Disclaimer: Still don't own Twilight, that honor belongs to Stephenie Meyer.


Chapter 7

For a long moment, we simply stared at each other. I moved my thumb along her soft cheek, just reveling in the fact that she was safe. "You are a bit of a danger magnet, aren't you," I asked softly.

Her lips twisted up. "Seems so. I've always been a bit of a klutz."

I thought of the ungraceful stumbles she had taken while trying to escape. I laughed softly. "Yeah."

I lowered my hand, but she didn't release mine. Holding hands, we began walking down the street, back towards the "tourist" section of Port Angeles. "So, what are you doing here anyway?" I asked her. The back alleys of a city were definitely not the safest place for her, obviously.

"I could ask you the same thing," she said.

I thought of my flight from Esme and Carlisle. Shame and guilt flooded my face and I picked up my pace. They must be going crazy. "I asked you first," I replied quietly. I did not want to explain my shame.

"Well," I looked at Bella and saw the adorable blush fill her cheeks. "You know the dance that's on Saturday?"

"Dance?"

She laughed softly. "Yeah, there are posters up all over the halls at school. It's the yearly girls choice dance."

Oh. Obviously I was a bit unobservant.

She shook her head. "Anyway, I was in Port Angeles shopping for dresses with my friends Angela and Jessica." She made a face as she said Jessica's name. I scoured my memory and came up with a frizzy brown pony tail and a leering smile. I nodded, understanding Bella's dislike. Then it hit me. She was dress shopping. For a dance. Which she would be going to with a date. That was not me. An emotion I didn't care to name ran through me.

"Anyway," Bella continued on, oblivious to my internal defeat. "After getting the dresses, Angela and Jess wanted to walk along the boardwalk. I am in need of some new books, so I decided to hunt down the bookstore. I got a little lost on the way."

I narrowed my eyes and she shrugged. "What can I say? My sense of direction is about as refined as my sense of balance."

Another startled laugh escaped my lips and I shook my head at her. "So who are you going to the dance with?" Like the laugh, the question escaped my lips before I could control it. The second the words were out of my mouth I wanted to rein them in and beat them back. It was none of my business who she went to the dance with. It was good that she was interested in someone else.

Instead of answering, Bella simply looked at me.

"What?"

"You really think I would go to a dance? Trust me, I don't dance."

"Why not?" I turned my head to look at her. She waited for me to make the connection. "Are you referring to the fact that you can't walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over?"

Pink covered her cheeks again. "It does make dancing difficult."

We reached the corner and turned, again entering a whole different world. The streets were lit up as both cars and people went about their business. "I was supposed to meet Jessica and Angela at Bella Italia," she pointed at a restaurant across the street.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I was suddenly anxious to let her out of my sight.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I can see the girls from here." She squeezed my hand. "Don't worry. I'll see you soon, okay?"

I nodded, then watched as she crossed the street. After she was safely in the company of her friends, I took off in the direction of the electronics store. Without Bella's calming influence, my mind began to race out of control. My heart dropped as I slowly walked. I knew it was over, Carlisle and Esme would not be happy with me after the stunt I had pulled. I knew they wouldn't hurt me, but they could do something so much worse. They would send me away from them, away from Bella, away from Forks to live in some group home in Chicago. My stomach twisted as I realized what I had done. They had no reason to keep.

"Edward! Oh thank heavens!"

I turned at the sound of my name and saw Esme was running towards me. My stomach twisted further and I almost bent as the pain stabbed through me. "I'm sorry," I whispered, although I was too far for them to hear.

Esme came to a stop in front of me. "Edward," she said again, sounding out of breath and pain lanced through me again at the worry I must of have caused her. Then, amazingly, I watched her lean forward, her arms stretched. And then she stopped and backed up. I knew what she had wanted and I took a deep breath. Then I stepped forward, my own arms out. Before I could fully comprehend her action, Esme's arms were wrapped around me, her hands stroking my hair. "I'm sorry," I cried.

"Shh," she whispered near my ear.

"I didn't mean too," I whispered. "I don't know why I ran out like that," I babbled on, needing her to understand that I hadn't meant to hurt her.

A hand came to rest on my shoulder and I looked up to see Carlisle looking at me, his eyes filled with patience and understanding. "We know, Edward," he said, his expression intense as he willed me to understand.

Esme hand continued to run soothingly along my back and Carlisle squeezed my shoulder gently. Warmth spread through my chest and I realized how much I wanted to stay here and how bad it was going to hurt when they turned me away. "Please don't send me away." The words came out so softly I wasn't sure they would be able to hear.

Then Esme pulled away and gripped my cheeks in her hands. "We would never, never, send you away."

"We took you in, we aren't giving you up that easily," Carlisle added.

"But I messed up," I whispered. "I ran away from you, I hurt you."

"We don't expect you to be perfect," Carlisle said.

Esme gave my face a slight shake. "We know you are having a hard time right now and that you are dealing with a lot. We will be here when you want to talk and until then, we will just be here."

That warmth in my chest spread even further and I stared at these two people that had changed my life, saved my life. I wasn't ready yet, but it knowing that they would be there mattered. It made me matter. "I can't, yet," I said softly, hoping they would understand. I took Esme's hands off my face and squeezed gently. "But thank you," I looked at Carlisle and met his eyes. "For everything."

***

Later that night, I lay on my bed with my hands behind my head. I had mentioned to Alice that she should call Bella and ask how her trip to Port Angeles was and then I stayed hidden behind the corner until I had heard Alice cheerfully greet Bella. Then I let my self breath, safe in the knowledge that she had made it home safely. Carlisle and Esme had taken me out to dinner, my flight forgotten as they described their days. Carlisle's day fascinated me. He worked in the emergency room and that day he had saved the life of a 16 year old girl. The satisfaction on his face as he related the story made me think about my own life and future. My own father had been a banker. He had seemed content and was able to provide his family with a good life, but he had never had the pride that Carlisle felt for his chosen career. The lulling sound of the drops created an unending rhythm, and slowly my eyes began to droop and I fell into sleep.

Only a few short hours later, I ripped myself out of sleep, screaming. I buried my face in my pillow to silence my screams. My face was soaked with sweat and tears. Somewhere in the distance I heard a clock chime two. I rolled over and stared at the huge window. As usual, rain slid across the slick surface. My life had been completely overhauled in the last three weeks and it made my head spin. I still couldn't believe it all. I fully expected the rug to be pulled from beneath me. I couldn't change what I was or what I had done. The nightmare had forced me into the past. Even now, with all of Carlisle and Esme's creating this warmth in my chest, I could close my eyes and see my mother lying dead on the floor, because of me. I could never forget that. My recklessness had killed her. The familiar pain chilled the warmth in my chest. I pulled my knees up, curling into a ball. I lay on the bed, my eyes unblinking as I stared at the black rain outside my window waiting for the sun to rise.

When the sky finally began to lighten, I pulled back my covers and made my way to the bathroom. I showered and dressed for the day, pulling on jeans and a gray t-shirt. The house was silent as I made my way downstairs, the rest of the family was still sleeping. I bypassed the kitchen, not at all hungry. I didn't have to force food down my throat since Carlisle was not yet awake. Instead, I walked to the family room and out the gigantic French doors. Outside, I breathed in the cleansing air. I began walking towards the forest that encroached on the Cullen's land. I walked for a bit, enjoying the damp, cool air. I came across a river and I sat on the bank, watching the water rush by. It was quiet and peaceful, the complete opposite to the rush of uncertainty that warred within me. I felt as if I stood on the edge of sword, teetering between the image everyone saw, and what I really was. I wished I could be the good person that Carlisle and Esme saw, that Bella saw. But somewhere, something had gone wrong and I was twisted inside. Not good, not like they thought. Time passed while I watched the river, lost in my own thoughts. After a while, I knew that I needed to head back. I didn't want the Cullens to find me gone. I had caused them enough worry last night.

As I reentered the Cullen house, I heard voices in the kitchen. Slowly, I made my way through the house, picking out familiar voices within the conversation. Alice, Emmett, and….Bella. My heart came to an abrupt standstill. Bella was here. I hesitated and then I continued to walk.

"Hey Edward," Alice said as I came to stand in the doorway. Alice was standing beside the counter, waiting for something to heat in the microwave. Emmett was pulling chips out of the cupboard. Slightly startled, I glanced at the clock and saw that it was well past noon. I had been by the river longer than I had expected. Bella sat at the counter, along with the blonde girl I had seen with Emmett before, and a blonde boy. "We are having some queso for snack, would you like to join us?"

Tentatively, I stepped into the room. "Okay."

"Hey man," Emmett beamed at me as he poured tortilla chips into a bowl. "That beautiful creature over there is my girl, Rosalie." He nodded in their direction. "And her twin brother, Jasper."

"My hotter than fire boyfriend," Alice piped in.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Really, Alice."

She took the queso out of the microwave and moved over to where the others sat. She planted a kiss on Jasper's lips. "Don't be embarrassed over something that's true."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her into his lap.

Emmett came up behind Rosalie and draped an arm over her shoulders. "Hey baby," he said as he nuzzled her neck.

Feeling more than a little awkward I went to stand next to the counter. I glanced at Bella and found her looking at me. "Are they always like this?"

Her lips tipped up. "Always," she mouthed. She grabbed a chip and dipped it into the cheese. She chewed, then added, "You have no idea."

I grimaced. "How are you doing, are you okay?" I hoped she understood the double meaning of my question, I didn't want to bring attention to her, but I had to know.

"Yeah, just fine." She smiled at me and grabbed another chip. Beside her, Alice and Jasper continued to whisper sweet nothings to each other. On the other side, Emmett had moved to Rosalie shoulder and was playfully biting.

"You want to get out of here?" I asked her.

She exhaled loudly. "Yes, thank you."

I followed her out of the kitchen. She continued through the family room and out the same French doors I had exited early. She sat on the top step of the porch and I sat beside her. "Always, huh?"

She smiled. "Yeah. It's so much fun being the extra person on the time." She rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I bet."

We sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes. "Can I ask you something?"

I looked at her, she was resting her chin on her knees. "Um, sure," I said, not at all sure if I would answer.

"Why were you in Port Angeles last night?"

I bit my lip. I knew she deserved an answer, but I didn't know if I was brave enough to give her one. She turned her head to look at me as my silence continued. "I was, um. Carlisle and Esme wanted to buy me a stereo system." She waited. "And, I was a little overwhelmed." She waited again and I began to squirm. "I ran out." There. I had said it.

"Why?" she asked quietly.

"I'm not used to it. To their kindness. I didn't know what to do." I looked down at my shoes and shrugged. "Not a good reason, I know."

"People should be kind to you," she believed, "You are so good."

"I'm not Bella." I didn't lift my eyes from my shoes.

"You still don't want to be friends, do you," she accused.

Now I did turn to look at her. I had heard the hurt in her voice and now I could see it burning in her eyes. "Aw Bella, this is wrong."

"What are you talking about? How is it wrong?"

"I don't want to hurt you. You really could do so much better. But-," I stopped, unsure if I should continue.

"But what?" she whispered.

"But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you," I admitted softly.

"Then don't," she breathed.

Our eyes held for what felt like an eternity. I stared into the beautiful chocolate depths and the electricity around us grew, building until it was a tangible force. "Bella," I whispered.

"Edward," she whispered back.

"Hey you two!" The spell was broken as Alice came bouncing on to the porch. "We had an idea!"

We pulled back and I looked around, in a daze. I gotten so lost in her that I had forgotten the world around us.

"What Alice?" Bella nearly growled.

She plopped down on the step next to us. "So Edward, I've noticed that your wardrobe is seriously lacking and Bella--,"

"Alice! Come on! Not today," Bella cried.

"Bella!" Alice whined. "It'll be fun! Come on!" She stood and then pulled Bella to her feet. "You too Edward."

"What are we doing," I asked as we walked into the house. Jasper and Emmett stood in the family room, looking ready to go somewhere.

"Shopping, Edward! Keep up!"

I stopped. "Uh, Alice I don't think that's good idea."

"Why not?"

There were so many reasons, I didn't even know where to start, most distressing was my lack of money.

"Well, I have clothes for one thing."

Her black eyebrow raised and I saw Emmett and Jasper look at each other. "There is more to clothes than T-shirts and jeans."

"I like T-shirts and jeans," I mumbled.

"Not if you are a Cullen," Alice said. Now she grabbed my hand and obviously the debate was over.

I spent the rest of the day shopping with the gang of friends. It was entertaining to say the least. Alice knew her way around a mall like nothing I had seen before. We spent a large amount of time at Alice's favorite men's clothing store, where she spent an even larger amount of money. I had felt physically sick when I had seen the final cost. But Alice had waved a black credit card around and told me to go sit outside with my head between my legs. Emmett had gone with me and assured me that Esme and Carlisle wouldn't mind.

Now, exhausted and loaded down with bags, I made my way to my room. I walked through the door and all the bags slid out of my hands. I gaped at the far wall, my mouth falling open and nothing I could do would close it again.

"Do you like it?" Esme asked from behind me.

Like it? Was she insane? My room had been transformed into a music lover's dream. Bookshelves lined the far wall, holding my new stereo system. Speakers had been installed around the room, creating surround sound. The stereo was surrounded by CDs. Hundreds of CDs. Next to the bookcases stood an electric piano, the headphones draped over the keys. Dazedly, I walked over to the shelves and ran my finger along the titles.

"I pretty much bought every CD at the store," Esme said uncertainly. "I didn't know what you would like, but I wanted you to be able have something to play."

"Esme, I can't thank you enough. This is…insane." I touched the piano. "Way too much."

She smiled. "We know that you enjoy playing, this way you can play whenever you like."

I nodded. "Thank you. I absolutely love it."

She beamed at me and then left me to play with my new toys.

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