Brit-Babe191 - Yep, caring Logan rears his ugly head again, Lol. I hereby give you Idiot number 2 :P Go on, take him out and buy him a drink down your local.

darkfantasy16 - Logan a prick...never! LMAO and lucky you being neighbour less, I wish I was ;) and thanks, nice to know you enjoyed reading.

RogueNya - The woman was a cow. She would probably accuse everyone she meets with dyed hair of being mutant. Anyway I've never met someone with dyed white hair, can you imagine? She was annoying the hell out of me as I was writing. And if it would have been believable to have Logan on his knees, kissing Rogue's feet and begging for her forgiveness, I would have jumped at the chance. But I think he's too macho for that.

rockout1 - Thank you, you just caught me posting another chapter, I almost left you out. I always find idiots like that in a bar :P

Thanks to everyone reviewing and reading :)

The Long And Winding Road

I feel as though I'm a stranger in my own life, I'm not Marie D'Ancanto and I'm certainly not Rogue. When you cease to exist in this cruel and unrelenting world, what do you do?

Well don't look at me, I don't have all the answers. As a matter of fact I don't have any. Standing on a stone bridge mentally unstable and covered in snot and tears is hardly my finest hour and yet it doesn't seem to disturb me.

I'm emotionally detached to a certain extent and despite my hardened heart, I can't throw off Logan's pleas. He's always so gruff and feral but here he is standing behind me, begging me to reconsider and let him help me. If I didn't know for a fact that Mystique had been cured, I would have been more than suspicious, now I'm just confused.

"Jumpin' ain't gonna kill you, Kid. You're made of tougher stuff then that. You'd break somethin' though."

I watch Logan take a modest step towards me and he is less than a foot away now, he's too close.

"Stay back!" I cry, the tears falling thick and fast, blurring my vision.

"Okay, okay, take it easy..." He grunts stepping back.

"You don't understand. Why doesn't anyone understand me?" I whisper positively distraught. Why can't he sympathize with my choice, I don't want to continue suffering like this, I refuse to be a modern day martyr.

"No, I don't. You need to explain it to me." Logan says whilst treading carefully and once again approaching my shaking form. "We can talk, sit our asses down together and discuss it, but not here"

I shake my head rashly and I think I've made up my mind. "I can't" I mutter quietly and pivot to face the impending drop.

This needs to be quick, why prolong a mediocre and irrelevant life? Maybe if I'm lucky I'll fall and snap my neck. Half a second ahead of my intended leap of death the rocks beneath my feet start to perish and I scream in terror as I nearly topple over the side. Why I'm screaming, I couldn't tell you. Wasn't I about to throw myself over the edge? Its human instinct I suppose.

A secure hand loops around my arm steadying me as I struggle to catch my breath and calm my palpitating heart. Fucking hell, that was a close call. Now I'm as puzzled as ever, I feel so relived to still be standing here.

As I stand on the wall shaken to the core and spaced out, I dissolve into a blubbering mess. I can't even kill myself without fucking up, what the hell is wrong with me? Oh yeah, I'm insane, deranged, batty, cracked, unhinged and probably psychotic too and I'm unable to top myself. That's what I will have written on my tombstone 'Here lies Rogue, an insane screw up till the bitter end'.

Logan watches my emotional breakdown without running this time, maybe an old dog can learn new tricks. He draws me tenderly by the upper arm away from the edge and into his arms. I don't have the strength to fight, so I surrender without uttering a word. As my feet gently touch the ground, I fall in his embrace and nuzzle into his leather jacket inhaling the aroma of cigar smoke that always used to make me feel so safe and secure.

"It hurts so bad." I sniff unable to stop the tears.

I hear Logan sigh and he rests his head heavily on mine.

"I know, Kid, I know. Sometimes pain's a good thing though, lets you know you're still alive."

I think that statement has a double meaning, is he referring to his state of mind after Jean's death? I'm unsure but I don't think its relevant to my situation, the emotional pain I'm currently experiencing is unbearable.

"I didn't mean to..." I splutter shivering in his arms.

"Shh, said I'd take care of you, didn't I?" I nod into his jacket. "And I'm gonna, you don't have to worry bout' a thing."

But I have so much to worry about, I'm close to tearing my hair out, what if I get the urge to try something like that again? How can I ever go back to the mansion in this state and will I ever feel a trace of happiness? Please don't tell me I'm destined to be miserable for the rest of my life.

"I can't go back to the mansion." I relate sadly. I can't face everyone there, especially Bobby and Kitty; I still feel so much hatred towards them. Attacking Kitty was just the tip of the iceberg, I don't know what I'll be capable of next time and I know there will be a next time, the pain is still so raw.

"Never said you had to. Can't be draggin' you away from fights all the time, can I?" Logan replies. "You gonna tell we what that Kitty thing was about?"

"Ask Kitty." I demand grumpily. That is not something I want to discuss at this moment in time, I feel shitty enough as it is. I don't want to be reminded of my past failures as a girlfriend.

"Can't, she ain't here, its just the two of us, Kid." I can distinctly hear the sound of amusement in his voice.

"If you want me back on that bridge, you're going the right way about it." I grumble. I feel Logan's back stiffen and his arms tighten their hold around me.

"Not funny, Marie" He growls.

"I wasn't trying to be funny." I huff despondently. I don't think I even have a funny bone in my body, let alone the energy or brain activity to plough into any hilarious comments I might have made in the past.

"Look, how bout' we head straight for Canada. Gotta feelin' you've gone and worn out your welcome in town." I cringe expecting Logan to start yelling at me. "I ain't gonna shout at you..." I release the breath I was holding. "Yet."

I groan out loud, doesn't he think I've been through enough crap these past few weeks?

"We've got a hell of a lot to talk about, you and me but we need to get outta here before the cops come searchin'. You certainly know how to swing a crow bar, I'll give you that."

Oh God, the crow bar business, like I fucking care that's the least of my worries.

Logan releases me from his strong embrace and I miss the warmth of his body heat as I feel the full force of a winters night hit me. I'm starting to sober up damn it, I wonder if it would be too much trouble to ask him to swing by another bar on the way out of town. I can't handle all these constant thoughts niggling away at me, I will never be courageous enough to stand on my own two feet at the rate my life is spiralling out of control.

"Come on, Kid, you're gonna catch hypothermia or some shit out here."

As Logan nudges me towards the direction of the car, I gaze over my shoulder to the bridge where I almost ended it all. I know the probability of me dying was high, I'm not a strong swimmer and the current would have dragged me under as soon as I had hit the water. Would it have been a justifiable and well thought out decision though, I can't answer that. At the time I thought so, yes, but now I'm undecided. As I take a seat in the car and a new wave of pure emotion hits me, drawing yet more deliberately hidden tears to the surface, I sigh to myself. Will this shit ever get easier to handle?