Chapter Seventeen

AN: Hey, everyone. Sorry this took so long-there was a combination of not having internet access, starting a second job, and good old-fashioned procrastination going on, but here's the next chapter! Enjoy!

"Yeah," I nodded, folding a t-shirt and using my shoulder to keep the phone to my ear. "I should be there sometime in the afternoon."

Kelsey sighed, "Ugh, my mom won't drive me until she's out of work. I'm not gonna get there until tomorrow night."

"That sucks," I said, "I'm sorry. But me and Rach will be there ready to welcome you when you get there."

She was quiet for a minute. "I'd feel very welcome if you two welcomed me with alcohol and attractive men."

I laughed. "Yeah, I'd talk to Rachael about that. I'm not gonna be much help on that front."

She groaned. "Four hours alone with my mother in a car, and you're not going to help me get drunk and have sex?"

"I'm a terrible friend," I said, rolling my eyes, "I know. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

"I suppose so," she said and sighed. "All right. It's late, and I haven't even started packing yet."

"Yeah," I agreed, surveying my open suitcases in front of me. "I'm just finishing up."

"Okay," she said. "I'll let you go, and I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Kels," I said.

She made a kissing noise into the phone, "Bye, love."

I closed my phone and put it down on my bedroom floor. The clothes I'd brought from school were all packed away. With a deep breath, I pulled one last t-shirt out of my open armoire drawer. It was black with a bright yellow lightning bolt in the center. Jacob had given it to me over the summer. His dad was making him clear out his closet and get rid of all the clothes he wasn't going to wear anymore. The t-shirt was one of many shirts in a pile Jacob had deemed, "The Before Pile."

With a small smile, I began to fold the sleeves in towards each other when a load thump from my window made me flinch and gasp. I put my hand to my mouth, not wanting to wake up Charlie and moved cautiously over to the window.

I had to squint to make out Jacob's form, balancing expertly on a branch just outside the glass. I smiled and opened the window. "Hey there, crazy kid. I know you want to get the most out of all your super-cool abilities, but it is all right to occasionally use the front door. I won't tell anyone, I swear."

His mouth was a straight line. "Hey, Bella."

"Hey," I smiled wider, "What's up?"

He paused then said, "Can I come in?"

I shrugged, "Sure," and moved back into the room, leaving him room to land. He jumped through the window expertly, landing right in front of me, solidly on both feet. His hair was damp, as it was raining outside as usual, and I could see the raindrops on his t-shirt. I looked up at him, still smiling. "This is a nice surprise." I reached out and wrapped my arms around his waist.

He exhaled. "Yeah," he said, "Why don't you sit down?"

I felt the switch in the air. Something wasn't right. I sat on the bed slowly. "Okay," I bit my lip, "What's wrong?"

"Um," he muttered, looking down at the floor and my open suitcases. "I'm not sure how to do this."

I shook my head. "Do what?"

He narrowed his eyes at the ground and his jaw tightened. "I've been talking a lot with the pack."

"Okay," I said hesitantly. "Why is—I mean, what does that mean? Don't you always talk a lot with the—"

"Listen," he said, putting a hand up. "This isn't easy for me, all right? This isn't something I really want to do. This is something I have to do."

"I don't get it," I said, getting worried. "Is it Sam? Is he making you do something?"

"No," he said. "It's not Sam; it's…it's something I should have done a while ago."

"Jacob," I said slowly. "What's going on? It's all right. You can tell me."

"Bella," he said, pushing the words out. "I don't think we should be with each other anymore."

The moment froze forever, and my heart twisted with a familiar pain. My eyes blinked and my mouth formed around my voice, as it said, "No."

Jacob closed his eyes tight for a second then reopened them and found mine. "It's not right, Bella. It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to you. And we've—we've been pretending—we've been pretending that this is right, but it's not. It's not right at all. We—we're not good together."

I shook my head. "We're perfect together. You're my best friend. Don't do this."

"Don't make this hard, Bella," he said.

"I'm going to make this hard," I demanded. "This isn't from you. I don't believe that. You love me. You don't want to do this."

"That's not true," he insisted.

"Like hell it's not!" I shot back. "They got to you; didn't they? What did they say? What did they tell you?"

"They told me I should stay with you!" he yelled back. "They told me you were perfect—that I was lucky to have you."

My mouth fell open and I stood. "Then what the hell, Jake? Why are you doing this?"

His face was stone. "You know why, Bella."

"What?" I nearly screamed. "What does that mean? I don't have any idea—!" His eyes narrowed, and I exhaled hard. "Nothing! Happened!"

He shook his head. "It's not about what happened," he said. "It's about you. It's about how you feel—about him."

"He's gone, Jake!" I threw my arms out. "He was gone for two years, and he's gone now!" His expression remained. "I picked you, Jacob! I want you!"

"No," he said quietly. "You didn't—I mean, you—it wasn't really you—it was—your head picked me."

I stood before him, shaking my head and shrugging. "Well, I don't have any clue what that means."

He shook his head. "I think you do."

I closed my eyes and reached out to him. "Jacob, come on," I whispered, pulling myself in to him. "Don't do this. We love each other. We're the real thing." I looked up at him to a blank expression. "I'm sorry," I said. "I'm sorry that you feel—threatened or—I don't know, insecure, and I'll do whatever you want me to do to make you feel better! Please," I begged, "Let me try. You have to at least let me try to do better. Just please don't do this. Please, please, Jacob. Don't do this to me." I sobbed into his shoulder.

"All right, fine, Bella," he said, pushing me away and holding me at arm's length. "Tell me, then. Look at me in the eye, and tell me I'm wrong. Tell me you don't love him."

"I love you," I insisted.

"That's not what I asked," he said. "I need you to look me in the eye and tell me the truth," he demanded, "Because I don't think I've heard it for a while."

"What does that mean?" I shook my head.

"Tell me the truth, Bella," he said. "Everything. Or I'm leaving."

I breathed in carefully, trying to grip into every moment. "Okay. Fine. There was one kiss. One small, tiny kiss."

He let go of me angrily, and I took a step back, afraid he might phase. "He kissed you?" he asked.

I swallowed hard. He wanted honest. "Well…"

"Seriously!" his eyes went wide. "You kiss him and lie to me about it!"

"Because it didn't mean anything! I didn't want to hurt you!" I insisted.

He put a hand to his head. "God, Bella, you don't even realize it, do you?" He pointed to me then him. "This isn't right! You belong with him!"

"No, I don't!" I yelled. "I belong with you!"

"Bella," he sighed. "This isn't going to work. I can't compete with the love of your life. And I shouldn't have to. That's not right."

"He's not the—"

"Listen, Bella," he said quietly. "When you told me how you feel when you're with him—"

"That's not fair! You can't ask me to be honest and then break up with me when you don't like what I say!" I cried.

"Bella, stop! You see the rest of your life when you're with him. You feel destined to be with him, for God's sake!"

I closed my eyes and reached a hand out to him. I took hold of his arm and squeezed it. The heat of it made my palm moist. "Maybe I could feel that way with you," I whispered, desperate. "Maybe if you let me try."

"Bella," he pulled me close and kissed my forehead. "We've been trying for two years. I'm sorry."

"Don't do this," I murmured. "Don't do this, Jacob. Please, don't."

"You'll be happy with him, Bella," he said. "And maybe someday, I'll imprint or something, and we'll both be happy." He waited for a response. I couldn't say anything. "It's better this way, Bells." He ran a hand through my hair. "If you want to talk, you can call. If not, I'll understand. I'm gonna go now."

I gripped into him, but he easily uncurled my fingers and pushed me gently away. He was a blur in front of me as he leaped out the window and ran away from the house. I wiped my tears away quickly in time to catch a glimpse of his red-brown tail disappearing in between the trees.

AN: Oh, reviews, how I love them so! Also, I'd love to hear what you'd all like to happen next/what you think will happen next/etc. I sort of have it planned out, but I'm really interested to know what you think! Thanks!