Disclaimer: Still don't own Twilight or any of the characters. That honor belongs to Stephenie Meyer.


Chapter Twenty-One

"So the first thing we are going do is write a letter." James placed a blank sheet of paper on the floor in front of me and held out a pen.

I reached out for the pen, wishing my hand wasn't shaking quite so bad. "What should I write?" I asked, trying to keep my voice sounding calm and bored. I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing just how badly my insides were shaking and how loud the screams were in my mind.

He looked at me for a second. "It must be so hard to carry around so much guilt. I mean, you basically killed your mother and now look at your life."

"I didn't kill her," I said in a low tone. "You did."

"Yes. I know that. You know that. But, you felt guilty about it up until about five minutes ago, didn't you? Really, your life has under gone quite a change, living in the huge house, driving a brand new car. Bet no one beats you anymore either."

I didn't answer. His words were true, I just didn't know what it meant.

"What do you want me to write," I asked again, wishing he would just hurry up and get on with it.

"Guilt can lead to desperate measures, especially for someone as pathetic as you," James continued in his fake sympathy voice. "I'm sure your new guardians will understand why you felt the need to take your own life."

My eyes widened as I looked at him. Suicide? I almost laughed out loud. "They will never believe that," I said.

"Sure they will."

"How are you going to explain my bruises?" I waved my hand over my face, knowing my cheek was already turning a nasty shade of purple. "Doesn't usually happen when someone kills themselves."

James laughed. "I'm not going to be here, you idiot. Why would I stick around?"

"Hm," I said. "Also, why would I come to the school gym to do it?"

James shrugged. "Who knows what goes through a young, troubled mind."

I wanted to laugh. He obviously hadn't thought this out very well. No one in their right mind would believe I had killed myself. Not with the bruises on my face. Plus, his fingers prints would be all over the murder weapon. And he called me an idiot.

I shook my head. "I still say they will never believe you."

"Does it really matter? You will be dead no matter what."

I looked down at my hands. This was true. But I didn't want any of them to believe I would do this, not now, when I was so happy.

"Besides," he said, completely confident in his plan. "You are going to tell them right now." He gestured to the paper. "Dear Carlisle and Esme. Write it, now."

A suicide note. I put the pen to the paper and focused my attention on writing clearly. My hand was shaking so badly, it was difficult to make the words legible. I dictated exactly what he told me to. My hand wrote his words, but my mind saw my own.

My letter held the truth. That letter sat on my bed at home. One more way his plan would never work. And I thanked God now that I had taken the time to write it.

Dear Carlisle, Esme, Alice and Emmett.

I know you frantic right now, wondering where I am. I didn't mean to worry you, you have given me so much. So please, try to understand that I did what I had to do. My stepfather found me. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you. He has been following me and he threatened all of your lives. I couldn't live if something happened to any of you because of me. I don't know how he got out of jail. But, I don't want to dwell on that right now.

I do want you to know how much you changed my life and how much respect I have for all of you. Thank you so much for opening your home and hearts to me. It means more to me than you can ever imagine. You are all wonderful people and my life was so much better because of you.

Carlisle and Esme, you are the parents I always wished I had. You have so much love to give and I am lucky to have been given a chance to know you. Even though it was only for a short time, please know that you made my life better.

Emmett and Alice, I've always been an only child but you showed what it would be like to have a brother and a sister. I found I love being a younger brother. You've also shown me true friendship and for that I will be forever grateful. Please tell Jasper and Rosalie thank you as well for making me feel as if I belonged. I never once felt like an outsider.

I love you. All of you.

Edward

James is such a fool. I thought of the letters sitting on my bed right now. No matter what he made me do tonight, they would know the truth. The letter he dictated to me now held only lies. In it, I explained to Carlisle and Esme how the nightmares had become too much and I just couldn't live with the guilt anymore. I wasn't happy and I needed to escape. It was formal and held no hint of the respect and love I felt for them.

In fact, if I wasn't holding on so tight to keep from screaming, I might have laughed at my stepfather's idiocy.

I signed my name on the letter of lies and then looked up at him, expectantly. "Fold it in half," he said, "And write their names on the outside."

I did what he asked. "And now?"

He put another paper in front of me. "You are going to write another letter. To Bella this time."

I stared at him for a second. "Why?" I managed. I didn't want to write lies to her, even though she also had a letter addressed to her, sitting on my bed.

His face broke into a smile and I knew it was because some of my fear had just trickled through my tough shell. "Because she deserves to know why her boyfriend killed himself. Now write."

This was much more difficult because in this letter, he told me to tell Bella that her love wasn't enough to save me. It was the darkest kind of blasphemy and I felt as if I was going to throw up as I watched the words appeared on the page.

I was eternally grateful that the truth sat at home, waiting for her to see.

Bella,

I don't even know what to say sweetheart. I am so sorry that I can not be with you. Do you remember the talk we had at the baseball field at lunch yesterday? What I told you wasn't a nightmare, but reality. He came back and I cannot fight him, not when he is threatening to take away the people that mean the most to me. I will not allow him to hurt you.

Be brave, my love. But more importantly, be happy, that is all I've ever wanted for you. Your smile is beautiful and a ray of sunshine in my life. Please don't deprive the world of it. Smile when you think of me and know that no matter where I am, I am thinking of you and the joy you brought to my life.

Look after my heart—I've left it with you.

I love you forever and always,

Edward

Now, I looked at the fake suicide letter he had forced me to write and wanted to rip it up. Her love was enough to save me, it had saved me and I didn't want her to read these words. I didn't want the last words she read from me to be lies. James must have seen the desperation on my face because he took the letter from me and added it to the one addressed to Carlisle and Esme.

I stared at the pages filled with lies and hated him even more. I hoped with my whole heart that they would all know those words had been written under duress and should not be taken seriously.

"Now," James said as he picked up the knife. I looked at the silver blade and felt my heart beating in my throat. Panic was rioting within me. My stomach clenched tight and the bands tightened again and I couldn't breathe, nor could I control the spasmodic trembling inside of me.

I wanted to beg him not to kill me. I wanted to plead with him to let me live, to let me walk out of the gym and return to my home, to my life. I wanted to grab the knife and heave it across the room. I wanted to scream how much I hated him and how not fair it was that he thought he had the right to take away my life.

But I couldn't. To fight back would only endanger all those I cared about, innocent people who did not deserve to be touched by this dark, insane monster.

So instead I stood up, refusing to kneel in front of him any longer. I could only breathe in short, shallow gasps, but that was the only outward sign of my terror.

A chilled, black silence surrounded us. James held the knife out to me. "Take it," he whispered.

I grasped the black handle, surprised at how heavy it felt in my hand. I stared at it, twisting it so the silver blade shone in the moonlit.

"Cut your wrist," he said.

My eyes flew to his and I saw the leering smile on his lips, the sparkle of excitement in his pale eyes. I shook my head and tried to swallow the lump in my throat so I could talk.

"You will do what I say," he said slowly. "You know the price if you don't."

I was frozen in place, the knife hanging limply in my hand.

"Edward," he said in a sing song voice. "You don't honestly want me to go get Bella, do you?"

My head moved from side to side. "Please," I whispered, "Don't hurt her." I looked him in the eye now.

"I won't, I told you that. But you have to hold up your end of the agreement."

"How can I trust you not to hurt after I'm dead?" I asked him point blank.

"She means nothing to me," James shrugged as if this was obvious. "There's no reason for me to hurt her. The only reason I would is because it would hurt you. You can't hurt once you're dead."

I watched his eyes as he said this and even though they held a madness that told me he wasn't quite sane, I believed him. Bella was only a pawn to him, to be used to hurt me if I didn't follow his instructions. Despite the intense fear raging through me, I felt a stab of relief, knowing that as long as I did what he said, he would leave the others alone. "So when I'm dead," my voice cracked over the last word, but I needed his guarantee. "You will leave Forks."

He nodded. Then he took a step forward and held up my left hand. "Now. Cut yourself from here," he put a finger on the edge of my palm. "To here." He ran his finger up the inside of my arm to my elbow. "You will need to press down hard to make sure you have hit the veins."

Tears I couldn't hold any longer began to slip from my eyes. This was it. As soon as I followed his instructions, my life was over. I lifted my right hand and placed the tip of the blade on my palm.

"That's it," he said in a soothing voice. He continued to hold my right hand and he squeezed it now, as if he was encouraging me to be brave. I wanted to yank my hand away from him, but I refused to listen to that side of my brain. "Here," he continued in that fake gentle tone. "I'll help."

He put his hand over mine on the knife and pressed down. A gasp of pain escaped my lips as the knife sunk its way into the tender skin of my palm. His hand forced mine back and the knife began to slice through my arm, heading for my elbow. My chest began to heave in agony as the tears came faster. The knife was halfway to my elbow and already blood was dripping over my fingers.

"That's not so hard, is it?" he whispered. He took his hand off the knife and rested it on my forearm. He used his fingers to open my cut wider.

A sound of anguish came from deep within my chest and I almost fell to my knees. "Please," I gasped, not even sure what I wanted.

He looked at my face now and I saw the crazy gleam in his eyes. Enjoyment shone on his face with a feverish glow.

I lifted the knife from my arm and dropped it to the ground. It clattered as it hit the wood floor. "I did it," I whispered.

He tsked. "Not yet Edward. You have two wrists." He bent down and picked up the knife again.

Again, the knife was held out to me and I took in my bloody hand. It was slippery now and I almost dropped it. Already I felt light headed as blood continued to drip down my fingers, falling to the floor. He picked up my undamaged right hand. "Again," he said.

I clenched my teeth. I refused to let him see my suffering or to let him hear me beg. The tears I couldn't control were all he would get. Without a word, I lifted the knife and placed it on my palm. Blood continued to splatter to the floor. I was about to press the knife into my skin, when the sound of a door slamming echoed through the gym.

"What the hell!" James roared as he spun around. Without him there to hold me up, I dropped the knife and staggered to my knees, holding my bloody arm against my chest tightly. The room began to spin in slow circles around me.

"Edward! Where are you?"

No! No no no no! My mind screamed as her voice rang through the dark room. "Bella," I cried softly. She couldn't be here, why was she here?

I struggled to my feet just as she walked into the room. I stepped forward, desperately trying to put myself between her and James. I saw her eyes widen when she saw me. "Edward!" she cried again and she was hurrying towards me. Her face was flushed as if she had been running and her hair curled wildly around her shoulders. She wore her blue and green striped pajama pants and a large sweatshirt. Never had she looked more beautiful to me.

"Yes," I heard James snarl next to me.

The panic I had felt before was nothing compared to what raced through me now. "Bella," I managed to gasp out. "You have to get out here, now please."

"I'm not leaving you," she said, her voice strong, offering no fear. Most likely because she didn't understand the true monster that stood in front of her. Why was she here!

Next to me, James bent down and when he stood, the bloody knife was in his hand. "No!" I shouted at him. "I did what you asked! I came. I wrote those damn letters. I cut my wrist. I'm going to die, you got what you wanted!"

His eyes gleamed as he looked at me. "Obviously you didn't follow the rules, boy. Or else she wouldn't be here."

"I didn't know she was coming," I gasped. "I swear I don't know why she's here." The spinning was getting faster and I struggled to remain standing. And still the blood flowed freely from my arm, creating a puddle at my feet.

"Don't touch him anymore," Bella said as she walked closer to us. She was only a few steps from me and I wanted to scream. She shouldn't be here! "You won't ever hurt him again."

"Yeah," James agreed. "Because he'll be dead. See his arm? He's going to bleed to death within a matter of minutes."

Bella looked at me, at my arm and I could see tears filling her eyes. "He's going to be fine," she said, but her voice shook over the words losing its earlier confidence. She looked me in the eye. "You are going to be fine."

James smirked. "Keep telling yourself that. Wait just a minute, then it will be just you and me." His eyes raked over her. He took two steps forward until he stood in front of her and touched her silky hair. "I bet we could have some fun. But first, we will watch your boyfriend die together."

"No," I growled. I may not have protected my mother from this monster, but I sure as hell would protect Bella. He would not lay a hand on my precious girl. I used what remained of my strength and launched myself at him. I used my fists to punch him in the face. I had surprise on my side and I got in several blows before he even realized what was happening. I pummeled his face, years of anger and pain exploding out of me, giving me strength. "You won't hurt her!" I cried over and over again.

"Edward." I felt hands trying to pull me away and I fought them as I continued to force my fists into James' face. "Edward. Son, stop."

The word son broke through the red haze of anger and I looked up to see Carlisle kneeling on the ground next to me. "Carlisle," I whispered. He put his hand on my shoulder.

"Let me take care of him," he said gently as he pulled me off James' body.

I sank down to the floor, feeling my cheek hit the cool wood. My energy was gone. That last burst of adrenaline had taken all I had left. But she was safe.

Bella was at my side instantly. "Edward," she sobbed as she began taking off her sweatshirt. Underneath she was wearing the blue camisole she usually wore to bed. "Sweetheart, we have to get your arm to stop bleeding."

Her face swam in front of my eyes and I struggled to keep my eye lids open. "I think it's too late," I muttered softly. Somewhere in the distance, I heard Carlisle shouting, but I couldn't understand the words. All I knew was that he was dealing James and James wouldn't hurt anyone, anymore.

Bella wrapped her sweatshirt around my arm, but it was instantly soaked through with blood. "Carlisle!" she cried. "Edward," she looked back at me. "You have to hold on, do you understand me? You can't let him win."

"I love you, Bella."

"Edward, I love you too." Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. "I can't lose you, not when I just found you. I've waited my whole life for you. Please don't give up." Her free hand brushed back my hair as she spoke, the other pressed against the wound in my arm.

"Let me see his arm," Carlisle said kneeling next to her.

"Where—is James?" I panted.

"He's taken care of, he won't hurt you," Carlisle said softly as he took Bella's soaked sweatshirt off my arm. He hissed when he saw the damage. Immediately the doctor in him took control and he yanked off his own sweatshirt. He tore the shirt into strips, using one of the strips to create a tourniquet around my bicep. Then he wrapped more strips tightly around my arm. "Bella," he said as he tied the last strip in a knot. I need you to hold his arm as tightly as you can. Do not let go. He can't lose anymore blood."

I saw her nod as my eyes drifted close. "No," she whispered. "Edward, don't you dare go to sleep."

I cranked my eyes open and looked at her. Talking took energy I didn't have. I felt my self being lifted off the ground and knew that Carlisle held me. "Emmett," he said. "You, Esme and Alice stay here until the police arrive. Do not let him go for any reason."

"They—are –here?" I asked in short gasps.

"Yeah," Bella said softly. "Don't talk, save your strength."

Carlisle bent to put me in the back seat of his Mercedes. "I'll—get—blood—everywhere," I protested as he laid me on the black leather seats.

"Don't be ridiculous," was the only response he gave me.

Bella slid in next to me. She pulled me up against her, so my head was leaning against her chest. She continued to hold my arm tightly, but blood seeped through her fingers. "Keep him awake," Carlisle said from the front seat and I felt the car begin to race through the parking lot.

I felt Bella's lips press to my hair. "You saved me from him, you know," she whispered against my hair."

"Yeah," I whispered. "I couldn't let him hurt you."

"I know. I think you had another adrenaline rush," she teased gently.

"Yeah." I tried to smile up at her, but my face twisted in pain. "I'm so sorry."

A sob broke through her. "You have nothing to apologize for sweetheart. Nothing. You're going to be okay," she said. "You have to be."

"Bella, the letter he had me write, it's not true." I wanted her to know that. "Please, don't even read it."

"I won't," she murmured against my hair.

"I wrote you one, a different one. It's on my bed, read that one." My words were so soft was I was afraid she wouldn't hear. My eyes wanted to close again, but I forced them open.

"Okay," she answered softly. "But you will read it to me."

My eyes closed again, the darkness pushing down on me. "Edward," I heard Bella cry softly, "Please don't."

"I'm here," I breathed. My eyes half opened and I heard her gasp in relief.

"We are almost there, my angel. Just hold on a little bit longer. Carlisle," her voice rose as she spoke to the man in the front seat. "He's still bleeding so much, what can I do?" I heard the desperation in her voice.

"Lift his arm up," Carlisle said through his teeth. "We are just about there."

My arm lifted in the air and my eyes slid closed again.

Her lips pressed to my cold cheek and I could feel her tears wet on my skin. "Don't leave me Edward, please."

I was trying, I didn't want to leave her. But it was so hard. I couldn't see anything but black and I felt like I was listening to her through a tunnel. "I love you, Bella," I moved my lips and hoped she would know what I was trying to say.

"I love you too," she sobbed and I felt myself begin to rock back and forth. The darkness pushed down harder and I could barely make out the words she was whispering against my ear. I couldn't fight it anymore.

A/N: I'm sorry! I know it's another cliffhanger, but it's the climax, it's supposed to be exciting.... I think I'll go run and hide now.

Seriously though, you guys have been so awesome. I can't believe the number of people that are reading and enjoying this story. It blows my mind everytime I check my email and find that someone else has put it on alert, or favorited it or, best of all, reviewed. It makes me squeal every time. So thank you thank you thank you, one hundred times. You guys are the best. I promise, next chapter will resolve everything and no more cliffies.