Chapter 13

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I woke up the next morning in a hospital bed with a headache. Groaning, I turned my body, which was stiff and sore, and sat up to survey the damage. My right ankle was heavy with a stark white cast, and my killer shoes were on the floor near the door. I was surprised to find that I was still wearing my dress. I could vaguely remember Edward driving me to the hospital, and after that, there were foggy memories of a wheelchair and an x-ray machine. In my left arm, there was an IV, which stung uncomfortably. It was nothing, though, compared to the throbbing pain in my head.

There were two swift knocks on the door of my room. I pulled the thin hospital blanket over my legs and wiped quickly at my face, sure that the makeup Kelsey had put on my last night was now a mess. "Um, come in," I said, hesitantly. I hated not knowing what had happened. It would be embarrassing if the doctor who'd been working on me all night had to be introduced to me now.

I was relieved to see Edward peek his head inside. He smiled. "Oh, good. You're awake."

"I'm awake," I said. My voice was scratchy and harsh, like it was after a night of screaming at a concert. "What happened?"

He sat down in a chair by the door. He was still in his clothes from the night before. "Well, you fractured your ankle."

I groaned. "Is it really bad?"

"Not terrible," he assured me. "I'm sure you've had worse, but you'll need to keep that on for the next six weeks or so. But you're lucky; you didn't need surgery."

"Lucky," I pondered bitterly.

"The doctor will tell you all this, of course, and," he smirked, "I'm afraid you're going to have to take a seminar in alcohol abuse."

"What?" I cried.

He chuckled. "It's standard for anyone who comes in with an injury caused by intoxication."

"But it wasn't caused by intoxication. It was caused by those ridiculous torture tools that others call shoes!" I demanded, pointing to the culprits then turning to Edward. "I could have done this entirely sober. You know that."

He nodded. "Probably. But you didn't do it sober, and they're being very kind about the situation all ready, Bella. They've agreed not to tell the authorities about you drinking underage if you agree to attend the class. I told them it wouldn't be a problem."

"Oh, God," I groaned. "Charlie's going to kill me."

Edward smiled. "No one's going to tell Charlie. You're over eighteen. It's your decision whether or not you want him to know."

"Really?" I asked.

"Really," he said. "You're an adult, Bella."

"Huh," I half smiled, "Yeah. Doesn't really feel that way, I guess."

He stood slowly and came closer to the bed. "No?"

"No," I said quietly. "I feel very, very young right now."

There was another knock on the door. Edward leaned in to me. "Doctor Halburn. He's been on your case since we came in. He's been here all night, so he's going home now."

I nodded and called, "Come in."

The doctor was a middle-aged man with grey eyes and very thin brown hair. He looked exhausted. "Good morning, Miss Swan. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Oh, you know," I blushed, "I've been better."

"Hmm," he said, giving me a half-hearted smile. "Well, I'm going to be heading home now, so Doctor Jare will be taking care of all your discharge papers and such. Are you in any pain?"

"Uh," I shrugged, "I mean, I'm okay."

"Okay…" he said, confused. As if it was some alien language. "Well, I'm gonna go ahead and prescribe you some Celebrex, all right? It's a painkiller. You can take it if your ankle starts to hurt, and you know you're coming back in two weeks, right?"

"Uh, two weeks, sure," I said. "Thank you."

"Yep," he said. "No problem." He turned to Edward. "Are you driving her home?"

"Yes," Edward said. "Thank you, Doctor. Have a great day."

"All right," Doctor Halburn said, moving towards the door. "You two be careful."

Once he left, Edward looked over at me. "He has a teenage daughter at home. I'm afraid you've made her day significantly more difficult."

"Fantastic," I sighed. "I've always wanted to be a cautionary tale."

Edward chuckled lightly. "It's not so bad. Like you said, you could have broken a bone without the alcohol, and this is a true college experience."

I shook my head. "Yeah, now all I need is a toga and an appearance on Girls Gone Wild to round things out."

A few moments later, Doctor Jare came in and explained my fracture, the mandatory alcohol addiction class, and the dos and don'ts of wearing a cast—something I had heard many times before. She also gave me my painkillers and paperwork to fill out. Once I was done, Edward helped me into a wheelchair and then he supported my weight as I hobbled on one high-heeled shoe once we were outside. With me in one arm and the crutches the hospital had supplied in the other, he led me to his car.

I remembered the Volvo more from high school than from the previous night. He drove slower than normal for him, almost at the speed limit. "Did you call Kelsey or Rachael?" I asked nervously.

"Yes, I spoke to Rachael. She seemed rather concerned."

I sighed, "Great."

"She really doesn't like me much, does she?" he asked, staring at the road.

"It's not you," I assured him. "It's the idea of you. The—the other man."

"Hmm," he said thoughtfully.

"I," I shook my head, "I said some things last night, didn't I?"

"It's all right, Bella," he said. "I'm not taking any of that too seriously. I understand—"

"No," I told him. "You should take it seriously. I didn't say anything I didn't mean."

He was silent for a long moment. "Really?"

"Yes," I admitted. "Edward, I do…I do love you."

He smiled and looked over at me. "And I love you."

I half smiled at him then swallowed hard. "But…"

He frowned. "But."

"But I love Jacob, too," I said. "And…and he needs me, and I need him."

He was silent, looking forward at the road.

Tears caught in my throat. "And, I mean, you're going to live forever, Edward. You'll—you know—with enough time, you'll forget—"

"Bella," he said sharply. "Please, don't patronize me."

"Okay," I said meekly. "I, um, I think it would be best if you…if we didn't see each other…ever again."

"I see," he said.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"No," he insisted. "You have nothing to apologize for, Bella. You only did what I asked you to do. I'm all right. I'll be all right. I just want you to be happy; that's all. So, if you're happy…" he looked over at me as tears pooled in my eyes.

"I'm happy," I whimpered, wiping under my eyes.

"That's all I need to know," he said sternly. "I'll drop you off, and you'll never hear from me again."

"Oh," I was surprised by the onset of tears at the notion of never seeing him again. He sighed, keeping his gaze forward. "I'm so, so sorry," I blubbered as a flood of tears ran down my face.

"Please, Bella," he crooned. "Don't cry. It's all right. I'll be all right."

My hand caressed the sleek black vinyl of the passenger seat. I closed my eyes, trying to retain the feeling of it—trying to make the moment last longer. It felt too surreal to be saying goodbye to Edward Cullen again—and by my own hand. My chest ached like someone was squeezing it in a fist. When I felt the car come to a stop, my throat tightened.

Edward opened my door and held a hand out to me. He held my crutches under his arm. I was afraid to look up at his face.

He sighed when I was standing in front of him. "Well, all right. Do you need help getting upstairs?"

"Edward," I sighed.

"You have your pills?" he asked. "Don't hesitate to take them, okay? You don't need to suffer any pain. Don't suffer needlessly, all right, Bella?"

"Oh, God," I cried and threw my arms around him. With his free hand, he pulled me tight against him. I sobbed into his shoulder, "Why are you making this so easy?"

He kissed my forehead. "You've made your decision, Bella. I'd expect you'd like for that decision to be respected." I gripped a handful of his hair in my palm and cried against him. He petted my head calmly. "Shh, shh, Bella."

"I really do love you," I said. "I'm just so sorry."

"As am I," he said and began to pull away.

I gripped onto him tighter, holding him close to me. "I don't—" I whispered, "I don't know that I could go forever…without you."

He leaned down, bringing his face close to mine. "I'll never be far," he promised. "But if you don't want to see me, you won't." He pulled me close for a second, and I sobbed again before he let go of me entirely and placed my crutches between us.

I took a few shallow breaths and grabbed onto the crutches with one hand. Edward handed me my purse in my free hand, and our fingers lingered for a few seconds. The ice cold of his skin hardly registered with me. My mind was swimming with the fear of never seeing him again.

He smiled sadly down at me. "Goodbye, Bella."

I shook my head, letting the tears stream down my face. "I love you," I whispered. "I'm sorry."

Edward brought a finger up to wipe under my eyes before leaning down to kiss my forehead. "Close your eyes," he whispered.

My instincts fought against me as I let my heavy eyelids close. I held them tightly down when I heard the Volvo's engine start, and only opened them again when the car was completely out of sight.

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