I want to first and foremost thank Susan for all her help- seriously.
All credit to Susan for the word.

And to my readers and reviewers- the response I am getting on this is fabulous, and it's like the words can't pour out fast enough.
Thank you guys for being so awesome.

Okay- this one is kind of heavy.
I wanted to say it without saying it.

So this is me.
Not saying it.

E

Eulogy

Kate Beckett made her way across the soggy grass to the grave, where the casket was yet to be set into the ground. Already a cluster of people were gathered around it, a cloud of black huddled around the equally dark hole. Kate recognized many officers- some she'd met at formal events, some she'd met under a rain of gunfire and some she'd recognized by name and face and status. Many she didn't know at all. She didn't need a uniform to recognize a well-weathered cop.

The soft crunch of earth underfoot reminded her of her company. Behind her trailed Ryan, Esposito, and as a new addition to tradition, Castle. He hung in the back, unsure. Kate was relieved when he didn't talk in the car, and she was relieved he wasn't running his smart mouth now. He promised to behave, and the grave demeanor he bore proved his word honest.

She brought him along because she trusted him.
There was no question to that, and the fact was stated so plain that even Kate, master of denial and deflection couldn't ignore that.

She trusted him with this part of her.
With this part of her team.

This was not something Castle failed to realize, or honor, for that matter.

He quickened his step only an increment so that he could whisper to Esposito. "What are we doing here?" When Beckett asked him to be respectful, he took it to heart. He saw her face when she saw the news break on national television. He saw the same penitent look when she read the Obituary.

So in the bullpen, he said nothing.
In the car ride, he said nothing.

And now he tested waters.

The look Esposito gave him made Castle rip his toes from the edge, the waters proving to be scalding. "What does it look like we are doing?" He asked, lowly so Beckett wouldn't hear. This particular tradition didn't involve many words on their part.

"Is there some sort of backstory I'm missing here?" Castle asked, honestly confused. They were approaching the party quickly.

"Castle, you don't talk now," Esposito stopped, as Beckett and Ryan in front of him did. He turned to face his friend, trying to convey what this moment meant. "There is no backstory or a mystery to solve. You don't talk. Right now it's time to listen."

And with those words still bouncing around in the walls of Castle's cranial structure, the already mourning crowd quieted, and a man assumed the podium that stood beside the coffin and amidst the wake.

"You don't know him, do you?" Castle asked Esposito, quietly, realization hitting him with full force. "None of you know him." The other man didn't have to answer- the soft look he received said it all. It was then Castle parted from him. He pushed gently through the people until he reached her- Beckett.

He came up behind her, slipping his hand into hers, wordlessly, their fingers entwining without effort.

He took her by surprise, and she looked down at their hands, admiring how they fit together.

Normally she would pull away.
Normally she would stuff her hand right down into the pocket of her pea coat and ignore him.

She wouldn't let the corner of her mouth pull upwards.
She wouldn't squeeze his hand back, lightly, showing him it was okay.
She wouldn't lean into his warm body, accepting the comfort he offered her.

Normally, he wouldn't have shut up.

No words were shared but so much was said.

And the man at the podium began to speak.

"Last week, Officer Daniel Hawthorn was taken from us. He served his country bravely and with honor, and gave his life to the law and lives he strived to defend. He was shot in the line of duty on September 15th of 2010, and today, we bury him with a flag and the same honor he died to protect…"

End.

Oh, look, another E word for ya.

So if I managed to say it without saying it (something you will totally get if I DID) then you should say it in a review.
But actually say it.
And actually review.

Thanks,

Softer