Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight or the characters.


Chapter 14

I sat at the kitchen table working on my homework. Even though it was Saturday, I took advantage of the peace to get some work done. From where I sat, I could see my mom sitting on the couch. She looked so small and fragile, with her legs tucked underneath her as she read a book. He sat next to her, a beer in his hand, despite the early hour.

"What was that!" he yelled. "Come on ref, open your eyes! That was a touchdown!"

I relaxed my grip on my pencil when I realized he was upset about something the Bears had done, and not me. I took a steadying breath and went back to my math. "Find the area and perimeter of this rectangle." I nearly rolled my eyes. Sixth grade math was so insanely easy.

"Edward!"

I jumped at the sound of my name, dropping my pencil on the brown carpet. I leapt out of my seat and hurried into the family room. "Yes, sir?" I only called him sir because he demanded it. Certainly not because he had earned it.

He waggled his beer can. "I'm on empty."

I nodded and immediately turned back towards the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator door and felt my stomach drop to my knees. I leaned my forehead against the freezer door and shut my eyes.

"Edward! Beer! Now!" he barked from the other room.

I steeled myself as I turned and walked back to the family room. I gave a fleeting glance out the window and saw the sun shining. I wish I had a normal life. I looked at my mom. She was still curled up on the couch, her eyes glassy and disconnected. Slowly, I turned my eyes to him and swallowed thickly. "Sir, there is no more beer."

He looked at me and tilted his head. "What?"

I swallowed and tried to push down the fear that was threatening to strangle me. "The beer is gone."

"I heard you the first time, damn it! Elizabeth," he said, turning towards my mother. I took a step forward, to place myself between them, but he held up his hand. "You need to go to the store and get me more beer."

She blinked and looked at him. "Now?"

"Of course now!"

I watched her unfold her legs and stand up. "Mom, do you want me to go with you?" I asked, fighting as hard as I could to keep the panic out of my voice.

"Oh no, honey," she smiled at me. "I know you are working on your homework."

"Yeah," I managed. I looked at him and he was grinning at me.

I stood silently as she went to get her purse. I heard the garage door go up, the roar of the engine, then the sound of the door closing. For several minutes the silence rang in my ears.

"Did you know how much I hated it when you would interfere?" I turned my eyes to him and stayed silent. "Who were you, some snot-nosed ten year old to tell me what I could and couldn't do?" He flashed a leering smile at me. "But I am starting to realize the advantages."

My teeth clenched together, but I made no sound. He shrugged and stood. "Take off your shirt, I'll be right back." He said as he walked out of the room.

I wished my hands didn't shake as I grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it off. I wished my heart would slow down and that my knees weren't trembling as I waited for him to return with his weapon. After two years, you'd think I'd be used to this by now. But I hated it when he was calm like this. When he was drunk, or spurred by rage, the punishments were vicious, but fast. When he was calm, they were more drawn out tearing at my mind as well as my body.

He came out holding the chain in his hand and I bit back a groan. "I want to hear you count the numbers, understand?"

"Yes sir." I turned to face the wall and rested my hands on it to keep from falling over.

I heard the chains rattle and then land with a resounding clang and a stinging bite. Tears instantly flooded my eyes and I fought them back. "One," I said in as strong a voice as I could muster.

Area of a triangle "Two" equals one half base times "Three" height. Area of "Four" a rectangle "Five" equals length "Six" times width "Seven." I recited the formulas in my head, a desperate attempt to keep my mind off the pain that raged over my back. I would not cry. I would not show him how much it hurt.

Area of a trapezoid "Fifteen" equals half "Sixteen" the quantity of "Seventeen" top base plus "Eighteen" bottom base times "Nineteen" height "Twenty."

Stop! Enough! Please! I want to scream out the words and beg him to stop. I squeezed my eyes shut and my hands turned to fists against the wall. "Twenty-five." It was getting harder to keep the pain out of my voice. I tried to find more formulas to take the pain away. Area of a parallelogram "Twenty-eight" equals base "Twenty-nine" times height "Thirty."

And then it stopped. I braced myself for another clanking lash. But none came. Instead, I felt a hand on my shoulder and then I was facing him.

"So I was talking to your mom the other day. She told me about your father."

I cringed. This man didn't deserve to even think my father's name. I glared at him through pools of tears.

"Sounds like he was a great man."

I clenched my teeth hard, refusing to respond.

"See what I mean about this being so much better? Since you stepped in, I mean. Now, I get to beat the great Edward Masen's son, anytime I want. And there's nothing you can do about it, is there?"

I continued to glare up at him. He didn't like that and smacked me hard across the face. "Is there?" he hissed again.

"No," I said through my clenched jaw. I saw his hand rise again. "Sir," I added and the hand dropped.

Now he smiled at me. "You better not forget that boy. And you better never leave her alone. You never know what will happen if you do."

I shot straight up in bed, my chest heaving. I grabbed my pillow and pressed it to my face. "No, no, no," I cried into the fluff. My knees came up, helping to push the pillow even farther into my face. "I'm sorry," I cried. "I'm so sorry. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

I had been confident, almost cocky before going to bed that the nightmares would leave me alone tonight. After the day I had with Bella I had felt so hopeful, so fearless that I had gone to bed thinking I would sleep through the night. Stupid, so stupid.

My whole body shuddered with the force of my sobs. I didn't mean for it to happen. I tried to protect her, I didn't want her to die. I just wanted her to be safe. And…and I wanted to be happy too. Was that really so much to ask? I put the pillow down, and just rested my cheek on my updrawn knees. Bella's words from the morning came back to me.

She knew, right? She knew the rules?

She did know. She knew what would happen when she left that day to get beer for him, she had too. And she had to have seen the bruise on my face, the huge welts on my back and arms. She knew the consequences of his rage just as well as I did. I protected her with everything I had, for seven very long years. Why didn't she ever protect me?

My eyes slid shut. "Edward," I whispered to my self. "This is wrong. You promised Dad you'd protect her. She never asked you to take the beatings for her."

I nodded to myself. I was being selfish, trying to ease the guilt I felt for her death. Nothing would change the fact that I had killed her. She lost everything when my father died and all I could give her was protection.

I slide the covers off me and stood. It was only one in the morning, but I knew I would get no more sleep that night. I went to the bathroom and threw some cold water on my face, washing away the streaks tears had left on my cheeks. Then I went to my keyboard and put the ear phones in place. I spent the rest of the night letting out my anger, sorrow and pain through the music.

When dawn finally broke, I took off the head phones and went back to the bathroom to shower. The hot water felt good on my sore muscles, stiff from have sat at the instrument for so long. After a while, I left the heat of the shower. I got dressed quickly, pulling another of Alice's "outfits" from my closet. Today I wore dark jeans, a gray t-shirt and a dark blue hoodie. I pulled the zipper up on the sweatshirt and then headed downstairs.

Carlisle sat in the kitchen, drinking his normal cup of coffee as he scanned the paper. "Morning, Edward," he said as I walked in.

"Morning," I said quietly. I debated getting a bowl of cereal, but my stomach twisted at the thought. Instead, I went to the table and sat down next to Carlisle.

I saw his eyes flicker to me as I sat.

"Edward," he sighed.

"Yes," I said before he could ask me if I slept last night. "A little."

"What is it, keeping you from sleep?" he asked gently.

I stared at the table and shifted awkwardly. "Dunno," I lied, feeling horrible about it. "Lots on my mind, I guess." That, in a way was the truth. I had a lot on my mind and it manifested itself in my nightmares.

"Do you want to talk about what's on your mind?" Carlisle took another sip of coffee, but never took his eyes off me.

I started to shake my head, but then I remembered the way he had looked at me the day I had broken the vase. I remembered the look on his face when he approached me as I cowered, thinking he was going to hit me. This man was kind and gentle. It was wrong to lie to him. But I couldn't tell him the whole truth either.

"I think about my mom," I whispered. "And what he did us. A-and how everything has changed."

Carlisle nodded. "I can understand why this would all be overwhelming, especially with all that has happened. But you mustn't blame yourself. Nothing that happened was your fault."

I almost snorted at those words, they were so far from the truth. Everything was my fault.

"It's okay to be happy," Carlisle continued. "You do deserve this, I know it's hard to believe right now, but you do. I promise you that."

I nodded, even though none of it was true.

"I need to get going, I am working today," he said after a few minutes of silence. "But if you need to talk more, I can stay."

"I'm okay," I said. There was no reason for Carlisle to be late for work because of me.

I felt him studying me and I looked up. "If you do need to talk," he continued, softly now, "Esme will be home."

"I'm okay," I repeated.

Carlisle nodded and stood. He put his coffee mug in the sink and picked up his briefcase from the counter. "I will see you tonight."

"Yeah," I tried to smile at him and succeeded. Sort of.

"Eat breakfast," Carlisle said as he walked out.

My half smile grew a bit as he left. Always telling me what to do. Just like my father had. I stood up and walked over to the cabinet holding all the cereal. I remembered Bella's reaction to the boxes of cereal and then the glorious omelet she had made. My stomach grumbled at the thought of the gooey cheese and egg. I reached up and grabbed the box of Raisin Bran. My stomach grumbled again. "I know," I whispered. "I would rather have Bella's omelet too."

"Who are you talking to?"

I jumped ten feet in the air and spun around to see Alice dancing into the room.

"No one," I said my face turning as red as Bella's. No way I was admitting that I had been talking to my stomach.

"Hm," Alice said, looking at me. "Are you going to hang out with Bella again today?"

"I hope so," I said without thinking.

Alice looked delighted. "Oh good! I am so happy for you two."

"You've mentioned that," I muttered. I poured the Raisin Bran in a bowl. "You want some?" I asked Alice, not wanting to be rude.

"Sure." She made her way to the table and sat down.

I grabbed a second bowl and poured more cereal in to it. I added milk to both bowls, took two spoons from the drawer and then joined her at the table.

"What did you guys do yesterday?" Alice asked me as she dipped her spoon in the cereal.

"We went to Port Angeles," I answered. "We went to the bookstore, then walked along City Pier."

"How cool," Alice said, smiling at me. "Bella loves to read."

"I noticed." I looked at Alice and decided she deserved to know. "I asked Bella if she wanted to be my girlfriend."

Her eyes widened along with her smile. "Oh!" she gasped. "She said yes right? Of course she did. Oh Edward! You're her first boyfriend, you know that right? Of course you know that! Oh! I'm so so so happy! Bella is my best friend and she so deserves to have a boyfriend!"

I chuckled softly as Alice bounced in her seat and rambled on.

"It's perfect!" she cried happily.

"What's perfect?" Emmett asked as he ambled into the kitchen.

"Edward is Bella's boyfriend now!"

Emmett looked at me. "Yes!" he pumped his fist in the air, like he always seemed to do when he was excited. "Way to go bro!" He came over to the table and extended his fist. I bumped it with mine and he laughed. "That is perfect!"

"I know!" Alice gushed. "Now there is the six of us. I always felt bad that Bella didn't have anyone."

Emmett went to get a bowl of cereal. I nearly laughed when I saw him pull out the Lucky Charms. I had wondered who ate the sugary cereal. I peeked at Alice and saw her still smiling. I was so happy that Emmett and Alice continued to treat me normal. They had seen my break down over the vase, but neither had said anything or acted any different around me. I was extremely grateful for that.

"Any plans for today?" Emmett asked as he sat down with his huge bowl of Lucky Charms.

I pushed my cereal around. "No, not yet."

"I'm sure something will come up," Emmett smiled.

"Edward?" I heard my name being called from the stairs. My forehead wrinkled a bit and I looked at Alice and Emmett. They shrugged, but continued to eat their cereal. I left my barely touched bowl and headed out of the kitchen.

Esme stood on the top of the stairs, her hands on her hips. "There you are. Come here for a second."

I climbed the stairs and tried to fight the old panic that was twisting in my stomach. Calm down, my brain hissed. This is Esme, she isn't going to do anything to you. I followed her into a room I had never been before. It was smaller than any of the other rooms, painted a light blue color. Black and white pictures decorated the walls and a large mahogany desk stood in the middle. Architecture and design books lined one of the walls, and like every other room on this side of the house, the back wall was made of floor to ceiling windows. I realized this was Esme's office.

"I want to show you something honey," she said. I noticed the smile playing around her lips. I walked slowly to her desk and peered at the computer screen that she was pointing at. A vase met my eyes. It was a different color, but the detail was just intricate as the one she had owned. "Beautiful," she murmured. "Even more so than the other."

Then my eyes went to the little black numbers below the picture. My breath left me and my gaze flew to Esme. "Its eight thousand dollars," I choked out.

"Yes," she nearly purred as her fingers traced the designs on the screen. "That is what I bought it for. But you see Edward, I bargained them down. It was supposed to be closer to fifteen. Something told them that I deserved this vase for much less. As if they knew and it saved me nearly seven thousand dollars."

I understood what she was trying to say. That it negated the other vase. My breaking it ceased to matter. That was why she was showing this to me. "Thank you Esme," I said.

"I told you I would find one I like more." She smiled triumphantly at me. Then she came around the desk and put her hands on my upper arms. I fought not to flinch. "Please do not think of it any longer."

I nodded. "Thank you," I said again. I left Esme's office and went back to the kitchen. I found my now soggy cereal still sitting on the table, but Alice and Emmett had disappeared. I dumped the cereal into the sink and cleaned out the bowl. Then I saw the note sitting on the counter. "We are going to play baseball today. Grab Bella and meet us at the high school field at eleven," it said in Alice's loopy scrawl.

Baseball. I knew the idea stemmed from what I had said that night at the sleep over. Why had I mentioned it? I hadn't so much as looked at a baseball since the night my mom died. I wanted to walk away from the note and pretend I hadn't read it. But that was no good. I couldn't treat Alice and Emmett like that and I couldn't deny Bella a day with her friends. "Come on, Edward," I muttered. "Suck it up, it's just a game."

With a sigh, I moved to the phone and called Bella to tell her the game plan for the day. She sounded delighted with the day's activity and said she'd be ready to go by ten forty-five. Then she told me that Charlie couldn't wait to meet me. After I hung up the phone, I stared at it and tried to imagine meeting Bella's police chief father. She had probably told him that I was her boyfriend. It would explain why he wanted to meet me.

I still had an hour to wait before I could leave for Bella's, so I made my way to the piano. I played for a while, enjoying the sound and feel of the real piano. The keyboard was fine for my late night need, but nothing could match the quality of a piano. Especially a beautiful grand piano like this. I played, switching between the classical music of Beethoven and Bach to more contemporary pieces, to my own creations. Music filled the house and eased my nerves.

As the clock crept closer to ten thirty, I let the music end and pulled the lid over the keys. I stood up and that's when I noticed Esme. She sat on the bottom step of the staircase, holding her knees. She grinned sheepishly when I noticed her. "I'm sorry," she said, sounding like a five year that had been caught with her hand in cookie jar. "I just love listening to you play. It's mesmerizing. I couldn't hear well enough in my office."

It felt good to do something that made her happy. "It's okay," I said. "I like that you like it."

"I do," she agreed. "What was the last piece you were playing? I didn't recognize it."

"Oh. That. Hm." I stammered, then blurted out the truth. "It's for you and Carlisle. You guys love each other and it shows. It reminds me of my mom and dad, before he died."

"Oh Edward," she breathed, sounding delighted. "That is so endearingly sweet. You must play it for Carlisle."

"Okay." I nodded and tried really hard not to be embarrassed. "I need to go now," I said, hoping I didn't sound rude. "I'm picking up Bella and meeting Alice and Emmett to play baseball."

"Wonderful!" Esme said, her face lighting up again. "I am so glad you are adjusting so well."

I smiled, even though that wasn't the complete truth. "I will see you later, Esme,"

"Yes honey, have fun!"

I went out to my Volvo and drove to Bella's house. In front, I saw the police cruiser. The beating of my heart immediately picked up as I stepped from my car. I went to the door, took a deep breath and knocked.

The door opened almost instantly. "Hey Edward!" Bella sang and she threw her arms around me.

"Bella," I breathed as I held her tight. It felt like days, instead of hours since I had seen her last. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

She pulled away and examine my face with her knowing eyes. "Oh sweetheart," she whispered as her hands came up to my face. "You had another nightmare, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

She wrapped her arms around my neck again, holding me and running her hands along my back. This was a hug of comfort.

"I'm okay," I whispered against her hair. "It's no big deal."

"Bella?" I heard a man's voice calling her name and pulled away from her just in time to see her father come around the corner. "Is he here?"

"Yes, Dad. This is Edward Masen."

I stepped forward with my hand extended. "It's nice to meet you, sir."

"Edward," her father said, returning my hand shake. "What are your plans for my daughter?"

My brain scrambled for the meaning of his words. Did he mean what are we doing today? Or did he mean more long term? "I—um, we are going to play baseball," I managed to get out.

"Baseball?" Charlie Swan looked from me to his daughter. Then he laughed. "Well, more power to you, I guess."

Bella huffed at that. "Thanks, Dad," she muttered.

Charlie laughed again. "Have fun Bella, be safe."

"I will, thanks. See you!"

She took my hand and led me out of the house. I breathed a sigh of relief that it was over and nothing catastrophic had occurred. I opened the door for her and then sprinted around to my side.

"How are you doing today?" I asked her as I started the car.

"Great, especially since I get to hang out with you," she smiled at me. "I missed you."

"Me too." I picked her hand up and kissed it gently. "And just so you know, Emmett and Alice know."

"Know what?"

"That you are my girlfriend." I frowned. Maybe that was something she wanted to tell Alice herself. "I'm sorry. I didn't think. You probably wanted to tell Alice."

"Nah, it's cool. Don't worry about Edward. I probably would have been embarrassed anyway."

I relaxed. "Okay." We had reached the high school and I parked in the same lot we used when we went to school. I got out and went to the other side to get the door.

"Thanks," she said, like she always did when I opened the door for her. She is so sweet. I took her hand and we made our way to the field.

With every step I took, I felt my stomach twist a little more. The yellow foul poles loomed against the gray sky. I tried to keep my breathing even as the green grass of the outfield came into the view. Then the dirt of the infield, then the grass of the inner diamond. I stopped.

Bella jerked to a stop because of our joined hands. "Edward?" she asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said thickly. "Just brings back memories from Chicago." I smiled as best I could.

"Oh yeah! You said you played with your friends."

I nodded, not trusting my voice. It felt like I was wading through glue as I forced myself to continue walking.

Hey man, we are going to play a game of pick up ball, you need to come.

Okay. Just for a little bit.

God, I should never have said yes that day. I should have gone home. Straight home. Selfish!

We reached the in field and came to a stop next to the others. All I could hear was a buzzing in my ears as I tried to force out the memories of another field, another time. I could see Emmett's mouth moving, but no words reached me.

Edward! You're joining us bro, that awesome! We want you on our team!

No way! I got him here. Play centerfield, Edward.

Suddenly a mitt appeared in front of my face. "What?" I said, knowing I had missed something.

Emmett smiled. "I said go play centerfield, Edward."

I swallowed thickly and grabbed the mitt. I turned then and ran to the outfield. I saw Rosalie standing on the other side of the field, mitt in hand. Jasper stood between first and second base and Alice pranced about at homeplate, holding a bat. Emmett positioned himself on the pitcher's mound. I noticed Bella sitting on the bench in the dugout.

"Come on Alice!" she cheered. The sight of her made me smile. Of course she would be sitting on the bench. The poor girl could not be trusted holding a bat or throwing a ball. But looking at her helped me focus in on the game in front of me.

Emmett wound up and delivered the pitch. Alice swung and connected with the white sphere. It flew off her bat with surprising force. I watched as it seemed to move in slow motion to my right. I took off, leaping at the last second, snatching the ball out of the sky. Then I hurled it back to Emmett. He stared at me, mouth slightly open. "Damn, bro…"

For just a second, I saw Kevin Adams standing on the mound. I shook my head and forced myself to stay in the present. "You are not in Chicago," I repeated to myself as I focused on Emmett as he sent off another pitch. This time, the ball bounced to Jasper, who nabbed it. He ran to first base and touched it before Alice got there. "Jerk!" she cried as she pushed him away. Then she grabbed him and kissed him fiercely. Leaving Jasper with a stunned look on his face, she raced back to homeplate and picked up the bat. This time she swung and missed. "That's three!" Rosalie shouted from her place in the outfield.

Alice dropped the bat and ran out to take Jasper's position. He went to homeplate and picked up the bat.

The game continued. It got easier to stay in the present as more time went on. I could finally take a deep breath, when all of a sudden, there was a commotion coming from behind the fence. I had just finished my at bat and was standing next to Emmett. "Great," he muttered.

"What?" I asked, squinting to see who it was.

"Varsity just showed up," Emmett growled. By this time, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice and Bella had joined us on the mound.

I watched as the group of boys came closer. And then I knew why Emmett was so upset. Because walking towards us was Mike Newton, Tyler Crowley and Eric Yorkie along with a couple of boys I didn't recognize.

"Great," I muttered.

A/N I know this is kind of a random place to stop, but I had so much more for this chapter and it was getting extremely long. I needed a stopping point and this is the best I could find. But, if all goes to plan, chapter 15 should be up really quickly.

So we almost got to 100 reviews with the last chapter. Thank you so so much to all of you that reviewed. We should definitely reach 100 with this one. Yay :o)