Fully Alive
Chapter Eighteen
Vivienne sat down at Mary and John's dining room table with a sigh as Mary sat a cup of tea down in front of her.
"So, how's Sherlock doing with all of this?" Mary asked, taking the seat across the table.
"Honestly, I think he's still in shock." Vivienne took a sip of her tea.
"Well, I would think so. With him being, you know, him."
"I get it. I do. He grew up never even thinking he'd get married or have a baby. But he's going to drive me insane. Between this and getting shot, it's like I turned into a porcelain doll. It's been a over month and he barely touches me. And when he does, he acts like he's going to break me."
"Give him time, Viv. He'll come around. Give him time to get used to the idea."
"I'm trying. Sometimes I feel like he only agreed because of the amount of sex we'd be having."
"No. He agreed because it made you happy. That's all he wants, is you to be happy. Just talk to him. Tell him what you're feeling. Just remember, you're pregnant. Your hormones are all out of whack. You could be worrying over nothing."
Vivienne stared into her tea cup. "Yeah. Yeah, I'll talk to him. Thanks."
"Speaking of talking, have you told Mrs. Hudson yet?"
"Oh, um, no, I haven't. I thought I'd wait until I left the first trimester. Which is, like, tomorrow. I'll tell her soon. I just want to deal with Sherlock first. Make sure he's not going to have a mental breakdown or something."
"He'll be fine. Don't worry."
Sherlock walked into his kitchen to see Vivienne at the sink. "What are you doing? You're going to hurt yourself."
"Are you going to wash dishes?" Vivienne turned her head to look at Sherlock. She raised an eyebrow at his silence. "I didn't think so." She pulled off the long, yellow, rubber gloves she was using to protect her hands and turned around, leaving against the counter. "Hey. Come here."
Sherlock walked towards Vivienne. He came in close to her and put his hands on her hips, but just barely. It almost felt like he wasn't even touching her. Vivienne wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a small smile. "I'm rather busy at the moment. Just came by to grab a couple things."
"You're always busy lately. I just want five minutes." Vivienne bit her lip. "And a kiss."
Sherlock leaned down and barely brushed his lips over Vivienne's. He let her hips go but she was quicker than he was. She grabbed his arm and held on tight.
"What's going on?" She asked, not letting go of him.
"I'm busy." Sherlock said, impatiently.
"Busy with what? Moriarty? He can wait five fucking minutes. Besides, he'll show up when he's ready. When you least expect it."
"Well, right now, I'm trying to stay one step ahead of him and you're severely interrupting that."
"I don't like this." Vivienne swallowed nervously. "You're acting the same way you did before you told me you were leaving Florida."
"Well, maybe you should take a hint!" Sherlock hissed, ripping his arm from Vivienne's grasp.
"Whatever your problem is, pushing me away isn't going to do any good. Ending a marriage and ending a relationship are two totally different things. So what's wrong?"
"You're annoying me. That's what's wrong."
Vivienne reached up and slapped Sherlock across the face. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She crossed her arms as Sherlock touched his stinging cheek.
"Everything! Everything is wrong with me! Obviously, doing this my way isn't going to work, so we'll do it yours." Sherlock took a deep breath. "You want to know what's wrong with me? I can't do this. Being married, having a baby. I. Can't. Do. It. It's not me. It's not my life. It's yours. I did it for you, too make you happy. But I'm not."
Vivienne's arms dropped to her sides and tears began forming in her eyes. "Okay." She replied quietly.
"I love you. I do. But this isn't what I wanted in life. I can't be domestic. I can't be normal."
"I never asked you to be." Vivienne said in a whisper.
"Didn't you, though? 'Sherlock, I want a family with you.' 'Sherlock, I want a baby.' I only said yes to shut you up!"
"I think I need to go now."
"Yes, I think you should. It's probably for the best."
"You'll either get over yourself or you'll divorce me. Either way, I'll give you a few days to think."
Sherlock just nodded.
Vivienne walked to the bedroom and packed a small bag of essentials quickly. She grabbed a couple things from the bathroom and walked to the door. Sherlock hadn't moved from the spot he had been standing in. She walked past him not looking him in the face, so he couldn't see the tears falling down her cheeks. But by not looking at him, she missed the tears forming in his own eyes.
As she walked by him, he squeezed his eyes shut and when he opened them, she was gone.
Vivienne made her way down to the basement apartment and knocked. Kati opened the door, but only barely, and looked at her best friend through the three inch crack.
"What's wrong? What was all that shouting about?" Kati asked.
"Uh, I've texted Mary. I'm going to go stay there for a few days. It's a long story. I just wanted to let you know."
"Are you alright?" Kati asked, clearly distracted by something.
"Who's at the door?" Came a voice from Kati's bedroom. It sounded familiar but Vivienne was too distraught to try and place it.
"It's nothing!" Kati called back. "Text me when you get there. And call me tonight? Tell me everything."
"Of course. And I'll call in the morning to get you up for work."
"Right. Okay, good. I love you."
"I love y-"
Kati shut the door quickly.
Vivienne shook her head. Typical Kati. Too busy entertaining a man she probably hardly knew.
Vivienne soon found herself on John and Mary's front step. She knocked, took a deep breath, and waited. Mary opened the door and as soon as she saw the crying girl on her porch with a suitcase, her face turned to one of concern.
"I think I'm losing him." Vivienne whispered hoarsely. "I'm losing him."
Mary ushered Vivienne inside without another word and pulled her into a hug as soon as the door was shut.
John came home an hour and a half later and didn't look all that shocked to see Vivienne, still distraught, laying on his couch with her head in Mary's lap.
"Sorry I'm late. I stopped by to see Sherlock. He's in a bit of a foul mood."
Vivienne's eyes widened. Now, she knew why she recognized the voice in Kati's apartment and why Kati was so eager to get away. She tried to lose the surprised look on her face but John noticed it and let out a long, defeated sigh. "Yeah, he's a bit on edge. Mary said I could stay here until he cools down or decides he's really done with me. Whichever comes first."
John noticed Vivienne's suitcase still sitting by the couch. "Come on. I'll show you to your room. Sherlock will be fine in a few days."
As they walked down the hallway, Vivienne hissed in John's ear. "You're an asshole."
John kept quiet until the walked into a bedroom and he shut the door. "You can't say anything. I was in the middle of breaking it off with her when you came to the door."
"How long has it been going on?"
"I don't know. A few months. After everything with Mary and Magnussen, I just felt like I didn't know anything anymore."
"She's pregnant with your child, John!" Vivienne exclaimed.
"Well, that didn't keep her from lying, now did it?"
"So, that makes it okay. She's carrying your baby and you're off getting some strange everyday after work."
"Kati's not 'some strange'. I have been there before." John tried defending himself.
"Yeah, I know. Or have you forgotten that I walked in on the two of you quite a few times after she moved here? And neither of you knew how to quiet the fuck down."
John's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "Just don't say anything. I've got my head back on straight."
Vivienne scoffed. "Maybe you can screw Sherlock's back on."
"If I knew what was going on with him, I'd help. But honestly, I'm not sure. Maybe he thinks that by pushing you away, he's protecting you. What I wouldn't give to see inside his mind for a day."
"Yeah, me too. Um, I think I'm going to go to bed. It's been a long day."
John nodded. "Yeah. Okay." He walked to the door but paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Are we okay?"
Vivienne sighed. "It's over? For good?"
"Yes. God, yes. I don't know what I was thinking."
"As long as it's over, we're okay. It happens again, I'm gonna be the one telling Mary."
"Deal." John smiled. "Everything will work itself out."
"I hope so. Goodnight, John."
"Goodnight, Viv." John let himself out of the room and shut the door behind him.
Vivienne laid down on the bed and pulled out her phone. She had a text from Sherlock. She unlocked her phone to open the message but it was blank. Probably an accident, she thought.
Little did she know that Sherlock was standing outside the building, checking on her, before heading back to Baker Street.
Xxxxx
A/N: Like I said last chapter, mes amies, things can't always be gravy. BUT things also aren't always what they seem. So, if you find yourself quoting Vivienne and asking "What the fuck is wrong with Sherlock?" (And John for that matter), stay fucking tuned! Review, follow, favorite! Xoxo