Why

Couple: Naitlyn

AN: I own nothing except the plot. Song is Why by Rascal Flatts and the quote is off of One Tree Hill.

Get to hotel, Sleep, get up early, load onto tour bus, drive for hours, unload tour bus, get ready for show, grab some dinner, rock out, and then repeat. Nate Black knew this schedule by heart. After all, he was one-third of the world's most popular band, Connect Three. He sighed as he drug his feet to the tour bus. Normally, he would be ready to move on into another city, but not today.

September fifth was not just an ordinary day, at least for Nate it wasn't. It wasn't a happy day, at all. Nate felt his throat constricting as he entered the tour bus. Mitchie and Shane were already snuggled up together on the sofa, looking happy as ever. Was that what him and Caitlyn would be doing if she were still here? Nate turned his head to the left and saw Jason and Ella talking about random things. He couldn't take this anymore. His brothers had their girlfriends with them and he had.. no one. He felt alone, all the time. He sighed to himself and put his bags on his bunk before sinking into a chair facing the window.

"Morning, Nate!" Mitchie chirped cheerfully, always the morning person.

Nate looked out the window, not saying a word. He couldn't believe it had been two years already. It seemed like just yesterday he had gotten that phone call.

"Nate?" Mitchie's worried voice rang.

"It's September fifth." Nate said softly and continued to look out the window.

"Oh. Mitchie just.. leave him alone, alright?" Shane whispered to his girlfriend.

"Why? What's so wrong with September fifth?" Mitchie asked.

"What's wrong with September fifth? Everything is wrong with this day!" Nate shouted and ran back to the bathroom. He locked the door and stared at himself in the mirror. To make matters worse, they were playing in her hometown that night. He couldn't breathe or sleep without her. He could barely function in this life without her laugh, or her smile.

"It's just a tough day for him. I'll explain later, alright?" Shane replied as he looked at the locked door of the bathroom.

Mitchie nodded and snuggled into Shane's chest, muttering something about what a beautiful day it would be.

He finally came out of the bathroom, but he was looking paler than usual. He had red, puffy eyes. He couldn't get her out of his head. He sat on his bed and his hands gripped at his hair. Why couldn't he have saved her? Why hadn't he done something?

"Nate! Stop!" She giggled as her boyfriend tickled her.

Nate just grinned at the curly-haired beauty and said, "Why?"

"Because you love me!" the girl grinned.

Nate stopped tickling her and pulled her close, "I really do, Cait."

Caitlyn smiled softly and put a hand on Nate's cheek, "I love you, too."

He gripped his hair tighter as he cried. He couldn't let go of the memories. She was gone and that's all that mattered to him right now. It was all that had mattered to him over the past two years. He could care less about the music. What was music without Caitlyn? Nothing. That's exactly what it was.

Someone once said that death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live. He could tell you who said it but who the hell really cares. He should be over it, right? Live and let go is the saying. He knew he was being unhealthy and unsociable by staying in his bunk, but he couldn't even manage up the strength to care.

That night as they were warming up, Nate couldn't help but feel nothing. No excitement, no joy in what he was about to do. He sat at the piano and stared at the keys. He wanted to scream, throw something or do something… something that wasn't what took him away from her.

"Hello?" Nate laughed as he tried to walk away from his brothers.

Shane and Jason laughed and continued to play a video game.

"Nate?"

Nate froze at the voice. It was Caitlyn's mother. She never called him unless it had something to do with Caitlyn.

"Mrs. Gellar, what's wrong?" He asked, worriedly.

Mrs. Gellar started crying and said, "It's Caitlyn, Nate. She—She—"

"She what?" Nate asked softly.

"She killed herself."

With those three words, Nate's world fell apart.

"Hey, Nate?"

He sighed and looked up, "What do you want, Shane?"

Shane held up his hands defensively, "I just wanted to know if you want to go grab something to eat with me, Mitch, and Jase."

"No thanks." Nate snorted.

"Dude, this has got to stop." Shane said, crossing his arms.

Nate looked up at his brother with a raised eyebrow, "What's got to stop?"

"Acting like your life doesn't matter anymore!" Shane exclaimed.

"It doesn't! Don't you get that? She died,Shane. She's not coming back and I can't do anything except play meaningless songs to even more meaningless audiences every day!" Nate shouted, slamming his hands on the piano keys.

"If you hate it so much, why don't you quit?" Mitchie asked, coming to stand by Shane on the stage.

"I.." Nate was speechless. He didn't know. He could easily quit the band. It looked like no one was stopping him.

"Because deep down, you know you love it. You just hate to admit it." Shane said.

Nate sighed then exclaimed, "Or maybe it's because my girlfriend killed herself while I was up here on this stage!"

Mitchie gasped, "What?"

"You heard me right, Mitchie. My girlfriend, a couple years ago, killed herself while I was on tour." Nate yelled.

Shane pulled Mitchie into his arms. She was shocked to the core. No wonder Nate had been acting strange that morning.

Nate sat down at the piano, "I wrote this song for her. I want you both to hear it and maybe you'll understand."

It must've been in a place so dark you couldn't feel the light

Reachin' for you through that stormy cloud

Now here we are gathered in our little hometown

This can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd

Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'

Was there anything I could have said or done?

Oh, I had no clue you were masking

A troubled soul, God only knows what went wrong

And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song

Now in my mind I keep you frozen as a seventeen-year old

Roundin' third to score the winning run

You always played with passion no matter what the game

When you took the stage, you shined just like the sun

Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'

And was there anything I could have said or done?

Oh, I had no clue you were masking

A troubled soul, oh, God only knows what went wrong

And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song

Now the oak trees are swayin' in the early autumn breeze

The golden sun is shining on my face

The tangled thoughts I hear a mockingbird sing

This old world really ain't that bad a place

Oh, why? There's no comprehending

And who am I to try to judge or explain?

Oh, but I do have one burning question

Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?

They were wrong, they lied, and now you're gone, and we cried

'Cause it's not like you to walk away in the middle of a song

Your beautiful song, your absolutely beautiful song

Somehow, Nate felt better than he had in two years. He wasn't happy, not in the least, but he knew she was watching over him. He also knew he loved her with his entire heart and always would.

"Nate," Mitchie exclaimed, "That was beautiful!"

Nate let a tear fall down his face, "Thanks."

"Go." Shane suggested.

"What?" Nate looked up at his brother.

"Go to her grave, Nate. Find the closure you need." Shane said.

"I can't just up and leave you guys—"

"Yes," Shane said softly, "You can and you will."

Nate made it to the cemetery, with little trouble. As soon as he found her grave, Nate's façade crumbled. His breathing got heavier and his vision blurred.

"Why, Caitlyn? Why'd you have to leave me? I'm lost without you." Nate exclaimed and fell to his knees by her grave.

He grieved all over again. He cried, screamed, bargained. In the end, he found himself tracing her name on her grave.

"Nate?"

His finger froze on the grave. He turned around and sighed in relief. It was Caitlyn's mother, not a crazy or obsessed fan like he imagined.

"Hey, Mrs. Gellar." He said softly and stood up.

"I was hoping you'd be here." She said and smiled at him softly, "It's a tough day for all of us."

He nodded, glancing at Caitlyn's gravestone for a brief moment before looking back at Mrs. Gellar.

"I found this in Caitlyn's room." Mrs. Gellar's voice cracked as she spoke her daughter's name.

She handed Nate an envelope with his name written on it. Nate took it with a shaky hand.

"I didn't read it," Mrs. Gellar promised, "I didn't want to intrude your privacy."

"Thank you, Mrs. Gellar." Nate said truthfully and fingered the envelope in his hands, "I should leave and let you…"

Mrs. Gellar nodded as they said their goodbyes. Nate left, but not before noticing Mrs. Gellar break down at Caitlyn's grave.

Dear Nate,

You're probably wondering why I did this. The truth is, I can't explain. I just feel this emptiness, you know? I feel like my life isn't worth it anymore. It has nothing to do with you, trust me. I love you, so much. I hate that I'm leaving you, more than anything. I've been in so much pain these past few months. My Dad hits me, Nate. I'm sure you're wondering why I didn't come to you. I didn't want to bother you.

I love you, Nate. Please don't stop singing because of me. You are an amazing singer and songwriter. Tell Shane and Jase that I'll miss them and their crazy antics. I have to go now. I'll miss you, but I want you to move on with your life. Find someone who loves you. I hope this note helps you, but I know the only thing that might help you right now would be me but we both know that isn't going to happen. I wish you everything you've ever wanted in life, Nate. Know that I'll always be watching over you.

Love,

Caitlyn