Disclaimer: Twilight and all it's wonderful characters belong to Stephenie Meyer


Chapter 10

When lunch was over, we said goodbye to the others and headed to Biology. I held her hand as we walked and tried to ignore the stares. She squeezed my hand tighter as if she sensed my tension. We arrived at the biology room and took our seats. A cheer went up throughout the room as Mr. Banner walked in, dragging an ancient TV with him. Today was a movie day.

As soon as the lights went out, I became hyper aware of Bella sitting next to me. My fingers tingled and the hairs on my arm stood on edge. I opened and closed my fist a few times, and then gave up. My hand shot out and took a hold of hers. I pulled her hand underneath the table and rested our intertwined fingers on my thigh. She turned to glance at me as the movie started, lighting up the room slightly. I could see the relief in her eyes and knew she had felt the same awareness in the dark.

As the movie started, Bella began to run her thumb across my knuckles and as it progressed, she became braver. Gently, slowly she pulled her hand out of mine and began softly tracing the lines in my palm. I bit down on my lip to keep my gasp of pleasure from escaping. My heart pounded as her gentle fingers moved back and forth along my palm. Over and over, she traced the inside of my hand, moving from my fingers to my wrist. I splayed my hand wider, giving her more access.

Somewhere in the background the movie played, but I couldn't tell anyone what it was about. All of my attention was focused on my hand and stirrings in my own body. My other hand fisted as I resisted the urge to grab Bella and kiss her with all the passion that was starting to build.

And then the movie was over. The lights came on and Bella withdrew her hand. I looked at her face and saw a smile teasing her lips. She looked up at me, the beautiful blush in full bloom. Silently, we gathered our books and then I held her hand again as I walked her to gym. When we arrived at the door, she turned to face me. I brought our linked hands up to her cheek and tenderly ran my knuckle along her cheek, running a line from her hairline to her jaw. Then I leaned in to kiss her lips.

"Edward," she whispered against my lips. I deepened the kiss and then pulled away.

"I'll see you after gym," I said quietly.

"Sounds good," she said. I smiled at the regret in her voice. I kissed her again, then turned away to get to Spanish on time.

Spanish dragged on and I spent most of the time watching the clock. I couldn't wait to see her again, hold her hand again, kiss her again. Finally, the bell rang, ending the class period and the day. I grabbed my books and headed back to the gym doors. I saw Emmett grinning at me as I rushed out the door.

I was leaning against the wall when she walked out. I watched her smile grow as she saw me waiting for her.

"Hey," I said as she reached me.

Without a word, she grabbed the back of my neck and pulled my lips down for a kiss. "Hey," she said when it was done.

"How was gym?" I held her hand again as we made our way to the parking lot.

"It was gym," she said with distaste.

I laughed. "That bad huh?"

"Yeah, I don't get how you like gym so much. Today we ran sprints. Not a good thing."

I watched the blush creep up her cheeks and my curiosity got the better of me. "What happened?"

"Nothing," she muttered.

I waited patiently.

"I ran. I tripped. I ran some more. I tripped some more. Pretty standard day all in all." She glanced up at me and I could see the humor lurking in her eyes.

I smiled gently, "Did you hurt yourself?"

"No, I'm pretty good at tripping without injury, I've had enough practice at it."

I laughed softly.

"Hey Bella, Edward!" Alice came skipping up to us. "I don't have play practice today, so we want to head out and get some ice cream." She waved her hand in the direction of my car and I saw Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie standing near it. "Want to come?"

Bella glanced at me and I nodded. "Sure. Sounds good. We can celebrate the survival of Monday."

Alice laughed. "Exactly, come on!" She linked elbows with Bella's free arm and steered her to my car. "We can come back for your truck."

All six of us piled into my car, Rosalie on Emmett's lap in the front. "Hopefully we won't pass any cops on the way," I commented as I started the engine.

"Bella's with us. I'm sure she can sweet talk any of them, after all she is the Chief's daughter," Alice said cheerfully.

I caught Bella's eye in the rear view mirror and she smiled at me. Just then, Emmett found a song on the radio that he liked and music blared out of the speakers. Alice, Rosalie and Bella sang along while Emmett and Jasper moved their heads in time with the music.

Emmett continued to show off his djing skills until we pulled up to the ice cream parlor. We walked in and I was instantly met with the sugary sweet smell of ice cream. "What do you usually get," I asked Bella. I hoped my lack of ice cream knowledge would stay hidden. The last time I had gotten ice cream, I was five years old.

"Hmm," Bella scanned the tubs of ice cream. "I think today I will get chocolate chip. What about you?"

"That sounds good to me too."

After we all got out ice cream, we went outside to sit. It was a rare sunny day in Forks and we took advantage of it. I sat down next to Bella to eat my treat. As I listened to the group around me, I tried to push the guilt away, tried not to compare my old life with my new life. I especially tried to not to think about what exactly had caused the change. But it was hard. I didn't deserve this and it was getting harder and harder to push away.

And then a small hand appeared on my thigh, rubbing small circles. I glanced over and met her chocolate eyes. I could see the concern in their depths and I some how managed a small smile and tried to tune into the conversation that was going on around me.

"So what do you guys think? Sound good?" Alice was leading the conversation, of course.

"I have dance team practice Fridays," Rosalie said.

Alice shrugged. "I have play practice. You guys can plan to come over at 6:30pm. Does that sound good?"

I had missed something. "Sleep over," Bella whispered to me. "Friday night." I nodded.

"Sounds good," Rosalie said and the guys nodded their agreement. "What do you guys want to eat?"

"Pizza," Emmett and Jasper replied.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Of course. I will make a salad as well."

Now it was the boys' turn to roll their eyes.

"I'll bake something," Bella added.

Now Emmett and Jasper looked at each other. "Yes!" Jasper pumped his fist in the air. He looked at me. "You just wait Edward. That girl can bake."

Didn't surprise me. I bet there wasn't much that Bella couldn't do.

When our bowls had been scraped clean, and plans for the sleep over finalized we all piled back into my Volvo. I drove back to the school and we dropped off Bella, Jasper and Rosalie.

After I said good bye to Bella and drove away from the school, I tried really hard not to think about how much I missed her. Just her presence gave me so much comfort and it was like she understood things about me that I hardly realized myself. She knew when I was hurting and needed extra comfort. My hands tightened on the steering wheel as I thought of how selfish I was being, taking advantage of her kindness.

"You like her a lot, don't you?" Alice asked from the back seat.

"Yeah," I said quietly.

"She likes you too, you know."

"Yeah."

"You guys were meant to be with each other," she continued with conviction. "Don't ever doubt that."

I was starting to think that everyone could read my mind. Was I that obvious? I pulled up to the Cullen mansion and got out of the car without saying anything. What was I supposed to say?

When we walked into the house, we were met by a very excited Esme. "Hello my dears!" she nearly sang. She embraced Alice and Emmett. When she came to me, she hesitated, so I stepped forward and allowed her to fold me into a hug. I awkwardly wrapped my own arms around her slight frame and then stepped back. Her smile grew wider, if that was even possible. "I have news!"

"What is it, Mom?" Alice asked. She seemed to be bubbling with enthusiasm as well.

"Come, come!" She led us into the family room and to the table stood against the back of the cream couch. "Look!" she pointed at a vase that sat on the table. "Isn't it stunning?"

"Mom, is that the vase you've been looking for?" Emmett asked.

She nodded, her eyes sparkling with excitement. She caressed the gold handles of the vase. "French porcelain," she murmured. "From the 19th century. Gold inlay," she smiled and looked back at us. "Look at the detail."

Alice and Emmett ohed and awed over the vase, remarking on the delicate flowers and the intricate details of the handles.

"It's very pretty," I said, feeling very out of my element.

Esme smiled at me. "I collect antiques," she explained. "I've been searching this particular vase for a while."

"Where'd you finally find it?" Alice asked.

"At the auction I went to today in Olympia. I got it for only $4,500!"

I gasped and took a small step back. Four thousand five hundred dollars for a vase? I stepped back again, scared that my very presence could cause the thing to shatter.

Emmett laughed when he saw my reaction. "Don't worry, Edward, that really is very cheap. Mom has spent ten times as much for items."

Esme smiled. "This is more priceless though," she said, still gazing at her vase. "It's something I've wanted for so long." Then she snapped out of her reverie. "But anyway. I'm sure you all have homework." She ushered us out of the room and up the stairs. I went to my own room and settled in to complete my homework.

Later that night, I lay in bed thinking of Bella. I was hoping that if I could keep her face in the front of my mind, my nightmares would stay away. I was exhausted and didn't need the constant reminder of the monster inside of me. Unfortunately the plan did not work.

"Hey, Edward. Do me a favor?"

I looked up from my Algebra homework. "Yeah, Mom?"

"Bring me a glass of wine."

I sighed and walked to the cabinet that held the alcohol. I stopped on the way to stir the meat that I was browning for dinner. I picked up the wine and poured a glass. My mom had started drinking about a year ago. I knew it helped her escape the realities of life and I couldn't deny her that. But I didn't like it.

"Here, Mom."

She barely took her eyes off the TV as she took the glass out of my hands. "Thanks sweetie," she muttered.

"Yeah," I said softly. I went back to the kitchen, gave the meat another stir and then bent back over my Algebra book again. I tried to block out the sounds of Oprah as I worked on my math. I broke concentration every few minutes to stir the meat. Once it was browned, I sprinkled some garlic in, then poured a jar of spaghetti sauce over the meat. I gave it a stir and set it on simmer. It was 4:30 and he would be home in a half hour. Dinner had to be on the table. I filled a large pot with water and set it to boil.

"Edward!" Mom called from the family room.

I went to her and took the empty glass she held out to me. "Are you sure you want more?"

Her sad eyes looked at me.

I nodded and turned back to the kitchen where I refilled her glass. "I'm sorry, Dad," I whispered to myself. Seven years ago I had promised to protect her. I was failing miserably.

I went back to my mom and handed her the wine. This time, she didn't say anything to me. Once again, I went back to the kitchen to work on my math homework. I had finished two problems when I heard the water begin to boil. I grabbed the noodles and dumped them into the pot, stirring quickly. I set the timer for ten minutes. I picked up my pencil.

"Edward?"

I put my pencil down and went to get her more wine. I didn't say anything now. Her eyes were already glassy when I handed her the full glass.

I managed to get three problems done before the timer went off. The noodles were done and I poured them into the strainer. I took two plates, forks and napkins to the table. At five o'clock I heard the sound of the garage opening. I took a deep breathe and glanced at my mom. She sat on the couch, still absorbed in the TV.

"Edward! Beer. Now."

I jumped slightly as he walked in, demanding alcohol. He had had a bad day. Great. I raced to the kitchen, grabbed a Coors Light from refrigerator and ran out to hand it to him. "What the hell took so long?" he growled at me. With no further warning, he backhanded me across the face.

"Sorry," I whispered, then turned back to the kitchen to finish dinner. Hurrying now, I grabbed the salad I had made and pulled the bread out of the oven. I took both to the table. "Dinner's ready," I said as I walked back to the kitchen to grab the pasta so I could serve it once they sat down.

Before I could get back to the kitchen, Mom stood up and I watched her teeter on her feet. She managed a few steps before she stumbled and ran into the bookcase along the wall. Horrified, I watched her hand swipe at his prized statue of Buddha. It hit the tiled floor and shattered, sending pieces flying. "No," I gasped and my shoulders slumped.

He spun around at the sound of shattering glass. "What the --," he shouted. "My Buddha!"

I ran to my mother before he got there and moved her out of the way of his flying fist. I took the first blow to the top of my head. "Mom," I shook her to get her attention. "Mom go to your room, please."

He hit me again, catching my lower back this time. I stumbled, but didn't fall. "Mom, please," I begged. "Please get out of here."

Another blow fell and he tried to shove me out of the way. She looked at me one more time, and then raced out of the room, stumbling along the way. I breathed in relief when she disappeared down the hallway.

"God damn it!" He grunted, hitting me again. "Why do you always get in the damn way!" Blows began to fly.

"You won't hurt her," I managed to get out. He grabbed the front of my shirt, then shoved me away. I fell back and hit my head on the corner of the coffee table. Stars danced in front of my eyes. Dazed, I watched him walk towards me, yanking his belt off as he neared. His eyes narrowed as he bent down to grab my shirt. He pulled my shoulders off the ground, then delivered another punishing blow to my stomach. I grunted as the air was forced out of my lungs and tried to pull my knees up. He roughly flipped me over, then tore my shirt from my back. Within seconds, the belt began to bite into the tender flesh of my back. I curled into a ball, but didn't fight. I knew fighting would just make it worse.

My eyes popped open and I stared into the black room. My breathes were coming out in gasps and when I ran my hand over my face, I found it soaked with sweat and tears. I sat up, shaken by the nightmare. I rested my cheek on my up drawn knees, closed my eyes and watched the rest of that night play behind my eyelids. After he had finished beating me, I had served his dinner. The noodles and bread had been cold by that time and he had punched me in the stomach for that infraction. My mom had come and they had eaten dinner. While they ate, I finished my math homework. If I remembered correctly, he had found three more reasons that night to beat me. It had been one of the more painful nights of my life.

I opened my eyes and uncurled my body. Stiffly, I went to the bathroom and threw some cold water on my face. I took a deep breathe and wondered if I would ever sleep again.

The next day I arrived at school, feeling like I was moving though a hazy fog. I was tired, I knew I needed to sleep, but I didn't know how to fight the nightmares. They haunted me, painful reminders of what I had left behind.

"Edward." Bella was there. I pulled her to me, again breathing in her intoxicating scent of strawberries and freesia. I rested my cheek on the top of her head and closed my eyes. I felt her hands rubbing circles into my back. She pulled away and took my face in her hands. "Did you sleep at all?"

"A little," I said, too tired to try and lie. "Not enough."

"Yeah." Her fingers rubbed the purple smudges under eye, as if her touch could make them go away. "I can see." Her voice was gentle, concerned.

"I'm okay, though." I smiled at her, then leaned in for a kiss. This kiss was slow, tender and heartwrenchingly sweet.

Our day continued as almost a mirror to the previous day. The only change coming in Biology. Since we hadn't finished the movie, Mr. Banner wheeled in the TV again. This time, I took Bella's hand on my leg and began lightly running my finger over her palm. I watched her face carefully, enjoying the way her lips parted in surprise. Then her teeth gently bit down on her soft lips and her eyes dilated. I traced the yielding flesh of her palm throughout the whole movie, enjoying the feel of her soft skin beneath mine immensely.

When Biology was over, I walked her to gym again, still holding her hand. And like the day before, I brought our linked hands to her face and ran my knuckle along her jaw line. She reached up on her tiptoes and kissed me. "See you after gym."

I smiled at her. "I look forward to it."

After school, I was disappointed to learn that Alice had play practice and Rosalie had dance team. The group dispersed and I had to say goodbye to Bella early. Once again, as I left the comfort of her presence, I had to fight off the feelings of sadness. I was becoming a little bit pathetic with my dependency with her.

When we arrived home, Emmett and I went into the family room. He went straight to the remote and turned on the TV.

"Yes!" he shouted after a minute.

"What?" I asked.

"Mariners game is on right now."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Come on Em," I said. "The Mariners are just about as bad as the Cubs."

"Hey now! You live in Washington now. You are a Mariner's fan by default." He pushed my shoulder playfully.

I fell against the armrest and smiled. "Can't be much worse than being a Cubs fan."

Emmett snorted. "Bro, I hate to tell you but nothing is worse than being a Cubs fan. They have the worst luck in the world."

"True." I smiled thinking of all the missed chances the Cubs had over the years. Emmett and I settled in to watch the Mariners play baseball. Emmett was fun to watch a game with, he was very vocal, letting the TV know exactly what he liked and what he didn't. I smiled as I watched him cheer as Adrian Beltre smacked a homerun, giving the Mariners the lead. Emmett reached over, his hand in the air and I returned the high five. "There you go bro. You just needed to root for a real team," he said, pumping his fist in excitement.

When Carlisle got home, the game was still on and he joined us in the family room. He was about as passionate for the team as Emmett and he was nearly as loud. I found myself commenting to the TV along with them, maybe without as much enthusiasm, but with plenty of knowledge. Another homerun flew out of the park and Emmett and Carlisle celebrated. I smiled as I slapped them each five. Emmett and Carlisle. Father and son. It made me long for something I had no right to think about.

A/N: Don't forget to review! It completely makes my day!