Chapter 7
"Hi Rusty, hi Robyn," Kendall said, giving us the fakest smile ever. "Why are you here?"
"The only reason to go here, shopping," Robyn said, jerking her head to the jeans draped over my arm. Kendall smiled again, and went to the stall right next to the mirror, leaving the door wide open. She started to take off her tight clothes as her two robots today, Olivia and Skylar, went to sit in the stall opposite her.
Nigel chose then to defy Robyn and whined, "I'm not listening to you!" as he came out of his stall, still in that hideous outfit. He pranced over to the mirror, stopped in front of it, and struck several poses that only female models ever did.
"Nigel, get the hell in your stall!" Robyn said. He turned, his hands on his hips and his face pouting like a toddler. "NOW."
"I can never do anything!" he said, stomping his foot. He stomped over to his stall, and slammed the door. Before he closed it, though, he decided for the grand finale to be him dragging his foot backwards on the floor like he was kicking the dust in Robyn's face.
There was a silence, broken by Kendall, because she always has to say things first. "The maniacs they let out in the streets these days," she said, her voice purposefully loud so we'd hear. Robyn and I flipped her stall off.
"Come on, let's go inside before we have to see her in her underwear," Robyn said. I opened the door to the stall in front of us, and we went in. And then we heard the commentary and fake-praise and envy and all the other crap from Olivia and Skylar.
"OMG, your hips are, like, so thin."
"That shirt makes your boobs look good."
"Your hair looks great; it's so silky and smooth."
"OMG, like, you look sooo, like, totally...HOT in those jeans. Sexy," Robyn said, mimicking the Royalty's voice. "You're, like, going to KILL some boys at the ball, Rusty."
"Shh! Keep it down," I said, giggling like a maniac. I looked in the direction of the Royalty, which now had gone deathly silent.
"Rusty, don't tell me to quiet down," Robyn said in her normal voice. "Hell, we should get Nigel over here. Nigel!" Robyn said, leaning out the door. I slowly went to the floor, giggling. This was the most fun I'd ever had in my life!
"Wait, wait, wait, they're leaving," Robyn said excitedly. "Oh yeah, shake that skeleton! Shake those bones! These girls don't have shit. Americans," she muttered. I collapsed in another fit of giggling. I wasn't American, so what the hell? Might as well enjoy the happiest time of my life.
"I wouldn't be laughing so hard if I were you," Olivia said, stopping by our door.
"Yeah, that's right; Rusty, something might pop out," Robyn said, giggling herself.
"No," Olivia said, rolling her eyes with disgust at us. "Kendall's getting security because you're breaking the rules." We stopped laughing. "You had two people in the stall, and you were saying put-downs."
"What?" I said angrily.
"Actually, I was complimenting Rusty," Robyn said, snootily correcting Olivia. Olivia smirked and went off to go back to the mother ship. Nigel started to come out of his stall as she passed, still wearing his outfit. Olivia shoved her shoulder so the door, which wasn't all the way open, closed and he fell back into the stall.
"Nigel!" Robyn cried. She had her hand on the door of his stall when she turned to yell after Olivia. "Hey, you know it's against the rules to leave the stall door wide open and blind people too, eh!" She grabbed a shoe from the floor and threw it at the door as Olivia slipped out. "Bitch," Robyn muttered.
"Are you in trouble?" Nigel said, emerging from the stall again.
"Nigel!" Robyn cried, swooping over to him and hugging him. "My poor little baby!"
Nigel's eyebrows went up, and his eyes darted over to me. "Kendall's getting security because we were making fun of her," I said.
"And because we were both in the stall," Robyn said in a constipated voice, leaving Nigel. She sighed angrily. "I'm gonna go and find the manager. Nigel, change your clothes." Robyn left after making sure Nigel was in the stall. I went back into the stall to try on the rest of my clothes.
"Can you believe Kendall made us leave?" Olivia's voice said. I froze and quickly pulled the pants over my butt and zipped it up. I jumped up on the small bench in my stall, just as Olivia made Skylar look to see if I was there. Skylar didn't look all the way and didn't see me. I gave a quiet sigh of relief.
"At least she told us the big secret," Skylar said, going into the stall next to me. I heard zipping, and saw a dress on the floor of her stall. I gave a quiet sigh as I figured out she was trying on dresses for the ball.
"I know," Olivia said, taking her annoying voice to an excited level. "I felt so sorry for Amanda ever since Funchess broke up with her. He only deserves the trashiest bitch, right?" I listened more intently. What were they talking about?
"I know. And know Kendall can make sure they do whatever she wants because she knows that Robyn is friends with a gay person," Skylar said. "What does gay mean, anyway?"
"Skylar, you're, like, fifteen, and you still don't know what it means? I bet you don't even know what me and Kendall do when we go upstairs during the balls with our boyfriends!" Olivia exclaimed. Oh, God, that's just wrong, I thought. The poor Sisters' of Saint Katharina's hopes of calling off sin by letting Kendall host the dances were in vain.
"I thought Kendall said you play games," Skylar said, the confusion coming out in her voice. I rolled my eyes. Skylar was short, like me, but she still looked and acted like she was ten; Kendall thought she was adorable, which is probably why they're such great friends.
"Of course we play games, Skylar," Olivia said. I felt like I was going to throw up.
A door at the other end of the room slammed shut. I heard footsteps, and remembered Robyn had gone to talk to the manager. "ROYALTY BITCHES, IF YOU'RE NOT OUT OF HERE IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS, I WILL PERSONALLY BRING YOU TO HELL MYSELF!" Robyn yelled, walking to the end of the room. I went down to the floor and looked under the door, counting to five as she walked to the stall Olivia and Skylar were in. I reached five just as she stopped. Robyn beat her fist against the door.
Skylar opened the door. "Look," she said, her high voice trying to sound ticked off. "This is a public store, where I can get clothes that I need, that I want, for the ball I want to go to. Now leave me alone before I call security and get you kicked out, forever. And, by the way, you might think you're tough, but you're still a loser that won't be able to get a date to the ball and is still afraid to get up on the stage in drama. Here's a tip," Skylar said, leaning forward, "forget trying to be an actress. You need to be born with it, Robyn; it's a talent that you either have that makes you beautiful and popular," Skylar looked down her nose at Robyn's old jeans, faded shoes, and worn out shirt, "or you don't have, which makes you weird and ugly. Take the hint and get out of my face," Skylar said, her arms crossed, and her face waiting for Robyn to go away.
Robyn was frozen. There was neither anger nor fear, nor happiness or sadness, but just completely blank; it was scary. Skylar then got impatient or something like that, and started turning back to the stall. Bad move.
At the slight movement Robyn unfroze, and the transformation was instant. Before I could blink, Robyn had pushed Skylar's shoulder so she spun back so they were face-to-face, and then Robyn's left fist thrust forward. There was a slight crack, a millisecond of silence, and then a high-pitched scream cut through the air as Skylar's reflexes caught up with the action. She clutched at her now bleeding nose with her delicate hands, the blood flowing like Niagara Falls. She ran past Robyn, sobbing hysterically. Robyn stood with her shoulders back as she panted.
"What is wrong with you?" Olivia exclaimed, coming out of the stall. "How could you do that to poor, innocent Skylar?"
"Excuse me?" Robyn said. "Did you hear the shit she said to me?"
"She said everything that was true," Olivia said, crossing her arms. "You are weird, and a loser."
There was a rustle of clothes, and the next second Olivia let out a frantic cry, reaching up to touch her now black eye tenderly. Robyn grabbed her by the back of the neck, and shoved her toward the changing room entrance, as if she was just a little dog that had just chewed up the sofa, tinkled on the bed, and was barking her head off to a motorcyclist who was easily ticked off. As it was, Olivia's feet left the floor a couple inches because of the height of Robyn's rage. Stumbling into the door, Olivia looked back at Robyn with fear and rushed out of the door.
I stood up and cautiously opened the stall door. Robyn spun around, her face a mask of rage, and I involuntarily flinched. Seeing that it was me, Robyn unclenched her bruised fists, and walked over. She looked down, and I was worried, because I'd heard everything that Skylar had said, too. I was about to say something, but then Robyn said unexpectedly, "I've been wanting to do that for years." She looked up then, and relief filled me as she grinned.
There was a creak, and we turned to see one of the stall doors opening. Nigel peeked out. "Are they gone?" he hissed.
"No, they just went over to go—"
"Robyn!" We all turned to see Kendall walk in the door.
"Get the mother ship," I muttered. Kendall had a smirk on her face as she walked towards us that made me feel queasy.
"I know your secret," she sang.
"What secret?" Robyn barked.
"You know, your secret," Kendall sang, gleefully moving in a sort of dance that looked like it was supposed to be attractive.
"If you know the damn secret, then tell me." Robyn said. Oh no; I remembered the conversation Skylar and Olivia had had.
"No, no, no, it's a secret..." Kendall said, smirking. "I'm going to go make sure security isn't having any trouble getting to the changing rooms." She went to the door, and whispered, "Secret," one more time before she slipped through.
"What the hell is she smoking?" Robyn muttered.
"Robyn," I said, and told her about Kendall's plan. Nigel went out of his stall and had his in-put on the news, as well, since he didn't want to feel 'out of the loop', as he put it.
"So they're planning on you going out with Funcheesie?" Robyn said. I nodded. She pursed her lips, and then her face changed. "I've got a plan—no, forget that, I've had a revelation! Nigel," he looked skeptically at her, "I'm going to need you."
"Right in here, Security," Kendall's voice drifted in.
"Shit!" I said.
"Quick, get in the stall!" Robyn said, shoving us in the stall behind me. "Rusty, get on the bench." I jumped on the bench, which wouldn't be seen if someone opened the door. "Nigel," Robyn quickly told him her revelation. I stifled a laugh.
"No!" was his response. "Yes!" Robyn said.
"No!" Nigel said stubbornly.
"Yes, Nigel!" Robyn said, slapping him. "Look, you want to be banned from your favorite store?"
Nigel looked down. "No," he said sullenly.
"Okay. If you do this for me, I'll do whatever you want," Robyn said.
Nigel's head perked up. "Even get me a chance with that cute—"
"Yes, anything! Now shut up and do as I say," Robyn said, taking off her shirt and threw it on the ground, her top now only covered by her dark blue sports bra. She took out her ponytail, wrapped her arms around Nigel's neck and her legs around his waist. She moved his hand to the back of her head and the other to her waist, and put her mouth on his to make the best and worst kiss ever just as the door burst open.
There are some things in life that may seem so intense and funny at the same time, but then something else happens that makes the first thing seem like nothing. Say at the store that day.
The look on Kendall's face—priceless! She could've caught whales in her mouth!