Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters.


Chapter 20

When I got to the front door, I squared my shoulders and went inside. I could hear the TV in the family room, so I knew Carlisle and Esme were still watching TV. I went to join them. They were curled up on the couch together. I went to an oversized chair and sat down.

"Hey Edward," Carlisle said, obviously pleased that I had joined them.

"Hi." Short answers worked best, those darn iron bands still restricted my chest.

"How was your day, honey?" Esme asked as the commercials started.

"Fine," I said. "Got an A on my calculus test," I tried to elaborate.

"Excellent," Carlisle said. He turned his face and winked at me. "I don't think you are going to need much help from me to achieve your goal."

I nodded, trying to block out the fact that I would not be joining Carlisle at the hospital this Saturday.

The show started again and they both turned their attention of the characters on the screen. I watched, but for the life of me, I couldn't concentrate on what they were saying. I heard Esme chuckling out loud several times, so I know it must have been a funny show. I kept glancing at them, wishing I could tell them how I felt about them, how they had saved my life and given me the best two and half months I could have asked for. They had opened their home and their hearts to me, even though no one asked them too.

Saying yes to them at that hospital in Chicago was the best decision I had ever made.

I needed some way to express to them how much I cared. An idea came to me and I smiled to myself. Now I waited anxiously for the show to end. I looked over at them again, and marveled at what a beautiful couple they make, both on their outsides and their insides. Right now, Carlisle had his arm around Esme, holding her close to his chest, his fingers gently running along his wife's bare arm. Every now and then Esme would burst out laughing. "I love Sheldon," she said at one point.

Carlisle laughed and kissed Esme's hair. "Yes, I know my dear. I think I have more fun watching you watch this show than I do actually watching the show."

I glanced at the TV and saw they seemed to be gearing up to play Rock, Paper Scissors.

One of the characters was explaining a new version of the game. "Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors," the slightly nerdy man explained.

Esme giggled out loud. Remarkably, I felt a smile tickle at my own lips. But, as funny as the show was, it couldn't hold my attention. My mind drifted away from the hilarity and into the seriousness of my situation. I wondered what Carlisle and Esme would think when I didn't come down for breakfast tomorrow morning. I hoped they didn't worry too much when they found me gone. That was a ridiculous thought. Of course they would worry.

Finally, the show ended. "Are you going to stay down here and watch some more? Carlisle asked me.

I shook my head. He used the remote to turn off the TV.

I stood and faced them, suddenly feeling nervous and wishing those damn bands would loosen for just a second so I could take a deep breath. My chest physically hurt from not being able to breathe properly all day. "I would like to do something, before you go up to bed," I said. "It won't take long."

They nodded and I led them into the living room, where the piano stood. Esme let out a gasp of joy as I walked over and lifted the piano lid. I looked at her and nodded.

"Edward wrote us a song," she said as she pulled Carlisle closer to the piano.

I felt my cheeks turn red. "I didn't really write it," I mumbled. I cleared my throat. "But its music that goes through my head when I think of you both and your love for each other."

I lifted my trembling fingers to the keys and used the instrument to convey what I saw in them and how blessed I felt to have been taken into their home. When it ended, Esme came up the piano and gently kissed my forehead. "Such talent," she said. "You should try to get into a performing arts college, when the time comes."

"I agree. That was wonderful, Edward," Carlisle said, moving closer to the piano.

I stood up and drew Esme into my arms. She hugged me and patted my back. I could feel tears prickling in my eyes and I forced them back. After I let go of Esme, I turned to Carlisle. We had never hugged before. I got the feeling that ever since I had cringed away from in him in fear, that he was afraid to touch me. But I had too now. Even if it wasn't a "normal" thing to do, I had too.

Carlisle made it easy for me. As soon as I moved forward, his arms were there, squeezing me gently for a few precious seconds.

As I walked upstairs with them, I had to bite the inside of my lip to keep from asking them to help me. They had told me that I could always talk to them and I felt like I was betraying their trust by not telling them what was going on.

I couldn't risk Bella's safety for my own.

"Good night, Edward," Esme said as we reached the top of the stairs.

"See you in the morning," Carlisle added as they turned towards their room.

"Good night," I somehow managed. As they walked away, I went down the hall, stopping at the first door.

I knocked. "Come in," Emmett called.

I opened the door and saw Emmett lying on his bed. He was dressed in black sweats and a white t shirt. He was leaning against his pillows, the video game remote control in his hand.

"Hey bro," he said, not taking his eyes off the game. "What's up?"

"Not much," I said. Honestly I had no clue what to say him. I watched him beat up monsters for a few minutes, half wishing he could beat up my monsters as easily. "I just wanted to say good night," I said. Lame thing to say, I know. Really I wanted to ask him to keep Bella safe for me after I was gone.

"Good night, Edward," he said. He hit a button on the remote and the players on the screen froze. "Everything alright?" he asked, finally looking at me.

"Yeah." Inspiration struck. "Remember when I first moved here and you told me that you were happy I was here?"

"Of course I remember." Emmett smiled. "You've been a better little brother than I expected."

We laughed at that. "Good," I whispered. Then louder, "I was just thinking about that and how happy I am to be here."

"Awesome," Emmett said. He picked up his remote and the players on the screen began to move again. "Do you want to play?"

I shook my head. This was getting more difficult be the minute. I needed to be alone. "I have homework," I said.

"Cool. I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded and walked out of his room. I went to the next door and found it slightly ajar. From the inside, I could hear Alice's voice. "You're being ridiculous."

She paused for a second. "Yeah, of course I will." Another pause. "I don't know."

I stuck my head in and saw Alice lying on her stomach, her feet waving in the air, the phone pressed to her ear. She saw me standing in the doorframe and smiled. "Well speak of the devil. He's in my room right now, Bella dear."

My tortured heart beat faster, knowing my love was on the other end of the phone. At least that meant she had made it home safe. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Just wanted to say good night, Alice. I won't bug you." I smiled at her and turned to leave.

"Night, Edward," she said. "Don't let the bed bugs bite!"

I laughed softly for her benefit. Then, not stopping to think about what I was doing, I turned and walked back to her bed. I leaned down and very gently kissed the top of her head. "Good night," I said softly.

"Hold on a second," she said into the phone. She sat up on her knees and looked at me. Her eyes narrowed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I think this was the nine hundredth time someone had asked me that question today. "Just tired."

Her eyes ran over my face and then she nodded. Obviously I looked tired enough to satisfy her inspection. That made sense, I was exhausted. "Night Edward. Sleep good okay."

I nodded and turned to leave for real this time. I heard Alice giggle. "Bella says she loves you."

I could feel my knees turning to mush again and tears were rapidly filling my eyes. "Tell her I love her too," I said quickly, my voice thick with tears.

I hurried out of the room as I heard Alice repeating my words into the phone. Once in the hall, I broke into a run until I made it to my own room. I closed the door quietly, waiting for the latch to catch. I leaned my forehead against the wall and took huge gulps of air to keep myself together. I couldn't break down. I didn't have time. It was nearly 10:30 and there was one more thing I needed to do before I left.

An hour later, I opened my bedroom door and slipped out into the hall as quietly as I could. The house was dark and silent. I carefully made my way down the hall and then down the steps. When I reached the bottom, I glanced towards the kitchen and fought the wave of memories that swamped me. Carlisle and his morning coffee, family dinners, Bella making me omelets. I closed my eyes and forced my head to point straight forward. I walked passed the doorway to the kitchen and made it to the front door.

Before I let myself out, I cheated and looked up the stairs one more time. "Good bye and thank you," I whispered to the sleeping family. A single tear slipped down my face, falling off my chin. "I love you all."

With those final words, I spent out into the cold night air and closed the door behind me.

My Volvo was parked on the drive way and I went to it now. I opened the door, slid inside and closed the door as softly as I could. Despite the quiet engine, I still cringed as the car came to life. Anxiously, I looked back at the house, praying it would stay dark. After several heartbeats, no lights came on and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I clenched the steering wheel as I backed out of the driveway, still watching to make sure that no one came flying out to stop me. The house stayed quiet.

I put the car in drive and left the safety of the mansion. On the way to the high school, my mind went a hundred different directions, imagining what could have been. I imagined graduating from high school, Carlisle and Esme smiling proudly from the stands as I received my diploma, Bella waiting for me after I crossed the stage. I imagined the look on Carlisle's face when I got into medical school and the look on Esme's face while I performed on the piano. Then Bella's face, shining with happy tears while I knelt in front of her, a diamond ring held in my hand.

As the last vision swam in front of my eyes, my foot pressed on the brake, stopping the car in the middle of the street. My hand went to my chest, covering my heart as it fisted over my shirt. I leaned forward to put my cheek on the steering wheel as I gasped in pain. The bands in my chest tightened to the point that I couldn't get any air into my lungs. I had to relax, I had to gain control of myself. If I didn't make it to the high school by midnight, everything would be in vain.

I closed my eyes and focused solely on my lungs. Breathe, I thought to myself. Finally, the bands loosened and air flooded into my chest.

I lifted my cheek off the steering wheel and looked at the clock. I had ten minutes. I took my foot off the brake and the car moved forward.

"Edward," I whispered to myself. My knuckles turned white as I clung to the steering wheel. "Don't let him see you as weak," I continued. The sound of my voice in the quiet night helped calm me down. "He killed Mom and is taking away your life now. Don't let him break you." I sat up straighter, still holding the wheel for dear life.

I could see the school now. I pulled into the empty lot and shut off the engine. I stepped out into the frigid night. "Be brave," I whispered one more time.

I stared straight ahead as I walked to the gym, trying not to see the memories that assaulted me with every step I took. As I got closer to the gym doors and made my fists unclench. I would not show fear. The handle felt cold under my hand and for a second I wondered if the door would be locked.

It opened easily as I pulled on it.

My feet took charge as I walked into the gym. They continued to put one foot in front of the other, even while my heart and brain screamed at me to turn around. I walked to the center of the large building and then waited. It was dark in the gym, quiet. The fierce pounding of my heart seemed to echo up to the high ceiling.

I heard footsteps behind me and the panic increased tenfold. It crawled at my throat with each strangling breath I drew in. I turned, slowly, to face him.

He was standing a few feet from me. As I watched, he stepped forward, into a panel of moonlight from the windows that lined the stop of the gym walls. His pale blue eyes glinted in the silver light as they roved over me.

"Hello James," I said, the strength of my voice surprising me.

His blonde eyebrow lifted, but I stood my ground. I would not give him the respect of calling him sir, it was a small defiance, but it was all I had left. I lifted my own eyebrow.

In a blur, his hand shot out and a fire seared across my face. I hissed before clamping my mouth shut. Two month and a half months of pain free living had softened me.

He laughed and shook his head. "It's good to see you, Edward. I've missed you."

"I can't say the same." My mouth seemed to have a mind of its own tonight and I smiled at the words.

His hand smacked against my cheek again with enough force to snap my neck back. I regained my balance and continued to stare back at him.

"You better watch it, boy," he hissed now. "It's not too late to go to a certain police chief's house. Maybe we can go get her and make her watch. I'm in the mood for a snack."

I felt the blood drain from my cheeks at the mention of Bella. My eyes skittered away from his glare. "Don't you dare hurt her," I said, my voice losing some of its strength.

He laughed again. "I told you Edward, you do what I say and no one gets hurt. Understand?"

I nodded.

He grabbed my hair, pulling tight and forcing my head up. "Say it," he mocked next to my ear, shaking me.

"Yes," I said through gritted teeth.

"Yes what?" he asked as he tightened his hold on my hair. "Don't push me boy."

"Yes sir."

He pushed down on my head and shoulder, forcing me down. I landed hard on my knees. "You need to learn some obedience. Stay," he said.

I kept my face down as I watched his dirty shoes leave my line of vision. I took a shaky breath and closed my eyes for a second. I wondered what he had planned. I wished that he would take me out to his car and we would go back to Chicago. Right now, Bella and the Cullens were too close. I almost laughed out loud. I knew his plan wasn't to take me back to Chicago. There was no way I was leaving the gym alive. I wished he would hurry up and kill me now so that he would leave and Forks would be safe.

The mud covered shoes appeared before me again. His ankles crossed and then he was sitting cross legged in front of me. He reached behind him and I heard the clatter of something hit the ground behind him. I swallowed thickly, but didn't move.

"Better," he observed. "So before we get started with tonight's activities, I wanted to tell you a story. Look at me."

I raised his eyes to his face. He was sitting too close to me and I could smell the sour scent of beer on his breath. His blonde hair was greasy and long enough to pull back in a pony tail. He reeked of unwashed, soiled clothes and body odor. He is disgusting.

"So, if I remember correctly," he continued. "The last time I saw you, you were raising a bat to me." He smirked. "I have to admit, you got some good swings in. Broke a few ribs."

I fought a smile at that. I knew I remembered holding the bat.

"I should have just killed you that night," he went on. "Would have saved me the trouble tonight."

I lowered my eyes slightly as I processed this information. He did plan to kill me tonight, I had known that the instant I read his letter this morning. He didn't want me around and I was a witness to his murder. But it even though I had known, it didn't stop the trembling of my fingers. I had so much to live for, I didn't want to die now.

"Why aren't you in jail?" I asked softly. I knew it is against the rules to ask questions, but my life is over anyway, it doesn't matter now.

I expected him to get mad, maybe slap me again. But instead, when I met his eyes, he smiled. "That's part of the story. See the neighbors must have heard something because while I was going after you with the bat, the cops showed up. Took you away, then they saw your mother lying in a puddle of blood."

I winced.

He laughed. "Don't like that do you? Anyway, cops took me to jail, charged me with murder and child abuse." James snorted. "Child abuse. You asked for it! Practically begged me to hit you instead of her. Anyways, I acted like a saint at that damn jail. Did everything they asked me too. Detectives came in and started asking all kinds of questions. I hired myself a lawyer and he came in and took charge. Jails are over crowded these days, so they put a tracker on my ankle, I posted bail and here I am." He laughed.

"They let you out of jail?" I whispered. How was that possible? Why didn't any one tell me that? Surely they had to know that the second he was out, he would come for me. "Where is the tracker?"

"I got it off. It wasn't hard." He shrugged it off. I didn't understand. He had murdered my mother, how could he just walk away, free? "Anyway, enough of that. There's a different story I want to tell you."

I waited quietly, still sitting on my knees.

"So going back to that night. The night you came home late. You know I told you what would happen if you got home late."

I nodded. His hand shot out and struck my face. "Yes sir," I said.

"But you know what the greatest thing is? It's actually really funny, wait to you hear." He laughed hysterically for a few minutes.

I watched him, not at all in the mood to laugh.

"Okay," he said, gaining control, his shoulders still moving with his mirth. "So that day I went to work, just like I always do. But on that particular day, the boss asked to see me. When I went in to his office, he tells me that they are having to downsize, whatever the hell that means, and so they are letting me go. Just like that! No warning, no notice. Just, thanks for the two years of service and out you go! Bastards!"

I jumped as his voice grew.

"I left at lunch time and headed home. Walked into my house and you know what I found?"

"No." I saw his hand rise. "Sir." Don't be weak, my mind screamed at me.

He nodded. "I found your mother sitting on my couch, eating my food, watching my TV. And you know what she has the nerve to say to me?"

I could picture that so easily. My broken mother sitting on that old, worn down couch, completely oblivious to the danger her husband represented. God how I hated him. "No." I finally responded to him. He stared at me and I stared back. He stood up, so he was towering over me as I sat on my knees. I saw his hand raise and I watched it silently. I looked back at him and didn't utter a sound. His hand connected with my face, the slap resounding through the gym. I had to put my hand on the ground to keep myself from falling over. I sat up quickly and buried the pain.

"Goddamnit," he growled. "You will respect me!" This time it was his fist that met my cheek.

A small gasp of pain burst out of my clenched teeth as I righted myself again. "You don't deserve any respect," I said.

He flexed his fist again and I braced myself for the punch that was coming. Don't fall over, I chanted in my brain. Three fast, hard blows met my head, but I stayed upright and didn't give him the satisfaction of knocking me over.

"I should just kill you now and forget about my story."

Yes, please do and then leave Forks, I wanted to say. I glared up at him, daring him with my eyes.

He smirked down at me and crossed his arms. "But I've been looking forward to seeing your face as I tell you this particular story for too long. I dreamed about it during those nights in jail."

My face was on fire, my cheek throbbing painfully but still I remained silent.

He huffed. "When I got home, your mother turned to me. What are you doing home from work so early? She had dared to ask me that! Oh it made me so mad. I went into the garage and found your old bat. God it felt so good. It had been too long."

He sighed and seemed to go back to that moment in time. My own mind was racing. What had he just said? He had gone home at lunch time. Murdered my mother at lunch time? My exhausted mind struggled to understand what he was saying.

"There it is, that's exactly the look I was waiting to see." He laughed manically. "You know the greatest part? At three thirty, I was waiting for you to come home, wondering how I would explain to you why your mom was lying dead on in the living room. I was trying to figure out if I should just kill you too, I mean it's not like I wanted a kid. But then, it was nice to have a punching bag around." He grinned down at me. "But it got later and later and you still didn't come home. Then, I watched you pull up to the house, the look of terror on your face as you saw my car in the driveway. I decided rather than kill you right then, I could do one better."

"So you told me it was my fault," I said, my brain finally clicking into gear. It didn't matter that I had gotten home late. She would have been dead even if I hadn't stay to play the game. There was nothing I could have done. My hands turned to fists in my lap.

"Yeah," he laughed. "And the look on your face was priceless. You actually believed me. Anyway," he said, obviously tired of dragging this out. "What do you say we get started?" He turned around and picked something off the ground. When he faced me again, he held a two pieces of paper, a pen and a knife.

A/N: I just wanted to thank you all for your support in this story. My last chapter received over 20 reviews, which was amazing! I am so glad that you are all enjoying the story and the suspense.

See you all next chapter! If all goes according to plan, it should be up in the next couple of days so you don't have to wait too long to find out what happens. :o)