Chapter XVIII: A Sword Asunder

For the rest of the day Tata was a burden. He was too small or young to be of any use – he couldn't carry much (even if Toma would let him) and he couldn't fight. He didn't know where he was going because he had counted on others to lead the way. Normally Chrono wouldn't have had a problem with that, but Tata had a way of getting on everyone's nerves. He made sure everyone knew just how little use he would be by whining every time something went the slightest bit wrong. Once he stopped the group for a moment while he dug a "huge stone" out of his shoe – a stone no larger than a pebble – and whined about how it had been biting at his heel. Chrono was tempted to shoot back a retort, but he let it go. After all, this Hero was still a child, and couldn't understand the real ways of the world. He's just a scared little boy, right? Right. But he is such an annoying coward I could… never mind, I don't want to go there right now.

In a way, Tata reminded Chrono of himself when he was a child… but that was another memory he had done well in forgetting. Even now he couldn't remember himself before the battle at Zenan. Sure, he remembered almost every gritty detail of the last year, but it felt like another person had been there. If he had been like this terrible child he should have remembered.

Even now Tata was bringing forth another complaint, this time about the distance they had traveled. "I cannot bear to take another step! My feet are in agony!"

Chrono and Lucca just shared looks, rolled their eyes, and stayed silent. "We're almost there," Toma grinned, trying not to laugh. "It will be a long trek to the top. You will certainly have strong legs by then!"

"I don't think this is funny!"

"Never mind," Nadia interrupted. "We'll find a place to rest soon. You can make it. I promise."

Tata looked disappointed, as if that were the answer he least wanted to hear, but he just pouted and said "if I must."

Everyone just shut up and let's go! Chrono thought, glad no one could hear his internal ramblings. But he checked himself. He is a child, and he's not a strong as you… in more ways than one. Wouldn't a little bit of grace help here? He nodded and grunted, not caring if the others gave him strange looks. (He would have given one himself, considering how foolish he felt arguing with himself.)

Eventually they did find a place to settle for the evening. The sun was beginning to set, and everyone was anxious for rest. They found a small grove with smooth, mossy ground, surrounded by the woods. Despite Nadia's reservations about safety, Toma insisted that this was the safest they were going to get. Even though the woods encroached on all sides, they would make sure all their supplies were far enough towards the center that any approaching creature would have to step into the open to attack.

Toma was the expert in outdoor survival, so everyone let him give the orders. First he had all of them grab some nearby rocks and arrange them in a circle for a firepit. Then they laid out their packs around the edge. Finally their heavy loads would do some good. Toma, Chrono, and Robo had carried makeshift tents with them, which they quickly set up. Meanwhile Nadia and Lucca starting laying out the sleeping bags and other paraphernalia, letting Tata lie down in some grass.

When it was done they all sat down a moment and wiped sweat from their faces. Despite how late the day was getting, the weather still felt hot. Toma warned them that it would soon be extremely cold, and though Chrono thought he was exaggerating a tad, he almost hoped it would be cold for a change. However, he didn't want to be unprepared, so when Toma suggested they go find some kindling for a fire, he jumped at the chance.

"Wait," Lucca interjected. "Do we really need…?"

"Unless you want to keep a fire going the whole night," was Chrono's response. Lucca understood. (Toma did not, but they shushed him before he even got a word out.) She suggested she and Robo go out for that, as they could probably get a substantial load that way. While they went away, Toma explained, he and Chrono would go see if they could find some water nearby. Their canteens wouldn't be full forever.

At first Nadia objected. "Wait… you're going to leave me here with… him?" she jerked her head in Tata's direction. Luckily for her Tata was not paying attention.

Sure. You're the best with the children anyway… no… you're the kindest one of us… not even… "You're the only one that can stand him." She just gave Chrono a half-smile and sat down on a dirty log.

He left them there and followed Toma into the woods. "What makes you think there'll be any water nearby anyway," Chrono mused as soon as they were alone.

"Are you joking?" Toma grinned, then realized Chrono was serious, and then he slightly shook his head. "We passed a stream at the base of the mountain. The stream must begin somewhere." Chrono just blushed as Toma suppressed a laugh. From then on Chrono just kept quiet and followed Toma's instructions to the letter. He had suddenly realized just how ill-prepared he was… as if the last two weeks hadn't been enough of an indication. He never would have thought he'd be scaling a mountain and living in the wild. History made it seem so easy.

"Are you feeling ill?" The question almost made him jump. "Chrono?" Toma was staring at him.

"No, no… sorry, my mind was wandering."

"Ah." He shrugged as if it were no big deal, but then added, "see that you keep your wits, or you'll lose more than your mind."

"That's not comforting at all," Chrono said to himself, hoping Toma wouldn't hear.

He did. Toma burst out in laughter. "Should it be? Since when has comfort been one of life's mistresses?"

"Never mind." Since when did you become a philosopher?

The explorer stopped short and thrust out his hand toward Chrono. "Shh – there is a stream nearby. I thought there would be one here somewhere. Did you remember your bottle?"

"Canteen."

"Bottle. I trust you did. I'm thirsty myself, and I'm always the last to be thirsty." He chuckled to himself and jogged into the underbrush. Once there he waited a few moments and then shouted. "Chrono! Come here already! This one will do!"

Chrono followed until he was standing next to the stream – if that was the right word. "River" might have been better, as this so-called stream was over ten feet wide, and appeared to be several feet deep. At the sight of all that water he realized just how thirsty he was. He quickly unscrewed the cap to his canteen and dunked it under the glassy surface of the river. The water bubbled around his hand, cold and fresh. As soon as his canteen was full he took it out and drank the entire contents in less than a minute.

"Not so fast," Toma said, dunking his own canteen under the water. "Unless you want to be up all night watering the good earth." He then proceeded to fill his extra bottles.

Chrono gasped for air and wiped his sleeve along his mouth in satisfaction. "Toma," he said suddenly, "do you ever wonder you're doing the right thing?"

Toma just stared at him blankly, as if hiding a perplexed smile. All he said was "What?"

"Sorry," he blurted. "Sorry, that just came out. I didn't mean anything…"

"No, no, say it again."

"Do you ever wonder, or think about…" the words felt stranger now that he was thinking about them… "well, if this is all right. If we're doing the right thing."

"I rarely think, I often do. That's my motto. And you? You think the same way?"

"I was just wondering, that's all."

"Of course you were."

"Sorry. We should be getting back." Chrono refilled his canteen and stepped back onto the path, Toma right behind. I was just wondering… right? This is awkward. Fortunately, on the way back, Toma felt like making small talk, which sort of eased Chrono's nagging doubts, or at least made him feel a little more comfortable. But inevitably, conversation shifted to the others in the group – mostly Nadia and Lucca.

"Fine women," Toma said at one point. "Until now I had never seen a woman who could compete with a man in any regard, especially the skills of survival. You're lucky, you know. Fine women. What say you – what do you think of them?"

Chrono stiffened a little, but kept walking. "What?" Now this is really awkward. "I can't say much, really."

"Nonsense! You must have a hundred tales to tell! Have you anything to remember?"

"No actually, I haven't given it any thought."

Toma's jaw actually dropped. "I can't forget a single woman I've seen and you can't remember the two you have even lived with! Life is cruelty, I tell you. There's nothing wrong with you, I trust. A little dead inside?"

"I'm fine. I just… well, no, not that, it's…"

"I'm dying to hear," Toma grinned.

"They're my friends. I couldn't think of them that way. I mean, if that's what you meant by that way and not some other way. Then no. Otherwise yes. Unless not."

"Liar. I know one when I see one. Which one catches your eye?"

"They don't. I mean, not like that. They're both nice looking, I guess, but – "

"But ah – you can only choose one. That is the rule."

Chrono kept his head down as if talking to his feet. "Listen, Toma, Lucca's been my friend ever since I was a boy… and Nadia, well, she's… someone that… never mind, I wouldn't have time to explain. That's just not how things work."

"Then say you don't fancy either. If you were lost on an island somewhere and were given the choice of just one – "

"No. Not happening. I'm not going to be comfortable with that. Let's pretend you just did not say anything."

Toma laughed quietly and said nothing more, leaving Chrono alone with his thoughts for the rest of the way. And the more he thought, the more he realized he had been thinking about them… but it's not like that, it's different. They're my team. They're my friends. So why am I thinking about them at all?

Naturally the moment he started really thinking he arrived at the clearing again to see Nadia. She was sprawled out on one of the fallen logs in an awkward pose – as if to point out simultaneously just how uncomfortable she was and that she was fine and didn't need any help. When she saw Chrono she pulled herself up using a nearby branch. As soon as she let go, the branch snapped back and nicked her in the face. She just put a hand to her cheek and said "Tata's in the tent getting his rest.:

"That's too bad," Chrono replied.

"What for?"

He grinned. "You could have been spending quality time together."

Toma chuckled and took a seat by the firepit to prepare dinner. For the moment Chrono just sat on another log opposite Nadia. She lay back down again, but this time she tried to make herself appear more comfortable. Soon she had relaxed enough to close her eyes and drift to sleep. Chrono looked at her now and knew he saw something very different from what he had ever seen before: he saw Nadia as a friend, or more than a friend – a partner. And he felt responsible for her, for where she was, what she did, even what she thought. It was as if he could see all his previous and present actions interfering with her and moving her around in his own timeline, from when they first met a year ago at the fair to when he rode with her in the car to when he watched her heal the king, and beyond. He felt she was a part of him somehow, figuratively. And as soon as he realized that he felt this, he jumped a little inside and scolded himself for thinking that way. He had never actually taken the time to notice someone else before, so he physically felt something different inside him, which he immediately blamed on the strange mountain air.

He jumped again at the sound of leaves rustling and branches snapping in the distance. A moment later he heard Lucca's distinct cackle and relaxed again. She and Robo soon came bounding into the clearing, each carrying a multitude of split logs and branches. Actually, Robo carried the logs; Lucca carried the kindling. Toma had them drop the materials by the pit. "I'll start the fire if one of you gets the food from the tent."

"No, I'll start the fire," Lucca said.

Toma hesitated a moment before continuing. "Then I'll get the food. I trust you will need my tools."

"No, I have my own."

She had a roaring fire going before Toma returned from the tent with news: "The Hero has wounded himself with his own sword."

"There's a moral in there somewhere," Chrono muttered. Robo heard this and shot him a look before going into the tent himself.

The meal went smoothly enough. Nothing that Chrono cared to remember, but it felt good to get something in his stomach. The Hero even made an appearance and managed not to look disgusted with everyone else the whole time. He didn't say anything though, and everyone took that to mean that they weren't allowed to talk either. It was awkward but not intolerable. Nadia woke up at the smell of the food cooking and ventured to have some. She then noticed the makeshift bandage on the Hero's hand and made a move to help. Chrono and Lucca both pursed their lips and motioned for her to back off.

Once the Hero returned to his quarters the rest of them relaxed a little, and felt permission to speak. Mostly they just discussed tomorrow's route, or how they would ration food supplies, or if they would just ditch Tata and move on unburdened (actually, only Lucca even suggested it, but Chrono was somewhat sure she was joking). Soon enough they all felt the conversation was finished, and so they started packing for bed. In order to keep watch all night, they at first decided to sleep in shifts, every two hours replacing the watchman outside. But Robo quickly convinced them all he could stay out the whole night. Toma was a little confused, but he relented, and so everyone but Robo and Chrono retired for the night.

"Chrono, are you not going to rest? Your body will be unable to survive another day if you do not sleep."

"I'm not tired." There was a long pause. "So I'll stay out here for a while."

"That is fine. But do not expect a great deal of conversation from me. I cannot think of anything amusing to say at the moment."

Chrono nodded and rested his head on his fists. He wanted to rub his shoulders and feel if there was anything hanging on them, but he knew his were unburdened… at least physically. But he still felt a sort of weight on them. It was a good kind of weight, he decided, because it was the result of his own decisions. Even then he wished he could relax a little. Every time he tried to stop thinking about the things that frightened him, he thought about them all the more, and the harder he tried, the worse his thoughts got. Is this really going to work? Is the Masamune real? What if the wizard doesn't know the origins of Lavos?

"Do not worry about it," Robo said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Whatever you are worrying about."

"Nothing really." Another long silence went by. "Actually, everything."

"Yes, I thought so. None of us realized what we were attempting when we started. You have simply realized before the rest of us. I suppose some would say you are passing through the stage when a boy becomes – "

"Wait, how do you know all this stuff about me?"

"Ah, Lucca has taught me much in the field of human emotions and thoughts. I pieced together everything from that and from what you said to me on the battlefield at Zenan. Lucca tells me a lot about you."

"Shut up."

"I am sorry, I do not mean to talk if you would rather have silence."

"No, sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I meant… well, it's hard to explain."

"Yes, you are confused. Perhaps I can help."

"What are you, my mother?"

"No. That would be very wrong. I simply feel a sort of responsibility for the group. Especially Lucca. Please do not tell her this – but… she is a fool. I cannot believe I would ever say something like that about her, but it is true. She has intelligence beyond anyone I have yet to meet (though admittedly I have not met very many people), but she is still a child inside."

Chrono heard the next silence like marbles rubbing together. "Okay, I think I'll try to sleep now."

"Oh, I have embarrassed you?"

"Yes. Exactly. But thanks anyway." He turned to go, but stopped short right before entering the tent.

"What is it? Is there something there?" Robo stood. "Oh. That is impossible."

Right in front of the opening to the tent stood a strange boy. He looked like he couldn't be much older than seven years. His hair and clothes were unkempt and his face unclean, yet he seemed to be the most beautiful child Chrono had ever seen. It seemed the air was visibly lighter around him. The boy didn't move or say anything, so Chrono stood rigid.

"We are surrounded," Robo said flatly, swiveling his head around. On all sides of them were many creatures – some goblins and swordsmen, like the ones they had fought earlier. There were also many great birds, each three or four feet long, perched in the branches. The creatures stared inward, but never moved. They seemed fixated on the boy, who also remained still. Then, one by one, they started to rustle a little. The birds flapped their wings and the goblins stomped in the dirt. But still they never moved inward. Instead, they moved to each other. One by one they started to interact, the birds grooming each other, the swordsmen trading, and the goblins grunting all at once.

Chrono stood agape until Robo spoke again. "This cannot be real. Something is wrong. My eyes are not receiving information normally."

"It looks real to me."

"The boy… is not a boy."

Chrono turned to look, but the boy had vanished. "Wait, where did he go?"

"He is still in front of the tent."

"No he's not, he's gone."

"I suspect we have crossed a line between fantasy and reality."

"For the first time?"

"Hold on! The boy is running off!" Chrono turned all around, but he still couldn't see the boy. However, he saw all the creatures, one by one, scurry or fly away. Soon the forest was empty again – not a single sound above his breathing, and then a rustling from in the tent.

Lucca stuck her head out. "Will you stop all that grunting out here? I'm trying to sleep." Upon seeing their perplexed expressions, she added, "what is going on out here anyway?"

"Nothing."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Finally, I got an update in! And for those of you wondering why the action has stopped: yes, I am stalling. Actually, I thought this would be the place to introduce some moments I have neglected to include earlier (such as the party actually interacting with each other like real people) and other moments that set up some later scenes. Well, if I remember to include those later scenes. It'll make sense then. Plus, I haven't quite nailed down what will happen in the next update. Sure, I know what will happen after that, but the next one is particularly troublesome. I have a hard time believing that the party would have to just fight for the sword, but at the same time I don't want to just cop out and do some sort of riddle test. Just trust that I'm thinking about it, so if the update doesn't appear for a while, that's why.

At the end there I wanted to return to some of that plain weird mystery I had going at "The End of Time." For one, the last couple of chapters had too much nitty-gritty realism (well, as realistic as this story can get) without the crazy stuff that happens in the game. Plus, it's a continuity thing. The End of Time can't be the only weird part of the story. I do have other reasons for including it, though - I'm trying to set up future moments like this (with particular characters), so we'll see how that works out.

Anyway, enjoy your spring/summer, everybody. Go out and party so I don't feel guilty about not updating all the freaking time.