AN

Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves. ~Dale Carnegie

Big thanks again to Hanski (you rock a million times over), 7Cerberus7, and all my reviewers and those who helped on this story.
And thanks to Steph, cause she created Twilight (not I) and where would any of us be without her?

This morning I almost forgot. The Almighty Force of Goodness almost let me forget about all of the crap going on in my life.

I walked into out school's make-shift cafeteria/auditorium/part-time gym, ready to talk all about the latest plot twist from our favourite television program. I sat down next to me (ex?) best friend. My mouth had almost started into one of its television rants, when I was awoken from my memory-loss fuelled delusions. Without a word, she got up, packed her stuff, and marched over to another table. She sat beside a...student? Teacher? He looked to be in the wrong age group for either. We'll just have to mix both of those up and call him and call him 'the half man half boy who Myra went to sit with instead of me' (THMHBWMWTSWIOM) or maybe just ManBoy.

I didn't recognise him exactly, but he did seem familiar. He could've been the older sibling of someone who was actually the right age to go to this school.

It hurt that she chose to sit with this ManBoy I've never even seen before over the best friend who she's known forever. I sat with her on the beach together when her grandmother passed even though it was pouring and those stupid trees on that stupid beach didn't offer any protection. I stayed up with her all night when she thought she was going to fail her science test so I could re-teach her the entire unit she missed because she spent all of her time staring at a certain boy. And I'm the one who's stood beside her all these years through all this Jared madness. What has this guy ever done? How dare he just jump out of nowhere and steal her from me?

Jared was now beside me. When had he gotten there? I thought about just getting up and leaving right then, but decided to stick around and hear what he had to say. Because truthfully, although I'd kill you if you ever told Myra, I liked being around Jared and I liked having him around me. There were some things about him that didn't seem so bad. The way he looked at me, the way he looked, his voice, his eyes, his kind and gentleness, his warmth, this smile, his fiery persistence. They were all things that I hadn't noticed before, even when Myra had pointed them out.

"So, this Friday,"

"No."

"I was thinking, you and me,"

"No."

"Could go get something to eat,"

"No."

"Together,"

"Definitely no."

"My treat,"

"Super no."

"I know this nice place,"

"Infinite no."

"I already made us reservations."

Why wasn't I going out with this gorgeous hunk of mantastic Prince Charming, again? Oh, right, to save my non-existent friendship, which was remaining broken basically no matter what I did. Maybe one date couldn't...Uh, oh. I'd waited too long to answer and now his hopes were up which would make saying no and watching his broken-hearted face even harder.

I put my head down, rested on my arms.

Jared placed his hand on my back as if he were some concerned third person, and not the cause of all my problems. It felt warm. It felt nice. It felt comforting.

It made my heart leap. Just like every day since the party; He'd come over here, try to ask me out, be rejected, then instead of leaving, like a normal person, he'd sit beside me throwing in the occasional "You look beautiful today", "I like what you've done with your hair", "You know, I really think you should at least trygoing out with me", "I'd never hurt you", or -my favorite- "Are you gunna finish that?". I tried my best to ignore him.

Deep breath.

"No, Jared. No Friday, and no date."

I got up and walked away, not daring to look back, and not daring to see Jared's face.

I was staring at the stars outside my window. I'd pulled the screen off a couple of years ago when we discovered how much fun sneaking on to the roof was, so I was leaning out of the window, breathing the fresh air, and staring at the stars, with nothing in between us but a million miles of space.

Staring at the stars always seemed to help people in movies or TV figure out things about love the same way sitting on the roof and writing in a journal did. The plan tonight: Kill two birds with one stone.

I laid a folded fleece blanket over the ledge of my window so that getting in and out would be easier, more comfortable.

When I leaned out- SPIDER! I brushed it away with a bouquet of plastic flowers I'd bought for a school project. ON THE OTHER SIDE! There was another one! I swept it down onto the roof, sending the bouquet of phony foliage with it. When another one lowered from the top ledge of the window, I slammed it shut and recoiled into a dark corner of my room.

My breath was heavy. "Shit! How many spiders live at my house?"

All of the things that had been piling up let themselves spill out of my eyes as tears. I cried and cried until I was all dried up. My face felt salty.

I was tired on tip-toeing over eggshells for other people.

If Jared still wanted me (which he probably did, because why would he randomly stop now) I would go out with him. End of story. Decision made. Done. Over.

Maybe I should re-think this.

Thanks for reviewing (I'm thanking in advance, because I know you will).

Please let me know what you think, because I'm really not sure about this update. I want your honest oppinion.

Should I write another chapter?