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Disclaimer- I dont own SWAC. Or I'm Sorry
~Kayla. :)
I'm Sorry
Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried,
it's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry!
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue,
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds,
and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say
I'm sorry.
After our date Chad brought me home.
"Uhh," He said blushing. Ha. At least I am not the only one. "I had a really great time."
"Me too." I said looking down.
"Um." He scratched his head. "Maybe we could do this again?"
I bit my lip and nodded.
He smiled. "Ill talk to you tommorow."
We stared at each other. Im pretty sure I shrank.
To fill the moment, before I could resist he put his lips on mine.
I pushed him away. He looked down.
"Chad I-" He sighed.
Then he shook his head and started to walk away.
Without turning around I heard something come out of his mouth.
"Talk to you tommorow." He said quietly.
I could have chased after him. Throw my arms around his neck and kiss him. But I didnt.
And I regreted it.
"Sooooo?" Tawni said immeadiatly as I walked into our dressing room. I rolled my eyes. "How did it go?" She squealed.
I plopped down on the couch.
"Well after I called you freaking out, I did the ice thing and.." I stopped.
"And what?" She said losing her paitence.
"He asked about my parents.." She gave me a sympathetic look. "Then I spat out all the water.. On him."
She put her hand over my mouth like I did.
"Then he slipped on the floor and fell down and we started laughing." She giggled. "Then he took me home.." I frowned.
Tawni didnt. She gasped. "Did you kiss?"
"We did. It was quick.. I pushed him away." She raised her eyebrows.
She sighed. And then smiled. She changed the subject and started talking about how Chad fell on the ground.
Two weeks later.
Chad and I have been dating... Well sorta.
When I talked to him after our first date he wasnt angry. I have no idea why not. But he wasnt.
We have gone out pretty much everyday.
They say were in a relationship.
But we both know thats not true. After every date he leans in and I pull away.
You want to know why? I have no idea. Tawni and Lucy think its because I dont want to get to close to him.
And maybe thats it. Like I said I dont know.
I still have no idea why he wont dump me. Or why I wont dump him.
I guess its because we like each other to much to give it up. I hope it gets better.
My mother thinks things are going great and its helping me.. I just cant let her worry about me.
Let me just go to the part where it kind of gets interesting.
Chad was on our way home from our like 10th date.
We got out of the car and we walked up to my door in my apartment building.
I smiled at him and motioned for the door.
He grabbed my hand and held it down by his side.
He leaned toward me.
I looked down. He dropped my hand and I looked back up to him.
He shook his head.
He started to walk away.
"You know what? No." I looked away. "What is wrong with you?" He asked me.
"Noth-"
"No. Dont make excuses. We have been dating 2 weeks. You wont kiss me now... I dont know why."
"I just.. I just dont think Im.."
"Comfortable? Ready?" He finished for me. "Arent you the girl who came up to me randomly in the cafeteria and kissed me?"
I nodded in defeat.
"We havent broken up because.. I like you. A lot. And I like being with you so much."
I started to smile but then frowned.
"Sonny?" He asked eyes wide. "Do you like me? At all?"
"Yeah. I do."
"Then why wont you kiss me again? When I kissed you.. It was diffrent then anyone else."
A stroke of jealousy went through me. I thought about those other girls.
"Sonny. Its not like theres been many." He said almost laughing.
"I want to know whats wrong. I need too.. if you dont like me.. Its ok." His voice cracked on the last part.
"I dont know if I can tell you.." I began.
"Theres somebody else?" He said sadly.
"No!"
"Well then what?"
I grabbed him into the living room.
My voice cracked. "I- I just dont want to get to close to.. to you."
"But why?"
"Because someone else loved me.. a lot. I was.." I gulped. "I was really, really close to him."
"An ex-boyfriend?"
I shook my head no. "It was my dad." My voice cracked.
"Is he.. dead?" I wish. Im sorry thats not nice to say.
I shook my head no.
"Chad?" I said in a serious tone. "He abused me."
He had no answer to that. I was shaking. He pulled me into a hug.
Then I started crying. I havent cried to anyone in weeks. I just had cried because of my dreams.
I continued. "He loved me.. I was closer to him then to my mom.. He was drunk. He hit me. Then kept doing it until my mother found out..."
I kept crying.
"We moved.. hes in jail."
I cried into him ruining his shirt more then his jacket on our first date.
He then picked me up and carried me to the couch. I was still crying just not balling.
He put me down and sat. He wrapped his arms around me and I put my head onto his chest.
He was really warm. He smelled really good too.
I laid there and eventually fell asleep. For the first time I didnt have a bad dream.
I didnt know when my mom came in. When I woke up it was 8 at night.
I opened my eyes still next to Chad.
"You slept for about an hour and a half." He said.
I nodded.
"Wheres my mom?"
"Shes in her room."
I remembered what happened before I went to sleep.
Another tear rolled down my face.
Chad wiped my tear with his thumb.
"No more crying." I nodded. "Im sorry for being a jerk."
"Chad-"
"No. I was. You just didnt want to get to close to me. You didnt want to get hurt."
I gave him a hug.
"Thanks for understanding." I said and smiled.
"Weeell. Look whos up?" My mother walked in.
"Uh Hi." I said.
"So you um. Told him?" I nodded. To my surprise she smiled.
The phone rang.
"Oh Ill get it."
I smiled and turned to Chad. He leaned in. This time I did too. Something stopped us.
"Sonny!" My mom yelled at me.
"Yeah mom?" I laughed and sighed.
She came running in huffing and puffing. I turned to her.
"Mom? Whats wrong? Who was on the phone?"
"Sonny." She said without any breath. "It was your father."
Authors Note.
GASP. Soo how was the twist? Hmmm? Amazing?
Lol. I was even getting nervous writing it. Haha.
Anyway. I love reviews. When I get on my email and get one I get soooo excited! :)
I hope you loved it. Next chapter hopefully soon. Hope you dont mind me updating alot.
I get so excited to write. I still dont know whats going to happen next!
Love you soo much!
~Kayla