Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Dazed and Confused

'Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be.'- Anton Chekhov

BPOV

Shit. I was so screwed. Cringing, I thought back to my embarrassing run-in with Edward and Jess on the bed.

I thought I had knocked, and entered after. They probably hadn't heard me, I assumed glumly. Since then, Edward refused to make eye contact with me, or even bother to make snide comments about my presence in the house. In fact, he was completely ignoring me now. I wondered why that bothered me so much.

I yawned as I washed the dishes. I was pretty sure everyone had gone to bed now. The house was quiet and dark downstairs, and the only light was the moonlight shining through the window. I didn't turn on the lights, not wanting to disturb Esme or Carlisle. I was glad that I had asked Esme to leave the dishes for me to wash when I couldn't sleep. I knew I was tired, but every time I was on the brink of letting my eyes close, I kept thinking what Jessica's reaction would be tomorrow at school. Even worse, I thought about Edward's cold stare before getting off the bed and continuing to do his homework. I felt sick. Should I go apologize? Could I? I wasn't sure. I felt sick.

At least I have Alice, I comforted myself.

Finishing off the last couple of dishes, I washed my hands and heard a noise behind me.

I blinked and turned around, my eyes widened in shock.

"Edward?"

He wasn't wearing a shirt and his back was to me but I could tell it was him. No one, not even I, could miss his trademark messy bronze hair that shone from the light of the refrigerator. And not even I could mistake his lean muscular body as being someone else. He turned slightly and gasped. I groaned inwardly. This could be headed a bad direction.

"What the fuck? What are you doing here? Are you sneaking up on me?"

I shook my head in denial while staring at him. I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from his face…his chiselled jaw…his eyes… His eyes were so green; I felt like I was swimming in them.

Edward interrupted my reverie with an angry tone. "Are you done eye fucking me now?"

I tore my eyes away from his and looked down, embarrassed and frightened by his tone of voice. Alice wasn't here to back me up now.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

I flinched back at his vicious tone of voice.

"I…umm, well…," I stammered. I tried to get my thoughts in order but was scared of his response. I hoped with all my might I wouldn't start crying in front of him.

"Edward! What are you doing?" Esme's voice asked sharply, startling both me and Edward.

"Sorry," he muttered, breathing in deeply and running a hand through his messy hair.

"Bella, are you alright?" Esme asked softly.

"Yeah," I sighed, "Yeah I'm fine. I'll go to bed now."

"Sleep well, Bella."

"You, too."

I tiptoed up to my room and lifted my bed sheets, surprised to find a piece of paper addressed to me.

If you ever tell anyone what happened this afternoon, you won't be getting to the end of this shit you pulled. I will. - E. Cullen.

My stomach lurched at his threat. He was never going to forgive me for this, or forget it either.

Turning my head over, I squeezed my eyes shut and hoped for a dreamless night.

***

"Bella!"

My eyes flew open. Where was I again? As my vision cleared I realised I was at Alice's. My thoughts brightened up a little as I went down to eat breakfast with Alice.

I ate breakfast cheerily. Bacon and eggs was something I hadn't eaten in a very long time. Ever since I had moved into my father's home, basically all I had eaten was Pop-tarts, unless it was a take-out night.

I deliberated on what I was going to wear, now that I finally had my full closet here with me. Unable to decide what was appropriate, I shrugged on my usual tee and skinny jeans stuffed into Converse shoes.

The sky was gloomy and grey but it was only drizzling so I left for school a bit earlier than Alice in a rush, hoping to dodge Jessica on the way to Biology in case Edward meant what he wrote to me last night.

Rain misted down on Forks, and I kept my head down so I didn't have to see anyone as I raced into the science lab. I was thankful that it was still empty.

I breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to my seat and started to prepare for the first lesson - something I had never done before.

I was nervous and agitated as I watched the class file into the lab. I craned my head over my classmates, scanning to see if Jessica was in sight.

Angela grinned at me. "Bella!"

"Hi. Where's Jess?" I tried to keep my tone uninterested and even and continued to search for Jessica.

"She's not coming today." Angela said in a tight voice.

I kept my mask cool and asked curiously innocent. "Why? Is she sick?"

Angela sympathised with her. "She said she felt sick after school. She walked home you know, in the rain. Poor girl."

I snorted and she turned her head and looked at me, startled.

"Something wrong, Bella?"

"Not the way you mean it." I replied darkly.

"You think she's lying?" She asked in a sceptic tone. Poor Angela, I thought.

"Not just that. She was actually - ouch!" I turned around to look who had shot me with an eraser at my back.

It was Jessica. And she had an expression on her face that was normally reserved for the people she hated, like Mike or Eric. It was pure loathing. More than that, she was angry at me.

"Don't you fucking say another word, Isabella Swan!" She sneered.

I smirked. "Yeah, because you don't want me to embarrass the crap out of you by saying it, right?"

"Miss Stanley! Miss Swan!" Mr Banner called.

"Sorry sir," we muttered. And I hoped for Christ's sakes that he hadn't caught Edward's attention.

I turned my back around and faced the front. Tears decided to spring up at this awful moment. I clenched my teeth shut, willing them not to fall and humiliate me. Just like Forks, it never rained, but it poured. Life wasn't fair, especially for me.

"Bella, are you alright?" Angela asked, concerned.

"Yeah. Totally fine."

I kept my head down and Angela, sensing my distress, left me alone and we worked silently for the rest of the lesson, though we occasionally asked questions when we were stuck on a problem.

Time passed quickly enough and the bell rang. I hurried to get out of the classroom before Jessica could snap at me some more.

One more year, I sighed, and then it would all be over. All the cold stares, all the humiliation, all the pressure - it would all be over. All except Alice's friendship, I hoped.

Angela had met Ben in the hallway and continued to chat with him.

She looked at me with an apologetic face.

I shook my head and replied, "Don't worry."

Trudging along, I made my way to the cafeteria by myself hoping to spot Alice or Emmett before settling down at the table. I definitely wasn't ready for Edward yet. My stomach dropped as I saw Edward sitting there, alone. What was I going to do? I bought myself a soda and sat down opposite him, not speaking. I was not in a mood for that today. I wanted some peace and quiet.

Edward flicked his eyes over from Jessica to me.

"Alice and Emmett went to plan your father's funeral. Carlisle expects the date to be around October first." He said tonelessly.

I nodded to tell him I understood. Crap. I had totally forgotten my father's funeral, and it was only three weeks away due to all the sudden arrangements.

Screw Edward. He obviously wasn't going to do anything to make lunch more bearable. Now I had no appetite at all. I picked up my soda and dumped it in the garbage bin and headed for gym. I looked back to see if I had left anything at the table, and caught myself looking at Edward's expression. It was troubled, and upset. It made my heart give a little tug and I hated myself for it. He was so cruel and arrogant. Why should I feel sympathy towards him?

Angela caught up with me in the change room on with an apologetic expression on her face.

"Sorry," she whispered as we headed to the gym. I smiled back. "It's okay."

Gym was brutal. Coach Clapp had ordered us to pair up for badminton, which was the bane of the gym lessons. I whacked myself on the head with the racket while trying to hit the shuttlecock back to Angela.

"Owww!" I growled, wincing.

Angela bit back a laugh.

I grimaced at her and continued the next twenty minutes being aware. But my mind was filled with Edward, and his high mood swings that were starting to give me whiplash.

I smashed the shuttlecock back at Angela at that thought. Score.

"Wow. You beat me for once." Angela teased.

I grinned back. "Practice makes perfect."

***

I finally pushed my mind off Edward and focused on my walk home from school. There wasn't much homework so I decided to dawdle, taking small detours on the way to the Cullen's house. I had never realized that Forks actually was quite a beautiful town. Because it was usually raining, most of the trees and plants were covered in green moss. When the sun was out, like today, it lit up the whole town. Looking around, the people I passed on the sidewalk were rather cheery, greeting me with "good afternoons" and smiling. Even I was feeling a little happier. I lifted up my face to soak in the sunshine. It could be the last time I felt it in a while. Knowing my luck, it might, it might start snowing next week as it was nearing winter.

Once I was home, I made my way to my room, getting ready for the weekend.

A knock on the door startled me.

Alice stood in the doorway. "Bella? We're going out shopping. You coming with us?"

"When you mean 'we're,' does that include…" I didn't want to say his name.

She sighed and giggled. "Yes. Everyone except Esme and Carlisle of course."

I nodded. "I'll meet you downstairs in five minutes. I have to get dressed."

Alice groaned. "Here let me help you."

She immediately began clawing though my closet, looking for something for me to wear.

"If you're planning to find a dress of any sort, don't waste your time!" I smirked, and she scowled back. She looked like an angel even though she was making faces.

"Then I'll get you something from my closet then."

It was my turn to groan.

"Alice!" I whined.

"How about this?"

Ugh, I thought mentally. It was white. A white casual tight-fitted dress.

"No way"' I argued. There was no way in hell I was going to wear that.

She stomped off and left and I grinned at her angry little figure rushing downstairs.

I ended up wearing my black hoodie and tight grey jeans, a scruffy look Alice was definitely going to hate.

Alice said we were going out with Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper - and Edward. I wanted today to be a chance to fix whatever was wrong between Edward and me. I didn't want any more cold stares from him. And I didn't want to be unhappy when Alice invited him to see a movie with us. What I wanted was peace. I knew I'd started out at the wrong end of his stick, but I was going to do whatever I could to fix it, especially since we were going to be living in the same house for a while, at least until graduation.

I shook my head as I let my hair down, planning what I was going to say to Edward.

The door opened and Alice stuck her head in.

"You ready?"

"Yeah."

I was surprised when Edward spoke to me when we were all in the car.

"Bella? I know you hate my driving, so I'll try to keep the speed reasonable today." He even smiled a little. What was happening? Was he on drugs or something? I looked at Alice for an explanation but she was just as mystified as I was.

I smiled back affably. "Thanks."

Emmett decided to crack a joke and it make us all laugh and suddenly all the tension that was building up in the atmosphere of the car was gone.

For the first time in a while, I felt relaxed and felt like I belonged with them - in the car, and with Edward.

I caught Edward glancing at me a few times with a peculiar look on his face and I hoped that he wasn't annoyed at me in any way. I had never been this aware of him, or anyone else for that matter. I wanted to joke with him the way I did with Jasper and Em, but I was afraid all hell would break loose and ruin the perfect moment.

I had never been to Port Angeles. Of course, with my truck and Charlie's busy schedule, I'd never had the chance. It was a beautiful town that looked like it was built as a tourist destination. There were a few fine boutique stores where I reluctantly agreed to go with Alice to shop. Shopping with Alice was a blur. Within an hour, I realized I had bought two jackets for the upcoming wintry weather, a dress that I was extremely unlikely to wear, a pair of boots, and a white hoodie I had chosen. The hoodie was the only thing I'd chosen myself.

Alice then decided to go into a lingerie shop with Jasper, Rose and Em but I profusely refused to go.

"Wow," I breathed.

Edward chuckled. "Horny motherfuckers, aren't they?"

I stared. Why was he being so kind to me all of a sudden?

"What? Sorry, I didn't mean to offend," he apologized hastily, "But they are, really. Jasper and Em would never miss a chance like this to stock up."

Even though I preferred that Edward and I have an easy companionship, there was still something bothering and nagging me that I had to ask. I took a deep breath and hoped he would accept my apology and be friends.

"Look Edward, about yesterday, I'm really, really so—," I started.

Edward shook his head and interrupted me.

"Bella, it's me who should be sorry. I didn't mean to, and I didn't realize she was your friend. I bet she got pissed at you and that's why you had to sit with me during lunch." He said this all very quickly.

I gazed up at him. Was he on drugs?

Edward laughed at my bemused expression. "What?"

"Are you on drugs or something?" I blurted out mindlessly.

He snorted and I was relieved that he had recovered his easy humour so quickly. "No. Why?"

"Then why are you being so nice to me?" I whispered, starting the uneasy tension. I watched his face change as he struggled to think of something to say. Oh crap.

"I'm going to act like an idiot tonight because I'm going to be saying 'I'm sorry' a lot. I didn't mean to be mean to you, even at the beginning, when we all first met. I was just…a little fed up because Alice always talks about you. Fuck, yeah I know it's irrational," he continued, "I'm really sorry about my behavior, Bella."

He looked down at me sincerely. I was still in shock. Was he freaking kidding me?

His eyes suddenly changed color to a deeper, darker, more intense green. I was drowning in it. I gasped and looked away, so that I could catch my breath.

I looked around and realized the rest of them were still in the lingerie shop but it was already dark, and the weather had changed. It was chilly, and the cool wind blew my hair, messing my soft waves.

My heart lurched when he suddenly came over to me and tucked the stray lock of hair behind my ears.

"You're beautiful, Bella," he whispered.

My heart stuttered and I blushed furiously. "Thank you."

Hey guys. Sorry for the late update. Again, thanks to all my readers and reviewers and especially my lovely betas izzzyy and SecretlySeverus for their wonderful help and advice.

Next update will be sometime next weekend.

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