Chapter XXV
In August, the Western Allies started pushing back the German forces, making Julia, Olive, Niall and many many others believe in God and justice again. At the same time, in Poland, the Warsaw Uprising began, which everyone was reading about in the newspapers while holding their breaths. And so the summer turned quickly into autumn which brought hope and faith into Julia's life more than ever during the war. The days were coming and going away, hardly noticed by anyone.
Walt and Lily moved to Kingsport as planned in July, and Walt was writing to Julia adressing himself proudly as the "Mathematics Professor". Cilia was writing to Julia more regularly than she ever did, telling her all about the preparations she and Marshall were doing for their baby. Even Owen had the chance to write to Julia and tell her that "All is fine, and don't worry about me.".
Gilly was still in Italy, wheras Blythe was moved over to the east of France in late November. "But there is no hope for me getting a leave anytime soon, unfortunately." he wrote to Julia "It's making me so angry! We are both on the same land, and still I can't see you!". Julia chuckled under the series of exclamation marks he made in his letter, but.. was angry herself that she couldn't see him anytime soon.
Merry and Jake were in Italy too, being once again in the "boring" trenches as Jake wrote to Julia. Also, in September, Jake was finally moved up to a position of a Captain and everyone couldn't be more proud. Leslie was happily nursing in London, and her friendship with Jane turned into a real "bosom friendship", like Julia's and Olive's friendship was.
"And it's December, once again!" Julia wrote in her diary "This year went too fast. I know that maybe it is good that it did because of the war, but to be honest I never really liked when the time was passing so fast. I can't believe that I haven't seen my home for three years now. Three years! That's such a long time! So many things I could have done for those three years if it hadn't been for the war. And I haven't seen my brother Merry and cousin Jake for five years! I'm sure that the photos they send me don't show how much changed they really are and I'm certain that they did change. Merry is twenty-four now and Jake twenty-three. They were such boys in 1939, just nineteen and eighteen year olds!
"I'm sure I changed too, on the outside I mean. I don't think I really changed dramatically on the inside, at least I hope I didn't and if yes, than I hope that I changed only for the better. Goodness, I'm twenty-two! That's such a weird thing, I don't feel any different than when I was fourteen, although probably my Dad would say that it can't be true, but I feel like it is. Of course I don't feel like playing in 'Indians' again, but I still feel free and wild.
"Blythe has been on my mind for quite a while and it seems that I can't push him away from my thoughts, although I tried so hard, I can't. It seems as if the old yet romantic quote from the "Pride and Prejudice" will haunt me forever and ever whenever I will think of Blythe: "You have bewitched me, body and soul." this is exactly how I feel about him. I'm not in a melancholy though, I'm just very ready for "the move". And maybe I will make it one day.
"I really shouldn't think about things like that when just yesterday the "Battle of the Bugle" started involving all of the Allies forces. Right now we are just waiting for the soldiers from this Belgian front to arrive here. It is quite strange when you think about it, so many tragic horrible things happen in the world, and one can't think about them and instead think about someone they love but there is no love from them in return.
"Well, at least me and Olive are in the exactly the same situation, and sometimes, although it really is very "égoïste" like the French would say, it makes me feel better, to actually have someone near you who is stuck in the same kind of mud like me and doesn't know how and when to get out of it.
"Anyway, I am going to dress up in my unifrom now, because my duty starts in just half an hour! As Grandmother Blythe would say: "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it, yet!""
The Christmas Day in 1944 arrived with snow flowing down from the sky and the cold winter breeze coming from the woods and fields surrounding the small military camp near Rouen. Julia and Olive sang Christams carols for the whole day, and they made many soldiers smile at them for the first time in weeks. Then, the both of them and Niall had their special little "Christmas Dinner" and gave each other small gifts. "Oh, it's so magical today!" Julia exclaimed while drinking her tea at the table in the canteen "I wonder what all of my boys are doing today?".
"I bet Merry is joking all the time with this Jake of yours." Olive suggested with a smile.
Julia chuckled "You're most likely right!" she said "Gilly is probably talking with his pilot-friends and eating and eating till his stomach can't take any more food, Owen is probably listening to all the navy-officers' talk, and Blythe probably writes new poems and gazes up at the stars." she sighed saying the last bit in a different voice of hers, picturing in her head the black-haired man looking up at the sky filled up with billions of stars which reflection could be seen in his grey eyes.
"It's good that we have each other tonight, isn't it?" Olive asked and looked at Niall with a shy smile.
"It is." he answered with a soft grin on his lips "Especially during Christmas, when people who are dear to each other are supposed to be spending it together." he said, gazing up at Julia longingly.
Julia met his eyes and looked down on her cup she was holding, she nodded "Yes, that's true. Do you miss your home, Niall?" she asked him suddenly.
"I miss my parents." he replied sadly "But I don't really miss anything else. I always wanted to live in France, you know." his eyes started shining again, and he smiled at the two curious girls looking at him.
"Really?" Olive said in an interested tone "Why?"
"I used to come to many different parts of France when I was a child." he said with a grin of a memory crossing his face "And I always loved its landscapes and the sense of peacefulness. Not saying that the landscapes are the best source for the amateur-painter like me." he chuckled quietly.
"I've never been anywhere as a child," Olive said and sighed "But I always dreamed of travelling, all around the world." she finished dreamily.
"If you could go anywhere you want, in this very moment, where would you go?" Julia asked her curiously.
"Hm… I would go to Florence and watch the sea all afternoon." Olive replied and giggled like a little girl "What about you?" she asked both of her friends.
Niall and Julia looked at each other and smiled "Canada." they both said at the same moment and the three of them laughed cheerfully.
"All of us have to meet up in Glen one day." Julia said decidedly "I mean all of us: you, Niall, Claire, Amelia and I, so you can all meet my crazy family and they can meet you." she grinned.
"That would be lovely." Olive said and grinned back in the way both she and Julia always grinned to each other as if it was their hidden message only they, the kindred spirits, could understand.
"Nurse Jones!" Mrs Tate suddenly appeared at their table, all red from either emotions or the cold weather.
"Yes, Matron?" Olive stood up immediately.
"Would you please check on Lieutenant Lloyds while I will take care of the new delivery of morphine?" she asked her hurriedly "It will only take twenty minutes. And I will prepare a cocoa for you especially." she winked at her.
Olive almost gasped "Of course, Matron!" she said joyfully and waved to Julia and Niall, leaving them by themselves. Julia and Niall laughed while watching Olive run after Mrs Tate in this funny way which made her look as if she was dancing. Then Julia eventually realised that she and Niall were left alone. And they were never alone, not after Julia learned that Olive loved Niall and that Niall loved her instead of Olive.
Julia gulped and her cheeks flushed with red. She looked back at her cup, trying to avoid the intense gaze of Niall's blue eyes, searching in her own hazel eyes for some of the feeling which was glistening in his eyes for the past year. "We're alone now." Niall whispered as if to himself.
Julia's face turned even redder and her grasp around the cup tightened "We never really are truly alone, are we?" she said slowly, and then questioned herself why did she just said that outloud.
"No. Although I would love that sometimes." he answered and looked in Julia's eyes with adoration.
Julia looked at him seriously "What… do you… mean exactly?" she breathed out, but knew that this question was quite unnecessary.
Niall took her hand in his and squeezed it "I think you know exactly what I mean, Julia." he said eventually, in a low tone.
She just nodded and looked away once more "Niall, I…" she started but he interrupted her.
"I love you." he whispered in a way that Julia thought that it was hurting him to even say those three words outloud.
"I know." she said softly after the awkward moment of silence and looked in Niall's eyes at last "But I don't love you, not in this way anyway." she said finally and tears appeared in her eyes.
He let out her hand and his face turned a bit pale, but he was still looking in Julia's hazel eyes meaningfully "Maybe... if I kiss you, you will change your mind?" he murmured with a hopeful voice.
She shook her head quickly "No, I won't, Niall." she said with breaking voice.
"Why? Tell me what should I do to make you love me in this way?" he asked her passionately "I will do anything…"
It was then Julia who interrupted him "There's nothing you nor I can do to do it." she answered him in a serious tone "I… sometimes wish I could, but I can't… because…" she gulped and felt that she couldn't bring herself to say it outloud.
"You love someone else." Niall finished for her with a sad smile on his face.
"I do." she said again and her lip started to tremble "And it hurts so much." she breathed out and tears started strimming down her cheeks, revealing all of her emotions she had been hiding for so long from everyone around her.
Niall sat next to her and put his arm around her shoulders and she quickly snuggled into his arms "Tell me your long and complicated love-story you promised to tell me the day we met." Niall suggested with a lighter expression on his face.
And so Julia told him everything, from the very beggining and he listened carefully and understood her utterly. Julia knew that he did understand and she wasn't afraid of her fear anymore, she was determined to do something about her lonely and longing heart. She was glad that Niall knew now, that he knew that she could never love him in that way, and that her big secret wasn't a secret for him any more. "You must write to him." Niall said when she finished her story.
Julia looked at him and dryed off her tears "How?" she asked him nervously and almost helplessly.
"You know how better than anyone else, my dear." he said warmly and kissed her cheek in a friendly way.
She smiled at him and then laughed quietly "It took me four years to decide on writing to him and telling him how I feel." she said.
"Better now, than never." Niall replied merrily.
"You'll be alright?" she asked him quickly while getting up from her seat, with a fresh expression on her face.
"Yes, I will." he said with a small honest grin on his face "We are just not meant to be, it seems. And that means that somebody else is meant for me too. And I'll find that someone one day." he squeezed Julia's hand assuringly.
"Olive is quite similar to me in many ways." she said and smiled at him knowingly, making Niall's eyes change from blank into the alive ones again.
"I'll watch out for her then." he chuckled and grabbed Julia's hand once again "Good luck." he whispered.
"Thank you. I'll need it more than ever." she whispered back and squeezed his hand before running back to her 'tent-home' and finally being ready for one of the biggest steps she would do in her life.
Julia wrote a three pages long letter to Blythe on the Christmas Day of 1944, five years after Blythe confessed to her that he loved her, three years after Julia last saw Blythe, realising that it could never be anyone else for her but him. Those three pages were much more than just a love letter, it was a pure dedication of love and faithfulness filled up with poetry, honesty, tears, hopes and dreams for the bright future. And although Julia thought that the writing of this letter would take her the whole afternoon, she was wrong, it took her just twenty minutes to write. She attached to the letter her photograph which Olive took of her under the Eiffel Tower just six months earlier and for the first time in her life, she finished the letter saying "With all my love for you, Your Bathsheba".
Julia told Olive everything, after writing the letter, of what happened after she left to help Mrs Tate and Olive cried with tears of happiness along with Julia for the rest of the afternoon, singing and joking as if they really were fourteen year olds again. Julia sent the letter the day after and as soon as she did, she felt as if she really got those wings attached to her back like Blythe told her, back on Christams Day in 1939, that he used to get whenever he was thinking of her.
Julia thought that things could only get better if the war ended. All she could feel for the next three days was a pure definition of happiness and relief. She could dance all day, sing all night and not sleep at all. She was so certain that Blythe would answer her with just as long love-letter and that they would marry and love each other for the rest of their lives. She was so sure about it, her heart could almost pop out of her chest whenever she only thought about the very word 'Blythe'.
However it all changed with just one telegram which came early in the morning, four days after the Christmas Day, informing Julia that Blythe has been wounded in his back and is in a critical state in the hospital in Paris.
I just wanted to say a big "Thank you!" to all my dear readers for reading my story and reviewing (special thanks to Alinyaalethia, Kim Blythe and IrishPrincess) ;)
Enjoy my next chapters which I will post very soon! :) Once more, thank you everyone and please read, enjoy and remember: review! :D - Bathsheba Blythe