THE FINAL CHAPTER! *gasp*
Zuko got a wake up call at around 2:00 a.m. the next morning, mostly because Azula was too excited to sleep knowing Zuko was getting kicked out, but of course the Fire Lord made up some ridiculous excuse about the entrance having a top notch automatic security system that operates between the hours of 6:00 a.m. and 11:00 p.m., making it impossible to leave or enter the palace, whatever that means. He was taken out to the entrance to the capital city and instructed to wait for his uncle. An hour later he heard a loud rumble unlike anything he'd ever heard before. A moment later it came again. And again. And once more before he could make out a huge red lump being carried by fifteen (FIFTEEN!) palanquin bearers. The lump got closer and closer until Zuko recognized it as his super fat uncle. Iroh kept snoring until his brother, who was hiding behind the bush next to Zuko the entire time, hopped out from behind his hiding spot and pulled out his signature air horn.
"INDIAN SCREAM! LOO LOO LOO LOO LOO—" screeched Ozai
"Dad!" Knowing that the Dragon of the West is bound to be immune to the air horn, the Fire Lord didn't even bother testing it. He began wacking him on the head with the can-side of the horn and did NOT stop until Zuko threw a toilet plunger at his father's butt—and Iroh was still asleep (it's impossible to wake him up if he's dreaming about tea). So when thirteen of the palanquin bearers collapsed from the weight, Zuko had to help haul his uncle onto a heavy duty cargo truck.
"Since I'm feeling merciful today, I've not going to make you drive with your Uncle on your way out."
"That warms my heart," he said, yawning. "So where are you sending us off to?"
"I dunno. Wherever you go is your business. Now if you will excuse me, I need to smack my guard. STOP EATING MY STEAK, YOU FREAK! Oh, and by the way, Fire Lords may not have tattoos, so if right now, you're not eligible to be Fire Lord."
"But—"
"HOWEVER, I will make you a deal. If you capture the Avatar, I'll allow you to get the tattoo removed-don't give me that look! You think you can get it removed anytime but the only doctors that can do the job are in the palace, hun. Now, go get tortured by your uncle!" Ozai shoved his son in the direction of the cargo truck, which was being driven through the gates to dump his uncle into the streets. Zuko led his ostritch-horse, which had been given to him on his twelfth birthday and had almost blinded him with a spoon (don't ask), towards the trucks.
"Good morning, my nephew. Do you have any cake?"
"Grrr…"
"Tea?"
"You know what…!"
"Never mind! Let's go!" Uncle then tried to mount the ostrich horse but couldn't even get his leg up a foot in the air. He tried again, this time using a stepladder, but the animal looked at him with fearful eyes and shook its head vigorously. No one can really blame it.
So Zuko rode on the poor creature's back while Uncle was forced to walk. None of them knew where they were going, but it didn't matter. If by any chance they get lost, Iroh would have all that body fat to live off of and Zuko…well, Zuko has the ostrich-horse…right?
THE END
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