Chapter Nine

"Bella," he breathed when a gust of wind hit us and specks of rain began to spit from the sky. "Stop," he gently pushed me back at arm's length. "Are you sure?"

I felt like crying. Now the transgression was real. Now pain was inevitable. Jacob's pain, Edward's pain, and my own. I'd made a mess. "No," I sighed against him. "Not really."

"I should go," he said.

"Go?" my voice broke with fear and desperation.

"Yes," he said. "Just back to the hotel. I think," he nodded, "you need some time to think about what you'd like to do."

"Okay," I said, my voice small.

"Here," he took my hand in his and pulled a pen from a pocket inside his blazer. "This is my number at the hotel. I won't be far." The pen was cold on my skin as he printed his telephone number on my palm. "Call me for anything," the tiniest smirk, "Day or night."

"Edward," I sighed.

"Bella?"

"Promise me you won't disappear again," I whispered, as if Jacob had planted spies around campus who might hear this and report it to him.

His eyes narrowed with pain, and he placed a cool hand on the side of my face. "Not unless you order me away," he promised.

We stood for a moment like that, him cradling my cheek as people passed us on their way to class. Finally, I brought my hand up to his and pulled it away. "I'll talk to you soon," I said, giving his hand a tiny squeeze.

He nodded quietly, squeezing my hand back. With trepidation, he leaned forward and kissed my forehead before repeating, "Soon," and releasing my hand as he walked away towards the parking lot. Part of me wanted to run after him, if only for the chance to see the Volvo again, but I held my ground. I owed Jacob at least that much.

I wallowed through the rest of my Thursday, skillfully dodging both my roommates for fear of their reactions to Edward and giving minimal effort in all my classes. I was in a daze of uncertainty all day. By dinnertime, my eyes had all but glazed over as I sat on the couch and tried to get my mind to focus on the television. I didn't even hear Rachel approach me and sit on the opposite end of the couch. "Just call Jacob," she said bluntly. "The sooner you do, the less it will hurt."

I blinked a few times.

"I mean, I don't know," she shrugged, "I'm assuming the other one's not going anywhere."

I just stared.

"And I don't want to judge you, Bella. You're, like, my best friend. But…I hate it when nice people get screwed over. It's not right."

"I know," I said.

"So just call Jacob and let him know that it's over—"

"Over?" I choked on the concept. "It's not over with me and Jacob, Rachel."

"Bella," she said, doubtful.

"I love Jacob," I said.

She sighed. "Did you do anything with Edward today, Bella?"

One small lie. "No. We just talked. I told him I'm with Jacob," I said.

"And that you want to stay with Jacob?" she encouraged.

"I told him that I couldn't hurt Jacob." I nodded.

"And he's cool with that?"

I sighed.

"Oh, Bella," she shook her head, "Please call your boyfriend. Just tell him that you've been talking with Edward, okay? Don't keep secrets. He's going to find out sooner or later. So just tell him now. Okay?"

I sucked in a breath. "I don't want to hurt him, Rachel."

She nodded. "Then don't hurt him." She leaned over and picked up my cell phone from the coffee table. Charlie had bought it for me when I'd decided to come to Seattle. It wasn't anything fancy. There was no texting, just normal phone calls. I stared as she held it out to me. "Do you want me to stay here with you?" she offered.

"No, that's okay," I said. Especially since certain words like vampire and sworn enemy were likely to come up. "Thanks, Rach."

She put a hand on my shoulder. "I'll be upstairs if you need me, okay?"

"Yeah," I said, and she nodded and left me to my chore. Jacob was number three on my speed dial, second only to Renee and Charlie.

It felt like an hour passed as I listened to the dial tone until Billy finally picked up. "Hello."

"Hey, Billy. It's, uh, me," I said sheepishly. "Is Jake there?"

"Sure is, hold on just a sec, Bella," he told me.

I was chewing off my lip when I heard Jacob breathe into the phone, "Hey, you."

"Hey," my voice raised an octave.

He laughed at the overly enthusiastic greeting. "What's up, Bells?"

"I, um, not much. What's up with you?" Damn it.

"Eh, we're pretty boring over here. Sam's got us doing this weird training ritual that's sort of a pain, but whatever," he said. "And I am incredibly over school."

"Oh," I mumbled. "Well, that's okay. You've only got, like, three months left, right?"

"Ugh," he groaned. "Feels like forever."

Forever.

"Heh," I bit my lip, "Uh, Jake? I, uh, well, I need to tell you something."

"Uh oh," he chuckled, "Should I be worried?"

"No!" I assured him. "Not at all. Don't worry about a thing. Everything's fine; I just—you need to know something. Okay?"

"Sure, Bella. What's up?"

"Um, okay. Don't be mad, okay?"

He paused. "Bella?"

"Like, nothing's wrong. Remember that."

"You're freaking me out, Bells. What's going on?"

"Well, I, um, an old acquaintance of mine came to campus today, and I, uh, met with—" cough "—him, and we had lunch, and Rachel thought I should tell you about it."

"Him?" Jacob just sounded confused. "Is he, like, a friend of your from Phoenix? Or, what's his name, that Mike Newton kid?"

"No."

"Well, whatever. You can hang out with whoever you want. You know that. I don't—why would Rachel want you to tell me?" he asked.

"Uh," I closed my eyes. Just do it. Rip off the band-aid. Don't lie. "Because." It's the right thing to do. "Because he's Edward Cullen."

Silence.

I brought my free hand to my forehead. "Jake?"

Nothing.

"Jake? Are you still there?"

"Edward Cullen," he said, his voice lower and harsher than I'd ever heard it.

My throat was coated with fear. "It's not a big deal, Jacob. Nothing happened."

"Nothing happened," he said, a biting laugh curling the edges of his words. "The filthy, blood-sucking leech who ripped you into pieces rolls into town, and you want me to believe that nothing happened."

"Nothing. Happened," I repeated. "We talked. That's all."

"You talked to him!"

"He wanted to talk to me, Jake. What was I supposed to do?"

"You're supposed to say, 'Yeah, you know, as much fun as I'm sure that would be, I've moved on with my life and have no interest in talking to you!'"

"Jacob, calm down."

"He's dangerous, Bella."

I sighed. "He's not. He's—he's been working as an intern in a hospital, surrounded by blood all the time, and he's fine—"

"Well, how nice for him."

"Please, Jacob. Stop it. You're overreacting."

"I'm overreacting! Bella, I saw what that thing did to you! I was the one who had to put you back together! To clean up his mess!"

I paused. "Well then. All right. I'm sorry being there for me was such a chore for you. I won't inconvenience you, again."

"No, stop it. That's not what I meant."

"Goodnight, Jacob."

"Bella, stop—"

I hung up.

...and then you reviewed....