Derek wouldn't talk to me for the whole drive to La Push. On occasion he would glance at me with his piercing blue eyes. Maybe it was a bad idea to steal Bella's truck and attempt to hitch-hike. At least I wasn't attacked by some psycho werewolf, unless Derek counted.
I chuckled at that last thought.
Derek shot me another cold glance, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.
Then we finally pulled into the driveway to Jacob/Derek's house, ending the most uncomfortable car ride of my life. Derek came and opened my door. He then pulled me out by my arm and swung me over his shoulder. He then headed towards the house.
"I can walk," I said. Derek's breathing was very heavy. Either I was heavy or he was still pissed off.
"No," Derek said between his teeth. "Knowing you, you might try to run off."
I can't believe he would think that I'd do something like that! Well, actually he kind of does have a point. I have been a pretty horrible imprint. "I promise I won't," I said.
Derek paused and he stood right in front of the door to the house. "I-I don't believe you," he said in a shaky voice.
Ouch! That hurt.
Derek then set me down on my feet and grabbed a hold of my shoulders. He then lowered his face so that our noses touched. I knew that Derek wouldn't do anything to hurt me, but it was still a little frightening seeing him this way. His face was wearing angry, hurt, sad. At least Jacob was inside and I could yell for his help if things went bad.
"Why do you hate me?" Derek asked, tears starting to pour down his face. "I love you."
I just stared back into his now red and puffy eyes. "I-I don't," I stammered.
Derek looked saddened even more. "You don't love me?" he asked, sounding as if his heart broke.
I thought this over for a while. I found myself realizing that I do in fact love this guy standing right in front of me. The very thought of never being able to see him again made a lump grow in my throat and made my breathing get hard. "I-," I stopped myself and thought again.
Usually when I loved someone, they totally didn't want it. Was it truly different with Derek? When I had once told Uncle Henry I loved him (like how relatives should love one another) he just rolled his eyes. I think that Derek wouldn't do that.
"I do," I said. "I do love you… I think."
"You think?" Derek asked me, sounding a little calmer, but he still had great pain in his voice.
How could I explain this one? "Well, I'm not sure what love is exactly," I said. "However, when I'm around you, I feel so secure, but I'm also scared."
"You shouldn't be scared. I can protect you."
"No… I'm scared of you."
Derek looked even more saddened again. "You should know that I'll never hurt you."
"No," I said again. "I'm scared that you'll see how… horrible I am. I mean, my own father didn't want me and my uncle even sent me away. I'm scared that once you see the real me, you'll hate me." Then that stupid lump in my throat somehow got bigger and tears, real tears, started to fall from my eyes.
"I could never hate you," Derek said, pulling me into his chest. He even began to rub my back. "I love you."
"I love you too," I whispered.
Derek then lifted up my face so that I faced him again. I think I know where this is going.
He then smashed his lips down on mine. It didn't come that much as a shock to me, until he forced his tongue into my mouth. I'll admit it, this was my first kiss ever. I've never kissed any of my past girlfriends because one was fat and might have eaten my tongue, one had stinky breath, and the other didn't believe in kissing until after a year of dating.
We both stood on the porch kissing until the rain began to fall.
"Let's go inside," Derek said as he opened the door. He led me to his room. I laid down the bed and fell asleep in his arms.