Seriously long chapter is seriously long. This one took a long time to write, but i really like what i did with it. I took a little something I've seen some authors do before and I hope you guys like it. It's just chapter layout so it's nothing major. I recently saw this when I was reading Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erickson. Lots of plot in this one and almost no action, but I think everyone will enjoy it.

Chapter 22

Gregor was nervous. He could feel sweat beading on his forehead and his hands were clammy. The sound of rushing water assaulted his ears and in the meager light he could see white caps on the river's surface. The little dock was wet with spray and the small boat that was moored to it continuously assaulted the side of it as the water pushed it around. This is nuts, Gregor thought as he clenched and unclenched his fists. He took a further step out onto the dock and extended the torch out further. He could see even more of the river and the speed it moved at. Involuntarily he swallowed hard as he thought of what he was about to do.

He placed the torch into a holder on the dock and walked to the edge of the dock. The spray from the river cooled his skin and he could feel his hair start to stick to him. His clothes clinged to his frame and he stretched his arms out. A coolness took over his body and he relaxed. His senses calmed, his mind stopped moving at a hundred miles an hour. With a deep breath of the cool air, Gregor turned and looked at his companion that stood with him.

"Are you sure this will work?" Gregor asked.

"Am I sure?" his companion barked back. "Of, course I'm not sure. I'm not sure about any of this. This is all a hunch, kid." Ripred was always the sinic. It was his idea in the first place and yet he wasn't sure if it was going to help. Only that rat could lead Gregor to do something this stupid. But he was the only one who had even given him an idea on how to fix his problem. It was worth a shot.

"Let's get this over with," Gregor said as he turned back to the water. His toes hung off the edge of the dock to the point that a stray gust of wind could knock him in. Something strong wrapped around his waist and pinned his arms to his side.

"Hold your breath," Ripred said right before he lifted Gregor full bodily and plunged him into the water.

Gregor was in shock. He wasn't prepared for the chill of the water. The coldness enveloped him and he tried to break free from the restraining tail. His breath was only going to last for so long and he knew it. When drowning the brain often goes into a hyper state reeling off thoughts and memories faster than normal. Gregor's brain was doing just that. Why am I doing this?, he thought. Why am I letting him drown me? There was a method to the madness, but it was forgotten to Gregor. He could feel his anger building as his lungs begged for air. His blood was heating up and his arms were trying as hard as possible to break free from the tail that held him under the water.

And then he remembered why he was doing this. Must remain calm. Ripred isn't going to let me die. That is the entire point, Gregor thought. He let his body go limp. He stopped fighting. Ripred will pull me out, right? His lungs protested and Gregor couldn't help but open his mouth to try to breath. Water rushed into his mouth and he could feel it in his lungs. He closed his mouth, but he was out of air. The darkness started to slip over him. The darkness he had known so many times. He started to slip away and he closed his eyes. This was peaceful…

"Wake up, boy!" something snarled at Gregor. A slap across his face brought his body up. Water spewed from his mouth and his lungs as he forced air back into his body. He coughed up more and more water. I swallowed the whole God-damn river, he thought as he pounded his chest and more water came up. That seemed to be the last of it and Gregor sat breathing in clean air. His clothes were stuck to his body, and he could feel the damp and cold, but it all felt good. He felt better, more like himself. Better than he had in ages.

"Get up, boy. You're alright," Ripred said as he yanked Gregor up with his tail. A retort came to Gregor's head, but he didn't say it. He didn't even feel what had become the normal animosity that would rise in his chest when he wa challenged. He felt back to his normal self. And it felt good.

"This was the stupidest and the smartest thing I think I have ever done," Gregor told his friend as the walked back into the palace. It was certainly a risk, but the risk seemed to be paying off.

"You feel no anger?" Ripred asked.

"Yea, nothing."

"How about now?" Ripred shot back as he pounced towards Gregor. Gregor was taken off guard and just barely managed to brace himself from the attack. He fell onto his side and dodged the follow up of claws and tail from Ripred. Gregor was seeing red like he normally did when he raged. Ripred attacked one final time and Gregor dodged aside and landed a hard punch to Ripred's chest. Ripred flipped his tail and started to walk away. Gregor felt the test was over. And then the tail shot back and slammed into his chest. He went flying and landed sprawled on the floor facing the ceiling. Back and chest aching he pushed himself into a sitting position.

"What was that for?" Gregor snarled, trying to sound angry. His face gave it all away. He wasn't angry. At least not like he had been. This was just a normal reaction to being thrown a couple feet through the air.

"Two things," Ripred replied. "One was beating me in the arena and the other was hitting me. That was uncalled for." Ripred added the last part in a mocking, baby tone. He pouted his lip and tried to act like a little human child. all he did was show his massive teeth in a snarl. Gregor smiled and climbed gingerly to his feet. He shook his head and pushed the bulk of the rat. Ripred shoved him back and Gregor again landed on his butt.

"Stop playing, Gregor. We have a queen to see."

Gregor laid there staring at the ceiling of his room. His sister was curled up next to him on his bed sound asleep, her light breathing the only slight noise in the space. It was the most peaceful Gregor had felt in the longest time. For the first time in quite a while Gregor had a soft bed underneath him and the comfort of knowing he was okay. and yet he lay awake. Every little thing was worming its way into his head and nagging him. He hadn't been out of the court for even a few hours yet he felt overwhelmed with the amount of things he had to do. His list was long and he had only managed to check one off. His sister had been one of his top priorities and she had made it easy for him.

Although he had had to bathe and change into some new clothes along with get something of actual sustenance to eat, Margaret had been waiting in his room. As soon as he walked through the curtain to his room, she jumped on him and refused to let go. It had been the first time he had the chance to talk with her in what felt like ages. They had sat and talked for sometime before she had started to get tired and he himself felt the urge to sleep. Margaret refused to leave him, so there they were sleeping in the same bed like they had when they were younger. Or at least one of them was sleeping.

There was so much on Gregor's mind that he thought he would never be able to sleep. His mind wandered from one thing to the next, never stopping too long on one thing, never focusing on anything in particular. His trial was still fresh in his mind, all of those events circulating with his problems and his feelings. Anxious feelings about his friends. He wondered if Eisen was okay and what the people close to him were doing. Margaret moved next to him and muttered something under her breath, which snapped Gregor out of his mind. A deep breath cleared his head and he closed his eyes. The throes of sleep took hold of Gregor and his snores joined those of his sister.

Screaming. Lots of Screaming. That's all Gregor could remember of his dream. Who was screaming and what they were screaming about was lost to him, but he could remember the scream. It was loud, high pitched, and worst of all, it was scared. It wasn't a scream of pain. No, someone was scared about something or of someone. He had a strange feeling it was a someone and that someone was him. He sat up and untangled his sister from his arm. Gingerly, he climbed out of his bed to prevent waking up his sister. With one foot out the door, there was a sound behind him.

"Where are you going, Gregor?" Margaret asked, her voice heavy with sleep.

"I'm just going for a walk. I gotta clear my head," Gregor replied. He looked at his sister in the dim light of the room and smiled before stepping out into the hall. The hall was empty like normal for this time of night. Perfect for thinking. Step after step and hall after hall, Gregor wandered with no destination. His mind was set with just one thought: who was screaming and why? His eyes closed and he strained his mind to remember what had happened.

Anger. That was what Gregor felt. Terror. That's what he started to remember. His dream was about anger and terror. And then it all started to come back to him. The red that had shrouded everything. The anger he had felt as he did what he did. The terror he saw in the people's eyes. He knew that wasn't him and it was a dream. But dreams reflect a person's thoughts and actions and Gregor knew that. And he was disgusted with himself. It was just a dream but it felt real. It felt like something he could end up doing. And that scared him.

For once he felt he needed to actively seek help. Like everyone Gregor knew he wasn't perfect. There was always something he needed help with. But he rarely ever went to someone with the intent of asking for help. This though was a time for that. As soon as he could Gregor would find someone he could trust and talk to them about his thoughts. But now Gregor felt weary. It was a long walk back to his room and Gregor didn't feel like embarking on the walk back. His luck was with him though as within a few moments he had entered the high hall like so many times before, found the couch that he had sat on on numerous occasions, and closed his eyes. He was out within seconds.

A gentle shake woke Gregor. His eyes slowly opened and felt the burn of the bright light. Groggily he sat up and stretched his arms out. His body felt heavy from sleep, but his mind felt clear. He stood and cracked his back. It was then that he noticed the person that had woken him up. Perdita sat in the chair next to the couch.

"It is good to see you awake, Gregor," she said as Gregor looked sheepishly around. It was slightly embarrassing for him and he had even forgotten that he had fallen asleep in the high hall.

"Good morning, Perdita," Gregor replied to his friend trying to hide his reddening cheeks.

"It is only just barely still morning. You have been sleeping here for quite awhile. Luxa ordered you to not be awoken. I was most surprised to see you not asleep in your own room. Your sister was even worried this morning. I am sure there is a reason you were sleeping here?"

"Umm, yea I think so," Gregor replied uncertain in himself. "I was unable to sleep last night, so I went out for a walk to clear my head and I ended up here apparently."

"What was clouding your head so much?" Perdita asked, the worry starting to creep into her eyes. This was Gregor's chance to ask for help and tell someone about his dream. But Perdita did not seem like the person to talk to about it. He knew her well enough to know she would tell him it was just a dream and to not worry about it, but he knew that there was something going on. So he told her the next best thing. Which also happened to have been on his mind for the last few days.

"I haven't seen Luxa since after the trial and I need to talk to her about something really important," Gregor replied to Perdita's question, hoping it would suffice and stop any more questions.

"Oh Gregor, is it not something you can talk to another friend about?"

"Sorry, Perdita. I'm not sure I want to talk to anyone else about this. You would be the first person I would come to if I could," the answer was truthful. Perdita was someone Gregor would turn to if things were tough and he had something he really needed to talk about. But this was something that only he and Luxa could fix.

"I believe you Gregor. You and Luxa have a special relationship and somethings are not meant for everyone to hear. I am sure that whatever the problem is you two will be able to solve it." Gregor had never mentioned a problem, but Perdita had read him like a book. He could see it in her eyes and on her face that she knew there was something going on between him and Luxa and it could only be fixed by the two of them. Perdita stood and patted Gregor on the shoulder before she turned and left him. That was her way of showing that she cared and it meant a lot.

A gurgle sounded and Gregor placed his hand on his stomach. The pangs of hunger filled his stomach and he realized just how hungry he was. It seemed to happen to him often that he would end up going long periods of time without sufficient food. And this was one of them. He peeked his head into the dining hall and to his luck there was still food in there. He ate his fill of bread and succulent fruit that reminded him of some of the things he missed from above. The sweetness of an apple came to mind and then the warm, cinnamon taste of apple pie. Gregor was missing some of home and he felt home sick for just a moment. With a shake of the head he grounded himself back in reality, knowing that when it was all over he could go back for a visit, get some sun and a bottle of root beer and a pizza. Nothing said he couldn't. Nonchalantly Gregor grabbed a small, purple fruit and took a big bite from it. Juice exploded in his mouth.

"Hello Gregor. It is good to see you are eating well," a voice said from behind him. Gregor spun around and looked Howard in the eyes. His mouth was stuffed with fruit and he could see the ends of Howard's mouth start to rise in a smile.

"Erro Howar'," Gregor managed through his stuffed cheeks. Howard couldn't help himself and he started to laugh uncontrollably. Gregor swallowed down the fruit in one gulp. "What?" he protested.

"You are a...haha... funny eater, Gregor. You have juice...haha... all down your chin and your face was...hehehe… how you would you say, priceless. Hahahaha." Howard had issues speaking around his laughter. Gregor shook his head and waved off his friend. He couldn't help but smile himself as he grabbed a napkin and wiped the purple juice from his chin.

"You're one heck of a guy," Gregor said to Howard, sarcasm dripping from his words. Howard got the message and eased his laughter down to a slight chuckle. Howard stood to his full height and straightened his face. He cleared his throat.

"I am sorry, Gregor. I have not laughed like that in a long time. I thank you for that. But I did not expect to see you here."

"Where would I have been? I only woke up like ten minutes ago."

"Of course. I only figured you would be off with Perdita and Mareth talking about that traitor, Roderick. I would believe you to be the first person out there looking for him." Gregor was slightly shocked by his friends bluntness. He hadn't even thought about Roderick and cared more about getting his head and body and relations back to normal first. And Howard had the gall to think he wanted revenge first. He could feel his blood start to boil and his smile dropped away. He could see Howard lose his jovial nature very fast. "Did I say something wrong?"

Gregor opened his mouth to speak, but he caught himself. He could feel that he was going to say something he would regret and it was because he was angry. But it was the same feeling he had in his dream and so many times before, he realized. He fought back the urge to lash out and he took deep breath after deep breath. Howard was staring at him strangely, but he did not speak. Gregor could feel his body come back to normal and with one final deep breath he spoke.

"Sorry Howard. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm losing my mind."

"Are you alright, Gregor?" Howard asked taking a few steps towards his friend, concern etched on his face.

"I'm not sure, Howard. I had this dream last night and it made me feel terrible and when I thought about it I realized that I was so angry in then I felt so angry right now and I had been feeling like that for almost the entire time I've been here. And I don't know why." Gregor threw it all at Howard. Howard was one person that Gregor could trust might have a solution. Someone who could work out what was wrong with him and give him a possible solution. But his hopes were not with him this time.

"Gregor, you have been under lots of stress recently. There has been a lot of things happening and you have been injured several times. Do not look to much into this. I really believe it is just stress. Perhaps you should talk with Vikus or Mareth about it. They both have more experience in life than both of us combined and they may be able to help you better. I am sorry if I said something that you did not like. Forgive me, but I must be on my way." Howard wished Gregor luck and turned and left the room. Gregor was crushed. His hope of an answer squandered under the presumption of stress. and he knew that it wasn't that. He wasn't stressed was he? No, I'm not stressed, Gregor thought. He had been through more stress in his previous times here and he had never lost himself. This was different and he knew it. It was affecting his psyche and it was getting in the way of his relations with people he cared about. Howard was a good doctor and a smart man, but he was wrong on this one. Gregor knew it.

But Howard had been right. Gregor had plenty of friends who could help him. Vikus might know about this just because he had lived so long. Mareth may even know something from his military background. What was clear was he was going to find an answer no matter what. the room was empty except for him and the silence was odd to him. He was used to being here with noise, but for once it was quiet. He looked at the walls and wondered at the craftsmanship. They were simple flat walls, but hand carved from the stone they were made out of and perfectly smooth. Gregor had always respected the craftsmanship of the underlanders, but he never looked at it for what it was. Gregor stood and grabbed one more fruit for the road as he left. He walked out and bumped right into someone.

"Sor-" Gregor started before realizing who he had bumped into. "Luxa! What are you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed to walk around my own palace, Gregor?" She scoffed at him. Gregor was surprised by her response. That wasn't what he meant when he asked.

"Of course you can walk around," Gregor stammered out confused. "Can we talk?"

"What are we doing right now?" Luxa said derisively.

"Well talking. I meant can we talk about us."

"What is there to to talk about?" Luxa asked confused. Gregor shook his head and started to pace. Was she playing with him? Or had she forgiven him already? Knowing Luxa it was probably neither.

"You told me only a few days ago that we were basically done. Is that still the same? Have you forgiven me?" Gregor could hear himself pleading with her and he watched as her face softened a little.

"Gregor," she said softly. "This is not something for me to say easy. I am very confused right now. I am scared for you and of you. You-"

Gregor cut over her. "You're scared of me?" There was sadness in his voice now. His knees were growing weak and his fears were coming to fruition. His dream was seeming to be realer by the minute.

"I do not know, Gregor. You seem changed. You are not the same person I love. You are angry all the time. You can not control yourself. I did not think much of it for a long time because you did not act that way around me. I saw it first when you acted like a child with Eisen. And it got much worse. You yelled at people and you almost seemed to not be happy. I heard how you acted on the battlefield and around certain people and I started to get scared for you. And that is when you were arrested. I heard terrible stories of you attacking innocent guards and I feared you were lost. I came to visit you and to see with my own eyes if you had changed." She paused and looked Gregor in the eyes. He watched her face and for a second he thought he saw her eyes glow, but then her face dropped a little more than it already was.

"When I went to your cell you were a mess. I looked in your eyes like I had many times and I did not see Gregor. There was someone else in your eyes. I saw anger and rage. And then you yelled at me and I knew you weren't the same. You hadn't yelled at me since the first time you visited. It was not the Gregor I knew. I fought within myself to prove it was your circumstance, but now even after your trial I can see the anger in you. Not as bad as it was, but it is still there. It is not the soft hearted man I knew there. You are not the same."

"Luxa, I am the same. I'm still me. I still love you and I would never hurt you. You saw that all those times I was with you. I never did anything to you."

"You are right, Gregor. You never hurt me, but you hurt many others. You have come close to hurting yourself and killing yourself. You have become a terror to yourself and maybe to the underland." Luxa was on the verge of tears. Gregor took a step towards her, to console her, but she put up a hand. "No, Gregor. Not now. I still love you, but the real you. And right now you are not you." She turned and walked away.

Gregor stopped and stood stone still. His heart was beating as he watched her take each step in slow motion. She was right, he wasn't the same person. He had been changed for a while and it wasn't right. He had never been one to lose their temper easy and to get angry at a little thing. He would fix this.

"Luxa!" he called after her. She stopped for a second and turned her head slightly. "I promise I will fix this. Whatever it is I will make it all better. No matter what." She didn't reply, but she looked at him for a few seconds longer before she walked off again. Gregor put his hands behind his head and kept pacing. He could feel the anger inside him. He didn't even have to focus for the feeling to stick out. It was like a living thing inside him moving around in his chest and his head. It made him want to scream. And he was suddenly scared of himself. He didn't want to think about what was happening inside him. What was causing this. He just wanted it to all end. His first stop would be Vikus.

It took time for him to find Vikus. He walked through the halls and checked anywhere he thought he could find him. He poked his head into the tactics room and there was no sign of him. He checked Vikus' quarters and again there was no sign of him. He asked servants if they had seen him and he got various answers. Some told him they hadn't seen him and then he got told he was in his quarters or he was in the high hall or the dining room. One even told him that he was at the stadium for training. As far as Gregor knew there was no training that day.

His search wasted, Gregor solemnly trudged back to his room. To his surprise he found his weapons sitting on his bed with a new belt. His sadness turned to happiness as he looked at his sword and dagger. The blades were still plain, but the sight of them sent a shiver up his spine. He grabbed up the belt and fastened it around his waist. The feeling of the weight on his hip was more than welcome and he drew both blades from their scabbards. The sound was pure bliss to him. The blades shimmered in the torch light from the hall and Gregor looked in the blades at himself. His face was distorted, but the blades were polished to such a point that he could make out every detail of his face. And he was slightly surprised. He sheathed his blades and turned to the mirror in his room.

His face was thinner than it had been in recent times. It had been years since he hadn't had decent meals every day and being locked up for over week without them had made Gregor look more like his twelve year old self than he thought possible. The stubble on his face was the only thing that detracted from the look. He stared at his face for what seemed like hours as he focused on each aspect. He realized he was lucky that he didn't have any terrible scars on his face. The rest of his body was scarred from every little thing he did in the underland, but his face had been spared. For how long, Gregor couldn't tell, but he knew it eventually would come. Something clattered to the floor out in the hall and Gregor heard someone gasp. His hand reached for his sword and he inched to the door. He peeked out into the hall and moved into action.

His hand left his sword and he speedily came to the aid of his friend. Vikus was leaned up against the wall, his cane lying on the floor out of his reach. Gregor grabbed his arm and helped the man to regain his balance. He helped him into his room and sat him down in a chair before returning to get his cane. Gregor looked his friend in the eyes and looked for any sign of an issue. The idea he had suffered another stroke was the prominent thought in his head. Vikus responded when Gregor reached out and touched his arm. He smiled at Gregor and his eye returned to normal.

"Thank you Gregor, I am alright. I heard you were looking for me and I came to see what you needed. But I seemed to run out of juice, as overlanders say, right before I got to you room. Thank you for the help."

"Are you sure you are okay?" Gregor asked, making sure the old man wasn't fibbing to avoid looking weak.

"If I needed further assistance help I would ask Gregor. I appreciate your worry though. Now what were you looking for me about?" Vikus asked the question to draw attention from himself. Gregor pocketed that and put it in his mind to talk to Howard about his grandfather.

"I needed to talk to you about something is all," Gregor replied.

"It is about my Granddaughter, is it not?" Vikus asked back obviously knowing the answer before he even asked.

"When is it not about Luxa?" Gregor replied with a chuckle. Vikus let out a small laugh which seemed good for him. The stress everyone had been under had seemed to wear every down and Vikus most of all. A good laugh might be just what he needed.

"What has she done now?" Vikus answered back, curiosity overtaking the humor of the moment.

"I isn't something she did. It's me this time and I just need some help. Luxa and I are having a little trouble and it is all because of me."

"It cannot be all because of you. In a relationship there are two sides, Gregor. Whenever there is something going on it is both people's problem and both people's fault," Vikus replied his wisdom flowing out. But he didn't know what was going on.

"No, Vikus. This time it is all my fault. Luxa may be overreacting slightly, but she is right. I have something wrong and it is only getting worse. She made it clear that we can't work this one out, only I can work it out. I have to fix my problem or else there is no more me and her."

"That seems to be very much like my Granddaughter. She issues the ultimatum and waits for it to be solved without helping. I thought i had gotten her out of that stage." Vikus sat in wonderment at what he thought was something he had fixed. And yet he was wrong again.

"But she didn't," Gregor quickly shot back. "She told me to talk to you about my problem. She trusts you and believes in you that you can help me. She may have given me an ultimatum, but she gave me some help in working out my issues and realizing what was wrong before she sent me off with some names. Of course, your's was first on the list."

"What is your problem, Gregor?" Vikus asked stroking his chin with his hand and locking eyes with Gregor.

Gregor took a deep breath before starting. "Anger. I'm always angry and I didn't realize it for a long time. There was time I would feel angry, but it was often justified. I just never realized how angry I was getting especially when there wasn't a reason to be that angry. I screamed and yelled at people I would never have before. I argued with authority and placed myself in terrible spots because of it. I was hurting myself and others because of it and I never knew I was. I didn't notice until I had a dream and I felt angry after. I felt the fear I was causing and I was scared of myself. I don't know what's causing it."

"You have not talked to anyone else about this?"

"I talked to Howard briefly this morning about my feelings on it. He told me I was stressed and overthinking it. Luxa though doesn't think that. She knows me better than any other underlander and she can read my emotions so easily sometimes. She sees it in my eyes and she was starting to get scared of me. That's why I'm looking for answers. I mean I chewed her head off when I was imprisoned." Gregor stopped talking when he saw the strange look from Vikus. "What?"

What does chewed her head off mean?" Vikus asked with a smile.

"Umm, it means I yelled at her for no reason and really badly. But anyway, what do you think of this." Vikus sat quietly for some time. Gregor felt the other man's eyes study his face and his eyes. It was oddly silent and Gregor sat waiting for a response.

"I do not know what to think of this. You are obviously a unique person and have unique problems. I have not heard of this happening to anyone before. But I can see a tension in you, almost like you are going to break. Something is inside you and it is causing this. What it is I do not know. Perhaps it is part of you as a warrior, as a rager perhaps. Anger and rage do go hand in hand. They are as related as is fueled by rage and rage feeds anger. Perhaps you should talk with Ripred. He may have an idea of what is causing this in you."

"Ripred! Why didn't I think of that?" Gregor asked rhetorically.

"Perhaps because you spent so much time looking for me. I was for your information at the stadium."

"Why the stadium? There isn't any training today, is there?"

"Oh there is. We have had much news on the stingers movements since you were imprisoned. We are training soldiers every day, making sure they know exactly what they need to do. Ripred was there before I left to come find you. There is a chance he is still there." Vikus added the last part and kicked Gregor into action. As Gregor raced to the door Vikus spoke up again. "Would you be so kind as to send a servant to come and help me back to my chambers please."

"Of course, Vikus. I can help you instead, if you want."

"No, Gregor. You have a rat to catch. I'm sure there is someone around who can help me." Gregor shook his head and stepped out into the hall. To his surprise there was a servant right outside, just a few steps down the hall.

"Would you mind helping Vikus back to his chambers?" Gregor asked the servant. The man bowed to him and calmly walked into Gregor's room. Gregor didn't stay to watch as he was on the move. His heart was racing not because he was running, but because he was getting closer to solving this problem. There was a chance for an answer. Ripred knew everything about being a rager and if it had to do with that then Ripred would be the only person who could help him. Gregor's skidded to a halt on the balcony of the high hall.

"Hey, Ptolomus, I need your help," Gregor shouted out hoping the grouchy bat would come to help him. To his surprise a purple bat flew into his eye sight and landed right in front of him. "Artemese, I didn't know you were back."

"Yes, Overlander. I am back as you say. And I am honored to be able to help you again. Where are we in such a dire need of traveling to?"

"The stadium. I need to find Ripred," Gregor answered as he hopped onto the back of his flier companion. Artemese flapped his wings and they were off soaring above the city. The bat floated into the stadium and flew a loop around as Gregor scanned the ground for Ripred. But the rat was nowhere to be seen. "Artemese, can you land?"

"Of course," the bat replied as he circled his way down to the field. Gregor leaped off and looked around. A group of soldiers jogged past him and he reached out and grabbed one of them.

"Have you seen Ripred?" Gregor asked quickly, regretfully sounding like he snapped at the soldier.

"I saw him, but I do not know where he went." Gregor let the man go and went on looking. He asked several more soldiers if they knew where he was, but none of them knew. Gregor could feel his frustration turning into anger. The one thing he was trying to avoid happening was about to start happening if he didn't get himself under control and get an answer. He stopped moving around and deepened his breathing, which seemed to be the one thing that could control his building anger. His eyes slid closed and he held himself there taking breath after breath. He could see something coming up behind him with his echolocation. Something big. Gregor opened his eyes and turned around.

"There you are Ripred. I've been looking for you," Gregor said to the rat.

"I've noticed. I had half a platoon of me come and tell me," Ripred snarled back. "What is it you want?"

"Your help," Gregor replied. Ripred feigned surprise at the answer.

"You want my help. I'm shocked. What is it such a great warrior needs help with?"

"It's about my raging," Ripred let out a bark as if he was about to yell at Gregor, but Gregor looked him into silence. "I need to know if you can help me with something that may or may not be related to being a rager. I've been having issues controlling my anger as If I'm always angry. Do you know anything about this happening before." The rat studied Gregor for a second. He turned away and flicked his tail at Gregor.

"Follow me. We need to go somewhere more private." Gregor followed behind the rat. They went through a gate in the stadium wall and into a winding tunnel. The same tunnel Gregor had entered the stadium through seven years before. They took several turns both to the left and right and Gregor felt that he was totally lost. Finally, the tunnel came to an end with a cave that Gregor noticed was stocked with food items and some blankets.

"Where are we, Ripred?" Gregor asked a vague idea already in his head.

"This is my home. Very comely is it not?" Ripred replied with a sad bite behind his normally strong bark.

"That's… cool. I didn't realize you lived near the city. I figured you'd live with other gnawers," Gregor replied testing the waters a little.

"I live here sometimes, and I live out there sometimes. It depends on how I feel. Now enough of me. You are the problem right now. You said something about uncontrollable anger."

"Yea. It's always there and then it'll come and I'll say things I don't mean and do things I don't mean too. I think I'm lucky I haven't killed anyone yet," Gregor realized the last part was true. He was lucky that he hadn't murdered anyone yet.

"Why do you want this fixed anyway? Maybe you need to be angrier. Makes you harder to kill if you're angry at what's trying to kill you."

"Luxa is why I need this fixed. She doesn't want anything to with me and that is killing me. She says I'm not the same person anymore and I'm starting to agree with her. Do you have an idea of what's wrong with me or not?" Gregor snapped the last sentence out as he could feel his anger rising and he was getting annoyed with all the questions he was being asked. Vikus had done it and now Ripred was too.

"I might have an idea of what it is. I have smelled anger on you for weeks. Much more than normal for a human. It comes off of you even now and it isn't good. I looked into it, but no one could tell me why you would be so angry. So there was only one possible answer. Being a rager is the only possible answer. If I may say I believe your rager side has taken over all of your emotions and now you feel angry more often than not even when you would feel sad or happy. You act very stern and tactile like you would when you would be raging, but you do it all the time let alone when you are fighting. The chemicals in your body must be unbalanced and your rager side has taken over. Now tell me if I'm right: you started feeling this either during or after your fight with Eisen?" Gregor had to think. He had felt angry during the fight, but he was raging. And after he had felt really angry about the attack on the fount. But that was justified. Or was his extreme anger really that justified?

"I think you're right. During the fight with eisen I didn't start raging at the beginning. It was like it was stuck. And then he cut me and I lost it. We all know what happened after that.:

"You felt like you were going to die and your body reacted. Hmm, I may have an idea. I'll tell you on the way. Follow me."

A path of water followed Gregor as he walked through the halls of the palace. Everything was sticking to him and he got strange looks from every single person they passed. But Gregor hardly noticed. His mind was set. There was only thing he wanted to do. And only person he wanted to see. It had been less than a day since he had seen Luxa in the morning. And it was going to take quite a lot of convincing, he knew, to prove he had somehow change. That's why Ripred was coming. Two brains are always better than one. Even if Ripred was probably going to be as snarky about it as possible.

Nerves were not something Gregor usually felt, but at this moment he felt his stomach and knots and a whole swarm of butterflies fluttering around in that knot. This was a moment of all moments for him and he had to make sure he didn't make a mistake. If he said one thing that wasn't right, Luxa could be gone to him. He had to prove to her that he meant every word that he said and that he had indeed changed. The hardest part would be her seeing the change because it happened so quickly. He was so deep in his mind he didn't notice his way was blocked. By two gleaming, razor sharp swords.

"What is your business with the queen?" one of the guards asked snapping Gregor from his dreams. He sputtered for an answer, not sure even how to word it. Ripred rolled his eyes and took over.

"Move. We have something important to report to the queen. I think she'd rather be disturbed then to find out she wasn't informed. And we all know how our queen gets when she is angry." The guards shared a look and then stepped aside. Gregor noticed a relieved look in the guards eyes as they passed. The usually hardened men that guarded the queen's chambers seemed to only be scared of the person they protected. Or at least when she got angry. Even he got a bit scared when Luxa was angry.

The doors to Luxa's chamber was right in front of them and Gregor stopped to collect himself. His mind raced trying to piece together what he was going to say. The sound of Ripred's tail constantly slapping the ground pierced into his head and he reached his hand up to knock on the door. He heard a noise behind the door and he stopped himself from knocking.

"Get on with it, boy," Ripred snarled through clenched teeth. Gregor raised his hand to knock again and the door flew open in front of him. Luxa stood there in a nightgown, her hair flowing down her back. Thomas sat on the floor next to her.

"Why are you here in my chambers?" she asked sternly, her eyes boring into them. Gregor could tell she wasn't angry at them. Her voice had a calmness to it that Gregor hadn't noticed before. And all he did was smile dumbly.

"Is something wrong with, Gregor?" Luxa asked Ripred who sat on the floor next to him.

"As far as I know, he's fine." Ripred said rolling his eyes again. Gregor glanced at him before looking back at Luxa.

"Can we go in your room and talk?" Gregor asked, disliking standing in the hall where any passing servant could see them.

"Not until you tell me why you are here, Gregor. I believed we had talked much earlier and we did not have much else to say to each other." Luxa replied and this time Gregor could feel something in her words. She sounded like she didn't really want to see him.

"Well, that's why I'm here. I fixed my problem. I'm better. No more anger. No more aggression. Just Gregor." He looked her in her eyes hoping to see something. Anything that told him she believed him. They stood like that for several seconds both of them looking into the others eyes. And then Luxa laughed.

"Gregor, I know you love me and want everything to be better, but things do not get fixed that quickly. It takes time. You cannot be fixed already." Gregor was devastated. He tried his best. He told her he was fixed, but that wasn't enough.

"You should trust him, Luxa. Think about it, if he was still having anger issues would he have not just yelled at you uncontrollably? Would you not see anger in his eyes?" Ripred yawned before continuing. "Look at him Luxa. I fixed his problem and he is better. I saw it. Now you must see it. I'll leave you two to figure it out for yourselves." The rat sprang to his feet and scampered off back out of the royal chambers. Gregor stood transfixed, his eyes cast down to the floor.

"Gregor, look at me," Luxa commanded. Gregor brought his gaze up and looked Luxa in the eyes. He stared at her purple irises and reveled in how beautiful they were. He always loved her eyes. Luxa's face was set like stone, her mouth down and her features featureless. She stared Gregor in the eyes. And then she slowly started to melt. Her mouth moved up a little. Her cheeks gained a bit of color and her eyes started to sparkle a little.

"Come here Gregor. You are back," Luxa said and she spread her arms out for a hug. Gregor stepped into the embrace and placed his chin on Luxa's head. He pulled her in tight, not wanting to let her go. He hadn't had contact with her in so long, the hug felt like a part of him that had been missing. He felt a warm tear bead up in the corner of his eye. He blinked it away and focused on the girl in his arms.

Luxa pulled back then. "Why are you so wet?" she asked as she stared at Gregor's wet clothes.

"It's a long story," Gregor said back.

"We have plenty of time for you to tell it," Luxa replied as she grabbed Gregor's hand and pulled him into her chambers. The sitting room was warm from a blazing fire in the hearth and it was welcoming to Gregor. He felt the heat drying his still soaked clothes as he sat down on the floor in front of it. Thomas came waddling over to him.

"Hi," the little boy said and put his arms out. Gregor pulled him in and gave him a big hug. He didn't realize how much he had missed this little guy since he had been gone. Thomas squirmed away from him and looked defiantly into Gregor's eyes. "Wet," he said.

"Yes, Thomas. Gregor is wet," Luxa said to Thomas as she sat on one of the couches. The little boy ran to Luxa and climbed onto the couch next to her. He snuggled up and was asleep within minutes. "He sleeps like this most nights," Luxa said breaking the silence. "Now tell me, why are you leaving a pool of water on my floor?"

"Ripred nearly drowned me," Gregor replied with a devilish smile.

"He did what?" Luxa said loudly. Gregor could see she was starting to get angry and he got up and moved closer to her. He put a finger on her lips and pointed to Thomas.

"You'll wake him up." Luxa nodded that she understood, but he could still see her fuming behind her eyes. "Now Ripred nearly drowned me because we had an idea that I was having anger issues because my rager side was constantly turned on, but I wasn't raging. Does that make sense?" Luxa nodded again and Gregor continued. "It started after my fight with Eisen and we thought it started because I almost died during the fight and I lost a lot of blood while raging. So we thought I had an unbalanced chemical shift in my body. And thus we tried to kill me while I wasn't raging to see if it fixed the chemical balance. It worked and I'm sitting here now without an ounce of extra anger in me."

"So you had to almost die to fix yourself?" Luxa asked and Gregor nodded in agreement. And then she hit him in the arm. "You almost died and you didn't tell me you were going to do that."

"You didn't seem to want to talk to me," Gregor replied back calmly. He leaned forward and kissed Luxa. She kissed him back. They sat like that for a while, quiet except for the occasional sound of the fire or of Thomas breathing. Gregor remembered Luxa's injury then. She was obviously okay as she was up and moving, but he had to make sure.

"Luxa, how do you feel?" He asked her. She looked at him her eyes asking him what he meant. "I didn't see you for days and when they put me away, you were still in the hospital."

"Oh, Gregor," she said and leaned over and pecked him on the cheek. "My aunt tells me I am okay, but I must not push myself to much. Nothing too physically exerting she said. I must rest and let my body heal itself."

"That's good. At least you are okay and on the last bit of recovery. Worst part is when you're on your feet, but still can't do anything." Gregor said knowing just what she must be feeling.

"Of course you know about that. But you never followed the rules anyway. You thought you were cooler than that." Gregor smiled when he heard Luxa say cooler. It reminded him of the first time he ever met her and he used the word. Everything came flooding back to him.

"You learned that from me," Gregor said with a laugh.

"Learned what?" Luxa replied back her brow furrowed.

"Cooler. Remember the first time we ever met and I said cooler because I was trying to be cool… that's so long ago."

"Yes it is. So many years and so many adventures." The two sat and talked for hours about all of their adventures. The told each other how they felt when they were out in the wild, surviving. Gregor reminisced about all of his scars and all the dumb things he had done to get them all. Most of all they talked about the pain it had all caused. Both of them had lost so much to it all.

"Sometimes I still dream about it. I feel the things I did then and I see myself as a twelve year old girl doing all of those things. I hate those dreams."

"I have em too, sometimes," Gregor confirmed with her. "My fight with the bane sometimes replays through my head. I haven't had that one in a long time, though. Recently, I've been having much better dreams. Much prettier dreams."

"And what are those dreams of?"

"You," Gregor said with a smile. Luxa blushed and she really blushed. Se cupped Gregor's face and kissed him.

"I love you, Gregor the overlander."

"I love you, too," Gregor replied. He meant it more than he had ever before. His words held more meaning then he ever though they had. He felt lost without Luxa and he was going to keep her with him as long as possible. Luxa stood and took both of Gregor's hands.

"It is time to sleep, my warrior." And they retired for a night that both of them would remember for a long time.

This is the longest thing I have ever written guys. Really need the reviews on this one because I have no clue if I kept it good throughout the entire piece or not. I wrote it at so many different times that it maybe good at one part and then really bad at another. So please leave me some feedback.

Question: Would you like the story to have some darker elements or not? I have some ideas, but I don't know how you guys will react because they are kinda dark.