Thanks to my usual little gang of reviewers RogueNya, Brit-Babe191, darkfantasy16 and NyahLi1 and to the new guys, rockout1 and Noci-chan.
RogueNya - You might think that things can only get better but around here we say things can only get worse. What can I say, I suppose us Brits are a bunch of pessimists! LOL
Brit-Babe191 - You and me both. Remember drinking's bad for you! ;) LMAO
rockout1 - Nope, no Logan and Rogue romance in this fic but I'm glad you're still enjoying it and I hope that doesn't put you off too much :) And thanks for putting this fic on your favourites list.
darkfantasy16 - Patience, you just need some patience! LOL Yeah I like to update often, helps that I'm getting encouraging reviews too. What must your neighbours think if you're squealing every time you check the net! :p
NyahLi1 - Two reviews! You should be ashamed of yourself...Nah, just kidding. Oh no I have been away, only for the weekend though, was able to post a chapter before I left and another one when I got back. I've never been so organised, quite scary when you think about it LOL. Its lovely to know that you've enjoyed the last four chapters. I've had fun writing the last few, especially the Gambit interaction in the kitchen. And another Beatles fan...Whoooo! What's your favourite album?
Aw, bless, hope your eldest had a great day and where's my cake? :P
I'm a fan of Logan road trips too and how could anyone not snap at Barbie. Oh Jubes! I almost forgot about her LOL. Yep Rogue's got a lot to make up for that will probably be mentioned in the next few chapters...now that you've reminded me!
Lucky you playing all your records, I've broken my bloody Ipod and I'm missing my music! and I'll hold you to that vow, review every chapter from now on! ;)
Noci-chan - Aw, thanks for the compliments. I prefer a bad girl Rogue, too. I mean there's nothing wrong with the sweet blushing Marie but I think it makes the story a lot more fun to read and write when she goes off the rails.
And be careful what you wish for, that might just be a possibility. I'll see what I can do. I'm writing these chapters from scratch now because I've run out of notes. I would never have guessed English was your second language until you mentioned it yourself and I checked out your profile. Let me put it this way...your English is a hell of a lot better than my Spanish! LOL
A shorter chapter this time and seriously angst ridden :(
I'm Down
For the past three hours, twenty nine minutes and forty six seconds I've been giving Logan the silent treatment. He simply refuses to budge on the issue and I want to go back to the damn mansion. That stubborn hard headed, thick skulled asshole...
Just between you and me, I more then miss the taste of hard liquor, it's become like a drug to me. Eventually I gave up the childish assumptions and stopped believing that Logan would return and like a knight in shining armour save me from all that's wicked with the world. So I resorted to other methods to kill the pain, the old Marie would snivel, blither all her heart felt feelings out to anyone with a friendly ear, then probably beg on her hands and knees for help.
Thinking about it, I don't think she would ever have dared to numb the pain with booze in the first place, sure she was mouthy at times but I've morphed into a whole different being since then and with a hell of a lot more issues to deal with.
I hear the bathroom door open and out walks a topless but otherwise denim clad Logan. "Still sulkin?"
We arrived at a rather shitty motel an hour or so ago in a small town near the Canadian border. Logan wants to do his typical bad ass cage fighting act and I just want to be left alone to wallow and die in self pity.
"Fine, suit yourself." He grumbles when I refuse to answer him.
He digs around in his bag for clean clothes, choosing to wear a plaid shirt that reminds me of the lumberjack in the Monty Python sketch. Although I doubt you'd ever hear Logan admit to wearing women's clothing. Now you see there's a thought that is so ludicrous I should be wetting myself with laughter but I can't even crack a smile.
"Gotta go over some ground rules with you, kid, so listen up."
I groan in utter boredom and turn to face the opposite direction on the single bed I'm currently lounging on. I stare at the peeling paint on the wall wishing I was alone in a well stocked bar, oh God, anywhere but here.
"No boozin', no gettin' high, no wanderin' off... Hell, no runnin' and you stick close to me at the bar tonight."
Wait, he wants me to go to a bar with him tonight but not drink? Sit there and watch everyone else around me drink, but I'm not allowed a drink… Bullshit! "And do as your told. Follow those rules, toe the line and we won't have a problem."
"If this is some kind of intervention, you suck at it, Logan. In fact, I'd call it interfering." I huff into my pillow, its not a feather pillow though. Ha, maybe I am getting spoilt.
"So, she speaks."
Turning to face him with a glare that would surely scare the crap out of an average person, I wail, "Why have I got to go with you? I can just stay here, I'm perfectly capable of being left alone!"
"No way, don't trust you." He grunts taking a seat on the scruffy chair by the door. "Hit the shower, then change your clothes. I had the spark plug pack you some stuff."
"Are you saying I smell?" I demand, crawling off the bed to confront him.
"Marie, can't you just do somethin' without the arguing'?" Logan sighs scratching his mutton chops.
So he is saying I smell then? The fucking cheek of him.
"No I can't, who in their right mind would if it's their kidnapper that doesn't stop issuing the demands!" I shout, grabbing hold of my duffel bag, storming into the bathroom and slamming the door behind me.
Thirty minutes of constant showering and I'm still muttering obscenities. I honestly can't get my head around the circumstances I find myself in. I thought I had successfully pushed everyone away that cared and I was free to do as I please and now I feel as though I'm stuck in a maximum security jail.
"Kid, if you're tryin' to wash away all your sins, it ain't gonna work, so get a move on." Logan bellows through the locked door accompanied by a few hefty knocks.
"Don't get your panties in a twist!" I shriek adding a quietly mumbled "Asshole" under my breath not wanting to incur the wrath of a very pissed off Wolverine tonight. That and I remember the threat he snarled the last time I cussed his ass.
Shivering as I step out of the shower I reach for a towel and wrap it around my body and sit on the edge of the bath tub. Sighing to myself, I don't think I can handle the blatant offer of help that has been thrust in my face but I don't think I have a choice.
No, I always have a choice and I don't need the help. I couldn't give a flying fuck, I'm going to carry on drinking, getting high and...
Searching through my duffel, I just hope she packed...Yes. When I can't clear my head and I'm over run with thoughts I use my trusty razor blade as a remedy.
Throwing the bag back to the floor, I clasp the razor in my hand. Okay, so the blade is still attached but it will do the job. I can't go hacking it too pieces or Logan will hear.
Brushing a wrinkled hand over the inside of my left arm, I delicately examine the coarse and encrusted skin. I've left no room for another much needed session but I have plenty of willing skin. Gazing at my right arm with a small ruthless smile I start cutting.
"Open up, kid, I can smell the blood!"
The door rattles and I look up from my arm. Shit, why did it never cross my mind that Logan could smell blood. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I scramble to my feet trying to hide the evidence before... Shit! I hear a Snikt as a claw is released, the bathroom lock is sliced through and the door is flung open.
"Shit…" I hiss as I attempt to hide my bleeding arm behind my back and keep the towel securely wrapped around my body. The bloody razor has been hastily shoved in my bag.
"What the hell have you been doin' to yourself now?" He demands firmly, stepping over the threshold. His sharp glare sending shivers down my spine.
I take a deep breath but all I manage to whisper is, "Nothing"
"Don't give me that bullshit again," Logan growls stamping over to the corner I'm presently cowering in. When did I become such a wimp?
He stares down at me and I see a spark of concern in his brown eyes. I hate it when he does that, one caring look and I spill the beans. Without breaking eye contact, I show him my newest set of fucked up body art.
"What the fuck is the matter with you?" He snarls seizing my shoulders and shaking me to the point of concussion.
"Nothing!" I cry once again, angry tears threatening to fall.
"I can't help you if you keep doin' this crazy shit! There ain't enough time in the day and I can't keep watch every damn minute."
"I don't want you to! How many times do I have to tell you I don't need your help."
"Yeah, it don't look that way to me." Logan murmurs darkly, pointing to the blood dripping down my arm. "You're insane, kid."
The tears fall as I hear Logan tell me what I've thought of myself all along. I'm mentally unsound, probably unfit to be around the normal people and that's why he's dragged me here, they don't want me at the mansion anymore. They now see me as a liability.
"I hate you," I whisper, chocking on the tears. "I fucking hate you!" I bawl in his face with such hatred I never knew I could possess.
Logan's eyes glaze over with clear inner turmoil as he sighs and walks out of the bathroom, picks up his leather jacket and leaves me all alone to deal with my meltdown.
I hear the car engine rumble to life and drive away as I sit back down on the tub and sob into my blood stained hands, I'm always alone.