Disclaimer: Thank you Stephenie Meyer for your world and to Guy Andrews for giving me the ideas to play with it. This all stems from your creativity mixed with mine.
A/N: 2 to go. Ignore the grammar, forgive the drama, and enjoy.
Return to Meyer
23. The End
The world spun around me, flashes of colour, of light, of people wearing helpless expressions. Of pain.
1…2…
The seconds ticked by, each marking the end of Edward's life.
Some words, my name maybe? A familiar voice.
This couldn't really be it, could it? The end? It wasn't meant to happen this way. Edward near died. Never became the pile of ashes that had once resembled a vampire. What would the Cullens say when they found out that their son and brother had been killed because of me. All because of me.
3…4…
It was as though I was experiencing a ranging war inside my head. On one side of the battle lines were those who told me to give up, to feel my guilt and recognise the ultimate loss I was about to experience. The other side gave reason. It told me to move. To do something to stop it. But what?
Edward's eyes were locked completely with mine. He had accepted what was about to happen. Everyone was supposed to die sometime and apparently this was his.
But there's so much pain on his face.
Wait. No. I wasn't going to let this happen. I am not helpless. I refused to stand around like a brainless twit and watch the love of my life die. There was something that could be done and only I could do it.
Not allowing myself to think through the consequences of my actions as I knew that it would only deter me, wasting what little time Edward had left, I bent down and grabbed Edward's arms. The flames lapped at my skin as I began to drag him towards a thicket of trees. They were so hot and he was so heavy.
Alice watched on completely helpless, knowing that if she used her strength to help me, she would go up in smoke too. I couldn't have that. I tugged and tugged, sweat pouring down my face at the heat while my hands blistered at the contact.
5...6…7…
With all my might I willed the doorway between worlds into existence. It was the only way to save Edward and if it failed me now, I would never be able to find the will to return home. Not without him.
I could see it now, the park, the lake. It was so close. Just one more pull.
"Ashley, what are you doing?" Jacob's human voice called out, frightened and desperate. I ignored him.
My strength had little left to give and I had begun to lose feeling in my hands, I threw everything I had left into hoisting myself through the gateway. I pulled as hard as I could, throwing my body weight backwards through the trees, taking Edward with me.
8…9…10…
As I landed, I felt the side of my body connect with a rough patch of grass. Sunlight hit my face from the sky below. It would have been peaceful were it not for the smell of burning flesh in the air. Edward's screams filled my ears, his pain more evident than before. Tears ran down my cheeks while I quickly shed my jacket and smothered him with it, at last effectively putting out the flames.
"Hold on," I pushed out past my choked up throat. His cries subsided until they became moans of pain. The fire was out but Edward was badly burnt. He needed to get to a hospital now.
The tears fell faster now as I broke down into complete sobs. "I'm so sorry Edward," I said over and over as I stroked his hair. It was the only place that I felt comfortable touching without fear of hurting him. In most places his skin was bright read, in two very small sections on his torso – one on his chest, the other his stomach – the skin was white. Third degree burns. "You'll b-be a-al-right." I stuttered.
"Ashley," Alice called through the door. She stood watching from the clearing, hurt etched into every inch of her face. Jacob stood beside her, completely bewildered as to what was going on with the doorway.
Wiping the tears away, I stood straighter on my knees. "Alice, go get Carlisle. Now!" I yelled. There was no time for pleasantries. I didn't have a phone on me to contact an ambulance and Edward needed a doctor. Carlisle was the best and the only one who would understand what was going on.
"How's he human? It's not possible," Jacob's shock registered in his voice as he remained peering through the portal. "I mean, I heard what you said about this…" he gestured around the gateway, "thing but seeing it here…"
"It's a lot more real." I supplemented. He nodded.
"But I just can't –"
I cut him off, frustrated. "Jacob, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm kind of busy at the moment. I would love to sit here and answer your questions but now isn't a good time." I snapped in exasperation. He shut up.
"Would you just take care of the vampire c-corpses please?" My voice broke on the word corpses, the idea that I'd have to use the word in a sentence not in relation to a movie or novel was shocking. I turned back to Edward.
"Hold on," I told him softly, "Carlisle's coming, Edward." He looked up at me, his expression pained.
Why was it that whenever Edward crossed over between realities someone ended up in hospital?
Edward coughed, struggling to breathe as he tried to speak. I leant in closer, "What?" I asked.
"I am not as indestructible as I believed I was." He took several deep breaths that seemed to take a lot of effort. Finally he noticed my burnt hands. I had almost forgotten about them with the amount of adrenaline running through my body and my mind so completely focused on him. "You should have just let me burn," he gasped, the extremity of his pain evident in his every word.
I laughed, revealing my stress, "Oh this?" I held up my hands. "Nah, could be worse. Haven't you seen the trailer for Vampires Suck? There's no way I was going to let you die. Team Edward fans would have come after me with shovels." The joke fell flat under the circumstances.
Slowly his head lolled to the side and his eyes shut. I began to panic. No, no, no. He can't die. These burns can't be bad enough for him to die. I removed my hand and sat back, clenching my knees to my chest and rocking slightly back and forward.
"Ashley, Edward," Carlisle's voice broke through my bubble of misery as he quickly stepped through the barrier without so much as a pause. He stopped in place for a few seconds as he appeared on the other side. He was pale by human standards and looked a little ill. His expression was somewhat shocked, as though the feelings associated with humanity were hitting him with full force all at once. I just hoped that he wasn't going to have a problem.
"Carlisle? Are you alright?" I asked, concerned. He nodded before kneeling down beside Edward. I got up and stood back, allowing them both some space.
Suddenly I was hit with a severe wave of nausea. The ground seemed as though it were moving under me and my stomach muscles clenched. I fell backwards onto the grass, breathing rapidly. In fact, I was almost hyperventilating. I glanced down at my hands, covered in blisters, burns and blood, finally taking in the extent of the damage. The sight of Edward unmoving on the ground sent my mind reeling back to memories of lying broken on the floor after James had gotten through with me, images of vampire bodies being detached from their limbs and heads, Victoria's nails slashing through my neck and skin. I doubled over and threw up on the grass, tears still pouring down my face. Again I was experiencing the human reaction to such extreme exposure to carnage, fear and pain. My body shook beneath me as my muscles groaned. The heavy breathing continued while I tried to fight the feelings of anxiety I was experiencing in the build up from everything that had gone on over the last couple of months. I was home, outside the fictional world of vampires and werewolves, but I was still terrified.
Nails, bruises, cracking marble skin, screams of pain…fire.
"Ashley?" I heard Carlisle call as he realised my distress.
I barely heard him as my eyes rolled back, I fell backwards against the grass and my world went black.
xx xxxx xx
My eyes flickered open before squinting shut again as they took in the bright fluorescent light illuminating the room. Too bright. I was lying on a hospital bed, a tray of uneaten food sitting on the retractable platform in front of me. The television in the corner was softly broadcasting the ABC news. In a chair by the wall, my dad sat watching the TV and in another beside my bed, my mum was flipping casually through a lifestyle magazine.
I groaned. Another hospital. After this, I was making a pact to never need to visit a hospital ever again.
"You're up," Dad said as he got to his feet and walked towards the bed.
"Seems so," I replied, adjusting myself under the covers. I looked down at my hands. There was an IV in one arm while both my hands were padded with enough gauze and bandages they looked like marshmallows. "Nice," I commented, holding them up.
"You have second degree burns, the bandages are necessary." Mum told me, putting the magazine down. I had a headache but aside from that, my bandaged hands and some sore muscles, I was perfectly fine. A hell of a lot better than the mess I'd been last time I was admitted. James's work.
Wait. Bandaged hands, burns, fire. Edward.
I sat up straight, my back rigid with tension. "Mum, how's Edward? Is he okay? Is he here?" I questioned rapidly. Oh god, why had I passed out? You weak little idiot. Edward was hurt and I had to go and make it all about me. I hated to think about the situation I'd placed Carlisle in with two medically needy teenagers in a country that was, to him, foreign. Not to mention he'd just become human again for the first time in centuries. Yet, here I was, sitting in hospital. So clearly things had turned out okay.
"Edward's fine. He's got second degree burns over a substantial amount of his body and a very minor amount of third degree ones. The doctors say it'll take a little while for him to heal and there will be some scarring on small sections of skin on his chest and stomach. He won't be able to feel those anymore as the fire completely damaged the nerve cells. Otherwise, there shouldn't be any lasting damage. The burns looked a lot worse than they actually were."
I sighed in relief, leaning back against the pillows. Thank god. Just a little scarring. As much as I hated the idea that parts of Edward's body had been damaged, I would rather that than him dead or, back in fictional forks, a pile of ashes.
"Can I check out soon?" I asked, eager to get out of the damn hospital bed and check on Edward.
Dad nodded, "Apart from the burns on your hands which will take about three weeks to heal, you're physically fine."
I caught his specific use of physically, a worried expression on my face. "Physically fine?" I didn't need to clarify what I meant by the question. They knew.
"From what Dr. Cullen told the doctors at the hospital about what happened before you passed out," I'd be interested to hear what story he'd made up as to our conditions. Me passed out, Edward burnt, Carlisle most likely exhausted and dehydrated. "The doctors believe that you're experiencing post traumatic stress disorder after the physical assault you experienced. They think that perhaps seeing Edward wounded reminded you of what happened and gave you a severe panic attack." Mum explained.
"Okay," I said, stunned as I tried to absorb the information. "What does that mean for the future?" No wonder I'd been an emotional wreck ever since I'd returned from Forks the first time. Bad dreams, bad grades, sadness and anxiety, there was definitely something wrong.
"They suggested that perhaps you start seeing someone,"
I bolted up again, "What?" I cried loudly.
"Not all the time, just every so often. Just so you can talk through the problems you've been having and sort them out," Mum assured me.
I laughed bitterly, "Sure, what am I going to tell them? 'Oh yeah, I was terrorised by fictional vampiric characters who beat me up and set my boyfriend on fire.' That'll go over well. I won't just have PTSD, I'll also be clinically insane!"
"Nobody's forcing you but you should think about it. It's not about recounting events. It's about dealing with the emotions behind them. We just want the best for you,"
I looked at them both, feeling the corners of my eyes begin to prickle with tears of anger. At last, I calmed down. "I know," I said softly. I sighed. "Can I have some space for a moment please?" I asked, feeling the need to have the room to myself for just a little while.
Dad nodded as the both got to their feet, mum switching off the TV as she left. "Sure. We'll go sort out the papers so you can come home with us tomorrow."
I turned to on my side and began to stare at the wall, the sound of the IV drip the only thing audible in the room. Rubbing my face into the pillow, I cleared it of any loose tears. It was here that I began to sort out my priorities and finally decided that it was time I stopped acting like a child. There would be no more tears. It was time I started to make the hard choices and took responsibility for my future.
xx xxxx xx
I walked into the burns unit of the hospital, the bottom of my jeans dragging slowly on the linoleum. Edward's room was long and consisted of three beds, one of which was empty, the other obscured by a curtain. Edward was connected to several wires including an IV. He had gauze over a substantial amount of his body but other sections appeared reasonably okay. His eyes were shut, his chest rising and falling softly.
I'd been released from hospital a few days ago but for some reason I'd found it hard to visit him, fearing what I'd find if I did. The reality wasn't great but it was so much better than the nightmare I'd kept imagining in my mind. Carlisle, sitting by the bed, looked up as I approached. He gave me a weak smile. "I should go and get something to drink. I am still becoming accustomed to my body's reawakened need for water." He told me as he left us alone. I reached out, touching my bandaged hand to the gauze covering Edward's fingers. In our white bandages, we matched.
"Hi Edward," I told him softly, aware that he was sleeping but unsure whether he could hear me. "Sorry, it's taken so long for me to get here. I'm not such a great girlfriend, huh?" I swallowed deeply before going on. "Mum and Dad want me to see a psychologist. Apparently I've got PTSD." It felt odd to say out loud but somehow I took comfort from telling him. He was the only one who could understand it all. Understand me.
"I'm looking at universities," I said, changing the topic. "I'm thinking about a bachelor of arts but I'm not sure what majors I want to do just yet. Hopefully I can pull myself together soon to get good enough marks in the HSC. Maybe you could come too and try doing something new. Get a degree you could actually use in the future." I suggested.
"That might be a nice change," I looked up from our hands into his now open green eyes and smiled. He looked exhausted and confused but somewhat reassured by my presence. "You're awake." I commented. "How are you feeling?"
He took a deep breath, "Carlisle tells me that I am on a large amount of pain medication but otherwise, I have been better." He told me truthfully.
My brows lowered, "I'm so sorry you have to go through all this."
Edward shook his head, a sudden burst of passion appearing in his eyes. "Don't ever apologize." He told me. "You saved my life. Without you, I wouldn't be here. What are a few scars compared to what could have been?" Ever the wise one, I couldn't deny his logic. Still, who could fight with anyone in his condition?
"So we're going to university are we?" He queried with a weak smile. I felt slightly heartened by his apparent liking for the idea.
I nodded then shrugged, "Why not? It's where I always planned my life ending up."
He sighed, his heart monitor skipping a beat and making a buzzing noise. I got up and walked towards his pain medication monitor, upping the dose a little in response the expressions of pain that seemed to flash across his face every few seconds.
"You get some more sleep, I know it must be weird after not needing it for almost a century." He gazed up at me groggily as the medication began to kick in.
"Yes, it is," He said, his emotions unreadable. His unburnt hand reached out to grasp my fingers, interlocking them together.
"I'll be right here," I told him. For the first time in our entire relationship, it was I that was looking after him. He needed me, not the other way around. For once, we were equals and despite the unpleasant circumstances, it felt right.
"Sleep," I whispered as I leant in and pressed my lips ever so lightly to his forehead.
"I love you," He said quietly.
"Love you too," I replied. It felt like forever since I had last used the words.
And there in the quiet of the hospital room, I sat and waited, watching over him as my human boyfriend fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.
xx xxxx xx
"So this is it, is it?" Jacob asked sadly.
We were standing in his old, red garage. In amongst the car parts, tools and scrap metal, I felt extremely out of place. Faded sunshine filed in through the open doors, revealing the familiar area that made up La Push. Jacob's lunch, a sandwich lay abandoned on the workbench.
Having needed to come back to Forks to allow the rest of the Cullens – their passports, documentation and money now all perfectly in order for their new life – to pass through from one world to the next, I'd taken advantage of my being there to say goodbye to my werewolf friend. There was about three metres distance between us, our body language mirrors of one another with crossed arms and straight backs. I partly expected a clump of tumbleweed to blow on through just to give it the full Mexican standoff look.
The side of my mouth pulled up in a sort of half smile as I lightly shook my head. "As far as the Volturi's concerned, yes, but I'm past playing by anyone else's rules." He raised an eyebrow at this comment as he shifted his weight onto his left leg, emphasising the apathy displayed in his stance. Despite this, I knew he was just the opposite.
"I'll visit," I promised truthfully. "It won't be all the time, but I will. We'll walk on the beach, or work in the garage and stuff." I suggested.
He snorted, loudly. "Ash, you hate the beach and you can't even use a wrench, let alone work on a car."
I laughed, "Okay, I guess you're right. Fine. I'll eat pizza and watch while you work on a car." We paused, the absence of conversation filling the room and bringing a sense of sadness with it.
"You gonna miss me?" He asked part playfully. I eyed him carefully, tightening my arms across my chest.
"I always miss you, Jake." As though having broken through the tension completely with these words, we both unfolded our arms and eagerly crossed the distance between us. I locked my arms around his neck while he wound his own around my waist. The warmth of his skin seeped in through my t-shirt and jeans as his body touched mine. Yes, I would miss him. He was stubborn, frustrating, pushy and arrogant but god, I loved him so damn much. Like family.
Lifting his head up from my shoulder, he roughly kissed my hair and drew back, giving me a final once over as though trying to burn me into his memory to look back on as many times as he needed to before he saw me again. "You're like the sun Jacob," I told him out of the blue.
He looked confused. "Why do you say that?"
Shrugging, I smiled. "I just thought that somebody should tell you. It was something you were supposed to hear."
"If you say so,"
There was one more thing, "And don't ever worry about losing yourself to your werewolf side. I know you think about it sometimes. I'll never happen." I reassured him without a doubt. These were things Bella should have said to him but because of me, she'd never gotten to. He deserved to hear them. They were important.
"You're an odd girl Ashley Gill," He commented with a grin.
"So I've been told," I replied with a chuckle.
Unable to resist the temptation, I headed over to his workbench and picked up the top slice of bread off his sandwich. In a few seconds flat I had squished it entirely into my mouth, enlarging my cheeks like a chipmunk's. "Something to remember me by,"
As if I could see him remembering back to the day we'd first met with our bread eating competition in Charlie's kitchen, his eyes lowered. "Don't be a stranger." he said, his voice full of hope as he turned back to his car parts.
It was with one final look at the garage, taking in the sights, smells, people and memories of fictional Forks I had at one point never known existed, that I reopened the door back home and said one last goodbye to world that had once been Stephenie Meyer's Twilight.
Not the end, but a new beginning.
A/N: As if I would really kill Edward off. That would be cruel and ridiculous but I thought it about time that their roles reversed a little. Edward cannot be the overpowering superhero all the time. A relationship is about balance and now Ashley has the chance to look after him the way he has her. Now, let me just say that the next chapter published will be the very last time you will read about Ashley. I'll get started on it right now and it should be posted very soon. Remember to review.
Next Time on Return to Meyer: At last we reach the end of Ashley's story. Resolutions are made, life is continued, dreams on track and healing from past horrors well underway.
The final chapter. Next Time.