Disclaimer: Twilight and characters still don't belong to me.

Hey guys, I am so sorry that it took me so long to post this. Report cards are due tomorrow morning, so I spent all last week working on those when I normally would be writing. Then my "other" little brother came to town for the weekend and we were out. But I hope you all enjoy this chapter :o)


Chapter 11

"I can't believe the M's blew a three run lead," Emmett grumbled as he watched the opposing team high five each other after the game ended. "Figures."

"Come on now, son. Be positive." Carlisle clasped a hand on Emmett's shoulder. Emmett raised an eyebrow at his father, clearly asking what he could possibly be positive about. "It was an exciting game, the end just wasn't so good." Carlisle smiled.

Emmett laughed, "Okay, fine."

"Hey boys," Esme appeared in the room. "Dinner's ready."

"Food!" Emmett cheered and he jumped out off his seat and raced towards the kitchen. "Tacos! Yes Mom, you rock!"

I rose more slowly, swaying slightly on my feet. I moved sluggishly around the couch trying to shake the fatigue. I stumbled and held my hand out for something to grab onto. I watched, in slow motion as my hand reached for the table against the back of the couch. I watched as it slowly moved through the air. I watched, in horror, as my hand swiped against Esme's precious vase. The shattering of glass blasted through the house like a gun shot. Panic welled within me and I fell to my knees, desperate to make it right. I grabbed the shards of vase, my hands shaking violently. Somewhere in the background, I heard a strange sound, almost like someone being choked.

And then I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I dropped the broken pieces of porcelain and threw my hands over my head, protecting myself from the blows that were coming. The sounds of someone being choked grew louder. I pulled my knees up, protecting my stomach and waited. Why wouldn't he just hit me already? The waiting was the worst part. My hands fisted in my hair as I tensed, ready for the pounding, biting pain as his fists or belt found me.

"Edward." I was shaking uncontrollably when I became aware of my name being repeated over and over again. I realized then that choking sound was me, gasping for air. The shaking was coming from the hands gripping my shoulders. "Edward, look at me."

I opened my eyes and saw Carlisle kneeling in front of me, Esme kneeling behind him. In a rush, I remembered where I was. Not in Chicago. In Forks. With the Cullens. He wasn't here. He wasn't going to beat me to a bloody mess.

But before I could relax, a new horror was upon me. Esme's vase. Her precious, expensive vase that she had wanted for so long was broken. I had broken it. The choking sounds rose again and I back away from them, ignoring the shards as I scooted away. "I'm sorry," I gasped. "Oh God I'm so sorry." It wasn't good enough. It didn't matter how sorry I was, it wouldn't put the vase back together again.

"Edward." Carlisle was slowing moving towards me. "It doesn't matter, please, it's okay."

My back hit the wall and I had no where to go. No where to escape. "I'm sorry," I pleaded again. "I tripped and I tried to catch myself and I wanted to grab the edge of the table, but the vase was there and my hand hit it and I know it was priceless, but I'm clumsy and stupid but I promise you I didn't mean to and I'll pay you back, somehow, I promise." I stopped to catch my breath, and then looked at these two people that had completely changed my life. My chest hitched as I waited for my punishment.

"Edward." Esme was in front of me now, Carlisle a bit to the right. "Honey, I know you didn't mean to break the vase. It was an accident, accidents happen. If I was that paranoid about something getting broken, I would lock them up in glass cabinets. Yes, I liked that vase." I flinched and took a breath, ready to start apologizing again. But she continued before I could start. "But I'll find another that I like just as much, if not more." She reached out to touch my cheek. I felt myself flinch away from her hand, but she kept coming. "I will never hurt you," she whispered fiercely when her hand rested gently on my cheek. "Never."

"Neither will I," Carlisle spoke now, his voice just as fierce. "No one will, ever again."

For a minute, I just sat staring at them. My chest heaved as I fought to breathe. Emotions tumbled through me, confusing me.

Carlisle moved closer to me, reaching for my hand. "May I look at your hand?" he asked softly.

Confused, I nodded and then watched his hands gently take one of mine. I was shocked to see the blood flowing and as he turned it over, I saw the huge gash in my palm. Awareness swept through me as my hand began to burn. "We'll go to my office," Carlisle decided. "Alice! Bring me a towel, please."

Alice entered the room and handed a towel to him. I saw the pity in her eyes when she looked at me. I looked away, hating it.

I followed Carlisle and Esme upstairs and into his office. There, he pulled out his black bag and began pulling out the needed supplies. When he took out the needle, I gulped. I sat down and he began to clean the gash in my hand. Esme sat next to me and held my other hand.

"I want you to talk to us," Esme said gently.

I looked down. Of course they needed me to talk. At that moment they regretted bringing me into their house. I didn't need to be a mind reader to know that. "What do you want to know?"

"We only know a little about what happened to you, before you ended up in the hospital," Carlisle explained as he worked on my hand. "We know that you were beat before and that's why you were in the hospital. But from what I saw today, I'm guessing that it was not an isolated occurrence."

"No," I whispered. "It happened a lot. Didn't really matter if I did something or not. Or if he was drunk or not. Seems he always had a reason to beat on me." I stared at my knee while I spoke. Now maybe they would understand that there was a monster inside of me.

"Who?" Esme asked gently. "We know your mother's husband killed her. Did your father do this to you?"

"No." I tried not to be offended that they would suspect my father. "My father was a wonderful man. But, he died when I was six." I felt my hand go numb and wished my brain could do the same. "Mom remarried when I was nine. He's the one that hit me."

"And this man, your stepfather, abused you often." Carlisle reiterated.

I nodded.

"Where was your mother?"

"In her room," I whispered. I heard Esme's gasp. I looked at her. "It wasn't her fault. She changed when my dad died. She…she stopped caring as much. I promised my dad right before he died that I would protect my mom. I tried. I tried so hard." I looked into Esme's blue eyes, begging her to believe me.

"I have no doubt," she answered my plea.

"There," Carlisle said. "All done."

I looked at my hand and saw the gash had been neatly sewn up. Carlisle reached for a bandage and began wrapping it around my hand.

"I don't deserve this," I said, the words flying from my mouth before I realized what I meant to say.

"Of course you do," Esme reassured me.

"No." I shook my head. "I don't. I really don't. You are wonderful people. You have an amazing family. But I don't deserve this." My voice was defeated. "You need to send me back to Chicago."

"Edward," Carlisle huffed. "We've already discussed this. We aren't sending you back, no matter what you do."

"And definitely not over something as silly as a broken vase."

"You don't understand!" I cried. "I'm a horrible person! I—,"

"Enough. Enough of that. You are NOT a horrible person. And by the way you are not clumsy or stupid." Esme was as close to shouting as I had ever heard her. "You are a part of our family now. We wouldn't ever send you back to Chicago. You belong here. With us."

"Darling." Carlisle stood and laid a hand on her back. "If Edward wants to go back to Chicago, we can't stop him." He turned to me. "Is that what you want? Are you unhappy here?"

My mouth dropped. Unhappy here? How could I possibly be unhappy here? "No," I answered quietly. "I don't want to go back to Chicago. But--,"

"No buts. We aren't discussing this anymore. Esme and I chose to bring you into our family. We don't regret that decision at all. Edward, look at me."

I brought my eyes back up to his face.

"You have something in you that is so rare. We saw it in the hospital and we've seen it since you've moved with us. We want you here. I promise you that."

My shoulders slumped, defeated. "I want to be here too," I sighed.

"Then it's settled." Esme stood, clapping her hands together. "Let's go eat before my dinner gets too cold."

Carlisle led the way out of his office, but I pulled Esme back. "I truly am sorry about your vase," I said as sincerely as I could.

"I know, sweet boy." She touched my cheek again and I forced myself not to duck away. "And now it's done." She waved her hand, as if sending it far off into the oblivion. "We will not discuss it anymore. It's over. Forget about it."

When we got downstairs, I saw that someone (probably Alice) had already cleaned up the broken vase. I didn't know how, but I knew that someday I would replace that vase. Dinner was a quiet affair. I knew both Alice and Emmett weren't quite sure how to deal with the earlier scene. They tried, but for the most part, we ate in silence. After dinner, I helped Alice and Emmett do the dishes and then made my way upstairs to work on homework. As I walked past Carlisle's office, Esme's voice stopped me as it drifted through the office door.

"I'm so worried about him, Carlisle."

"I know my dear, I am as well." There was the brushing sound of cloth sliding over leather and I could imagine Carlisle sitting down next to Esme.

"He looked so broken, so terrified when he thought you were going to hit him. I can't bear the thought of someone hurting that boy. And for his mother to allow it to go on for so long! It's unforgivable!"

Carlisle must have said something, but I couldn't hear his muted words.

"He does," Esme agreed. Her voice was getting softer. "He is so pure, so intrinsically good, it practically radiates off of him."

I closed my eyes at her words and moved away from the door. I had heard enough. I wondered how long it would take for them to realize just how wrong they were.

The rest of the week dragged on slowly. The nightmares continued to haunt my nights. My days moved along in a blur. Bella was the one bright spot. I looked forward to school because I got to see her, hold her and talk to her. I felt like I was drowning and she was my lifeline.

"Hey, do you want to go for a walk before we head to your house?" Bella asked. It was Friday afternoon. Bella had offered to drive me home, since she was heading that way anyway. I jumped at the chance to spend some extra time with her.

"Yeah, I'd love to." I smiled and took her hand. We left the parking lot and headed for woods.

"Are you excited about the sleep over tonight?"

I shrugged. "I'm excited because I get to see you."

"So sweet," Bella smiled and swung our hands between us. "Me too. It should be fun though. Alice tends to go a bit over board."

"Yeah, she was planning with Esme this morning. I had to get out before I had an anxiety attack from just watching her run around."

Bella laughed. Then she sobered. "Edward?"

"Yeah?" I asked, slightly mystified by the new serious edge to her voice.

"Are you okay?"

I frowned. "Sure. Why do you ask?"

She pulled on my hand, forcing me to stop walking and look at her. "I'm really worried about you."

"You don't need to worry about me, I'm fine."

"I don't think you are," she said softly. "You're exhausted, I can see it, not just by the dark smudges under your eyes."

"Bella…"

She walked over to a log and sat down, dragging me with her. I sat next to her and she put her hands on my cheeks. "Why can't you sleep?"

"I don't know." I shifted my gaze, unable to look her in the eyes.

She waited patiently, stroking my cheeks.

"I have nightmares, okay?" I yanked my face out of her hands and ran my fingers through my hair. "Every night. Every time I close my eyes."

"What are they about?"

My knee began to bounce as I tensed. "Everything," I muttered.

"Maybe if you talk about it, it would help."

I snorted and look up at the trees. I could just barely see the gray sky through their branches. "My dad died in my dream last night. Again. Third time this week. This time I got to see him thrown out of the car. That was a change. Usually I just see him lying on the ground. But not this time. He flew through the windshield. Then he made me promise to protect my mom. Again." I spoke harsher than I meant to but like she had pointed out, I was exhausted.

I felt her soft fingers lace through mine. My knee continued to bounce and I didn't look away from the branches over my head. "Didn't really help, huh?" she asked tenderly.

A small laugh escaped and I looked at her. "No, not really." I smiled at her though, knowing she just wanted to help me. I leaned over and kissed her gently. "But thank you for caring enough to try."

She hooked her free hand around my neck, preventing me from pulling away. She touched my lips again and the kiss deepened. I groaned softly and released her hand. I pulled her to me, moving my lips against hers the whole time. I kept pulling her until she sat on my lap. Her arms wound around my neck as she pressed against my chest. I tangled my fingers into her hair and dove deeper into her mouth. "Edward," she breathed. "Of course I care." She shook her head. "Silly boy, I care and I will never stop trying."

I looked at her, staring into her beautiful, amazing eyes. "I care too," I whispered. "I shouldn't, but I do. Bella, you are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever." I cradled her face and kissed her closed eyes, her cheeks and finally her lips as gently as I could.

"Know what I think?"

I shook my head. I could never guess what Bella was thinking.

"I think that tonight, you just need to relax and have a good time. Just enjoy the party and don't think about anything else."

I smiled. "I can try."

"Don't try. Just let it all go and have fun. You are entitled, Edward. One night. Give yourself one night off."

"Okay." She made it sound so easy.

"Promise?"

I laughed again. "Yeah, I promise."

My promise actually proved easier to keep that I had anticipated. When we got back to the house, the gang was all there. First on Alice's agenda was a nail painting gossip session.

"Really Alice?" Bella whined. "You just did my nails like three weeks ago!"

"Honestly Bella, let me see your toes."

I watched, amused, as Bella tore off her socks and wiggled her toes for Alice's approval.

"Ugh!" Alice cried. "Chipped paint, ragged edges! Girl, you are in desperate need of a pedicure."

Bella rolled her eyes. "What are the boys going to do? Are you going to paint their nails as well?"

Before I could panic, Emmett chimed in. "Hell no! We are going to go play some football. Come on men!"

"Sorry," I mouthed to Bella as I followed the other two out of the room.

"Just don't you dare paint them pink! Do you understand me Alice Cullen!"

I laughed as I left the room.

"Edward!" Emmett stood in the back yard, football in hand. "We are going to run some plays. I'm quarterback. You be the running back and Jasper is going to play defense."

"Not cool," Jasper grumbled. "He's like ten times faster than me."

Emmett grinned. "Exactly. You have to cross the imaginary line between the deck and Mom's flowers for a touchdown. Edward, come here."

I ran over to Emmett and listened as he explained the play. Then I lined up next to him and waited for him to call it out. "Ready, set, hike!"

I took off, dodging Jasper and spinning to the left. I looked back and saw Emmett fire the ball at me. I caught it easily with my uninjured right hand. Then I crossed over the imaginary line.

"Touch down!" Emmett called, raising his hands in the air.

I spiked the ball and raised my hands as well.

"I didn't have a chance," Jasper laughed, holding his knees. "You are fast, man!"

"Thanks!" I high fived Emmett.

"I think we should switch positions," Jasper said. "I'll be running back, Emmett you play defense and Edward is quarterback."

Emmett smirked. "Sounds good to me."

Jasper jogged over to me and we worked out our play. Then we took our positions. "Ready, set, hike!"

Jasper faked to the right and then took off. Emmett was fooled and before he could get his feet under him, I threw the ball in a perfect spiral to Jasper's waiting hands. "Touch down!" I cried.

"Yes!" Jasper pumped his fist in the air.

"Again," Emmett growled. Jasper and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.

We reset and I called it out again. Jasper took off, but this time, Emmett kept up with him. He tried to get around the bigger boy and as soon as he was free, the ball left my hands. As the ball hit Jasper's fingertips, Emmett came up behind him. They fell to the ground and rolled. I could hear their laughter and I smiled. Emmett jumped up, a huge smile on his face. "Took you down, Hale!"

Jasper pulled himself up. "Oh it's on, Cullen. Come on Edward!"

The game continued. We scored sometimes, sometimes Emmett took one of us down. When the girls came to get us, I was dirty, grass-stained, red-faced, sweaty and out of breath. I was also smiling.

Bella saw me and I saw the hope blossom in her eyes. She ran to me and threw her arms around my neck. "Hey you," she said happily.

"Hey yourself. Do you have pink toes?"

She shook her head, her eyes dancing happily. I followed her gaze to her toes and saw them painted a dark red. "Nice."

"Thanks. Having fun?"

"Yeah. I am." I smiled at her and it felt good. I felt lighter than I had in a long, long time.

"Okay boys," Alice said, standing of the deck. "Just so you know, the pizza is here."

Magic words. Jasper and Emmett looked at each other. "Food!" They shouted in unison and then they started for the kitchen.

Alice walked followed them, shaking her head and snickering. "Come on you two," she shouted over her shoulder.

Still wearing what I'm sure was a goofy looking smile, I walked with Bella back into the house. I could smell the pizza and my stomach grumbled in response. Bella laughed at me. "A little hungry there, football star?"

My stomach growled again, answering her question. We entered the kitchen and I saw five large pizzas spread out on the counter. "Wow. That's a lot of pizza," I commented.

"Not really," Bella nodded towards Emmett's overflowing plate.

I helped myself to the pizza. I watched the girls daintily place salad on their own plates along with some pizza.

"Don't know why you want to eat that rabbit food when there's pizza in the building," Emmett said, his mouth full, as we sat down at the table.

Rosalie shoved at him. "Honestly Emmett, didn't your mother teach you any table manners?"

"Sure, no pushing at the table." He grinned at her, then landed a greasy kiss on her cheek.

"Ew." Rosalie brushed at her cheek. "Honestly," she muttered again.

"So Alice," Bella said. "How is the play going?" Her hand found mine under the table and we held hands while we ate.

It was the right question to ask. Alice's eyes lit up. "Amazing! I love it. I mean, we've only had a couple of weeks, but it's already coming together so perfectly! I can not wait until December!"

I ate my pizza and listened to the others talk. It astounded me how well they got along and how well they knew each other. After dissecting Alice's role in the play, they had discussed everything from Emmett's scholarship to the 1977 Porshe 911 that Rosalie was rebuilding. They talked about how unfair it was that Chief Swan refused to raise Bella's curfew to 11:00pm on weekends and that the Hale's parents wouldn't let the twins leave the state of Washington for college. This group held nothing back from each other, there were so secrets, nothing they were ashamed to talk about. I had never had that kind of openness with other people. I had too many secrets. I tried to imagine telling Kevin Adams, my "best" friend in Chicago, about my home life. Not a chance.

"Hey Bella, I think it's time for your brownies," Emmett said.

The rest of the group groaned. "Emmett, come on man. I just ate a whole pizza by myself!" Jasper held his stomach. "You really have room for brownies right now? Let's wait and eat them later, when we can actually enjoy them!"

"Okay, okay. Fine. I guess I can wait."

Rosalie punched him in the arm. "Sheesh woman. You are violent this evening." Then he smirked at her. "I kinda like it."

"Oh dear Lord," Bella said. "Please."

"I say it's time to get ready for bed, get our sleep bags spread out and then we can watch movies," Alice decided.

With those words, the group dispersed. I ran up to my room and threw on a pair of gray sweats and a white T-shirt. I thought about the need for sleeping bags and suddenly it hit me. Sleep over. We were going to sleep. Downstairs, in a room all together. I cringed at the thought of having a nightmare with everyone in the same room. What if I woke up screaming and crying? I sank down on my bed, my elbows on my knees and held my head. That would be bad. Very, very bad. I figured I had two possible solutions. I could wait for everyone to fall asleep and then sneak up here. Then at least no one would hear my screams. Once the nightmare hit, I could go back downstairs. It's not like I could ever go back to sleep once it was over. The other option was to not sleep. Then I could stay downstairs the whole night. Despite the sheer exhaustion I felt, I liked the idea of not dreaming. A lot. Decision made, and feeling much better about the "sleep" over, I headed downstairs, eager to be with Bella again.

A/N Just real quick, reviews are absolutely divine. :o)