Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Please read a/n at the bottom.

Wild Temptation

'The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself.'- Oscar Wilde

EPOV

What the fuck was Alice doing here with Bella?

I hadn't meant to lash out at them. I knew, in my insensitive heart, that Bella was frightened of me. Actually frightened. She was trembling and had cringed into the corner of the wall. Because of me. Me.

I knew I would screw this up. Alice had every right to keep me away from Bella and there was evidence already. I had left Bella alone and bewildered last night, but I needed to get away before I did something I would regret. I leaned back in the car, the leather seat sighing gently under me as I listened to Debussy, trying to hold it together. God, I had made a promise not to mash my lips with hers until she said she was mine. It was a hard promise to keep, but I wasn't about to give up Bella – not even by a long shot.

I wanted to tell Alice that I had changed. I wasn't the bastard I was a few weeks ago who would stick my cock in any girl's pussy as long as she was willing. I even felt changed. But that wasn't going to make my life any easier. Bella was coming home today. I wasn't ready to face reality, or my family's scrutiny of my unsteady relationship with Bella.

My legs felt like lead as I made my way down the stairs. Alice was standing there but I wasn't ready for bitch fights. What the hell was wrong with me? Instead, I felt weak and nervous. I headed for the refrigerator and got out my flask of Johnnie Walker.

I saw Alice watch me gulp while I gulped it down.

"What the hell, Alice?"

Alice's eyes flashed dangerously. "What the hell, what? Dear brother, would you mind telling me why the hell you visit my best friend without telling me?" she asked, poking her thin finger at my chest.

I snorted. It was the best way to keep me from spilling it all. "What, is it illegal?" I asked, my voice hard.

Alice kicked me in the shin. Shit. Even kicks from pixies hurt like hell. "Are you trying to be cool? What is your problem, brother?"

"She's your friend, so she's my friend, too. Nothing wrong with that, is there?" I taunted.

She raised her delicate eyebrows. "Oh, really? Your friend? Nothing more?"

I felt like the wind was completely knocked out of me. How did she know about this already? Alice already knew – some crazy psychic she was. I gave her the half truth. Yes, I was head over heels in love with her, but I didn't know how she felt. Yet.

"Nothing more." I replied, feeling suddenly ill. What if this wasn't what Bella wanted? Could I still be her friend, and not want more? I wasn't so sure about that.

Alice's face softened and she brushed my hair from my face. "Do you know what Bella said to me yesterday?"

Now this I was curious about. "What did she tell you?"

Alice sighed and plopped down onto the bar stool where I usually sat.

"She told me I was lucky to have you as a brother, and…" she paused, to gauge my reaction I assumed, but I couldn't care less.

Bella had said that? No one had ever praised me like that. She told me she thought I was a kind and caring person, but I denied it. I wasn't. Didn't she know the real me? The motherfucking idiot I had been? I thought she would see into me and understand my weaknesses, but she only saw what she wanted to see, and for the first time in my life, I felt speechless.

I kept my voice as even as I could. "Go on."

Alice groaned. "You are such a dick, Edward! She asked if you would change - could change. She sounded hopeful, but I guess it was a hopeless question right, you prick?" Alice screamed at me with sarcasm.

I rubbed my neck and felt sick. So much for that dose of Johnnie Walker. Needing something stronger, I went back into the refrigerator and grabbed the Smirnoff and downed a massive gulp, hoping for numbness.

I was never much of a drinker, not in large amounts anyway, but in situations like this, nothing else but booze was going to make me feel better.

I had no one to blame. No one to blame for kissing her. Or to even think about finally starting a healthy relationship with a girl. A girl I wanted. Really, truly wanted.

I rounded to Alice. "Anything else?" I asked coolly.

Alice looked at me with innocent eyes and flipped her hair. "Yes. You're coming with me to pick up Bella."

I shook my head, staring at the ground. You asshole, my brain screamed at me. But I had nothing to hurl back, so I hunched my shoulders and started to walk upstairs, feeling wasted.

"Now!" Alice screamed.

Okay. What the fuck? My usually girly half-sister must be on drugs. What was with her mood swings? Unless she had PMS of course, I thought darkly to myself.

"Now what?" I asked exasperatingly.

"Get into my car and shut your vulgar mouth until I tell you to speak."

I felt like I was behind the times. Since when were women the leaders of the world? Well, Alice felt like one. And that was ridiculous. She was just in a bad mood, I tried to reason.

The drive to the hospital was quiet. The snow had stopped but it was still freezing and wet. Alice tapped her foot impatiently and hummed some shit song that was on the radio.

Once the building was in sight, Alice stopped humming and nudged me. "Go get her."

"Why?" I asked, for the billionth time today.

"She needs you, Edward," she said softly and continued with a hard laugh. "And she'd much rather you than me now. Go."

So Alice was what? Jealous? I huffed. "Fine."

I slammed the door car and headed to Bella's room, contemplating her response. Would she be upset that I was the one who came to collect her? Yesterday's events were beginning to take place in my head again. God, I felt like such a jackass.

I peeked through the window of her room before opening her ward door. She sat there on the bed, looking down at the fucking book I had bought her, while twirling a piece of her soft, silky hair.

"Bella?" I felt nervous and agitated and wished I had brought my flask along.

She looked up at me with tear-streaked eyes. "Yeah?" She croaked. Oh shit. She sounded like she had been crying for the whole night too, and it was entirely my fault.

I walked towards her and leaned down. "Are you okay?" What a stupid question, I thought humorlessly to myself. Of course she wasn't. She nodded but kept silent.

"You're going back home with Alice now," I told her gently. "And things will be back to normal."

Bella shuddered and touched my face tenderly. "When you say normal, do you mean,' she gulped, 'you will go back to normal?" she finished tentatively.

I smiled and shook my head. "No, Bella. That's the one exception. Let's go."

Taking a deep breath, I stood up and held out my hand. She looked at it for a long moment before placing her hand in mine with uncertainty. I squeezed her hand tightly with reassurance and smiled gently.

"Anything else you want to ask?" She still had her eyes down, and it made me feel pathetic. Fucking pathetic.

She looked down at our hands intertwined together and was gnawing at her bottom lip. What could make her that fucking nervous?

"Do you regret it?" she asked brokenly, so softly it was almost a whisper.

I didn't have to ask to understand what she was saying. But that question made me feel as if I had been hit in stomach by a ton of bricks.

When I finally found my voice, I lifted her chin so that she could hopefully see the sincerity in my eyes. "I don't regret it. It's the only thing that I've ever done to you that I didn't regret."

Bella nodded and said no more but I lent her my jacket so she wouldn't be cold.

I felt like punching Alice in the face on the drive home. If she wasn't as tiny as a fucking pixie, I would've done it already. She smirked at me and glanced between Bella and me several times.

I looked back to roll my eyes at Bella and she smiled vaguely back. My heart skipped a beat.

"We're having Indian take-out tonight,' Alice said gleefully. 'Won't that be a nice change from all the hospital food, Bella?"

I looked back and saw Bella shrugged. "Whatever works. At least I have my appetite back." She joked.

Alice laughed, too. I glowered at her.

"I missed you, Bella. And we're having a sleepover in my room tonight!"

The two girls squealed in delight. Man, did I hate this shit Alice always had to pull. It made me feel fucking sick. I refused to think about Bella sleeping in the room two doors down from mine, but I felt defeated in frustration for the first time in my life. I pinched my nose with my fingers and sighed. Bella wasn't mine. She deserved better, much better than everything I could ever offer her. I wanted to hold her while she slept. I could only imagine how lonely I would be tonight.

When Alice stopped the car, I opened the door for Bella and she mumbled a quiet thank you, only for me to hear. I hid my smile.

Alice saw and poked her tongue out at me. "She's with me tonight." She sneered.

'Whatever. I'm not going to fuck her, you know that.' I replied, hoping Bella wouldn't hear.

Alice snorted. 'I hope not, dear brother. But it's your nature.'

Was, I corrected her mentally, but I let it go. She would see that change in me soon.

After dinner, Alice started to move Bella's stuff into her room while we sat down on Bella's bed and watched. I couldn't believe Alice had this fiery side of her. It was hilarious. I would tease her about being too perfect and she would get mad and storm off into her room and slam her door. Yeah. It was fucking amusing. Even Jasper told her to stop the commotion.

I smirked and Bella raised her eyebrows at me.

"What?" I asked, still laughing.

"You really find that funny?" She asked, amused too.

I put my arm around her. "I've never done this to her before," I told her.

BPOV

I felt guilty for thinking it was funny when Edward pissed Alice off but it really was something. I hope she wouldn't get angry at me for siding with Edward. Not this time anyway.

As Alice was taking a shower, I felt Edward tucking the locks of my stray strands of hair behind my ear and it made me shiver. I hoped he wouldn't realize it but when I saw his smirk, I felt myself blush furiously and I let my hair fall onto my face again.

Don't do that, because then I won't be able to kiss you," he whispered.

He leaned his face towards mine for the second time and pressed his lips against mine, molding into mine again and I felt his hand cradling the left side of my face.

"Welcome home," he said, with his eyes a warm green, yet nevertheless burning into mine.

"Thank you."

He hugged me and kissed my cheek and we fell back onto my bed, laughing.

"Don't tell Alice about this." I warned him, as a teasing smile tugged playfully across his lips.

"Okay. Promise."

EPOV

The night was peaceful and quiet, and Emmett wasn't snoring, but my thoughts kept drifting to Bella and forced me to stay awake. She was sleeping just two doors down from my room, in Alice's. Weren't you supposed to stay up all night when you had a sleepover? For that, I had no idea but I had a nagging feeling they were awake, whispering and giggling about some random shit girls always did. Even in class.

I sighed and reached for my phone to check what time it was now. Fuck. It was one in the morning and I suddenly remembered that Charlie's funeral would be today, I had to attend. All of us did. But at least it was better than school. I made a mental note to thank Carlisle for letting us off for two days in a row.

I wanted Bella to sleep with me, not with Alice. I wanted to feel her soft, silky hair spread across my chest and wished I could hear her say my name, just like she did a few nights ago, in the hospital. I felt myself get hard again and groaned. She was beautiful and sexy, and I kept comparing her to the other girls I had fucked. I wanted her to say my name, scream my name while fucking her. I knew I could. Judging from Alice's clairvoyance, I was pretty sure I wasn't the only person who knew that.

Fuck, I wanted her badly, but I knew I couldn't do anything about it. If she was going to be my girl someday, I couldn't let my lust for her take over my heart.

I had to keep it simple, for her. For my girl.

BPOV

I woke up in the morning breathing in Alice's perfume. God, it made me sneeze. At least she didn't make me use her furry pink blanket last night.

I was waiting for Alice to come back from the bathroom so I could use it.

"Bella!" Alice called. "Get dressed in nice clothes. Charlie's funeral, remember?"

Oh shit. I forgot.

I groaned and got out of bed and headed into my room. There was nothing in my closet that I thought was appropriate for a funeral. Weren't you supposed to wear black over it anyway? What difference did it make? But I guessed Alice just meant not jeans and sneakers.

It was still snowing a little, so I wore a long sleeved t-shirt with a thick jacket and black pants.

We had to take Emmett's Jeep as the road was slippery and we couldn't all fit into Edward or Alice's car. I felt jittery and a little nervous, and I hoped that I would not cry.

The service was in a Lutheran church and was long and tedious. I met some relatives of mine I had never met since Charlie had never introduced them to me. There were many of my cousins, aunts, and uncles. I had no idea I had so many.

Edward was standing next to me and holding my hand.

"Are you okay?" he whispered quietly and inconspicuously.

I nodded and realized I really had tears in my eyes.

The priest was giving the blessing now and after would be the recessional. And that would be the end of it.

I rushed out the moment the orchestra put down their instruments. I really couldn't stand it if everyone told me how sorry they were for my loss because it would be bullshit. No one had an idea how I felt and it was utterly unfair for this to happen to me.

"Bella!" I heard Edward run after me but I ignored him. I needed peace and quiet. I walked over to Charlie's tombstone and started to cry openly.

I felt Edward's arms around me, and it was comforting but I struggled against him and he let go.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.
23rd Psalm

I bent down and fingered the carving of my father's epitaph. I hadn't chosen it, and I didn't know who had.. But it fit, and for that, I was glad. Charlie had told me he was a Christian, but he never went to church, unless it was Christmas or Easter.

There was a small memorial statue next to his grave, which I assumed was donated by the Forks Police Station.

In Memoriam,

Charlie Swan, Chief of Police

It was kind of them to do that, I decided, but I suddenly wished I had taken more of a part in the service. I should've written a speech or something, but I didn't. Some daughter I was.

I heard Edward's foot steps and I ran into his open arms.

"Bella?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm fine," I said, trying to control my tears.

His fingers wiped the wet trails of my tears away from my face and I sighed, relieved.

"Let's get you inside, you must be freezing."

I shook my head. "I want to stay here.' I said, 'For a while."

"Can I stay here with you?" he asked hopefully.

"Yeah, sure."

He smiled solemnly and looked at me from the corner of his eye. "You're not the first person to experience this kind of thing, Bella."

I nodded, but didn't understand.

"I don't have parents, either. Carlisle adopted me when I was nine."

"You're adopted?" I couldn't believe my ears.

Edward smiled wistfully at my father's empty grave and nodded. "I am. But Carlisle's the best thing I could ever imagine for a father."

I understood this. "Esme, too." I added.

"Esme, too," he agreed and he kissed my face. I didn't pull away and I was glad to have a thick jacket on. My heart was beating hard and fast.

Edward and I watched as my father's coffin was loaded into the hole in the ground. I gave my last farewell and walked away.

The rest of the day was quiet and I was thankful for that, everyone, including Edward, gave me space. They would only talk to me if lunch or dinner was ready. Alice was in her room and I could hear her singing to herself. And Edward…well I didn't know where he was but it didn't seem like he was home.

The following morning I got up extra early to pack my school bag, as I was weeks behind everyone. I walked to school in the freezing early mist and headed into the empty classroom, flipping through the pages of the English textbook. I had no idea where we were up to, but if the class had started reading Chaucer, then I was okay. I just hoped we wouldn't be studying poetry. I was hopeless at it.

Everyone greeted me and welcomed me back, even Jessica. I was still a little confused about her and Edward, but I had too much on my mind to bother to find out about it. It was none of my business, after all.

As I was walking towards the sciences wing, my eyes were instinctively drawn to a bronze haired boy. I realized with a sickening feeling in my stomach that Edward was hugging Jessica. I ran past them and hoped they wouldn't notice. As I sat down with my jumbled thoughts, I realized they looked perfect together. The most beautiful boy in school, with a pretty blonde girl whose legs went on for miles.

EPOV

I found Jessica standing near her locker.

"I finished the assignment," I announced to her proudly.

Her eyes widened. "Really? Thanks."

She hugged me and I didn't push her away. It was just friendship for me anyway, but a shiny color of mahogany caught my eye and I looked up and saw Bella running to her next class. The one class she had with me. Fuck.

Important Notice: The title of the story will be changing soon. The plot will not be affected but In Memoriam sounded too pathetic.

Again, a big thank you to my two betas izzzyy and milehighhopes and to all the readers and reviewers.

I'm still not sure how long this story will be, but it won't be ending any time soon.

Next update will be sometime next week or so. Reality will be tough so there might be a delay.

Please review and tell me what you think of this story, and whether or not I should continue with this.

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