Disclaimer: Twilight and the characters don't belong to me. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.


Chapter Five

As the sky began to lighten outside my window, I released my legs cringing a bit as the muscles cramped from so many hours of holding the same position. I stretched and stood, watching as the sky turned from dark gray to a lighter shade of the same hue. Stumbling a bit from my sore legs, I made my way to the bathroom. A hot shower was what I needed, I felt so cold inside. I turned the spray on full blast and cranked up the heat. As the water began to flow over my head, I leaned my palms on the tile. I squeezed my eyes shut, desperate to rid myself of the last vestiges of the nightmare. I took a deep breath and as I exhaled, I tried to think of something happier. Something that could fight the dark monster inside of me. Immediately, a pair of chocolate brown eyes appeared behind my lids. I groaned, but I couldn't help the way my heart kicked up at the thought of seeing her again. "Edward," I whispered to myself. "This is wrong. You'll only hurt her." I nodded to myself and reached for the shampoo.

Clean and feeling slight more awake from my shower, I threw on a pair of jeans and a black long sleeved t-shirt. Then I grabbed my black leather jacket and made my way downstairs. Like the previous morning, Carlisle stood in the kitchen, sipping his coffee while reading the paper. "Good morning," he greeted me.

"Morning," I said, shuffling over to the cabinet that held the cereal. Today I went for the frosted flakes. I felt Carlisle's scrutinizing gaze on me. When I turned with my bowl full, he was indeed looking at me.

"Edward," he sighed. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

I felt like this was becoming a routine. "Yes." No need to tell him that I had only slept two hours before the nightmare had come on with full force.

"Good morning!" Alice came dancing into the kitchen at that moment. "Whoa!"

"What?" Carlisle and I both said, startled by the loud worry that was in her voice.

"Edward, you look terrible!"

"Gee Alice, thanks so much."

"No seriously, are you sick?"

"I'm fine," I nearly growled. "I'll meet you by your car." With that, I left the room, leaving my untouched bowl of cereal on the counter.

"Alice, really?" I heard Carlisle say as I walked out. "Can you just once try not to say the first thing that you think?"

I almost smiled at the lecture tone of Carlisle's voice, but I was in too much of a hurry to be out of the room.

I stood leaning against the Porsche, my hands in my pockets waiting for the other two to finish breakfast, when Emmett joined me. I watched my breath cloud as I breathed. It was cold this morning, icy.

"Hey man," he said, strolling over to where I stood.

"Morning."

He leaned against the car next to me. "Alice tends to put her nose where it doesn't belong."

I moved my shoulders. "I'm not worried about it."

"You know that we are happy you're here, right?" Emmett sounded a bit uncertain, which was odd coming from such a confident person.

I turned my head and looked at him. His head was bent and he was scraping his shoe along the gravel on the driveway. "Yeah, sure." I really didn't. I felt more like an intruder and wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to act.

But I must have been convincing because Emmett breathed a sigh of relieve. "That's good. I think it's going to be awesome having a brother." He moved to put his hand on my shoulder, but I flinched away. "Sorry, bro," he said softly when he saw me move.

Utterly embarrassed, I shook my head. But this time I was saved by Alice as she came out, unlocking the car with her remote. Grateful to hide my burning face, I crawled into the backseat.

As we drove to school, I couldn't keep a pair of chocolate brown eyes from appearing in front of my own. I clenched my fists, refusing to admit to myself how much I was looking forward to biology to see if the spark remained. "Stupid, stupid," I muttered under my breath.

The morning passed much like it had the previous day. There were still stares and every once in a while I heard the words "Newton" "mile" and "four thirty-two" drift around me. I definitely needed to run slower. In gym, I tried very hard to run slow. Today we did hurtles. I felt like I was practically walking as I did my best to stay a step or two behind Mike Newton. As I crossed the finish line, I could see the disappointment on Coach Clapp's face. Obviously he had thought I was some kind of a prodigy or something. I felt a bit bad as well. I liked to run and push myself. But I didn't want the attention. In the locker room, I overheard Mike tell his friend (who I learned was named Tyler), that he had kicked my butt at hurtles and apparently my speed of yesterday was just a fluke. I shook my head and headed out of the gym.

It was lunch time again and I debated going to the library as I had the day before. But like last night with dinner, I figured I couldn't hide forever. Besides, Alice had wanted to introduce me to her best friend. In the cafeteria, I immediately spotted Emmett. He was so huge, he stood out among all of us normal sized people. He was in line for food and had his arm around a tall, blonde haired girl. She was probably the closest to thing to a supermodel Forks High School would ever get. Not surprising at all that she was Emmett's girl. I moved my gaze from the couple, searching for the familiar short black hair. I found her sitting close to the windows. She was leaning over, talking to someone. Someone with brown hair. Someone who, if she looked up would look at me with chocolate brown eyes. My heart began to pound and I felt my hands begin to tremble. What was wrong with me? I backed away not ready to face her. In my haste I ran into a girl behind me.

"Excuse me! Watch where you are going!"

I turned, ready to apologize but when she saw my face, her frown turned into a smile that could best be described as a leer. "Oh! Hello there! I'm Jessica and you are hot."

Disgusted, I muttered an apology for running into her and then I hightailed it to the library. God, I was a freak. I couldn't even go in a cafeteria. I couldn't sit next to a girl I didn't even know. How hard would it be to just go in there, sit down, introduce myself and then eat lunch? But I couldn't make myself go in there. Once again, I spent the lunch hour in the library.

And by the end of lunch, I had convinced myself to skip biology. I was pathetic. I just didn't know how to deal with my erratic thoughts about Bella Swan. I walked out of the library and nearly ran into Alice.

"There you are!" she said. Now she was tapping her foot. "Do you know where the cafeteria is?"

"Yeah, Alice, I do. Thanks." I turned away from her and headed towards the parking lot.

"Where are you going? You have to go to fifth period."

"No I don't."

"Are you ditching?"

I did not want to explain myself to her so I kept walking.

"Hey, if you are ditching, I know a place we can go."

That stopped me and I turned to face her. "You aren't ditching."

She laughed, a tinkling of bells. "You are silly Edward. I ditch all the time. Come on, there's a place in the woods I know. Beside you and I need to talk."

Talking was the last thing I wanted to do but for some reason my feet decided to follow her and in no time, I found myself in the thick forest that surrounded the school. Alice led me to fallen log not very far into the trees. From there, we couldn't see the school, but we would hear the bells.

"I'm sorry about this morning," she said softly. I think it was the first time I had ever heard her speak so quiet.

I shrugged. "It's okay. I know I don't look very good these days."

We sat in silence for a while and it was nice. For awhile, I simply watched my breathe cloud out in front of me as I breathed. It was still as icy as it had been this morning. I wouldn't have thought Alice was capable of being so quiet. But there was comfort in this quiet. So much so that I was the first to talk. "Congratulations on getting that part in the play," I told her sincerely.

"Thanks." She swung her legs against the log. "I've wanted the lead since I was a freshman. I always tried out but got stuck in lesser roles. I took some acting classes over the summer."

Silence fell again, the only sound was the thump-thump as her heels hit the log and the wind through the leaves.

Again, it was me that broke the silence. "Your mom and dad are so proud of you."

Alice beamed. "I know. It's the best feeling ever."

A pain twisted in my chest. "Yeah." My eyes dropped to my hands. There was nothing I could say to that.

"I think it means even more because Esme and Carlisle aren't my biological parents," Alice added hesitantly.

My head shot up and I looked at her, my eyes narrowing. "What?"

She nodded. "They adopted me when I was five. I really don't remember anything about my life before they came. I know I was in a hospital, but that's it. They are the only parents I know. I love them."

Now I was curious. "What about Emmett?"

She nodded again. "Carlisle took him in when both his parents were killed in a plane wreck. He was eight." She saw the incredulous look in my eyes. "Esme can't have kids."

"I didn't know," I whispered. I couldn't figure out why it made any difference, but for some reason it did.

"I saw you leave the table last night. You felt like you didn't belong, didn't you?" Alice asked the question gently and there was understanding in her voice.

I nodded.

"You don't have to feel that way, you know. Esme already considers you her son."

"She—she shouldn't," I whispered.

"It's late," Alice stood up. "Fifth period is almost over. Or are you planning on ditching sixth as well."

I shook my head and stood. Although, I wasn't sure how I was going to concentrate on Spanish with the revelation Alice had just dumped on me circling in my brain.

"I knew it!" Alice said gleefully.

My eyes narrowed. Now what was she talking about? "Knew what?"

"Nothing!" She smiled knowingly at me and then twirled. "But it's only a matter of time!"

I followed her out of the woods. "What is a matter of time?"

"Nothing," she repeated. But she was beaming at me, her hazel eyes sparkling. "Besides, I have to get back to class. See you after school!" And with that she was gone.

My head spun. Spending time with Alice was confusing and overwhelming. She shifted ideas and thoughts at a rapid fire pace. My brain was exhausted from trying to keep up.

Later, as I walked towards the yellow car after Spanish, I caught sight of Bella walking through the parking lot. She saw me looking at her and stumbled. For seconds, our eyes met and held, and from all the way across the parking lot, I could feel that damn spark. In those seconds that our eyes held, the rest of the world ceased to exist. The rushing sounds of teenagers, eager to make their getaway from school stopped. The sounds of cars roaring to life, the laughter and yells of good bye no longer met my ears. All I could hear was the pounding of my own heart and all I could see was chocolate brown eyes. It took me a second to realize she had turned and was walking towards me now. And I was walking towards her. What are you doing, my brain screamed me. I stopped suddenly. And then a terrifying sound ripped through the sound of my pounding heart. A high screech of tires out of control. A scream. And I tore my eyes away from hers and saw it. The blue van that was hurtling out of control. In its path, was the girl that had captured my attention. Not her! My brain screamed the denial and I couldn't just stand there. I took off, running faster than I had ever before. Too slow, oh God I was too slow. I would watch another person die in front of me. No, no, no. I pushed my legs harder, faster. I was going to be too late. Not again, please, not again, I begged whoever would listen. Please, please, not her! And then I slammed into her slight body, knocking her to the side. I kept running, off balance now, but running to get away from the skidding van. I felt the air rush by as the van swept past us. As I fell, I turned, taking the brunt of the fall on my arm and shoulder, protecting her the best I could.

Then all was silent. For the briefest moment, the world stood still. I held her close to me, treasuring the feel of her heart pounding against my chest. Thank you, thank you, thank you, I repeated in my brain. "Are you okay?" I whispered.

She was shaking and holding my shoulders in a death grip, but she nodded.

"Did you hit your head?" Terror raced through me as I remembered how hard we had hit the ground.

She shook her head against my neck.

Slowly time started again. I became aware of the crowd building around us, the cries for help. Alice knelt in front of Bella, touching her shoulder. "Bella!" she cried. "Are you okay?"

Bella pulled away from me at the sound of her friend's voice. Ignoring the intense desire to keep her safe in my grasp, I opened my arms, and let go. "I'm fine," she managed. Alice took her hands and pulled her to her feet. She didn't even waver. "Edward saved me."

My arms felt strangely empty without her soft, warm weight. I stood too and dragged my hands through my hair. I was awkwardly aware that everyone was staring at me. Bella looked at me, once again capturing me in her beautifully deep eyes. "Thank you," she whispered sincerely.

"Welcome," I said, sounding lame to my own ears. But really, what was I supposed to say? I shifted my gaze down to my feet.

But now, Bella's friends descended and I was pushed to the outskirts of the circle. Now this is where I belonged. "I'm so sorry, Bella!" This came from Tyler, Mike's friend from gym. "I lost control! I hit some ice and just couldn't control the car any more."

"It's okay, Tyler," Bella comforted him. "All's well that end's well, right?"

"Hey Edward, that was incredible."

I turned and saw Emmett standing next to me. Tucked under his arm was the same blonde girl from lunch. I nodded. Adrenaline and fear had pounded through my body and as it wore off, it left me feeling drained and a bit shaky.

"Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen anyone run that fast before. You were like a blur. Like a superhero or something like that."

"Trust me, I am no superhero." More like the bad guy, I thought to myself. I glanced over to where Bella stood, safe in Alice's arms. She was looking in my direction and I looked away quickly.

"You saved her life," the blonde girl next to Emmett said. "I think that makes you a hero."

Suddenly the high pitched ring of sirens pierced through the air. An ambulance barreled its way into the parking lot and pulled to a stop in front of the crowd that had gathered. It was then that I noticed Coach Clapp and Mr. Greene, the principal, standing on the fringes of the crowd of students. "Okay ladies and gentlemen," Mr. Greene said with authority. "Move out of the way."

The paramedics rushed out of the ambulance, pulling a stretcher with them. I saw Bella's horrified eyes staring at the stretcher as it neared her. Her face turned a beautiful shade of scarlet. I almost chuckled. Until I noticed more paramedics approaching me. "I'm fine," I said as they came closer.

"That arm doesn't look so good." One of the EMTs pointed at my arm.

I glanced down and winced at what I saw. I had taken my leather jacket off during Spanish and had never put it back on. My slide across the gravel parking lot resulted in turning my arm into a bloody mess. Now that I thought about it, it was burning something fierce.

"Honestly, I don't need a stretcher," I heard Bella say. I turned my head in her direction and saw her arguing with the medic trying to convince her to lie down. She looked at me. "How come Edward doesn't need a stretcher?"

Mortified that they had another one for me, I looked back at the EMT. "Fine," I said hastily. "I'll go with you guys, but only if I can ride in the front."

He glanced at his partner, who shrugged. "Why not? Go ahead kid. Besides, that's Dr. Cullen's kid, it'll be alright."

His words hit me as I followed them around the ambulance. Dr. Cullen's kid? Me? Had Carlisle told them that?

The ride to the hospital was short, although I could hear Bella arguing from the back of the ambulance, fighting any kind of treatment they offered her. I didn't say anything because I was still afraid that I had hurt her when I tackled her to the ground. It would make me feel better to know that she had escaped the incident unharmed. Let's say she did have a concussion, or head trauma of some kind? What if someone let her sleep and she never woke up? With my luck, that is exactly what would happen.

At the hospital, I walked into the ER. As I went through the door, I heard Bella's disgruntled voice. "How come he can just walk right in?"

I was lead to a room and told that Dr. Cullen would be in to see me shortly. I settled in to wait. After a short amount of time, the curtain drew back, revealing this man that had taken me in.

"Edward." As he approached me, he was already inspecting my arm. "Looks like you've got some serious road burn there." He grabbed his scissors and starting cutting away the bloody, tangled fabric of my shirt. "I heard what you did," he said as he continued to clean my arm.

"Is Bella alright?" I asked anxiously.

Carlisle stopped what he was doing and looked at me. His blue eyes once again penetrating mine. "She is," he finally said. "I looked her over myself. Not a scratch on her. She already left with Chief Swan, her father. You did good." He paused for a second. Then he added. "I'm proud of you."

I'm proud of you. Such simple words. But they ricocheted around my brain as I struggled to accept them. And then he was looking at me with the same glowing expression he had worn as he gazed at Emmett and Alice the night before at dinner. I looked down. "Thank you," I said softly, not knowing what else to say.

There was a sting as Carlisle began wiping a cloth over the wound on my arm. With proficient movements, he wrapped a bandage around my bicep and then he stood back. "Edward, I would like to talk to you, please."

I didn't say anything, just waited to hear what he had on his mind.

"I'm worried about you."

I flinched. I didn't want or deserve his worry. I didn't want to do that to him. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Edward," he sighed my name. "I am going to worry about you. As your guardian, that is my job."

Not necessarily, I thought. One particular guardian came to mind who definitely did not feel the need to worry about me. He only felt the need to pound me into the nearest wall.

Carlisle must have seen something in my eyes, because he huffed softly. "I promise you, I want to help you. I—" he stopped.

I lifted my eyes to his. I could see the hesitation in them. He was unsure and didn't want to push me too far.

"You aren't sleeping, or eating," he continued.

"I am." I promised. "I eat a big lunch at school." The second the lie was out of my mouth, I felt terrible.

He huffed again. "Not according to Alice."

I shifted uneasily on the hospital bed. Now I had been caught in my lie. "I'm sorry," I said again. "I just, I don't know. I haven't been hungry."

"Edward, I know you went through a lot before we found you in Chicago. Neither Esme nor I know the whole story. But I know you were very badly beaten before you were brought to the hospital. And I know," his voice dropped to a whisper as he said the last part, "I know your mother was killed that same night."

I winced, not wanting the memories he was forcing on me. "I'm fine." I looked up at him. "I promise," I said, trying to be convincing. "I will eat more and sleep more. I just needed to work somethings out in my head. But I'm fine, you don't need to worry about me."

Carlisle stared at me for a long time and I fought the urge to squirm. He knew I was lying, I could tell. I felt like he could see all the way to my blackened soul. But he just nodded. "Okay." For now. He didn't say the last part out loud, but I still heard it.

I wanted to give a shoutout to those of you that have reviewed. You have absolutely no idea how exciting it is to check my email and read that someone has enjoyed my story. It is an awesome feeling. So thank you hundred times over. Also, thank you to those of you that have added Fearless as a favorite or are alerted as I update. I love that so many people are reading and enjoying what I have to say. Okay, that's all from me until the next update. Thanks again and please please review!!!!! :o)