Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, and no copyright infringement is intended. The original content, ideas and intellectual property of this story is owned by FrEeZeGiRL8000 (2010).

Fear and Pride

'Everything you can imagine is real'- Pablo Picasso

BPOV

I woke up the day after Edward's birthday, my lips still tingling with the memory of his passionate kisses. Last night was the best evening of my life. I was pretty sure it was Emmett who had finished it all by himself, but I didn't care. All that mattered was that I was finally back here with Edward.

Except that there was a letter lying next to me instead of his glorious body.

Dear Bella

I have just gone to the shops in the city to get breakfast. Don't panic and stay in the apartment. I don't want you to get lost.

Love, Edward

I smiled and placed the letter on his desk. It was a good thing he was getting breakfast because there was nothing in his fridge apart from a couple of beers and vodka. I sighed. I needed to make sure he was feeding himself and being healthy again before I left or he would end up skin and bone. With nothing to do, I decided to turn on the TV and flip through the channels aimlessly, waiting for Edward to come back or Alice to text me.

Where are you? I texted Alice, prompting her to start gushing about whatever she felt like talking about.

When I looked down again during the ads, there was another alert.

Shopping with Esme and Jazz. I'll get you some new clothes later. Sorry for not telling you. I thought you were asleep or you could've come, too. This place is so big and so frickin' awesome I wanna scream out loud. Love Alice x

I groaned. Of course there would be more varieties of shops with more clothes and Alice would be just ecstatic. I was sure the reason she came here with me was not because she wanted to celebrate Edward's birthday- I doubted she missed him at all, but it was because of her love of shopping and fashion. It was completely ridiculous.

I jumped off the couch when I heard a loud knock on the door. Edward couldn't possibly be back so fast, but there was no one that would want to see him so early in the morning, I decided to answer the door.

My hand flew to my mouth in horror and surprise. More horror than surprise. "Tanya?"

"Ow." she groaned, stumbling through the doors, ignoring me while rubbing her ankles. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I…I'm visiting Edward. It was his birthday yesterday," I replied hastily, seeing suspicion clouding her eyes.

"And how come he didn't invite me?" she snapped. "Never mind. Just tell me where the fuck he is."

I sighed. "Why don't you come in?" I thought it was a nice thing to ask.

"No, thanks. I still remember you, Bella Swan. Always the stupid nerdy sidekick of Edward's sister." She said, brushing back her blonde hair and straightening her clothes. Designer no doubt, I thought.

I was stunned and had no idea what to say so I just waited. Waited for Edward to come back and waited for Tanya to start speaking.

"Let me tell you something," she said, her voice like shrapnel. A chill ran down my spine and I was scared of what she was going to do. Edward wasn't here to defend me. Be strong, Bella.

"Edward doesn't love you, you got that?" she suddenly whispered deadly against my face, pressing her sharp and high stiletto heels into my stomach, pinning me to the wall so tightly I couldn't even gasp out in pain. It was a pain I had never endured before, despite being in many accidents including the one where my mother was killed. "And fuck, you might believe he does but he's such a good actor, isn't he? He's not afraid to hide his true feelings and all those letters were lies."

Oh my God. How did she find out about the letters? I struggled against her and felt a hot sharp stab in my stomach and saw bright red stains appearing on my white t-shirt. Crap.

I gasped in pain and stared at Tanya's smirk with horror. She was going to kill me.

"How…how did you –" I stuttered, while taking deep breaths. I was going to faint. I could feel it.

Tanya backed away from me and laughed loudly, her voice echoing down the hallway. "How did I find out about those damn letters? Because he was once my customer at the post office and he didn't realise it was me behind the fucking counter. I could probably fucking disguise myself so well, even my friends wouldn't recognize me. You want to know why you didn't get another reply? Because I took his letter, and I read what he wrote."

Tanya was now looking at me maliciously and I was cringing and edging back towards the sofa now, using all the energy I had left. Don't believe her, Bella, I told myself firmly. All she wants is Edward.

"Get out," I said firmly yet weakly and I had no idea what possessed me to say it. Black spots were appearing in my eyes and I opened them wider, forcing myself not to blackout so quickly. "You have no business to being here."

Tanya backed out the door. "You know nothing about Edward, you got me?" she seethed and pushed me to the ground. Hard. "Nothing. You don't know how he loves me and wants me more than anything in the world. We spent Valentine's Day together in the very room you slept in last night."

I closed my eyes and was trying very hard to ignore her. I crossed my fingers together and prayed that Edward would come back sooner. I was sure there was a lot of blood on my shirt by now and I was beginning to feel extremely nauseous.

"Tanya!" My eyes flew open as soon as I heard Edward's voice and footsteps. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Just talking to Bella," she replied innocently. "What a sweet girl she is, isn't she, Edward?"

I saw Edward look over her and I covered my stomach with my hands. He didn't have to deal with this. I was the one who opened the damn door in the first place.

He looked concerned and ran towards me. "Bella?"

I cowered from Tanya's smug grin. "I'm fine," I managed to gasp out, but Edward didn't buy it. His eyes travelled from my pale, sick face to my hands and his eyes narrowed – with defined anger. Edward's anger only made me feel worse. More black spots were appearing in my vision and I was terrified of what was going to happen.

"Take your hands away, Bella," he said slowly and evenly, but I could hear something dangerous brewing behind his calm façade. "Both of them."

I shook my head furiously and I prayed that I wouldn't cry in front of Tanya. "N-n-nnoo," I stuttered.

He disregarded my plea and slowly pried my hands away from my stomach. I looked at him in terror, not wanting to see the bloody wounds.

I thought I had seen Edward angry before, but it was nothing compared to this. His body shook with fury and he turned his eyes towards Tanya. Her smug smile slid off her face and it was replaced with shock.

"Edward, honey," Tanya started. "It's just a little blood. You can just give her band aids. She'll be fine. You know how easily she trips and bleeds."

"Tanya," I heard Edward growl. "Get the fuck away from here. Get the fuck away from my family and get the fuck away from my girl."

I closed my eyes, finally letting the terrifying blackness engulf me, but I could still hear Tanya's voice in the background.

"It was an accident, Edward!" she whined. "And she's not even crying so it probably doesn't hurt that much."

"Who said that if you don't cry, it means it doesn't hurt?" he roared at her. "Do you know that I'm hurting as well? Did you know that if you hurt her, you're hurting me, too? And am I fucking crying? No!"

"But…"

"What if she has internal bleeding?" his eyes flashed dangerously as he spat at Tanya. "Yeah. I guess you're just some kind of fucked up intelligent and supernatural surgeon who could manage to place band aids to her vital organs, right?"

I opened my eyes and looked at Edward. I didn't understand why he had tear stains on his cheeks, or why he was calling Emmett, but really, my skin was broken; of course it was bleeding. But how much worse could it get? I had no idea.

"Emmett," I heard Edward say. "Get here now and don't let Tanya run away. I have to take Bella to the hospital. Then I'll deal with the bitch."

There was a short reply.

"Ask me later. Just do what I said. Or ask Jasper. Anyone I can trust. Quickly. I need to get Bella to the hospital immediately. She's in pain." he said hopelessly.

I yearned to comfort him, to hug him tightly and tell him to calm down, but I was losing focus on reality and I could feel myself slipping. If I let go, I would fall into the darkness, but for Edward, for Alice, I held on. Just breathing in and out. Slowly.

"Edward…" I gasped, tears clouding my already blurry dark vision.

"Bella, shhhh. Don't talk. I'm here and you're going to be fine. Whenever I'm with you, you'll be fine," He promised and I could feel him lift me up from the corner of the wall.

I had hardly any energy left and I could smell my blood saturating the air. I hadn't eaten since yesterday at noon and I felt terribly weak and I was falling.

I could hear the ambulance beeping, the paramedics talking, and worst of all; I could feel Edward's tears falling lightly on my face. Edward was sobbing and I couldn't bear to let him be hurt, by me or anyone else. I summoned up all my strength and courage and managed to place my hand on his face, wiping away his tears but then I felt my arm drop as I was just about to caress his trembling lips.

I was spent.

The last thing I saw was Edward.

The last thing I heard was Edward.

And then I fell infinitely into the darkness.

I had lost.

EPOV

No, this could not be happening. Dear God, please tell me this was not happening. Please tell me this was not happening. Bella had just collapsed in my arms and I wasn't sure how I would manage to get her down fast enough.

I heard several footsteps and felt someone place their hand on my shoulders. "Son, let me help you."

"Dad, I can do this. Stay with Tanya and I'll deal with her later." Once I knew Bella would be okay, and living and breathing, I could deal with the bitch.

"Okay. But we'll deal with it later. Are you sure it was her who did this to Bella?" he asked.

"It was definitely her," I replied shortly and raced to the elevator. This wasn't the time to be angry at Tanya. I would keep my anger in check and release it onto Tanya later. But this wasn't the time. Bella was hurt, and it was all my fault.

By the time I got my girl onto the stretcher, I was physically shaking from head to foot. Both from anger or grief, I had no idea and I didn't fucking care. I looked at Bella's peaceful expression and started to sob openly. What had she done to deserve this?

The blood was not clotting quickly enough and just seconds later I could see a little red seeping through the linen.

Dear God, no. Please don't let this be happening, I prayed. Bella's a strong woman.

I had no time to be angry with Tanya even though I really wanted to be. Bella was my first priority and Tanya, who had targeted her for a while, had got her at last and I felt wretched for letting this happen. All I wanted was for Bella to be okay, and I was scared shitless that she wasn't going to wake up when we got there.

"Unresponsive. Get that girl to the room," I heard a nurse shout. "Pulse ox and BP are dropping. Abdomen may be rigid. We need a fucking ultrasound as soon as she's conscious."

"Not the ER, you slow motherfucker!" another nurse yelled back. "Get her to Trauma, now!"

My feet were glued to the ground and my eyes never left the floor as all the commotion whirled around me. I still couldn't get my brain to function.

"Edward, you alright man?" I heard one of Carlisle's friends at the hospital ask me. "You're a little pale."

I managed a small smile. "I'm great, thanks. Just a little shocked."

Dr. Bannon nodded at Bella being unloaded and carried into the hospital. "Your girl?"

"Yes, sir," I answered glumly.

"Anything else?" he asked me, observing my troubled face.

"Do a quick round check up on her. I'm sure she doesn't need scans but get her on the ventilator first to make sure she's in stable condition," I rushed, racking my brain as I went along. "If she needs surgery, keep her sedated for a while, because I know she's in pain. There was a lot of blood…" I sounded off.

Dr. Bannon nodded and patted me on the back. "Good thing she has you around."

I clenched my fist tightly as I watched Bella disappear from my sight into a private room.

Loud footsteps came from the entrance and I turned around quickly.

"Edward! Where's Bella? Is she okay?" Emmett asked, rushing towards me.

I nodded numbly. "I don't know, really. I can't believe this happened! Fuck Tanya."

"Do you know how far the bitch's heels got in?"

My whole body shook and felt like my head would explode into a million pieces.

I couldn't answer.

"Let's wait for news in the waiting room, 'kay?" Emmett said softly.

"I can't just stay here and do nothing," I said in anguish and hung my head in my hands. "This is what I was trained for, to become someone who could help others. I need to help Bella."

But just as I was about to stand up, I felt Emmett's arms slam across my chest.

"What the fuck, man?" I snarled, rubbing where he had hit, which would obviously become a big bruise.

"No, Edward. Are you out of your fucking mind? You've never done anything like this before, okay? It's not textbook style and Bella is not going to be your experiment. It's Bella, remember? What happens if you freeze up?" He put his hand on my chest and pushed me back down on the seat.

I closed my eyes, not knowing what it was I was feeling.

Why would Tanya do anything like this? Did she really hate Bella that much? Did she hate me that much to hurt me?

I wanted to scream at her and fucking kill her, but I felt weak and not able to handle this situation. I needed to be strong for Bella. She was in serious condition and I was sure she wasn't going to be discharged today, knowing the type of shoes Tanya wore.

Why was this happening to Bella? What did Bella do to deserve all this? Bella was good. Good and pure. She needed a guardian angel to protect her from all the bad and I was trying my damnedest to make sure of it after what happened today. She had already lost her mother, her father, and had almost died because of depression and bulimia. But she still had me, I thought desperately through my tears. It was true. She still had me, and I would always be with her, whenever she wanted.

"Edward, doc's comin' out," Emmett muttered, pulling me out of my dismal reverie.

There was a commotion and the door opened. I couldn't see Bella behind the pale blue curtains but I stood up and rushed towards Dr. Bannon.

"Is she okay?" I asked brokenly, my voice hoarse. "Can I see her?"

He turned his sad blue eyes to mine and sighed. "I'm not sure yet about her condition, the doctors are still trying. We've ordered coagulants to ease the blood flow and then we'll be able to know more about the extent of her injuries."

I knew that she was still in grave condition and I started to shake again. "I need to see her," I told him firmly. Just a place. Just a peek. I needed to know the expression on her face. Was she in pain? Was she in shock? And most importantly, would she hate me for this?

Dr. Bannon shook his head. "As soon as I know her condition, you can."

Emmett put his hand on my shoulders and I shook it off. My knees gave out and I sank to the floor. For once, I didn't care who was looking at me.

"Emmett," I sobbed softly. "Please tell me this isn't happening. Tell me this isn't happening."

Bella was so soft and didn't know how to defend herself at all. God, what had she done to become like this? I hope it wasn't for my sake. That it wasn't punishment for me. I would trade places with her any day. I would trade places with her right now, even.

"Edward, she's going to be okay. I can feel it." He held his hand out to me and lifted me onto a chair. "You'll see."

I pulled out my cell phone and dialled Alice's number.

"Hi, Edward," Alice answered immediately.

"Alice…" I gulped as a fresh wave of tears engulfed me.

"Edward! Is something wrong? Did something happen to Bella? Why didn't she answer my texts?" her voice was alarmed.

"Tanya got to Bella and I know you're mad at me for not preventing this but I had no idea she knew Bella was coming. I'm going crazy and the doctors are still trying to work out exactly where she got injured. Please just come."

"Oh no, Edward. Esme and I are on our way, but don't do anything rash, okay? Stay calm and keep strong. Bella needs you and she's lucky to have you."

"Thank you, Alice." I said gratefully. "Thank you for finally trusting me with Bella."

"You love her, we all can tell. She was desperate to be back by your side and you won't regret it after this accident, Edward."

I couldn't get any words out and the phone slipped from my hands.

"Hey, Alice!" Emmett's booming voice echoed out, startling several people. "Yeah, I know. He isn't handling it too well. Don't forget to pick up a chocolate latté for me on the way."

He chuckled and threw the phone at me.

"Fuck off," I groaned and slapped his hand away.

"Edward Cullen?" A deep voice sounded out.

It was Dr. Black.

"Yes, sir?"

"You can go into the ICU now, but remember to remain silent."

I jumped up but found Emmett still sitting. "Em? You coming?"

"Later," he winked. "I think you need some private moments."

Sometimes I loved my brother.

The door was opened by a nurse so that I wouldn't get my hands dirty and I braced myself for what I was about to see.

There was an IV connected to her and a ventilator which was monitoring her every heart beat. Her stomach was severely swollen and bandaged, with a few wires and machines beeping. She had a peaceful expression on her face which showed no sign that she was going to wake up.

"She should be waking up in an hour or so," Dr. Black said in his deep voice, though unnaturally soft. "We sedated her and she's on a few meds, just like you requested. Your father must be proud of you."

I nodded but kept my eyes on Bella. "What if she doesn't regain consciousness in an hour?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"If she doesn't in about a few hours time, she'll be sent back into the operation room for more O neg and transfusions. We're going to change her bandages every half an hour."

"Okay," It was all I could manage at the moment.

"Her organs should definitely be okay even though her abdomen was rigid before. The ultrasound showed fluid and I was sure she's been in this sort of accident before. A car crash perhaps? Thank God a splenectomy wasn't required. I could tell she had a perforated bowel before."

It took me a while to register this new information. It wasn't anything textbook and even though I was going to hopefully graduate with Summa Cum Laude in a year or so, it still confused me. There were terms I was able to recognise, but I only knew them individually. What would happen to Bella when all of the bad came together as a package? I didn't know.

Dr. Black drew up the curtains and left me to have some alone time with Bella.

"Bella," I whispered, my heart aching. "I'm so sorry for not being there when you needed me. Please wake up soon."

She was still drug induced and probably didn't hear my words but I didn't care. I needed to let it out. There may be a chance she could hear. I tentatively reached my hand over her face and moved her soft strands of hair away but kept my hand to her cheeks.

"I'll make it up to you," I promised my girl, "I'll do whatever it'll take to make you happy again and you won't be threatened. If it means that I have to leave Harvard, I will. We'll stay together."

I watched her closely, hoping for signs of reaction to my words. "I love you more than anything else in the world. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I know you're angry with me after what you've done and what happened, but please give me another chance. Please…just come back to me. That's all I'll ever ask for."

Something glistened on Bella's cheek and I narrowed my eyes, stunned. It was a tear, glistening on her pale cheek.

"Bella?" I asked softly, my heart beating fast. "Bella?' Bella, love, can you hear me?"

I squeezed her hand tightly and knelt beside her and heard her take a deep breath.

"Bella, please don't leave me. I need you so much. Please come back to me. Please."

"eh-e-Edward?" she croaked.

My head instantly snapped up and I found her waking up slowly, with pain reflecting in her beautiful brown eyes.

"Bella? Are you hurting?" I asked, my hands fluttering around uselessly.

She shook her head. 'I'm fine. The nurse said there was just going to be a big bruise on my stomach.'

"I'm so sorry, Bella," I said. Sorry wasn't enough, but I didn't know how to phrase it in another way.

Her eyes became confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Aren't you…aren't you mad at me, sweetheart?"

"No! Why would I be?" Bella looked at me shocked.

"For not being there for you when you needed me. I'm so sorry for that. And now you're in the fucking hospital because of me…" I gritted my teeth as my eyes burned with unfallen tears.

"Hey, I'm fine," Her hand reached for my face and I didn't flinch; I craved her touch more than ever right now. "I'm okay and I'll be discharged in a few days."

"Don't leave me," I begged her. Now that she was so close to me, I wasn't sure how I was going to say goodbye again.

Bella sighed. "What would I do then? My exam results are coming out in a week or so and I'm not sure what to do yet."

"You're going to be amazing with whatever you do in life," I said earnestly, moving forward and kissing her on the forehead. "You're amazing."

She shrugged and gasped in pain.

"Bella?" I asked immediately. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Nothing. Just hurts a bit."

"Are you hungry?"

"Nah." And then she shook her head and winced again. "Damn. I can't move my body at all."

"I'm so sorry," I hung my head again.

"S'okay, Edward. Like I said give it a few days, then I'll beable to go back to college with Alice again."

I felt my stomach drop. "Don't leave, Bella. I'll do anything. I can't stand it not knowing if you're safe."

"It's just one more year, Edward."

"A year of hell is different from a year of heaven," I quoted her.

She smiled weakly. "Hey, that's my line! Who told you that?"

"Alice."

And then we grinned knowingly. I didn't want to laugh in case she joined in, as it was going to hurt her stomach.

"Edward Cullen?" Dr. Black came back again.

'Yes, sir?'

"We're just going to change the bandage and see if there's anything wrong, okay? No sweat."

"Would I be able to stay here?"

"Sure. Say, would you like to try for yourself?"

I would die for any roles in the hospital, even though it was just a small one. "Sure," I smiled and watched Bella smile back. I grabbed the bandage from the trolley and watched Dr. Black lift Bella into a sitting position and carefully unwrap her bloodied bandage. The wound was awful and I didn't know how Bella managed to endure the pain. She was a survivor – the bravest one I had ever known.

After I finished coiling the bandage around Bella's thin waist and hip, the doctor left us alone again and I placed Bella carefully back into bed.

Bella grinned. "Thank you, Edward."

"No problem."

"Dr. Cullen," she whispered and winked at me.

I grinned at her, despite the heavy heart I was still carrying.

I finally felt like the person Carlisle and Esme had raised me to be.

Caring, loving, determined.

Just like my girl Bella.

I could never thank her enough.

Thanks to the people over at PTB, especially TwilightHeart21 and wvvampire for being wonderful betas.

Thanks to all the readers and reviewers.

xx