Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, Oda does.

Familly Affairs

Episode 5

The day which enacted Luffy's startling disclosure dawned cloudy. There was no threat of rain but there was no premise of sun either, not even a glimpse of blue sky. The Earth's ceiling was destined to be painted gray though, metaphorically speaking, the weather did not in any way mirror Luffy's temper. His life was back on track with no complications relating his brother or his friends. The strange chain of turmoil that had sprung up not even a week ago was downright forgotten. All was right in the world once again, such as the future of a hero foretells. Notwithstanding, a few troubles were ready to pop along Luffy's way. He was just a few hours away from the fall. The place where the trigger was to happen was his school, fact which immediately justifies why it could not be prevented. The event was quite a meant-to-be given the circumstances, and, even if it did not happen, Luffy would eventually come to the conclusion it was going to produce.

After parting ways with Ace, Luffy entered the high school gates and met Usopp by the front steps. They walked inside while chatting about the stupidest thing ever and after changing their shoes they headed for their classroom. There they met Zoro, already asleep on his desk and producing a prodigious pool of drool, and a few meters away from him were Vivi and Nami. The red haired girl instantly waved at them and gestured Luffy to come closer. Usopp, who stood next to him, gulped.

"We only just arrived and you're already doomed? I'll pray for you, my comrade" he said to Luffy resting a hand on his shoulder. Luffy nodded a silly grunt and approached Nami.

"You know, I'm beginning to tire myself of this delivery deal" she said with a furrowed eyebrow. Nami turned around in her chair to pick up something and then placed it on top of her desk. It was a bento-lunch box wrapped in a nice flower-pattern cloth.

"I still can't believe that crazy story Nojiko told me… that Boa girl must be really cuckoo up in the head to cook you all these bentos every day. And you were unbelievably rude to her as well. It's a wonder Ace didn't make you apologize to her- Do you remember my sister telling you that story Vivi? When you visited last weekend?"

"Of course. But, I can understand. She fell in love with Luffy-kun at first sight, how cute" Vivi replied with a giggle. Nami could not but glare at her friend. She could barely begin to understand the concept of falling in love with that rubber-brain idiot.

Luffy picked up the bento with a grin.

"Have you even thanked her for that?"

"Who, Snake-girl?"

"Yes! And it's not Snake-girl, moron! Boa! Call people by their names!"

"I don't remember her very well, but sure! The next time I see her I'll give her a big thanks. These bentos are really good!!" Luffy said pleased. He was truly thankful for the delicious lunches, though he didn't know why the Boa-girl sent them. Now that all the misunderstandings had been cleared up, he would certainly have no problems with meeting her again.

"I still don't get why she asks Nojiko to give them to Luffy" Nami kept rambling "I mean, I'm the one who ends up doing all the work and, if she likes Luffy so much, wouldn't giving him the bento-boxes be a good excuse to see him? Tsk, I really don't understand college students… I thought they were supposed to be mature!"

"She's a girl in love, maybe she is shy" Vivi tried to rationalize, yet her argument did not prove itself valid. Nami was on a hateful ranting roll, thus unstoppable.

"Shy! How shy?! As far as I know, she sure had a sharp tongue! If that had been me instead of idiotic Luffy here I would have told her some!" Nami said clenching her fist. Vivi sighed kindheartedly and shot a glance at the clock above the blackboard.

"It's already ten minutes past the class hour, where could Smoker-sensei be?"

"Filling those lungs with putrid smoke of course" Nami retorted annoyed.

Luffy was back to his seat with his new bento. He placed it next to the one Ace prepared and slouched happily in his seat daydreaming about his anticipated lunch hour. Usopp, who sat in front of him, turned around to chat while the teacher remained absent.

"- and I was just about to turn a corner when I met Chopper. The old hag had asked him to go to Franky's to buy a few wood boards, who knows what she wants to do with those- anyway, I offered him some help but when we got there Franky was nowhere in sight. I called those two funny sisters that help him now and then but they were not inside either. We walked around his shop for a while and even peeked inside a window to his workshop. Nothing. We rang Kokoro-san's bell next door and you won't believe who was there!"

"Who? Chimney and Gonbe?"

"No, dunce! They are always there! I mean Iceburg! Iceburg!"

"Eeeehhh!!!" Luffy said surprised "He still has that mouse?"

"Who cares?! Can't believe you still remember that…"

Luffy was about to make another random question when the classroom door opened. An awful smell of cigarettes instantly spread throughout the room, though it did not belong to their very late teacher. A mop of blonde hair nullified that premise. Sanji slid the door close behind him with unnecessary brutality and moved towards his seat. Most of the students in the class ignored him since they were already used to the blond' strange temper, yet, Usopp could not help himself a comment at the sight of his friend.

"Something happened with Sanji? I never saw him so grumpy"

"Dunno" was Luffy's simple answer.

"I've seen him furious many times, but what could have happened this time? He should quit his part-time job if it bothers him that much…" Usopp digressed away.

Luffy was too enthralled with his upcoming lunch hour to worry about anything else. He had faith in his friend and believed, as he always did, that by the next break Sanji would be already dancing around and flirting with girls. Not to worry, he told himself. Nevertheless the break came and Sanji was sulking in a corner. He didn't even get up from his seat. Nami pressured Usopp to make an approach but it didn't do much. When Usopp returned he shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

"What did he say?" Nami asked. They were reunited by Luffy's table, which was best positioned to survey Sanji's spot.

"Nothing. He just grunted something when I asked if he was ok"

"Tsk. You're useless, now you go Luffy. Go on, go on. Quick!" Nami urged. She poked Luffy's shoulder but he complained before standing.

"Why me? He's not going to say anything new… you go!"

"Yeah, you go Nami. Sanji's a different human being if it's you" Usopp agreed with a nod.

The three began arguing heatedly. Nami refused to go because she believed Sanji would just flatter her and say not one thing seriously. Luffy was too sluggish to go and thought Sanji was perfectly fine. Usopp was trying to back up Luffy and convincing Nami to go. When their discussion began reaching unbelievable loud levels one person brought them to silence. Involuntarily apparently. Zoro's head lifted up with amazing speed. He might have woken up from a bad dream. He looked around, scanning his surroundings and then stared at them.

"It's morning already?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" was Nami and Usopp's raging reply.

Zoro ignored their reaction and scratched his head. He stretched his arms and then looked at the clock. His nonchalant face was not taken by surprise. Missing a class sleeping was a trifle to the marimo head.

"Hey listen…" the three friends began whispering with each other while shooting weird glances at him. Zoro frowned.

"What are you mumbling about? Uh?" he asked annoyed.

"Oi Zoro! Come here!" Usopp called. Zoro lifted a curious eyebrow and proceeded to get up from his seat. He was about to stretch his legs completely when another loud noise interrupted them. Sanji left his place and sped out of the room with such speed that some people even had to rub their eyes to make sure they saw something move.

"What's up with him?" Zoro wondered with a tinge of irritation.

The group standing by Luffy's desk sighed.

It was only during lunch break that most of the mystery was solved, at least for those who were lucky, or unlucky, enough to presence the following event. Luffy was a sure bystander. He was wandering around the corridors looking for Usopp when he caught a glimpse of him near the stairs to the rooftop.

"Ah, there he is… OI! Usopp! Wait a minute! I want your leftovers! OI!" Luffy yelled.

When he got to the stairs he peeked up. There was not a shadow climbing towards the roof. Luffy pouted. Could his friend have gone down to the first floor? Luffy peeked down. There were a couple of students moving about but no sigh of Usopp. Hmmm, Luffy deliberated for a moment and decided to go up to the rooftop. He could not think of any reason why Usopp would go down to the first year's floor so up he went. He quickly reached the final landing and opened the door outside. He heard some shouts and looked around for their source.

"Usopp?" he wondered out loud.

No one answered him. Luffy stood by the doorframe calmly trying to discern the voices. They were quite familiar. Both rough and angry. Luffy took a step forwards, as if trying to catch more, yet all came into view when Zoro and Sanji's frames appeared from the right side of the rooftop. They were obviously fighting, with a few scratches and wounds plastered on their features. Luffy sighed. He had lost count to the times he had tried to put an end to one of their fights and got himself injured. Ace always scolded him after that and bandaged his bruises.

"Here we go…" Luffy muttered. He began walking up to the two hoodlums but they were awkwardly unaware of him. Zoro punched Sanji in the gut, propelling him backwards and they disappeared from Luffy's sight once again. A water tank blinded Luffy's vision.

"Damn" Luffy picked up his pace and went around the tank, yet, when he finally found Zoro and Sanji's figures they were no longer brawling like before, rather the opposite. Zoro was kissing a very shy and blushing Sanji that was wrestling to get out of the marimo's grip.

Luffy immediately stepped back. He hid himself behind the water tank and cowered. His heart was beating a million per second, his brain panicking the hell out of his mind. Mortification and confusion were washing over him with shock. He glanced at the door to the stairs and ran. He sped towards it and then clumsily climbed down the stairs, tripping on the last step as the grand finale. Usopp was the first to meet him after it.

"What's up with you? Are you stupid or what?" Usopp said with desperation. Luffy locked his stare on the ground.

"Where's Nami?" he asked briskly. Usopp tried to make eye contact for a while but gave up after a few dozens of tries.

"In the classroom with Vivi, I suppose. I was with Coby downstairs so I'm not su-"

"Ok thanks!" Luffy said quickly before vanishing. Usopp was left rage rambling.

Luffy headed towards his class promptly. The thought of leftovers was now completely out of his memory and even the taste of Ace and Boa's bentos was slowly dying away. A weird chain of thoughts was giving him very very wicked ideas. He needed to ask Nami a few questions and conclude his theory as fast as possible. Yes, Luffy had a theory. A theory that included a lot of repressed needs, those kinds of needs. He entered the classroom with a woosh and as soon as his eye caught Nami he grabbed her wrist and dragged her away with him. Nami, of course, went the whole way fussing.

"Luffy stop right now! What is this?! I demand an explanation this minute!" She growled "Drop me! Let go, let go! Do you have a death wish?"

They stopped in a deserted corner of a corridor and Luffy dropped Nami's wrist.

"Thank God! What's with with you? You gave me a scare!" she whined a few words before calming down "So, tell me, what is wrong now?"

Luffy's face was the official signature of paleness. Anxiety was eating his insides away, nonetheless, he was determined. His expression was feeble but not yet out of will.

"Tell me about kissing" he said plainly. The sentence earned him a slap on the forehead.

"What the hell?! Are you joking with me?!" Nami burst out. Luffy caressed his head and pressed again.

"Tell me. Who can kiss who?" he asked. Although Nami was slightly embarrassed and not very comfortable with the subject she answered him.

"Anyone can"

"Anyone?" Luffy repeated somewhat confused. A vein popped up on Nami's head.

"Of course not anyone! People who like each other kiss, you know it! Can I go now?"

"Wait, wait, wait. What about guys?"

"Same thing"

"With each other?"

Nami was silent for a while. She stared at Luffy attentively and then grimaced.

"Luffy, are you telling me what I think you are? Or do you want me to kiss you or something?" she asked wearily. Her arms were crossed over her chest stoically. Luffy blushed slightly and then remembered the event up in the school rooftop.

"No, no, it's nothing like that… it's just that-"

"What?! Don't tell me that Boa girl is actually a…" Nami looked around to make sure no one was listening "…guy?"

Luffy shot her a funny look "Nami are you feeling ok?"

"Shut up! You're the one who came to me with this weird talk!"

"Ok, ok, forget it. I think I got it" Luffy said with a sigh. He was not going anywhere with the conversation and he knew he should not mention anything about Zoro and Sanji to Nami. Somehow he knew it.

"Got what? Is there someone you like? Are you going to confess? Do you want to kiss her or him?" Nami asked interested.

Luffy rejected and denied any idea of the sort. Even if Nami was indeed a good confider, Luffy could not possibly tell her everything he wanted given the circumstances he was in. Luffy could be a dense kind of character but he was not stupid. He was not going to ask her any further questions. If he gave her more hints she would certainly unravel his secret fancy, which was actually devoid of any secrecy to begin with. Anyhow, clearing the particular subject of boys kissing was good enough. Luffy felt his urges less criminal, less guilty than they were previously.

"Well, this story isn't over" Nami told him strictly. She glanced at her wrist watch and checked the time.

"We have five minutes. Let's go"

"Yeah, thanks Nami" Luffy said with a grin.

"Don't thank me yet"

Ace was hammering a poor little nail into nothingness. It was an act of whim, a way to smash something, given the fact he could not smash Boa Hancock's bentos and face. Jealousy was such another one of those things that did not work playfully. It was always serious business, at least when incorporated in Portgas D. Ace's being. Usually, he was not repulsed or bothered by other people's acts of kindness, much the contrary, he truly appreciated them. However, things were starting to run out of control. Every freaking day Luffy brought home another empty bento, surely gladly eaten. It annoyed Ace to no end. He could barely believe he actually washed them and gave them back to Nojiko, who, in her turn gave them to that hateful Snake-girl. It was a vicious circle with no purpose whatsoever, though it was a lot better than having Boa give her gifts directly to Luffy. Her shyness or whatever charm it was she though worked was the only thing positive about the whole deal. Ace could thank her for that.

"Oi, Ace. Here, take these to Thatch" Marco entered the adjoining warehouse with an armful of loot. A few more boxes were resting by the entrance "Come on, help me out a bit" he insisted coolly. Ace got up slowly and went to work.

"Why the sullen face?" Marco queried quietly.

"Nothing really. It'll go away soon" Ace mumbled while picking up a couple of boxes.

"Hmm"

Marco's reply was as assuring as ever. Ace sighed and followed his friend until he bumped into the other's back.

"Marco! Move it!" He snapped annoyed, though as soon as Marco turned around Ace found out the cause for Marco's slight freeze.

"Aaaaceee-kunn!!!! There you are!" Bonney's extreme pink hair blinded Ace momentarily. She swung her arms and self towards him, but he dodged her successfully.

"Need any help?" she asked happily, erasing her recent failure as if it had never happen.

"No we're good" Ace said dismissively. His frown was pretty deep.

"Eeh? Really? You look very tired, let me help-" Bonney approached but her hand was quickly slapped away.

"What did I told you?!" Ace warned angry.

"Don't need to be mean!" Bonney pouted.

"Ace, go on ahead" Marco told him.

"I was trying to!"

"No, I mean go home" Marco said stoically. His dead-fish eyes were locked with Ace's steadily "If you're too disturbed to work, then you better go home and settle your issues"

"W-what are you saying, I'm fine!" Ace retorted.

"I'll be taking your word on that then. Bonney," Marco turned to the sore girl "Bring the rest of those" he said while gesturing to the last two boxes by the small warehouse's entry. She nodded and followed the two men cheerfully. Bonney had the particular gift of resilience which gave her endless hope and endurance. Hadn't Ace been blinded by Luffy's attributes he thought so out of the ordinary and special, he would have noticed that Bonney was very similar to his younger brother in some ways.

The pink haired demon caught up with Marco deliberately and in a very low tone began a small enquiry.

"What's wrong with Ace-kun? He is in an awful mood" she said disappointed.

"It's the usual" Marco said casually.

"What's usual?"

Marco stopped in his tracks and looked at her. His nonchalant expression held a bit of surprise.

"You don't know?"

Bonney shook her head.

"Seriously, you don't?" Marco asked again. The fact Bonney was alienated from the crucial and foremost important thing about Ace's life was shocking. Bonney, the unconditional fangirl had not an idea about Luffy.

"Sooo? Come on spill it! I don't have all day! These are starting to heavy me down as well" Bonney complained, glaring at the boxes in her arms.

"It's Luffy, his brother" Marco told her. While the words escaped his lips a grief compelling amount of regret was felt. Marco bit his lip mentally.

"Ooh! I think I heard about that" Bonney said, though she seemed to be wondering to herself.

"You had-?"

"Yeah, but they are not real brothers right? I know it's something like that. I don't remember who told me though"

Marco looked at her astonished.

"So fangirls really are the real deal uh?" he thought out loud. Bonney stepped on his foot angrily.

"Shut up baldy!"

"Oi, what are you two doing?" Ace turned around still quite annoyed. Bonney replied with a sweet smile and Marco sighed.

Yes, Ace and Luffy were not blood brothers. For any outsider this was as simple to understand as the fact a human being needed to breath, however, for Ace and Luffy themselves the kind of relationship they had was much more complex and delicate than the vague idea it threw off. On a daily basis it was indeed simple. As family they were the number one example, if not Luffy Ace definitely was. But all the protection, interaction and dedication such relationship required ended up making things worse most of the times. Ace wished he could measure his emotions adequately but he knew he couldn't. Conclusion, it was better to leave things unsaid and limits untouched. They were brothers and that must be whatthey solely needed.

Ace was rummaging through such thoughts when his head collapsed with the kotatsu surface in one of his narcolepsy fits. Dreams were good enough.

"Oi Ace! You're drooling on my dangos! Shoo! Shoo!" Luffy pushed Ace's head away from the precious plate of dangos that Makino-san had brought after diner.

"Damn it, look at this!" Luffy whined regardless of having no receptor to his speech "I'm not letting them go to waste though, you hear? Tsk, always falling asleep on the stupidest place, my dangos even… idiot Ace" Luffy munched away contently, stare locked on the TV screen. It was only by the third green dumpling that he understood what was artfully happening. Luffy glanced at the dango plate than at Ace. He looked at the empty stick in his hand and then at Ace again. A thought exploded in his head.

Indirect kiiiiisssssssss!!! His mouth was ajar and his eyes bulged out comically. Luffy covered his mouth with a hand and hyperventilated internally for a few seconds. A light flush sprung to his face and he dropped the dango stick. The thoughts floating around his head took a sudden turn as well. Should I do it? Shouldn't I? Yes? No? He looked at Ace's face attentively. Luffy feared the sleeping figure would wake up if he kissed him, though a few weak arguments took no time to boost his willingness. Ace had slept through worse: boiling water, gramps' horrible laughs, bumps, violent impact, thunder, fireworks, you name it. Luffy was quickly fearless. He leaned down and did it.

The contact with Ace's lips was thrilling enough and Luffy began feeling the immensity of it all, wondering why he was doing such a thing to begin with. What he didn't expect though, was the kissing back. Ace lifted his head and his hands travelled up to Luffy's neck and cheeks. Luffy was now positively panicking. Between feeling good and feeling wrong it was hard to choose, yet he was so strangely excited that he left thinking aside. He tried to take a glimpse at Ace but was too frightened with the idea to go through with it. Instead he indulged himself and remained pleasurably ignorant. Lamentably, not everything that's good lasts long. Ace jolted unexpectedly and pushed Luffy away with surprise.

"Wha-?!! What the hell?! What were you doing Luffy? Wha- is this real?" Ace looked left and right, up and down in pure shock. He was pure disbelief. Denial itself. For someone to wake up to his dream it had to be impossible.

Meanwhile, Luffy was blushing rouge in his spot, trying not to cover his face with his hands to mask the embarrassment. He also had a very big urge to grin and laugh but was suppressing such necessity as well. Ace would kill him if he dared. The older D. turned once again towards him and opened his mouth. Sadly, no words came out. He fumbled with his hands to try to express something but it was futile as well. Luffy's desire to laugh was almost has big as the desire to kiss Ace again. He endured.

"W-wha? Did I, did I kiss you Luffy? Sorry, I, I must have been sleepwalking, I…" Ace stared at the tatami floor while fishing for excuses. He could not believe his narcolepsy had reached such a point. What was he going to do?

"No, I did it" Luffy stated blatantly which made Ace face him immediately "But, Ace was the one who kissed me back" Luffy added as if the sentence could act like a protective shield. His older brother blushed further and tried to sort the events in his brain.

"I'm- sorry, I- I wasn't thinking. Well, you…" Ace stood silent for a while and then brought forth the big question "Why did you do it?"

"Zoro and Sanji did it"

Ace almost choked on the own air he was breathing "T-they WHAT?!"

"Yes. Don't tell anyone though. I'm the only one who saw them" Luffy said with a finger in front of his lips.

"Those two? Unbelievable…Wait Luffy, where are you going?" Ace asked as he saw his younger brother getting up. He was not letting Luffy flee out of this one.

"Sleep. I'm feeling really sleepy now, for some reason. Your sleep fit must have infected me. I had direct contact with it after all" Luffy said with a smile. Ace slapped the idiot's leg frustrated.

"Shut up! Forget that, stupid! You have to change your friends!" Ace reasoned badly.

"Ace needs to stop his sleepwalking first"

"Don't mention it!"

"Hihihihihihi"

"Don't laugh!"

AN: I can't do anymore! This chapter ends here my friends. I like obtuse endings (this is just an excuse). Anyway, thank you so much for the never-ending support. I know I froze this fic for a few months, and I am terribly sorry. I got too excited with my Gintama fics and only now (after that disastrous thing Oda did to me and all Ace's fans) did I finally write another chapter for this funny couple. I had missed writing them. I hope you will take this light-heartedly and be able to forget the sadness of the manga. One Piece will never be the same, regardless of all the amounts of epicness it gives us. I will try to be sooner in the next update. R&R