Disclaimer: I don't not own any of the characters or Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. Lucky girl.


Chapter 4

After Spanish, I went to the office to return my signed schedule and then I headed to my locker to gather my needed books. As I stood at my locker, I heard a familiar voice.

"I don't know Alice, I really don't think he liked me." The voice was soft again, and sounded sad.

"Bella, come on! Who doesn't like you? Besides, it's not like you did anything to him," Alice's voice answered.

I knew I should stop listening, eavesdropping was rude and I probably wasn't going to like what I heard, but as much as my brain yelled at me to close my locker and walk away, my arms and legs were not listening.

"You weren't there," Bella continued. "He wouldn't talk to me, didn't even answer when I said hi, and then he ran out like the building was on fire."

"He's overwhelmed, I'm sure he didn't mean to be as rude as it seemed." I heard Alice close her locker. "I wouldn't be worry too much. So what did you think though?"

Bella let out an exasperated sigh. "He's beautiful."

Alice giggled, "Told you you'd like him."

"It's not just that though. There's something about him. He looked so lost and sad. And I felt--" She stopped.

I wanted to leave. Now. I didn't want to hear this girl's sympathy or what she thought of me. But I felt trapped now. I couldn't let them know that I had stood and listened to their whole conversation. I shifted, but stayed hidden behind my opened locker door. I prayed they would finish getting their things and walk away soon.

"What did you feel?"

I almost wished I could see Bella's face. She sounded embarrassed.

"I don't know how to describe it. But when he looked at me, I felt a shock."

I frowned, she had felt that too? I heard another locker door slam. "A shock?" Alice asked.

I didn't get to hear Bella's answer because they had walked away and her voice was too soft for me to hear. I felt torn. A part of me was incredibly grateful that they had left and I didn't have to hear anymore. But a huge part of me wanted to follow them and hear what else Bella thought of me and the volt of electricity that had past between us. I closed my locker and slowly walked to Alice's car. I didn't know how I felt about Bella. She had sounded hurt when she talked about my lack of response in biology. I felt bad that I had hurt her. I hadn't meant to be rude. She had made me feel something, something I had never felt before. I didn't want to feel this way. I didn't want to care that I had hurt her. I didn't want to think about all the depth I saw in her beautiful brown eyes. I didn't want to think about her musical voice. And I most certainly didn't want to look forward to seeing her the next day. I couldn't be friends with her. I didn't deserve to be friends with such a gentle creature.

By this time I had reached Alice's yellow Porsche and I climbed into the back seat, ignoring both Emmett and Alice's looks. "How was your day?" Alice asked as the car roared to life.

"It was fine," I answered, staring out the window. Forks began to fly by. Alice seemed to enjoy speed. I was surprised, I didn't think I would have anything in common with this pixie like girl.

"Did you meet anyone interesting?" She continued.

"Um." I knew the answer she was looking for and I wasn't quite sure how to respond. I didn't want to hurt hers or Bella's feelings. But I also didn't want to give anyone false hope. "Sure." I decided.

"Really?" she nearly squealed. "Who?"

Now Emmett came to my rescue. "He met Mike Newton. Apparently Edward showed him up in PE today."

"You did?" I glanced at the rearview mirror and saw Alice lifting a black eyebrow at me.

I groaned, although I was happy for the distraction. "Not on purpose," I mumbled.

Emmett let out a roar of laughter. "No worries! Newton deserves it. He thinks he is all that, but he's really not. It's nice hear someone finally put him in his place."

"What did you do?" Alice asked.

I glanced at Emmett, but he was looking at me expectantly. Obviously he wanted to hear my side of the story. "It was no big deal. I like to run. I ran and finished first." I shrugged, feeling embarrassed.

"He ran the mile in four thirty-two!" Emmett burst out. "And then he continued to run two more miles all under five minutes!"

Alice smiled. "Nice, Edward. Mike Newton really does have an ego problem. I have no idea why all the girls like him."

I grimaced. Somehow getting on the bad side of someone as popular as Mike Newton did not seem like a good idea. I was very grateful when I saw the massive white house appear in front of me. I jumped out of the car and went straight to my room. I flung my bag on the ground and sat down on my bed. I had made it through the first day. It had to be the worst one, right? After today, I wouldn't be the new kid anymore. Maybe the strange kid that never said anything, or that guy with no friends. But I wouldn't be the new kid. No one would feel the compulsion to stare at me or wonder. I had survived. And I had learned some important lessons. First of all, I needed to run slower in gym. Second, Alice wasn't afraid to speak her mind. And third, and most importantly, I had to stay away from Bella Swan no matter what it cost me.

***

Awhile later, I grew tired of my room and I hesitantly opened my door. I didn't see or hear anyone, so I tiptoed out the door. I made it down the hall and still didn't see anyone. Grateful to be alone I used to opportunity to explore. At each corner, I made sure to peak before I proceeded, just to make sure that no one was there who would insist on talking to me. Downstairs, I found the kitchen and stood for minute gaping at it. I had only seen kitchens like this in magazines. Black granite streaked with tan flecks covered the counters. Beautiful cherry cabinets lined the walls, interrupted only by the stainless steel appliances. A range stood proud on the center of the back wall, glistening in the overhead lights. Creamy travertine stone covered the floor, and a slightly darker stone made up the backsplash behind the counter. It was beautiful. I took a second longer in the kitchen, then continued with my exploration. As I peeked into each room, I found them to be as beautiful, if not more than the kitchen. The whole house followed the creamy tan, white and black color scheme of the kitchen. Someone had very lovingly decorated this house and made it a showcase. There was not a doubt in my mind that Esme was that person. I turned the corner and entered what in another time would have been called a parlor. I stopped and stared. The same plush cream carpet covered the floor. White couches stood in the middle of the room, situated in front of a massive stone fireplace. But it wasn't the fireplace that caught my attention. It was the shiny black grand piano that stood in the corner. As if in a trance, I crossed the room until I was standing in front of the beautiful instrument. I lifted the cover and traced my fingers reverently over the ivory keys. Tears touched the corners of my eyes. Before my father had died, my mother loved the piano. A memory came to me. I was five years old and it was past my bedtime. But the sound of the piano and the beauty of the melody had floated up the stairs and woke me up. Curious, I crept down the stairs to see what was going on. My father sat at the piano, his fingers moving over the keys and my mom stood next to him, a gentle smile on her face. As he finished playing, my mother approached the bench and sat on his lap. In that moment I could see all the love my mother had for my father shining on her face and she looked so happy, so young and in love.

I came back from the memory, a little surprised to find myself sitting on the bench of the piano. Tears were running down my cheeks. Very slowly I my fingers curled over the keys, I lightly touched the middle C and the note rang on in perfect tone. Without thinking of what I was doing, my fingers began to move across the keys, creating the same beautiful melody that had called to me that long ago night. So much had changed since then. So much had gone wrong. I had failed in so many ways. My eyes drifted shut as I continued to play. The music drifted around me and it was freedom. My mind emptied of my troubles and for a few minutes it was just me and the piano. I opened my eyes and watched my fingers caress the keys. Eventually, I let the song come to an end and the final notes drifted out the room. With a soft sigh, I reached to cover the keys. It was then that I realized I was not alone in the room.

"That was beautiful," Esme said softly.

Startled, I turned to face her and watched as she walked towards the piano. I swiped at the tears on my cheeks, beyond embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I was just walking through the house and it's such a beautiful piano—" I stopped when I realized I was rambling.

Esme shook her head. "It's fine. I'm happy to see someone using the piano. None of my children ever took an interest. How long have you played?"

I shrugged. "Um, my mom and dad played. Mom taught me a little."

She looked a bit shocked.

"Um, I just play what I hear, or what goes through my head." My face turned red.

Esme came and sat next to me. "Edward, it's okay. You can play the piano anytime I truly don't mind. You are very talented."

"Thank you." I looked down at my hands as they gently traced the black keys on the piano.

It was quiet then and I glanced at Esme. She was looking at me as if she wanted to say something. I nodded slightly, encouraging her to say what was on her mind.

"I just wanted to say that your mother must have been very proud of you." The words were quiet, but they ripped a hole through my chest.

I couldn't say anything, I couldn't squeeze out any words through the pain.

"What was she like?" Esme asked quietly. Gently, so it was more like a breeze then a touch, her hand flitted over mine.

My mom. She was…well, it was hard to describe her. It was almost like I had two mothers. The "before" and the "after" mother. Before my father's death and after. I chose to describe the before mother to Esme. That was the mother I liked to remember. "She was beautiful," I whispered. "Gentle. She loved my father more than anything. They would play the piano together, I loved to watch. Sometimes she would have me sit on her lap and she would show me how to play. When she smiled, the whole world lit up." I stared at my hand that continued to trace black piano key.

"You must miss her."

I nodded, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. I missed my "before" mother more than anyone could ever understand.

"I don't want to assume anything," Esme continued. "But I do want you to know that I am here, if you need anything. Absolutely anything."

I nodded again. But this time I took my gaze off of my hand and looked into her blue eyes. They were bright with tears and compassion. In so many ways, Esme reminded me of my mother. My before mother. "Thank you," I whispered again.

***

After my talk with Esme, I went up to my room. In a strange way it felt good to talk to someone about my mother. Before I had left the room, she had informed me that dinner would be ready at seven. Now, I glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly seven-fifteen. I debated staying in my room again, and avoiding the family. But I knew I couldn't hide forever. So I went downstairs and found them seated in the breakfast nook, dinner already served. They were eating and chatting about their day. When I walked in, the conversation stopped.

"Edward!" Alice called cheerfully. "Come and eat!"

I felt immediate guilt when I saw that a place had been set for me. I walked to the table and sat down. Food was passed to me and I served myself some noodles and meatballs. It smelled delicious. I took a bite and almost closed my eyes as the taste filled my senses. As I swallowed, I noticed that the conversation had picked up again.

"I got the lead in the school play today," Alice announced happily. "I am going to play Tinkerbell. Only it's not your average Peter Pan story. It's told from Tinkerbell's point of view!"

"That's wonderful, sweetheart," Esme beamed. "I am so proud of you."

"I told you hard work would pay off, well done honey!" Carlisle leaned over and tussled Alice's short black locks.

"Thank you guys! I am so excited. Rehearsals begin next week, but I get the script tomorrow, so I'm going to have to start practicing. Oh! I can't wait to see my costume! I bet it's going to be super pretty, but if it's not then I will have to talk to wardrobe. And opening night is December 14 so you better mark your calendars."

Alice continued to bounce in her seat as she told her parents about the play. The looks on Carlisle and Esme's faces were like nothing I had seen before. They practically were glowing with pride. Their smiles seemed to stretch until I thought for sure their lips were going to jump right off. I felt an ache in my heart as I thought of my own mom.

Then Emmett decided to jump in. "That's great sis, but here's my news!" He picked up a huge envelope and I saw Carlisle smile get even bigger, if that was even possible. "I heard from Pepperdine today. Based on my grades and playing ability, they've offered me a full ride!"

Then Esme did something I had never heard from a nonteenage girl. She squealed as she jumped up and ran to Emmett. She nearly tackled him as she threw her arms around her. "Oh my gosh! Emmett! That is unbelievable! And to hear so soon, they must really want you on the baseball team!"

"So I assume you will be accepting," Carlisle smiled.

Emmett rolled his eyes at his father.

"Well," Carlisle said. "This has been quite an evening for the Cullen family. So much success!"

And then I couldn't take it anymore. This wasn't my family, I didn't belong in this room right now. I quietly got up and crept out of the room. Then I raced to my room. I lay down on my bed, my chest heaving as I tried to control my sobs. The scene in the kitchen forced my mind where I never let it go. It made me think of what my life would have been like if my dad had lived. Or, even if he had died, if she hadn't met him. I know my mom was broken when my dad died, but maybe if she hadn't depended on him so much, I could have been enough to make her happy. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I rolled to my side, curling up in a tight ball. Eventually, the tears slowed and I fell into an exhausted sleep.

"Edward, run up and get your father. Let him know that we are ready to go." I looked up at my beautiful mother and nodded. I raced up the stairs.

"Hey Dad," I jumped up on the bed and threw my arms around his neck. "Mommy said it's time to go."

"Is that right?" He unwound his arms from my neck and swung around until I sat on his lap. My father looked so much like me. The same messy reddish brown hair, the same green eyes. "Did she send you up here to get me?"

"Uh huh. She said that she is waiting for her favorite man to come sweep her away." I brought my mouth closer to his ear and whispered, like we were sharing a great secret. "She looks really pretty too."

He laughed, his eyes crinkling in the corner. "Well then, we shouldn't let our favorite girl wait, then should we?"

I shook my head and jumped off his lap. My father stood and I slipped my little hand into his huge one. "Are you excited, Edward?"

I nodded. We were on our way to the Fourth of July picnic. I knew there was going to be a barbeque and fireworks. I couldn't wait. When we reached the bottom of the stairs, my mom grabbed my dad in and they kissed. Mom smiled up at my father. "Happy Fourth of July, Elizabeth," he said.

"Happy Fourth, my love," she said back. She kissed him once more. "I love you, Ed."

"Love you too."

Then Dad bent over and picked me up, took Mom's hand and we headed to the car.

"Okay Edward," my dad said. "Remember what I said?"

I nodded as I reached up behind. "Always wear your seatbelt."

"Good boy." My mom and dad slid into the front seat and then we were off.

They were talking in low voices, but I didn't really hear what they were saying. I enjoyed the looking out the window and watching the buildings of Chicago fly by. We were just nearing the bridge, when there was a loud exploding sound. I was thrown forward, my seatbelt yanking me back. The window next to me shattered and I threw my hands up to protect my face from the glass. And then I was outside the car. I saw my mother lying next to me, groaning. My father was on the ground, not moving, a few feet away. "Daddy!" I cried. I got up, not noticing the blood streaming down my face. I ran to him. "Daddy," I cried again. "Please wake up!"

His eyes flutter open and he looked at me. "Take care of her," he gasped out. "Take care of your mother, promise me Edward."

"I will Daddy, but you will help." My tiny hands clenched into his shirt.

"I love you Edward." And then he was limp.

I woke up screaming. I shoved my fist in my mouth and buried my face into my pillow to muffle my screams. My chest heaved and tears streaked my cheeks. I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest. My hands fisted in my hair and I rocked myself. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I chanted over and over again.

A/N A big thank you to those that reviewed. It really does help. It lets me know what you all think, and what I need to clarify. So thank you so so much! Please keep reviewing! BTW, I know I haven't had much Edward and Bella yet. It's coming, I promise!