Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Heartbreak and Healing

There is no remedy for love but to love more. - Henry David Thoreau

EPOV

Bella didn't speak to me as we entered class except for the quiet mumbling of thanks when I pulled her chair out for her. Her face was stony as I tried to come up with something to say that would make her ease up and laugh, but she kept her distance and looked away and I kept my head down, losing the battle. I felt foolish and perverted for staring at her every few minutes but I didn't fucking care. I didn't want to lose my girl.

Then Mr Banner turned off the lights and there was nothing in the whole world except for Bella and me in the dark. I tried shifting my seat closer to her without making the awful scraping sound so that she could feel the crazy electricity humming between us, and succeeded. The darkness of the room seemed to intensify the tension and she finally turned to look at me with her eyes wide, lashes ridiculously long.

Her bottom lip trembled and she looked like she was going to cry. She looked so vulnerable and fragile and I suddenly wanted to put my arms around her and hold her, making her strong again. But I couldn't.

I wasn't paying any attention to the video we were supposed to be watching, and neither was Bella. She was looking at me and her lips parted slightly, and God, she had no idea how seductive that was. I felt myself getting hard again. Fuck.

I wanted to reach out for her hand and hold it tightly, as a way of showing her I wanted her, but she suddenly shook her hair loose and hid from me again.

"No. Don't," I whispered and reached a hand over to tuck the errant locks behind her ear.

She turned towards the television screen and I could see she was smiling brilliantly, and it was so real my heart began to thud loudly.

The electricity was so concentrated and vibrant I felt like we were going to burst into flames, becoming a beacon in the dark

I looked away and tried focusing on the small television screen but by the end of the lesson, I had still no idea what the movie was about.

The bell rang, bringing me back down to reality, and Mr Banner flicked on the lights, but Bella was already gone.

Instead of going to find her, I didn't move from my desk and sat there like an idiot, trying to get my brain to function.

Staggering out of my seat, I made my way to the cafeteria, lost in my thoughts. I had no idea how to face Bella. I didn't blame her for getting annoyed after seeing me embrace another girl but I had to make this right. I needed to make this right.

Bella was sitting with Alice and my siblings, looking deeply engaged in a conversation. I rushed towards them without grabbing my lunch, as I wouldn't have appetite until this load of shit was over.

I smiled at Bella and she smiled back, but she kept her distance and my heart started to crack.

I felt like a fool, not knowing how to explain not knowing how to explain what had happened, and I felt ashamed of myself. What was I - fourteen?

"Bella?"

Her eyes snapped over to mine and she started to panic. "Yes?" she croaked.

I tried keeping my voice even. "Can I talk to you?"

She grabbed her book bag and followed me outside into the cold.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I stared. What the fuck? I was the one who was supposed to ask that. Not her. But I nodded nevertheless.

"I'm sorry," she rushed on, the words tumbling from her lips as though she had been bursting to say this. "I'm sorry for letting myself get caught up with you and Jessica. I won't bother you any longer. I'm sorry," she apologized again.

What the hell was she talking about? I stared at her, feeling as stupid as I did during Chemistry.

"Goddamit, Bella! I don't want any alone time." How could she think so little of my feelings for her? "I want to be with you."

She nodded but still kept a distance from me. What on Earth had Alice told her?

"Why are you doing this?" I asked her brokenly. I didn't want to lose her. And I was trying, but not trying hard enough it seemed. I wanted to reach out to touch her face, to comfort her like I did before this shit happened, but I was suddenly scared that she would run away from me. And never come back.

Her eyes flashed with alarm but the cool mask I hated remained. "Why am I doing what?"

I felt anger at her ignorance. This was hurting me, too. "Why aren't you talking to me? Why are you keeping a distance?"

"I thought you would want some peace."

"I have too much of that, Bella!" God, why couldn't things be like yesterday? When things between us were cool and sweet?

"God, Bella! Don't stay away from me. I need you," I admitted, feeling pathetic and small.

She smiled bitterly at me. "No, you don't. You have Jess."

"No, Bella," I said to her firmly. "I don't have Jessica. I don't want Jessica. I'm interested in someone who is smart, sweet and caring. Someone who will be willing to show her true feelings to me."

"Oh," she paled and I realized with a sickening jolt that she thought I was in love with someone else. She closed her eyes for a second. "Okay, that's fine." Her voice sounded distant and I tried not to growl in frustration. Why were these things so difficult to admit?

I tried once more. "Bella, pl—"

But she rushed away before I could say anything else. Fuck. I rubbed the back of my neck and glared at her, wondering how to make this right again. She went back into the cafeteria and slid on the surface Mike just spilt his drink on.

I rushed inside to help but she noticed me and was on her feet and running away before I could hold out my hand for her to take.

The bell rang for the next class, and I just stood in the empty cafeteria, feeling empty and like the biggest asshole on Earth.

The rest of the day went by quickly. I paid no attention to any of the teachers. I didn't even realize what we were supposed to do for homework. All I did was write a note to Bella. And fuck, was it complicated. It took all my brainpower to write this, and I hoped, for the first time, she would stop and listen to my heart pouring out to her. It was the least she could do. The rest would be up to her.

Dear Bella

I realize I may have done many things in the past that have hurt you deeply and made you shed tears, but I want to sincerely apologize. I know it's not that simple because I know, with all my heart, that one 'sorry' would not suffice for the damage I caused you, physically or mentally.

Today I tried to tell you, and I wish you'd listened. What I am saying is that I want to be with you, and this time it's my heart I'm following. I'm done with all the bullshit. I want us to move forward so I can see what needs to be done to make you happy.

I have said all this; now the rest is up to you. My heart is in your hands.

Love, Edward

I was never the type to write love-sick notes to people, and probably had never written a letter to anyone in my life before, but it was fucking necessary. If I told Emmett about my situation, he would tell me to stay the fuck away from her. If I told Alice, she would've punched me in the face and tell me I was a pile of shit. But if they did that, they were right. No one ever expected me to open my heart out and tell the complete truth. Everyone knew I would always hide something. Something that was either small or too big to think about.

As soon as we were let out of class, I rushed to my car and went home alone. I was going to slide my letter under Bella's duvet cover, which I hoped she would read before she went to sleep.

The rest of my siblings, along with Bella, would take longer to get back, and I felt a little guilty for not telling them I was leaving early, but at least they had Jasper's car.

Carlisle was still at work but I heard Esme in the kitchen cooking dinner. I made my way quietly to the stairs so she wouldn't notice.

Bella's bedroom, I realized, was plain - empty. There were no decorations, no pictures of family or boys she had dated, no nothing. It was a far cry from what I would've expected. Her bed sheets, unlike ours, were plain white. So fucking ordinary I would've thought this was the guest room.

I slid the note under her covers and left, hoping with all my might she would understand.

BPOV

I ran away before he could humiliate me anymore. I had to run away. I had no idea why he was doing this - why it was so hard to say what he wanted to say. All he had to do was speak. But he didn't and I willed myself to give him another chance.

There was no way I could face Edward now. My brain felt numb and everything seemed dream-like. I felt over-emotional and I had no idea what to do.

I had no idea what we were doing in English, as my mind was filled with Edward. I couldn't understand his response. He was in love with someone, I told myself firmly. Someone who was probably ten times prettier than Jessica. But the fact that I was falling for him was irrevocable. It couldn't be helped.

The bell finally rang for the last time that miserable day and I wandered to Alice's classroom.

"Alice?" I called across the sea of students.

"Coming!"

We got to the parking lot together with Em and Jazz.

"I'm going to fucking kill him!" I heard Emmett thunder.

I looked questioning at him and Jazz pointed to the empty space where Edward parks his car.

"So we're taking Jazz's car home?" I asked.

"Yeah." Emmett huffed.

It was cold and the snow was disappearing slowly.

He must be upset about something, I told myself. Surely Edward wasn't the sort of person who would do something without telling others, surely.

Emmett, Jasper, Rose, and Alice wanted to stop at the nearby coffee shop to warm up so I walked home alone, kicking at the fallen branches of trees.

"Bella?" Esme called when I got home.

"Hello Esme."

"Where are the others?" she asked.

I shrugged. "They wanted to get coffee at the shop down the road."

Esme smiled warmly at me. "You didn't want to join them?"

"I'm a little tired." I excused myself.

I ran up the stairs feeling extremely drowsy. I didn't want to shower so I pulled open the covers and was about to lie down before I spotted a little note that was innocently placed there.

I flipped open the note and began to read.

My eyes started tearing up and I heard footsteps. I realized with a sudden jolt that Edward had read that aloud from behind my back.

He looked awful. His hair was all over the place and he had dark circles under his eyes - something I hadn't realized before.

"Edward?" I managed to choke out.

He didn't say anything, but took my head in his hands and brushed away my tears with his thumb.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concerned.

I nodded and struggled to look down but his hands tightened and tears clouded my vision again.

"Promise me," he muttered, his eyes staring intently into mine.

"What?"

"Don't let them make you stay away from me."

I nodded. I was sure by them he meant Alice.

"I promise," I told him.

As soon we heard Alice coming up the stairs, he kissed my forehead and left me alone, but this time I didn't feel confused. He had said what he meant to say. We could be friends with benefits or nothing at all. That was the ultimatum.

Alice peeked into my room. "Bowling on Saturday?"

I nodded and smiled. "Okay."

"Why are you crying?" Shit.

"Poked myself in the eyes with a coat hanger."

Alice laughed. "Be careful!"

I sighed when she left and lay down on my bed, thinking hard, but as soon as my eyes closed, sleep overtook me.

I woke before the others did but since there was no homework, I left for school early, grabbing a muesli bar on the way out.

I wrenched open the door and was surprised to see someone waiting for me.

"Bella!" It was Angela.

"Hey Angela."

I felt a little stunned when she ran over and hugged me tightly.

"I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

I loved Angela. She was a good friend, and so was her boyfriend, Ben. I used to hang out with them a lot until I met Alice.

On Friday, Alice was jittery and cheery all through the day.

"Is Edward coming?" I asked innocently.

"Coming where?"

"Bowling tomorrow."

Alice scowled. "Yeah, because Emmett invited him."

That was a relief. Edward and I hadn't spoken to each other since Wednesday, the day he had written the note to me. I didn't know who was avoiding whom, but it seemed it was only because I was too busy with catching up with school work.

The bowling alley was packed with people but Alice had booked and reserved seats and it saved us all from waiting in line.

Edward did indeed come along with us. He wore a white shirt with a leather jacket. The whole night was fantastic and enjoyable, but what pissed me off was the crooked smile he wore for the whole night. Every time I looked at him, he was looking back. My breath would hitch and my heart would stutter. His smile made my stomach tighten and tingles run through me. I had to remind myself to breathe.

It was my turn to bowl and Edward and I were leading the score. He stood there next to me to watch.

"Thanks for the nice evening." He looked at me and grinned.

I smiled and bowled.

The rest of the night went like that. Whenever I would bowl, he would stand next to me and we would start talking.

The rest were too busy listening and laughing at Emmett's jokes to notice us.

I got a strike and everyone cheered.

Edward hugged me and nuzzled his head in my hair.

"Congratulations," he said when he pulled away, his liquid green eyes sincere.

I grinned. "Thanks."

More than once, I caught myself staring at his ass when it was his turn. At one point, he turned around and caught me, grinning wickedly. I blushed furiously and huddled next to Alice to watch him at a safer distance.

By the end of the third game, only Emmett, Rose and Jasper wanted to continue. The rest of us had had enough.

"I want to go home, Jazz!" Alice whined.

Jasper shook his head and grinned. "No way!"

"I'll take them home then," Edward said quickly, looking at us shrugging at Jasper's bemused expression. "I have to study for my exams next week."

Alice's eyes brightened up. "That's an excellent idea. See you guys later!"

The afternoon was quiet and non-productive. Alice was rearranging her room and Edward was studying for Chemistry, just like me. After an hour of listening to Alice humming and decorating my room while asking for my suggestions, I decided to take my books and ask Edward if he would like to study together.

I knocked the door quietly before entering. "Edward?"

"Yeah?" he replied.

"Can we study together? Alice is really noisy," I asked my feet.

"Sure."

I felt relieved and looked at him. He was grinning like he meant it; even I had to crack a smile.

His desk was big enough for both of us but we didn't speak to each other at all unless I had a problem with a question. I caught him staring at me a few times; it made me blush and left me unable to think clearly. Sitting next to him in close proximity made my mind go blank often, and I couldn't help glancing his way every few minutes.

I yawned unintentionally and realized it was already past midnight. "Wow. It's late."

Edward chuckled. "I know. You just seemed really focused and I didn't want to interrupt."

"So they're back now?"

Edward nodded. "Emmett, Jasper and Rose came back an hour ago but Alice was already asleep, or pretending to be. If I heard correctly, I'm pretty sure Alice and Jasper are doing their business right now in their room." There was no mistaking the evil glint in his eyes. It made me feel penetrated and boneless. And sure enough, a moan floated from across the hall and I giggled.

"Nice," I laughed openly.

Edward laughed too.

I was too tired to move and soon, my eyelids started to droop without my permission.

"Bella?" he asked.

I fluttered my eyes open in shock.

"Oh! Sorry," I mumbled in embarrassment and stood up to grab my things.

"Bella?" Edward asked again, this time closer to my face.

"Yeah?" My heart was beating erratically and I was sure he could hear it.

"Stay with me," he said.

I answered by pressing my lips to his and the electricity sparked between us again, making me more alert. He crushed his lips to mine and our tongues touched for the first time. I moaned at the contact and he brought his arms around me, pulling me closer to his body so that I could feel his erection poking me below my stomach. He lifted me to his bed and our bodies molded together as our lips parted. I whimpered as I tasted him, tasting his delicious scent that was all…him.

"You're tired," he whispered against my lips.

"I know," I sighed.

He struggled to keep his eyes opened. "Stay." His voice was slurred.

I snuggled into the comfort of his arms to show him my answer. It was heaven, his arms wrapped around me, and our legs intertwined; it felt entirely too good to be true. But he held me, and I dreamed on.

Stay with me...the story's no where near finished!

A massive thank you to izzzyy and batgirl8968 for helping me with this chapter.

Please review and tell me what you think, and whether or not you think I should continue with this.

xx