Disclaimer: Still don't own Twilight :o)

A/N Thank you to all the people who have reviewed, added me as a favorite story or story alert. I appreciate you more than I can say.


Chapter 8

I stood staring at the phone, my heart pounding in my ears. With a shaking hand, I reached out touched the smooth plastic of the receiver, then pulled my hand back. I took a step back. Then stepped forward again. My shaking hand reached out again. I fisted my hand and let it drop to my side. My stomach knotted and I unclenched my hand. I stared at the piece of paper I held in my opposite hand. The paper was wavering, but I could still make out the numbers written in a messy scrawl. Before leaving last night, Bella had reached out to me, holding a small scrap of paper. Her adorable blush had filled her cheeks as she explained it was her home phone number. Then she had turned and practically ran out the door.

"What are you doing?"

Emmett's loud voice broke through my apprehension. I cleared my throat, intensely embarrassed that I had been caught staring at the phone. "Nothing," I muttered, "Just going to make a phone call."

"In this century?" Emmett asked, a teasing note to his voice.

I glared at him. "Obviously."

He shrugged. "I don't know man, you've been standing staring at the phone for like ten minutes. It's not going to bite you, I promise."

"It has not been ten minutes."

He looked at me pointedly. "She's not going to mind. She wouldn't have given you her phone number if she didn't want you to use it. Besides you two seemed close enough while shopping together."

I didn't blush easily, but I felt my cheeks burn at Emmett's assessment of the situation. I grabbed the phone and dialed the number without taking the time to think about what I was doing. As the phone began to ring I glanced back at Emmett. "Some privacy?"

His laughter boomed out. "Sure thing. Let me know how it goes."

Just then, I heard a man's voice on the other end. "Hello?"

Oh God, I hadn't anticipated her father answering. "Hello, Chief Swan," my voice was about an octave higher than normal. "Is Bella there?"

"Who is this?" I could hear the suspicion in his voice.

"My name is Edward Masen," I replied quietly.

"Oh. You're Dr. Cullen's new boy."

"Yes sir."

"You came to Forks from Chicago, am I right?"

"Yes sir." I fiddled with the cord on the phone, hoping the interrogation would end quickly and he would deem me worthy of talking to Bella.

"What do you think of the Cullen's?" he continued.

"They are wonderful people." I began, not sure what he was looking for. "I am extremely grateful they took me in, sir." I panicked at the silence that ensued on his end. I wondered if I should continue talking. But before I could find something else to say, his voice came through the line.

"I will go get Bella."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, sir."

A moment later, Bella's sweet voice filled my ear. "Edward!" she said happily. "I was hoping you would call."

I immediately felt at ease. All the tension this phone had caused floated away. My stomach unknotted and my hand relaxed on the phone. The only thing that did not change was the pounding of my heart. "Hi Bella, how are you today?"

"Great, now that you called." I heard a slapping sound and envisioned Bella slapping a hand over her mouth and her cheeks turning scarlet.

I laughed softly. "I was wondering if perhaps you would like to see me today." My hand tightened on the phone again. Please say yes, please say yes, I chanted in my head.

"Of course! What would you like to do?"

"Well, I was thinking we could go for a hike, Emmett was telling me of this trail he likes…" my voice faded off and I waited for her answer.

"Um, hiking. Sure."

I remembered her stumbles and smiled. "I won't let you fall."

"Promise?"

"I won't ever let anything hurt you, Bella." Including me.

"Well, in that case, I will pack us a picnic. What time do you want to meet?"

I glanced at the clock on the microwave. It was nine in the morning. "How about I pick you up in an hour?" Surely the Cullens would let me borrow a car.

"Sounds great. See you then, Edward."

"Bye Bella." I hung up the phone and tried to control the grin that was spreading over my face.

"Told you she wouldn't mind."

I spun around and saw Emmett leaning against the door frame.

"How long have you been standing there?" I demanded.

"Just long enough to hear the tail end, I promise. I was hungry." He shoved off the frame with his shoulder and walked over to the refrigerator. He pulled an apple out and waved it around. "Besides, what else are big brothers good for, if not to be annoying?"

I couldn't help it. My smile returned. The idea of being Emmett's little brother touched me in a way I hadn't thought possible. I had always been on my own. "I thought it was the little brother's job to be annoying. You know, tag along with you everywhere." I couldn't believe how lighthearted I felt at this moment.

Emmett laughed. "You can tag along anytime." He held out his fist to me.

I held my fist out and touched his. "Thanks." I hoped he knew all that I was thanking him for.

"Anytime."

I went upstairs to get ready for my day with Bella. Butterflies filled my stomach at the thought of spending all day with her. I had spoken the truth the other day when I had told her I was tired of trying to stay away from her. It was exhausting trying to fight the electricity that surrounded us. Fighting to stay away from her was like trying to wade upstream through a river of mud. It was almost like there was some invisible force pushing us together. I couldn't fight it anymore. I just hoped with everything I had that I wouldn't hurt her. There was still a huge part of me that was waiting for the monster to come out and destroy all the people around me, again. The monster was sleeping right now, but I knew it wouldn't sleep forever. I just hoped that when he reared his head again, neither Bella nor any of the Cullens would be in its path.

***

I had found her house easily enough. Carlisle had let me borrow his Mercedes for the day and I tried to remember everything that I had learned in driver's ed as I drove the car that cost more than my house in Chicago. I was a little worried though, as I had walked away from Carlisle, he had begun talking to himself. I had heard the words "needs a car of his own," before I walked out the door. They had already spent way too much money on me.

I pulled up in front of the small house and parked. A large red truck stood in the gravel driveway. There was no sign of the chief's police cruiser and I couldn't help the relief I felt at not having to face the chief of police in person. I got out of the car and walked up to the door. The door opened immediately after I knocked and I smiled at the thought of her watching for me.

"Hey!" She smiled at me.

"Hi, are you ready?"

She nodded, then turned to grab a backpack. "Lunch," she explained.

I nodded and lead her out to the car. I opened her door, and then ran around to my side. Very carefully, I began to drive in the direction Emmett had explained. I turned on to one-oh-one north, driving past the town limits. Trees and underbrush took the place of houses. Then I turned onto one-ten and drove until the pavement ended.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked.

I smiled. "You'll see."

When the road ended, I parked and then hurried to get to Bella's side before she had opened the door. I smiled at her as she stepped out. I took the backpack from her and put it in place on my back. Then I held out my hand for her. She hesitated for the briefest moment, and then took my hand. "I'm not very good at hiking," she said softly as we approached the woods.

"Don't worry. Like I said, I won't let you fall."

We walked in pleasant silence for a while, listening to the sounds of the forest around us. A breeze blew through the tops of the trees, causing the leaves to rustle. For a bit, those leaves, our footsteps and breathing were the only sounds. But it was nice. I felt comfortable with her and neither of us felt the need to fill the quiet. Whenever we came to a fallen log, I helped her over, putting my hands on her tiny waist and lifting her over. I held her elbow whenever we hit a rough patch. Not once did she fall. At one point, we hit a fairly steep decline. "Put your hands on my shoulders," I instructed her as she stood staring at the descent. I took the backpack off and held it in front of me.

She looked at me, apprehension clear in her beautiful eyes.

"Do you trust me?" I whispered.

"In theory," she whispered back.

I laughed softly. "Hold on." I turned my back to her, and then felt her tiny hands on my shoulders, gripping my shirt. I starting walking down and felt her follow my steps. "Step where I do," I told her. I tested each step, making sure it was safe for her. I went slow, but kept up a steady pace. After a few minutes, we reached the bottom. "See," I said as I put the backpack back in place. "Piece of cake."

She laughed. "Whatever you say." She took my hand again and we continued to walk. "So…" she started.

"Yeah?"

"Well, I was just wondering, what's your favorite color?"

"Red." I paused for second, wondering where that had come from. My favorite color used to be blue.

"What?" she asked. She must have felt the pause.

"Nothing," I mumbled, embarrassed because I had realized what had caused my preference change.

"Now you have to tell me!" Bella pulled on my hand. "Come on Edward!"

"Er…," I coughed, trying to hide my unease. "You see, well it's the color your cheeks turn when you--," I didn't finish, just watched as that beautiful color crawled up her face. "Yeah, like that. It's beautiful."

She ducked her head and shoved me with her free hand. I smiled. "Don't be embarrassed. I mean it as a good thing. So what's your favorite color?" I asked hoping to distract her.

For a second, she hesitated, and then appeared to look at her shirt. "It changes day to day." She tugged at her shirt. "But today it must be brown. I tend to wear my favorite color," she explained.

"Brown?" That surprised me. She didn't seem to be a pink kind of girl, but I still had expected her to enjoy a slightly more girly color.

"Yeah, brown is warm. I miss brown. Nothing is brown here, even things that are supposed to be. Tree trunks, dirt. It's all covered in green here."

I stared at her, drowning in her chocolate eyes. They had to be the most stunning eyes on the planet. Then I nodded. "Yeah, I agree. Brown is warm."

We stopped walking and I continued to stare into her eyes. I reached up and touched her cheek. The electricity that swirled around us was intoxicating.

"Edward," she whispered.

I broke the spell, pulling my gaze from hers. "So what's your favorite gem stone?" I asked as I started walking again.

"Emerald."

She stopped walking.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Oh come on. I told you why red is my favorite color. Now you have to tell me why you like emeralds."

"Fine! They are the color of your eyes. Happy?"

A huge smile broke over my face. "Very. What's your middle name?"

"Marie. You?"

"Anthony."

"What CD is in your music player, right now?" She asked, continuing with our impromptu game of twenty questions.

I racked my brain, trying to remember what I had been listening to last. I had gone through many CDs the previous night after the nightmare had forced me out of sleep. I named the rock band that I had put on while getting dressed.

She smiled. "Phil gave me that CD for my birthday."

"When's your birthday?"

"September 13. When's yours?"

"June 20. What CD is in your player?" I fired back at her, enjoying getting to know her.

"Hm. Debussy, I think."

I stopped walking and stared at her.

"I know, I know. It's classical. But it reminds me of my mom. She always used to listen to Clair de Lune while she cleaned."

I forced myself to continue walking and not think about my own memories associated with the song. Now was not the time to get lost in the past. "What is your mom like?" I asked gently.

"She's a lot like me, only much prettier."

"I doubt that," I said honestly.

She smiled and rolled her eyes. "She's funny and erratic. She comes up with crazy schemes and hardly ever sees them through. She's my best friend."

"You miss her."

"Of course. But, this was for the best."

"When did you move here," I asked her.

"In eighth grade. Mom married Phil and I just thought it best that I give them some space."

My heart stopped as I remembered my own horrifying experience with a stepfather. "Why?" I managed to sound somewhat normal, but I dreaded her answer. The thought of her dealing with an abusive stepfather made my blood run cold.

She shrugged, unaware of my turmoil. "Phil's a minor league baseball player. He needed to travel a lot and I could tell that it was hard for my mom to stay with me."

I breathed out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "So, you like Phil?"

"I guess. He's a good guy, just a little young for my mom. But she's happy. They've been married for almost four years and still act like newlyweds. Who am I to say anything?"

Thank God, I thought. "How old are you, Bella?"

"Seventeen."

"You don't act seventeen."

"Neither do you." She looked up at me and smiled. Then she looked straight ahead and gasped.

I followed her gaze and understood the gasp. We were standing in the most beautiful meadow I had ever seen. It was almost a perfect circle, small and filled with wildflowers. Violet, yellow and soft white filled the meadow floor.

The sky opened over the meadow and the rays of sunlight hit the ground creating a magical aura to the place.

"Wow," Bella breathed.

"Yeah," I agreed, just as amazed as she was. "I think this would be a good place for our picnic.

"Agreed."

I set the backpack on the ground and she knelt to pull out what she had brought. First to appear was a large blue blanket. I took it from her and spread it out on the ground. I sat next to her and helped her pull out containers. She opened the containers and gave me a plate. Following her lead, I took a piece of sliced French bread and spread some mustard on it. Then I took some salami and cheese and laid it on the bread. I scooped some fruit salad on to my plate and sat back. "This looks wonderful," I said sincerely. She had obviously put a lot of time into this picnic.

"I'm glad you like it."

We ate, enjoying our surroundings and continued to ask questions back and forth. When we were done I helped her pack up the bag again.

"Edward," she asked as I zipped up the bag and set it aside.

"Yeah?" I sat back down next to her.

"What were your mom and dad like?"

I looked down as memories began to assault me. She shifted until she was sitting directly in front of me. She picked my hand up and held it tightly in her lap. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the need to tell her. I wanted to tell her it all, every truth about me.

"My mom and dad met in high school," I started. "They met in their junior year and were pretty much inseparable after that. High school sweethearts, if you will." I smiled briefly. "When they graduated, they attended Northwestern University together. Dad majored in business, Mom in education. During their senior year, Dad took her into Chicago for a romantic weekend. They stayed at the Ritz and he got Cubs tickets." My eyes drifted shut as I retold the story they had told me so often as a little boy. God, they had been so in love. "It was at the game that he proposed. He had it flash up on the Jumbo-tron." Lizzie, my love, you are my one true love. I promise to love you until the day I die. Will you marry me? "When she saw the message on the screen, my dad got on one knee, holding a timeless diamond ring. She said yes, of course.

They got married a year after they graduated. Dad had wanted to get a handle on his career before they said their vows. He worked at the bank and started moving up the ladder and Mom was able to stay at home. Two years later, she got pregnant."

"With you," Bella injected quietly. Her hand was tracing the lines in mine, but I hardly felt it.

"Yeah. With me. They were so excited." The day I found out we were pregnant, I picked your mom up and spun her around. Along with the day she said yes, it was the best day of my life. "We were the perfect family. They were so in love and it spread to me. I worshiped my father and thought my mother was the most beautiful, most caring woman in the world. It was perfect." I stared at our hands. As if sensing the story was about to take unhappy turn, she stopped tracing my hand, instead holding it tightly with both of hers. "I had just turned six and we were going to a Fourth of July picnic. I was excited because it was the first time I was going to see the fireworks. We were going to the river for a barbeque." Don't forget your glove, son. We will play a game of catch before it gets dark. "On the way there, a car ran a red light and slammed into our car." My voice dropped to a whisper and the words burned my throat. "I don't remember much about the accident, except that when I opened my eyes I was outside of the car. My mom was sitting next to me. Dad was lying on the ground a few feet away. I crawled to him and he saw me." I love you Edward. "He died only seconds after he told me he loved me." My hand tightened on hers.

"My mom heard his last words. When he died, it was like something in her was broken. She didn't smile anymore. She hardly got out of bed. I used to go in her room and sit on her bed and hold her hand. She wouldn't talk to me. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help her. My dad had told me to protect her and I knew I was failing."

"You were only six," she whispered.

"Time passed and eventually she got out of bed. We were living on my dad's life insurance policy and the money she got from the man that hit us. He was drunk." I continued. "She started going out, started caring about herself again. One day, about two years after my father died, she brought him home." Edward, honey, I'm getting married. He'll be able to provide for us and take care of us. "I told her that I could take care of us, I didn't want any one to take the place of Dad, but she said I was too little. We needed him, she said. They got married when I was nine." I shook my head. "She didn't love him, not really. She was running out of money and scared, I guess. She must have been lonely as well. I don't know." I inhaled deeply, then exhaled.

"Edward," Bella tried to get my attention. She squeezed my hand. "You don't have to tell me this."

I lifted my eyes to her, looking at her for the first time since I had begun. "I know. I want you to understand. If you are going to get involved with me, you have to know the truth."

"Nothing you can say can change the way I feel about you."

"Don't say that Bella. Not yet. I'm a monster."

"I don't believe that."

"That's because you believe the charade," I whispered harshly. "Six months after they got married, he started hitting her. At first, it was just a slap if she said something he didn't like. But it got worse. I hated it. She may have changed since my dad died, but I loved her just as much as I always had. She was my mom, my dad's angel. No one should hurt her. I had to protect to her. When I was ten, I finally convinced him to beat me instead. From then on, I made sure he hit me instead of her. I ran home from school everyday to make sure that I was there when he got home from work. I wouldn't let him touch her." Except once. But that was all it took.

"Edward," she gasped. "No…you were just a little boy. How could she let that happen?" she demanded to know.

"When my dad died, his last words were to me, that he loved me. My mom was crawling over to him and she heard what he said. He didn't look at her, most likely because he was in so much pain he didn't see her or realize that she was so close. I'm sure that if he'd known, he would have turned to her. But she resented the fact that his last words were to me." I moved my shoulders uneasily. "I wish he had seen her."

Bella's mouth dropped open. She forced it closed, then opened it again. "That doesn't make sense," she finally got out.

"She was devastated when he died. Nothing she did from that moment on made any sense."

"But you were her child. A part of the man she loved." She shook her head.

"Bella, please don't blame her. When my dad died, the woman she was died as well. Please. I don't blame her, please don't."

"Okay. But you've had enough." She reached out, cradling my face in her hands. Her thumbs wiped at the tears that had started to work their way down my cheeks. "Enough for today." She crawled into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. I buried my face in her neck and let her rock me. I was grateful to stop, even though I wanted her to know all of the truth. I wasn't ready for her to meet the monster inside of me yet. So I held on and let myself be comforted by her warm embrace.

I pulled away and saw the tears on her cheeks. "Hey," I whispered, "What is this?"

"I don't like anything hurting you, Edward. You are too precious for that." She whispered.

I shook my head.

"Yes." She gripped my cheeks. "You, Edward Anthony Masen are."

"Bella," I whispered. The atmosphere around us changed. She reached down and took my hand. Without breaking eye contact, she lifted my hand to her cheek. I rubbed my thumb along her cheek. "Bella," I whispered again.

I could feel her warm breath against my lips. My eyes slid closed at the first touch. I heard her moan and her arms came to wrap around my neck and she pressed herself closer. The hand on her cheek moved to grip the back of her head, my fingers twisting in her soft hair and my other arm snaked around her waist. The kiss deepened as I moved my lips against hers. Sparks seemed to explode around us as the electricity between us ignited.

I tore my lips off hers, gasping for breath. She did the same as she buried her face in my neck. I pressed my lips into her hair.

"Oh my God," I heard her pant and I smiled.

"Yeah," I said, kissing her hair again. "I agree."

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