfacing back, and he can't help to think of how soft Gon's butt had felt in his hands. His heart picks up speed and he takes a deep breath. He needs to focus. But damn, if it's not hard when Gon's tempting bottom is right in his line of vision when he looks up.

Killua decides to pick up the pace and go to the side so Gon isn't above him anymore. After awhile of climbing he's finally side by side with Gon once again. He smirks over at Gon who returns it with a grin before his attention is back on the mountain. He's focused. Killua needs to get focused. Killua takes a deep breath and focusing on climbing and winning this. Leorio is way behind them. He never had a chance.

After awhile of climbing, sweat is starting to pour down his back. He's probably going to be burnt by the end of this. They have to be more than half way up the mountain now. Killua glances down, his eyes widening at how small everything looks. A fall from here would certainly mean death. Killua is thrilled. He looks over at Gon to see if he's enjoying the danger only to frown. Gon has stopped climbing. His face is red and his amber orbs are distant.

"Gon?" Killua climbs up a bit more, trying to catch up to be by his side. The first thing Killua is thinking is that Gon is too hot with that long sleeve shirt like he knew he would be. "There's a ledge up there we can rest on. Lets get that shirt off of you-"

Gon's eyes flash. In one swift moment he pushes away from the mountain and starts to fall. "Gon!" Killua screams, the other male falling quickly. Killua's mind is in a frenzy but his body moves without him telling it to. He gets out his yoyo, his hand turning into a claw, digging into the mountain to give him leverage. He throws his yoyo, it wrapping around Gon's ankle.

It stops Gon's fall, the other male jerking to a stop before he swings slowly side to side. Killua lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. His heart is beating dangerous fast in his chest. It only takes a moment before Killua settles it down. With all his strength he climbs up the mountain, pulling Gon's dead weight with him.

Once he gets on the ledge he was talking about, he grabs a hold of the yoyo's wire and starts to pull Gon up. He pulls Gon's large body on the ledge, his blue eyes looking him over with concern before he turns Gon to face him. The other male is smiling. His eyes are closed and he's smiling.

"Gon what the hell was that?!" Killua can't help to shout. That was scary. If Killua didn't react as fast as he did...Gon could be down to earth now, splattered.

Gon's eyes snap open. When he sees Killua's expression, he frowns deeply. Those eyes still look distant. "You always have to save me Killua." Gon's voice is strange. "You always have to watch after me. I'm nothing but..." Gon blinks, that weird look leaving him. Killua doesn't like the frown on his face. "...A burden. Extra weight."

Killua glares at Gon before he smacks him over the head. "Don't be stupid. A burden? Extra weight? Never. You've saved me countless times." The only reason I'm like this is because of you. "The only reason you fell was because you're keeping this shirt on. You're overheating and it's getting to your head-" Killua stops when he remembers...Gon had pushed off. Gon wouldn't' have jumped on purpose..No. The heat must have gotten to his head. He's saying strange things as well.

"I want to keep the shirt on." Gon says quickly as he stands up and starts to climb up the mountain again. "thanks Killua, but I've never saved you. You've always been the one waiting on me."

Killua glares after Gon, his heart is beating slowly. How can Gon think like this? Doesn't he know? "Gon I would be..." nothing without you. Say it. Killua is freezing up. He's not good at this. So he decided to make an example. Killua climbs up after Gon so they're climbing side by side. "Gon I..." Killua swallows down his feelings. "You save me every day."

Gon glances over at him and when he does, Killua lets go of the mountain, allowing himself to fall. "Killua!" Gon's eyes widen and he quickly jumps after him. Gon grabs Killua's hand and grabs the ledge they were on just moments ago. They dangle, Gon staring down at him with wide eyes. Killua's heart is beating quickly but...he put his trust in Gon. He put his life in his hands.

"You had my back." Killua says when Gon pulls him up. Gon looking at him with wide eyes still. "That's what friends do. Do you consider me a burden now Gon?-"

"N-No of course not-"

"Then don't think of yourself as a burden just because I helped you out. You helped me out. We help each other out. That's what we do...that's what you've taught me through all these years." Killua grabs Gon's shoulders, seeing how those eyes brighten back up.

"Killua you could have died." Gon wraps his arms around Killua hugging him tightly. "And you trusted me to save you..."

"I know I can count on you. Just like you can count on me." Killua closes his eyes, his heart fluttering and his stomach twisting in his feelings as he wraps his arms around Gon and hugs him tightly. He's still trying to get his body to calm down. The whole time he was falling he just wanted to save himself but he let Gon do it. He needed to see how much Killua puts his trust in him, how much he needs him.

Gon doesn't save him physically. He saves him mentally. He saves his soul.

"You're right." Gon holds him a bit longer before he pulls away. Those amber orbs are back again. Bright with fire. He smiles and caresses Killua's cheek before leaning in and giving him a sweet kiss on the lips. The ex-assassin melts into the touch, his eyes closing and his body finally relaxing completely. Gon pulls away, grinning when he sees Killua's flushed cheeks. "alright! No more falling! Let's see who can make it up to the mountain first." Gon glances down the ledge. He frowns slightly. "Leorio is far back. I hope he'll be able to make it to the top. The more we go up, the less there is to hold on to."

"I was noticing that too." Killua takes a deep breath to compose himself even though all he wants to do is pull Gon back and indulged himself in Gon's sweet lips. Gon is like chocolate to him. He can't get enough. "I hope he'll be able to make it too. If so, we don't have to pay."

"Killua you're so cheap." Gon chuckles when Killua glares at him. "Unless it comes to chocolate. Then you spend all your money but anything else you count your pennies."

"I am not cheap! I, like every human being, like free things." Killua grumbles as he grabs a hold of the mountain once again. "I spend money on the important things in life."

"Chocolate?" Gon tilts his head as he grabs on the mountain and starts climbing back up it with ease.

"Yes chocolate. I said important things in life." Killua keeps up with Gon this time. Just in case whatever happened before happens again. Killua was in shock when it was going on but once his mind cleared he was able to see what was odd with it. Gon pushed off the mountain. Killua still can't get that image out of his mind. Heat induced delirium? It could be. Gon must have been confused. It's that damn shirt he's wearing yet Gon still won't take it off. He seems fine now though. But Killua won't take any chances.

"Hmm Chocolate isn't on my list for important things in life." Gon thinks for a moment. "What's at the top of the list for you Killua?"

You. Killua flushes, licking his lips. Now that they are together he should be able to say things like this but it's too embarrassing. "What's on the top of your list?" Killua decides to reflect the question.

"That's a secret." Gon gives him a boyish smile before he climbs faster up the mountain. Killua's eye twitches slightly.

"If you weren't planning on telling me what's on the top of your list why ask about what's on the top of mine?" Killua climbs after him but Gon has picked up the pace. This race might be close.

"I wanted to see if you would tell me." Gon sticks out his tongue as he keeps climbing up.

"Cheeky bastard." Killua grumbles, having to climb slower when there's less and less to hold on to.

"Guess what's at the top of my list." Gon says after awhile of silence. Killua thinks about it, still keeping himself focused on climbing. It's very easy to slip and fall to your death here.

"I don't know if it's the top but I know finding Ging is up there."

"Maybe, but it's not my number one."

"...Getting stronger?" Killua's purple orbs slide over to look at Gon. After years of being with him he's heard this constant theme. "I need to be stronger Killua. I need more. I need more power." Gon is always trying to improve himself. Always trying to become better, stronger.

Gon smiles at his answer. "No, but that's up there too."

"Your friends?" Killua licks his lips.

"what about friends?"

"I don't know...so friends is at the top of your list?"

"Sort of." Gon smiles over at Killua. He stops climbing for a moment. "I'll tell you since you've pretty much got it. I think the most important thing in life is to be able to be strong enough to protect my friends and the people I care about. Andddd to be able to have fun with you Killua." Gon smiles up at the top of the mountain. There almost there. "Getting stronger helps me with everything. To protect you and everyone. To keep up with you and to be able to be someone you can count on. Getting stronger brings me closer to Ging. So I'll keep getting stronger. I won't give up." Gon smiles back at Killua with his eyes closed. "And I'll make you a happy man Killua."

Killua stares at Gon with his eyes open wide, those purple orbs gaining light from Gon's radiant smile. He can only stare, his heart beating faster at his words. Gon is so open. He is light. Killua once again wonders how someone like him ever got someone like Gon. The complete opposite of him. Pure, honest, positive. You don't have to get any stronger. You've done more than enough for me...I'm a very, very happy man. Killua's mind feels fuzzy. He wants to say these words, and speak more openly but the words get caught in his throat.

Killua's face gets red and he looks at the mountain, the sun's rays have nothing on Gon's effect on his body. Killua tries to get the courage to say what he's thinking but when he looks back at Gon, He's already almost to the top of the mountain. "H-Hey!"

"Haha! Sorry Killua but you snooze you lose!" Gon chuckles as Killua spends up his climbing to catch up with him.

"I regret ever telling you that line." Killua mumbles, his eyes narrowing and his blood pumping. He tries to beat Gon, but the raven haired male gets to the top before him. Killua groans as he crawls onto the top. Gon is jumping up and down, his arms in the air.

"I win!"

"Yeah, yeah." Killua waves the other male off though he feels a little annoyance from losing. What can he say? Some things never change.

Gon grins, those amber orbs playful only for him to stop moving. He looks around the top of the mountain his face getting serious. "Ging was here." Killua's annoyance leaves him and his face goes blank. He nods, glancing around the top of this mountain. There's nothing special about it. It's flat with a couple of rocks on it. "I made it up the mountain." Gon's lips turn in a small smile as he walks over to the edge and sits down, looking out towards the sun in the distance.

Killua watches him for a moment, knowing that look, seeing it a couple of times. Gon is a simple boy but times like this, when he gets those looks...It's hard for Killua to read him. Even though Killua has been with Gon for so long, there are still things he doesn't know about him. Killua wonders what he's thinking about right now. Maybe about how Ging was here, or his plans for the future? Killua doesn't know but he does what he's always done.

Killua sits next to Gon and hugs his knees to his chest just as Gon is doing. He glances over at Gon, taking in the small smile on his lips. Killua closes his eyes and smiles.

He joins Gon and soaks in the moment, not knowing what's going through the other male's head, but in Killua's own way, he becomes a part of it by just sitting next to him.

They stay like this for a long time, just sitting side by side, enjoying the view. Killua is content with just being by Gon's side. It's where he's meant to be.

Killua lets his mind go blank. He doesn't want to think about how much of a bitch it's going to be to climb back down. He can hear Leorio moaning and groaning from here.

"I'm closer Killua." Killua opens his eyes and looks over at Gon. Those eyes are so bright.

The ex-assassin just watches him before a smile of his own turns his lips. Despite how much Killua has grown to have a secret distaste for Ging, he loves the hope and light the idea of finding him brings to Gon's being.

Killua will help Gon in all the ways he can so he can finally find Ging. And once that's done...He doesn't know. He just knows that no matter what...Killua reaches over and puts his hand over Gon's. The raven haired male's smile grows and he lays his head on his shoulder.

Killua is staying with Gon.

---

"Ugh my arms and my legs." Leorio groans as they walk down the ledge to where they parked their car. Leorio is red in the face, sweat pouring down his back.

"You did good Leorio!" Gon beams at his friend, a skip to his step. "You made it to the top!"

"How the hell do you still have that shirt on? It's so hot." Leorio complains again, pouring a bottle of water on himself. "and you still have energy! Both of you do!" Leorio grumbles. "I might not have beat you guys but don't you dare call me old!"

"I'm not. You made it to the top. That's more than I was expecting. You impressed me." Killua grins, holding Gon's hand as they make their way down to the cab.

"Good. You better be damn impressed. I just climbed a freaking mountain." Leorio huffs. Kurapika watches everyones interactions before he smiles. He still looks a little pale.
"That was fun wasn't it Gon?" Kurapika looks back at Gon.

"Yeah!" Gon smiles at Kurapika.

"What would you like to do next?" Kurapika pulls out the pamphlet. "We still have plenty of time."

"hmm..." Gon takes the pamphlet and stops walking to look at it.

"Please pick something that doesn't involve walking or anything physical." Leorio cracks his back.

"What about the secret garden? What is that?" Gon looks at Kurapika, Killua looking over his shoulder.

"I heard it's a very beautiful garden that has historical value. They say that the garden was used for the queen and her lover to sneak off to have their affair under the king's nose. It's very beautiful."

"SO basically it's just a bunch of flowers?" Killua grunts.

"Ugh lets do something cool. Like go swimming in the pool. I'm dying out here."

Gon frowns slightly at the mention of the pool. He looks at the other things highlighted. "How about the zoo?"

"How about the pool? Come on lets just dip in and cool down."

"Leorio stop being a baby." Kurapika says when he catches the slight frown on Gon's lips. "you've done nothing but complain." Kurapika glares at the other male. "Let Gon pick what he wants to do."

"What the hell i'm not being a baby! I'm just suggesting we all go to the pool. That's fun right?" Leorio glares at Kurapika. "I don't like your attitude today Kurapika."

"And I don't like hearing you whine all day Leorio."

"Guys it's okay. We can go to the pool. Leorio does look hot." Gon speaks up, Killua can tell he doesn't like them fighting. Killua couldn't care less. "I think the heats getting to us and making us irritated." Gon waves his hands, giving his two friends a smile. " so I'm fine with the pool. Let's go cool off." Gon starts walking off with Killua by his side.

"If you're okay with it Gon then okay." Kurapika calms down and follows after Gon. Leorio still doesn't look too happy with his lover but he calms down after awhile.

"...I guess I have been whining a lot today." Leorio rubs the back of his head, those brown orbs shifting away from Kurapika when he looks at him. "I don't know, I'm just not use to physical activities. I've let myself get out of shape. Even though I know I'm young, those two make me feel old. They're monsters. It's like they're not even human."

"You did great Leorio. There's no reason to be jealous or angry about your abilities." Kurapika smiles gently, that irritation leaving him as he grabs Leorio's hand. "Your strength comes from within. Just as that man said, you have a strong heart. You have the mindset of a doctor. And to be quite honest." Kurapika looks back at Gon and Killua, the two males talking in front of them. "I wonder if they're human sometimes as well."

Leorio grins at Kurapika for a minute before he kisses the top of his head. "Thanks for staying back there with me...I know you probably could have climbed faster."

"I was in no rush." Kurapika smiles. A comfortable silence falls overt them, and for once Kurapika is able to relax just a tiny bit.

So far, everyone is getting along. So far, everything is going good. Kurapika plans on keeping it that way. For as long as he can in till 8 o clock comes around...

Then he knows it's all going to hell.