So this chapter is very smutty, so the rating has changed to M.
Since I wrote this with hindsight in mind, I included it at the beginning, and made this chapter, M, a continuation. Like hindsight, but extended version.
I hope this makes sense *winces*
So I am very iffy about my smut, so please be kind and if it's not your thing, skip it.
M
More (Inferno)
Hindsight
In hindsight, he shouldn't have come here.
In hindsight, he should have stayed home.
In hindsight, he should have stayed far, far away from this particular apartment.
Hindsight vision, his mother told him once as a boy, is twenty-twenty.
And facing the red apartment door, it was all he could do to tear his eyes from the metaphorical rear view mirror and force himself into the present. He raised a fist to knock then dropped it before it hit wood.
Raise.
Drop.
Raise.
Drop.
This sad ritual continued for another minute or so before he clenched his teeth and did it.
He knocked.
One tap.
One very light tap, almost as if it didn't actually happen.
Maybe she didn't hear it, he thought, part of him relieved and another, rather large part of him disappointed. And then the door swung open.
She stood before him, dressed in navy sweatpants and a plain white v-neck he had never seen before. Her hair was wet, and the strands that had escaped from her ponytail clung to her neck.
For some reason, she didn't look surprised to see him in the least.
For some reason, neither of them spoke a word.
She finally broke the standstill, obviously tiring of the standing and staring routine. He expected her to speak, to roll her eyes, maybe, shut the door in his face.
But she did none of these things.
In hindsight, she thought, she probably should have.
She stepped forward, so they were both in the hallway, one small step at a time until she was close enough to share his breath. He stood stock still, unsure of what to expect. He felt her arms encircle his waist, and then her face pressing into his chest.
And then they were hugging.
He didn't move- still wary of the situation. That's when he felt her fingers massaging a small pattern into his back.
He lost it.
His arms fell around her body, squeezing her as hard as he dare. She was amazingly good at this hugging thing.
"Shhhh," he heard her murmur into his chest, holding on to him. Letting him hold her. He trembled a little, but held in the tears. He wouldn't cry. He wouldn't. He didn't let her go, and he was relieved that she didn't let him go, either.
Her hair was soaking a dark, head-shaped form in his t-shirt, but he couldn't care less.
When his breathing slowed and lightened a little, she pulled back, only enough to look at him. His blue eyes had never looked clearer, and the sight sent a little shiver up her spine- a shiver he no doubt felt, judging by his tight hold. But tonight wasn't about that. She returned her head to the spot on his chest, happy to stay there, her arms holding him as close as he was her.
"How do you do it?" she heard him whisper, so quietly she wasn't sure if he said it, or if she just imagined it. In answer she pressed her fingers into his back again, kneading in comfort.
"It's hard. I'm not going to lie, it doesn't get easier," sheresponded. As comforting as she wanted to be, she wouldn't lie.
"I hate this," he responded, his voice still a soft whisper. She knew he didn't mean the hugging. "I hate it."
"Yeah," she agreed, breathily. "Children are the hardest."
In hindsight, he shouldn't have come here.
In hindsight, he should have stayed far, far away from this particular apartment.
In hindsight, he wouldn't change a thing.
His head was buried in her hair and he was perfectly content to stay there forever, but the hallway was cold and the apartment door wide open. Kate didn't ask, she just pulled him inside, shutting the door and returning to his arms without another word. That's when he felt it: her lips on his neck.
He was stunned at first, he thought he was hallucinating, but as she moved he realized that this was very real. She traveled up his clavicle and neck, under his mandible and along his strong jaw line. The tip of her tongue touched that soft spot right under the back of his ear and he squirmed a little, pleasure shooting through him. She continued back down his jaw and cheek, languidly, placing open-mouthed kisses as she went, before she was right there, hovering dangerously close to his lips.
"Kate, I didn't mean for-"
"Shhh," she silenced his stammered explanation. "Let me do this," she whispered, their proximity almost unbearable. Her eyes met his for a long moment where nothing was said yet everything was and then flicked down to his lips.
She rose to her tip toes- he was much taller than she when she was without heels- and brushed his lower lip with hers. Again, they met just barely, her touch light and brief, until she couldn't take it anymore.
When she finally pressed her mouth to his it was warm and inviting, and she wanted it to last forever. It was quite some time before she moved. She pulled his head down to meet hers firmly and deepened the kiss, exploring his mouth with hers as she learned about him.
What he liked, what he wanted.
What he needed.
She was leading him backwards now, until his legs hit the couch. She pushed him onto it following with a leg supporting her on either side of his body. His hands where traveling down her back, lighting her nerves on fire with their light but needy touch. She let out a small moan into his mouth at the sensations he was creating along her spine.
"Castle," she sighed as they broke for air. He used his opportunity to trail fire and kisses down her neck, taking his time as she had. His teeth scraped lightly over her pulse point, and again she gasped.
"Clothes," she managed, tugging impatiently at his shirt. "Too many," her words were cut off my his mouth. His kisses stalled the world, she swore, and she lost herself in the touch. Her lithe fingers made quick work of his shirt buttons and ended by falling to his belt, again tugging impatiently. He tried to stand and flip her but she wouldn't let him, using her strength to hold him down. "More," she whispered in his ear.
The warm hands running up and down her back slipped under her v-neck, taking it up and over her head slowly. Her bra and his belt followed. Nothing about tonight was rushed or hurried or fast- it was a slow burn of passion and her living room was turning into an inferno.
She ground her hips against his, friction sending shivers up her spine and an ache intensifying low in her stomach.
"Oh," it was he who cried out at the contact.
How she got him out of those pants was a mystery even to her but she had and now he was pulling at hers. With great effort, she removed herself from him long enough to let them fall to the floor before finding him again. Her nails dug into his neck when she pulled him to her and he kissed her hard before she sank onto him.
Again there was that pang in her stomach.
"Oh," this time it was she.
The pace picked up as they met, finding a rhythm easily, over and over again until they were both tiptoeing along the edge of climax. She rested her forehead on his, their eyes locked. "More, Castle," she said, and he complied, and with that they were both thrown off the ledge and into release.
He buried his face in her neck, happy to rest there while they both caught their breath. She didn't move to get up, and he wasn't about to pull her off of him. The sound of their labored breathing was all either of them could hear. She measured his breathing below her and only when it had normalized did she pull his head up to meet hers. This time the kiss was a deep caress and she put all of what little energy she had left into it, hoping he got the message she was so desperately trying to convey.
She rolled off of him and he slipped onto the floor, dragging the throw draped over the couch with him. She followed, a small, content smile on her face as she did so, letting him pull her closer to him and under the covers as they lay on her living room floor. He was laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling, his leg propped up, escaping the confines of the brown blanket. She curled up beside him, tracing patterns on his bare chest as she watched him think.
"Say something," she murmured, quietly.
"I'm just…processing." He turned from the spot on the ceiling he had been concentrating so intently on and faced her. After another moment of silent staring, his body followed suit so he was on his side, facing her.
His finger went up and traced the line of her face, smiling a little.
"I think you just took advantage of me," he said, making her smile as well. She craned her neck and planted a kiss on his chin.
"I think I'm going to do it again, later," she replied.
"Is that a threat?" he kissed her shoulder.
"A promise." It was his turn to smile. She curled up closer to him, longing for the feeling of his body, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest.
"I think I'm okay with that." And he held her until they both drifted off into sleep, comfortable on her living room floor.
So I hope that wasn't too awful.
This chapter goes out to Susanatc.
Now go write December, ey?
Review, cause it's still my birthday (sorta).