Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Up in the Air

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place.

-Emily Dickinson

EPOV

It was still early in the morning when I woke up, but fucking perfection was lying next to me- and I was pretty fucking sure it wasn't an illusion. I leaned over Bella's beautiful naked body and gave her a soft kiss on her smooth forehead and tiptoed to the bathroom, still deep in thought.

I had learnt my lesson the hard and painful way and I was going to make sure I would make Bella happy for the rest of my time with her, hopefully forever. I had never been frightened of something more than the future. It was going to be bright and brilliant for Bella and I. Despite our distances apart, I was determined to see it through. In a couple of days, she would be gone and I would have to let her go. I would have to make the most out of these two days. We didn't have the best of both worlds. Alice did. I was jealous that she got to stay with Jasper wherever she went, as they had similar interests even in high school.

Bella was going to continue to study law at Princeton and I was doing medical at Harvard. I looked over to Bella, who was still sleeping peacefully on the bed where we had talked yesterday. Really talked. She told me all her insecurities and fears: that she wasn't good enough for me, that I'll end up falling for someone else at medical school, and that she'll always be waiting for me, no matter what I decide to do. She wished her parents were still alive so they could meet me.

Her wish made me realise I hadn't introduced my parents to her officially yet, despite the fact that we had been living under the same roof for over a few months. Of course I knew Carlisle and Esme adored Bella as much as Alice did, but I was sure they didn't know about us being together. I had at least five more months until I was able to visit Bella in New Jersey and my parents ,who were still living in Forks. My birthday was in a couple of months but I decided to not make a mess of things and keep quiet about it. Bella would have no idea when my birthday would be, and I didn't want to disturb her studies by asking her to celebrate it with me.

I wanted to live the simple life. It was the life path I had chosen.

I turned the shower on, calming myself by listening to the sound of the water running. I was still lost in thought about how amazing last night was when I realized there was someone watching me by the door.

"Hey," Bella said with a sexy smile.

I grinned back. "Hey."

"Having a shower?"

I threw my shirt on the floor. "Yeah."

"Mind if I join?" Oh fuck. That sexy smirk was back. I felt myself harden and groaned.

Bella came to me and pressed her warm hands to my chest, edging lower and lower. She tugged my boxers off and pressed against my throbbing erection, looking up at me and biting her bottom lip. I slid my hand under her tiny singlet and lifted it over her head.

I growled. She wasn't wearing a bra. How could I not have noticed before?

"You'd better be wearing panties." I warned her while pulling her shorts down.

She moaned and desire overpowered me. I yanked her panties from her and threw them aside. I kissed her fervently, cupping her face roughly. Our tongues laved with each other and I carried her into the shower. Her warm breath blew against my wet skin as I pressed her into the shower wall and leaned further into her, until the tip of my cock was touching her wet entrance.

I stared into her eyes, hoping that she wanted this, too. I didn't want her to regret it, even though we had already had sex once before. I could feel my need for her overpowering me, and I realised I had never wanted someone so badly in my life. I ran my nose against her, breathing in her sweet scent.

"Tell me you're mine." I told her, forcing her to maintain eye contact with me. "Tell me this is what you want, who you want."

"I'm yours." She gasped.

I held her steady against the wet surface and rubbed the tip of my throbbing cock across her slippery slit. We both moaned at the extreme teasing and I finally pushed deep inside her. She was so fucking tight and I tilted my body forwards to let myself slide further into her.

"This feels so fucking good. So fucking good." I grunted.

"I know." Bella panted.

I worked my cock in and out of her in a wild disjointed rhythm. I couldn't believe there was anyone in the world that could make me feel more animalistic than my girl. Our cries of pleasure were hushed; but just as I was about to come, I intertwined my fingers with hers.

"Look at me." Bella whispered, her breathing ragged. "I need you to look at me."

I turned my head down and locked gazes with her. I shot deep inside her and she screamed my name with a look of pure pleasure, as she came with me. Our bodies trembled and I held her tight, my arms fasting securely around her body. She rested her head on my chest and whispered a faint 'I love you'.

"I love you, too."

I kissed her forehead and turned the shower off.

Bella grinned at me and walked out of the bathroom, showing off her every curve.

"You're so fucking beautiful."

She blushed and I watched her get dressed.

"Where're we going today?" She asked.

"I don't know," I told her truthfully, "but if I could have my way, I would want to spend the day with you in bed."

Bella laughed. "Yeah. That'll be heaven, but I think Alice wants to go shopping, again."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah, probably. There's more stuff here than in New Jersey, I guess."

"Are you going to come with us?" she questioned me. "It's okay if you don't. I know you have classes today."

"Nah. I'll come. Screw the world. You're leaving in two days and I have to make the most out of it." I said, my hearting aching already.

"Edward?" I heard Bella whisper.

"Yeah?" I answered, wondering if I had said something wrong.

"Thank you." And then she ran forward to hug me tightly.

I didn't have to ask her what she meant. We both knew things were coming to an end, even just for a short period of time, and that we were still so up in the air I was afraid to think about things happening in a few days. Everything wasn't set, but I was going to try my damnedest to make it right. Right for my girl, and me. Forever.

I looked up at the clock, and my stomach flipped nervously, while running my hand over my hair. I glanced down at Bella nervously, who was fidgeting under my strong grasp. I had a sudden urge to vomit and cry at the same time.

"Bella," I took her face in mine and breathed into her face, our noses almost touching. As I inhaled in her unique scene, I knew I could never forget it as long as I lived.

"Edward." She gave me a sad smile with tears in her eyes and held my face in her small warm hands. I leaned into her and pressed my lips onto her soft ones gently.

"You have to go now," I said throatily. Our time was up.

Bella let go of me and walked towards the check in and scanning room. She turned around just as she was about to enter and I waved my temporary good bye.

"Don't forget me." I mouthed at her and wondered if she saw me as the crowd was thickening quickly.

Bella gestured me to come towards her, and I wondered if she had forgotten anything.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my eye brows furrowing automatically, searching for any signs of distress on her beautiful features.

Bella, however, stood up on her toes and whispered in my ear. "I'll never forget you. You're burned in me forever."

I smiled back through my tears and kissed my bracelet, which I had placed on her thin wrist, and watched as she headed towards her future. I shoved my hands into the pocket of my jacket as I turned to walk away.

BPOV

These past few days had been amazing. Edward had stayed with me every single minute of my time here, and we had both enjoyed every bit of it. Alice had left the day before and I was going to leave in a few minutes.

I was looking at the ground and shuffling my feet, unable to stand the awkward silence that hanged like death in the air between us. I couldn't think coherently and kept taking large gulps of air as my head was started to swirl.

"Bella," Edward said, ignoring my stray locks of hair for the first time and cupping my face gently. As always.

My stomach was full of butterflies. Drunken butterflies, it seemed. They felt so batty. 'Edward.' I answered, blinking my tears away and I managed to smile at him. He looked distressed and I reached up to press my small hands on his face, trying to comfort him. He leaned down and molded his lips into mine. It wasn't rushed; it wasn't hurried. It was soft, sweet and passionate.

He cleared his throat and choked out, "You have to go now."

I tightened my arms around him one last time and let go of him, heading towards the check in room. I turned back to look at him once more and saw him mouth something. Don't forget me. I didn't want to answer back by shouting across the sea of people and I gestured him to come to me.

"What's wrong?" His beautiful features were pained and I didn't want to leave him in any doubt.

I stood up on the tip of my toes and whispered breathily into his ear. "I'll never forget you. You're burned in me forever." I hoped that he could hear the sincerity in my voice.

He smiled back and kissed the bracelet he had given me, which was now a part of me, and let go. I didn't want to see him walk away from me, so I headed into the room and handed my passport to the security officer.

Alice squealed in delight and surprise as I made my way back into the dormitory. "You're back!"

"Yeah. I had to come back at some point," I rolled my eyes at her.

"I thought you would want to stay there with Edward." Alice suggested innocently.

I snorted. "What about school? What about my future?"

"Edward could manage that." She replied reasonably.

I sighed. "He could. Of course, he could. But I want to become a lawyer."

"Well, I want to become the editor of Vogue or Bazaar." Alice said in a dreamy sort of voice.

I groaned, irritated by how many times she had told me this. "Why the fuck are you here then?"

"Jasper." She replied simply.

Of course.

"Well, you're just going to stick with me for a while then. C'mon, first session starts in ten minutes."

I packed my bags and left with her.

"Jasper's thinking about joining the forces." Alice said, making small talk on the way to Building C.

I stared at her. "Armed forces?"

"Yeah."

"You can't go with him then. If he decides to join, he'll probably come back a year later and only visit for a few days and then leave again. You'll have to keep in touch with him only by mail. And I mean mail, not email."

I knew a lot about the Army as Charlie had joined them while I was over with Renee in Florida. When my mother had died, Charlie had to resign and became the chief of police so that I would have someone to take care of me.

"Wow. Like in those stupid movies?" Alice breathed.

I snorted. "Yeah, I guess. But they aren't stupid. I don't even have an email account."

One month later

Where was she? I had only paid about two hours of attention to Professor Varner's lecture and when I had looked to see what Alice was doing, she was gone. I shook my head. She was never one for lectures. Or anything else apart from fashion, it seemed.

"Where the hell were you?" I snapped at Alice when I found her lying on her bed, drawing designs of dresses while humming quietly to herself.

"Got bored," she replied.

I rolled my eyes.

"You've got mail," she added, turning back to look at me.

I walked slowly to my desk and there sat a plain white envelope with the word Bella written on the front. I dropped my book satchel to the floor and picked up the letter with trembling hands; my heart hammering loudly in my chest. There was no mistaking the beautiful calligraphy. The letter was from Edward.

Dearest Bella,

I don't have as much time as I would like to write, or talk on the phone with you but I miss you more than you could possibly know. There are only four more months to go until I can come home and see your beautiful face.

I can't wait to be able to hold you tightly in my arms and kiss you, and tell you just how much I love you. I love you more than just words on this piece of paper. It just never seems to be enough.

Please write back and tell me you are okay.

Forever yours,

Edward

I walked to my bed and lay down, holding the letter and re-reading it, smiling.

It had been a month since we had parted in the airport ,and it seemed like forever since I had seen his handsome face. There were four more months to go, just like he had reminded me in his letter and I was already anticipating his return.

Please write back and tell me you are okay, he had written.

I felt a tear slide down my face and I wiped it away with my hand before it could reach the precious letter I was holding. I walked into my closet and flipped open our graduation photo book and stared into his joyful green eyes and his smile. There was nothing in the world that was more perfect than he was.

"Do you have a piece of paper somewhere?" I asked Alice.

"In my drawer," she replied.

I placed the paper on my desk and reached for my pen and began to write.

EPOV

"What is it?" I asked Emmett, annoyed by the impish grin planted right across his face.

"I proposed." He said, still grinning like a five year old kid on Christmas morning. "And Rose said yes."

My eye brows shot up. "She said yes?" I shook my head in disbelief. "What the fuck did you do to trick her into that?"

Emmett laughed. "Yeah ,bro. Aren't you gonna congratulate me or my ass?"

I shook my head and grinned at him. "Nope. Not even your dick, bitch. I bet that's the best feature of you and that's why Rose agreed."

"Nope. She loves me, dear brother. And I love her." He walked into my kitchen and began to raid my fridge.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?"

"You honestly don't have any ice cream in your house, do you?" He stared at me in disbelief.

"Why would I?" I growled at him.

Emmett sighed. "Edward. When's the last time you spoke to Bella?"

It was my turn to sigh. "I don't know. And don't you fucking dare ask me to call her now. She's tired."

"Look. It's only four more months, and then you can see her again. How long is four months anyway?"

I think he meant that to be a rhetorical question. "It depends. Four months of heaven and four months of hell are two entirely different things."

My half brother plopped onto my couch and flipped through the channels while eating a bagel that was hooked on his ring finger. "Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?"

"What if she changes her mind, Em?" I whispered softly and felt my heart aching again, still looking down as I voiced out my biggest fear aloud. I'd heard and read so many stories about life in universities, and how it was where most people found love- true love. She would still be my Bella, but would I mean the same to her as she meant to me? Would I fly all the way to New Jersey to find her happy and introducing me to a man she loved? I wasn't sure, and I hated this doubt I was having. I was supposed to trust Bella. In my heart, I knew I did, but things were never this simple. If both of us were happy right now, we would be together, not apart.

"Edward, stop this shit and stop trying to doubt yourself. She's Bella, your best friend, your girlfriend, and she loves you," Emmett groaned, switching off the television and turning around to glare at me. "What part of 'I love you' don't you understand?"

"Things can change." I said, biting my lip- a habit I had picked up from Bella when she was nervous.

"Look. You sent the letter and she will reply. If you don't get anything in five days, you can pick a gun and shoot me."

'I'll be holding you to that,' I warned him, half joking, half angry that he dared risk his own life. Of course, I wasn't going to shoot him. He was like a brother to me. He is my brother, and has been since I was two. But I had always held the weight of the world on my shoulders, and he was the one who only studied the night before the exam, so carefree and jubilant. All the time. And now he had gotten his forever with Rose, which was going to be the second proposal since Ben, my roommate. I didn't know how to shake off the awful feeling and start being happy like Emmett. It just wasn't me. I was always uptight, and hardly ever free. If I was to be truthful to myself, the only times I felt the weight lifted from my chest was when I was with Bella. With Bella, everything was much easier and felt like everything was clear, which was what truly being in love had taught me.

Three days later

'Edward!' Professor Richardson called, bringing me back to reality.

'Sorry, sir,' I muttered, flipping open my textbook to the right page and looked down, pretending I was reading but in fact I was wondering if I would receive Bella's letter today. My knee bounced and Tanya shot me a dirty look. She had never quite forgiven me ever since she realised I still harboured deep feelings for Bella when I had run out of the library. But the truth was there was nothing to forgive.

I looked up at the clock and started counting down the seconds.

Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…And then I was out of my seat.

Two more fucking days of this routine would drive me crazy.

I arrived at the doorstep just as I saw the postman arrive, and skidded to a stop.

"Sir, is there anything there for me?" I panted.

The postman looked surprised by being addressed directly and he nodded. "Mr Cullen?"

"Yes, that's me."

He looked through the letters in his hand and handed one to me. "Good evening."

I smiled back. "Good evening."

My heart pounded as I rushed to the fifth floor. I fingered the scrawl of the name Edward on the front of the envelope. It had to be from Bella. There was no mistaking the handwriting. I peeled the adhesive off carefully and pulled out the letter gently. I went into my room and locked the door behind me and went to lie on my bed.

Dear Edward,

Thank you so much for your letter. The absence of your arms around mine, your kisses, and your love has taken half of me away with you, in more ways than you could ever imagine.

There was always one thing I struggled to understand ever since we had been together. How do you tell someone just how much they mean to you? Is it possible to express that kind of love and devotion so that person would never have to question and doubt again?

I wouldn't know. I am so new with this foreign feeling. And what scares me about that feeling is how it consumes me- completely and entirely; my body shakes with it.

I wished we lived in a world where things were simpler, where one plus one does equal two. I wish I had studied harder at school, and gained high enough scores that going to Harvard with you would be possible. I want you to understand that no matter where you are, no matter if you are on the other side of the world, I will be waiting for you. Waiting forever for you to come back.

I heard about Rose and Em's news, and their happiness. I wish it would be like that one day for us. But if you can't love me the same in that way, I understand. I really, truly understand. All I want is you to be happy. When you're happy, I'll be happy, no matter what it takes. Take the weight off your shoulders and listen to me. I will be here waiting for you. I know you may not come back, and that is okay. You have your future.

I am trying my hardest at Princeton, and mastering everything I can possibly manage. I have just received an honors award and may graduate sooner than I thought it was possible. I want to be enough for you, smart enough for you, to be as successful as you.

With all my heart and love,

I love you,

Bella

I reread the letter about a hundred times, my smile getting wider and wider. She wants me. She was waiting for me. I had never had a girl chase me like that before. Those girls who had just wanted me for sex had all given up and left me once they knew I was going to move to New York. But, Bella was different. Different because she wasn't one of them. She was my girl, and was going to my girl forever. Nothing about that was going to change- I was going to make sure of it.

I jumped off my bed and switched on my desk lamp. With shaking fingers, I began to write again.

It took me double the length of time to write this letter than my first one. There was a lot I had to write. I had to tell her what her absence was doing to me. But, my most important point was to tell her how proud I was of her. She was smart, and possibly way brighter than me; so I had to convince her she could always reach for the stars, and would reach them eventually. I had to mention her insecurities, and how similar they were to mine. I could be turning into a woman, but it didn't matter. All that mattered would be the effect.

I was surprised she had mentioned Emmett's proposal. What did she mean- that it would be like that one day for us? Did she want that? My heart pounded hard in my chest as I envisioned her in a wedding dress as I kissed her softly in front of a crowd, in front of my proud parents, Carlisle and Esme. It wasn't like it was the first time I had thought about proposing to her, but I knew I wouldn't be able to do it just yet. Bella hasn't even officially met my parents yet, never mind anything else.

Was Bella feeling insignificant because I was going to med school and mix with girls? I shook my head at her naïve thoughts. We have been through the same thing. We both didn't have parents in real life. How did I not realize how insecure she felt sometimes? I had some nailing to do. To make sure my girl never doubted me again in her life.

I folded the paper gently, creased it carefully in the middle, and placed the letter in an envelope, sealing it.

It was the middle of the night by now, so I would send my letter to Bella in the morning. It was a good thing I didn't have a class then.

My phone rang and I picked it up, wondering who would be calling me in the dead of the night.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Edward?" Oh, God. It was Bella.

"Bella? Bella, love? Is that you?" I couldn't believe my ears.

"It's me." She replied, giggling.

"What are you doing waking up so early?"

"Something like that. I just…I miss you." She lowered her voice and my heart sank.

"Baby, I miss you, too." I said. "I wish I was holding you right now. You always fall asleep when I'm lying next to you."

"I know." And then she sighed. "Today's Valentine's Day. And you know…I just want to wish you well with your friends."

Oh. My. God. I had completely forgotten about Valentine's Day. "Bella, love. I'm so sorry I'm not going to be there to celebrate with you. I completely forgot." I felt so bad about it. Was she expecting something from me? My stomach did a back flip at that thought.

"It's okay, Edward." She soothed me.

"It's not okay, Bella. I just can't believe it." I had been a complete ass. What if she decided to spend it with one of her friends - Jacob for instance?

"And I'm not celebrating with anyone else, so don't even start it." She warned, teasingly.

"You read my mind."

"It's a good thing we think alike." She said thoughtfully.

"I know. And how many days 'til we see each other again?" I asked.

"Just less than a hundred now…I think." She replied sadly.

I sighed.

It was going to be a very long few months.

Many hugs and kisses to my betas robbsweetangeland ruthperk.

Thank you to all the readers and reviewers – I love you all madly. Sorry if I haven't replied to you for reviewing but I've been a little busy this week.

xx