16

"Morning, Mrs. Micelli," Tony said.

"Mmmmm, that sounds wonderful, Tony," Angela murmured, still half asleep.

"You're wonderful, my beautiful bride. I hope our wedding night lived up to your imagination and met all your needs."

Angela stretched out and relaxed. "Uh, well..."

"You sure look as if it was okay."

With a great deal of satisfaction Tony noticed the way Angela's eyes were beaming and her face was glowing. She smiled at her husband, then closed her eyes and indulged in last night's reminiscences.

"I'd call it more than okay, Tony. It was mind-blowing." She inhaled deeply and let the air out with a deep, appreciative sigh. "You've been an attentive lover all these years, but last night was...it simply was...over-whelming. I didn't know something like this was possible. You pushed buttons I didn't even know I had."

"It was our wedding night, Baby, it had to be special. I wanted it to be like a first time for us."

Angela giggled.

"What?"

"If I think back to our real first time..." she trailed off.

Tony chuckled. "Yeah, that was special! But I promised you'd get another first time."

"One that lasted longer than 15 minutes, you mean?"

"It wasn't only me who rushed things!" Tony felt the need to point out.

"No, that's true. God, I wanted you so badly back then!" Angela admitted.

"Back then? Like in 'back then but not anymore'?"

"Silly!"

Angela snuggled up to him. She was completely at peace with the world and herself. Life was simply perfect as it was. If it could only stay like this forever. She knew that it was a childish wish. Of course, there would be days they faced problems and difficulties. Life wasn't a fairytale, even if it felt like one at the moment. But of one thing she was certain: Tony would never leave her alone again, they would always be together, coping with the trials of life as a pair. This certainty gave her strength and confidence in a way she had never experienced before.

"So, how was your first wedding night?" Tony couldn't keep himself from asking, although he knew it was a bit ridiculous to ask her about it. But he was curious. Michael might have been a lousy husband, but probably not such a lousy lover. Angela had told him that they had been hot-blooded, unable to wait with sex until they were married. And he hadn't forgotten her bright face in the morning after she had slept with him on their mission to save their marriage.

"I didn't have any."

"What? Are you pulling my leg?"

Angela sighed. She had been a very disappointed bride. The whole wedding had been rather an ordeal than a pleasure. They had paid so much attention to conform to etiquette, to make everything right, that they had forgotten what it was all about. Michael and she had been in love, just like Tony and she were now, although it had been a different kind of love. But looking back, especially comparing her first wedding to her second, she had to admit that none of them had understood that with caring so much about matters as if the wedding dress was right or the invitation list complete, their relationship had fallen by the wayside. That might have been the reason why the wedding night also hadn't turned out to be what Angela had always imagined and dreamed of as a teenager.

"This wedding was physically so demanding. I had got up at 6 in the morning, had gone to the hair stylist first, then to the wedding dress designer."

"Wait a minute! You got your wedding dress designed especially for you?"

"Well, sure! It was the custom in these days."

"You mean within your circle of people."

"Probably. Anyway, it was a wonderful dress. I felt like Cinderella."

"I bet you looked stunning. But the way you looked yesterday...boy, I almost dropped dead when I saw you walking down the aisle!"

"Thank you! Mother and I hoped you'd like it."

"Like it? It took my breath away! You took my breath away actually, not the dress. Even if you had walked down the aisle in rags, you would've looked gorgeous."

Angela smiled and snuggled up a little closer.

"So, what happened to your wedding night with Michael?"

"He didn't show up."

"I beg your pardon?"

"He didn't show up!"

"What do you mean? Where was he?"

"Well, as I said, the day had been long and tiring, and at one point late at night, I was through. All I wanted was to get out of that dress, which was beautiful but not very comfortable. And my feet hurt so much from dancing. I think I had to dance with every man present at this wedding, except my husband. Other than this stupid Vienesse waltz we didn't dance at all, because we simply never got together. Michael had been besieged by all these elderly women with husbands listless to dance. He was a good dancer, not many men are good dancers."

"I am!"

"Yes, Sweetheart, you are."

"And the only woman I danced with yesterday was you!"

"Yes."

"But let's go back to your wedding night. Michael didn't show up, you said. I can't believe it! What did he do instead?"

Angela sighed. "At a certain point I just couldn't go on anymore. I was so tired and exhausted that I only wanted to go to bed. I told Michael. He was sitting at the bar with some of his college buddies, and they were making fun of him, teasing him with the husbandly duties he had to perform to satisfy his wanting wife. Ugh, they were so immature and disgusting."

"He let his friends talk him out of his wedding night? What a wimp! Well, it was his loss!"

"Well, mine too, in a way." She let out another sigh. "He promised to follow me soon, all he wanted was to finish his drink. I waited for him in our honeymoon suite in my wedding dress. In my fantasies, I had pictured him taking it off, driven by his longing for me. I had bought lingerie for that occasion. But eventually, I was sick of waiting, so I slipped out of the dress on my own and went to sleep with my sexy underwear being unregarded by my husband. By the time he sneaked into the bedroom, I was already fast asleep. When I woke up in the morning, he was lying on his back beside me, snoring, still dressed in his tailcoat. At least he had taken his shoes off!" Angela concluded with dry sarcasm.

"He wore a tailcoat? Wow!" Tony slowly got the feeling that Angela's first wedding had been one he usually read about in glamor magazines.

"Well, yes, but that's not the point!" The pain of being neglected on her wedding night still nagged at her.

"I know, Sweetheart, I know. That was so insensitive of him, and actually, I don't understand this man. How could he leave you by yourself on your wedding night? Aw well, he was stupid enough to leave you and Jonathan many years later. He's a jerk, and will remain one forever!" Tony shook his head. "So, the bar hadn't been too high for me to outdo your first husband. I wanted to give you a wedding night you'd never forget."

"Mission accomplished, Darling," Angela confirmed and sealed it with a tender kiss on his cheek, thankful that one plain compliment from Tony always made her feel attractive and loved.

"Good. It was a wonderful day yesterday. I'm glad we kept it small and simple."

"But you had told me once you that you wanted your next wedding to be big because you had eloped with Marie."

"True. But if big weddings mean that the husband has to do without the wedding night, I sure rather do without a big wedding!"

"Aw, you're so sweet!"

"No, I'm only honest," he said with a boyish grin.

"What was your first wedding night like? I bet it was very romantic. It was your first time with Marie, wasn't it?"

"Yes, but it wasn't as romantic as you might think."

"Why not?"

"Marie was still a virgin, of course," he started.

"Of course?" Angela repeated, being a little piqued by this rather macho attitude.

"Angela, she was a young Italian girl! Of course, she was a virgin!"

"Wouldn't you have married her if she hadn't been?"

"I would've married her in each and every case. I was crazy about her! We were so young; she wasn't even 20 and I had just turned 22."

"Why did you elope then? Didn't she want to have a nice wedding, with a beautiful dress and everything?"

"It had been a spontaneous idea, to be honest. I proposed, she fell into my arms, we kissed, and then I asked her whether she wanted to get married right away. And without really thinking about it, she said yes. So we hopped in my car, drove to the nearest wedding chapel, filled out a form, and got married."

"Not very romantic."

"No, but exciting!" He grinned. "I guess, at the age of 20 you're not so much into romance, but more into excitement and thrill. And that was what we got! It was like an adventure, and it took us a few days until we realized what we had done."

"But you didn't regret what you had done."

"No, not a bit!"

"And your wedding night?"

"Well..." Tony hesitated to go on.

"I told you about mine, now you have to tell me about yours," Angela demanded. "I bet there's much more to tell!"

"Not really. Okay, we did spend it together, and we made love, but..."

"But?"

"Marie was very tense, and somehow I couldn't make her relax completely. I was sort of inexperienced, too. I mean, I had been together with other women, but never with one I truly loved. I had never made love to a wife before, just to some fling, and that's a difference. A huge difference. It wasn't bad for our first try, but we got better...uh, well, that's not really relevant here."

Tony was a little embarrassed. Talking to one woman about how he had made love to another was kind of weird. But Angela only grinned and said, "Yes, I guess you have improved your...er, skills."

"I sure hope so!"

They remained silent for a moment. Then Angela started to talk again.

"What you said in front of the altar, about our relationship, was so sweet. Why didn't you tell me that you had something planned?"

"It wouldn't have been a surprise, and I wanted to surprise you."

"Isn't it amazing that you're still able to surprise me after all these years? Sometimes I think I know you like the back of my hand, then again you're doing something or saying something I would've never expected. That's one of the reasons I love you."

"One reason? Can you name one more?"

"I can name a thousand more!"

"A thousand? Wow..."

"Before you came into my life, Tony, I was a self-conscious, insecure person in my private life. I don't know whether you noticed. I was on top-of-things and confident in the conference room, but the complete opposite out of it."

"I noticed, Sweetheart, from the very first night you needed my advice about whether or not to sleep with your boss. I already felt the urge to protect you that night. I didn't want you to be taken advantage of, and that's what bosses do when they sleep with their subordinates."

"Oh?"

"Present company excepted, of course!" He smirked, and as if to prove that he hadn't felt to be taken advantage of, or hadn't minded, although she'd technically been his boss on their first night, he gave her a deep kiss on the mouth. He hadn't been her official housekeeper anymore at the time they had first done 'it', but he had lived in her house for free and had volunteered to be her janitor in return.

"Of course," Angela concurred. "Jokes aside, Tony, I..." She wanted to go on with giving him back some of the wonderful words he had spoken to her in front of the altar, but was interrupted once again by her husband who was in playful mood.

"I wasn't joking," Tony whispered in her ear and covered her neck with butterfly kisses.

Angela inhaled sharply. "You have to stop this, Tony, if you want me to concentrate on what you did for me."

"Who says I want you to concentrate on what I did? I'd rather want you to concentrate on what I'm doing right now..."

Tony let his lips trail down her neck, past the collarbone to her cleavage up to the satin sheet which was covering her naked breasts. His hot, breathed, longing kisses on her sensitive skin challenged Angela's will power. It was so tempting to let him take the sheet away and seduce her, make love to her, probably as passionately as the night before. But she was determined, so she pulled the sheet up to her chin with an abrupt jolt, hitting his nose.

"Ouch! Why are you hitting me, Angela? This nose has been broken twice, it's sensitive!" He held his nose and looked at her with disappointed puppy eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you."

"I'm glad to hear that," he pouted. "You don't want me to kiss you?"

"I do!...Later...There's something I have to tell you first."

"Alright," Tony said, still fighting down his arousal which even Angela's left hook hadn't taken away completely. He sat next to her, leaned his back against the header of the bed, and likewise pulled the sheet up to his chin. He made sure to bend his legs a little, so that the soft, flowing fabric wouldn't show what this bit of fooling around had already done to his lower section. But Angela put her eyes elsewhere anyway, namely at his face. She turned towards him and lost herself in his big brown eyes which had warmed her heart from the very first time she had looked into them.

"Tony, before I met you, I had a very ambivalent attitude towards myself. I knew that I was good in what I did for a living. I felt secure and strong in the business world and knew how to handle men as long as they were clients or fellow ad execs. But as soon as I left the holy halls of advertising, I mutated to a bashful, naïve and clumsy little dummy, incapable of dealing with men on a casual basis.

It seemed that beginning with my teenage years, men had always something to complain about when they looked at me. When I was at college, I was too fat, too boring, too eager to graduate early. When I first started to work, I still was too fat, although I had started losing some weight. I was too plain and mousy for men to notice. Michael was the first man who showed me he was attracted. I had lost all the extra weight by then and had started to dye my hair. Being with him gave me a good feeling, a feeling of being loved and cherished, of being an attractive woman with sex appeal. The feeling was so good that I overlooked that it wasn't an unselfish or even unconditional love Michael was giving me. He loved me as long as I behaved in a way which suited his life. As soon as my thoughts started to circle not only around him anymore, but also around what I wanted to accomplish in my life, like having a baby and my own career, he found a lot of flaws. I was too ambitious, too unwomanly all of a sudden, not enough wife anymore. When I wasn't in a romantic mood after a full working day and two hours of rocking crying Jonathan to sleep, he called me prudish and cold, unable to fulfill a husband's needs."

"He should've given you a relaxing neck massage instead of asking you to please him, or he could have rocked Jonathan to sleep himself!"

Angela smiled at Tony. He was so different from Michael. He would've never made her feel the way Michael had. "So, there it was again, the feeling of inadequacy, of being unattractive to men, unlovable."

"Unlovable? Nonsense! Are you kiddin'?"

"No, I'm not kidding. And I wasn't having fun."

Angela's voice broke, and Tony felt the sudden wish to show her how lovable and attractive she was, how alluring she looked, and how intoxicating she smelled. But he also had the feeling she wanted to get something off her chest, so he only took her hand and started stroking it tenderly.

"Go on, Honey."

"Well, there isn't so much more to tell. I dated a few guys after Michael, but I never really felt comfortable around men. I always asked myself what they might expect from me, how they might want me to be. I never dared to be who I was." Angela looked at Tony with watery eyes, "Until I met you. Of course, at the beginning I didn't look at you like someone I wanted to date. I didn't look at you as a man."

"Gee, thank you! What was I to you? A neuter?"

"Well, not exactly. You were too hunky to be a neuter." She grinned mischievously. "But in a way, yes, you were neutral. You were my friend, and maybe that was the reason why I didn't feel the urge to play-act. But the most important point is that you gave me the feeling to be okay the way I was."

"Ey-oh, oh-ey! I hope you noticed that I found you were more than just okay!"

"Yes, sometimes I did! At it was a wonderful feeling! You are the only man except my father who loves me without conditions or demands. My father used to call me his little princess, and he kept telling me that whatever I did or whatever I looked, he'd be proud of me. That's a very reassuring feeling for a little girl... and likewise for a grown woman."

"Angela, you're perfect! There's not even one aspect about you which isn't. As I told you yesterday morning - before you beguiled me into having sex with my fiancée before meeting her at the altar - even your imperfections are perfect. I'm grateful no other man noticed before."

"You noticed, Tony, because you're a sensitive man."

"I noticed because I love you, Angela! And I guess you did to me what I talked about at our wedding yesterday for the very same reason."

"Oh, yes," Angela, whispered, "I'm completely in love with you!"

They kissed, then looked at each other and smiled.

"I still can't believe you sang that song for me yesterday," Angela said. "I didn't know you liked Frankie Valli."

"He's Italian, just like me! I've always loved the music of Frankie Valli. He and the Four Seasons sang some wonderful love songs. I've been listening to his music for all my life."

Tony could've told Angela how he had once cried behind his steering wheel many years ago, when he had been on his way to the hospital to visit Lynnie after her umpteenth surgery in the aftermath of her accident. He had tuned the radio to an oldies station and one of Frankie Valli's #1 solo songs had been played. When he had heard the lines 'my eyes adored you, like a million miles away from me you couldn't see how I adored you, so close and yet so far', his eyes had been filling with tears. And when Valli with his matchless voice had sung about the girl he missed and the love he had left behind, he had pulled over because he hadn't been able to see the road in front of him anymore, for the tears had been running down his cheeks like a waterfall.

It hadn't been the only occasion Tony had felt that the famous musician sang about his life. After Kathleen and he had gotten their divorce, Tony had struggled with himself for a long time about whether or not to call Angela. He hadn't forgotten what Michael had asked him for when they had run into each other accidentally at the hospital after Angela's breakdown. He had promised to leave her in peace, to let her live her own life, to not prolong her agony with showing up and leaving again. But this time he had wanted to stay, for good. Only that he hadn't had any idea whether she wanted him back. It had been Frankie Valli again who had knocked some sense into him: 'workin' my way back to you babe, with a burning love inside, yea I'm workin' my way back to you babe, for the happiness that died'.

Tony had been at a grocery store, running the necessary errands for the week to come. At first, he had only listened to the song which was hovering through the aisles at low-key just like any other kind of muzak, then he had started to hum along, only to start singing the chorus out loud in the end. The people standing around him had stared at him in bewilderment, some of them in annoyance. Only an elderly gentleman in a shabby overcoat and a crumpled hat had agreed with him: 'Yea, Man, go and get yourself your girl back!'

That had been the day Tony had decided to take Lynnie to Fairfield and introduce her to Angela...or Angela to Lynnie. It hadn't mattered from which perspective you looked at it. One way or the other, it had been a fresh start for their relationship, which had turned into a friendship again later on, and eventually into romance and love. Having become husband and wife was more than he had dared to even dream of when he had been holding two heavy shopping bags in his hands at that grocery store, listening to his fellow countryman singing his heart out for the girl he loved and longed to get back. All Tony had wanted back then was to be a part of Angela's life again. So he had made the first step, and he thanked Frankie Valli to this day for his advice.